
Class _l_JC_Lit_s: 



CqEyrightj;^' 



GDEmiGHT DEPOSm 



QUEEN iJ> HOME 

HER REIGN c^,^ 

From Infancy TO Age ^^^"^ 

From Attic to Cellar 



TWELVE DEPARTMENTS 



Treating of Home Occupations ; Nursery ; Home Training 
Home Amusements ; Social Relations ; Entertainments ; 
Library; Dress; Occupations for Women, 
including papers by 

eminent authorities 

On Home Decorations, Infancy, and The Sick-Room. 



r ^ 



73 ■ 

EMMA CHURCHMAN HEWITT 

Associate Editor of Ladies' Home Journal; Author of "Ease in Conversation," and 

" Hints to Ballad Singers." 



APPROPRIATELY ILLUSTRATED 



I^HILADKIvPHIA. 
NIILLER-NIEGEE COIVIPANY, PUBLISHERS 

1889 







copyrighted by 

Miller-Megee Company, 

1888. 



TO HER, 
WHO STANDS IN THE FRONT RANK AND FILE 

OF THE 

QUEENS OF HOME 

AS 

LOVING WIFE, 

DEVOTED MOTHER, 

WISE COUNSELOR, 

FAITHFUL FRIEND, 

MY GRANDMOTHER, 
IS THIS VOLUME AFFECTIONATELY INSCRIBED. 



THE QUEEN. 



IN THE history of the world for centuries past, many women 
have held the sceptre, and nations have looked by turns with 
love and fear upon the hand that ruled them. Strong men have 
bowed to the stern will of an Elizabeth, or yielded to the gentler 
sway of a Marie Antoinette. Armies have followed a Zenobia on to 
victory ; nations have wept with a discarded Josephine. In nearly 
every land under the sun has woman ruled by royal right, but where 
has there been a throne erected so worthy of her occupancy, so 
world-wide in its influence, as that which she occupies in our free- 
born America? What robe can be more queenly than that in which 
the husband vests his wife when making her the keeper of his heart 
and home? What crown-jewels more resplendent, or more to be 
coveted, than those of which Cornelia was so justly proud ? What 
patent-royal to be more eagerly sought after than that conferred by 
the divine right of wife-and-motherhood? What kingdom more to 
be desired than that of "home?" 

In this glorious land where none are royal, all are queens, 
governing by the God-given right of womanhood. 

But a long and varied experience has taught me that, though 
ruler-absolute in her own realm, she often feels bitterly her own 
inexperience and inability to wisely order her own affairs, and either 
gropes blindly and despairingly through her difficulties, making 
many a stumble where a word from a wiser head would have saved 
a misstep, or eagerly seeks the advice of some one older, and 
presumably more experienced. Recognizing, too, the fact that often 
in time of greatest need, the more experienced friend is wanting, 
with the able assistance of such eminent authorities as Annie R. 
Ramsey and Doctors J. Aubrey Davis and Frank Fisher, I have 
embodied in this volume such information, helpful hints and sugges- 
tions as shall be of practical benefit to woman in all her relations, 
both to the home and to the outside world. 

To the Queen of America, then — the sympathetic friend — the 
patient sister and faithful daughter — the devoted mother — the loving 
wife — the "Queen of Home" — is this volume respectfully dedicated by 




HOME. 



HOME ! O, soft, sweet sound ! O, talismanic word ! Who has 
not seen the hour when the mere whisper of the word could 
bring tears of longing to the weary eye, ever turned eagerly toward 
the morrow? 

Who has not known the moment when the thought of "home" 
has calmed a stubborn heart, that defied all else? 

Home! Who shall define the word? "Home is where the 
heart is," says some one. Where the heart is! Aye! there is the 
secret! 

Have a care, young people, just starting out in life, lest you 
confound housekeeping with home-making: for many a young wife 
has wrecked not only her own happiness but that of both husband 
and children by striving vainly to make the former do duty for the 
latter, and only after years of struggle, when the home-nest was empty, 
did she see with the clearer vision of experience, the awful mistake of 
her life, and feel that she would willingly give years of her life, could 
she be permitted to repair the wrong, and make for those around her 
a real home. 

Look to it young wife — look to it young mother — look to it 
daughter and sister — that in your efforts to do your duty as house- 
keepers, you do not forget your higher duty as home-makers. Look 
to it that you so order your daily life with tact, so temper authority 
and stern justice with loving kindness and tenderness, that in the 
long vista of years ahead, to your loved ones, to paraphrase a dear 
old-fashioned song — 

The dearest spot on earth shall be 

''Home, sweet home;" 
The fairy land they long to see 

Is ''Home, sweet home." 



CONTENTS 



HOME OCCUPATIONS. 

Chapter I. Housekeeping — Paul and Virginia — Starting in life — A judicious decision — 
Shall we board? — Family frankness — What "tries men's souls " — Evils of life in a board- 
ing house — Virginia's supper — How it might have been different — Paul's fortitude — " But 
I hate housekeeping" — All the aunts and cousins — Multiplied wisdom — The laws of the 
Medes and Persians 1 1 

Chapter II. Planning the Week's Work — Adjustable plans — A waste of time — "Pre- 
maturely old" — "Declined with thanks" — "I'm through by ten o'clock" — the sitting 
question — " It looks so lazy " — A fig for the way " it looks " — The self-righteous woman 
and the meek — Bounden duty — Novel amusement for the baby — Now / don't agree with 
you; honestly, I don't — "Woman's wit " — The pleasantest way—An inspiration to greater 
deeds 17 

Chapter III. Baking Day — How to teach children — Shall we eat pie? — "Plain cakes for 

the children" — Devices for lightening the work 23 

Chapter IV. Sw^eeping and Dusting — Sweeping day — Demented on the subject of house- 
work — A false idea of nicety — An invention to delude the innocent housekeeper — It does 
not pay 28 

Chapter V. Marketing — How to market — Value of " ready-made " knowledge — A running 
account, and its disadvantages — The income question — A fallacy among sanguine lovers — 
The wife as treasurer — Paying cash — "Out of debt" — Must haves and can haves — The 
story of the butcher — Mutton and parsnips — Hungry and reticent — "Providing made 
easy " . -^t, 

Chapter VI. Moving and House Cleaning — ''Order brought out of chaos" — Such a 

week! — A chorus of "Ohs" — " Putting to rights" — With ease and comfort 47 

Chapter VII. Household Conveniences — "Closets and closets'" — " Riddled with moths" 
— " My lady's chamber " — An adjustable table — " A thing of beauty and a joy forever " — 
The particular province of the Queen — Inventions, necessary or z/;«necessary ? — Samantha 
Allen, and our fore-mothers — Labor-saving devices 50 

HOME DECORATIONS. 

Chapter I. Color and Decoration in the House — Paul and Virginia " counting up " — 
Trying to make a cosy home — "Where is the house to be? " — Avoid malaria, a legion of 
demons — Dark rooms — Light on the subject — Don't grow discouraged — Laws of dec- 
oration — Color schemes — The beauty of your rooms 59 

Chapter II. Carpets — Carpets, or rugs and bare floors ? — Stained floors — Persian rugs — 
American imitations — Axminsters and velvets — Kensington squares — Color schemes for 
carpets 66 

Chapter HI. Wall-paper — Artistic designs — Dados and friezes — Devices for increasing or 
diminishing the apparent size of a room — Patterns and colors — The pride of our 
grandmothers — French designs — "Boston felting" — The dear, unthinking boys — An 
immaculate house — A curious chemical law in treating paint 70 



Chapter IV. Draperies — Draping the windows — Nottingham lace — China silks — Stained 
glass — Colored curtains — Silk " tie-backs " or brass chains — Draperies, par excellence — 
Virginia's time 74 

Chapter V. Furnishing — The hall — Japanese dados — "Venetian carpets" — The "hall- 
piece" — The " best room" — Paul as a carpenter — How to arrange i\xxvi\\.\xx^ artistically 78 

Chapter VI. The Dining Room — Curtains at the bay-window — A "chair-rail" — The regu- . 
lation sideboard as a "nightmare" — Flowers in the dining room — Virginia's wedding 
presents — Dainty damasks — Glass and china — Paul's success in business — Trenton ware, 
Japanese and majolica — Flowers for the table 89 

Chapter VII. Bedrooms — Knick-knacks of the toilet — Virginia's ingenuity — "Away with 

such nonsense " — Small caraffe or pitcher — Color schemes for the bedroom 99 

Chapter VIII. The Family Sitting Room — Half boudoir, half library — A " living room " 
should never be without books — Virginia's tea to an afternoon caller — What pictures shall 
we buy? — Autotypes and photogravures — Building the " home nest " 106 



THE NURSERY. 

Chapter I. Its Sanitation, Uses and Conveniences — Its hallowed recollections — " Good 
times in the dear old nursery" — Practically the home of the infant — " Baby" the ruler 
absolute; both queen and tyrant — " Clasping tiny hands" — Naming the baby iii 

Chapter IL Avoidable Deformities — Responsibility of parents — Necessary watchfulness 

— " Looks cute" in infancy, but is awkward in youth — Headache from defective vision . 121 

Chapter III. Holiday Evils — "Putting away the Christmas toys" — " Exactly, Clarice " — 
Christmas festivals and New Year's parties — Dolls in the Orient — Dolls as a means of 
education — From Greenland to Hindostan 125 

Chapter IV. Children's Nerves — Afraid of the dark — How to remedy this — The good- 
night lesson — "Tired nature's sweet restorer, balmy sleep" — A romp with father — 
Bedtime — Off to the Land of Nod . 133 

INFANCY. 

Chapter I. The Infant — Improper methods of strengthening it — Dangers of overfeeding — 
Method of dressing — The bath — The queen's treasure — " Seeing baby's feet " — Do not 
urge the child to walk 143 

Chapter II. Feeding — Food — Proper kinds and quantity — Lime-water to prevent colic — Care 
of hand-fed infant — Condensed milk — Evaporated milk — Learn to feed the baby properly 
— And avoid a sad experience 149 

Chapter HI. Artificial Food — Valuable rules — What, when and how to feed — Mellin's 

food — "Flour ball" — Beef tea — Milk the main reliance — Other foods 153 

Chapter IV. Diet and Care of Children — Avoid monotony in feeding children — Train- 
ing the child's taste — Silvery laughter — Crying as a language — You may learn to read it 
— Be observing, and thus aid the physician 157 

Chapter V. Dentition — This the crisis of infancy — Brain and nervous system — The tissues 
and physiological functions of the mouth — The absorption of gum tissue — Delusive ideas 
— Proper exercise in the open air — Look after the moral side of children's associations . 162 



HOME TRAINING. 

Chapter I. Home Education — True education — "Book learning" — Counsel and advice — 

Parental example — Unjust accusations — '< Boarding schools " 169 

Chapter II. Why? — Children are sharp-witted — How to develop their judgment — Relations 
of parent and child — Woman's judgment in matters of finance — Teaching the daughter, 
/r«<f/zV<2//j/, to make piu-chases 177 

Chapter III. Small Trusts — Your boys! — "Eternal vigilance" — "Little drops of water, 
little grains of sand" — " He was faithful in little things " — Evils of treating — The practice 
of trading 182 

Chapter IV. Home Relations and Home Manners — Paterfamilias and the much abused 
mother-in-law — Grandpa and Grandma — Effects of fashion on social conditions and 
marriage — An important rule — Let there be harmony — Hold no acrimonious discussions 
before the children — A guardian brother — Care of the baby — A protest against injustice 
to the older children 187 

Chapter V. Observation — Directness of speech — Self-control — An idea from Trollope's 
"Armadale" — Developing the habit of correct observation — The facetious railway em- 
ploye, and what it cost him — Self-control in the matter of speech — Responsibility of 
mothers in teaching their children self-control — A sad story 196 

Chapter VI. School — " Baby has gone to school" — Defects of our present system of education 
— "Big heads and little bodies " — The precocious pet of the family — Incidents in the 
teaching of children 201 

Chapter VII. Selection of Professions — The education of women as wives and mothers 
— How shall the sons be taught to be good husbands? — " The Lord called me. Aunt" — 
"Are you sure it was not some other noise you heard?" — The imp'ortance of education 
according to individual talent — The question of a boy's calling — Not to be settled in a 
moment — A good mechanic more acceptable of God than an inferior minister — How to 
wisely decide your boy's calling for life 205 



THE SICK-ROOM. 

Chapter I. Nervous Disorders — Dr. William A. Hammond's invaluable suggestions as to 

nervous troubles — Symptoms, and what should be done — A cure for indigestion .... 209 

Chapter IL Small Ailments — How they should be carefully considered — Retain the child's 
confidence — Imprudence in children's plays — "Only a toothache" — Suggestion and 
remedies — Food for invalids 212 

Chapter HI. The Nurse and Patient — Care of the sick-room — Maternal devotion — Sanita- 
tion and hygienic arrangements — Instruction to the nurse — Helpful suggestions .... 218 

Chapter IV. Cleanliness — Germ diseases — Antiseptic cleanliness — Disinfection — The curious 

origin of a case of typhoid fever — Disinfectants, and how to use them — Duty of the nurse 225 

Chapter V. Ventilation — How to properly ventilate — Moisture in the atmosphere — Currents 

of air — "God's own fresh air" necessary — Ill-constructed rooms 230 

Chapter VI. Light — Bathing — Clothing — Better for the sick-room to have a southern 
exposure — The development of certain diseases favored by darkness — Flowers in the sick- 
room — Rules as to bathing — Arranging the bed — Important consideration of temperature 227 



Chapter VII. Diet — Preparing and serving food — The value of different articles of diet — 
Coffee, tea and beef-tea — Consider the patient's cravings, or "fancies" — An important 
injunction to the nurse 23q 

Chapter VIII. Food for Invalids — Emergencies — Rules for the preparation of food — What 

to do in emergencies 243 

Chapter IX. The Emergency Box — Accidents " happen in the very best regulated families " 
— " In time of peace prepare for war" — What the emergency box should contain — The 
importance of self-possession in an emergency 248 



HOME AMUSEMENTS. 

Chapter I. The Mission of Fancy-work — Selecting amusements for children — Fun for little 

Paul — An £><^>(^^' in learning — Scroll-sawing — The microscope 253 

Chapter II. Pets, Flowers, Music — The study of animal life — "Speak" — Sir John Lub- 
bock's study of ants — The introduction of pets into the household — The baby and the 
cat — Flowers and plants as a means of amusing and educating children — Growing a name 
— " A song without words " — Music as a refining influence 259 

Chapter III. Games — Necessity for amusement — Games of our childhood — New games — 

Domino 270 

Chapter IV. Amusements in the Country — Advantages to children of living in the coun- 
try — Fun by the sea — The barrel-Yiorse — "Ain't it fun!" — The life of young people in 
country and city compared 276 

Chapter V. Some Home-made Toys — How to make a doll — " Bean-bags," and how the game 

is played — The kaleidoscope — Ring-toss — Squalls — " Menagerie rug " for baby .... 284 



SOCIAL RELATIONS. 

Chapter I. Who is my Neighbor? — " Charity, like a cloak, covereth a multitude of sins" — 
The interpretation of this text — The principles of politeness — How we judge others — 
Hostess and guests — The women of to-day 289 

Chapter II. Mistress and Maid — True ideas of home-making — The valuable employe and 
the dentist — Employment in factories compared with domestic service — The y^/z^r^ plan of 
housekeeping 297 

Chapter III. Gnats — A little worry is like "little knowledge," a "dangerous thing" — The 
annoyances resulting from innuendo — Finding fault with the "goods the gods provide" — 
An inspiring motto 303 

Chapter IV. Form — The daughter in society — The mother should keep up with the times — 
"Ceremony" keeps society together — "Social Laws" as necessary as laws in any other 
department of life — Rules of etiquette _^^«^ra//j/ based on sound principles — Illustrations 306 

Chapter V. Social Visiting — Launched fairly upon the world — The typical American voice, 
and how to improve it — Advantages in business and society of 2^ good voice — " Calling " — 
"Afternoons" and " evenings " 310 

Chapter VI, Social Circles and Clubs — Naming social clubs — The R. A. L. A. — The old 
days of " singing skules " and spelling bees — Literary clubs — Singing societies, etc. — How 
these clubs should be organized 315 



ENTERTAINMENTS. 

Chapter I. Soap-bubble and Pop-corn Parties — Entertaining one's friends — The olden- 
time "party" — A merry winter evening — A soap-bubble party and the prizes 319 

Chapter II, Candy Parties — Instructions for making French candy — Cream chocolates — 
English walnuts and filberts — Confectioners' sugar — "Jim Crows" — Wrapping fancy 
candies 325 

Chapter III. Lawn Parties — These should never be attempted by anyone who has no lawn 
^Queen of the Cupids — Fancy dress for lawn parties — A number of suitable games — 
Chinese lanterns — Refreshments — ^The hostess and her " assistants " 329 

Chapter IV. Masquerades — A mistaken impression of masquerades — A few suggestions — 
Choosing a costume — Costumes and characters described — The domino — The " Virginia 
reel" 333 

Chapter V. Entertainments for Charity — Church in debt — Raising money for " charity, 
sweet charity " — Lunch parties — Necktie and apron parties — The mutual obligations of 
daily life — " Tableaux " — " Picture gallery " — The minuet — " Mrs. Jarley's Wax Works " 
— "Mum sociables" — " Rainbow teas " — A word of admonition 339 

THE LIBRARY. 

Chapter I. Considered as a Room — Bibliomaniacs — A bay-window and an open fire-place 
— The furniture — The library desk and its equipment — Library and living-xoova combined 
— Much expense not necessary to comfort 349 

Chapter II. Considered as Books — What to read and how to read — What shall my daughter 
read? — Do you believe in reading fiction? — "Helen's Babies" — Mrs. Whitney and Miss 
Alcott — Newspapers and periodicals — A hopeful sign in the Boston public schools — 
Judgment in selecting a " course of reading " — Suggestions to young girls — An ingenious 
suggestion from St. Nicholas 356 

Chapter III. Pen, Ink and Paper — Points pertaining to correspondence — Let a friendly letter 
be characteristic — Letters of condolence and congratulation — Business letters — " The fem- 
inine way" — Explanations of business customs 363 

Chapter IV. Preparation of Manuscript — Instructions — Directions for sending the manu- 
script — Reproducing y^rd-z^w books — The process explained 373 

DRESS. 

Chapter L The Influence of Dress — Queen Victoria's inexorable dictum, and its effect upon 
Princess Louise — In olden times, women dressed alike; to-day, they seek to manifest 
originality in dress — " Handsome zV as handsome a^'d?,?^." Is it true? 379 

Chapter II. Dress versus Cost — Mourning- — Good effects possible at small expense — Not 
necessary to " devote all one's time and thought to the subject of dress" — " Getting ready 
to be married " — The incident of the widow who mourned so deeply " that her veil reached 
to the hem of her dress " — Suggestions as to consistency 384 

Chapter III. General Care of the Person — Cosmetics — The art of washing one's face — 
Frowning an ugly habit — The care of the face and hands — General care of the teeth — Hair ; 
the beauty of grey hair — Thorough vanity of tight lacing — Wear a shoe that is "just right " 
— Selecting effective materials for dress 392 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 

Chapter I Woman's Sphere—" No head for business "—Every thorough housekeeper learns 
?hree wT-What the world is suffering for-'' Getting along ''-Girls shou d be edu- 
Zed to be self-supporting, in case of necessity-The " bitter bread of charity " ■ ■ • , 40i 

Chapter II. What Shall I Do ?-Do nof - wait for something to turn fVj'-'P^omp^yd^ 
that you are best fitted for-Can you do no^kin,^ well ?-Contrast of /.^^.^ and>r/- 
Fancfful stories of the heroine, in business life as a mascot-- No royal road to success 
—Suggestions on silk culture— Various occupations • • • ^ :> 

Chapter III Advice to Young Women-A11 that a mother can do-False views of life 

exposed-^' Homely hints to young women in business "-The girl at the telephone- ^^^ 
"Oh! these women" 

Chapter IV Selection of a Calling-A young woman without money or mJiuenHal friends 

Chapter^ V ^^^^ ^^^ ^^^^^^ do-Essential qualifications of a good stenographer-^ r.^./..- 

ture as a vocation for women-The work of an expert typewriter 4i» 

Ch after V Women as Business Women— Woman's book-keeping—" Received from my hus- 
band fifrdXs "-" Spent it all "-Many avenues to business now opening for women 
^'purSasIng agents''-'' Teachers' agencies "-Miss Ada C. Sweet's success as pension 
agent, disbursing six million dollars yearly 

Chapter VI The Trained NuRSE-Quahfications of the good nurse-Erroneous impressions 

—Discretion— Course of study— Rigid discipline ^-^^^ 

Chapter VII Arts and SciENCES-Schools of manual training-Drawing and dfsigning- 
Wood-engraving-Letter from Miss Edith Cooper-Maud Humphreys and Ida Waugh, 

as i/Zus^rators—^ omen as scientists and inventors ^-5 

o VTTT Hfnttstry- " I wish to enter your office as assistant"— A woman dentist 

"^"^'"eLTnfien thoSa^don generally admitted to schools of dentistry 444 

Chapter IX MEDiciNE-Advantages and disadvantages as a profession for women-Opinions 
^f women physicians concerning their profession-Eminent women physicians .... 451 

ER X Schools, Scholars and Teachers-" Progress," the cry of the nineteenth 
eLtu;y-pfophecy of a young Philadelphian fifty years ago-Teachmg, the extent of its 
Lrence-Comparative influence of teachers and parents-Famous women teachers-The 
sC of Mrs. Hopkin's success-Miss Anne Churchman, and her methods of teachmg- 

The duties and trials of the governess 

rwAPTKR XI LiTERATURE-Woman's marked success in this field-The editor and the 
Llor Marv Mapes Dodge and St. Nicholas-T\.e home of " Marion Harland^^ - 
ntss b7o1 and S./.r'/^«.«^r--Mrs. Wistar-Mrs. Whitney and her deligi fu 
storfes-Mr. Howells-Miss Alcott and her marvelous success-" Josiah Allen's Wife^ ^^^ 

— "Sunshine Land" 

.. VTT Cm ARTTTES and OPPORTUNITIES— Mrs. A. T. Stewart's hotel for working-women 

Nightingale anListerDora-The pathetic struggles of workmg-girls 49^ 

Sr^De S°S «^r.o Nap'^oreon-P.ato-s opinion of wo-„ Illustrious wo.en- 

T. De Witt Talmage's beautiful tribute to woman as Queen ot Home i / 



o 
Chapter 



HOME OCCUPATIONS, 



CHAPTER I 



HOUSEKEEPING. 



T IS AN unfortunate fact that many girls when 
they marry, regard their future Hfe as a sort 
of perpetual holiday, in which ''Paul" shall 
always play the lover, and the wife have little 
to do, but enjoy herself. The young husband, 
likewise, starts out with the conviction that his 
wife is some sort of a frail butterfly, who should 
be fed upon roses and dew, or something of that nature. 
He has, likewise, a small income, ordinarily, and, discussing 
ways and means together, they conclude that the proper 
thing will be to board. In reality, only one thing more 
injudicious could be done, and that is, that they should 
settle down in the house of the parents of either of the 
contracting parties. The most judicious of all things that 
a newly married couple can do, is to go at once to house- 
keeping. There are several excellent reasons for this. 
First, if the young couple settle down in one house- 
or the other there is always every opportunity for each or both 
iies to express, with that charming frankness that exists in families, 
opinion of each and every act of the newly acquired relation. 
the assimilation of character between two people who are only just 




12 



QUEEN OF HOME. 




HOME OCCUPATIONS. 13 

learning to live together, is a difficult matter at best, but the young 
wife or husband needs no assistant in discovering the unsuspected 
failings and foibles of the other. When young people are engaged, 
they do not mean to be deceitful, and yet they unconsciously deceive 
each other, in a certain way, as they often wilfully deceive themselves. 
There is often little or nothing during an engagement, to arouse 
anything but a sentiment of affection. But when it comes to the 
stern realities of life — when it comes to making the most of a small 
income, with a thousand ways to spend it — that is what ''tries men's 
souls" (likewise women s). From discussions on the income question, 
it is safe to assert that nine-tenths of family troubles arise. Daily and 
hourly, outside of this, arise questions which require nice adjustment, 
and the fitting-in of one peculiar human organization with that of 
another, so that the two souls can live in the close intimacy of married 
life, needs to be a thing in which nobody but the parties concerned, 
has any part. It is utterly impossible for parents, if their children 
are still with them, even though married and practically from under 
parental control and authority, to give up the idea that it is their 
business in some way, to take a hand in this adjustment. Likewise, 
the children themselves, forget that they are now responsible only 
to themselves and each other, and thus complications arise which 
seldom, if ever, are adjusted without bitter feeling and heart-burning 
on, all sides. Next to this comes boarding in a boarding-house. 

While the young people are practically alone, the atmosphere 
of most boarding-houses is not that most conducive to the good of 
young wives. They frequently fall into such habits of idleness, gossip, 
and discontent, as it takes years to eradicate. They grow inert, 
and learn to hate trouble and all kinds of work, that is harder than 
embroidering a pair of slippers, or perhaps darning stockings. I do 
not say that it is necessarily so, I am merely stating the lamentable 
fact that it is so. Two or three years of this kind of life — especially 
if they change boarding-houses about twice a year, as is frequently 
the case — breeds discontent in both, and they then conclude, as the 
young husband has an increase in income, that it would be delightful 
to go to housekeeping, and the experiment is tried, and now comes 
the second reason for going to housekeeping at once upon marriage. 

Housekeeping sounds easy, and the husband and wife enter 
into their new quarters in all the flush of hope. It is so lovely and 
sweet and pretty to put up the dainty lace curtains in the parlor 
and the pretty lambrequins in the sitting-room ! and the husband 



14 QUEEN OF HOME. 

pictures to himself the pleasure it will be to him to c<^me in of a cold 
winter's night to his warm, bright little house, where the choice of 
his heart is waiting for him. And she, she poor thing! thinks what 
charming, dainty little suppers she will have ready when he shall 
arrive — what golden coffee, what juicy steaks, what flaky biscuits ! 
She knows she can do it all, because she has seen ''mother" do it a 
hundred times, and it is just as easy ! and besides, she has bought 
the best cook-book in the market, and it must be the simplest matter 
in the world to mix so many eggs with so much flour and sugar, and 
"bake it half an hour " into a lovely cake. 

And then Paul arrives to take his first meal in their own 
house. Poor fellow ! Anticipations of the juicy steak and the 
golden coffee and the flaky biscuits have quickened his steps, and 
his eye brightens and his heart beats more quickly as he pictures 
to himself the little wife dispensing the nectar from her side of the 
table. Alas ! and alas ! The steak is burned, the coffee smoky, 
the biscuits heavy, and she, poor child ! ready to sink with shame 
and despair. 

Now is the exact moment which requires most fortitude on the 
part of the young husband. If he can recognize the fact that his 
young wife, with all her failures, has been trying her very best to 
fulfill her part of the contract, all will go well. If he is still in the 
flush of the lover-hood of early married days, he can stand the strain 
on his stomach and nerves, with comparative equanimity, as he 
consoles himself with the thought, perhaps, that in a little while he'll 
make some excuse to go down town again, and will ''get something 
to eat," and thus keep her from feeling too bad over her failure. If^ 
however, the time has gone by for this sort of thing, and the first 
experiments of housekeeping come to them after the glamour of early 
married life has gone by, he is a remarkable man who can stand 
with imperturbable good-temper, the failures of the wife, and nothing 
short of imperturbable good-temper, on the part of the husband, will 
soothe the awful sense of defeat which a wife experiences, when her 
best efforts, her hard work, only prove the result a disastrous failure, 
and her time ill-spent. 

Again, too, the life which has been spent in a boarding-house for 
three or four years, or even one year, is one which, by its indolence, 
unfits a woman to take up housekeeping. She becomes discouraged 
with repeated failures, and soon grows discontented, and regrets that 
she ever relinquished the old life of ease. It is sufficiently difficult, 



HOME OCCUPATIONS. 15 

too, for a woman to learn to keep house for two — if there be three or 
four the task is more than doubled. 

Clearly, then, housekeeping is the proper way in which a young 
couple should set out in life. 

"But, I hate housekeeping," answers some young wife. Pardon 
me, please, but, if this be the case, you had no right to marry at all. 
A woman who ''hates" to do anything in her power to make a home 
for the man she professes to love, has no moral right in the world to 
impose upon him her companionship and the care of herself. And 
even if you do "hate" housekeeping naturally, you can learn to like 
it in the course of time, if you will only set your mind to it. The 
advice given by an old housekeeper to a daughter who was inclined 
to find fault with the monotony of every-day life, covers the ground. 

"The most homely and uninteresting task," said she, "could be 
made to assume an interest if you will only resolve to accomplish it, 
either within a certain time, or in the very best possible way." 

Try this plan when you are obliged by circumstances to perform 
some duty which you despise from the bottom of your soul, but do 
not imagine the meaning of the advice to be deeper than it really is. 
From a false sense of duty, or of economy, the inexperienced and 
zealous are often led to do work that is not only uncongenial, but 
absolutely distasteful, and physically unsuited to them. The mother 
merely meant that if there was anything that must be done, let it be 
done cheerfully. True economy, however, will often dictate relega- 
ting such work to the hands of others — whose livelihood it is — which 
will leave leisure for "keeping up with the world," somewhat after 
the fashion of girlhood's days, and will bring husband and wife much 
nearer together by allowing time and opportunity for intelligent dis- 
cussion on topics of general interest. 

We will now suppose that she has gone to housekeeping, and 
is battling with the great problem — the housekeeping itself 

One of the greatest difficulties a young wife will encounter, 
will be a multiplicity of counselors. All the aunts and cousins, all 
the old wives and young w^ves, will be ready with a word of advice 
here, a piece of wisdom there, till she is nearly distracted, and knows, 
if possible, even less than she did before they began. The result of 
all this will be that, she will either try to be too systematic, or will have 
no system at all. The one is as bad as the other. An unalterable 
system of housekeeping renders the housekeeper herself anything but 
happy, and keeps those around her wretched. The woman who washes 



i6 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



on Monday, no matter what the weather — because that is the day 
which she has set for wash-day — and is obHged to fxll her house with., 
the steam of drying clothes, does not only a very foolish thing, but a 
very wrong one. She makes the house damp, and predisposes the 
whole family to colds, besides making a very uncomfortable house. 
There can certainly be nothing more depressing to a man than to 
return to a house filled with the sight, odor and dampness of drying 
clothes. Surely she can shift her work so as to make it convenient to 
wash on a later day in the week, when it may be clear. A regular day 
for wash-day, ironing-day, etc., is assuredly necessary for the proper 
accomplishment of work, but let the laws which govern your house- 
hold not be so fixed as those of the Medes and Persians, lest, when 
compelled to break them, you are entirely disgruntled, or all the 
family is made wretched, in your desire to accomplish an impossibility. 




CHAPTER II. 



PLANNING THE WEEK S WORK. 



HOPE I have not been so unfortunate as to 

impress you with the idea that it was well to 

work without any plan. Indeed, no ! 1 only 

mean that it is well to make adjustable plans. 

Now, let us begin with Monday. You 

expect me, doubtless, to say in the language 

of the recipe book, ''on this day, wash," but 

on the contrary, I say that if you are wise, whatever 

other day may seem good to you as a wash-day, ''never 

select Monday as a regular wash-day." Why? Well, 

there are various reasons. 

First, the exercise is violent, and, after the greater 
repose of Sunday, is unadvisable from a physical point 
of view. 

Secondly, the house is always more or less in 
disorder after Sunday ; books and papers are around ; 
places that are brushed up usually each day, have been 
given "a good sweeping" on Saturday, so as to "last over Sunday;" 
the house needs a general putting to rights, and many articles of 
clothing, which have been taken off on Saturday or Sunday, require 
only a stitch or a button, which, if attended to before wash-day, will 
prevent a much greater loss of time in the mending, than if left until 
after they have been rubbed and ironed. 

In sorting the clothes over for the wash, the housekeeper has a 
much better opportunity of noting any tiny place where a "stitch in 
time would save nine," than she has after they are all smoothly ironed 
and folded down. Then, too, unless she remembers very well all 
the lacks she discovered when ironing, she must carefully unfold 
and as carefully refold every piece, so as to discover where all the 
stitches are needed, thus involving an unnecessary waste of time. 




i8 QUEEN OF HOME. 

One of the most important things the young housekeeper has to 
learn is to husband her time and strength to the very utmost. Every 
power is taxed, nervous force is needed at every turn, and it is only 
by the most judicious management of time, strength and temper 
that a woman can pass through ten or twenty years of household 
cares without growing, what it is customary to denominate, as, 
*' prematurely old." 

Take Monday, then, for odd jobs, and you will be able to attack 
Tuesday's washing without being haunted by the sense that the house 
needs putting to rights, and, that when the wash comes up, there 
will be **that huge pile of mending" to do. 

Now comes the dreaded *' wash-day." I'm not going to pretend 
to tell you how to wash: for, doubtless, each one and all of you 
consider that you have already the best method of soaking, soaping, 
boiling and drying clothes, and any advice I might have to offer, as 
to methods, would be ''declined with thanks." I only desire to offer 
such general suggestions and information as I hope may be of use 
to you, and applicable to your daily life and work, no matter what 
your present system may be. 

Nevertheless, I have a few words to offer on the subject of 
"wash-day." 

First, the majority of women who have a wash-day on hand, rise 
too early, and commence their work too soon. 'T rise at half-past 
four," announces some complacent housekeeper, "and I'm at my 
washing by five, and then I'm all through and cleaned up by ten or 
eleven o'clock." 

Granted, that it is a good thing to be "cleaned up" by eleven 
o'clock, is it necessary? It is not only not necessary, but it is 
injurious. It is physically injurious that a woman should rise at half- 
past four, and work at the wash-tub for two or three hours without 
eating, in order that she may be through at some given time, and 
any woman who does 'this herself, or permits a servant to do it, 
commits a wrong, the effects of which she will see in after years, if 
she knows enough to put her finger upon the origin of some failure 
of nerve-power, or lack of nervous force. 

It is necessary, of course, that the washing should be done well 
and quickly, but it is also necessary that we live. The work must 
be done in order that we may be comfortable — -let us be careful that 
we do not make ourselves and others ^/^comfortable, in order that 
the work may be done. 



HOME OCCUPATIONS. 19 

Many housekeepers, after successfully accomplishing a large 
week's wash, consider it economy of time to iron in the afternoon. 
This is all wrong. Keep the afternoon for lighter tasks, and above 
all try to lie down a little while every day. 

The early fading of married women is always a subject for com- 
ment among their dearest friends. Each particular friend has some 
very good cause to assign for it. But it is a question, whether, in 
many cases, it is not greatly the woman's own fault. 

Think, mothers, do you not do much unnecessary work ? I am 
not going into an elaborate discussion of the sewing question. 
Everybody knows that you all, or at least nine-tenths of you, sew 
much more than there is any necessity for. I am going to speak 
only of the sitting question. Now think carefully. Do you not 
stand to do many things about which you could as well sit, if you 
were only accustomed to it ? " O, but it looks so lazy ! " A fig for the 
way "it looks." Why should a woman stand to pare potatoes? 
I've seen women stand half the morning preparing vegetables. Ask 
them about it and what is their answer. "O, I don't know. I always 
stand. I am used to it. I can work better so." They have no 
business to be used to it. With all that a mother or a housekeeper 
must do, she has no moral right to strain her physical or nervous 
system by doing one thing that she is not obliged to do. Accustom 
yourself to sitting as much as possible while at work. Have a high 
chair, with a rest for the feet, made to fit your table and sink. It will 
not cost much, but it will save you many a back-ache, many a doctor's 
bill, many a season of regret over a cross word you have spoken 
under the strain of having "been on your feet all day." Plenty of 
women work in such a back-handed way that one wonders they 
can live. 

"I never lie down in the daytime," says some one decidedly and 
so self-righteously, that the poor little meek woman who has ventured 
the remark, feels quite criminal in ever having indulged in such a 
dissipation. 

It is not only right, but a woman's bounden duty to take all the 
rest she can get. If a mother can possibly find time to throw her- 
self down on the sofa for a few moments, she should do so. It is a 
necessity, and one that cannot with impunity be put aside. If baby 
is awake and you are afraid to leave him alone, put him and his play- 
things in a dry goods box, give him a quart of Indian meal and some 
little tin plates, or some other novel amusement, reserved for just 



20 QUEEN OF HOME. 

such emergencies, then seize five minutes, or even fifteen minutes 
rest, and you will go at your work again w^ith a renewed vigor. that 
will enable you to much more than make up for lost (?) time. 

Next comes ironing-day, and, while I am going to give no 
recipes, I would like to give the hint that one may achieve quite as 
good results with raw starch as with cooked, and the labor on wash-day 
will be considerably lightened thereby, without a corresponding 
increase of work upon ironing-day. It is only a question of having a 
good starch, and being careful to starch upon the wrong side. A little 
experience teaches the proper consistency of the starch-water. 

If clothes when hung upon the line are carefully shaken out, 
and when taken down and dampened for ironing, are carefully 
folded, the ironing is much facilitated, as many of the creases and 
wrinkles are thus smoothed out without the help of the iron. 

There are some things which should never be ironed at all : 
knit underwear, stockings and huckaback towels for instance. The 
former two are very apt to be ironed out of shape, and the elasticity 
destroyed ; and the last has its roughness destroyed by the smoothing- 
iron to that extent that its practical value is gone. All coarse towels 
that are intended for coarse towels should merely have their fringes 
well beaten out — or brushed out with a wire brush, which is an 
excellent article for the purpose — and then be folded down smoothly 
with the hand, while yet a little damp. 

Anything which is worn directly next to the skin should never 
be dried in the house, as articles so dried are apt to absorb vapors 
most injurious to the human body. I have known one instance where 
an epidemic skin-disease prevailed in a large institution, the cause of 
which was distinctly traceable to knit underwear, which had been 
improperly dried. 

Now, just while we are here, on the subject of housework, let 
me remark that many women unintentionally arrange their work so 
that they expend the greatest amount of nerve-force for the least 
result. In nothing is this more perceptible than in the arrangement 
of the work for the two days above mentioned. To cut out from 
daily work all that must be termed, for want of a better word, its 
romantic side, is to make a great mistake. "Washing is washing, 
and ironing is ironing," sniffs some hard-worked woman, "and if you 
can find any romance in the back-breaking work, I'd like to see it. 
Hard work is hard work, and if you try to make anything else of it, it 
makes slip-shod work." Now, /don't agree with you, honestly, I don't. 



HOME OCCUPATIONS. 21 

And I think that I can give you a few Httle points that may prove to 
you that, though I "make books," as the children say, I really know 
what I am talking about when speaking of housework. Now, then, 
for the wash-day and ironing-day question. Every one knows that 
in summer-time these two branches of housework are hot, disa- 
greeable, uncomfortable kinds of work, and it behooves each wom^an 
to do her best for herself in the matter of their arrangement. Why 
should a woman wash or iron in a hot, stuffy kitchen, perhaps not 
more than fourteen by twelve in dimensions, when in nine cases out of 
ten she can carry her work just outside the window? The sun broils 
down upon her head! Well, arrange matters so that it doesn't. 
A few yards — say ten — of dark cotton cloth can often be arranged 
so as to be the only protection needed from the heat of the sun. This 
having first been divided into three sections and sewed together, 
can be hung over the limbs of a tree, or upon a trellis, and can be 
shifted at will. Perhaps you have no trellis or tree. Well, then, put 
your ''woman's wit" to work, and drive a couple of nails or staples. 
Of course, I cannot see into all of your back yards, but I do know 
that woman's ingenuity, if applied in the proper direction, can work 
wonders in the way of lightening her labor. ''All nonsense!" Is it 
for a woman to try to make her work pleasant and something beside 
an "every-day grind?" Not by any means! Any work accomplished 
in the pleasantest way, leaves a greater fund of nervous strength to 
attack the next task. A woman in the country, out under the trees 
ironing, the fresh summer air all about her, the scent of the hay, 
the hum of the bees — her irons, meanwhile, heating on her coal-oil 
stove, for which she has contrived a sheltered place, and without 
which no woman should try to keep house, if it be possible to obtain 
one — that woman, I say, in her pleasanter thoughts and surround- 
ings, finds an inspiration to greater deeds ; and time, and the work 
ofttimes, slip by almost without knowing, and life seems much more 
worth living. 

There are many little contrivances, too, that are time and labor 
savers, and are well worth the trouble of preparing. Nothing is 
more useful, for instance, than a stout, ticking apron, with two large 
pockets. In one, go all the clothes-pins, in the other all the smaller 
articles of the wash. With both pockets full, the washer is equipped 
for hanging up quite a long line of clothes, and is never once 
necessitated to bend her back to pick up a clothes-pin or a pocket- 
handkerchief. When the wash is dry, as she removes the pins from 



22 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



the line, she has but to return them to the pocket from which she 
took them, and there they are, ready for the next wash-day. 

So, with ironing. A well-made iron-holder saves much expend- 
iture of time and temper. A stout bag to hold all the iron-stands, 
the holders, the wax and the cloths for rubbing the iron, with another 
bag made to fit the bosom board — to which it should be returned as 
soon as used, in order to keep it free from dust until next wanted — 
are invaluable, if each has its appropriate nail, and is hung thereon 
when not in use. 

The irons should be kept in a dry, clean place when not in use, 
and carefully protected from any suspicion of rust, or dirt. Much 
time is sometimes saved, especially in winter-time, if they are placed 
on the back of the stove over night. The irons are thus partially 
heated, not at all to their detriment, and much to the satisfaction 
of the housekeeper, for whom their heating at short notice, is much 
facilitated. 

Finally — every article or. utensil that has anything to do with 
either wash-day or ironing-day, should be in good order before it is 
put away, and so placed and treated meanwhile, that it will be ready 
for instant use when wanted the next time. 




CHAPTER III. 



BAKING-DAY. 



MONG the more laborious parts of housework, 
none is, perhaps, as interesting as baking. It is 
full of such delightful possibilities and surprises 
(sometimes, however, the latter are anything 
but pleasant), there is such an infinite variety 
of things to be constructed out of precisely the 
same materials, that one grows interested in 
spite of oneself. 
X. has always been a wise move on the part of 
mothers that the first thing they teach their daughters to 
cook, is a cake. There is such an air of romantic mterest 
about a cake, that the little girl puts into it all her powers 
of observation and comprehension. And it has always 
seemed a pity to me that litde girls were not taught to 
sew, in the same pleasant way. My heart has gone out in 
pity and sympathy towards litde girls whom I have 
seen sitting on a hard stool sewing a ''sdnt" of sheet, when the litde 
creatures might just as well have had something pretty to se^v^ or, 
at least the finishing of the article might have presented some hope 
to them beyond that of rejoicing when the long seam is completed. 
Why could they not just as well learn to sew upon a dress for dolly, 
or at least an apron for themselves, instead of a long seam of 
sheeting, which represents to them only despair? 

But to return to baking-day. There is nothing in this wide 
world more conducive to crood digestion, and, consequently, good 
temper, than good bread. Wastry we can do without, but bread is a 
necessity, and it should be a woman's first duty as housekeeper to 
learn to make good bread. There are many varieties of this article, 
even in its best form, and each family prefers its own kind ; but let 
the bread be scalded or unscalded, with or without shortening, with or 




24 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



without milk, it should be the very best of its kind. When possible, 
in order to save time and fire, bake your bread on ironing-day. This 
can be done with comparatively little extra trouble, and you are 
making use, likewise, of the hot oven that would otherwise be wasted. 
Shall we eat pie? That seems to be a question that periodically 
arises for discussion, but it always seems to subside without either of 
the contesting sides being one whit convinced. 




But whether we shall or should eat pie, we do eat pie, and, while 
we do so, it is far better that they should be made at home, than that 
we should depend on the neighboring baker's shop for them. Shall 
we eat them hot or cold? This Is a question which again divides the 
ranks of those In favor of pie. 

That, it seems to me, Is a matter for personal decision. To some, 
cold pie Is far more indigestible than hot pie, but, then, that Is merely 
a question of physical and personal characteristic. Each family must 
decide this question for itself; but If hot pie Is the order of the day, 
it can be had with very little extra trouble. 



HOME OCCUPATIONS. 25 

The housekeeper has but to rub up sufficient flour, shortening, 
and salt, in whatever proportions she uses, for, say about one dozen 
pies, or more, if the family is sufficiently large. This can be shut up 
in a tight tin box, and kept until used. It is in condition, only to 
need wetting with cold water, and a pie can be made at very short 
notice. It will be found a great convenience to have this material 
on hand, as it is the preparation of the first material that takes the 
time and utensils. 

It is quite customary in many families to make some "plain 
cakes for the children between times." This is a great mistake. It 
takes the mother's time, and is a bad thing for the children. Children 
should not at any time be allowed to go hungry, but the test between 
genuine himger and a desire for something to eat will lie in plain 
bread. The child who will eat plain bread between meals does so 
because he is really hungry^ and will seldom eat enough of it to 
destroy his appetite for the next regular meal. Many a mother has 
ruined her children's digestion by feeding them on bread and butter, 
cake, or bread and molasses, between meals. It is a very easy matter 
to get up an artificial appetite for something savory, but the craving 
that is satisfied with plain bread, is induced by real hunger, and it 
should always be satisfied, no matter how often through the day it 
recurs. 

Make cake or cakes, then, as often as you feel it proper to do 
so, to be used as adjuncts to a meal, but do not add to the burdens 
of baking-day by making "a batch of plain cakes for the children to 
nibble at." 

There is every opportunity for economy or extravagance in the 
method of conducting an ordinary baking. In some kitchens the 
flour may be seen scattered in every direction, a stream strewn from 
the barrel to the table, the shortening is left sticking to the cup, 
pieces of dough are left adhering to the baking-board, and cake 
material is carelessly allowed to remain in the vessel in which it has 
been mixed. 

This is all wasteful, to say nothing of its being untidy, and 
involving twice the trouble in clearing up. 

I will not insult you by repeating to you the old story of the 
young man who said that his horse fed only upon pie-board scrapings, 
but there is a good deal in that old story for all. 

Never tr}^ to carry an over-full cup of flour from one place to 
another. It is just as easily and much more sadsfactorily emptied 



26 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



into a larger vessel at once. Experience will teach the baker to use 
up every bit of the dough already constructed, and, when it comes 
time to wash the vessels, which have been in use, there is, as there 
should be, but little left to wash away. 

Among the articles which every baker should have, are a long, 
thin-bladed knife, which will bend easily, and a baking-cloth. 

Now, when I say 
" baking-cloth, " I don ' t 
mean just any rag you 
happen to pick up for 
the purpose, but I 
mean a regularly 
made baking-cloth. 
This should consist 
of two squares, made 
as follows: Take two 
pieces of ticking, four- 
teen inches long, by 
twelve inches broad. 
Between these lay 
one layer of sheet 
V '"^ wadding, and then 
over - seam them all 
around. Make two 
1^^ of these thin pads, 
^"^ and fasten them to- 
1 gether with two tapes 

" about ten inches long. 

In this way yo'u have an invaluable 
adjunct to your baking conveniences. 
' It is well to have several of these for 

every-day use, as they are exceedingly useful 
for handling pots and kettles and pans, or 
anything else that is hot. Always, however, 
keep one entirely set apart for baking-day pur- 
poses. There should be nails innumerable all around the kitchen on 
which different articles may be hung, and one should be put up near 
the stove, and be devoted exclusively to these pads. There is nothing 
more comforting in doing one's daily work, than to know exactly where 
to put one's hand on some particular article. 




w^m 




HOME OCCUPATIONS. 



27 



Now sisters, who read this article — and if those who do not 
read it would do the same thing, it would be well for them — take 
account of your baking-day processes, and see if you do not do much 
more baking than is consistent with the good digestion of your family, 
or your own health, and having made up your mind wherein you can 
reduce that day's work, talk the matter'over with your husbands, and 
see if they do not very sensibly and kindly agree to do with less fresh 
bread and fewer pies and cakes, if it will give you immunity from 
extra work. If he does not, of course there is nothing left but to 
continue in the old way, using all manner of devices for reduction of 
labor, but if he does fall in with one of the good reforms of the 
present day, which tends toward less material and more mental food, 
by all means grasp the opportunity and reduce your baking-day work 
to its minimum. 




CHAPTER IV. 



SWEEPING AND DUSTING. 



WEEPING-DAY! What Is the first thing, I 

wonder, that you do when you prepare for 

sweeping-day? Well, I'll not ask you to confide 

in me, but I will tell you that some people, the 

moment they make up their minds, that, in the 

natural order of things, sweeping-day has come 

round, proceed to make themselves as hideous 

as possible. An old dress is put on — and where they 

ever resurrected such a marvel of rags and dirt is 

a perfect mystery to the uninitiated — the collar is 

taken off, the head is tied up in an old cloth, and 

then they — sweep. And such a process as it is, half the 

time. The dust and the children fly simultaneously, 

and woe to the man or child that appears while the 

awful ceremony is going on. 

Tell me, please, why do you sweep? Because it 
is sweeping-day. 
There ! I thought you would say that. Do you know that is a 
great mistake? This is another point on which housekeepers lay 
down a law, and keep it regardless of cost. Sweeping-day was 
originally — shall I say invented or discovered? Attended, perhaps, 
is a better word. Sweeping-day, then, was originally intended as a 
day for cleaning, but, like many another custom, it has been abused 
and perverted, till one would almost imagine that sweeping-day was 
the religious observance of some sacred rite, so strictly are its 
ceremonies kept, spite of all things. Now, sweeping, as was before 
observed, was intended as a process of cleajiing, but there are many 
housekeepers who wear themselves out, and lose time and temper, 
by sweeping the house from top to bottom when sweeping-day 
arrives, utterly regardless of the fact that some of the rooms have 




HOME OCCUPATIONS. 



29 



hardly been opened since the last ceremony was observed. Rugs 
are shaken, the floors are swept, swept, swept ; everything is 
dusted, the doors and windows are closed, and there the guest- 
chamber is left until next week, w^hen the same process is repeated. 
Indeed, I have known two women, one of whom regularly took up 




her bed-room carpet every month, had her floor scrubbed, the carpet 
shaken and put down, and the paint regularly cleaned. The other 
took up the carpet in the guest-chamber every week, wiped the floor, 
and again nailed down the carpet. (This latter woman, however, 



30 QUEEN OF HOME. 

was demented on the subject of housework, as was afterwards dis- 
covered.) The former one, every Saturday, hired a woman to clean 
the windows of that same bed-room, and such a splashing and a 
sputtering as went on during the process. It was almost impossible 
to pass by the house without being drenched. (Of this method of 
washing windows I shall speak later.) This poor creature, however, 
lived in a boarding-house, and had no other outlet for suppressed 
energ^\ It was amusing to see with what an air of self-complacency 
and conscious virtue, she would relate her exceeding nicety (?) and 
tell, as well, how she never allowed anything to rumple her bed in 
any way, after it was once made for the day. She used to relate 
with pride, how she sat bolt upright in a straight-backed chair, all the 
long summer afternoon, although, to quote her own words, she ''was 
half dead for a nap," because it took her from a half to three-quarters 
of an hour per day to make her bed to her own satisfaction, and she 
could not afford to do it twice a day, and her husband could not afford 
to buy the forty-dollar lounge, which was the only kind she would 
have. Some one suggested that she should take a pillow and lie on 
the floor, but she said her pillow-cases were too handsome. So, here 
was this woman, daily, hourly, sacrificing herself and all around her, 
to her false idea of cleanliness and nicety. 

Instead, however, of impressing her friends with her worth, she 
only succeeded in impressing them with her utter absurdity. 

As the object of sweeping is primarily to clean, conversely one 
must presuppose dirt to be swept, and don't sweep unless there is 
dirt. The spare bed-room, the attics or any other rooms that are 
not in daily use, do not need the weekly sweeping. They should be 
examined with a critical eye, and should always be in order, but very 
often little or nothing is needed for two or three weeks, but the 
judicious application of a dampened dust-cloth. Now, then, for the 
process of sweeping. Firstly — doitt put on your oldest dress, and 
tie your head up in a cloth. It is perfectly possible to sweep in your 
ordinary house-dress of print, or whatever you wear in the morning, 
without detriment to your garb. Have made or make a sweeping- 
cap of some becoming shade of chintz, or perhaps of white muslin, 
which IS easily washed, and a large bib-apron with ample pockets. 
These pockets will be of immense use as a place to put various stray 
articles which you will come across, no matter how good a house- 
keeper you are, nor how neat you keep your every-day house. 

Now you are equipped, what then ? Then sweep ? By no 



HOME OCCUPATIONS. 



31 



means! Then dust. "What! dust, before I sweep?" Yes, dust 
before you sweep. Dust every article that is small enough and carry 
it out of the room. Take every chair, every table, every stool that 
can be moved. By this process, all the dust which would fall upon 
the furniture during the process of sweeping, never reaches the fur- 
niture at all, and the saving in wear and tear is proportionate. Much 
useless scratching of the furni- 
ture is saved, and there has no 
unnecessary amount of dust 
settled into the crevices of the 
stuff coverings. Having care- 
fully removed all portable arti- 
cles, and as carefully covered 
up the rest, which are obliged 
to remain, get a bucket of clean 
warm water — which you have 
been careful to set upon a piece 
of oil-cloth brought in for the 
purpose — and, having rolled all 
the remaining furniture into the 
middle of the room, go down 
on your knees, dampen your 
whisk in the warm water and 
brush out all the corners, as 
well as all the edges of the 
carpet, for a space of about one 
foot. It is utterly impossible 
for the best sweeper in the 
world to sweep a corner clean, 
with an ordinary broom. Every 
few moments wash your whisk 
out in the bucket of water, 
shaking it quite dry each time 
until it is only damp. There are two objects in this : first, it takes the 
dirt up better, and second, it puts into the pail much of the dust that 
would otherwise only have distributed itself all over the room, and 
thus involve the housekeeper in extra work. Having so much accom- 
plished, you are ready to begin. It would be useless to try to say 
anything about the actual process of sweeping, as doubtless each 
housekeeper who reads this, has her own peculiar way of holding 




32 QUEEN OF HOME. 

her broom, etc. I have but one hint to give. If there be a breeze 
in the room, however sHght, always sweep with the wind and not 
against it. 

As I am a thorough beHever in all labor saving machinery and 
inventions, let me remark just here that if you have not a patent 
dust-pan, into which you can sweep the refuse with a broom, and 
without bending your back one inch, purchase one by all means, at 
your very earliest opportunity. With a patent sweeper and a dust-pan 
which you can hold in place with the toe of your foot, the labor 
of sweeping-day is greatly diminished and the work much facilitated. 

All dusting should be done with a damp cloth. It is amusing to 
see an old housekeeper, who "knows it all," dust vigorously with a 
dry cloth, shake it out the window (when about half of it blows back 
to settle again in some new place) and then proceed to disturb some 
more dust with the same dry cloth. A damp cloth should be used 
every time and it should be frequently washed out during the process. 
By this means the dust is really caught, and is not merely shifted 
to another place. 

Above all things, never use a feather duster. A feather duster 
or brush should have no part in the household economy. They are 
the invention of some evil-minded person to delude the innocent house- 
keeper into the belief that she is busy, or at least doing something, 
when she is flirting the dust from one place only to permit it to settle 
in another. 

Many people brush the paint and wood-work of a room, during 
a regular sweeping. Let me assure you that this does not pay. The 
wood-work should be wiped with a damp cloth in the same way as is 
the furniture, and for the same reason. 

Stair carpets are proverbial for the amount of dust they col- 
lect. If, after the usual process of sweeping, you will wipe them with 
a damp cloth, I feel sure that you will be paid for your trouble, 
in the satisfactory result. When entirely done, wash your broom 
thoroughly in hot water (which softens the broom-corns) shake it out 
well, and hang it up to dry. By this means your broom will keep a 
much better shape and will last much longer. There is nothing more 
detrimental to a broom, after hard usage, than standing in the corner. 
There should always be a nail upon which to hang the brooms. 

The brooms hung up, the dust-pan in its proper place, the dust- 
cloths thoroughly washed out and hung out to dry, against next 
sweeping day, we may consider the process fairly accomplished. 



CHAPTER V. 



MARKETING. 



ARRETING is perhaps one of the greatest 
difficuhies with which the newly-made 
housekeeper must contend. 

This trouble arises from two distinct 
causes. One — the fact that in the major- 
ity of cases the young women are left to 
gain at their husband's expense their ex- 
perience in this line of purchases. 

They have been taught absolutely nothing about 
making proper purchases, or the relative values and 
nutritive qualities of different articles of diet. And 
in this way often dire mistakes are made, money is use- 
lessly expended, temper comes to the fore, tears are 
shed and general discomfort attains. 

Whether Mrs. Rorer's late lecture on the cutting 
of meat, is exactly what is needed, remains to be seen ; 
but that it is a step, or even perhaps a stride, in the 
right direction, is undoubtedly true. One of the subjects about which 
most young house-keepers are lamentably ignorant, is the different 
qualities and cuts of meat of various kinds. Is it not in " Mrs. 
Jernyngham's Journal," that the young housekeeper is made to say, 
in reply to the rather contemptuous remark of her cook, about its 
being no season for a leg of lamb. '' No lamb ? O well, then get a 
leg of beef." Fancy ! a leg of beef for ^wo. And yet this was not such 
a great exaggeration. There are many girls who are quite as ignorant. 
Would it not be well for mothers to accustom their daughters to 
know the different cuts of meat ? While the daughter is yet a little 
girl, why not take her to the butcher's shop and teach her the differ- 
ence between mutton chops and veal cutlets, just as one would teach 
her the difference between potatoes and apples? Why not take her 




•34 



OUEEN OF HOME. 



marketing and teach her the difference between well cut meat and a 
'* scraggy " piece ? 

All this knowledge is so easily gained by almost imperceptible 
steps in childhood, that it seems a pity to buy it in after life (when 
one has so much else to do and has need of all the "ready-made" 
knowledge and experience one can command) with big butcher's bills, 
poor meat and uncomfortable dinners. 

A second and very prolific source of unpleasant discussion, is the 
fact that but faw women have actual money to handle in any quantity. 

There is kept at "the 
butcher s, the baker's, the 
candle-stick maker's," a 
running account which the 
husband settles per week, 
or per month, as may be 
the case. This account he 
audits, and not taking into 
consideration the inexper- 
ience of his wife as house- 
keeper, often feels himself 
aggrieved at the quality, 
quantity, or expense of the 
purchases, while she, hav- 
ing no actual money in 
hand, has very little oppor- 
tunity to learn its real, 
practical value, and con- 
tinues to purchase, per- 
haps, that which suits her 
convenience, settling it in 
her mind, after several of 
these matrimonial tiffs (she, in the intervals, having striven honestly, 
to do her best as far as her lights went) that it really makes little dif- 
ference what she buys, — "There is aWays the same fuss" — pnd she 
finally learns to expect the "fuss" and grows indifferent to that 
which at first filled her with real compunction. 

Or, if she be an experienced and economical housekeeper, as is 
frequently the case, she is vastly hampered by the want of ready 
means. Often she might buy at her door, at a much less rate, that 
for which she must go to the store, This is sheer waste of time. 




HOME OCCUPATIONS. 



35 



Again, if out doing her marketing, she must purchase everything of the 
dealers with whom she has the running account, and these dealers 
knowing this, take advantage frequently, of the fact that she can't help 
herself, and charge accordingly. This is hardly unreasonable on their 
parts, in a way, when one reflects that the merchant must wait for 
themoney of this class of purchasers, where with others, he obtains 
immediate payment for all articles sold. 

There is only one thing 
more injudicious than keep- 
ing a running account at a 
marketing place, that is 
furnishing a house on the 
installment plan. That is 
the most egregious of all 
mistakes for a young couple 
to make when setting out to 
build a nest for themselves. 

But to return to the 
income question. A man's 
income may be small, but 
unless it was such that two 
could live on it, he and his 
wife should have waited a 
little longer before they 
united their fortunes — or 
rather, their poverty. There 
is a fallacy among sanguine 
lovers, that an income which 
has heretofore been almost 
insufficient for one will suf- 
fice amply for two, or at 
least, they ''will get along 
some^o^si'' and it generally proves to be '' so7ne-\\o^My' indeed. 

Do not understand me to be preaching ''marrying a fortune," 
I am only preaching prudence. It is a woman's duty and privilege 
to help make the family fortune by her thrift, care and forethought, 
but if, from his income or wages, a man, either from want of inclin- 
ation or want of money, has been unable to save anything, from 
what can the wife hope to obtain her support at his hands ? If he will 
■not save, let a woman be careful how she trusts her welfare in his 




OUEEN OF HOME. 




HOUSEHOLD ACCOUNTS. 



HOME OCCUPATIONS. 2>7 

hands, under the delusive promises that when she is once his wife, 
she shall handle the money and save it, and make a rich man of him. 
Some men have placed their financial affairs, when they felt them- 
selves incompetent, in the hands of their wives, whom they felt to 
be able to administer those affairs judiciously. But the cases are 
rare, and it will generally be found that the man least capable of 
taking care of his own money, is the very man who is most deter- 
mined that he alone shall handle it, and the experiment of tying her- 
self to such a man, is always a dangerous one upon the part of the 
young woman. 

But if a man has the handling of his own income, be it little or 
much, it does not take a philosopher to tell him, that ten cents this 
week is ten cents next week. It is as easy to pay fifty cents this 
week for coal-oil, which he will use next week, as to pay fifty cents 
for that which he has used last week. Nay ! I think it is easier and 
certainly much more satisfaction. "But suppose" cries some per- 
plexed one, ''that we are just getting along, and very little more comes 
in each week than will settle the bills of the week before — suppose 
we have always done this way — how are we ever to catch up?" 

The matter is a simple one, though it will take time and 
patience and very close calculation. Believe me, however, the world 
is willing, most times, to help its struggling brother and sister. Go 
to these people to whom you owe last week's bill and say to them 
frankly "we are going to try a nev/plan. We are going to pay cash 
for everything. Now we will pay you cash hereafter for everything 
we buy, and from time to time we will pay you something on your 
past bill." You will find them mainly reasonable and willing to help 
you in your plan. As soon as this system is established in the house- 
hold, you will find that from week to week, the "very little left over" 
will increase by small but perceptible degrees, for the reasons before 
stated, and the burden of debt, so abhorrent to a sensitive soul, 
gradually will be lifted till at last you find yourself in that blessed 
region, "out of debt." 

But the wife should have in her own hand the money that is 
to be spent. The husband should have nothing whatever to do ' 
with the financiering of the household. What is it to him whether 
his wife pays thirty-two cents per pound for butter this week, or ten 
cents for sugar last week ? Why should he burden his mind, already 
so full of important items of business, with the prices of soap and 
starch ? And yet if he does not make a point of knowing how the 



38 QUEEN OF HOME. 

market is, he surely is no more fit to market than the woman who 
knows nothing. No, the wife should learn from somebody (her hus- 
band if he is patient and capable of teaching), the proper method of 
spending the money for the house-expenses, and having learned, 
her husband should dismiss all the petty and annoying details from 
his mind and leave it free for weightier financiering. It is the dis- 
cussing of all these petty household matters, with which the wife 
alone should battle, that often makes home-life a weariness to a man 
and a burden to his wife. Suppose for instance she asks for five 
cents for a spool of cotton. The next day she wants exactly the 
same thing. Surprise on the part of the husband and the remark 
that he thought she bought one yesterday. Then must follow an elab- 
orate explanation on the part of the wafe as to how^ when she was 
talking to a neighbor about pickling cucumbers, and just as the 
neighbor reached the most interesting point, the baby picked up the 
spool and threw it into the fire ; a half an hour is misspent^ — and 
often much ill-feeling engendered — in talking over a subject that need 
never even have been mentioned ; when the time might have been 
spent much more profitably in some other way. If the young woman 
had the money in her own hands, she would never think of the inci- 
dent of the spool of cotton a second time. She would simply repair 
her loss and accept her fate, and, if exceedingly pinched, would save 
the five cents in some other way and that would end the matter. 
The husband would not be obliged to ask irritating questions, nor 
to listen to voluminous, annoying explanations, and serenity would 
be preserv^ed all around. 

Let us suppose then, my lady, that you have the handling of your 
part of the finances absolutely in your own hands. Whether you are 
wealthy or poor, you should do the marketing yourself. No one is 
so well qualified to do this, as a competent mistress of a household, 
and if you feel that you are not competent, labor to make yourself so, 
as speedily as possible. A woman's duty to her husband is to 
learn to spend wisely and well, the money he earns. If ill health or 
any other positive necessity, interferes with your doing your own 
marketing, require a strict account of all money entrusted to be 
spent by a servant, no matter how valued that servant may be. All 
this can be done in the nicest, most inoffensive way, and the failure 
to make such a requisition, has often proved a temptation too strong 
for a weak nature which might otherwise have never been tempted 
to misappropriation. Often too, dealers will sell to an ignorant 



HOME OCCUPATIONS. 



39 



servant, articles which they would not think of selling to an intelli- 
gent mistress. 




At first you will have many struggles to make your income 
meet your outgo. You will start out each week with the heroic 
resolution to make your expenses come considerably inside of the 
limit of your money in hand, and each week you will be filled with dis- 



40 QUEEN OF HOME. 

may, to see your money melt in your hands like snow ; and at the end 
of the week, you will have spent everything in hand and maybe thankful 
if you have not over-run your account by contracting a bill somewhere. 
But take courage ! Experience will come to you, young housekeeper, 
and as the months roll by, you will be amazed to find how many com- 
forts, and even luxuries, may be provided with the same sum of money 
which was in the beginning, so insufficient for bare necessities, even. 

Some one will tell you, perhaps, that the proper solution of your 
difficulties, will be to divide your necessities into ''can haves" and 
''nntst haves," obtaining the ''must haves" first, and allowing the 
"can haves" to wait until a more propitious time. But it seems to 
me that much more to the point is the remark of a young woman 
who has ^tFuggled hard to keep her head above water on a starvation 
income. ''I have found" says she ''it is not so much what I ;7^?/^^have 
in this world as what I can have — not so much what I can do, as what 
I must do, for by a long experience, I find that I can do whatever 
I must — that what I can 7iot have, I can and must do without." 

When marketing, deal with such men as you feel are reliable, 
but even in dealing with these, look carefully that you are well served, 
for very often a careless or overburdened clerk will make a gross 
mistake, either as to quantity or quality — or perhaps even in the 
change he gives you— which would be a great annoyance and mor- 
tification to an upright proprietor. 

Learn, too, the best places to buy certain articles of food. It is 
a noted fact that all dealers have some specialty. Merely because a 
man is a butcher by trade, and an upright man, do not fancy that 
everything in his shop is of first quality. One butcher has specially 
nice mutton always on hand, another particularly fine beef-steaks, 
while the general run of their meat is, perhaps, pretty much the same. 
Why then buy your mutton of the man who keeps the exceptional 
beef-steaks, or the beef-steaks of the man who excels in mutton ? 

The cutting up of a quarter of beef does not seem to you, per- 
haps, a matter of much moment, and yet in the peculiar cut, lies the 
butcher's success. Two men may stand side by side, each taking a 
quarter from the same bullock, and after they have finished, the 
resultant pieces will be entirely different. A few inches to the right 
or left, across the grain here, with the grain there, produces the 

most astonishing results. "Where is Mr. ?" asked a purchaser 

once of a butcher, "he always cuts me the most delicious steaks." 
"Yes," replied the butcher with a sigh, "he's sick and I do miss him 



HOME OCCUPATIONS. 41 

terrible. I never had a man in my shop that could handle a quarter 
of beef equal to him. He makes the very most of it, and no waste 
pieces. All is good meat that comes from under his knife. The 
fellow that I've got in now, uses up more stuff and makes poorer 
meat than anybody I ever saw." 

The moral of all this is, go where you are best served. 

Vegetables and fruit should always be fresh when bought. By 
''fresh" I do not mean immediately out of the garden — though that 
of course adds much to their flavor — but they should be free from all 
suspicion of staleness. By using stale fruit or vegetables, many an 
illness has been engendered and many a death has been unwittingly 
caused. A housekeeper can very often purchase "at a bargain" a 
quantity of berries, plums, cherries, etc., which the merchant is afraid 
will not "keep." There is no objection to her doing this, but they 
should not be put into use raw — they should be cooked at once, 
either by canning or preserving, and be laid away for future use. 
The cooking entirely destroys all the harmful properties of the other- 
wise pernicious article of diet. 

There are certain vegetables, and fruits too, which never grow stale, 
and so long as absolute rot does not set in, are available as articles 
of diet. Apples, pears, potatoes, parsnips, beets, etc., may be kept 
any length of time without impairing their value, so long as they are 
devoid of defect. Such articles as these it is well to buy by the quan- 
tity — by the basket at least — as by that means much unnecessary 
expense is saved. It is but right that the grocer should be paid for 
handling each half-peck of potatoes, but if you buy them by the bushel, 
you save the price of their handling, by handling them yourself. 

Sometimes, too, you may be on very good terms with your 
neighbor, or your mother may live next door. You can save much 
by contracting with each other for a half-basket of something, of 
which neither wants the whole. I can illustrate this by one instance. 
Two young housekeepers of my acquaintance used to market for 
each other alternate days in the week, each knowing the tastes of 
the other. Everything was purchased at commission houses in the 
quantity and much labor and expense saved to both. 

But supposing that the question of finances has been satisfactorily 
settled between the young couple, and that the young housekeeper 
is moderately experienced in household matters before assuming the 
care of her own house, there is yet another great difficulty to be 
met — the harrowing question, "what shall we have?" 



42 



OUEEN OF HOME. 




HOME OCCUPATIONS. 43 

''Paul," says Virginia, "what would you like for dinner?" 
Now Paul, who has, perhaps, just laid in a goodly store of 
fairly well cooked material, is about as unfitted to answer this 
question, as a man could well be. He really, at that precise moment, 
"would like" nothing more, as his capacity has been pretty well 
tested already, and he finds it an exceedingly difficult matter, just 
after he has completed his third round of buttered toast, with eggs 
and ham and coffee to match, to make up his mind as to just what 
his desires will be, when the next meal comes around in its turn. 
Consequently, Paul is indifferent at the time, and probably replies: 
"O, anything will do! Get what you like." And poor, confiding, 
uninitiated Virginia, not having as yet had proper experience in the 
wide discrepancy between a man's appetite as measured directly 
after breakfast, and again just before dinner, thinking that he means 
what he says — and he honestly does at the time — innocently takes 
him at his word. And Paul, having whetted an already sharpened 
appetite, by visions of a "good dinner" as he interprets it, returns 
to find that Virginia has taken him literally, and has provided what 
she "likes," without any reference to the fact that he abominates 
boiled mutton, and has only loathing for parsnips. But, being a 
gentleman — and a very hungry gentleman at that — he tries to swallow 
his prejudices and the mutton at the same moment, and endeavors 
meanwhile to look cheerful. But circumstances are against him, and 
hunger cries aloud within him. Virginia sees that there is "some- 
thing wrong," but does not know what. She perceives that her lord 
does not take pleasure in the "lovely little dinner" she has worked 
so hard to have " exactly right, " and her soul is rent with fearful 
misgivings. Being a brave, sensible little woman, she says nothing 
about it, and seems to notice nothing ; but there is a cloud, and her 
appetite is gone. Paul is hungry and reticent — Virginia is hungry 
(though she does not know it) and disturbed, and all because Paul 
did not know in the morning, after a good breakfast, that he did 7iot 
want mutton and parsnips at night. Being necessarily economical, 
the hated mutton is "reproduced" the next morning for breakfast. 
This Paul succeeds in washing down with several cups of hot coffee, 
and really does pretty well. But still, Virginia is unsuspicious that 
it was the mutton and parsnips which preyed on his mind the night 
before, and the fatal experiment will be repeated at no very distant 
date, unless a kindly fate interferes. 

Now, as we are all so constructed that there are some things to 



44 QUEEN OF HOME. 

which we have a positive aversion — others, for which we entertain 
only mild dislike or indifference — again others that absolutely do not 
agree with us — and yet a fourth class which we favor very highly — 
the best plan is for the young wife to find out as early as possible 
the various tastes with which her husband is afflicted, for an affliction 
it certainly is to possess violent dislikes and likes for certain kinds 
of food. Nevertheless, they must be respected, and the young wife's 
best hold is to find out as soon as possible, so that she may have 
something to go upon as a guide. It would be well for the husband 
to learn to like certain articles of food, for which he has now only 
indifference. That this can be done, is proved by the fact that wives 
eat daily, articles for which they have little taste. This they do 
because suiting both palates would involve labor and expense which 
they are not prepared to meet. Finally, with constant practice, taste 
changes, and the unpleasant articles become actually palatable. 
Every article of food which a husband learns to like, adds just so 
much to the ease with which a young woman can look after her 
household. Because, many men's tastes being exceedingly limited, 
it is very difficult to gratify them, and still have a pleasing variety, 
and at the same time keep within a limited income. 

Let us suppose, then, that our wise little woman has, early in, 
her married experience, learned to a reasonable degree her husband's 
tastes in regard to diet, and has made up her mind just about what 
she has to live on. Her next step will be to think seriously of the 
ordering of her larder. Eggs are cheap, perhaps, and easily prepared, 
but the most patient man becomes irritable and depressed if treated 
to them too often. 

The very best way will be to lay out in her mind a regular 
programme for daily provisions. Being inexperienced, let her try 
one week first. Let her begin with the dinners. These she can 
probably fill out as intended. Then let her add a programme for a 
week's breakfasts. This she will probably be obliged to modify, 
because there will be something unexpectedly "left over," which she 
will feel the necessity of "using up." But, then, she can make a 
general plan, which she will find to be a great help. She will in time 
learn her own needs and possibilities, and will soon find that having 
the meals "thought out" several days beforehand is a great relief. 
It will often happen, perhaps, that the day she has laid out for roast 
beef and apple pie, will prove to be the one, for some unforeseen 
circumstance, upon which she must have stewed veal and cottage 



HOME OCCUPATIONS. 



45 




WAITING. 



46 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



pudding; but then, what of that? The regulations should be merely 
general ones, so that they can be readily adjusted, or readjusted, to 
existing circumstances without any serious discomfort or discomposure 
to the housekeeper. 

One of the best things that has been devised for young house- 
keepers, is a book of programmes, which has lately been gotten out 
by a practical housekeeper. In it are three times three hundred and 
sixty-five good, practical meals, while further over are recipes for 
every dish which she puts upon her bill of fare. It should be called, 
''Providing Made Easy:" for it certainly is a departure in that line. 




CHAPTER VI. 



MOVING AND HOUSE-CLEANING. 



EFORE closing this section of the volume, I can- 
not refrain from a few words on the subject of 
moving and house-cleaning, for certainly they 
may be classed in the same category of house- 
hold disagreeables and mentioned in connection, 
one being but an exaggeration of the other. 

Many and poor are the jokes made upon 
these dread topics, and perhaps either or both 
may have a comic side, but the tired, unnerved 
mover or house-cleaner fails to see it. Some people, 
others laughingly declare, move every spring to avoid 
cleaning house. Well, in truth, a regular moving could 
not produce more of a revolution in some households 
than does the ''spring cleaning." 

How do they begin ? Let us see ! First, every room 
is turned topsy-turvy "from attic to cellar," and every 
carpet is taken up. The furniture is all left awry because 
"it will only have to be moved out again when the car- 
pets are put down." Bedsteads are taken to pieces and 
put out in the yard, and the extra china packed in a tub, 
which is set in the front hall for everybody to stumble over, until 
wanted again. It is so much more convenient to clean an empty 
room than a full one, that every available object is set in the halls, 
until the rooms are again in process of being made habitable. 

The house having been reduced to chaos, and the programme 
for meals having been reduced to a minimum of quantity and a 
maximum of discomfort, the process of cleaning begins. With 
swishing of water and scrubbing of brushes, and breaking of backs 
and aching of limbs, "order is brought out of chaos" within the 
prescribed "cleaning week" — but, deliver us! such a week! 




48 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



If such processes were necessary to good housekeeping, I would 
not have a remonstance to offer, nor a word to say. If they were 
even economical in any degree, there would be nothing to do, but 
submit as gracefully as circumstances would permit. But they are a 
saving of nothing, and only wear out man and wife and children in a 




in t ftort to do what 
mi^ht])edone(iuietly 
and mucli more ])leas- 
and), if tlie situation 
were attacked in a 
different way. 

If, for the sake 
of economy, the car- 
pets must be all 
taken up at once, so 
as to be completed in one load, begin several days before they 
are wanted by taking out all the tacks. This can be done with 
very little moving of furniture, and the furniture can be at once 
replaced, and the house will not look as if a cyclone had struck it. 



HOME OCCUPATIONS. 49 

The carpets can then be taken up, one or two daily, the floors wiped 
up. and the furniture again restored to place. At the end of a few 
days your carpets are all up, and, while it is unpleasant, perhaps, to 
be without them, it has been really the only unpleasantness to which 
it has been necessary to subject the men of the household. Mean- 
while, you have been able to clean some of the rooms, and by the 
time the carpets are returned to you, it is possible to put them in 
order, perhaps, in a short time. It is not fair that the men of the 
household should suffer any more discomfort from the ills of house- 
cleaning than is absolutely unavoidable, and it is wise to have the 
meals as well-cooked and as regular as at other times. It gives the 
house-cleaner more stamina and nervous force to go upon, and it 
keeps her lord in a better humor — a highly desirable consummation 
of circumstances. 

But if it is not necessary to take up all the carpets at once, for 
the sake of some point of economy in the shaking, it would be better 
never to have a "house-cleaning." 

I hear a chorus of ''Oh's" rise from all the indignant house- 
keepers who strike this sentence, nevertheless I repeat it. I have 
the courage of conviction. A "regular house-cleaning" is not a 
necessity. When a day comes around upon which the weather is 
favorable and other things propitious, clean one room, and then that is 
done. In the course of a few days, clean another one, and in a few 
weeks the house-cleaning is done, your health is not impaired, and 
the discomfort attendant upon this era of household affairs, has been 
almost imperceptible to the masculine faction. 

With many, moving is the same chaotic performance as is house- 
cleaning. The household goods are all moved "higglety-pigglety ;" 
the pots and pans are set in the parlor, the bedsteads are put in 
the dining-room and everything is left as upset as possible against 
the time of "putting to rights." 

When possible, do have your carpets put down in the new 
dwelling before a single article of furniture has been moved, and 
then have the furniture put directly into the room for which it is 
designed. 

And finally, whether moving, or cleaning, or baking, or sewing, 
aim to do all with the greatest ease and comfort to yourself and 
those around you. 



CHAPTER VII. 



HOUSEHOLD CONVENIENCES. 



NDER this head, I do not include the ordinary 
pots, kettles and pans, which are not so much 
conveniences as necessities, but I wish more 
especially to refer to many little things of which 
many housekeepers do not think. 

I wonder, have you any idea how unneces- 
sarily uncomfortable many housekeepers are? 
Have you any idea how many steps may 
be saved by a little forethought, ingenuity, or ability to 
plan and oversee carpenter work? 

Now, let us see! What shall we consider first? 
Let us enter the attic, and look around! Is there 
anything there that can be improved ? Ah, yes ! Just 
the thing! There is a recess that can be boarded off 
into a "dark closet." And, what is a ''dark closet" good 
for? A dark closet is a most valuable accessory to the 
housekeeper's stock in trade. In that dark closet, she 
will hang her hams and her pieces of dried beef. Carefully cured, 
she can lay in a large stock of these, if it so please her, without danger 
•of either mould or decay. If I have any special advice to a young 
housekeeper, who is about arranging or building a house, the first 
point is to have " closets and closets and closets!' There is nothing 
which so contributes to the possibilities of neatness as plenty of closet 
room. If you do not own your house, or for some reason do not 
•care to go to the expense of the carpenter work, a five-cent calico 
curtain, in the attic, and at more expense, cretonne, satine, or canton 
flannel, on the lower floors, will make an effectual barrier to dust — 
that bane of the housekeeper's existence. 

For packing away winter clothes, another accessory of the attic 
should be a large chest — or two — if you have enough to fill them ; I'm 




HOME OCCUPATIONS. 51 

not particular as to number. This chest should be at least seven or 
eight feet long by three broad and three deep. Preferably, it should 
be constructed of cedar wood, but, as this is rather expensive, it may 
be made of any other wood, but must be light-^vooi. Lined with 
thick, heavy paper, and with the garments properly cared for before 
they are put in, with camphor, pepper, or cedar chips, as you may 
prefer, you should have a moth-proof receptacle for your winter 
clothes. Many who consider themselves very careful, are horrified 
to find when they remove their clothing in the fall, from such a recep- 
tacle as this, that they are literally "riddled with moths." 

This does not arise from the condition of the chest in most cases, 
nor yet because the clothing is not properly covered and secured, 
but from the mistaken, but very prevalent idea, that it is the moth-fly 
which eats the goods. "There wasn't a moth in the clothes any- 
where, and I put them away just as carefully!" they exclaim when 
the sad condition of the articles is discovered. 

The trouble is this — the moth-fly seeks dark, secluded places 
for laying her eggs. The woolier the place, the better it is for her 
purpose. Here she lays her tiny eggs, and the careful, unsuspecting, 
young housekeeper packs away her winter goods, and carefully packs 
away in them, the very ''fell-destroyer" she is seeking to evade: 
for it is the little worm which hatches out from these eggs, which eats 
the goods. Could our clothes be kept out in a bright, sunny room, 
and be brushed and thoroughly disturbed every few days, there 
would be little danger of their destruction by moths, for they will 
only deposit their eggs where they feel that the larvae will be free 
from disturbance when hatched out. 

Before packing clothing away, all possible soil should be wiped 
•off, the pockets turned inside out, and thoroughly cleaned and 
brushed, and the whole article put in as good condition as possible, 
so that when the time for their use again comes around, they may 
be entirely ready to put on. There is another reason for all this 
precaution, which is, that there is yet another enemy which attacks 
■chiefly soiled spots. This is commonly known as the "silver-fish." 

We have been "upstairs," now we will go downstairs, and in 
"My Lady's chamber." And what here? Oh, so many things! 
A curtained closet here, a dressing table there, a wall-pocket for odd 
slips of paper, a pretty, ornamented and ornamental bag for soiled 
collars and cuffs and handkerchiefs — making a pretty odd bit of color 
against the door frame or upon the wall — and through all, the 



52 



QUEEN OF HOME. 




GATHERING DANDELIONS. 



HOME OCCUPATIONS. 53 

underlying principle of useful ornament and ornamental usefulness. 
One of the most useful things with which the furnishing of a room 
can be supplemented, is a simple little rack of a strip of walnut, say, 
about three inches wide, and of a length suitable for the purpose. 
On this, nail a strip of leather about an inch wide. By careful meas- 
urement of the articles concerned, nail the leather so as to form 
compartments, into which may be slipped the handles of brush, 
comb, tooth-brush, nail-brush, nail-file and button-hook. Bore two 
holes in the strip of board, and hang the whole arrangement up in 
the place most convenient for daily use. There should be one of 
these simple articles of furniture to every occupant of the room 
There is nothing which earlier promotes respect of the property 
of others — a most desirable attribute — than exclusive proprietorship 
in articles of the toilet, and being held responsible for their safe, neat 
keeping. 

Let us step across the hall, to the sitting-room, where ''My 
Lady" sews. Here, by the window, from which she keeps a mother's 
watchful eye upon the little ones at play, we find her sewing-table, 
her basket, her needles and thimble, her spools of cotton and silk, 
her buttons and her darning-balls. But, I wonder if she has a darn- 
ing-^^^ ? That wonderful convenience, with its large pocket for the 
undarned stockings, and its small pocket with its reels of colored 
threads, its needle-book and its china-egg, over which to darn the 
huge holes in father's heel or baby's knee. I wonder, too, if she has 
a regular sewing-apron, that positive luxury, made by turning up 
about ten inches and sewing it down into pockets of assorted sizes ? 
Has she a lap-board ? And above all, I wonder has she a cutting- 
table? If not, she certainly should, as soon as possible, procure one 
which has one edge laid off in inch spaces. Its value in sewing, and 
the more especially in dressmaking, is immense. 

But there is a household convenience, which is within the reach 
of every housekeeper, and having once possessed one, I will venture 
to assert that when she moves, the first thing she will want in her 
new home, will be her "adjustable table." This is nothing more 
nor less than a shelf, three or four feet long by two and a half wide. 
This can be made of walnut or pine, according to the taste and 
pocket of the owner. It should be attached to the window-board 
with a couple of strong hinges. Underneath, should be a movable 
support, in the shape of a leg or brackets. When not in use, the 
support is turned in, the table let down, and presto ! nothing is there 



54 QUEEN OF HOME. 

but an unobtrusive board against the wall. It is well to have this 
attachment fastened to the window near which the sewing machine 
stands, as it will be found convenient beyond measure sometim.es, to 
rest upon it, the heavy part of some bulky piece of sewing. 

*'What shall I do for a closet in my sitting-room?" exclaims a 
distracted mother. "It's in a litter all the time, and yet I cannot 
complain, for the children have not a place to put a thing!" 

"Make one." 

"How?" 

Curtain off a recess, and have "Paul" put up some hooks and 
some shelves, or put them up yourself 

"But Paul hasn't any time to put up shelves, and I'm as 
awkward as possible with carpenter's tools, and besides I haven't any 
recess." 

Well, you are in pretty bad shape, but your case is not hopeless 
by any means. Place one upon the other on their sides, boxes of 
the same length and depth, but varying, if it please you, in width. 
Use as many as will make your closet the desired height. Fasten 
them together with a nail or two in each one, and behold ! you have 
a useful, if not very ornamental article of furniture, the sides of the 
boxes forming the ready-made shelves. Now curtain this arrange- 
ment with a curtain that divides in the middle, and hangs pretty full 
in front, but to which there need be but little fullness on the sides, 
and lo! your unsightly furniture has developed into a "thing of 
beauty and a joy forever." If you wish to add an extra touch of 
grace, you can stain the boxes with walnut or cherry stain, and finish 
off the edges of your shelves with scalloped leather of crimson or 
russet color, kept in place with a row of brass-headed nails. One 
more improvement may be made by fastening your curtain to a 
board or boards which are somewhat longer than your boxes. When 
this board is fastened to the top of your improvised closet, you have 
an added space at each end, which may be utilized as a hanging 
closet by putting a row of nails or hooks upon the outside ends of 
your boxes. 

The amount of uses to which ordinary wooden boxes can be put 
by an ingenious woman cannot be computed. I even know of a very 
convenient desk which was made in this way, but of which I will leave 
the description till a later and more appropriate chapter. 

Let us now descend to the dining-room. With the idea that 
steps must be saved wherever possible, let me say that one of the 



HOME OCCUPATIONS. 55 

very greatest conveniences in the construction of a house, is a small 
window between the dining-room and the kitchen, which is to be 
closed by a wooden door when not in use. Many a step is saved 
by being able to place a number of things on the window-ledge of 
this opening, and then going round into the dining-room once, instead 
of many times, and removing them to their proper places. 

Likewise, of immense value is an adjustable table like the one 
mentioned previously, as an attachment to the sitting-room. It should 
be attached to the wall, so that when it is raised it will be within easy 
reach of the housekeeper when sitting at the head of the table. This 
is desirable whether there is a servant to wait upon the table or not, 
as it is equally convenient to mistress and maid. 

And now the kitchen! Where shall we begin? There is so 
much to be done and had and said in this department, the private, 
particular and peculiar province of the ''Queen," that it is almost 
impossible to know where to commence. But, I really think that the 
first point is the abolition of that almost invariable step which is at 
the entrance to the dining-room or the out-shed, if not to both. For 
what reason the custom of putting this step should have attained, no 
one seems able to say. But that it is bad for the feminine back, and 
irritating to the feminine soul, no one will deny. And any one who has 
counted the many steps up and down, up and down, which must 
be taken between kitchen and dining-room and shed, in one hour, will 
be more than willing to abolish this unnecessary step, and will endeavor 
to make, or have made, all the woi^kiiig part of the house upon a level. 
Then the adjustable tables! If useful elsewhei^e, what may we call 
them here? One at the end of the sink for dishes ; one at the window 
for baking-day, or for the small ironing-board when a little pressing 
is to be done ; anywhere, everywhere, in all available places. When 
not in use, no space is occupied — when needed, at hand. 

Now, I do wonder how many cooking utensils you have? 

A very mistaken idea prevails that there is economy in a small 
stock and in primitive ways of doing things. But merchants, busi- 
ness men and mechanics have long ago learned the wisdom and 
benefit of labor-saving machinery, and when this can be borne in upon 
the householder, much of woman's work will be eliminated. In these 
days of cheap tools and materials, there are many things to be bought 
for — shall I say it? — for five cents, that are a boon to the housekeeper. 

When you can obtain a nice little wire broiler for five cents, one 
that will last a year or two, why broil upon a more expensive iron 



56 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



one, your mutton chops, your mackerel, your tomatoes and your 
toast ? There should be a distinct utensil for cooking each one of these, 
and any housekeeper who once tries having separate broilers, will 
never go back to the old 
way, to which she has 
kept, simply because her 
mother and her grand- 
mother did so before her. 
There should always be a 
separate vessel for boil- 




thing a f t e r- 
wards cooked 
in a pot which 
has been used 
for this pur- 
pose, will be 
tainted. It 
cannot be 
avoided. 

Whatever 
else the house 
lacks,letthere 
be plenty of 
cooking uten- 
sils. 

It will pay 
the house- 
keeper, too, 

at her earliest opportunit>\ to visit some large establishment which 
has on sale the latest inventions. Why should a woman continue to 
break off her fingernails in scratching and scraping the bottoms of the 



HOME OCCUPATIONS. 57 

''pots and kettles and pans," when for a few cents she can have a 
"chain dish-cloth," which will do the work in half the time and twice 
as well? Why struggle with a piece of meat, dropping it back into 
the boiling liquor, half a dozen times at the imminent risk of scalding 
herself, when a little money invested in a "double meat-fork" — an 
instrument made very much after the fashion of a dredging-fork — 
will do away with all such danger, and accomplish the work with 
neatness and despatch at one trying? Why slice cucumbers or raw 
potatoes in chunks, as one may say, when there is a cucumber cutter 
to behad, which will make thin, delicate slices, that are much more 
dainty and much more digestible? 

Why stone cherries, or pare apples by hand, when there are to 
be had at a small expense, machines for that purpose? 

Among the nicest things for the kitchen is a solid glass rolling- 
pin and a potato-masher. Only those who have tried them know how 
superior to the wooden ones are these glass arrangements. 

A little fine wire strainer, just large enough to fit into the top 
of a pitcher, and having two wire attachments that make it possible 
to support it on the sides of said pitcher, in a perfectly secure position, 
is something without which no housekeeper should rest content, 
especially as it can be had for five cents, and is like many proprietary 
medicines, "good for everything." 

It would be almost impossible to enumerate the wash-machines, 
the boilers, the wringers, the egg-beaters, the step-ladders, the irons, 
the iron-holders, the coffee pots — in fact the things innumerable — that 
flood the land in the way of the "latest inventions." But so much I 
can and will say — if there comes to your notice anything in the way 
of a new invention, which, upon careful investigation and mature 
consideration, seems likely to perform for you, even if it does it no 
more quickly, work which you have always done by hand, buy that 
machine or utensil if you can possibly afford it. It will save its price, 
if only in a doctor's bill, sometimes. 

"O, I can do it as well by hand ! It only takes me a little longer, 
and I can't afford to buy one unnecessary thing," says some house- 
keeper when some invention is brought to her notice. "Only takes 
a little longer!" Can she afford to lose the time? "Unnecessary!" 
Is anything unnecessary which saves time? 

Money we value — only too highly most of us — but because time, 
like the oil in the widow's cruse, can be divided up among millions 
and still remain the same, we hold it cheap, but in these days of 



58 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



rush and turmoil, it behooves us all to "keep up with the times." 
There is much said and written about what our "fore-mothers," 
as Samantha Allen hath it, were capable of accomplishing, but those 
who thus write, must remember that of those same "fore-mothers," 
not nearly so much was expected, either in a social or a literary way, 
and, in order to fulfill the requirements of an exacting community, 
women must make time. 

Besides, if our husbands and fathers are not content to flail out 
their wheat as their fathers did before them; if they, instead of carrying 
water to their cattle or pumping it for them, put in wind-mills, to do 
the work, and save their own time and backs ; if the scythe is relegated 
to the past, and mowing machines take its place ; if the typewriter 
does the work of the quill pen of past ages ; if the lineotype does the 
work of three or four compositors ; if the telephone does the work of 
the errand-boy; in short, if man in all departments and branches of 
his labor, conspires to invent and introduce that which shall save time 
and expense, and serve to cheapen hand-labor, why not, so far as 
possible, introduce the same principle into woman s work ? The man 
who buys himself a mowing machine, arguing that it saves time and 
labor, yet compels his wife to use the old churn she has used all her 
life, is short-sighted, to say the least. The man who puts in a wind- 
mill to draw water for the cattle, and save the labor of himself and 
men, and fails at the same time to make an attachment that will 
likewise carry water for the house, is careless of the comfort of the 
household, not to say, selfish to the last degree. 

The man who has a typewriting machine in his office, and no 
washing machine in his kitchen, makes a great mistake. And I say 
again, that it is a man's duty, and a woman's privilege to put into the 
kitchen every utensil and convenience that will save time, labor, 
thought, or back. 








HOME DECORATIONS, 



ANNIE R. RAMSEY. 



CHAPTER I. 



COLOR AND DECORATION IN THE HOUSE. 



AUL and Virginia are married, and, like birds In 
Spring, are beginning to think of building their 
nest, but, unlike the robins, they have no instinct 
to guide them, no world full of free materials ; 
they must make the taste, judgment and experi- 
ence of others, their guide, and must often feel 
the need of money. For Paul and Virginia are 
not wealthy; only a healthy, happy, common- 
sense young couple, trying to make a cozy home on a 
few hundred dollars, and already, perhaps, a little dis- 
heartened at the mysterious way things have of "count- 
ing up;" at the rapidity with which their money flies 
away, without procuring for them the many luxuries of 
their bachelor and maiden days. 

To help such young people, and. It may be, many 

an older couple. It Is my privilege to write these papers, 

which embody, most truthfully, actual experiences. 

The first query that I address to all would-be home makers is — 

"Where Is the house to be?" If you can not tell me this, pray lay 

aside all questions of furniture and furnishings, until you can. But 




6o 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



I hope you answer promptly: "in the country," or, if in a city, in 
the suburban quarters thereof; for here you may add to your Hves, 
the great delight of a small garden, and, believe me, Virginia, every 
simple pleasure which husband and wife may share in common, is 
better than money saved. Of course there is the trite objection that 
living out of town adds much expense in the way of car-fare to the 
yearly account, but this is quite balanced by cheaper rents, and the 
fact that Virginia will find she can dress less, entertain less and be, 
in many ways, more independent and economical than in the heart of 




a city. Besides, there is nothing like the purer air of the country, 
which Paul may enjoy after his day's work is over. 

Before you buy, or rent, be sure that the house has a good, dry 
cellar, with gravel soil beneath its floor, or is cemented — for a wet, 
clayey cellar has in it a ghost which walks nightly, and bad drainage 
is a whole legion of demons, known as malaria. To be sure that all 
these things are right, go to the necessary expense of having a dis- 
interested plumber (not one in the neighborhood) visit the house and 
test the pipes and drains. 

The heater — if there be one — should have a cold-air box, to supply 



HOME DECORATIONS. 6i 

the house with fresh, outside air (else you will, you must breathe 
cellar air, from the moment your fires are lit) ; and it is a good thing 
to visit, if possible, the last tenant, to inquire if heaters, stoves and 
ranges do their duty — for some very attractive looking houses refuse 
to be warmed, cannot be made to furnish hot water, and will not 
bake or roast. If you value your temper and peace, do not take 
such a house. 

If you rent, see that the lease provides for all repairs, and try to 
induce your landlord to make whatever alterations you deem neces- 
sary — a man will often do much to procure and keep good, careful 
tenants. 

If you are going to buy, consult a builder — also disinterested — as 
to how well (or ill,) the house is constructed, how the woodwork will 
wear, how the floors are laid, and the doors and windows hung. Try, 
by all means, to find a house with a southern exposure, or, with, at 
least, some southern windows, with others to the west or east, for 
into northern windows, the sun never peeps the whole year through. 
Try very hard to find a light hall, and, even if a house suits in every 
other particular, do not dream of taking it, if the hall is dark, unless 
you are able to go to the expense — a small expense — of having a 
window cut. These hall windows can be put into any house not on 
the inside of a city row, and add very greatly to the pleasant impres- 
sion of the entrance. 

If you find some of your rooms dark, do not use them just as the 
architect intended ; for these gentlemen have been known to econ- 
omize space, or carry out the conventional arrangement of dining room, 
sitting room or parlor, without reference to light and sun. And if the 
room he calls dining room, is dark and gloomy, you would do well to 
select some brighter one for the purpose. By very little added 
expense, you can use the room on the second floor for a dining room, 
and this will invariably add much to your light and cheerfulness. In 
most city houses, one or two plans prevail, both necessitating a dark 
dining room, but, which very fortunately for us, admit of the change 
suggested. By putting in a dumb-waiter and butler's pantry in the up- 
stairs room, the lower room may be turned into a snuggery for Paul 
to use for his smoking, if he has this bad habit, or for Virginia to 
receive an informal visitor. The upstairs dining room will lack no 
convenience and is no more trouble to serve meals in — thanks to the 
dumb-waiter — than the old dark room downstairs ; the merest mite 
of a closet can be made to hold the waiter — or, it can be built in a 



62 QUEEN OF HOME. 

tiny room, thrown out from the wall like a bay-window. Any clever 
carpenter can make either arrangement, and you will never cease to 
be glad you insisted upon the change. 

The house decided on, make up your minds what you want, long 
before you go into the stores to buy, and this will entail much look- 
ing, pricing, thinking and debating, as to what is absolutely necessary 
and what you can afford. Don't grow discouraged, but try to bear 
in mind some rules which are sure to help you. 

In the first place, your house must, and will, in spite of you, 
express the character and taste of the people who live in it. It is this 
law which leads people (who are quite unaware of its existence) to 
crowd their rooms with books, if they love books ; to hang color in 
every nook and corner, if they delight in color ; to make stiff, empty 
rooms, if they themselves do not care for beauty ; to load every 
inch of space with ornamentation, if they lack order, or are not 
alive to artistic proprieties. And this law, betrays the householder's 
character just as certainly in the tasteless monstrosities in the 
homes of the wealthy as in the barren ugliness of some houses where 
small means are. 

Don't be afraid of having any thing you really like, but be sure 
you know why you like it. 

Another rule for you to observe is that each room should at 
once declare the purposes to which it is put — that is, your parlor 
must not suggest a bedroom in its trifles of decoration, nor your 
dining room a parlor, but each must have its separate and distinct 
character. 

Then, too, you must remember that a house to be really cozy, 
must be used, every part of it, every day, else the unused parts will 
inevitably grow stiff and formal, and strike a chill to your visitor, 
when you do open the closed doors and windows to do him honor. 

This rule — it goes without saying — will also insist that the scale 
of expenditure shall be most evenly kept throughout the house. It is 
better to have fewer, plainer things in the parlor, and the bedrooms 
comfortably and prettily furnished, than to spend your precious 
money for the public parts of the house, leaving the upper floors 
poor and mean. There must be this unity throughout the house, if 
all your efforts to decorate are to be a success. 

Have you never visited where, passing from floor to floor — nay, 
from room to room — was like going into other spheres? 

Remember, too, that what is right and appropriate for a city 



HOME DECORATIONS. 



63 




64 QUEEN OF HOME. 

mansion, Is likely to be quite out of place in the small parlor or cozy 
living-room of your little home. 

Still another law of good decoration declares that there shall be 
no excess of ornamentation — no useless beautifying, such as a bow 
around the poker, milk-maid stools in the parlor, and sashes on the 
table legs ; nor is it in good taste to use as ornament, anything per- 
verted from the original purpose, or appropriate service — no hats for 
coal boxes, men with holes in their heads for salt-cellars and the like 
monstrosities ; to say nothing of such things as the wooden shovel 
painted with apple blossoms on a sky-blue ground, and hung by an 
enormous bow beside the hearth, in elaborate, but ridiculous state ! 
This excess of decoration might be called the ''American disease," 
but let us hope that it has nearly run its course, and that we are 
learning to have beauty only where it is needed and appropriate. 

The question of color, too, is one where mistakes are made, and as 
all such mistakes are invariably m.ost glaring, Virginia and Paul might 
spend some sleepless nights trying to avoid any error in this direction. 
But, fortunately, artists have laid down some rigid rules, under whose 
guidance we are comparatively safe. The principle for most color 
schemes, is found in the old law of complementary colors, which 
declares that no arrangement of color is quite complete unless each 
of the three primary colors, red, yellow and blue, is present in some 
shade, or combination — not necessarily in the crude and brilliant state, 
but in softened mixtures with black and white, or combined with one 
another. Follow this out a little and you will see that green (being 
yellow and blue) agrees best with red — the third color ; orange (red 
and yellow) needs blue, as a contrast; while purple (red and blue) 
requires some shade of yellow. As I have said, these are not merely 
the crude shades, but modifications of them ; such, for instance, as 
nature uses when she delights our eyes with red carnations on their 
bluish green-grey stems ; or the orange and blue may resolve itself 
into terra-cotta and pale sage-green, or, copper color and cold grey- 
blue ; the purple and yellow may be lavender and cream, or heliotrope 
and gold, but still the law must be worked out to make a really lovely 
color scheme, which is to be your guide in selecting wall papers, cur- 
tains, carpets, draperies and furniture. 

In the matter of color, we must not overlook the paint of the 
woodwork — even the natural color of the wood may be made to help, 
since, in our more modern homes, architects are using more and 
more, our beautiful native woods in their natural colors. 



HOME DECORATIONS. 



65 



While on this subject of color, let me add that rooms are gene- 
rally best treated, when the combination is made by many objects of 
different colors rather than many colors in one object — therefore, 
it is better to have walls of one color, curtains of some other, and 
furniture to match either, with a stray chair-seat, or cushion, or 
bit of drapery to give the needed hint of the third. In this way the 
beauty of your rooms will depend largely upon carpets, wall-paper 
and draperies. 




CHAPTER II. 




CARPETS. 



^ ARPETS are generally so unsatisfactory and so 
expensive, as well as unwholesome, that I wish 
to enter a special plea for bare floors with mats 
over them. Rugs have many and manifest ad- 
vantages. First, they can be more easily beaten 
out than carpets. Second, when a spot is be- 
ginning to wear, the position of the rug may be 
so altered as to bring the wear in a new place. There are 
two objections, however, raised to the fashion of bare 
floors and rugs : " They are so cold," and " They are so 
hard to care for." Now for the first objection. In the 
experience of years I have never found them cold. The 
very nicest thing you can have as a foundation for your 
rugs, is a wood carpet. As these are made by gluing 
strips and sections of wood upon a cloth foundation, 
they are in reality warmer than an ordinary carpet, as you may 
readily imagine. But such floors are expensive, and will be out 
of the reach of our young couple ; though, if once put down, they last 
a lifetime. 

The next thing in order of consideration is an article known 
among carpet men as "filling." It is an ingrain carpet woven in 
solid colors, and makes a warm, beautiful background to your 
rugs, if chosen in deep, rich hues. Or matting, in good colors, 
answers the same purpose in parlor or dining room, though I 
hesitate to say this, because matting in winter is unpleasant unless 
almost entirely covered with rugs. 

As to the second objection, i. e. the care of the floors, I can only 
refer Virginia to my own experience, which, under the following 
methods, has found it no trouble to take care of bare floors these 
many years. The first obstacle will be the floor itself, which very 






HOME DECORATIONS. 67 

much more than likely, is uneven, knot-holey, full of cracks between 
the planks, and possibly splashed with color from the house-painter's 
brush. Remove all the paint by the use of caustic potash (kept by 
all druggists) which will dissolve paint if left on long enough — some- 
times it requires forty-eight hours to do its work, when the paint is 
very old and hard. The floor must then be scoured with several 
waters, the rough holes planed even, and the cracks between planks 
filled with putty, else they will catch the dust and hold it in ugly 
streaks. The whole floor is then stained by the application of a 
mixture which is found in all paint and house-furnishing shops, and 
will be delivered to you in the country, in sealed cans, sent by 
express. These stains imitate, very successfully, the colors of oak, 
walnut, cherry, chestnut and mahogany. If you wish to make your 
flaor imitate one laid in alternate planks of dark and light wood, 
only stain every other plank dark, leaving the intervening ones light. 
The liquid stain, as sold, is usually too thick, and will bear much 
thinning with turpentine — you may safely add an equal quantity of 
turpentine, if not more. This is, of course, applied with a large, soft 
brush — the washboard being carefully guarded by holding a pane of 
window glass between it and the active brush. If the stain is not 
obtainable, the recipe I give makes a fine walnut stain at little cost. 
Mix with boiled linseed oil, enough burnt umber to produce the 
desired shade, testing the color continually on a bit of board, until 
the rich, warm color of walnut is ready. Rub this into the floor, 
thoroughly, with a heavy woolen cloth — not a brush — giving all the 
pores of the wood a generous bath of the mixture, and then rubbing 
till none of the stain will discolor a fresh rag. The boiled linseed 
oil and burnt umber will be obtainable for you by the most primitive 
grocer or druggist, and the energy and backbone necessary to its 
successful application, should be hired in a man, for the work is too 
back-breaking for a woman. To finish the floor, no matter how the first 
stain has been applied, it should be waxed after the manner of Parisian 
floors. Slice or chip finely one pound of yellow beeswax into a gallon 
of turpentine — if this is too great a quantity, take half or a quarter 
of it, but preserve the same proportions. Let it stand all night, or, 
if you are in a hurry, keep it for several hours at the back of the 
range, or under the stove, where the heat is strong enough to melt 
the wax, but not to ignite the very inflammable turpentine. When 
it is all melted and stirred into a smooth paste-like liquid, rub it on 
the floor with a woolen cloth, using much force to rub it in thoroughly. 



68 QUEEN OF HOME. 

and leave no sticky surface. After an application or two, the stained 
wood will shine like a mirror, and on its glassy face no dust or dirt 
will stick too closely to prevent its removal with the hair brush, or a 
broom tied around with a rag. The floor will need to-be waxed 
quite often at first — say once a week for a month — if you are aiming 
at a perfect floor, then once in two weeks, and finally, once in every 
month is all that is needed, if the floors are carefully gone over 
every week with the dry woolen cloth kept for this purpose. 

As to the rugs you buy, that will depend, of course, upon the 
money you have to spend. Persian rugs, as everyone knows, are 
pre-eminently the most satisfactory, as well as the most beautiful, but 
they are so expensively economical as to be impossible to most of us. 
Small ones are however "picked up" quite reasonably sometimes in 
old junk shops, or at auction sales, or perhaps Virginia has been 
fortunate enough to have had some given her as a wedding present. 
Next to the genuine article may come the American imitation, if- — 
and emphasize the if, please — well chosen. They are much cheaper 
than the real Eastern rug, but are not in any way so good and beau- 
tiful, although they are improving very much of late years, and 
occasionally, one finds them in very lovely colors. They may always 
be known by the fact that they are precisely alike on both sides. The 
other carpets sold by the yard can be made into mats, so as to give 
you one in Axminster, velvet, brussels or ingrain, but the very nicest 
kind, among these cheaper sorts, is the Art Square, or Kensington 
Square, as it is sometimes called. They are made in lovely colors 
and wear exceedingly well, being a heavier sort of ingrain with the 
border woven on. They are to be had in all sizes, shapes and colors, 
and are universally sold at the price of one dollar a square yard ; so 
that even a large one will be much cheaper than carpeting the whole 
room with cheaper ingrain, to the price of which you must add the 
cost of *' sewing" and "laying." There is one quality of these 
squares, which costs nearly double the price of that already mentioned, 
but this is a "three-ply" ingrain instead of a "two-ply," and, while 
more expensive, is sure to wear twice as long. The cheaper quality, 
however, is good enough to give great satisfaction, and is the one 
most generally used. 

A still less expensive rug, and one quite appropriate to Virginia's 
modest little home, is one she can have made before her marriage, 
while she still has her mother's store of old carpets to draw upon. 
She must beg from her friends all the scraps of old ingrain which 



HOME DECORATIONS. 69 

would be perfectly useless to them, and she may even have to buy a 
few yards of bright colors. These carpets, old and new, must be 
cut along the selvedge length, into fine strips, the finer and longer 
the better, and given to the man who weaves rag carpet, and he will 
use them to make as pretty a rug as you will desire. It would be 
advisable however, not to undertake the cutting of the strips all alone 
— it is such tedious work that it will pay to give the job to some poor 
old body who needs the work. The amount of old carpet that it 
takes to make one of these rugs will astonish you. The best way 
to gauge it is to weigh an American rug of the size desired and 
send once and a half that number of pounds to the weaver. Of 
course, it is understood that only ingrains can be so used ; the stiff 
linen back in brussels, velvets and the like, makes their use impossible. 

A large mat should always occupy the middle of the floor, and 
it should be square in shape if possible, thus allowing it to be fre- 
quently turned around. The smaller mats can then be placed at 
doorways, before sofas and easy chairs, and in front of bureaus and 
.washstands, just as fancy dictates. 

If you must have "all-over" carpets, nothing is prettier than the 
ingrains now made, though the more wealthy still choose English 
brussels and velvets. But whatever material the carpet may be, let 
me urge to have it pretty in design, and of a color to harmonize with 
the rest of the room ; one with small figures and blending colors and 
none of those with gigantic scrolls or huge flowers. Take care not 
to choose one where the design brings out spots of color which, after 
a while, tire and vex the eye. The really safe carpet is that in which 
two shades of the same color are mixed, one being the background, 
the other the design, but such ingrains, it is thought, show soil and 
wear more than where there is a medley of color, or where, at least, 
two different colors are present. 




CHAPTER III. 



WALL-PAPER. 



ALL-PAPER requires almost a volume to itself 
and, even then, we might fail to do justice 
to the varied and beautiful designs which 
paper-hangers now offer us. So much can 
be done with wall-paper, to alter and improve 
a room, to cover up defects and to brighten 
and beautify, that certain facts are not 
unworthy the study of any home - loving 
woman. For instance, in a room which is so high that it 
seems impossible to make it cozy, try the effect of a bright 
wall-paper, a dado higher than usual, a frieze deeper than 
common, and a warm, rather strong color on the papered 
ceiling. The horizontal bands on the wall, and the more 
conspicuous ceiling, will at once seem to lower the room 
very much. On the other hand, if the ceiling is too low 
and makes the room seem cramped and stifling, you have 
a help in a wall-paper on which the design ascends in vertical lines ; 
a vine for instance, or, perhaps, in extreme cases, the walls may be 
divided into narrow panels by the use of upright mouldings. For 
the low room, omit the dado and frieze, substituting for the latter a 
border, put on in such a way that it bends over the angle rnade by 
the joining of wall to ceiling, 'three-fourths of its width lying on the 
ceiling and only one-fourth on the wall. With this, the palest and 
most delicate shade of greenish-blue is used for the ceiling, or, where 
the walls are very light, the ceiling may be papered like them and no 
border used at all. By any and all of these devices, the height of 
the room seems to be materially increased. 

A small room should be papered in blue, if all things else 
permit, for oculists tell us that blue recedes from the eye, and this 
makes the room look larger. One peculiar shade of green-blue — 




HOME DECORATIONS. 



71 



very light — possesses the quahty In great force, as does also a very 
pale sage-green. But a deep blue is hard to make agreeable, if used 
in masses — it looks cold and heavy. 

There is no need to urge the choice of small conventional designs. 
The large figured designs have lost their foothold in houses of modern 
dimensions, and the same may be said of gilt paper — the pride of 
our grandmothers ! We can now find such pretty and such tasteful 
patterns in paper at very reasonable prices, that there is really no 
longer any excuse for the hideous patterns sometimes used. In 
choosing papers, do not buy any design that is "spotty," especially 
for a bedroom ; nor worse still, one that seems to creep or wave 
over the background. It is quite within the bounds of possibility that 
you may some day be ill in such a room, and then you will realize its 
horrors. 

Choose papers, as a rule, which can be easily matched. There 
is a custom among paper makers of destroying designs after a cer- 
tain length of time and thus depriving the market of the privilege of 
using a favorite pattern for years, nevertheless there are a few 

designs that seem to escape such a 
fate — one of these is the Chrysanthe- 
mum-like pattern here illustrated, 
and most FrencJi designs. 

Always have a dado if your room 
permits, and for this advice there are 
economical as well as artistic reasons. 
The general wear and tear on wall- 
paper comes on the lower part first, 
and it is a comparatively easy matter 
to renew this by a new dado, when it 
might be quite impracticable to 
re-paper the whole wall. Even in a 
new house the fact that the dado does 
not require any large quantity of paper, 'makes it possible to add to 
the rich effect of the room, since more expensive material may be 
used for the dado. 

In deciding upon the color of your walls, you will need to con- 
sider the amount and kind of light the room receives. A room with 
much sunshine in it is made delightful by a yellow toned paper, while 
one without sun is made cosy by warm, light red, or pinkish walls. 
Yellow has a decided advantage in the fact that it does not change at 




72 . QUEEN OF HOME. 

night, since the lamp or gas Hght does not alter it as it does most other 
colors, but rather adds to its softness. Your paper must always 
be looked upon as a background for yourself and your belongings, 
and unless you have gorgeous pictures, curtains and furniture, you 
will do well to avoid gorgeous papers ; and the white and gilt, so 
loved in France and imitated here, requires the daintiest setting, and, 
in consequence, quite inappropriate to the house we are furnishing. 

For most purposes, the ''Boston felting" or "cartridge paper" 
as it is sometimes called, cannot be too highly recommended ; it is 
found in every shade and variety of color. Its rough surface gives a 
soft, pleasing texture to the room, and as dust marks are readily 
wiped off with a dry cloth, it does not show the stained place behind 
pictures, plates and brackets, as much as any other sort of plain 
paper. Besides this, the felting wears excellently, and is always 
made in such good dyes that there is never any trouble about its 
fading. It is always a yard wide, and this fact makes it possible to 
use felting for dados with great advantage, since it is wide enough to 
be put on the room without cutting — using the width for the height of 
the dado. Considering its beauty and excellence, it is not expensive. 

Rooms opening into each other, should be papered in harmon- 
izing colors — the parlor, for instance, blue ; the room beyond, sage- 
green, and the halls, terra-cotta — or, the parlor may be yellow, the 
room beyond pale blue or sage-green, and the halls pinkish with dark 
red paint. And by the way, all the woodwork should help out your 
color scheme. We are long past the day when every particle of 
wood in the room was covered with a coat of glaring white ; very 
cold and ugly it was, and we are glad to be rid of the incessant 
washing off of spots made by the soiled hands of the dear, unthinking 
boys. 

Children don't mean to soil the paint and leave their marks 
behind them, but then they do — it is their nature. How wise was 
dame Fashion when she dictated this change. Many a boy's life has 
been made wretched by an over-careful mother, whose one idea was 
to have an immaculate house. And the mother was equally wretched 
because she could not attain that height of her ambition — speckless 
paint. So, altogether, we are to be congratulated on the increased 
comfort all round, as well as the added beauty in our individual 
rooms, when we are permitted to tint our woodwork any shade to 
suit our fancy and our pocket-book. 

If you insist upon it, and "stand over" them, painters will with 



HOME DECORATIONS. 



73 



a fair amount of grumbling, mix you just the shade you ask for — 
provided always that you know what you want and do not give up till 
you obtain it. There is a popular error afloat that paint can not go 
over paint, but this is a great mistake in most instances. From some 
curious chemical law, colored paint will not stick over white, but after 
a very short time flakes and peels off in patches, at every knock or 
bump, showing the white beneath. This, however, is the only case 
of such perversity, for, as a rule, all paints — even white — will stick over 
a dark color, unless, indeed, the woodwork is already too heavily 
coated with many layers of old paint. Then there is no remedy 
except the expensive one of burning the paint off, though sometimes 
the same results can be obtained by the use of caustic potash, applied 
in generous baths by means of a long-handled brush or mop. 

Your rooms being papered, painted and carpeted, you will next 
need to consider draperies. 




CHAPTER IV. 



DRAPERIES. 





i^- OMPLETING your color scheme will be greatly 
helped by your curtains, though lambrequins, 
chair backs and table scarfs, aid very materially. 
For curtains, it is ^zn^e desirable to have 
three sets, at the parlor windows at least, if 
^'^IhW"^ %^^ nowhere else, and it seems equally desirable that 
^^i^o\>:^^. every window in the house should have a "pane 

T'-^^fel^ curtain," of white or some delicate flimsy material. They 
v^i^fsS^ give such a neat, finished look to a room, and. seen from 
^ScSS4^ outside, add a hundred per cent, to the attractiveness of 
7?i^#'?^ T the house — much as white rufiles at neck and cuffs of a 
■^^r^ woman's dress, add to the wearer's finished look. 

There is no lack of suitable m.aterials among the very 
cheapest goods, so that poverty is no longer any excuse, 
and the cheap things last a long time if chosen with 
judgment and treated with care. The best of the low-priced materials 
are dotted muslins, scrim, crazy cloths, or even cheese cloths, which 
all do nicely for any bedroom and modest parlor, though they are 
not rich enough for handsome rooms. For this, you will find imita- 
tion lace, Nottingham lace, Madras and China silks — the last being 
by far the best, if you are going to admit color into these pane cur- 
tains — for the China silk cleans admirably and wears a lifetime, while 
all the others, especially Madras, are more or less difficult to wash. 
Madras, if cheap, has little to recommend it, for it washes abom- 
inably. All these short pane curtains must have the lower edge fin- 
ished by ball fringe, tassels, lace or tiny ruffles, to make the stiff line 
of the edge more graceful and flowing. 

Whatever the materials for your curtains, do not fasten them to 
the sash by means of rods run into the hem at top and bottom, and 
do not then split the curtain up the middle and draw it back to each 



HOME DECORATIONS. 75 

side with bands of ribbon, as is the favorite method in some homes, 
but which only results in making a diamond-shaped space in the 
middle of the lower sash, bounded on all sides by folds of drapery, 
as stiff and hard as if moulded from iron — a result quite foreign to 
the nature of lace and silk — which ought always to be flowing and 
graceful. 

To remedy this, put the curtains on one rod at the top, fastening 
the ends of this to the ^n'wvAo^n frame (not the sash, which may thus 
be raised and lowered independent of the curtain), the curtain being 
hung on the rod by means of tiny brass rings, sewed at regular dis- 
tances on its upper edge. If the rings are large enough to slip easily 
over the rod, the curtains can be readily pushed aside to admit all 
possible light and air. 

To get rid of the ugly, vexatious shade is, I know, the secret 
desire of all women who have the hateful things. They are forever 
getting out of order or tumbling down on one's head, and they are 
really of very little use at a properly curtained window. Next to 
them in ugliness comes the inside shutter, for which there is really 
no artistic or architectural reason. Both may be dispensed with, if 
the upper sash is filled with colored glass, which is not really so 
expensive as one thinks and which adds much to the color of the room; 
but, if jewel glass is out of the question, you can imitate it very skill- 
fully, cheaply and easily by the use of a patented stained glass process. 
But should this not be to your fancy, you may divide the upper sash 
into many small panes, by having a carpenter put intersecting mould- 
ings on the panes already in use — which makes a pretty sash at small 
cost. 

If you must have shades, get them of a color to harmonize with 
the outside color of your house ; nothing is so ugly as staring patches 
of color at every window of a house. There is a good blind, of 
creamy-white, with a lace design stamped on it so deeply, that the 
whole effect is that of heavy lace — especially as it is only a IialfhXixiA 
and its lower edge, which just touches the division between upper 
and lower sashes, is cut into scallops, as lace would be. 

There is still one other plan of using sash curtains, which is, to 
hang them from the top of the window frame so that they just reach 
the sill — though even here the lower sash should have independent 
curtains in order to let the longer curtains be draped to the sides. 

Over the pane curtains, lace curtains should hang, and over 
these a heavy pair of colored curtains — but if you can only have one 



^6 QUEEN OF HOME. 

of these, never make the mistake of using lace curtains only, for this 
gives any room, however handsome and pretentious, the most unfin- 
ished, bare look. 

Each set of curtains should be on its own pole — the heavy oat- 
side ones being on a thick brass or wooden bar, the lighter ones on 
the ordinar)^ metal rod. The heavy curtains should be attached to 
the rings by means of a little pin, which carries a hook just large 
enough to fit into the tiny ring on the side of the curtain ring. This is 
the easiest way of putting up curtains of which I have any knowledge, 
and it is seen at a glance how convenient is the arrangement where 
woolen curtains are concerned, when it comes to folding them away 
for the summer. 

The best way to attach the curtains is to fold the curtains into 
plaits, sewing them if necessar}^ before attaching the hooks. The 
inner edge should have a single fold (see illustration), and the full- 
ness of the curtain is then divided into equal parts, and bunches of 
plaits laid at regular distances, until the curtain is just wide enough 
to cover the space for 
which it is intended. 

As a rule, heavy 
curtains should be 
lined to protect their 
colors from the fading 
powers of light and 
sun ; and for this pur- 
pose cheese cloth is generally quite sufficient — putting in a fold of 
crinoline along the sides and lower edge, between the stuff and lining. 

To drape the curtains, nothing more ridiculous than brass chains 
could be devised — the soft, yielding stuff will stay in place nicely if 
held back by ribbons or bias bands of China silk, and in bedrooms 
a cheap and good " tie-back" can be made from knitting cotton, a ball 
of which will make five or six sets of cords and tassels, by twisting 
several strands of the cotton together for the cords, and attaching a 
tassel to the end of each one. In looping back curtains, the " tie-back" 
should come from a hook placed about as high from the floor as a 
woman's elbow — say forty-two inches — and should then droop to an 
angle of about fort}^-five degrees, with the side of the wall, thus allowing 
the curtains to fall easily and gracefully. 

For door-curtains, or portieres, there is an endless variety of stuffs 
at ever}' shade of costliness, from" denines to plushes and brocades. 




HOME DECORATIONS. ^-^ 

The portiere may always be heavy, and must always be lined, if both 
sides are not alike, as is the case in chenille and double velours. A 
very effective Eastern portiere is found in stripes of bright, soft 
colors, coarsely embroidered with gay wools, in large stitches and 
figures. These are quite expensive, but are wide enough to allow one 
to each doorway of ordinary width. They need no lining. Then 
there are the reps, which are of such lovely shades and wear so well ; 
and also the woolen damasks, which, though of moderate cost, drape 
into graceful folds, with the merest touch ; and last, but not least, are 
the lovely fiower-be-sprinkled cretonnes, both French and English, 
which are the draf)eries, par excellence, for bedrooms, and do good 
service, too, in dining room and living-room of any cheerful home. 

The rods for door-curtains should be placed between the jambs 
of the doorway, and be fastened to neither door nor to the outside 
frame, unless it be your object to conceal the same. When the room 
is low, the portiere should not be draped at all, but allowed to fall in 
perpendicular folds, which gives height to the apartment. Where 
the doorway is high and narrow, the portiere is best draped, if all the 
fullness is caught to one side and held there by a " tie-back." 

In finishing portieres, or heavy curtains, a cord as thick as one's 
thumb is all that is necessary, but, as many people like to see these 
things embroidered and decorated, you may, if you choose, apply 
borders, on which some pretty design has been outlined with heavy 
flax thread — called Bargarren — or else, on handsome stuffs, with 
rope-silk. This will be all that Virginia should have time to do or to 
take care of, for the more elaborate embroideries require an incon- 
ceivable expenditure of time and care. 




CHAPTER V. 




FURNISHING. 



ET US now consider the house in detail. The 
first place to furnish will be the hall ; and let us 
hope that Virginia has not one of those stereo- 
typed houses in which the hall is only a narrow 
passage. Very little can be done for such a 
place, but let us do that little well. Paper 
the vestibule blue, with a ceiling of faint buff, 
and a dado of Japanese leather paper — with 
all the paint a dark green, including- the front door, which, 
by the way, should have brass lock, knobs and hinges. 
If the doors between vestibule and hall can be spared, 
take them down, and put in their place heavy curtains on 
a brass pole. The floor is best when paved in brick or 
glazed china tiles — these 
are the only floors which 
are really economical in 
the hallways — but if you 
are not to be convinced 
of this, then stain the floor and lay 
over it a cocoa matting in the vesti- 
bule and an ingrain mat in the hall ; 
this last can be rolled up and laid 
away in muddy and snowy weather, 
and the foot-tracks, inevitably made, 
wiped off the floor. 

The wall of the main hall should 
be alike from the vestibule up to the 

top story, and a good terra-cotta paper at very moderate price is 
easily found. A dado of matting is next put- in place — dark red 
and yellow — while the stairs are carpeted in "Venetian carpet" of 
two shades of red. 





HOME DECORATIONS. 



79 




Do not attempt to have In your hall the monstrosity, sold as a 
^•hall piece," which is to serve as hat and coat rack, an umbrella 
stand, a seat, a looking-glass and dear knows what besides ! They 

are always expensive, always 



hideous ! Instead of it, hang 
a glass in a wooden frame 
flat against the wall, and 
place under it a table, more 
or less like the one illus- 
trated. In one corner put 
an umbrella stand — which is 
best chosen in the shape of 
a straight, tall china vase ; a 
pretty one can be made by 
standing a piece of terra- 
cotta drain pipe in an earthen flower-pot 
saucer, and treating the whole, inside and 
out, to a coat of light blue paint. Beside 
the glass may hang a round, flat pin-cushion, 
a whisk holder, and a little rack for holding 
letters; and, if the hall is light, the walls 
may be decorated with an old print or two, 
and a couple of the gay Japanese picture 
hangings made for walls. 

All doorways leading 
into the hall should be 

curtained, and for this purpose double velours is 
admirable. 

Before furnishing the parlor, let us ask for 
what it is to be used, as, it is regretfully to be 
conceded, that even in these days, many Virginias 
and Pauls regard this room as a place to be kept 
clean and tidy ; to be shut up when no company 
^ is present, and only to be used on high days and 
^^ holidays. Into such a parlor, the sun is never 
admitted, lest it should fade some of the precious 
"best things," and, as a consequence, the room 
grows musty and chill, with a dreadful air of solemnity about it, which 
freezes all genial currents of social feelings on the rare occasions 
when the ''best room" is opened. If you cannot do better than this, 





So QUEEN OF HOME. 

it would be much better to have no parlor at all, but turn It into a 
cosy ''living-room," where friends are welcome — where children play 
and erow lazv — but everv inch of which tells of "Home, Sweet 
Home." 

Choose for the parlor a blue paper with a faint design of white 
or with a delicate glimmer of gold in it. If your ceiling admits, put 
both dado and frieze, the dado being plain Boston felting of a shade 
like the ground in the wall paper. Where the dado joins the main 
wall, a wooden moulding of black or dark blue should hide the upper 
edge, or, at least, a strip of black and gold bordering, an inch wide, 
should be used. 

The frieze may be of light blue with a rather large, geometrical 
design of interlacing lines, in ver)^ dark blue, or gilt, or some shade 
of pinky color. The ceiling is papered with a very warm yellowish- 
cream color with a pinkish design, or a plain pale buff. 

All the woodwork is painted to match the ceiling — either pinkish 
or, where the cornice is colored, a pale buff — with a line of pure yel- 
low in its deepest recess. 

The curtains are of white Swiss, against the panes, and over them 
hang Madras of creamy-white, and over these again, heavy curtains of 
pale olive and yellow double velours. The mantel lambrequin is 
of fine velveteen in a rich terra-cotta, w4th a border worked in gold 
thread or bright yellow rope-silk. 

For the carpet, a rug of course, and a pretty art square, in light 
blue, with yellow and brown dashes through it, is all you can desire. 

The furniture you need is not one of those cheap suites, with 
coarsely carved woodwork and coverings of ugly materials — some- 
times hair-cloth, and oftener, staring red or blue plush= — and, in this 
same breath, I must condemn all the horrors which upholsterers thrust 
upon us as 'Taney" chairs, 'Taney" tables and sofas, where expense 
is the only idea present. 

In buying your furniture, force yourself to consider form and 
usefulness, rather than gorgeousness, and this must be your rule, 
even in the plainest and smallest article, or you will be sure to get 
something entirely out of keeping with ever^'thing else — and no 
matter how much money it may cost, it may be hideous and unsuitable. 

So, unless you can go to a good house and get a well made suite 
of furniture of good design, you would best eschew " suites" altogether, 
and furnish your house with odd pieces, picked up separately, just as 
you have the money to buy them. Until you tr^*, you have no idea 



HOME DECORATIONS. 




what pretty things you and the carpenter can devise, and, if Paul is 
as. skillful with tools as most American men, he and you can find 
another common interest, in making bits of furniture, or in saving up 
pennies, which are to turn into chairs, tables and curtains. I am no 
friend however to sham decorations — these are generally a waste of 
time, and give the whole house a flimsy, unfinished look. The bar- 
rel chair soon becomes wrecked and shapeless, the imitation gilt 
mildews and vanishes ; the ginger jar with its pasted pictures, loses 
all its beauty, even to the eyes of its maker ; and the whole place 
resembles more or less a "ninety-nine cent store." 

This is not the sort of ex- 
perience I propose for the little 
wife — and therefore I annex 
the drawing of a gopd and sub- 
stantial sofa, which is easily 
and cheaply made — for it is 
merely a box, six feet long, two 
feet wide, put upon castors 
and covered with pretty cre- 
tonne, or other material. The 
lid is not solid, but only a frame — the empty part being filled with 
strong canvas, or burlaps, tacked closely to the frame. The wooden 

parts of the lid are smoothly covered with the 

material chosen, and on it is laid a mattress 

also previously covered. It must be exactly 

the size to fit, and 

must be held in place 

by a stout tape 

which is sewed 

along the lower 

edge of the back of 

the mattress, and 

then tacked firmly 

to the back of the 

box lid. If heavy 

fringe is used to 

conceal the sides of 

the box, the whole 
thing will assume quite an upholstered look — especially if the then 
square pillows are made hard and firm and trim. 





QUEEN OF HOME. 



Besides the sofa, you will need chairs — two easy chairs and four 
small ones. For the first the ever useful wicker chair is all one 
requires, since it can be made so pretty and decorative, with either 
black or white enamel, and gay cushions, not forgetting the little 
double pillow for the head, and a small one for the back, if needed. 
But one thing you must avoid — an ornate design in wicker work. 
These chairs can be found in sensible plain forms, and this is just 
what you must hunt for till you find it. No fancy backs, represent- 
ing fans, or tennis racquets, if you please. 

For wall chairs, a good style can be found among kitchen furniture, 

enameled white and trimmed 

with cretonne cushions, but in 

almost every furniture store 

you will find an odd chair which 

will suit your purpose and yet 

be cheap. 

For tables, nothing is more 

useful than those which the 

carpenter will make you from 

the annexed design, and which 

you can ebonize, if you wish ; 

or cover it, legs and all, with 

a pale sage-green velveteen, 
tacked on with brass-headed nails, and trimmed with fringe of the 
same color as the velveteen. This litde table is absolutely not upset- 
able, and while the upper shelf may be 
devoted to lamps or bric-a-brac, the 
lower one affords a cozy home for the 
newspapers and magazines one wants 
out of the way and yet within reach. 
You may easily overdo the matter of 
chairs and tables, but, at all hazards 
manage to leave space to move freely 
in, so that one is not burdened by a 

feeling of care for the odds and ends of your room, nor oppressed by 
the idea that all the furniture is thrown by some centripetal force into 
the centre, where it is greatly in the w^ay. 

For scarfs and draperies on tables and chairs, nothing is quite 
so satisfactory as the bits of Bulgarian work, which are found in all 
prices. I mean those strips of loose coarse cotton, with the two ends 






HOME DECORATIONS. 



83 




embroidered alike. When the strips are folded nearly in the middle 

both ends are seen, and 
they should be thus laid, 

I^^ -^ '^IK^— "^^^-^^ ^.-^fe^'^^^^3 smoothly and evenly, over 

^ ~ ^ the back of the chair. 

It is to be hoped that 
you have an open fireplace 
in your parlor. It is such 
a joy and pleasure that it 
is well worth any trouble 
it may give. Above it, it 
is to be hoped, that you 
have no^ that very ugly 
marble mantel-piece which 
was considered a patent of nobility by the last generation. If you 
have it, do not be afraid of it, but 
walk boldly up, paint brush in hand, 
and give it a good coat of paint to 
match the woodwork ; put on it one 
of the lambrequins illustrated here, 
and put above it an over- mantel, 
painted to match the wood, over 
an oblong mirror, the frame of 
which is covered with Japanese 
leather paper of very metallic 
bronzy lustre and color. I illus- 
trate such an over-mantel, and also 
a wood box, covered with the same leather paper and supported by 

ebonized sticks — which box some 
young housekeepers who cannot 
afford brass scuttles may find con- 
venient. 

The corners of a parlor afford a 
good chance for inexpensive decora- 
tions, and each one may be different, 
but it must be recognized that in a 
small room, the corners being filled 
makes the room look smaller. If 
the room is large, this makes no 
matter, and in one corner you may 





84 



QUEEN OF HOME. 




put the corner bracket — illustrated (of pine and covered with the 
ever useful Japanese paper). In another, a table may be drawn 

across to hold the lamp or a pot of growing 
plants. In another may stand the upright 
piano, turned so that the 
performer will face 
the centre of the room ; 
the unsightly unfinished 
back being concealed by 
a screen of the exact 
size and shape, which 
stands in front of it. 
This screen may be made cheaply; for if the 
carpenter makes you the frame, you can ebo- 
nize it yourself and fill the empty space by a 
curtain of pretty color, hung near the upper 
bar by a brass rod. On this curtain you may 
spend whatever ingenuity and skill as an em- 
broiderer, of which you are possessed. 

The top of the piano should always have 
some little fancy covering— a silken scarf or 

strip of 
worked 
linen, or 

double velour^ — and, if you are 
not afraid of injuring the instru- 
ment, you can stand bric-a-brac, 
if you have it, on the piano, too. 
This is all presupposing that 
your piano is an upright. A 
square piano, of course, re- 
quires different treatment, and 
above all, avoid giving the im- 
pression that your parlor is a 
place in which to keep your 
piano ; rather, permit one to 
feel that the piano is a very delightful accessory of your home life. 

If the musician of the family be a vocalist, however, she labors 
under great disadvantage if the upright piano is stood with its back 
out. Not only is this a disadvantage, but it is a positive detriment. 





HOME DECORATIONS. 



85 



She can do no good work In practising, and in singing for others the 
effect is very much lost. While it is always an advantage to the 
singer that she should not accompany herself, it is an absolute 
necessity in the case of an upright piano. If the back of the piano 
be turned out, the singer is entirely hidden, unless standing; if it be 
face out, she presents her back to the audience while accompanying 
herself. All these things should be taken into consideration when 
the purchase of a piano is contemplated. 

The position of a square piano will be very much a matter 
of taste, and will also depend very much upon the size of the 




apartment in which it is placed. If the room be very large, the 
piano may safely be turned round so that the performer will face 
the listener, or it may be placed across the corner of the room. 
While recognizing the piano as a piece of furniture, the rights of the 
player must not be overlooked, however; and if the corner-wise 
arrangement, should place the performer in an unpleasant light, by 
no means make the change. And, even when regarded as a mere 
piece of furniture, the square piano is susceptible of no ornamenta- 
tion whatever. It should be covered with a plain cloth, on which 
the only ornamentation permissible to good taste is a border line of 



86 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



embroidery In gold floss. Upon the top should go no bric-a-brac; 
the only thing to be seen there should be the well-arranged pile 
of music, and not that, if you have a music-rack. 

Music-racks, like book-cases, very often express the character 
of the owner, and are very much a question of taste. But, like all 
other articles designed for use, they should not give the impression 
of mere ornamentation. A music-rack is intended to hold the sheet 
music, and should be plain — as elegant and expensive as you choose, 
but plain. The idea of the rack should always, in the eye of the 

beholder, be subservient 
to that of the music. 

If Virginia herself has 
been a musician, it will 
be well for her, if she 
can find the time, to 
keep up her music to a 
certain extent. This is 
not only for Paul's en- 
tertainment, but for her 
ow^n satisfaction as well. 
If, however, her house- 
hold cares are such that 
her time for practice has 
to be snatched from her 
much -needed afternoon 
nap, by all means let the 
music go. Much more 
important is it that Paul 
should find her a bright, 
rested -looking wife, on 
his return, than one that is weary and half-asleep, though musical. It 
is far more important that Virginia be so refreshed that she shall be 
able to keep awake while Paul reads his last paper to the "Society 
for Research," of which he is a shining light, or that she should be a 
good listener while he entertains her, than that she shall entertain 
him. But if he is not unmusical, he will not object to her taking 
a little of the evening for sitting at the piano, softly recalling the 
half-forgotten melodies, and as he sits there silent, resting after 
the labors of the day, he will weave the half-heard music in with the 
wreaths of smoke that curl round his head, and will be unconscious 




HOME DECORATIONS. 



87 



of the fact that Virginia does not play as well as she used — he will 
only feel the utter comfort and pleasure of his home. 

And now, perhaps a word or two on the care of the piano itself 
will not come amiss just here. Many people blame the maker of a 
piano for defects that are entirely due to their own carelessness. 
They will stand a piano near an open window, or subject it to 
extremes of heat and cold, and then wonder that it does not keep 
tune. A nerve-trying rattle will suddenly develop somewhere in the 

piano's inner economy, and 
all the ingenuity of the family 
is bent to discover the cause. 
Some wiseacre examines it, 
sounds it, and solemnly de- 
clares the sounding-board 
to be split. Consternation 
spreads ! The only piano 
the family owns, with a split 
sounding-board! Pater- 
familias goes to the estab- 
lishment from which it was 
purchased, and enters com- 
plaint. A first-class tuner 
is sent to examine the in- 
strument, and after a few 
skillful movements, which 
they know so well how to 
make, he triumphantly pro- 
duces a penny, which the 
baby has dropped in, or 
perhaps a hairpin, or again, 
perhaps only a pin, but the 
split sotmding-board is cured. 
To keep a piano in good condition, it should be tuned three times a 
year, or at least looked at. Sometimes it does not need a regular 
tuning so often as that, but it is well to make a regular engagement 
with a tuner, to put in an appearance at a certain date. By this 
means your responsibility of remembering it is over. And besides, 
otherwise you are likely to forget the necessity for him until your 
piano is positively injured by its lack of tuning. 

A piano should never stand so that an open window may 




ss 



OUEEN OF HOME. 



possibly rust the strings. Every inch of rust acquired, means so 
much loss of sweetness of tone. It should never be subjected to 
extremes of heat or cold. The practice of keeping the piano, for 
the winter, in a parlor in which a fire is only made on Sundays or 
special occasions, is ruinous to the instrument. The sudden expan- 
sion and contraction are exceedingly bad for the strings, and will 
throw them out of tune very quickly. A very erroneous impression 
attains, that a piano should be closed when not in use, in order to 

keep out the dust. An 
experienced tuner will 
tell you that your piano 
is far more injured by 
change of temperature 
than it could possibly be 
by dust. When closed, 
the heat of the room can- 
not permeate the inner 
construction. The piano 
is opened for an hour or 
so, warm air rushes in, 
and then, after the brief 
period, it is closed and 
consigned to another 
term of cold. J^eep your 
piano open. The keys 
will not grow yellow so 
quickly, the piano will 
keep better tune, and 
the whole instrument 
will last much longer in 
good condition. 

It should be dusted 
inside and then closed for a litde while, to prevent the dust settling 
again among the strings. One of the very best things for this pur- 
pose is a large bellows or syringe. These remove the dust from the 
innermost recesses. Finger marks should be removed with chamois 
skin that has been dipped in hot water, to thoroughly soften it, and 
has then been wrung out until only damp. As an ordinary duster, a 
soft piece of old muslin or cheese-cloth is preferable to the old silk 
handkerchiefs so many people use. 




CHAPTER VI. 



THE DINING ROOM. 



VERY dining room should have a bay-window 
in it, to complete the cheery character of the 
room, and under the bay window may be built 
a seat, illustrated, which will further increase 
its cosiness. Or it should have in it a quantity 
of growing plants on small narrow tables, like 
the cut ; these will be made by any carpenter 
for a small price, and a tinsmith will fit zinc pans to each 
for an equally low price. 

The curtains at the bay-window can fall from top 
to bottom in long straight folds, and may be of crazy 
cloth, made very full at each window, the curtains being 
white with a dark red design. 

The walls are most satisfactory if covered with a 

warm yellow tone in Boston felting, with a dado of 

same color, well covered by a design in dark brown ; 

something large and scrawly being the best pattern for this purpose. 

The ceiling paper is light blue, with sparsely scattered gilt stars ; 

the frieze, a deep band 

of brown and yellow and 
gold ; the cornice painted 
to tone with this frieze, in 
delicate shades of buff and 
wood color, with one line 
of blue like the ceiling. 

The woodwork, like 
the furniture, is all walnut 
— this includes the chair 
rail, but the picture rod 





may be of dull gilt. A chair rail is most essential 

though of course it is advisable for every part of the house, even the 



in a dining room. 



go 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



halls, and is always the best finish to make for a dado, while as for 
the picture rod, no one who knows its convenience will ever be with- 
out one. It is simply a strong- moulding fixed to the wall at the line 
where the frieze and wall paper join, and on this moulding, pictures 
are hung by means of double hooks, one end of which is bent down 
to fit over the rod and the other end bent up to hold the wires and 
cords which are attached to the frames. By means of this arrange- 
ment, pictures can be hung without breaking and defacing the plaster 

by nails, and, what 
is even more to the 
point, they can be 
changed and re- 
hung at will, with no 
fear of damage to 
the wall and with the 
smallest amount of 
inconvenience and 
labor. 

In the dining 
room a rug of dark 
red, with little star- 
like yellow figures, 
orone in two shades 
of olive-green, over 
the waxed floor, is 
the proper carpet- 
ing ; or, one of the 
"home-made" mats 
before described 
will be just what 
the room requires. 
In the furniture, avoid suites as scrupulously as you did for the 
parlor, for here, also, many good articles can be purchased, little by 
little. A table, of course, is a necessity. It should be wdde and 
generous looking — four feet being a good wddth, anything narrower 
is not advisable — and the ends should be square across, not rounded, 
and not finished with a drop leaf. 

With the table, six side chairs and two end chairs will be needed, 
and Virginia will find these among the most difficult of her furnishings 
to secure in good shapes at low prices. Several forms of chairs are 




HOME DECORATIONS. 



91 



here illustrated, which are all good in shape and comfortable to sit 
upon, with no misplaced carvings to poke you in the back, and no 
holes which threaten to let you drop through ; and while buying your 
dining room chairs never let yourself be persuaded into getting any- 
thing, whatever fancy may dictate, if you have not first tried it and 
found it comfortable. 

The regulation sideboard is another nightmare, and the hand- 
somer and more expensive it is, the more it is to be deprecated. 
Note the illustration, and see a sideboard which is really pretty and 
convenient ; also being made in a day when people knew what good 




and graceful forms were. You will notice that it has no glass 
whatever, and is thus saved from looking like an overgrown, ornate 
bureau moved into the dining room. I give you a cut for a sideboard 
that was made to order from polished walnut, and trimmed with 
brass keyholes, handles and hinges. You see that the plates at the 
back are held in place by a brass rod, which runs across the back, 
through screw-eyes which have been put at each end. This sideboard 
is five feet long, eighteen inches deep, and three feet high. The 
drawers are used to keep silver, napkins and the like, away from the 
dust, and are each six inches deep, while the remaining height is 
equally divided between the little closets at the bottom and the shelf 



92 



QUEEN OF HOME. 




above them. If this is too expensive, then let a carpenter make you 

one on the same plan, in white wood, and you can paint it for your- 
self, a pale blue or a delicate green, and 
still have a most useful and pretty side- 
board. 

There are several other cuts given, 
each representing a sideboard, to be 
made either from the polished wood, or 
from pine, painted or ebonized. 

After the dining room is given all 
these big necessities, we have only just 
begun, for there is the housemaid's 
closet (a name I like better than ''but- 
ler's pantry," when there is no butler), 
which is full of the most dainty and 
tempting of Virginia's possessions, and, 
for her sake, I could wish that its con- 
tents were mostly bridal presents, and that she takes charge of the 

china, silver and glass herself. There is a good habit among us, even 

in the homes of the wealthy, which gives into the careful hands of the 

mistress of the house the 

washing of the breakfast 

and dessert ware. 

But let us see what the 

closet needs. First, there 

is a sink, with hot and cold 

water, in the city (or with 

pump for cold water, in the 

country) — a dumb waiter 

or "lift," if the dining room 

is above the kitchen ; and 

alongside the waiter, Paul 

should build a shelf, on 

which hot dishes may be 

stood as they are lifted 

from the waiter. Many an 

accident will be saved by this simple convenience, and Virginia may 

then feel justified in accepting no excuse for the careless waitress 

who puts dishes on the clean cloth without wiping off the bottoms 

very thoroughly. 




HOME DECORATIONS. 



93 



Against the wall, Paul may put a hanging table, as described 
in a previous chapter, on '* household conveniences." 

On the other side of the room is a kitchen dresser, stained like 
all the rest of the woodwork, a dark walnut. 

These things will leave but little bare wall to be papered with a 
blue and white tile paper, which is varnished with two coats of varnish, 
and finished by a dado of light oilcloth in something the same style. 
The varnish on the paper makes it resist the action of the steam 

^ ,^^ from hot water, and it 

si — ^\ also allows the walls to 

be wiped down, from 

time to time, as though 

they were painted. 

Above the dado, a 
row of hooks is put, four 
feet or so from the floor, 
on which may hang the 
brooms, brushes and 
duster bags of the house- 
hold — which thus rest 
against the dado and do 
not soil the wall. 

A roller towel should 
always be at hand — 
against the door is a 
good out - of - the - way 
place — and a small fold- 
ing towel rack to hold 
cup towels while they 
are drying ; and close at 
hand, a basket should 
find a place — a receptacle in which lamp rags and scissors, and the 
mistress' rubber gloves may be kept. 

In the closets and drawers of the dresser is the linen, which, if 
Virginia has been wise, she has chosen as a wedding present ; for 
she will find the first outfit somewhat expensive, the more especially 
as a generous supply of linen is needed in order to protect any one 
piece from excessive use, as nothing wears out linen more quickly 
than being always in the washtub. The list for a small family would 
be none too large if it included : 




=^ni, 



94 



OUEEN OF HOME. 



Six tablecloths, each two yards square ; four dozen napkins, 
three-quarter size, to match ; two tablecloths, three and a half yards 
by two yards, for family gatherings ; one dozen small napkins, for 
use by occasional guests ; one dozen white doylies ; one dozen red 
doylies, for fruit. 

Virginia may choose to add two red cloths for breakfast, but she 
will not if she dislikes them as much as many do. 

For use beneath the tea tray and 
the meat dish, any woman can make 
herself dainty little cloths of fine 
linen, hemstitched and fringed all 
round, and outlined across each end 
in some pretty design, worked with 
red working cotton. And almost 
any woman can embroider her initial 
in the corner of her napkins and the 
centre of her tablecloths, using white 
linen floss to work with, selecting 
letters two inches long for the nap- 
kins and three or four inches for the 
cloth. If an epergne cloth is used, 
the initial may go half a yard away 
from the exact centre towards the 
seat of the mistress. 

Beside the linen mentioned, 
Virginia should provide herself with 
an undercloth of white cotton felting, 
which is to be bought two yards wide, 
for this especial purpose. This cloth, 
much to the soft, rich look of the 
to be without it. Being a sort of 
and unless fruit juice or wine is 




Mi ' 



^ 



^U 



beneath the linen one, adds so 
damask that no table can afford 
cotton flannel it is not hard to wash 
upset on it, it is readily freed from stains. 

Of course, having linen of uniform pattern is something of an 
economy, since the napkins then can be used without regard to 
matching the design of the cloth ; but if you have not been fortunate 
in your choice of a pattern, you have no idea how tired you will 
become of always seeing the same thing. A small polka dot is a 
pattern that is usually found in linens of all grades, and the ''snow- 
ball" patterns, and the "ball and leaf," can be found in moderate 



HOME DECORATIONS. 



95 



grades also. Do not choose a design which covers the cloth entirely ; 
it is far prettier to see the satiny surface of the damask between 
sparsely scattered bunches. Now-a-days it is about as cheap to buy 
cloths with a border all round, as to get the same quality by the 




yard, and when this is found to be the case, of course the border is 
an advantage. 

Your closet, too, will hold the glass and china — those dainty 
treasures of home-loving women. You will need a table set of some 
kind, and the plea that ''it is the only thing which can be matched," 
is no longer true of white china only. Though, even if it were, I 



96 QUEEN OF HOME. 

almost doubt whether the use of white china is advisable in every 
dish. But, in these days of cheap Trenton ware, designs and colors 
can be reproduced with very small trouble and expense. There is a 
white ware of a decided yellowish tinge, made at Trenton, which is 
very pretty and plain, but as a rule, the decorated ware will make a 
prettier table. A favorite style, is white with a border of deep buff. 
On the border, the owner's initial is put in black, at very moderate 
cost; but this set would be for ''best" only, and perhaps may be 
waited for until Paul's success in business is more fully assured. 

All sets, (Trenton or otherwise), as sold in the stores, contain 
many useless articles, but in nearly all shops you will be allowed to 
pick out those you need, and are not forced to take everything 
included under the title of "set." So I advise the following selection 
in Trenton, either plain white or with a blue design : 

Two dozen dinner plates; one dozen breakfast plates; one 
dozen tea plates ; one dozen soup plates ; one tureen ; one salad 
bowl; twelve cups and saucers ; six meat dishes, graded sizes; four 
vegetable dishes — two covered and two uncovered; two gravy 
boats. 

This is all the china you will actually need, and you can, if you 
choose, make a variety by buying your breakfast and tea plates, with 
cups and saucers, all of one pattern — your other china being of 
another design. You can also find salad bowl and. plates, teapot, 
milk jug and sugar bowl in some fancy cheap ware, like majolica, for 
instance, in which clay, many very pretty things are made at lowest 
possible prices. For instance, I once had a set of dessert plates 
which cost seven cents apiece, but which were always extravagantly 
admired as something fine, because they were in delicate colors and 
pretty designs. It is a good plan for Paul and Virginia to institute 
the custom of presenting each other with cups on the birthdays as 
they come round ; or, if cups are not needed, then with some of the 
finer ornaments for the table. 

If you have neither silver nor plated ware — and it is all quite a 
care to keep clean — your coffee may come to the table in the tin pot 
in which it was made, provided the pot is kept scoured to perfection. 
For the teapot, Japanese, majolica, or the dull blue and grey ware, 
which is cheapest of all, is in every sense suitable, and can be found 
in each variety, strong and pretty ; while for milk, sugar and spoons, 
the bright, colored glass, which is made in appropriate shapes, is all 
anyone could ask. There is a certain blue and white glass which 



HOME DECORATIONS. 97 

has a very pretty effect on the table, but the plain white glass is 
g-ood too, provided it makes no pretense of imitating cut glass. 

It is astonishing how little silverware is actually necessary, and 
Virginia would do well to dispense with all she can, until she can 
have servants enough to keep it in good order ; for dull, unpolished 
silver bespeaks an overburdened or unthrifty housewife. If you 
have the things, however, and are willing to care for them in such a 
way as always to secure a brilliant, clean-looking surface to each 
object, then it is to be acknowledged that they do vastly increase the 
beauty of the table. To wash silver, the water should always be 
very hot and full of soap, besides which, a spoonful of household 
ammonia may be added. It should never be allowed to drain, but 
be wiped immediately, and then rubbed and polished with a dry 
chamois, till the whole surface shines. This washing in clean water 
and wiping while still hot is the main secret of keeping your silver 
and glass clear and brilliant ; but the silver will need, besides, a 
weekly cleaning with chamois and whiting. 

The glasses for the table which does not boast of cut glass, 
should be clear and as thin as is compatible with strength ; for it is 
heart-breaking to see our delicate goblets snap at the least provo- 
cation ; tumblers, however, are stronger than goblets, and are found 
in very pretty designs. 

Water glasses should always be white, but finger bowls, it is not 
only pretty but convenient to have in colors, selecting three of each 
color, olive, blue, red and amber, to the dozen ; so if one is broken 
and cannot be matched the oddity is not apparent. 

Water is no longer served in the great silver ice pitchers, as 
most people prefer some pretty china or glass trifle for this purpose 
— the pitchers in ruby glass, shading up to a rich orange, being 
especially good. Where cracked ice is served on the table, the 
water is put into decanters, or caraffes, which is the proper name for 
these water bottles. 

Salt is put at each place, in the very ugly salt-shaker, or indi- 
vidual salt-cellar ; but this custom is to be deplored, and everyone 
who can, should use the old fashioned salt-cellars and spoons, being 
careful to keep the salt free from lumps and smoothly packed in the 
little holder. 

Bread should be served on a flat wooden platter (without text 
or lettering) with a good knife beside it — this being an economical 
hint, as it allows one to cut just the quantity of bread needed, 

7 



98 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



instead of having Bridget send up the great pile of sHces, which she 
cuts for two or for twenty, without cHscretion, and which, once cut, 
become stale so quickly. The bread knife should be the subject of a 
law as inflexible as those of the Medes and Persians, which law 
declares that it shall never be used for anything but bread. It is the 
only way to keep a satisfactory bread cutter. 

Butter is most economically used when moulded into little balls 
or shells, by means of the paddles and moulds which are made 
expressly for the purpose ; but if these are not obtainable, the 
common French process of making butter pats is all that one needs. 
The butter being quite hard, it is scraped lightly with a knife blade, 
and gathers on it, in a droll looking, wrinkled "shaving," or ''quirl," 
which when about two inches long is ended and laid on a dish, and 
another one is begun. 

Flowers should grace the table at every meal. This may sound 
extravagant, but I do not mean you to have roses in January and 

violets in August. In summer and 
spring, your own garden will furnish 
a few blossoms, or, out in the field, 
the wild flowers grow for picking. 
In autumn the bright leaves fall by 
myriads, and may even be picked 
up in our city streets ; while all win- 
ter, a small plant may live in a fancy 
vase in the centre of your table, and 
for this purpose nothing is better 
than some of our hardy ferns, which 
you can dig up yourself in the woods, 
leave round the roots plenty of native 
in a china pot, may be kept green for 
many months. The only trouble about growing plants is, that people 
are apt to get them too large at first, and by-and-by they make a 
bushy hedge on the table, across which people find it impossible to 
talk. Bearing this in mind, you will plant your flower in a pot which 
is very low, something like the cut. 




any autumn day, taking care to 
soil. Or, sprigs of English ivy. 



CHAPTER VII. 




BEDROOMS. 



NE of two ideas must always be expressed in a 
bedroom ; one, makes the apartment suggest a 
luxurious, cozy nest, filled, as it is, with the count- 
less knick-knacks of the toilet, and the many 
nothings, to which the little mistress pays more 
or less devotion ; while the other, which is infi- 
nitely to be preferred, makes the bedroom as simple, as 
neat, as nearly bare, as one can, with due regard to daily 
needs and to good taste. 

Our young housekeeper will not need many bed- 
rooms at first — indeed, she will find it much more 
economical to limit herself to the three required by her- 
self, a guest, and the maid — for it is a great temptation 
to a young and happy couple to ask their less fortunate 
friends to visit their new paradise ; and while I do not preach inhos- 
pitality, I do urge little company at a time, and the times at rather 
long intervals. 

In your own room, let the walls be of a pale pinky terra-cotta — 
the very lightest shades — the design being small, and closely covering 
the ground. The dado should be of cretonne — a white ground with 
scattered sprays of pink flowers ; the deep frieze of the same, or of 
the lovely marsh-mallow paper, or cretonne paper, which always seems 
especially suited to bedrooms. The cretonne dado is a good substi- 
tute for paper, being stronger in the first place, and, in the second, 
easily taken down, cleaned and put back. It is fixed to the wall very 
closely by means of small furniture tacks along the edges — those at 
the top being concealed by a moulding, which, if you can afford it, 
may be deep enough for a chair-rail. The cretonne is, of course, 
put on lengthwise, and if well chosen, is most beautiful for this pur- 
pose, and easily put up ; but you will hardly find a landlord sufficiently 



lOO 



QUEEN OF HOME. 




HOME DECORATIONS. loi 

aesthetic to appreciate your wishes in this matter, so that this dado 
will probably be at your own expense. The frieze of cretonne is 
more difficult to manage, but any man can put on a narrow one — 
say of the Japanese chintzes, which are made in such pretty designs ; 
fan-like things on a white or blue ground, or blue on white ground, 
and which are only some twelve inches wide. I do not admit cretonne 
as wall coverings into any room other than a bed-chamber or nursery ; 
but in these they may reign supreme. 

The ceiling may be creamy-white, with a faint pink design, and 
the woodwork should be the same pinkish-buff of most delicate shade. 

The pane curtains should be of white Madras or crazy cloth, 
with a pale blue figure, under cretonne curtains of buff ground with 
pinkish or dull red design. 

For the floor, a pretty matting in natural color, and over it, 
small rugs in bright colors, will answer nicely ; putting one rug before 
the bureau, one before the washstand, and wherever else necessary, 
while on each side of the bed, a skin of the Persian goat may give just 
the needed touches of black and w^hite ; and surely there is no small 
comfort equal to that of stepping out of bed on to a fur rug ! 

Our great wooden bedsteads should be given up ; they are so 
heavy to move, so impossible to keep entirely clean in all hidden 
parts, and such nuisances, if once they, by any chance, are visited by 
the unmentionable insect. Light iron beds are so much better, and 
with proper springs, they can be made quite as comfortable as their 
wooden predecessors. Now, a double iron bedstead can be had at 
almost any price ; and for it you will need a set of springs. There 
is a kind called the Royal Reversible Spring Mattress, which, once 
owned — though rather expensive — settles the matter of a comfortable 
bed for all your life. It should be made in two pieces, so that some- 
times the middle of the mattress may be changed to the foot or 
head, and thus avoid the forming of hollows, which come in a mattress 
which is never turned except in the ordinary way. 

For such a bed you will need a bolster, eighteen inches wide by 
fifty-four inches long, which should weigh some four pounds, and 
which should be of fairly good goose feathers. Pillows, each of the same 
weight, should be twenty-seven by thirty inches in size. All this will 
make your bed the most expensive item in your room, but as it is 
also the most important one, in sickness or health, it is not the thing 
to be slighted or saved upon. 

A cheap dressing-table does duty for a bureau, and after Virginia 



I02 



OUEEN OF HOME. 



has expended her ingenuity and a few dollars on it, no one will ever 
suspect it of having begun life as a packing-box. She will need a 
box of good size (four feet by three, at least), which should be turned 
on one side, so as to allow the opening to face the room. At the back, 
a stout upright is firmly fixed, as a support to the glass, which, having 

been bought in a white frame, is 
decorated by enameling the frame a 
delicate pink. The box is next cov- 
ered with a cloth of cotton flannel, 
nailed securely to the top, and on 
the edges of this, is fastened a cur- 
tain, or frill, of cretonne — like the 
dado or like the window draperies. 
Over the top, concealing the cot- 
ton flannel, is a cloth of fine linen, or 
dimity, edged all round with torchon 
lace, and long enough to fall over 
and hide the line where the frill is 
joined to the box. Curtains of 
light flimsy materials (cheese-cloth 
will do, but Swiss or crazy cloth is 
better), are draped above the glass 
in graceful folds, being held in 
place by a rosette of ribbon, or of 
the curtain material. 

Behind the curtain, the box is 
divided by one or two shelves, and 
when the whole inside is neatly papered, these shelves answer almost 
every purpose of bureau drawers, holding Virginia's underclothes 
nicely, while her slippers and shoes repose in order on the very 
bottom plank. On the top of the stand is put a dainty candlestick, 
a tray, or mat to hold brush and comb, and a little Chinese tub of 
bright yellow china, for the boot-hook, hairpins, and the various 
trinkets which come off every night and go on every morning ; a box 
for handkerchiefs, or gloves, the manicure set, pincushion and cologne 
bottle, provided the last is not the offensive little object done up in a 
silk bag with only its stopper showing above a mass of fray-out 
fringe, bows and ''hand-paintings!" Away with such nonsense as 
this ! No house is big enough for it ! So take your cologne, like an 
honest woman, from a clear glass bottle, either perfectly plain, or as 




HOME DECORATIONS. 103 

richly cut as you can afford, or, perhaps, from one of the small flasks 
now made so prettily in all the jewel colors. 

Closets and wardrobes, too, you must have ; and if none are 
built in the house, you must set your brains to work and invent some. 
The most absolutely inconvenient house I ever saw, was made hab- 
itable by a clever carpenter, with a few hours' work. In one corner 
of each bedroom he fitted a shelf, about five feet above the floor — the 
shelf being triangular in shape, with rounded front and rather long 
sides. This was fixed to the wall, and to its lower surface double 
hooks were screwed, the shelf covered with cretonne, and around its 
edges was tacked a cretonne curtain, which just reached the floor. 
For a little more expense, a better, closer wardrobe may be had, if the 
carpenter will make you a door and frame to fit under the shelf; the 
door itself being a frame, filled with burlaps stretched across, and 
then covered with Japanese paper — the wood of all being painted to 
match the woodwork of the room. 

The awkwardness of a no-closet room may be greatly relieved, 
if there is space in the room for a box-lounge, precisely like the one 
recommended for the parlor, as dresses may be laid at full length in 
the box-part, after one end has been partitioned off as a bonnet box. 
Indeed, many ladies (whose means would allow them any sort of 
closet or wardrobe they fancied), adopt these for their dresses, for the 
plan keeps loopings and trimmings in better order than folding them 
away, which creases them ; or even than hanging them up, which, 
in course of time, makes them look stringy and dragged. But, 
apart from all this, I would urge Virginia to have some sort of a 
lounge in her bedroom, where she can lie down when she needs to, 
and which will be oftener done than if she must, perforce, go to the 
more ceremonious parlor, and run the risk of being disturbed by a 
visitor. The table is also a packing-box incognito, and may serve as 
its master's private closet, putting one of the sides on hinges to serve 
as a door, and putting in two shelves. The box is neatly papered, 
inside and outside, paneled with Japanese leather paper, tacked on 
closely with brass-headed tacks, leaving around each panel a frame- 
work of wood, four inches broad, which is to be enameled pink. 
With brass hinges and knobs to the door, the table is completed, and 
while the top may hold Paul's shaving-glass, brush and comb, and all 
toilet accessories, the shelves beneath may hold his shirts and under- 
clothes ; his boots and slippers lying on the very bottom. 

The washstand may be another packing-box, covered like the 



I04 QUEEN OF HOME. 

dressing-table, but instead of cotton flannel on the top, a piece of 
white oil-cloth may be substituted and the mat of cotton flannel laid 
on this, the ends and sides being finished with coarse torchon lace. 
On the shelf beneath, are the towels and bed-linen for the room, and 
perhaps, an extra blanket for a sudden change of temperature at night. 

A set of chinaware — plain white, with china slop -jar to match — 
will be found to answer every purpose, but, if possible to be had, I 
should recommend an English set, of yellowish-white ground, with dark 
red azaleas on it ; and there is quite a pretty Trenton set, of daisies on 
a ground which shades from deep pink to white ; but be sure to buy 
the jar, for a china jar is the only proper thing to use at the wash- 
stand. It is the only kind which can be kept perfectly clean and 
sweet. 

On every washstand there should be a small caraffe or pitcher, 
in fancy glass, to hold filtered or spring water for the mouth and 
teeth, the supply being renewed fresh each morning before using. A 
towel-rack is a necessity ; a folding one will prove a great conve- 
nience ; and near at hand, a bracket fixed to the wall may hold a yellow 
china tub in which sponges and bath-soap are kept on a drain. The 
drain may be one from any old soap dish, and the tubs themselves 
may be obtained at the Japanese stores. Behind the washstand, 
instead of a splasher, hang a generous curtain, supported on a brass 
rod run through screw-eyes, fixed in the wall. This curtain is of 
white checked muslin, or cheese cloth, and is two yards long and 
two wide, thus fully protecting the wall from a splashing washer, or 
the careless emptying of the basin and tooth-glass. A screen is a 
valuable accessory to a bedroom (and it is not necessarily expensive), 
as in sickness they are invaluable aids in keeping draughts and light 
from the patients, and no bedroom is complete without one. 

The spare room may repeat your own in all respects — save 
color. Let the walls of this be a faint sage-green, the woodwork a 
dull indian-red, the ceiling buff. Put curtains of crazy cloth at the 
window — an ecru ground with dark red figures, tied back by creamy- 
white ribbons. Over the straw-colored matting, put small imitation 
Eastern mats, or rugs of dark red ingrain — a mahogany-red is the tone 
you want to repeat again and again. The lambrequin and toilet cur- 
tains should be of sage cretonne, with red roses scattered over it, and 
the toilet set of cream-white, or of white and brown — something very 
quiet. For chairs, you will need two at least in each room, besides 
one easy chair of wicker-work, ebonized and made gay with cretonne 



HOME DECORATIONS. 



105 



cushions. Pray do not buy any rocking chairs — the rockers gnaw- 
off your pretty paint, and the back swings into your walls and takes 
out a piece of the paper. Our use of them is mainly habit, and a very 
bad habit, too. I sometimes look at women, rocking backwards and 
forwards by the hour, and wonder their brains and their babies' brains 
are not addled. But I would sooner have my paint gnawed off, and 
my walls broken by the regulation rocker, than admit within my doors 
the ugly invention known as the ''patent rocker." This adds the sin 
of being hideous to all its other offences. 

If you feel that the bedrooms, as thus described, are not as good 
as you can afford, you might get a chamber suite for each room you 

furnish, but care- 
fully avoid the 
ornate and over- 
decorated suites 
that are made in 
such quantities 
now-a-days. The 
set illustrated is 
really good in de- 
sign, being a copy 
of one made in 
England. It is 
made in highly- 
polished wood, 

with good glass and smoothly-rolling castors, either antique oak or 
walnut. ^ You will never tire of its simple solidity ; and after all, no 
make-shift box ever quite takes the place of a comfortable, well- 
appointed bureau, whatever else it may do. 





CHAPTER VIII. 



THE FAMILY SITTING ROOM. 

^ EFORE leaving the subject of the bed-chambers 
li entirely, however, and entering upon that of the 
'' sitting room, a few words about the maid's room 

may not be inappropriate. 

The maid's room should be as comfortable as 
her mistress', but may be much plainer. Though 
one should try to make it as pretty as possible, it 
should at the same time be so simple and clean 
looking, that one can easily detect any want of 
care and neatness. If there are two maids, by all means 
give them separate beds. A cot for each is all sufficient, 
with a packing-box washstand quite prettily trimmed with 
Turkey-red. Have a rag carpet on the floor, and a dress- 
ing-table also trimmed with red, and the same red at the 
windows, over white pane curtains ; place in the corner, 
curtains for a closet, to protect the dresses from dust, 

A washstand set of white, full and complete, and 
even the delicate attention of a screen is none too great 
an indulgence for these women, who really have no spot 
in all the house, outside this room, which they can call their own. 

The "living-room" will be for some time, only a cosy morning 
room— half boudoir, half library. On each side the fire-place book- 
shelves, low and irregular, may be buih into the wal s, and let me 
assure you, a -living-room" without books, tells a sad tale to a thought- 
ful visitor. , . . r 1 • -k ^f 
The lounge and general furniture of this room, may be ot 
rattan, made comfortable by cushions of bright cretonne, or of blue 
denins, with an occasional one of Turkey-red. 

The walls, as a background to these, may be a warm bluish-grey 
with a pink ceiling— the^curtains of blue and white crazy cloth, are 




HOME DECORATIONS. 



107 



alike for both sash and over-curtains — the last being cut oft at the sill 
and hung very full, so that they fall into ample and graceful folds 

when draped back with cotton 
cord and tassel. 

Every such room should in- 
clude in its furniture, something 
which may serve as a writing 
desk. 

On one wall of the room 
there should be a little cup- 
board to hold three or four 
delicate plates, and cups and 
saucers, a little box of crack- 
ers, tea-pot, cream pitcher and 
sugar bowl, a caddy with some 
good tea, and a spirit-lamp or 
gas-stove of tiny size. With 
these within reach, Virginia may 
offer a cheerful cup of tea to an 
afternoon visitor, without in the 
least interfering with the work 
of her one hand -maiden, or 





without being obliged to leave her visitor while she herself prepares 
it — and this act of hospitality is often a most welcome pleasure to a 
lady, who has encountered an appreciable amount of trouble and 
fatigue in her effort to make the call at Virginia's suburban, or 
country home. 



io8 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



In this room may be collected all the relics and memoirs of 
girlhood's days — the photographs of the dear family, the pictures 
and books and knick-knacks given to her when she was a child ; and 
she must try to make the whole room speak of herself so plainly and 
strongly, that Paul will always think of it when someone else speaks 

of ''home." 



In all the house I have 
not spoken of pictures, 
principally because they 
are so expensive — if 
good at all — that few 
young couples can in- 
vest in them.^ But, if 
you feel as strongly as 
I do the need for such 
pleasures, some pic- 
tures will creep into the 
little home, even if all 
the necessities — so- 
called — are not yet to 
be had. 

Let me beg of you 
not to spend money on 
oil paintings or chro- 
mos. The best pictures 
for your purpose will be 
always black and white, 
such as the Adolph 
Braun autotypes and 
photographs, or Gou- 
pil's photogravures, in 
which a new process 
produces results as soft and rich as the etcher s point and acid. 

With these black and white pictures, one or two water-colors 
will give beauty to your walls, but even here you must know enough 
to be sure you are getting good work, and if you have not this 
knowledge, you should not be too proud to ask the advice of some 
competent friend. 

Among the chromos, a new fancy has sprung up of imitating 
water-colors, and in these, the evils of the chromo are somewhat 




HOME DECORATIONS. 



109 



less apparent. I have even seen some pleasing bits of color among 
them, but I know none I should care to recommend, except perhaps, 
one or two after Ross Turner's marine views ; Miss Fidelia Bridgyrs 
foreground sketches ; and some roses scattered on a white cloth and 
falling from a low vase — there was no name on the roses, only the 
initial M, B., but I have seen the same subject so often that I am 
quite sure it can easily be found at any of the city book-stores and 
art galleries. 




The frames for all pictures, other than oil paintings, should be 
narrow and simple — some of the most celebrated frame makers 
advising altogether the use of wood in its natural color, or, at the 
most, ebonized, or enameled in white. If you prefer the narrow 
frames of gold, be sure that the gold is gold leaf , (and not a lacquer), 
as lacquer lasts a very short time — its brilliancy soon becoming tar- 
nished. Your pictures will look much better in a plain cherry, or 
oak band, than in the cheap lacquered frame. 

But I feel that I am stepping beyond my first intention when I 
enter the realm of ''pictures," and I therefore draw to a close these 
.papers which I hope may be what I have tried to make them — 
thoroughly helpful m building the "home-nest." 




THE NURSERY. 



CHAPTER I. 



ITS SANITATION, USES AND CONVENIENCES. 



HAT a flood of hallowed recollections ; what 
tender smiles does the very word evoke ! 

Which of us is there who has not stored 

away in his memory, the recollection of a 

bright cheery room somewhere, filled with 

littered toys and merry romping children ? 

Which of us is there who, if he has been 

denied this recollection as a memory of his 

own childhood, does not feel himself defrauded, and feel 

as if, some way, he has missed one of the best things life 

has to offer? 

O mothers ! make the nursery life and the nursery 
time, a pleasant recollection, for many times in after life 
will your grown son and daughter be withheld from bad, or 
strengthened in good, as they remember the "good times 
in the dear old nursery," when they were innocent romping 
rollicking children. 

Its character and influence is far-reaching, and every effort should 
be made to have it of such importance that it shall be considered 
thoroughly and constantly in all its bearings and in all its relations, 
not only to the daily life of the infants who dwell in it, but to the 
grown sons and daughters who leave it. "Give me," says some one, 
"your child until he is six years old, and I care not who has him after 
that." 'Tis here baby's first tears are shed; 'tis here she learns her 
first lessons — lessons which are softened by mother's loving care, by 




112 QUEEN OF HOME. 

father's wise counsel — lessons which if left untaught in childhood, are 
learned with such bitter force in after life. 

But first let us take into consideration the nursery itself as 
adapted for the use to which it is put. The nursery is practically 
the Jiome of the infant until she shall have attained such an age that she 
goes to school. If the parents are sufficiently endowed with means, 
to have a daily governess, the nursery is converted into a school- 
room, and is christened with this more high-sounding title, but it is 
the same room in which the child has spent her earliest life. 

It should therefore, be a bright sunny room, having, if possible, 
a pleasant outlook, as we cannot realize to what an extent early train- 
ing of the eye to look on pleasant objects, has upon after education. 

It should be readily warmed in winter, and, as it will be the 
sewing room of the mother in most cases, it should, if possible, be 
such as can be kept comparatively cool in summer. This can often 
be accomplished by trailing vines and outside awnings. There should 
likewise be outside shutters. Where there are inside blinds, the 
heat of the sun has an opportunity to partially enter the room before 
it meets anything to ward it off There never was a greater mistake 
in house building than the introduction of inside blinds to take the 
place of the old-fashioned shutter. Have plenty of air and light and 
sunshine by all means, but it is not detrimental to health, that the 
broiling sun should be shut out of a room in which the mother must 
sit at her monotonous and ever recurring task of darning little socks 
and mending little trousers. 

The selection of the room itself is of utmost importance. A 
lady, with three little children, was harassed and distressed by con- 
stantly recurring diptheric symptoms in one or the other of them ; 
and frequently in all three. The physician was baffled as to the 
origin of the disease. At last he said: "Where do these children stay 
during the day time?" ''With me, down in the basement dining 
room. I have my own work to do, so I have made a sitting room of 
the dining room, and keep my sewing-machine there." The mystery 
Avas explained. All day long, the three little tots were kept under 
ground, as it were, like potatoes in a cellar. He had them removed 
to an upper room, and the change was almost magical. The mother, 
of course, had added care, in running upstairs, first to see that the 
children were safe, then down to see that the pudding did not burn ; 
but it is to be doubted that her care was as much increased as it was 
by the constantly recurring symptoms of diptheria, when it was not 



THE NURSERY. 



113 




GIFTS FROM GRANDPA 



114 QUEEN OF HOME. 

only necessary to keep one child separated from the rest, but to pro- 
vide a safe place for the other two. 

If possible, a nursery should have in it an open fire-place, in 
which a constant fire should be kept burning for purposes of ventila- 
tion, no matter what the other processes of heating may be; but 
should it be possible to have an open fire-place, by all means have a 
reliable fender in front of it, to prevent any possibility of accident. 
It is a great convenience also, as well as a measure of sanitation, for 
many times, many steps are saved by having an available fire. An 
iron to heat, baby's milk to warm — a thousand things wanted daily 
and hourly, may be prepared by the open fire. Next to the open fire, 
a stove is best, as by starting up a good fire, one may open the stove 
door, and thus have partial ventilation, To keep up a constant 
ventilation, have a board made, which shall be about five inches wide 
and of such length that it will fit snugly in the bottom of the window 
when the sash is raised, leaving no open space. 

When the window is closed down upon this strip, there is a 
constant circulation ©fair at the middle of the sash, while below all is 
tight and draughts are avoided. 

If you are planning a nursery, plan plenty of closet-room. If you 
are 7naki7ig a nursery in a house already occupied, and in which 
closet-room is deficient, make your closets according to the fashion 
recommended and explained in a foregoing chapter. 

The nursery, for purposes of convenience to the mother, should, 
be immediately next to the bath room, in order to save steps, but the 
sanitation of the bath room should be most carefully looked after, and 
the room itself kept scrupulously clean, and the children should be 
early taught that they are not to go into the bath room and dabble in 
water. Severe colds have resulted from children being carelessly 
allowed to do this kind of thing. Obedience is a thing that can and 
should be taught in the very earliest stages of a child's life, and the 
mother cannot too soon begin to teach a child, what may, or what 
must not be -done. And emphatically the child must not play 
in the bath room. 

Given, a nursery, the most important object of interest therein 
is ''Baby." She may be afflicted with strabismus and a large mouth- 
she may have no nose worth mentioning and hands like birds' 
claws — she may in fact, to the casual observer, resemble noth- 
ing so much as a frog — but to us she is beautiful. She may rule 
by force of lung — she may pound us into submission with her 



THE NURSERY. 



115 




tiny fist, or she may coo her way into the inmost recesses of 
the hearts of those around her, but all the same she is ruler absolute, 
■ the queen around whom all things centre, and a very tyrant. 

For her the doors are shut, though others roast — for her the 
windows are opened, though others freeze, 
and daily and hourly household matters 
are regulated to suit "baby's" wants. 

But first, baby must be dressed, and 
**How shall I make baby's clothes?" is 
a question which has caused many a 
young mother anxious moments, untold 
in number. 

Mother tells what she had, mother-in- 
law tells what she had — grandmother 
insists on many things that were neces- 
sities when she was a young mother — till in the "multitude of coun- 
selors" there is not wisdom, but chaos, and the young autocrat bids 
fair to be unclothed for some time, unless the perplexed young wife 
be a woman of good common sense, and finally concludes to do her 
best, or to seek advice from a disinterested but reliable party. Spite of 
the fact that your best friend, O mother ! never had less than twelve 
long dresses for her babies, don't consider these a necessity. Indeed, 
there are nearly always too many clothes made for an infant any way. 

Have enough good, warm, soft clothing by all means, but remem- 
ber that a multitude of gathers and ruffles and embroidery, only 
mean vexation to the child and weariness to the mother. How fool- 
ish, how exceedingly foolish it is, for a young mother to trick her 
infant out every day in dresses which it takes hours to wash and 
iron, if done properly ; and surely, poorly ironed finery is worse 
than none at all. 

Make the clothes loose and simple, and comparatively short. 
Many babies wear dresses, the weight of which, by reason of their 
length, is too much for their frail bodies to support. If the feet are 
well covered, say by eighteen inches of clothing, it is all that is really 
necessary ; after that every added inch is a question of taste (or 
ignorance) . 

The flannel used should be of the softest and finest, and all 
seams should be carefully and closely "cat-whipped" down, so as 
to avoid all possibility of roughness. It should likewise contain a 
little cotton, as all-wool flannel will grow harsh in time with frequent 



ii6 



QUEEN OF HOME. 




CLASPING TIXV UaInDS. 



THE NURSERY. 117 

washing, though if washed in cold soap-suds, it will retain its first soft- 
ness very much longer. 

All pins should be tabooed, even safety-pins, and there should 
be no buttons upon the back of an infant's clothes, when it can be 
avoided, The dresses, of course, must have buttons on them, but 
these should be very small, and of lace or linen. The petticoats 
should not open either at the front or back, but be very loose, and 
button up on both shoulders. Thus equipped, the infant is as com- 
fortable as we can make her. 

A baby that is sweet and clean, and comfortable and warm, is 
well-dressed no matter how plain its clothes are. 

Comfortably dressed, the next thing is to find a name for the 
new treasure, and right here comes a grand opportunity for a family 
fracas. Mother wants the child called '' Hepzibah," because her sainted 
mother bore that name. Mother-in-law wants her called Rebecca, for 
some equally good reason. So Paul and Virginia compromise by 
giving the child both names, comforting themselves with the reflection 
that they can call her ''Bessie" or ''Beppa," or some other of the ridicu- 
lous ''make-shifts," so much in vogue at the present day, 'only to 
discover after they have the child successfully christened that they 
have not only pleased neither, but have offended both mothers-in-law\ 

One of the great mistakes in life, is to give a child one name and 
call it by another — an abbreviation of the original name, I mean. A 
pet name is one thing, and is engendered by a feeling of tenderness, 
but it should be such as is used only in the child's immediate family. 
To name a child " Helen," and call her " Nellie" habitually, whether 
speaking of or to her; or "Louise," and call her "Lulu," or 
" Lydia," and call her " Lillie," is all a mistake. It teaches the child 
a certain lack of self-respect — subtle and small perhaps, but lasting. 
A child's real name should be part of her individuality, and she should 
never be permitted to sign herself anything but her proper name. 
The naming of a child is a thing to which more thought should be 
devoted, than is usually given. It is not well to give the name of 
any person living, for you cannot calculate as to the future action of 
either party, nor what occurrences may arise to cause an unpleasant 
feeling to either on account of joint interest in a name. We can all 
readily imagine instances where much bitterness would be added to 
a family feud, by the thought that one party or the other was christ- 
ened in that way. Many a father or son has cursed the day that 
gave the two the same name. Many a "good old-fashioned name" 



ii8 



OUEEN OF HOME. 



has been given to a child because it was ''good enough" in those 
days, without reference to the fact that in these, it picked the child out 
from among his fellows, and made him a subject of ridicule. Give 
a child a good euphonious name, teach him to respect it and him- 
self, teach him that it is his individually, and that on him alone 




rests the duty of making it honorable, and then — call him by it. 
Now comes the trying task of washing her royal highness. 
Much of the difficulty that young mothers experience in this task, 
arises from the fear of hurting such a very tender and delicate 
little morsel of humanity. While this is a very natural, it is a 



THE NURSERY. 119 

groundless fear. Ordinary care exercised in handling a child, will 
prevent its being hurt, while very tender handling instils into its 
unconscious mind (if one maybe allowed the expression), a sense of 
insecurity. This idea once fastened in an infant's mind, the bathing 
hour is sure to be a regular siege each day. 

'T don't see how it is," sighs some weary little mother, flushed 
with the efforts of the last hour, "baby never cries when mother washes 
her, and I'm just as careful as I can be." It is the "just as careful" 
that works the ruin. Handle the baby firmly but without fear. 
Washing an infant is very much like driving a horse — if you are 
afraid, the horse is perfectly conscious of the fact — and if you distrust 
yourself, baby will distrust you also. 

Do not stoop over to wash the child, but have its bath-tub upon 
a chair or stool, at a height entirely convenient to yourself If Paul 
be anything of a mechanic, he can construct for you, something which 
though it may not be a "thing of beauty," will certainly be a "joy 
forever." Let him construct for you a little carriage, something after 
the manner of a child's express wagon. Upon this you can place 
the bath-tub. Fill this in the bath room, by means of a pail, with the 
required water and wheel it into the nursery. If the bath-tub has, as 
it should have, a spigot, it will be the work of but a few moments 
to empty it again, by means of the pail, when it has been returned to 
the bath room by means of its wheeled carriage. By this means the 
mother is saved all that terrible lifting of the weight of water. Many 
an irreparable injury has been done by just such lifting as this, and 
as I have said and reiterated, it is a mother's solemn duty to save 
herself when she can. 

Provide yourself with every necessary article before you begin your 
task. Don't either catch her up and wrap her in a blanket while you 
go to hunt the soap or towel, nor leave her soaking in the water. 
You don't know what may happen to her while you are gone, nor 
what emergency may arise with yourself. Among the things most 
important, is what is commonly termed a blanket, but to my mind, the 
most convenient form of this article, is a very long, wide, white can- 
ton-flannel apron. This is warm and soft, and soaks up the moisture, 
and, being in the form of an apron fastened to the mother's waist, it 
cannot well slip down and leave the little one exposed to the air. 

The question of soaps, powders and unguents, is one upon which 
I shall hardly touch, for it is one which the physician should settle. 
I will only say, beware of most so-called baby powders — one of the 



I20 



OUEEN OF HOME. 



very best things you can use in ordinary cases, being simple corn-starch 
with a modicum of orris-root added, to give it a faint odor of violets. 
But there is one thing I must impress upon you, and that children 
differ as materially in the construction of their skins as they do in that 
of their brains ; and what may prove very healing to the flesh of one 
child, may be very irritating to another. 

A well-regulated baby should go to sleep after she has been 
bathed and fed, but they don't always, by any means. Be very care- 
ful, however, when the latter is the case, to avoid all draughts, as most 
serious results may follow carelessness in this respect. 




CHAPTER II. 




AVOIDABLE DEFORMITIES. 



NE of the things of the utmost importance, if 
a mother would have her children grow up 
symmetrical in form, is to watch her babies with 
unceasing vigilance during their sleep. One 
able physician declares that to carelessness 
upon this point is due most of the shortness 
of limb not produced by actual disease. *'Note 
your child well," said he to a young mother, ''when 
he is asleep, if you would have him grow up straight. 
You will find that from your own habit of most con- 
veniently holding him on one particular side, that 
he will soon grow to prefer to lie upon one side 
only. 

"You will find, too, that during his sleep he will 
habitually draw up one leg, if lying upon one side — the 
other leg, if lying upon the other. Turn him often and straighten 
his legs. This will not only conduce greatly to his comfort but much 
to your own, for frequently when a baby stirs, and seems inclined to 
wake, it is because the soft little limbs have grown tired from lying in 
one position. Turn him over — not too gently, for by this very caution 
you will be most likely to waken him — draw down his leg, shake and 
smooth his skirts, give him a pat and he is off for another hour's nap." 
Indeed, I have known babies treated in this way to sleep along 
for fivG or six hours at a stretch, when otherwise they would have 
been up, perhaps, in a half hour, with only a half nap. This process 
can be repeated with safety just so long as the baby will stay asleep. 
Very often babies waken, not because they wish to rouse at all, but 
because they want to turn over and do not know how to accomplish it. 
It stands to reason that a child habitually lying upon one side, 
should habitually draw up one particular leg, thus producing, while the 
bones are soft and forming, a lesser or greater difference in length, and 



122 QUEEN OF HOME. 

next, children should be put into short clothes as soon as practicable. 

The garments should be so short as to insure at least a moderate 
degree of freedom of action. It will do the baby good to go naked a 
little while each day, to kick and fence at her own sweet will. Let 
the room be warm, hot if you choose, but — let the baby kick. Not 
only will her lower limbs be developed by this freedom of action, but 
her lungs will be benefited, her chest be expanded and her muscles 
be strengthened in all parts of her body. 

Let us now pass on to the time when slight defects, either created 
through ignorance or inborn, have taken hold of the system. 

A mother notices that her four-year-old daughter is acquiring a 
habit of holding her head slightly upon one side. Still it looks '' cute," 
and the child is permitted to do it, without any idea upon the mother's 
part, that there may be a cause for the habit. It grows upon her, 
however, and becomes confirmed. By the time she is seventeen, one 
shoulder is higher than the other, and she no longer "looks cute" — 
she only looks hopelessly awkward — and the mother tries, by scolding 
and threats of various processes, to break up the "ugly habit." Lo! 
by some accident it is suddenly discovered, that in all these years, 
while this "cute," "ugly habit" has been forming, the daughter has 
been using but one eye, the vision of the other being defective to such 
a degree as to be practically useless. Had she had spectacles or 
judicious treatment for her eyes when the habit first set in, she would 
have been as straight as any of her neighbors. 

Mary Ann complains of a pain in her back. Her mother says : 
" Nonsense ! Girls ought not to have any backs." But Mary Ann's 
"back" remains a fixed fact, nevertheless, spite of maternal protest. 
Aunt Jane suggests a porous plaster, and, the pain growing no better, 
a porous plaster is forthwith clapped on, though her mother "don't 
approve of coddling young girls." No relief! Grandmother suggests 
iodine, Uncle John a blister, and, to make assurance doubly sure, now 
that she has set about the business of curing Mary Ann, the mother puts 
on both, much to Mary Ann's discomfort, but nothing at all to her relief. 

Slightly alarmed and almost convinced that Mary Ann's " back" 
is no fiction, the advice of a physician is asked. He measures and 
questions, and says finally : " Madame, your daughter's legs are not 
the same length. Raise the heel of one shoe and the difificulty will be 
obviated. Every time she takes a step she wrenches her spine and 
jars her whole body. This in time may produce permanent injury." 

The advice is taken, the mother meanwhile blissfully ignorant of 



THE NURSERY. 123 

the fact that, probably, to her own ignorance alone, is Mary Ann's 
defective leg due, and the daughter is restored to comfort ; and the 
family, who "always noticed that she set one heel down kind of 
heavy, but thought it was only a bad habit," is convinced that Mary 
Ann's "back" was no sham. 

It is the lot of the main body of humanity to endure much phys- 
ical suffering, but it is the solemn duty of parents to see that their 
children are saved from unnecessary suffering as far as in them Hes, 
and careful investigation and adjustment of such discrepancies as this, 
may save your son or daughter years of discomfort. 

Perhaps from no other unsuspected infirmity, does such a variety 
and complication of diseases arise, as from defective vision. This 
variety is almost infinite. It is the marvel of the many that spectacles 
are so prevalent in our day, and the wiseacres assign first one reason 
and then another — one laying it to tight lacing, another to high- 
heeled shoes, forgetting that spectacles are as common among men 
as among women. All combine, however, to attack the oculists and 
declare that it is all nonsense anyway, and merely an effect of the 
imagination upon which the oculists are but too willing to play. But 
the truth never seems to strike this same general public (the truth 
for which the spectacled ones have need to be so thankful), that the 
scientists who, for love of their kind and their profession, have 
devoted their lives to the study of the subject in all its ramifications, 
have discovered a new way to treat old diseases, i. e., by way of the 
eye, instead of by way of the stomach. 

<jeorge grows pale and thin and stoop-shouldered. As soon as he 
commences to study, he becomes sick at the stomach. As this sick- 
ness seems to accompany the effort of studying only, his father rather 
fancies that it comes on because the boy is obliged to go to school ; 
and he seems inclined to force matters with his son. But the mother 
knows the reality of the boy's suffering. So she doctors him for 
indigestion — a little soda, a little lime-water, a little mint — all the* 
harmless remedies in fact that are written in the mother's pharma- 
copoeia, not forgetting to give him a liberal dose of warm water once 
in a while, as an emetic. But all this care does him no permanent 
good. The moment George begins to study again, or to read, the 
old trouble is renewed. So often does this occur that his mother 
determines upon the advice of someone wiser than herself. 

"Madame," says the physician, "your boy has no more dys- 
pepsia than you have. He is simply so near-sighted that he can 



124 QUEEN OF HOME. 

hardly see beyond his nose. Get spectacles for him. He is growing- 
round-shouldered and hollow-chested from nothing else but a con- 
tinued effort to see. His sickness of stomach arises from the same 
cause. Take away his peppermint and give him glasses instead, or 
what is better, put him into the hands of some professional oculist. 
The nerves are all in sympathy, and what affects his eyes will 
likewise affect his brain and stomach." The advice followed^ the 
boy is forthwith cured of his dyspepsia. 

In one case, well known to the writer, a young girl was treated 
during three or four years for violent spells of headache. She took 
pounds of pills, pints of medicine, for her head, for her stomach, for her 
spine, for malarial disorders, for neuralgia, for bile. Her hair grew 
gray, and she bade fair to sink into chronic invalidism. A brilliant 
idea struck her, and in three months, spectacles had done for her what 
dosing had not done for her in three years. There had been a con- 
stant strain of the nerves of eye and brain, while the poor girl had 
been trying to fit together two eyes of entirely dissimilar focus. 

There is one more point upon which it would perhaps be well to 
speak before closing this paper — the absolute injury to personal 
appearance caused by permitting a child to suck her thumb. There is 
perhaps no ill-effect from this during infancy, but if the habit is allowed 
to continue (as in many cases it is), until the jaw begins to expand to 
make room for the second teeth, the shape of the mouth is ruined for 
all time. The upper incisors are pushed outward and their inner 
edges pushed upward in many cases, so that the lower edges, instead 
of forming a straight line, as they should, make a ''V," lesser or 
greater in proportion to the habit, and the natural conformation of the 
mouth, Where you see this peculiar conformation of jaw in an adult, 
you will in nearly every case, see a corresponding lack of symmetry, if 
not positive deformity of the thumb. 

A mother who prides herself upon her little daughter's pretty 
mouth, or hand, or both, would do well to see that she is prevented 
from deforming them by this habit. 

It is not necessary to fly to a physician with every little irregu- 
larity you may detect in your children, but it is necessary to note every- 
thing ; and when you are convinced that your child is falling into a fixed 
habit of some kind, you may be sure that there is some cause, mental 
or physical, for that habit, and the earlier such defect is corrected the 
better and happier your child will be. You may be saving your 
son or daughter life-long suffering, yourself life -long regret. 



CHAPTER III. 



HOLIDAY EVILS. 



YOUNG mother, calling- upon a neighbor, found 
her busy cleaning away the Christmas presents. 
''What are you doing, Mary ? " 
" Putting away the Christmas toys." 
''What a pity! Why don't you let the 
children have them and get all the good out 
of them they can ? My children have such a 
good time with theirs. But, oh dear," she 
added after a moment, with a sigh, "I sometimes wish 
Christmas never came around, they get so cross." 

" Exactly, Clarice ; and it is to prevent just this 
very 'crossness' that I do as I do. My children have 
very kind friends, and receive many presents — some 
of them, in my estimation, entirely too handsome for 
children to destroy. During Christmas week, when 
their little friends are coming in and out, I have every- 
thing around the nursery, that they may have the pleasure of showing 
them. But after the tree is down, I gather up the toys together, and 
oblige the children to make a choice of two toys apiece. The rest 
are put away. At the end of a week they may have two more, but 
the first two must go back in the closet. By this means I have ever 
in hand a stock of new toys and amusements. In cases of sickness 
I get down the whole stock, and many a day have I had occasion to 
bless this fund of amusement for the sick little ones. The very 
novelty of it all, half cured their ailments. Very often, too, when I 
have the time, I invent or make, and lay away, some 'rainy day' or 
' case of sickness ' amusement, and while it may possess but little 
intrinsic merit or worth, it is always valuable for its rare appearance, 
and serves a good purpose." 

In these days we are proud to note, among the improvements 




126 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



of the age, the Improved condition of children — the thought that is 
displayed for them. No longer does the world resound with " Good 
enough for the children," but too many toys are a doubtful good. 
Not only that, but they are a real evil. 

After the Christmas season there is always an increase of sick- 
ness among children. This is generally ascribed to the sweetmeats. 
But to the sweetmeats alone is not due one-half. The children are 
surrounded by scenes of excitement — school entertainments, Sunday- 
school entertainments, Christmas festivals. New Year's parties, and 




a multiplicity of presents which they hardly know how to play with. 
The brain is under a constant strain of excitement, the blood deserts 
the stomach to feed the over-stimulated brain, and the deserted 
stomach finds it weary work coping with the sweetmeats which it 
would perhaps have had little difficulty in digesting under more 
favorable circumstances. 

Mothers and philanthropists who do so much for the blessed 
little ones, beware of undue excitement if you value your children's 
health and digestion, and your own peace of mind. 



THE NURSERY. 



127 



On the question of toys alone, there might much be said. 
Children have too many toys, and there Is too much variety in them. 
Too much Is done to amuse, and too litde left to the effort of the 
child's own mind. 

When a mother begins to amuse her baby, let her take heed 
how she does It, lest at the same time she is sowing the seeds 
of future trouble for herself, and nervous restlessness for the child. 
One grand law Is, when a child is amused let her stay amused. 
When the mother finds that tapping the scissors on the table is a 




thing of interest to the baby, let her continue to do just that, and 
nothing else, just so long as the baby will continue interested. Do 
not tap on the chair, or on the stove, or make any change of any 
kind, as long as you can possibly stand the monotony. It is very 
wearing, I know, and dreadfully trying to the nerves, but not half so 
bad, I can assure you, as it will be some months later, when you find 
you must go from one thing to another in rapid succession, bee: use 
baby so soon gets tired of one thing. You will thus, even at th -ee 
months of age, be beginning to inculcate In your baby one of , he 
most valuable lessons a mother can teach a child — steadiness of pi r- 



12. 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



pose. Mothers realize ordinarily only too late, If ever, the Immense 
importance of beginning ea7Hy to establish in their children such 
habits and principles as it is most desirable they should possess. 

Of these, a habit of self-amusement and of making the' best 
of surroundings, is one of the most valuable. A rag doll and a few 




blocks have made many a child happier, than all the steam engines 
and soldiers, and rocking-horses, and balls, and balloons that money 
could buy. Indeed, an old coffee-mill and some clean Indian meal 
have been an infinite source of amusement, and one grandmother I 
know, used to confer untold delight by giving the younger ones a 



THE NURSERY. 



129 



hammer and a box of small nails, and sending diem out in die yard 
to pound them into the seat of an old wooden bench. A little 
euidance would teach the children to form the nail-heads into stars 




and crescents, or bunches, or twos and threes, and thus, besides 
being an infinite source of amusement, they were a source of 
education. 
9 



I ;o 



QUEEN OF HOME. 




DOLLS IN THE ORIENT. 



THE NURSERY. 131 

Let the nursery be a place devoted to the babies and their 
amusements, but let the amount of toys be limited, and never under 
any but the most unavoidable circumstances, interfere with a child 
of any age that is quietly and legitimately amusing itself. 

The question of children's plays is one of far more import than 
is generally imagined. The child who plays at " Dolls' Wedding," 
and has the minister, and the ceremony, and the wedding dress, and 
the groom, and all the other attendants upon such an occasion, learns 
to regSLvd 7na7^7^za£e as a simple ceremony, which is to be thought 
of as a time for '' fuss and feathers," and festivity and fun. The 
longer the train, the more numerous and costly the gifts, the happier 
the bride ! By the time the girl comes to be married herself, the 
first sweetness and solemnity is worn off, so often has she "played 
getting married" when she was a child. 

To the child who is permitted to bury one of her dolls and put 
the rest in mourning for the occasion, the wearing of the mourning 
garb becomes a hollow mockery, and when she dons it herself for a 
deceased relative, it is no longer a badge of grief, nor evidence 
of respect for the dead — it is merely a question of public opinion, 
and whether it may happen to be becoming. 

To the children who are permitted to ''play church," to preach, 
to sing, to pray, religion must grow to be a very peculiar thing, to 
say the least. How parents with any idea of the sacredness of 
religious duties can permit such things, is a mystery. 

Cut out with ruthless hand, all that is sacrilegious, vulgar or 
unrefined from the children's play ; give them plenty of food for 
wholesome fun — give them plenty of opportunity to amuse them- 
selves and each other by their ingenuity and simple devices, and you 
will have a happy set of children. 

'' But would you cut out dolls from a little girl's play? " 

Not by any means ! As educators, they are the greatest 
institution that ever was invented. All nations under the sun have 
recognized this fact, and to-day, from Greenland to Hindostan, from 
Tartary to California, are to be found puppets belonging to the 
growing girls. And our own little girls in the far west, or any other 
region where toys are scarce, may still be seen nursing the corncob 
or rag baby of early times. Her doll is at once her counselor, her 
confidante, her slave. 

Through her doll, the miniature woman learns to sew, to plan, 
to make, to mend ; and many a mother can trace present ease of 



132 QUEEN OF HOME. 

performance of some daily task, back to experience gained in caring 
for her doll. 

Let them have all the belongings for their baby that you can 
afford. Give them a bed and bedding, and let them make their own 
sheets and pillow cases. Provide them with all material, but let them 
do their own work, and no mother will ever regret the time spent in 
teaching her daughter to sew for her doll. 




CHAPTER IV. 



CHILDREN S NERVES. 




HILDREN'S nerves! Nonsense! Children 
haven't any nerves!" 

" O but they have!" 

"Well, they oughn t to have any, then !" 

Ah, that may be, or at least, perhaps, we 

ought not to be able to recognize their action in 

a child, but on Avhom is the blame to rest that 

we are constantly compelled to note the fact that 

X^^^Y children do have nerves ? 

^rl^i^ Upon the parents, without doubt, (unless the de- 

plorable facts of nerves be developed by some untoward 
accident over which the parents have no control.) 
That nerves are given to each human organization is 
something no sane person will deny ; and, in a sound, 
healthy condition, they perform a very important part in 
the physical economy, being those parts of our system 
by which we especially "live and move and have our being." But, 
when by circumstances or careless rearing, these same nerves have 
been rendered hypersensitive, then indeed are they a curse. 

So closely is the whole economy of the nervous system con- 
nected that it is absolutely impossible to abuse the set of nerves in 
one part of the body without the effect being more or less remotely 
felt in every other part, in the course of time. 

But that which more nearly and quickly affects the whole 
system, is abuse of the nerves of the brain. Hence the especial 
necessity of keeping the brain of a child as quiet as possible. I do not 
mean to restrain the child from the normal excitement of acquiring 
knowledge of all kinds ; I allude at present solely to rude or violent 
shocks ; and more especially do I refer to the habit of startling 
children, "just to see them jump." 



134 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



A parent can hardly compute the train of evils which may follow 
from permitting one child to start out at another unexpectedly from 
some dark corner ; nor can such a practice be too severely con- 
demned. Parents themselves, will often run ahead, hide behind 
the door and jump out with a "Boo!" just as the child reaches the 
spot. It seems strange that parents can be so criminally thoughtless, 
but so, unfortunately, it is. The child may laugh and enjoy the fun 
at the time, but the effect remains. And where such tricks are 

encouraged or 
permitted, the 
amount of ner- 
vous strain and 
mental torture or 
excitement, un- 
dergone by the 
more sensitive, 
from the expec- 
tation of being 
startled at any 
moment, is be- 
yond calculation. 
Many children, 
too, for some 
reason, are afraid 
of the dark 

It is due to two 
causes. Some 
children are ap- 
parently born 
with this fear. 
Hence the first 
cause. 

The second 
cause is the inju- 
dicious training 

of an ignorant nurse, or a mother, who has sought to frighten the child. 
If a mother discovers a child to be afflicted (for it is indeed an 
affliction) with this disease, (for it certainly is a disease of one set of 
nerves), let her not seek to rectify the evil, either by ''firm treat- 
ment" or ridicule. Either course is much to be deprecated. If a 




THE NURSERY. 135 

child be found to have an unreasonable fear about anything, the very 
best course is to take no notice of it, so as to make no circumstance 
of the fact. Then gradually, by example show the child how unrea- 
sonable is such a fear. 

Some children are very much afraid of horses. Don't oblige such 
children to touch a horse. But whenever occasion offers, in the pres- 
ence of such a child, pet and pat a horse without seeming to notice 
the fact that the child is afraid. By degrees your example, if she have 
perfect faith in her parents, will have such an effect upon her that she 
herself, almost without knowing it, will do the same thing, unless the 
fear be one of those inexplicable ' ' rooted aversions ' ' which nothing can 
erase. 

The same system can be practiced with those children who are 
so unfortunate as to be afraid of the dark. 

Try sitting with the child from the latest light, on through twi- 
light into the dark, talking to her pleasantly the while. Perhaps after 
a few times of such treatment you can say: ''Wait here a moment, I 
am going to get a lamp." Perhaps she will stay, but if she does not 
feel inclined so to do, don't force her. Wait a few days longer. 
Try sitting in the absolute dark some evening, and when she calls to 
know where you are, say quietly, '' Here I am." '' But you have no 
light." "No; I like to sit in the dark." "But I can't find you." 
"Listen to my voice now, and see if you can't tell where I am, and 
then see if you can't come straight to me without the use of your 
eyes." In the interest of trying to do something and feeling that you 
are near, almost all fear is lost and the battle won. Then is the time 
to tell her quietly that it is foolish to be afraid, but that you know 
and thoroughly understand how she feels, and that you hope that some 
day she will have conquered the trouble. If you can recall for her 
benefit, some time when you were just so foolish, it will do her a tre- 
mendous amount of good, and you will be bound together more 
closely by a bond of sympathy. 

Next, don't allow your children to be tickled, if to ever so small 
a degree, under the chin, round the neck, anywhere. It is ruinous to 
a child's nerves ; and thoughtless young mothers who tickle their 
babies to bring out the "lovely smile," do an immense amount of 
irreparable mischief, and are storing up for their children numerous 
future ills. 

In short, let children alone as much as possible. To amuse one's 
self, or any one else, at the expense of one's children in any way, is 



136 



QUEEN OF HOME. 




THE GOOD-NIGHT LESSON. 



THE NURSERY. 137 

to encumber one's self with a debt to nature which there is never 
going to be any possibihty of repaying. 

One great source of nerve disturbances, is putting children to bed 
in the dark. Because, your mother, or even your grandmother, did 
it, is no reason for yotc persisting in it. And can you not remember 
the time when all the terrors of the dark were on you ? Can you not 
remember now, with what horrible shapes, the dark was peopled ? 

"O mamma!" exclaimed a little boy who had been frightened 
early in babyhood by a wicked little nurse, "when I look into the 
dark I see all sorts of things ; and they scare me !" 

"What * sorts of things,' my baby?" 

"Why, little lions with stiff, short hair ; and all that kind of thing ! " 

Would any mother be willing to take the responsibility, if she 
could only realize it, of the present suffering and after-effects of 
putting off by himself, alone and m the dark, a baby, whose imagina- 
tion peopled the outside world with shapes that were as terrifying to 
him as that? 

It is certainly well for children to go to sleep in the dark, but 
they must not be forced to do so, if you would obtain the best result 

''Tired Nature's sweet restorer, balmy sleep." 

Children, as grown people, should prepare for sleep in a calm 
frame of mind ; and a child whose mind is even disturbed (let alone 
terrified), is deprived of one of the best remedies in nature's phar- 
macopoeia. "But I don't put mine to bed ; they go themselves. I 
start them upstairs when the time comes ; and that is the last I see of 
them till morning." 

Well! perhaps that is a good plan, but I shouldn't like to do it. 
Do you know, mother, that you are missing the v^ry moment, the very 
opportunity, that is to make or mar your children's lives? Don't you 
know that the heart that has been hardened all day long in the sun- 
light, begins to fail when night comes, and the little sinner longs, of 
all things, to confess and be forgiven before going to sleep? Don't 
you know that a word then, will, like a key, unlock the secrets of the 
little breast? Don't you know that lessons taught thefi, remain 
more immovably fixed in a child's memory than those taught at any 
other hour of the day! O guard, then, carefully the "children's 
hour!" See that you improve it to the best of your ability and their 
good, and do not be afraid to go in and give even your half-growa 
son a "good-night kiss." It will make none the less a man of him, 



138 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



and many and many a time in future years, he will hesitate to do 
some wrong because he remembers the time when "mother kissed 
him orood-niorht and tucked him in." 

'*One more good play ; then a romp with father," and the 




troop are off to bed — in most cases, to sleep soundly until the light 
wakens them next morning." 

Many a mother is agitated over the question as to whether she 
may "cuddle" her baby to sleep, or whether she must stoically put 
it to bed by itself at a prescribed hour. 



THE NURSERY. 139 

Well, you can, of course, take your own way for it, but most 
mothers wouldn't miss the sweet recollection of the "cuddling" they 
gave their babies, and unless your babies are unreasonable in their 
demands, I think that in future years you will feel as they do about it. 

The mistake made by many women is in holding the little one 
too long. A child should never be held a moment after she is really 
asleep ; and quite often it is judicious to put her down before that 
point is reached. When held too long, putting her down will rouse 
her, but the first force of sleep having passed off, she will perhaps 
rouse thoroughly, and the work is all to be gone over again. 

Let the children be dressed in winter, in warm flannel night- 
dresses over their other ones. If this were more frequently done, 
sudden cases of croup in the middle of the night would be reduced 
to a minimum. How seldom one hears of such a thing in the day 
time? 

The children throw the covers off, and the chest and arms are 
exposed to the air, in only a thin covering of muslin, and soon the 
dreaded '' whoop" is heard. Nothing can be more terrifying, but its 
terrors can be greatly modified by the caution spoken of. 

Have you any idea of the restorative power of sleep and rest, 
or even rest without sleep? 

A lady once visiting a neighbor, was surprised to see in bed, the 
son, about eight years old. Knowing that the child was not sick, she 
supposed it to be for punishment, but as the relations between 
mother and child were apparently very friendly, and as the bed had 
upon it several toys and a book or two, she felt constrained to ask a 
solution of the puzzle. 

"O this is Ned's day; to-morrow it will be Lucy's," answered 
the mother. But this reply in no wise enlightened the questioner. 

''Every month," replied the mother, in answer to another ques- 
tion, 'T put each child to bed for one day. I find that they get tired 
out, and the one complete day's rest builds them up. If I did not do 
this, I should soon find them growing languid, and probably would be 
obliged to administer a tonic. But the rest restores them to a normal 
condition, and they rise next day as chipper as a cricket." 

'' But you let them have their playthings. Aren't you afraid you'll 
encourage them in laziness?" asked the neighbor, disapprovingly 
(for neither her mother, nor her grandmother, had ever taken a hand 
in such unheard-of performance as this). 

''Bless your heart, no!" laughed the mother, ''\\lhy shotddn t 



140 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



they have their playthings? They're not put to bed for punishment ; 
they're put to bed to rest. They can do just as they please, but they 
can not get out of bed, and the active young muscles have time to 
recuperate. When they get tired and cross, I might scold them, or 
I might give them a little medicine, and tell them not to run so much, 




I suppose, but if they were up and 
and dressed, they would run, and 
neither the scolding or the medi- 
cine would have any effect. Now, 
I know they are not running and 
are getting what they most need. 
I try to make these days as pleas- 
ant as possible for them ; and what most children would regard as a 
punishment, they accept with a good grace. Many an illness have I 
warded off by this plan — for I have used it always. I am convinced 
that many of the ills attendant upon childhood may be met with rest 
and proper diet." 



THE NURSERY. 



141 



So, the next day, tired, cross Lucy was put through the same 
process ; and if one might judge by the expression of the Httle girl's face 
on the third day, the remedy, as appHed, had been very effective. 

There is nothing more conducive to baby -slumber in the 
summer-time, than out-door air. In accordance with this theory, 
many children are put to sleep out-of-doors in their coaches. This 
is hardly a good plan, as the coach itself is hot with various pillows 
and paddings, and is provocative of very profuse perspiration. The 
nicest thing for baby to take her morning nap in, is a hammock. 
This can be hung up anywhere, at any time, and is light and cool. 
Hung in a corner, sheltered from draught and sun, baby is doing 
her very best for herself as she softly takes her morning nap. 

Not only out of doors, is a hammock a great convenience, but 
in the house also, providing the infant is not left in it too long at a 
time. But if a mother has her own work to do, and her child is at 
an age when it is likely to crawl off the bed and fall down stairs, it is 
a wonderful accommodation to have secure hooks put up in different 
rooms of the house, where the hammock can be hung and the baby 
put to sleep at will, and can be watched without any trouble or fear 
upon the mother's part. This is truly a '^household convenience." 




INFANCY 



/. AUBRE V DA VIS, M. D. 



CHAPTER I. 



THE INFANT. 




PON the first sight of a new-born infant everyone 
is struck by the idea of its weakness and help- 
lessness ; and we very often take improper 
methods of strengthening it. At first, it may 
be observed, that the child ought not come in 
contact with anything that may violently or too 
suddenly affect its senses ; on which account, it 
should not be exposed either to great heat or 
cold — not to strong light, nor odors of any kind, however 
grateful to adults, the unpleasant effects of which are 
sufficiently manifested by the infant itself. It is designed 
to be weak and tender, in this infant state, as is every 
object around us, which a glance at the budding leaf and 
flower, as well as the young of the inferior animals, will 
illustrate. 

They are all in their several conditions proportionately 
weak, and cannot exist without exterior support, but they 
need nothing but what nature has provided for them. Seeds require 
soil, sunshine and moisture, to make them germinate and burst forth 
into the infant plant — the same elements then nourishing it that 
caused its being. So, if the tender infant be born of healthy parents, 
proper food and nursing, with ordinary attention to screen it from 



144 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



extreme heat and cold, are the elements whose fostering influences 
it requires; if it has these it will need nothing more. I wish to warn 
mothers against the practice of giving a newly-born infant a dose 
of oil, or something equally disagreeable, as it needs nothing what- 
ever during the first twenty-four hours. Nature has provided for 




this by making the first nourishment peculiarly different from that 
which follows, and does away with the necessity for any such harmful 
practice. No baby has ever starved during this period, but many 
have died from the effects of an injudiciously administered dose. 
If you cannot resist the temptation of giving it something, let it 



INFANCY. 145 

be a little sweetened milk and water, but never anything else. 

Let the child's clothing be ample, but avoid smothering it by 
placing it under heavy covers, causing it to breathe impure air. If 
the temperature of the room is such that its face needs covering at 
all, use a thin handkerchief, or something similar, and then see that 
it does not rest on the face, but above it. If you use a flannel 
bandage around the abdomen, do not make it too tight, or allow 
the pin to come in contact with the body. These may seem trivial 
points, but many a poor child has been dosed for colic, and like 
ailments, and finally the doctor's rest has been broken, only to find a 
tight bandage or misplaced pin. Much pressure is positively injurious, 
as the soft abdomen and its contents have not been accustomed to 
such treatment, and will not now tolerate it without making a protest 
against it. 

But besides this, the infant requires freedom on other accounts ; 
the state of infancy and childhood is impatient of restraint in this 
respect, through the restless activity incident to its youth, which 
makes it delight to be in constant motion, and see everything in 
motion around it. Nature knows no other use for clothing, but to 
defend from the cold. All that is necessary, therefore, for this purpose, 
is to wrap the child in a soft, loose covering, not too heavy, to which 
ornamentation may be added without doing mischief But the 
business of dressing an infant has become a secret which none but 
adepts must pretend to understand. The child itself, however, 
discloses to us the impropriety of such dressing, by the happiness 
and delight it expresses every time its day-dress is removed and its 
night-clothes put on, which are looser and less confining to the waist 
and lower limbs. 

The method of dressing has laid the foundation for many a bad 
figure, and what is worse, of very bad health through the greater 
part of life. The infant being dressed, and having undergone such 
other little discipline as has been mentioned, is usually so far fatigued 
as to fall into a sound sleep. We will consider it as in this state, and 
leave it a while to be refreshed, while I endeavor to conduct my 
reader through the various other duties which the infant requires 
from day to day, till it happily arrives at an age free from the peculiar 
hazards of infancy. 

Cleanliness is of great importance in infancy. As a rule they 

should have a warm bath every morning. After three or four 

months, a reduction in the temperature of the water may be made, 
10 



146 



QUEEN OF HOME. 















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THE QUEEN'S TREASURE. 



INFANCY. 147 

but never give a cold bath without your physician's directions. 

Children will often suffer great discomfort from chafing of those 
parts exposed to moisture, which should be overcome by the appli- 
cation of violet or some other equally bland powder. 

A child, by a slight amount of attention, can be taught a habit 
very early in life ; in sleeping, for example, great regularity should 
be observed in placing the child in bed at stated times. It is 
altogether a foolish and unnecessary practice to rock or walk about 
with a child until it falls asleep, and the habit, once formed, is one 
very difficult to break. Begin as you mean to go on ; lay the child 
in its crib awake, and if nature requires it, sleep will soon come, but 
if not, no ordinary amount of walking or rocking will induce it. An 
infant a month old should sleep twenty out of twenty-four hours, and 
this without either being rocked or carried about. 

What has been said in regard to sleep is equally true of feeding. 
Nothing can be more pernicious to a child, as far as its comfort and 
rest are concerned, (to say nothing of the comfort of mother and 
nurse), than the practice of feeding it as a panacea for all its discom- 
forts, every time it cries or appears restless. Children for the first 
six or eight weeks should be fed every two hours, at regular intervals, 
and not at chance times as opportunity may offer. Again, both for 
the good of the child and the rest of the mother, feeding should be 
discouraged as much as possible, between the hours of eleven o'clock 
in the evening and five o'clock in the morning, and you will be sur- 
prised, after adhering to this rule as nearly as possible, to find that 
baby will disturb you very little between these hours. 

An infant should always have a bed, crib or cradle of its own, 
and should never sleep in the bed with its mother or nurse. In this 
connection, it may be noted that a cradle without rockers is to be 
preferred, and the same objections which apply to cradle rocking, 
apply with equal force to the senseless jolting upon the knee, as so 
commonly practiced. An infant should be allowed to lie in its crib a 
considerable portion of the time, instead of continually being held in 
the arms and against the person of the nurse. 

Durine the summer months, the more a child is in the fresh air, 
the better, and the same in winter, whenever the weather will permit, 
if properly and sufficiently clothed. When I say ''properly," I do not 
mean to bundle up its head so that it can scarcely breathe, and thus 
deprive it of the very benefit for which you take it out. We know 
that the request of a friend or neighbor to "see baby's feet" is 



148 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



irresistible, but many a poor child owes the initial chill of a protracted 
illness to having its poor little feet and legs exposed in an uncertain 
temperature, to gratify this foolish though pardonable request. If 
this most desirable and very necessary ''outing" is entrusted to a 
nurse, it may be well for you to observe that most of the allotted 
time is not spent in the kitchen of a more or less distant neighbor, 
instead of in the open air. 

Do not be too anxious to make your children stand or walk. 
Because one child walks at a certain time, is no reason why another 
should ; it is more a question of the strength of the child. The infant 
will endeavor to stand of its own accord as soon as its strength will 
permit, and if you attempt to force it, you run a great risk of pro- 
ducing that too frequent deformity, "bowed legs." 




CHAPTER IL 



FEEDING. 




S has been before remarked, the food of an infant 
for the first few months after birth, should con- 
sist exclusively of milk. When nature has 
refused the supply, undoubtedly our very best 
substitute is cows' milk, properly prepared. 

Arrow-root, corn-starch, and other farina- 
ceous foods are positively injurious to a child 
under three or four months of age. And I wish 
to mention here that the bulk of the artificial foods, sold 
at the drug stores, ismade up largely of these ingredients, 
and cannot be well digested by young infants. The 
essential change of starch into sugar is produced largely 
by the admixture of saliva, in chewing the food, and 
before the child has reached a certain age, this secretion 
is not only scant, but is deficient in the one constituent 
necessary to bring about this change. 
A very small quantity of one of these preparations may some- 
times be added to milk, simply to prevent the tendency to the forma- 
tion of large firm curds ; but in any considerable quantity they are 
absolutely hurtful, and dependence upon farinaceous food as a staple, 
will almost surely produce intestinal trouble. 

It will fail moreover, to supply the essential elements for the 
building up of bone and muscle. 

As a food, starch only makes fat and produces heat. 
After the child is nine months of age, milk should still be made 
the staple, but the diet may be varied by the addition of oat-meal 
boiled to a jelly, wheaten-grits, barley-flour, rice, farina, bread crumbs, 
and chicken or mutton broth. 

After a year and a half, bread and butter, baked potatoes, and 
ripe fruits may be added. But milk should still be the staple until 




I50 QUEEN OF HOME. 

three years of age. While on the one hand, confinement to one 
article of diet, unless it be pure rich milk, should be avoided, and a 
varied diet allowed, care 
should be taken, on the 
other hand, to exclude those 
substances which contain 
but little nutriment, or are 
difficult of digestion, such as 
pastry, confectionery — un- 
less of the simplest forms — 
cabbage, turnips, the skins -- 
or rinds of fruits, etc. Most 
children are fed too often and too much. The resultant indigestion 
is the fruitful cause of disorders of the stomach and bowels, and if 
such disturbance be added to the prostrating effects of summer 
weather, and especially at the teething period, a formidable complica- 
tion is presented. Too much stress can hardly be placed on the evil 
of overfeeding — a mistake so common that intelligent observers have 
estimated it as the chief cause of the mortality of infancy. It must be 
remembered that it is not the amount taken, but the amount digested, 
that is to be taken into consideration. 

No absolutely hard and fast rule can be laid down as to the exact 
quantity of food to be allowed. The amount will vary with the age 
and constitution of the child. 

Changes will be necessary on account of changing strength of 
the child, remembering that the natural digestive powers of some are 
stronger than others ; again, sickness and teething will call for 
unusual care in diet. 

As an approximate guide, it may be assumed that a healthy 
infant will require from three-fourths to one pint of milk daily during 
the first month, increasing during the second and third months to a 
pint and a half, and after that, to two or even three pints per day. 

For infants brought up entirely by hand, the addition of lime- 
water to the milk, tends to neutralize the acid of the stomach and 
prevent cOlic and distress. The addition of one or two tablespoonfuls 
is not sufficient, and a less quantity than one-fourth the bulk of the 
entire mixture, will fail to have any effect. 

To boil milk, makes it much more difficult of digestion. As long 
as milk forms the staple of the feeding, the addition of lime-water to 
each meal's allowance will be beneficial. Pure, cool — not cold — water 



INFANCY. 151 

is generally ver*}^ acceptable to an infant, and prevents it from over- 
loading its stomach in feeding, by supplying the physiological demand 
for fluids. 

It should be remembered that milk readily absorbs odors and 
septic germs, and quickly ferments and sours. It should be kept in 
scrupulously clean vessels, and intelligently guarded from all contami- 
nating influences. Unless assured of its perfect sweetness, it would 
be well always to test it with blue litmus paper, which can be obtained 
at any drug store, and which will turn red after being dipped into the 
milk, if there is any acidity about it. 

There is probably too much importance attached to the procur- 
ing of milk from one cow alone, and the advantages of this practice 
have been very seriously questioned. 

In cities, this would be impracticable, and unless your dairyman 
is thoroughly reliable, your private can will contain the usual mixture, 
and not the milk of his choice cow alone. Again, it is probable that 
a cow is subject to the same fluctuations of health that you are, and 
at times the milk will be poor or indifferent, and not nearly equal to 
the mixed milk of the herd. 

Scrupulous cleanliness of the nursing bottle is required. The 
plain white glass feeding bottle, with a rubber nipple, as sold in the 
shops, is to be preferred to all complex feeding apparatus with glass 
or rubber tubing, and the child should be encouraged to use it until 
of an age when solid or semi-solid food may be allowed. The bottle 
should never be used a second time without previous washing with 
scalding water, after which it should be filled with a solution of bi-car- 
bonate of soda ; and this should be allowed to remain in it, until it is 
again wanted for use. It is always well to keep both bottle and nip- 
ple in duplicate, and use them alternately. 

The rubber nipple should be turned inside out, after using, 
washed clean, and kept in a solution of bi-carbonate of soda until 
again needed. 

The food provided by nature contains just the right proportion 
of fats, sugar, caseine, salts, and water, and this is what we must 
attempt to approximate in preparing an artificial food. Cows' milk 
contains less fat and much less sugar, and the caseine divides up into 
large firm curds, and not into the fine flaky particles that we see 
regurgitated from the over-full stomach of the nursing infant. We 
overcome these discrepancies by adding cream, to increase the quan- 
tity of fat ; sugar of milk to increase the sugar ; and diluting with 



152 QUEEN OF HOME. 

water — preferably lime-water — to cause the separation of the caseine 
into minute particles. 

Condensed milk apparently does well in some cases, but on the 
whole is unsatisfactor)'. It contains an abundance of sugar, and 
makes fat quickly, but it is poor fat, and will not be converted into 
muscle. Babies fed on condensed milk alone, are usually very large, 
flabby, and pale, cutting their teeth ver}^ late, and showing a great 
tendency towards the development of rickets. It is often of great 
service to children with a tendency to chronic constipation, if alternated 
with the ordinary prepared bottle. In this way it exerts a laxative 
action by virtue of its large proportion of sugar. 

When circumstances make it desirable to use condensed milk, 
care should be taken that it be not used in excess. A small tea- 
spoonful is enough to make four ounces of rich milk. Barley-water 
makes a ver)^ useful diluent for this preparation. 

Far superior to condensed milk, is what is known in our cities as 
''Evaporated Milk," which makes an excellent food for infants. 

To one fluid ounce of this, add seven fluid ounces of water, 
previously boiled, making a half-pint in all ; to this, add two good 
teaspoonfuls of sugar of milk, which will make it agreeable and 
nourishing in most cases. This quantity is usually sufficient for two 
meals. 

The accurate adaptation of diet is by no means an easy task in 
many cases, and only general rules can be given, which must be 
modified in individual cases where they do not seem to be successful. 
The object is to keep up the nutrition of the body with the least irri- 
tation to the digestive organs, and that food is the best which will 
best serve these purposes. 

The following tables contain instructions, both as to what, and 
when, to feed the nursing as well as the bottle-fed baby, and it is 
hoped will be of service to most mothers, in teaching what otherwise 
can only be learned by long, and often sad, experience. 



CHAPTER III. 



ARTIFICIAL FOOD. 



HE following schedule of the diet of a hand-fed 
infant from birth upwards, will serve as a sug- 
gestive and useful guide : 

Diet during the first week, should consist 
of: Cream, two teaspoonfuls ; whey, three tea- 
spoonfuls ; water (hot), three teaspoonfuls ; 
sugar of milk, twenty grains. This portion 
should be given every two hours from Hyq o'clock in 
the morning, to eleven o'clock in the evening, and 
in some instances, once or twice during the night. 

Diet from the second to the fifth week: Cream, 
two teaspoonfuls ; milk, one tablespoonful ; sugar of 
milk, twenty grains (about one level teaspoonful) ; 
water, two tablespoonfuls. Given every two hours, 
between five o'clock in the morning, and eleven 
o'clock in the evening. 

Diet from the fifth week to the end of the second 
month: Milk, two tablespoonfuls; cream, one table- 
spoonful ; sugar of milk, thirty grains ; water, three tablespoonfuls. 
This portion to be given every two hours. 

Diet during the third month: Milk, five tablespoonfuls ; cream, 
one tablespoonful ; sugar of milk, forty grains ; water, two table- 
spoonfuls. This quantity to be taken every two and one-half hours. 
During the fourth and fifth months, increase the milk to seven 
tablespoonfuls, and give every three hours. 

Diet during the sixth month: Milk, ten tablespoonfuls ; cream, 
one tablespoonful ; sugar of milk, sixty grains ; water, two table- 
spoonfuls. This portion to be given four times daily. Two other 
meals, morning and mid-day, may be as follows : Milk, ten table- 
spoonfuls ; cream, two tablespoonfuls; Mellin's Food, two table- 




154 QUEEN OF HOME. 

spoonfuls; hot water, two tablespoonfuls. Dissolve the Mellin's 
Food in the hot water, and add, with stirring, to the previously mixed 
milk and cream. 

Through the eighth and ninth months, five meals a day will be 
sufficient, at seven, and half-past ten o'clock in the morning, and 
two, six and ten o'clock in the evening: Milk, twelve tablespoonfuls; 
cream, two tablespoonfuls ; sugar of Milk, sixty grains ; water, two 
tablespoonfuls. This portion for the first and last meals. For the 
other three meals, a tablespoonful of Mellin's Food may be added, 
or a teaspoonful of "flour ball" may be given twice daily, instead 
of the Mellin's Food — at the second and fourth meals. 

Diet of the tenth and eleventh months : First meal, seven o'clock 
in the morning — Milk, one-half pint ; cream, two tablespoonfuls ; 
Mellin's Food, one tablespoonful (or "flour ball," two teaspoonfuls) ; 
water, two tablespoonfuls. Second meal, half-past ten in the morn- 
ing — a half-pint of milk. Third meal, two o'clock in the afternoon — 
the yolk of an egg, lightly boiled, with stale bread crumbs. Fourth 
meal, six o'clock in the evening — same as the first. Fifth meal, ten 
o'clock in the evening — same as the second. On alternate days, the 
third meal may consist of a teacupful of beef-tea, containing a few 
stale bread crumbs. 

Beef-tea for an infant, is made in the following way: — half a 
pound of fresh rump steak, free from fat, is cut into small pieces, and 
put with one pint of cold water into a covered tin saucepan. 

This must stand by the side of the fire for four hours ; then be 
allowed to simmer gently (never boil) for two hours, and finally be 
thoroughly skimmed to remove all grease. 

A further variation can be made, by occasionally using mutton, 
chicken, or veal broths, instead of beef-tea. 

"Flour ball" is prepared by placing flour, preferably unbolten, 
in a muslin bag, and closing the bag so as to firmly confine the flour, 
afterwards putting it in a suitable vessel, covering it with water, and 
boiling for eight or ten hours. After removing from the water, hang 
up to dry, then remove the bag, and the outer part of the "flour ball" 
can be peeled off, exposing a centre, looking like yellow chalk. This 
can be grated and rubbed up into a paste, with a small quantity of the 
water or milk, before being added to the bulk of the food. After one 
year, the diet for a bottle-fed child will be practically the same as for 
those that have been nursed, and reference to the previous table will 
meet all requirements. 



INFANCY. 155 

During the summer months, when there is greatest danger of 
the milk being contaminated, all danger is removed by the process 
of sterilization. This is readily done by putting the milk in open 
bottles, and placing them in a perforated vessel, or on a wire screen, 
which will fit into a larger vessel, containing sufficient water to boil 
for several hours. In this way the steam will have free access to the 
milk, destroying all germs without boiling the milk. This may be 
kept up for three or four hours, and then the milk will keep for twenty- 
four hours without any danger of change taking place. 

You can have an absolutely sterilized milk by repeating the 
simple process for three consecutive days, after which the milk will 
last for three weeks without change, during the hottest weather. 

This apparatus can be readily made by any tinsmith for a nomi- 
nal sum, and can be kept on the range or oil-stove all day long, where 
every bottle, prepared according to the above table, will be made 
absolutely sweet and clean. Then it is only necessary to exercise 
care in regard to cleanliness of the rubber nipples, and a fair amount 
of judgment in other matters, to insure freedom from those very 
troublesome digestive disturbances, to which so many children are heir. 

Feed every two hours, for six weeks ; from six weeks to four 
months — every three hours. From the age of four months until two, 
four or six teeth are cut — when additional food may be given — 
every four hours. 

But under no circumstances, unless positive necessity compels, 
give an infant any food whatever, between the hours of eleven o'clock 
in the evening, and five o'clock in the morning. 

From seven or eight months, to one year, five meals : Six or seven 
o'clock in the morning — a cup of pure milk, with two teaspoonfuls 
of farina, oatmeal, rice or barley-fiour. It is well to alternate rice 
with oatmeal or farina. Eleven o'clock in the morning — milk with 
bread crumbs, milk-crackers or rusk. Twice a week at this meal the 
yolk of an egg, beaten with a teacup of milk, and beef-tea, and chicken 
or mutton broth, may be given. At about ten months, a piece of 
rare beef to suck. Two o'clock in the afternoon — one cup of milk. 
Five o'clock in the afternoon — a meal essentially the same as that 
at seven o'clock in the morning. Eleven o'clock in the evening — a 
cup of milk, if wanted. 

A healthy child between ten and twelve months, requires from 
a pint and one-half to one quart of milk, in twenty-four hours. 

From one year to eighteen months : Seven o'clock in the morn- 



156 QUEEN OF HOME. 

ing — same as before with a slice of bread or rusk well soaked in 
milk. Eleven o'clock in the morning — a drink of milk, with bread 
and butter or crackers. One o'clock in the afternoon — a cup of 
beef-tea, or piece of rare beef; chicken or mutton broth, with bread, 
rusk or milk-crackers ; a mealy potato, moistened with beef gravy ; 
one or two tablespoonfuls of light pudding, rice or corn-starch. Six 
o'clock in the evening — same as breakfast. Eleven o'clock in the 
evening — milk, if required. 

A healthy child, between one year and eighteen months, will 
take three pints of milk in twenty-four hours. 

From eighteen months to two years : Seven o'clock in the morn- 
ing — cup of milk, rusk, bread and butter ; occasionally the yolk of 
one G:gg. Eleven o'clock in the morning — a cup of milk, or rice 
and milk, with ripe fruit occasionally. One o'clock in the afternoon — 
rare beef, broth, soups not too rich, baked potatoes with gravy, 
milk or simply water as drink ; small quantities of custard or light 
pudding. Six o'clock in the evenmg — bread and butter, rice and 
milk, and occasionally stewed fruit. 

Between two and three years, the same diet may be continued, 
substituting the eleven o'clock in the morning, and one o'clock in the 
afternoon meals, for one at twelve o'clock, noon. Meat can be given 
every day, with vegetables (except cabbage, turnips, and parsnips). 
The morning and evening meals should consist principally of milk. 




CHAPTER IV. 



DIET AND CARE OF CHILDREN. 




lET during childhood will require from its 

rational guardians as much attention as 

that of infancy. The passions at this age 

overpower the instinct, and reason has not 

yet asserted its throne. 

Children should have four meals per day, 

but meat only at one, or at most, two; the latter 

when only a small quantity is allowed at once. Give 

plenty of milk, but avoid coffee, strong tea, or other 

exciting drinks. 

Once cooked, succulent meat — without sauce, and 
having very little condiments — eggs, plenty of farina- 
ceous pudding, mealy potatoes, carrots, spinach, green 
beans, rice, bread, fresh butter, roasted apples, and 
oranges, should form the staple of the nursery com- 
missariat. As to quantity, it will regulate itself to a 
certain degree. It is only in case of prominent and persistent 
excess, in one direction or the other, that we should bring adult 
reason to bear on infantile instinct. 

Avoid monotony by all means. It is a great inconvenience to 
any one in after life, to have been subjected to such a circumscribed 
bill of fare that he cannot eat this or that. Children should be 
especially guarded against family whims; and if the parents are 
conscious of prejudices against any of the ordinary foods of mankind, 
they should educate their children to take them as a matter of course. 
You will be astonished to know how ingrained some of these 
idiosyncrasies become ; indeed, after full manhood, they may be 
concealed, but are never quite overcome ; and few of the minor 
thorns in the *'rosebed" are so vexatious to oneself and others. 



158 



QUEEN OF HOME. 







SILVERY LAUGHTER. 



INFANCY. 159 

The frequency with which a mother must act as nurse to her 
sick child, induces me to make a few remarks on this important 
duty. The frequency of children's diseases is, however, not the only 
reason why I seize this opportunity to address them on this subject. 
What a difference is there between a child in perfect health, and the 
same child when ill ! When well, it is all joy, life and fun ; frequently, 
however, receiving a sudden check in the midst of its light-hearted- 
ness, causing it to cry immoderately; but after the squeezed finger, 
or other injured part, has been "kissed to make it well," or some 
other equally successful treatment has been adopted, we find the 
tears, like an April shower, dried up, once again, to give place to 
joyous sunshine of happy childhood. How very easy under such 
circumstances to attend to a child. 

But when illness comes, first the child becomes indifferent to 
what previously amused it; it loses its merriment; now and then it 
may make a fruitless attempt at playfulness, but, as its illness 
increases, it becomes more fretful ; so much so, that nothing seems 
to go right with it. It cries to be laid down, but is no sooner put 
down than it cries to be taken up again. It is thirsty, and frequently 
asks or makes signs for a drink ; but nothing you offer pleases its 
taste, and it pushes away the cup, irritated all the more by what you, 
with the most kindly feelings, have done to promote its comfort. 
This state of things continues for a longer or shorter period, but you 
hope on, bearing it all, and forgetting your weariness in your anxiety 
for the life of your little one. After a time a change comes, and 
amendment begins ; still the little one is cross and fractious, if not 
more so than ever, and it is only by degrees that all those childish 
ways return which we so much enjoy and rejoice in, and which we 
discover that illness did not destroy, but only for a season took 
away. All this is mentioned that you may not be disheartened, but 
happy in the love and interest you take in your little ones, and be 
able to observe, and be a great help to your physician, by giving him 
the result of your observations during his absence. 

Crying is the only language an infant has to express its distress. 
"The baby must be ill," is all this tells one person, but another, who 
has nursed sick children, will gather from it much more ; she will be 
able to judge whether it is suffering from its head, lungs or stomach. 
The cries of a baby with pain in its stomach are prolonged, loud and 
passionate, accompanied by the shedding of a profusion of tears, and 
the drawing up of the legs ; as the pain passes off, these are stretched 



i6o 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



out again, and with many little convulsive sobs it drops off into a 
quiet sleep. If it has inflammation of the chest, it does not cry 
aloud, it sheds no tears ; but every now and then, after a deeper 
breath than usual, or after a cough, it will give a short, sharp cry, 
which it seems to stifle before wholly finished, and this, because 




the effort makes the breathing more painful. If the disease is in the 
head, it will utter a series of sharp, piercing shrieks, and between 
whiles, a low moan or wail, or perhaps will lie perfectly quiet, as if 
dozing, till pain wakes it up again. You must notice the position in 
which the child seems most comfortable ; whether it be lying down 



INFANCY. 



i6i 



in bed, or propped up by pillows Into almost the sitting posture ; 
whether the light distresses it, and whether its general restlessness 
increases towards night. Always inform the doctor if the child has 
been delirious; If the cough has been troublesome, coming on in 
paroxysms ; if It is short, hacking, tight or loose ; whether there has 
been thirst, or a disposition to vomit. All of these points are readily 
observed, and of great value to the physician ; and you can in this 
way give him a concise and useful account of the little patient 




II 



CHAPTER V. 



DENTITION. 



HE term "dentition," as here employed, refers 
simply to the normal processes — usually begin- 
ning between the fifth and seventh months 
and ending between the twenty-fourth and thir- 
tieth months — by which 'the teeth are liberated 
from their osseous and fibrous coverings, and 
made subservient to mastication and speech. 

In this connection I will endeavor to point 
out some of the disturbances both local and sys- 
tematic, which, occurring simultaneously with teething, 
are in a large percentage of cases, due to this process. 
This is the first crisis of infancy, and will be attended 
with very little or very great suffering, as the case may 
be. Under circumstances favorable in every respect, 
one or two teeth may show without arousing the sus- 
picions of the most watchful mother. Unfortunately, 
this is a rare occurrence, and you will observe every 
degree of suffering, from a slight febrile action and 
tender gums (causing fretfulness and a disposition 
to bite on every hard substance within reach), to the most serious 
and alarming disturbances of health, often ending in convulsions. 

Always bear in mind that there are extremists who overestimate 
the danger of teething, and again there are those who underrate the 
difficulties which may attend it. However this may be, every reader 
Is in all probability aware that it is during this period that the great- 
est number of deaths occur. 

It is only reasonable, therefore, to infer that teething has a large 
share, in the production and aggravation of the derangements of 




INFANCY. 163 

health so common and so serious at this time of Hfe. The nervous 
perturbation occasioned by the eruptions of the teeth, increases 
the habihty to disease, and at the same time lessens the resistive 
power of the child. Thus it is not only more sensitive to the ordin- 
ary causes of derangement — to the impressions of cold or the 
irritation from unsuitable food — but it is also less able to combat 
disease. At this period, the brain and nervous system, the stomach 
and intestinal tract, and the circulatory and respiratory systems, 
show an increased, though varying liability to irritation. 

Other important changes are taking place at the same time, 
notably in the stomach and intestinal tract, preparing these for the 
reception and digestion of solid food, increasing the susceptibility to 
abnormal processes. For these varied reasons, slight disturbances, 
such as improper clothing, atmospheric variations, intense or pro- 
longed heat, cold or dampness, miasmata, indigestion, excitement of 
the nervous system by fright or anger, or anything which causes a 
modification in the normal standard of healthy life, may find pro- 
nounced expression in a disturbance of the otherwise physiological 
process of dentition. That multitudes of children escape in part or 
altogether the evils with which others, having feebler powers of 
resistance, are af^icted, does not disprove the theory that dentition 
is frequently a disturbing element. 

There are varying degrees of susceptibility, differences of envi- 
ronment, of hygienic care, quality of food, clothing, and habits 
taught and allowed, which enter into the maintenance of infantile 
health, the influences of which can only be approximately estimated. 
Viewing dentition, therefore, either as a principal factor in the pro- 
duction of constitutional disturbances, or as a single link in the chain 
of deranged activities, it is surely desirable that every mother should 
have a knowledge of the process. 

No other portion of the human organism offers such a complex 
association of tissues as is found in the mouth ; no other has such 
diversified physiological functions — being connected by direct con- 
tinuity of structure with the stomach, intestines and lungs, eyes, ears 
and nose, as well as being intimately connected with most of these 
organs by a very intricate system of nerves. Therefore, through 
this connection, we can account for refiex action which make per- 
fectly clear many apparently unaccountable disturbances. Examples 
of such effects, are the pallor produced by fright, and the suffusion of 
the face and neck in blushing. The body of an infant is not a 



1 64 QUEEN OF HOME. 

miniature adult organism, but is characterized by peculiarities of 
structure and function. The brain is proportionately larger than in 
the adult, but is imperfectly developed, and both it and its coverings 
are much more vascular than during adult life, and consequently we 
have a greater liability to brain inflammations than in after life. 

The abdomen is also proportionately larger, and the mucous 
membrane lining the alimentary tract is soft, vascular and extremely 
sensitive, rendering it very liable to disorder on the slightest provo- 
cation. Generally, between the fifth and seventh months, the eruption 
or cutting of the teeth begins. This is a double process, consisting 
of the gradual elongation and rising of the teeth, and the coincident 
absorption of the overlaying tissues. The gums grow thinner and 
thinner, and finally allow the teeth to escape. It is, therefore, the 
removal of tissue by absorption which allows the teeth to come 
through. If the equilibrium between growth and absorption is main- 
tained, the process will terminate without pain or danger, and if the 
tooth advances too rapidly — as is often the case — it becomes a 
mechanical irritant. Normal gum tissue is comparatively insensible, 
but when inflamed, it becomes exceedingly tender and congested, and 
if allowed to continue will pass on into suppuration. Under such 
circumstances, the slightest touch will cause great pain, and often the 
child, in attempting to feed, will jerk back its head, a manoeuvre 
which is frequently mistaken for an evidence of colic ; but a little 
observation will enable one to readily make the distinction. 

Dismiss the idea that the pain during teething is caused by 
the blunt tooth forcibly tearing its way through the tough gum 
tissue, for, as I have said before, this takes place largely by absorp- 
tion, and most of the pain and suffering is caused by a recurrent 
pressure on the nerves and blood-vessels supplying the pulp of the 
tooth, giving rise to a true toothache, comparable only to that 
exquisite torture experienced in after life as the result of an exposed 
and irritated nerve. 

Usually the first indication of advancing teeth is an increased flow 
of saliva, called "drooling" — a healthy manifestation, as it serves to 
keep the mouth cool and moist. There is a disposition to carry 
everything to the mouth, as if pressure relieved the irritation, and 
rubbing the gums with the finger is very grateful to the little 
safferer. Discomfort of a more pronounced type will usually cause 
a hot and dry mouth, and more or less fever will be apparent. 
Frequently a slight disturbance of the bowels will set in, which is 



INFANCY. 165 

beneficial rather than otherwise, requiring care, however, that it does 
not itself become a source of danger. Flushing of one or both cheeks 
may appear, followed usually by a slight eruption — tooth rash — 
usually on the cheek, but often extending over the whole body. 
Itching of the nose, twitching of muscles, fretfulness, restless sleep, or 
wakefulness, thirst and loss of appetite, are symptoms of increasing 
irritation. 

This may go on from bad to worse, until finally, convulsions 
ensue. In such cases medication apparently does little or no good, 
and resorting to the lancet is probably the only rational method of 
furnishing permanent relief. All measures for the child's general 
welfare should receive very careful consideration during the teething 
period. Avoid, by all means, anything producing mental or emo- 
tional excitement, draughts, nostrums, and sleeping cordials ; at 
the same time insisting upon proper ventilation, outdoor exercise, 
and proper clothing and food. Give the child unusual hygienic care, 
remembering that at any time a slight disturbance which, at other 
times would be trifling, may be attended with great danger. 

That many constitutional disturbances during teething are due 
to the resistance of gum tissue, is clearly proven by the prompt dis- 
appearance of all trouble after lancing. 

By lancing, I do not mean the barbarous practice of roughly 
rasping the gums with a thimble or the milled edge of a coin, but 
the complete severance of the intervening tissues by the sharp and 
skillfully handled lancet. These former methods have brought the 
latter into undeserved disrepute. 

The arguments used against lancing, that many children pass 
through this critical period without having to resort to the lancet, 
does not offset the fact that many children die from convulsions and 
kindred ailments, directly caused by excessive irritation during teeth- 
ing, when they might have been saved if this comparatively harmless 
instrument had been brought into use. 

Do not be deluded by the teaching, that if the tooth does not 
quickly protrude, a cicatrix or scar will form and make the tooth 
harder to cut than before, for this scar tissue has an inherent 
tendency to break down on the slightest pressure, and will cause no 
future trouble. The suggestion of lancing the gums frequently 
meets with strong opposition on the part of mothers, because of 
their dread of suffering being inflicted on their little ones. But the 
pain is very trifling, and only momentary, as may be inferred from 



1 66 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



the readiness with which a child submits to the operation after it has 
once been experienced. 

The rehef is immediate, complete, and permanent, and with- 
holding it, under such circumstances, is positively cruel. 

The following general suggestions will be of practical value : 
Proper exercise always involves a rational style of dress; for 
ill-fitting and uncomfortable clothing is soon rejected by those who 

rejoice in natural move- 
ments of the limbs. 

It is even more neces- 
sary for girls, than for 
boys, that they be pro- 
vided with a proper play 
ground, for they cannot 
be allowed to wander 
about the country like 
their brothers, and the 
"funeral processions," 
falsely called exercise, 
are almost useless. 

Money expended for 
expensive apparatus for 
exercising certain parts 
of the body, would be 
used much more judi- 
ciously in paying for the 
use of a field or lawn, 
where the children may 
romp, when so inclined. 

While strongly advo- 
cating plenty of good, 
healthy out-door exercise 
for girls, I wish to caution 
you against encouraging 
them in trying to equal 
or surpass their brothers 
in athletic feats. These attempts may be productive of a great 
deal of harm, the fruits of v/hich they will reap sooner or later. 
While it is not a commendable practice for older children to take 
violent exercise immediately after meals, it is far more harmful to 




INFANCY. 



167 



allow them to take a nap, until at least an hour has elapsed. 
That it is a good practice for boys and girls to play together, is 
made manifest by the fact of its diversifying and enlivening the girls' 
exerdse, and at the sartie time having a tendency to tone down the 
general deportment of the boys. Under these circumstances, it is 
always advisable for the parents to begin early to look after the moral 
side of these associations, lest what would be an advantage, should 
prove most disastrous to botl\ 








H:4 



HOME TRAINING. 



CHAPTER I. 



HOME EDUCATION. 



S to the exact definition of the word "education," 
there are almost as many opinions as there are 
people. 

'*'Tis education forms the common mind," 
says the wise man, but does education form the 
common mind — that is, the education of the 
present day? 

It seems a pity that, as in converting the 
heathen, so much money should be spent, so much time 
and effort consumed, and so little apparent result. 

Is not the fault, let us ask, rather that of the 
educators, than that of those to be educated? 

Have they reached the root of the matter? Are 
they not striving to deal more with theory and result, 
than with aim ? 

Then the question arises, as to what is true education. 
Does it consist in the study of many books, the recitation of many 
lessons, the ability to scan Latin poetry or detect a Greek accent ? 
Let parents and guardians put these questions to themselves. 

True education is that which best renders a man or woman, or 
even a child, able to take his or her allotted place in the world, in 
such a way as to be of the most use to the human race. And is 
this to be found in the study of books or in figuring on slates ? 




170 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



Emphatically — No ! The education which truly educates, and 
without which all other is almost as naught, is home education. 

To well conducted home editcation may the most satisfactor}^ 
results in "book-learning" be traced. Ask any teacher — let her 
period of experience be ever so limited — ask her, I say, some 
questions relative to the subject, and her reply will invariably be. that 




those among her scholars who have the best home training, even 
though their parents are ignorant, are her aptest scholars ; or, at 
least, if not as brilliant as some others, they make up in application 
and general conduct all that they lack in natural aptitude. 

Home training, home education, is the keynote to good American 
citizenship, and we householders, men and women, upon each of 
whom falls the mantle of responsibility for a greater or less number 



HOME TRAINING. 171 

of the men and women of the future, should look to our methods of 
home training with utmost care, that those men and women may be, 
in the truest sense of the word, good citizens, and of the most use 
to their fellows. 

One great defect in the home education of children is that their 
parents give them too much advice. Advice and counsel are 
generally regarded as interchangeable terms, but there really seems 
to be a difference which, though slight, is decided. Cotmselis never 
given unasked ; advice may be given in the most unprovoked manner. 
Counsel is a ''reasoning together;" advice is the individual opinion 
of the advisers. 

Children who have no parents to advise them, are regarded as 
very badly off, as indeed they are, but would not all such as need 
advice be better for counsel instead ? To offer advice is to say how 
one would act upon some particular occasion brought to note, under 
the stress of some peculiar circumstances ; but would it not be better 
for the future of that child, that counsel should be taken together — 
the circumstances, incentives and general aspect of the situation be 
closely inspected, as far as possible, and counsel given as the proper 
thing to do in all such cases, rather than as to what the adviser would 
do under these particular circumstances ? 

Further, too, if less advice and more example were given to oun 
children, both their lives and ours would not be one-half so hard. 

Listen to the mother speak of her child, ''So cross that nothing 
can be done with her," and note the fretful, whining, peevish, cross tone 
in which she herself relates the circumstances. 

Mark the father who reproves his son for speaking disrespect- 
fully to his mother, and then note the tone which that same father 
employs towards that same mother, when things are not right. 

No, clearly, what the world is waiting for — the only thing that 
will come near perfecting a reform of the world in general — is for the 
parents to be and do that which they advise their children to do and be. 

If parents speak of their children as quarrelsome among them- 
selves, you have only to note the manner in which those same parents 
speak to each other, to find the cause of the fault. 

When a parent perceives a new fault cropping out in the child, 
it is his or her first duty to see whether that child is not reproducing 
its elders, and if so, wisely say nothing, lest the child's attention be 
attracted to the parent's fault, and it is thus enabled to draw its own 
condemnatory conclusion. 



172 QUEEN OF HOME. 

Rather, let the fault be corrected in the parent, and it will 
gradually disappear in the child. 

What a mistake it is for parents to enter into hot discussion 
before their children ! And how much greater the mistake for one 
parent to intimate that the other knows nothing whatever of the 
subject under discussion, no matter what the opinion expressed. 
All discussion on household points, where opinions are likely to be 
greatly at variance, should be carefully kept for privacy ; otherwise 
the children gradually imbibe the idea that the opinion of the parent 
who does not agree with them, is of little value, and grow accustomed, 
with the natural sharpness of children, to apply to the parent who, 
they think, will comply with their wishes. When one hears a child 
say, after being refused something by one parent, "I'm going to ask 
Papa'' or, ''Mama will give it to me," one may readily determine the 
attitude of the parents towards each other ; and a most uncomfortable 
attitude it is, at home and abroad. There is nothing in the world 
more damaging to the respect a child should have for its parents, than 
this one thing ; and if parents would preserve their dignity in the 
eyes of their children, let them, at almost any legitimate cost, keep 
harmony in the household. 

In fact, all matters in which but two are concerned, are best 
.kept strictly between those two, especially if the matters aforesaid 
are a little unpleasant. In no case is this more true than in that of 
reproof. Reproof should always be administered when there is no 
third party to witness the disgrace. A reproof given at an unwise 
time has often been the means of hastening the result it was designed 
to avert. And above all, be sure that it is deserved. 

There is nothing which will so tend to ruin the disposition, 
temper, and indirectly, the character of either child or adult, as that 
of being subjected to unjust accusation. Once having been wrongly 
accused, even in a little thing, it rankles and rankles, till, to a sullen 
and morbid disposition, the offence of the accuser, no matter how 
strong the circumstantial evidence is against the accused, assumes 
enormous proportions — proportions as widely far of justice as was 
the accusation in the first place. 

An unjust accusation, if in connection with grave matters, will 
often cause a recklessness, a desperation, that fills the ungoverned 
mind w4th but one desire — revenge for the smart inflicted, combined 
with a settled determination to have the ''game as well as the name" 
— a combination leading surely to ruin. 



HOME TRAINING. 173 

It behooves parents and employers to think twice before they 
accuse either their children or their servants of some act which they 
themselves have not witnessed, lest by so doing they do an irrepar- 
able injury or make a life -long enemy. 

Passing beyond the questions of example and precept, we come 
to active "Home Training." 

"What shall I do with my girl?" writes some mother to some 
periodical, and rather fancies she has proposed a new and startling 
conundrum. 

If we might offer a humble suggestion, madame, "Teach her to 
use a hammer." "Oh," shrieks the mother, in horror, "My delicate 
Angelina ! Why, she'd ruin her hands." Yes, madame, I repeat, 
in spite of your horrified shriek, a hammer, and what's more, a saw 
and a gimlet, and so on all through the list of carpenters' tools. I 
perceive by this time, madame, that you are petrified, and have no 
more words, so I'll just go on with my discourse. You thought it 
a most delightful accomplishment when your delicate daughter 
learned to hammer out of a sheet of brass, impossible storks 
standing in highly improbable water, gazing in an apparent fit 
of "green and yellow melancholy" at some distorted cat-tails. Did 
it hurt her hands ? Not half as much as it did your ears, I'll be 
bound. She may be too delicate to dust a room, but she is not too 
delicate to use a hammer, or she would have died of the "brass 
fever" before this. Besides, if she be delicate, the exercise will be 
wholesome for her, will develop her chest, expand her lungs, make 
her blood flow more freely. 

"What would her grandmother " 

Tut! excuse me for interrupting you so summarily, but you have 
told me your grandmother was a woman of sense. Believe me, if 
she were living now, she would see the good of the girl and 
yourself in it all. 

The Grandmothers ! Dear old souls ! Bless their dear hearts 
and kindly faces ! For how many sins of omission and commission 
have they not been held responsible! 

Let her learn to "drive a nail home" deftly and securely. Let 
her learn to saw and to plane. It will not hurt her mentally or 
morally, (though it may socially, with a certain class) and it will do 
her an immense deal of good physically, besides having the effect of 
making her much more useful as a household element. Have you 
any idea what an immense amount of comfort about the house is a 



174 QUEEN OF HOME. 

woman who can drive a nail straight where it is intended to be, or 
who can place, with the aid of saw and plane, a shelf where it is 
wanted. Have you ever had to await the leisure of the ''men folks" 
for the thousand and one trifles that serve to make the comfort and 
convenience of "life below stairs." If so, you have wished a hun- 
dred times that you could do the work without waiting. It is just as 
feminine for a woman to use a hammer on something useful, as to 
use that same instrument in evolving unutterable designs from brass. 

There is implanted in every soul (albeit many times overrun 
by neglected weeds) the beautiful, hardy, healthy plant — a desire 
to be useful. 

Give a child an idea that the box he is idly constructing may be 
of use, and his work assumes new proportions in his eyes. From an 
idler and mere consumer of material, he has arisen to the dignity of 
a producer, and the pleasure of the work is tenfold, to say nothing 
of all such things being of themselves an education to the child. 
Educate your children up to the needs of the present day, and 
remember when you are inclined, on principle, to prefer the "good 
old-fashioned ways," that they were once new fashions, and perhaps 
much deprecated as such. Remember, too, that if you are not 
advancing with the age, and giving the good old lady Gvery comfort, 
luxur^^ and convenience of the day, that your purse can afford, you 
are not doing your full duty by your "grandmother." 

But the great source of the evils of the present day in girl-train- 
ing, is comprised in a few words of the matron who had trainable 
daughters : 

"To what boarding-school are you going to send your daughter 
next year, when she graduates at the academy?" 

"None." 

"Not send her to boarding-school! What on earth are you 
going to do with her?" 

' "Keep her at home and get acquainted with her." 

Aye! "Get acquainted with her." How few, how lamentably 
few women are "acquainted with their own daughters." At an early 
age they are sent to school (and rightly and properly) and the 
mother's influence, as evinced in baby associations, begins to wane. 
There the mother has been the one to please and advise with ; even 
in baby plays, companions of a similar age step in, and the mother 
and daughter slightly but surely grow apart. From twelve to eigh- 
teen the child develops into womanhood — a new light dawns upon 



HOME TRAINING. 175 

her, a new thoughtfulness seizes her, and she is no longer what she 
was. A mother sends her child to boarding-school for three to four 
years, for what? Alack-a-day! "to be finished," (and too often is the 
finishing process complete in one sense of the word) and expects the 
principal to return to her, the daughter she has voluntarily sent from 
her. She is grieved and disappointed that her daughter no longer 
comes to her as she should — that she seems reticent and disinclined 
to talk of things nearest her heart. But she forgets that she has 
turned her daughter from her at a time when her whole nature was 
developing, and when she, herself, should have been the one to watch 
the bud unfold into a blossom ; should have watched the plant, and, 
with her own tender watchfulness, her ever ready sympathy for the 
girl's mistakes and childish, womanly sorrows, have taught her to 
lean on her as her earthly counselor. All this is not hypothetical ; it 
has been done, it can be done, and there is no more sweet, more last- 
ing bond than a truly sympathetic mother and daughter. 

Boarding-schools, in their effect on nine girls out of ten, are 
pernicious. Be the teacher ever so wise, ever so gentle, ever so 
judicious, it is impossible to give sixty growing girls, aye, or even 
twenty, the mother's oversight they should have. Regular hours are 
good, regular lessons are good, but all this is possible at home, and 
the herding together is bad, immeasurably bad. 

Send your children to boarding-school in thei^" very early days, 
if you will, or must, but after they get to be twelve years old, keep 
them at home, establish their health, physical and mental, and "get 
acquainted with them." 

''My little daughter grows apace; 

Her dolls are now quite out of date ; 
It seems that I must take their place. 

We have become such friends of late. 

We might be ministers of state, 
Discussing projects of great peril, 

Such strange new questionings dilate 
The beauty of my little girl. 

" How tall she grows ! What subtle grace 

Doth every movement animate ; 
With garments gathered for the race 

She stands, a goddess slim and straight. 

Young Artemis, when she was eight, 
Among the myrtle bloom and laurel — 

I doubt if she could more than mate 
The beauty of my little girl. 



176 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



The baby passes from her face, 

Leaving the lines more deHcate, 
Till in her features I can trace 

Her mother's smile, serene, sedate. 

' Tis something at the hands of fate, 
To watch the onward years unfurl 

Each line which goes to consecrate 
The beauty of my little girl. 

ENVOY. 

Lord ! hear me, as in prayer I wait. 

Thou givest all; guard Thou my pearl; 
And when Thou countest at the Gate 

Thy jewels, count my little girl." 




CHAPTER II. 



WHY 



HY?" asks the child, '' Why is it right?" "Be- 
cause I say so," answers the mother. All 
wrong, mother; nothing in the world was 
ever right because you said so. You are 
making an untrue statement, and laying up 
trouble for yourself in the future at the same 
time. 

"Children should accept the dictum of 
parents, unquestioning." 
ut do they? That is the question. 

child comes into the world without any precon- 
ceived notion of the kind of world it is, or the kind of 
people with whom his lot has been cast. Everything must 
be tested by him (you among the rest) from the time he 
begins to use his first reasoning powers ; and while it would 
be more convenient, for a period, that our troubles should 
not be increased by our being obliged to answer questions about 
every little thing, continually, don't you know that it is this very 
thing that builds up in the boy the judgment of the man ? If you 
simply say to a boy, "Don't do that." "Why?" "Because I say 
so," you give him a rule for that particular occasion, but nothing that 
can be of any service to him at any future time. 

Remember, that the' majority of children are sharp-witted and 
clear-seeing, ^nd if you want them to be of real, solid, use to you, 
give them reasons for their actions, so that they may act from reason 
and principle, and not from blind obedience to another's will. There 
come plenty of times, even in a child's life, when neither parent is 
at hand to guide or command. If such children have been accus- 
tomed to blind obedience, they have no fund of judgment on which 
to draw, and are utterly at a loss how to act. 




178 QUEEN OF HOME. 

"Delighted, then she hugged it to her breast, 

When, lo, it burst and scattered from her hand ; 
In vain she searched and grieving could not rest, 

And felt a grief she did not understand. 
Oft in the years to come, my darling child, 

When pretty, light-hued visions catch your eye, 
And joyous pleasures have your soul beguiled, 

'Twill break your heart to see them fleeting by. 
Then father's hand may not be near to aid 

Though for his help your heart will often yearn. 
For hopes will burst and cherished joys will fade. 

Life's bitter lessons you must live to learn." 

The relation between parent and child should be that between 
a loving counselor and one seeking knowledge — not that existing 
between master and slave. Children only gain such knowledge as 
they seek, and their ever expanding brains are constantly seeking 
wherewith to be filled. 

Remember, too, that until they have proved your infallibility, 
until they have questioned within themselves or aloud, as to the 
motives of your actions, they are not sure that you always have 
a good reason. 

If you have proved to your child that you are never arbitrary 
In your decisions, orders, or instructions, he will learn to trust you 
blindly, while proving the rest of the world. 

If you say to a child so brought up, ''Do thus and so," he will 
not question. He knowshy experience that you are right, he knows 
it not so much from the result, as from the fact that he has learned 
a lesson from putting reason and result together. 

Be careful to avoid giving orders for which you have no particu- 
lar reason beyond the caprice of the moment, when that order affects 
your child's comfort. 

Your children will judge of you as men and women, and their 
respect is naturally much lessened for a parent who has no other 
reason than "because I say so," (even if they ^^ your own offspring) 
and woe to the parent who proves an autocrat instead of a loving 
counselor. 

Ifyou say, "Don't go out this morning, Henry," "Why, mother?" 
** Because I say so," to-morrow, and each succeeding day, you will 
be tried with the same question, "Say, mother, can't I go out this 
morning, right after breakfast?" until your patience is exhausted, and 
your son's temper and sullenness, if he possess those qualities, are 



HOME TRAINING. 



179 



aroused. But if you say to him in answer to ''Why?" ''Because, 
at this season of the year the dew is very heavy, and you will get 
your feet very wet. After ten o'clock the sun will have dried it all 
off, and then you can go out every day," the matter is settled, the 
child is satisfied, anci he knows without further question as each "to- 




day" turns up, that he is 7iot to go out till ten o'clock becaicse the 
grass is not sufficiently dry. 

Do your best to inculcate reason and principle, and don't be 
too tired, or too cross, or too dignified to answer a respectful "why." 

Finances, since the world began, have been an ever fruitful source 
of dissension, and the question of the finances of the domestic circle, 



i8o QUEEN OF HOME. 

has been one rife with disturbances of the worst kind. The common 
cry is now, (as it has been always, if one could only remember) that 
women do not know how to take care of money. True, many of 
them do not. But, likewise, they lack judgment in many other ways, 
where a clear judgment is necessary. However, a careful analysis 
of the subject will soon show that it is not the quality itself, which 
is lacking in the sex, as a sex ; it is the special education necessary 
to the full development of such qualities, that is lacking. 

• Judgment is given to some people, men and women, in an 
eminent degree. In others it is an almost artificial quality, if one 
may use the expression — a quality so formed and ingrounded by a 
particular form of education (either by intention or by circumstance,) 
as to be almost natural, but merely in reality, a second nature. 

The fault to be deplored in the wife, is really due to the father- 
in-law. Someone has said "the education of a girl should begin 
twenty years before she is born." While this seems like beginning 
pretty far back, there is much truth in the statement. But, suppose 
that this suggestion has not been acted upon in by-gone years, the 
future judgment of a girl should begin much earlier in life, than is 
generally supposed. Teach the boys and girls to have opinions of 
their own whenever practicable. Parents do not begin sufficiently 
early, to consult with their children upon points in which the children, 
themselves, are particularly interested. 

Beginning with the point of dress : Many grown women have 
said, " I never bought a dress for myself in my life. Mother always 
did it for me. She knows a great deal better what I want than I 
do myself." Why should the mother know best? What has she 
been thinking of, to allow that daughter to grow up in ignorance of 
her own tastes, even ? It has been criminal neglect upon her part, 
and equal indifference upon the daughter's part, to allow eighteen or 
twenty years to slip by without a reliable judgment being formed in 
the daughter's character. What do the mothers expect the daugh- 
ters to do at the time when they must]wA<g^ — whether they will or 
not — not only for themselves, but for others, and do it unaided by the 
mind and heart forever passed away from them. "Time enough ! " 
Indeed, no ! The time is now, now, while the children are little. 
When your child leaves to you to decide, for him or her, which shall 
be done, where there is no question of principle involved in either 
course, oblige that child to exercise its own judgment and powers of 
selection. When clothing a girl, begin early to take her with you to 



HOME TRAINING. 



i«i 



the various places of purchase. Explain to her why you buy such 
goods and refuse others. Having selected some half-dozen pieces of 
goods, any one of which would be suitable for your purpose, leave it 
to her choice as to which it shall be. A little later along, a small 
income should be given, and a judicious spending of this income 
inculcated. It might begin with a very small amount, to be devoted 
to gloves, whilst the rest of the wardrobe is provided by the mother. 
This could be added to, and the shoes be the next article which the 
child is expected to provide for herself. She would soon know that 
the more care she exercised both in buying and caring for her articles 
of dress, after they were purchased, the more money she would have 
on hand, (for the income should be given with the express under- 
standing that what she saved, after dressing herself in accordance 
with the prevailing neatness, shall be exclusively, absolutely her own, 
to do as she pleases with.) And too, she soon learns to spend that 
surplus in the way which will give her most real pleasure. 

O mothers ! do teach your daughters to exercise judgment in 
their early youth, and do not leave it until they, too, have daughters 
of their own, and in their utter ignorance are obliged to depend 
upon others for counsel (often ill-advised) or else learn by bitter expe- 
rience, after marriage, lessons which they should have been learning 
almost from their cradle up. 





mm-^ism 




CHAPTER III. 



»^^>? 



SMALL TRUSTS. 



^ UT you speak only of girls ? Are my boys not 
to be taken notice of, too?" 

Your boys ! I should think so, indeed, 

madame, but remember, that with all that is 

said of girls or boys, the mother must strive her 

very best to study out the individuality and 

characteristics of each child — a training that 

might be most effective with a son, might ruin a 

daughter — that which was beneficial to the older 

daughter, entirely unfit for the second one. 

There can be only general suggestions made, 

and these apply equally to all children, regardless of sex. 

There are some things with which boys will meet 

in the way of temptations, pett}^ perhaps, but having an 

ineradicable influence, nevertheless, which will, perhaps, 

never come to a girl, and after taking up two or three of 

these points, the remaining remarks may be considered 

as applicable to both sexes. 

Let us take up, first, the question of small trusts. 
By reason of their business relations and the 
nature of their surroundings, men have reposed in their 
keeping, many more sacred trusts than are ever given into the keep- 
ing of women, and for this reason it behooves a mother to look 
specially after this branch of her son s home education. " Eternal 
viorilance " should be the watch-word, and small trusts should be 
rigidly looked after. 

We read of the "Great Unwashed, " but story has been com- 
paratively silent in regard to the " Great Unfaithful." Yet their 
name is legion, a legion which can hold its own, nay, even put to 
rout, the members of the "Unwashed." The "Unfaithful" are not 




HOME TRAINING. 183 

only those who deny the tenets of religion, who beat their wives, 
who starve their children, who steal their neighbor's wives or 
goods, who betray bank trusts. There is another tribe of unfaithful 
ones which far outnumbers any or all of these. It is those who 
betray small trusts. Babies are taught with their earliest breath to 

repeat 

" Little drops of water, little grains of sand," 

and one would think, that a race of human beings into whom this had 
been ground, day after day, year after year, century after century, 
would finally have absorbed some sense of the great importance of 
little things, and of moral obligation in the minor matters of life. 
How utterly at fault this premise is, nine-tenths of the people with 
whom one has small dealings, are an evidence. You make an engage- 
ment with Jones to go to the Park, for instance, for an afternoon 
walk. Reaching the rendezvous, and not seeing him, after a good 
half-hour of waiting, you, being a man exceedingly particular as to 
engagements, are naturally rather incensed. 

Seeing him later, you say, " Hello, Jones ! You're a nice sort 
of a fellow! I waited for you a half-hour yesterday." 

'' Did? Why, it was so frightfully hot that I didn't think you'd 
go, so I stayed at home and kept cool," and Jones is as complacent 
as if he were the one who had kept his engagement, and yoit were 
the one at fault, (more so, in fact, we fancy.) 

If Smith borrows five thousand dollars, he is extremely anxious 
to pay it, and would regard himself a scoundrel if he did not refund 
the money the first moment he could. If he borrows five cents to pay 
his car-fare, he seldom, if ever, thinks of his obligation again. 

Five cents is a small matter, perhaps, in the abstract. The 
question considered is not one of sum, hwX. principle. 

"He who borrows and does not repay," says some one, "is 
guilty of stealing." (Not Intentionally, perhaps, but he is certainly 
guilty of keeping that which is not his own, even if he have not origi- 
nally abstracted it without the knowledge of the owner.) When a man 
asks for a gift, it is one thing, but when he desires a loan, his moral 
obligation to repay that loan, be it large or small, is precisely the 
same. 

To ask for a loan is to give a tacit I. O. U. and the act should 
be so regarded by every one. 

Another class of those faithless to small trusts, is that which 



1 84 QUEEN OF HOME. 

intrenches itself behind the ever ready "O, I forgot." When such 
people forget, it is not thoughtlessness but a culpable failure to 
remember. 

It is a fact, so well demonstrated, that elaboration on the subject 
here is unnecessary, that the memory can be stimulated by a strong 
desire to remember, and the one who will do something ^he thinks of 
it, generally manages to forget all about it, and this short-coming is all 
sufficient for him as an excuse, and should, in his estimation, pass cur- 
rent with you as a plea for pardon. That you should be put to incon- 
venience by their forgetfulness is certainly unpleasant for you, and as 
such, is a fact to be deplored, but it is something with which they have 
nothing to do, though they sympathize with you in your discomfort. 

Such forgetfulness, if not a sin of commission is certainly a sin 
of omission. 

To relate a fact, a man, (a gentleman and a business man,) said 
once upon a time laughingly, " People used to ask me to attend to 
their commissions, but I made it a point to forget their commissions 
and leave their bundles in the cars so often, that they have given up 
asking me any more," and he chuckled as if he had done a really 
smart thing, instead of a very selfish one. 

It is, doubtless, an annoyance to any man to be constantly bur- 
dened with commissions, but how much more manly to honestly say 
so, than to accept a trust, if ever so small, with the distinct intention 
of betraying it, or at least, the distinct intention of doing nothing to 
keep it in mind. 

There would be dignity in saying, 'T really have no time to 
attend to anything for- anybody," and the speaker would attain the 
reputation for being a very busy man, instead of a very selfish one. 
(However, the latter opinion would be the more true, perhaps.) By 
so doing he would confer a real favor, for someone else would attend 
to the commission, either for love or for money, and the disappointed 
one would not be disappointed after all. 

The selfish ones are not always those who take the largest apple 
in the basket, nor the warmest place by the fire, neither are the 
unfaithful ones always those who betray bank trusts, or loving hearts. 

Blessed, indeed, is he of whom it can be truthfully said, ''He was 
faithful in little things." 

The next thing about which I feel called upon to speak in the 
special training for boys, because to boys will the temptation mainly 
come — is treating. 



HOME TRAINING. 185 

Mothers, let me tell you what a mother said to me once, and see 
if you do not find much truth in her argument. 

She had growing boys, and one of them, about fifteen, wanted 
some money. *T gave you some money yesterday, where is it?" 
"I treated Harry to soda-water at the drug store, and bought some 
candy for Nettie and Mary Wild." 

'' My son, I have told you that I objected to your treating 
your boy and girl friends to anything. Soda-water and candy are 
harmless in themselves to a degree, and if you had felt the necessity 
of two glasses of soda-water, and had brought the candy home to 
your sisters, I would not have had one word to say, but I do not 
like it." 

It seemed to me at the time, counsel that was likely to do the 
boy harm by teaching him to be selfish, but my talk with her, and 
sober reflection, showed me that the harm the sons were likely to 
receive in that way, was not nearly so likely to be lasting as the evil 
which she dreaded for them. 

" No," said she in continuance to me afterward, 'T am convinced 
that the habit of treating, even ice-cream, soda-water, peanuts or candy 
is a bad one. It leads to extravagance, and very often, instead of 
arising from a desire to be generous, it is the outgrowth of a desire 
to "look big," and outdo some fellow creature. I believe that most 
of the harm done in liquor drinking is done by the '*treaters." One 
treats, and another treats, and by the time five have treated, the whole 
five are intoxicated. 

A boy falls into the habit of spending his money on his compan- 
ions, and soon the time comes when. soda- water and peanuts are no 
longer cared for by those companions, and candy is childish. Then 
what? The habit of treating is strong upon him. "What will they 
have?" "What must he do?" Mentally canvassing the tastes of his 
companions, he thinks cigars or cigarettes will be about the thing, 
though he doesn't smoke himself, perhaps, because "Mother" has 
been able to guard him from that vice. So it goes. Then someone 
else "treats" to cigars, and so he takes one because he "don't like 
to look queer. Don't you see how it walks up step by step ?" 

I did see, and I thought it was a question which called for care- 
ful thought on the part of all mothers who wish to do their "very 
best" for the darlings of their hearts, their growing sons. 

"Reflect," she added, after a few moments' pause. 

I did reflect, and though I could still see a possibility of an incul- 



i86 QUEEN OF HOME. 

cation of selfishness by her course, there was so much good, sound 
common sense in her argument that I was convinced that her method 
would be likely to inculcate the least of two evils. 

Next to treating comes the practice of trading. 

One of the practices frequently indulged in, in childhood, and 
one against which parents should firmly set their faces, is that of 
trading among themselves, commonly known by the elegant term 
of "swapping." While children should have full possession of 
their own things, (for only in that way can there be inbred in them 
a thorough sense of the personal rights of others,) I do believe also 
that that right should not extend to parting with their possessions. 

The habit of "swapping" engenders, or fosters, if it does not 
engender, two very undesirable characteristics — a desire for gain and 
a discontentment with articles possessed — and children grow accus- 
tomed to looking around to see if someone else has not some more 
desirable possession than their own. 

Those inclined to be unscrupulous, learn early to " drive a sharp 
bargain " with those younger or more innocent than themselves, and 
woe to the mother whose son becomes a "little less than honest" in 
his childhood. 

" You would have my son a "molly-coddle" ! I want him to be 
a man ! " exclaims some indignant father. 

Softly, my dear sir ! These are not the things that make 7nen. 
They are merely a question of fine principle, and what is a man with- 
out true principle ? The true man is the one who is taught from^ his 
earliest infancy to respect the rights of the weak, be it in business or 
pleasure. 




CHAPTER IV. 



HOME RELATIONS AND HOME MANNERS. 




Y " relations " I had not meant relatives, and yet, 
perhaps, would it not be as well to speak a little 
of relatives, and their bearing upon our family 
relations ? 

The two who have my most profound sym- 
pathy, are the average mother-in-law, and the 
so-called ''old maid aunt." 

No class of people, if we may strictly call 
them a class, has been more abused or has had 
pointed at it more aimless, not to say reprehensible jokes, 
than the mother-in-law and the "old maid aunt," and in 
just such wretched efforts as these, lies a poison, that, if 
permitted, will enter the child's mind, and cause a disre- 
spect for the elder ones of the family ; a disrespect that 
will extend by imperceptible degrees to the father and 
mother. When paterfamilias finds himself in close quar- 
ters — when materfamilias is sick in bed, and baby is 
teething, and cook is gone, for whom does he send to help 
him out of his difficulty ? His good friend Jack Shepherd, 
who made that last excellent joke on mothers-in-law? 
Not a bit of it ! For the nmcJi abused mother-in-lazu herself, and thank- 
ful enough is he to see her come in, and glad enough is he to hear 
her trotting and singing to the baby in the middle of the night, 
and rejoiced enough is he to find himself sitting down to a warm 
breakfast the next morning ; albeit he goes out of the house the next 
day and permits without protest, Tom, Dick or Harry to repeat their 
execrable sallies against "the old lady," even if he does not have a 
fling at her himself. 

And what about the children ? Who can wrap up a cut finger 
so well as "Grandma?" Who makes such lovely cookies — such 



1 88 



QUEEN OF HOME. 




GRANDMA. 



HOME TRAINING. 189 

charming ginger-nuts ? Who knows such efficacious remedies for 
a cold ? Who always has peppermint in her pocket as a sovereign 
cure for broken heads ? 

And Grandpa ! By-the-way, why don't we have a few jokes 
about him ? Would you know the secret ? Listen, and I will whisper 
it to you. It is because these same jokes (?) are made by the oppo- 
site sex, and the women are too generous and pitiful of the old man's 
failings, while the men will not because Grandpa is a man , and so the 
dear old gentleman goes scot-free. And spite of all they may say, 
we will not believe it is not a very pleasant sight to any man, to see 
Grandma and Grandpa seated at their fireside. And any man who 
cannot remember their visits in his own childhood, has missed one of 
the pleasantest recollections that life can hold. 

And "old maid aunts!" Poor things! Where would some 
households have been without this very useful appendage, I would 
like to inquire ? How many unsung martyrs have there been among 
these, only the Great Hereafter will show. How many young, lov- 
able women, with hearts full of warmth, and souls full of longing, have 
sacrificed themselves to the needs of a growing family in a brother's 
or sister's bereaved household, history does not say, but they are 
legion. And what has been their reward in many instances ? Only 
to be twitted by the very ones for whom they have sacrificed all, with 
the fact that they are "old maids ! " But it is pleasing to note that 
the tide is changing, and the "old maid" of the past is a thing 
of the past. 

Mr. Fink, in his late work on "Love," demonstrates, among 
other things, that the heroine of the popular novel is no longer as 
young as she once was. 

Life, in fiction, with all its exaggeration, is but the exponent of 
the times after all. There must be a certain amount of realism in it, 
in order that it may pay. Therefore, if society itself were not under- 
going a change, we would not find this same change in works which 
deal only with fictitious characters. 

It is gradually being conceded that a woman's life is not lived 
out by the time she is twenty-five. It is dawning upon the youthful 
mind, that a woman may live to be thirty or even forty, and still have 
the fire of romance burning in her heart ; and the school miss of six- 
teen more rarely sneers, when her aunt, of thirty-five, dares to think of 
marriage. 

This change is due to pressure brought to bear in two different 



190 



QUEEN OF HOME. 




GRANDPA. 



HOME TRAINING. 191 

directions : First — the re-incorporation into general use, of the good 
old-fashioned word "woman." There are no longer, as there were 
fifteen or twenty years ago, "old young girls ; " women, young and 
old, are women. A girl of eighteen is a girl, but she is likewise a 
young woman in general estimation ; a woman of twenty-five is 
the same. 

But the most important factor of the whole matter — the one 
which really supercedes the introduction of the word "woman" as a 
primary cause (the latter being in a great measure the origin of the 
former) \^fashio7i. Not that it has grown to be "the fashion " to do 
thus or so, but that fashion, as evinced in dress, has done much to 
produce this much-to-be-desired result. 

There is no longer a distinct line between the dress of the woman 
of twenty and that of the woman of thirty ; the dress of the woman 
of sixty, without being " kittenish," in any degree, may, with propriety, 
conform in a great measure to that of the woman of twenty-five. 

It has thus grown impossible for men and women to decide at a 
first glance with any certainty, upon the age of the woman whom they 
are studying for their next novel. In truth, age has gradually been 
forgotten in facts. The theory that to certain years alone, belongs 
romance, has given place to ikv^fact that it is to be found at all ages. 

Likewise have the old and the young woman, grown insensibly 
to ignore the difference in years existing between them, thinking only 
of the pleasure the friendship gives. All this has done much to 
engender firmness and steadiness of purpose in the young, while at 
the same time it has brightened and made beautiful, the lives of those 
older, and has certainly been greatly to the advantage of all. 

The relation of husband and wife to each other, is a very sacred 
one, and one of which but little can be said. 

The tendency of to-day towards treating lightly, both "in song 
and story," the marriage relation, is pernicious in the highest degree. 
The relation of no two married people is precisely the same as that 
existing between any other couple. There is no possibility of laying 
down any rules for the adjustment of two characters to a life in common, 
except in one case. It stands to reason that two people who have 
chosen, half-blindly as one may say, to live together and make their 
interests and associations common, must, in the natural course of 
things, find much to differ about. Now, when this is the case, there 
is obviously but one thing to do — for one party or the other to re- 
treat from the position assumed, or, to agree to disagree. 



19: 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



Now then, no matter which attitude affairs assume, lay it down 
as an unalterable rule that you will tell nobody of your disagreements, 
710 1 even your mother or your dear est friend. There is where so much 
trouble has started. A family difficulty assumes double proportions 
after it has been talked over with someone else. If I would give one 
rule to married people it is to "suffer and be strong." Above all 
things, do not let your children suspect that there is anything but 
harmony. And let there be harmony. If there be necessity for dis- 
cussion about a thing, which must finally come before the child, let 
the discussion be entirely over before the subject is broached, and 
only the result presented to his view. 

Can you expect to keep your children from quarrelling over 
little things, if your own discussions are conducted with acrimony? 




Can you expect your children to form any kind of clear judgment if 
you yourself dismiss with contempt any opinion that happens to dis- 
agree with your own? Remember, that your children are miniature 
men and women, and in most cases, faithful copies of yourselves. 

Teach your sons to protect their sisters, and to treat them as a 
gendeman should treat a lady. Teach your daughters to look after 
their brothers' interest, and as a lady should treat a gentleman. 
Teach them that the dress of politeness is for home wear, not a garb 
to be assumed for company, and enforce all this lesson by 
own actions. 



your 



HOME TRAINING. 193 

A young lady was considerably touched and amused by an inci- 
dent that occurred with a neighbor's children. Hearing the patter 
of feet one day, and the prattle of childish voices, she went to the 
front door. There, squeezed up close in a corner of the door-way, 
was a little girl, aged three, and in front of her, his little arms stretched 
to their full length, was her brother, of five; still in skirts. ''Please 
excuse us. Miss Louise," said the boy apologetically, ''but Lallie was 
so afraid of the sheep" (a flock was passing at the time) "and," he 
added anxiously, with still more apology in hjs tone, for fear the young 
lady should consider his little sister a coward, "their feet are very 
hard you know." She looked in the boy's face and saw there the 
protection of bravery. He was quite as much afraid of the sheep 
as was his sister, but, at all hazards, she must be protected ; so he 
had put her in a safe position and placed himself between her and 
danger. 

And this same small woman, when she grew a year or so older, 
used to trot around with the most motherly air and protect his 
interests. She would see that he had his scarf on, and a pocket hand- 
kerchief in his pocket, and no matter where she was or what was 
given her, she never ate more than half of it — the other half was 
carried home to her brother. "Saints?" Not a bit of it! "Quarrel?" 
Of course they did ! But they always stood by each other, and woe 
to the person who took up their quarrels. "Nordy boy ! " she would 
exclaim fiercely, "he no nordy boy, he good boy!" when perhaps 
she had just berated him soundly herself. 

A tender, admiring friendship existing between a brother and 
sister is a saving grace for both, and such can, I believe, be inculcated, 
by judicious treatment and example. 

Nevertheless, while thoroughly believing in early training in 
almost all directions, there is one point upon which I want to enter a 
most earnest protest. This is the care of the baby, as it is imposed 
upon the older children. It is not fair to the older son, that his 
skating should be interfered with because the youngest of six brothers 
and sisters must be amused. It is not fair to the older daughter, that 
the afternoons of her young life should be spent in wheeling up and 
down, up and down, in weary monotony, the latest importation from 
Babyland, when she should be gaining vigor and freshness on her own 
account. From the time, when at three year's of age, she is able to "sit 
on the floor and shake the rattle for Baby," the growing girl is made 
to assume the cares and responsibilities of maternity, without any of 
13 



194 



QUEEN OF HOME. 




A GUARDIAN BROTHER. 



HOME TRAINING. 



195 



its compensations. Is it any wonder, that she acquires an exaggerated 
idea of the weight of those same cares and responsibiHties ? 

Is it any wonder, that, as the yearly baby is added to the flock, 
there is in her heart a growing resentment, as she looks forward 
to all the long years of baby-tending, before they shall all be 
''out of arms?" Is it any wonder that this resentment finally 

culminates and finds voice 
in the assertion that she 
"just hates children?" Is 
it any wonder that a feel- 
ing, very far from sisterly, 
enters her heart against 
the new-comer, when he 
only represents to her, 
added hours of trotting, 
singing, rattle-shaking or 
coach-pushing ? 

That women are so 
eager to shirk or shift the 
responsibilities and cares 
of maternity, is considered 
one of the crying evils of 
the day. But do the re- 
formers reflect that it is 
in a great measure, as I 
have said, because they 
have, in their own homes, 
already experienced the 

^rt^ " "^X^ cares without the compen- 

\ '^^^ sating joys and maternal 

love ? They have lost all 
the good of their own beautiful play-time ; their budding woman- 
hood has been warped and cramped ; their education has been 
interfered with, perhaps, "and now'' they say to themselves," I am 
free and I mean to stay so." 

Mothers, think twice before, except in extreme necessity, you 
allow one child to feel the burden of the care of a little brother or 
sister. 




CHAPTER V. 



OBSERVATION DIRECTNESS OF SPEECH SELF-CONTROL. 




HE habit of observation, and the power of dis- 
crimination, while they may be, and no doubt 
in most cases innate, are likewise, too. 



are, 



things that require cultivation for their best 
development. 

Don't decide every little thing for your chil- 
dren till they are grown up, and then lose your 
patience because they seem to lack judgment. 
It is well, too, to habituate them to recite, in clear, 
concise terms, any little incident which may have 
happened. 

Trollope, in his * 'Armadale," gives an excellent 
idea on this subject. Among Miss Gwilt's earUest 
recollections, was the fact that her mother was ac- 
customed to take her by the hand, walk with her 
rapidly around the block, and immediately upon her 
entrance into the house, oblige her to tell, with equal 
rapidity and clearness, all that she had observed in 
this race of four blocks. 

Another idea, proved to be advantageous, is to have children 
close their eyes, turn around once or twice, and immediately upon 
opening their eyes, describe as accurately as possible the object upon 
which their eye has fallen. 

There is nothing, perhaps, better adapted to this form of educa- 
tion than the blackboard. A simple picture, a single sentence, may 
draw out the little ones into most interested and interesting discus- 
sions, and give them such food for thought and ideas on the subject 
of observation of the simple objects by which they are surrounded, 
as will be of more benefit to them than hours of study from books. 
Do it in what way seems best to you, but teach your children to 



HOME TRAINING. 



197 




EARLY TRAINING. 



198 QUEEN OF HOME. 

be observ^ant, and to form good honest opinions and judgment from 
what they observe. You are conferring on them a great boon by 
this course. 

But let their conclusions be given in the clearest and most direct 
language of which they are capable. 

Of all the talents distributed among mankind, that of directness 
of speech, seems to be the one which has been most sparingly given. 
Those, whose "communication be yea, yea; nay, nay," are indeed 
among the " mighty few." 

To how few, how very few, has been given the power to make 
a direct reply to the simplest question. 

Not long ago, a lady asked an agent of a well-known railroad, 
'' Can I buy a ticket to-day and come back on it to-morrow?" To 
the dispassionate observer, the simplest reply would seem to be 
either "yes" or "no," (the agent need not even have added 
"madame " had he felt indisposed so to do) but, drawing himself up 
with dignity, he replied magnificently and impressively, "If you so 
desire." 

This was hardly true, if he sought to be scrupulously truthful. 
Her ability to obtain the ticket was in no way affected by her desire. 

In another instance, a gentleman, walking up to a railroad official, 
and holding out his ticket for inspection, in order that there might be 
no doubt as to his destination, inquired (indicating at the same time 
with his finger, a certain section of carriages) "Is that my train?" 
The gate-man, inclined to be facetious, (poor man ! he had not then 
learned that humor does not add to the market value of a railway 
employe) replied in a loud tone in order that all his fellows might 
hear and appreciate his wit, "No sir! that ain't your train; that there 
train belongs to this here railway company." 

The gentleman said nothing and passed on, but, unfortunately 
for the man at the gate, his victim was a director of the road, and 
the next morning the offender was promptly dismissed (as he would 
have been in any case had the circumstance come to the notice of the 
company). 

This style of reply is not confined, however, to railway em- 
ployes by any means. One finds it in all classes and professions. 
One more instance and I am done. " Did a postal card come here 
in regard to a book left here?" inquired a lady of the proprietor of 
a drug store. ''There was a communication to that effect," replied 
he of the drugs. 



HOME TRAINING. 199 

If this style be unsatisfactory in an employe, how much more 
unsatisfactory is it in an employer. How much trouble, would be 
saved if each employer would give an absolutely direct order as to the 
manner of performing some duty. Orders or explanations given in 
an indirect, half-way manner, are never satisfactory to the employe, 
and are the cause of much disturbance, finally, to the employer, 
(who, by the way, can seldom be brought to think that the fault rests 
with him or her.) 

He or she generally supposes " any one would know better than 
that." 

The fault it is to be feared, has its foundation laid in childhood. 
When you say to your son, " James, did you go out this afternoon ?" 
and he replies, " Why, George was sick, and I went out to see him." 
When he reaches, " George was sick " stop him right there. Let him 
answer your question first, and give afterwards any explanation he 
may deem necessary. Let him say first, ''Yes, father." One can- 
not too soon teach his children to give a direct reply to a direct 
demand, and the habit that many children have, of offering some 
explanation or excuse, the moment they are asked a question, instead 
of replying to it at once, is a pernicious one. It not only tends to 
promote a weak, hesitating, roundabout style of language, but it 
tends to destroy in a great measure that compact, forcible, vigorous 
style of thought, which is a most desirable quality for man or woman, 
no matter what the walk of life. 

One of the most desirable, or perhaps, absolutely the most 
desirable, of the gifts given to the human race for their well-being, 
is that of self-control. 

Self-control is a power given to few, except in a slight degree, 
but in every human being is implanted the germ which, by careful 
watching and judicious training, becomes the sturdy tree about which 
all the other virtues and attributes cling, as the vine to the oak ; and 
without which support, few of these virtues would ever grow suffi- 
ciently tall to be in any way conspicuous. 

What fills our drunkard's graves ? Lack of self-control ; for few 
are those addicted to intoxication but will tell you they know it is 
wrong, but they " can't help it." Some there be, 'tis true, who main- 
tain that they do no wrong, and they really seem to believe it, but 
these are few indeed. 

What fills our prisons ? This same deadly evil, want of self- 
control. The impulse to do wrong, the longing for another's prop- 



200 QUEEN OF HOME. 

erty or his wife, the anger that sears the brain and shrivels the 
heart, seizes a man, and, having been taught Httle or no self-govern- 
ment, he loses his self-control and gives rein to the plunging beast 
of passion, which carries him over the precipice ; and the man that 
would have been, but for one moment's madness, is dashed below, 
and, if not crushed for all time, remains at best but a cripple. 

What is true of our drunkards' graves, our prisons, and our 
almshouses, is likewise true of our insane asylums. There are many 
cases of positive insanity that have arisen from a demoniacal temper. 
It is argued that the disease which produced the insanity produced the 
vile temper. Supposing this premise to be correct, the converse of 
the proposition is equally true, i. e., what would have controlled the 
temper would have gone a great way towards controlling the disease. 

Children have been known to fall down in fits, real convulsions 
of an epileptic nature, because some desired article was refused. 
What then ? Such nervous irritability can be controlled in a great 
measure by judicious management on the part of a parent. 

Look at the almost babes-in-arms, one reads of frequently being 
arraigned before this judge or that — for what ? Murder ! A fit of 
anger over some trifie, and the boy of eleven whips out a knife and 
plunges it into the breast of a boy of nine. A mother refuses to 
allow her son to go somewhere or do something, and he forthwith 
brains her with an axe or a flat-iron*. And the verdict is insanity ! 
Insanit}^ ? Not a bit of it. It is pure wicked want of self-control, for 
w^hich the murdered parent herself is mainly responsible. O, 
mothers ! mothers ! Little do you think of the awful responsibility 
you are taking on yourselves when you permit your children to dis- 
play fits of temper, towards yourself or their playmates, without 
serious reproof, because in your estimation " they are so little that 
they do not know it is wrong." 

Take to heart the fact that such a course of training is well cal- 
culated to fit them for the gallows. The sad story of a poor mother 
told not long ago needs no comment. "I had lost one child," she 
said, "and I indulged the second one. I never attempted to control 
him, nor taught him to control himself." At last," she added, 
brokenly, tears choking her voice, " at last the law took it out of my 
hands ; they htmg him." 

O, mothers, if you would have your sons and daughters good 
citizens, respected and self-respecting ; if you would work for their 
eternal welfare, teach them self-control. 



CHAPTER VI. 




SCHOOL. 

O important a matter is it, and such a subject 

of general discussion and public interest has it 

become, that one may well give at least a brief 

consideration to the subject of school, touching 

upon the most important points and those worthy 

of the gravest consideration. 

There comes a day when the mother feels that the 

nursery is deserted by its noisy occupants — that the 

house remains in order after it is put to rights in the 

morning, and suddenly she is struck with a vague pain, 

as she is seized with a realizing sense that even the 

" Baby has gone to school." 

' ' The baby has gone to school ; ah me ! 

What will the mother do, 
With never a call to button or pin, 

Or tie a little shoe ? 
How can she keep herself busy all day, 
With the little " hindering thing " away? 

Another basket to fill with lunch, 

Another " good-by " to say. 
And the mother stands at the door to see 

Her baby march away ; 
And turns with a sigh that is half relief. 
And half a something akin to grief. 

She thinks of a possible future morn, 

When the children one by one 
Will go from their home out into the world, 

To battle with life alone. 
And not even the baby be left to cheer 
The desolate home of that future year. 

She picks up garments here and there, 

Thrown down in careless haste, 
And tries to think how it would seem 

If nothing were displaced ; 
If the house were always still as this 
How could she bear the loneliness ? ' ' 



202 QUEEN OF HOME. 

At just what age the " Baby " shall go to school, will, of course, 
always be a mooted question, and, possibly, it is one which should 
be settled much by circumstances. 

But through long experience and close observation, I am assured 
that the view taken by Dr. Davis (in common with most other lead- 
ing physicians of the day) is the correct one : 

''Truly, one of the crying evils of to-day, is our present system 
of education. 

Children of entirely different mental capacity and power of 
endurance, as well as differing in aptitude and inclination, are far too 
early sent off to school to be 'educated.' 

Rarely, indeed, is there even a distinction made in regard to sex, 
and the girl must submit to the same restrictions, and master the 
same difficult problems as her brother. 

Often, I am sorry to say, the child is hurried off to school at the 
earliest possible age, in order that the parents may avoid the noise 
and worry caused by their children when at home. 

There they sit in cramped or constrained positions — often breath- 
ing impure air — for a good part of the day, under strict surveillance, 
pursuing tasks that are in themselves irksome. And all this is 
called ' being educated.' 

It is a sad thing to realize, that this glorious nation of ours is 
rapidly becoming one of 'big heads and little bodies,' and, largely, 
because of the faulty methods of schooling our children. 

It is a common error for people to confound schooling and 
education. The latter consists of a proper development of the moral 
and physical qualities, as well as the mental, and not the over-develop- 
ment of any one, at the expense of the others. 

Home should be the educational centre for every child. There 
your son should learn adoration for God, obedience to parents, and 
subjection to State, and after having this foundation, the minor lessons 
will follow in due time, and will be put to better uses when acquired. 

Unfortunately our present system of education is for the develop- 
ment of the intellect alone ; when every young head is considered an 
ordinary receptacle, into which knowledge may be poured, molten 
hot, without any reference to quality or quantity. 

Our child is jostled about, and finally driven to the wall, because 
he cannot compete with 'Tom, Dick and Harry;' humiliated, and 
finally discouraged beyond degree, by his failure at a task, for which 
he is unfitted, or that is especially repugnant to him. 



HOME TRAINING. 203 

The smart child is usually the pet of the family, and his parents 
are frequently complimented on his brilliancy. 

Undoubtedly this is gratifying, but how often do you see the 
boy at the foot of the class, physically his superior, and often finally, 
his peer intellectually as well, and all because your ' bright child's ' 
over-crammed brain has received its proverbial 'last straw,' and is 
now wholly or partially retired from study on account of a constant 
headache, neuralgia, eye-strain or insomnia' ; or still more sorrowful, 
may already have in its shattered nervous system, the seeds of that 
dread disease, chorea (St. Vitus' dance), from which — if it ever 
recover — it will be the unwilling heir to a long list of ills." 

What if your neighbor's son quotes Shakspeare at seven, and 
your niece writes poetry at eight, while your own little daughter, at 
nine, can hardly read ? What if your own daughter knew all her 
letters at three, could read at four, and write at five, while your son 
at seven shows an utter disinclination for books? 

Do not let that distress you. "The time is not yet." Do not 
force your child to brain-work. The system of school, as it is carried 
on, is often utterly distasteful to children, while judicious home- 
teaching will give most wonderful results. Indeed, one little realizes 
the effect of little things in the actual daily education of children. 
They are full of nerves and impressions, and a child can often be 
insensibly led by some most unimportant circumstance to most im- 
portant conclusions. I call to mind two instances — both in the line of 
mathematics. The first, a little girl, who had had the most wretched 
time learning her tables. Through weeks did this mite of a six-year- 
old, struggle through the dreaded task, but never did she get 
successfully beyond ''twice twelve are twenty-four." Finally her 
mother, who was likewise her teacher, concluded to give the child a 
new book, as the one she had was somewhat dilapidated. The new 
book purchased — in 07ie week every table was learned perfectly, and 
that, apparently, without any change in the method of teaching. 
Explain it who will, by what psychological process he may, the fact 
remains that the new book was the impetus which carried the child 
over the " Pons Asinorum,'' 

The second case in question, was a boy who could not learn long 
division. Every one probably remembers the time when he or she 
struggled with the immensities presented by this branch of arithme- 
tic. Well, this boy struggled in common with his fellows, but with a 
less happy result. He bade fair to stay just there all his life. He tried 



204 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



faithfully, till life and spirit were gone from him. One day he 
exclaimed suddenly, "I see it now!" and ever after there was no 
trouble. Why he should ''see it," just at that particular moment, 
no one, not even himself, could tell. No one was explaining it to 
him at the time. It just "came to" him. 

"But you don't tell me when to begin to teach my child to 
read?" says some one. 

Truly ! I cannot, nor can any one. It should depend upon cir- 
cumstances and individual capacity so largely, that it must always 
be a matter of experiment, but this much I can say — it is better, far 
better, to defer it a year too late, than to be one day too soon. 




CHAPTER VII. 



SELECTION OF PROFESSIONS. 



UR country is rife, from end to end, with dis- 
cussions in regard to the education of women 
as wives and mothers. There have been many 
things said, by the wise and the unwise, on all 
sides, but the majority have seemed to forget 
that statistics show a greater proportion of wo- 
men than men among our population. Hence 
the fact that some few mus^ he left over, whether they 
will or not, to grace (or disgrace) some other walk in 
life. There is much truth in some things that have 
been said — very little in the rest. But I do believe 
that most women are tr^dng, as far as their lights go, 
and circumstances will permit, to bring up their daugh- 
ters to lead useful lives ; and to so train them, that 
while, perhaps, their advantages of real home-life have 
been few, their sense of right and love of duty will lead them, should 
they become wives, to do all in their power to make themselves 
worthy as home-makers and home-keepers. It is an unfortunate fact, 
not to be denied by the truthful, however, that in the middle class, 
a very considerable percentage of the fathers, either cannot, or will 
not, earn a sufficient amount to support their own families. Upon 
their children then, boys and girls, devolves a very fair share of the 
family support. While it is not worth while to open a discussion, 
in all candor, what opportunity have ^/zese girls to learn household 
arts ? And because their fathers had families which they were unable 
to support, should the £'zr/s be reviled for lack of knowledge which 
they have had no opportunity to gain ? 

But leaving all this out of the question, how. many men train 
their sons so that they may be good husbands? Surely this is to be 
considered. It is a difficult matter, perhaps, for a woman to train 




2o6 QUEEN OF HOME. 

her son to be a good husband, and under her own husband's eye try 
to make the son all that the father is not. Clearly, this duty should 
devolve upon the fathers themselves. There is much, much said 
about the women who marry, ignorant of household duties ; but 
think of the men who marry, utterly ignorant of so simple a duty as 
carving. No ! gentlemen, let us have a just consideration of all 
sides of the question ; and while you are counseling your wives as 
to their duties towards your future son-in-law, do not forget that 
your future daughter-in-law has a right to expect from your hands a 
man as perfect as you can mould from the material with which the 
Lord has provided you. Teach them, by your example and practice 
and precept, that ''home" is something more than a mere stopping 
place, and that, in order to have a household what it should be, they 
too have duties of which they should become at least cognizant, 
before they take upon themselves the sacred offices of husband and 
father. 

But let us suppose that all this has been done. The time comes 
when the boy must be provided with a calling. 

"John," said an old lady once, to her nephew, who had just 
preached his initial sermon, "what ever possessed you to enter the 
ministry?" "The Lord called me, aunt," answered the young man 
solemnly. "Are you su7^e, John?" asked the aunt anxiously. "Are 
you sure it was not some other noise you heard? " 

There it is! "Some other noise." So many men, in all pro- 
fessions and trades, seem to have "heard some other noise" than a 
legitimate call to the one in which they are laboring. These failures 
are in most cases the result of unfortunate circumstances. In these 
days of struggle for daily bread, a man must many times "catch at 
a chance" that is utterly distasteful to him; otherwise not only he, 
but those who in their old age are dependent on him, would starve. 
Many times, too, a profession, business or trade is handed down from 
generation to generation. The son of a banker must enter the 
banking-house, no matter how distasteful to him the office and 
accounts. He is brought up with that idea, and it seldom occurs to 
him to look forward to anything else. 

And who so appropriate to step into a physician's practice, and 
inherit from his father a ready-made clientele, and a good start in life, 
as that same father's son? 

When the day shall come that the farmer may say to the lawyer, 
"I have a son who is not adapted to be a farmer, but I think he will 



HOME TRAINING, 207 

make a good lawyer ; he has a great fondness for it. But I cannot spare 
him; have you a son to exchange for him ?" When such exchanges 
as. these can be made, men will find their true places, and there will 
not be "going up and down the earth," as there are to-day, so many 
sad-eyed, mind-weary men — men worn out by friction with an uncon- 
genial occupation. 

Still there might be more done to combat the difficulty, if parents 
would give a little more judicious and unprejudiced thought over the 
matter, being willing to give up some cherished plan if it interferes 
with the boy's manifest inclination. 

The question of a boy's calling is too often left until he needs 
one. A boy goes through school, and when he has completed his 
allotted term, he is expected to accept the first chance that offers, and 
''do for himself." The first chance may be a mercantile life, and that 
may be utterly distasteful to him in every way. No matter ! It is a 
chance, and chances are few. There is no time to waste, and forth- 
with he is clapped into the counting-room, to remain there, perhaps, 
as an under-clerk for the next twenty-five years. 

The question of a boy's career is not one to be settled in a 
moment, after he grows up. He should be educated gradually 
towards it. His tastes, proclivities and characteristics should be 
carefully watched, and he should be educated towards the point 
where all that there is in him will tell best ; remembering always 
that education is that which educates, not that which is studied 
(or acquired, even). The boy himself should be consulted as to 
his wishes, and these should receive an adequate amount of con- 
sideration. He should be led to examine his wishes from all 
points of view, and the question of his calling should be a frequent 
topic of conversation between him and his parents, always with the 
idea that he is not to be hurried. When he has decided, let his 
education go towards fitting him for what he has chosen. Let him 
finish out his remaining school-days in studying such things as will 
be of use to him in his profession, always presupposing that he, 
meanwhile, continues his study of the ordinary branches in school. 
Why insist on your boy learning Greek and Hebrew when he has a 
predilection for mathematics and physics, or even mechanics, sim- 
ply because you have made it the dream of your life that he should 
enter the ministry? Surely a good mechanic, a mechanic who does 
his work heartily and because he loves it, is more acceptable of 
God than an inferior minister ! Surely a good farmer or shoe- 



208 



QUEEN OF HOME, 



maker is more to be respected as a man, than a poor lawyer or 
physician ! 

If you have somewhat settled, by the aid of your son's own 
wishes, as to what his career is to be, there may occur to you many 
an opportunity of furthering your plans, when otherwise you would 
have passed them by. Often men have lost what were the very best 
opportunities of their lives, for want of a definite plan which would 
have made them available. 

So I say to you again, do not decide your boy's fate for him. 
Take him into your confidence, and gain his. And, having found 
out what he wants, do your very best to place him according to his 
wishes, and not according to some pet idea of your own. 




2IO QUEEN OF HOME. 

but they tell the story of coming danger only too plainly. Headache, 
sleeplessness, irritability of temper, neuralgic pains about the head 
and heart, unrefreshful sleep, nervous dyspepsia, dull eyes, heaviness 
of the head and stupid feeling after meals, worry about trifles, 
unreasonable anger, tingling and numbness in the limbs, cold feet 
and hands, flushed face and burning ears, palpitation of the heart, 
and irregular, weak and unsteady pulse. When you note these 
symptoms, beware, the brain and nerves are about to break down, 
and it may be insanity, perhaps death." 

Dr. Hammond well says, "beware;" and nowhere more than in 
the hurry-scurry of American business methods is the warning needed ; 
and it should not only be heeded, but heeded in a proper manner. 

There are more people who kill themselves in trying to take 
care of themselves than the world in general imagines. 

When a man or woman begins to be conscious that ** something 
Is wrong," that languor and lassitude have their hold, or nervousness 
and sleeplessness prevail, the first thing generally, is to resort either 
to stimulants or to quack medicines (in many cases synonymous 
terms). A little whiskey "builds a man right up and gives him 
vigor for the day's work ! "- — a glass of bitters "tones a woman up 
and makes her feel like a new woman ! " 

No doubt of it ! The exhilaration of spirits, or alcoholic tonic, 
is not to be denied, but it is the exhilaration of the fire which is fed 
momentarily into increased brightness by the very water which is 
meanwhile its doom. 

No, the proper course is a systematic caring for one's self. The 
invalid state being produced primarily by overwork, and secondarily 
by its attendant evils — indigestion, sleeplessness, nervousness, etc. — 
the first thing naturally is to reduce the amount of work. Some- 
times the strain of daily bread-winning will not permit any relaxa- 
tion in regard to this, but to such we say, spare yourselves when 
you can. Don't anticipate to-night the business worries that should 
properly belong to to-morrow. 

Next — take all the time for sleep that you can possibly allow. 
The brain, overtaxed, is like an Octopus — it seizes and feeds upon 
all around it. Many an illness has been warded ofl" by a prolonged 
sleep. While the devourer slept. Nature had time to restore the 
weary body and strengthen it to resist the demands upon it. 

Many a woman has succumbed to sudden illness or chronic 
invalidism because constant strain and improper amount of rest had 



THE SICK-ROOM. 211 

predisposed her system to disease. Mothers of Httle children are 
brought under more strain than the outside world appreciates. 
Even the father, who sees the trying nights, knows little of the 
equally trying days, and when he returns at night, to find his wife 
weary and disheartened, he does not realize that her day's work has 
been but a continuation of that of the night before, with added 
duties and less rest. 

It should be a mother's sacred duty to make up, if possible, 
during the day, at least some part of the rest lost the night before ; 
and it should be a man's duty to provide for this emergency if 
possible, either by conscientiously sharing the duties of the night, 
or seeing that someone takes his wife's place as ''baby-tender" for 
at least a portion of the day, thus giving her a chance to gain her 
much needed rest. 

Next — regular living and simple diet, with the heaviest meal 
when the blood is least called upon to feed the brain, and thus has 
opportunity to amply aid in the process of digestion. 

Here is another point for the consideration of the mother, and 
one upon which women are prone to be careless, often criminally so. 
They fall into the way of eating a little of this, tasting a little of that, 
until normal appetite is destroyed, and the "grim destroyer," indi- 
gestion, in one of its many forms, has taken firm hold of its victim. 
A rigid course of simple diet should be undertaken, and the sufferer 
will be perfectly astonished at the excellent result of a little general 
care in this respect. 

A cup of hot water in the morning (slightly salted, if preferred) 
taken some little time before breakfast, is an excellent thing with 
which to begin the attack upon the digestive organs. Slightly acid 
fruits (such as oranges) and oat-meal, with good bread and butter and 
milk, form a solid, nourishing but light diet. The stomach is thus not 
overtaxed. If hunger sets in before the prescribed time for luncheon, 
take again a little something light, or make that the lunch hour, so 
that the weakened organs may not be strained by want of food. 

Very soon a regular habit is produced, the system is gradually 
toned up, and the invalid is rejuvenated. 

Do not imagine that one must live on oat-meal and such things 
always. In a short time the patient may go back to the food he really 
enjoys, but he has learned, perhaps, by this time, not only to enjoy 
simple food, but to do all things (eating included) in moderation, so that 
Nature is not soon called upon again to restore her disturbed balance. 



CHAPTER II. 



SMALL AILMENTS. 




i^y^OUBTLESS, much reform is due to over- 

^^^ zealous work of fanatics, but he who makes 

the unqualified statement, as published in 

an article on health, a short time past, 

"Teach your daughters to be ashamed of 

a headache," certainly commits a grave error. 

To teach a child to desire health as a bless- 
ing, to be greatly prized and worthy of much 
sacrifice of artificial pleasure, is one thing, but to incul- 
cate a shame of being ill, is entirely another — it is to sow 
seeds for diseases in after life, which no amount of care 
can cure, no amount of remorse can alleviate. 

What has happened to the child? Only a little fall ! 
Get up, my son ! Be a man ! Don't cry for such a 
little thing! "But my knee hurts'' persists the child 
through his tears. "Nonsense! what if it does? Run 
around and forget all about it?" 
Six months later, the mother learns to her unspeakable sorrow, 
that perfect rest at the time of that " little fall," was absolutely neces- 
sary, to allow nature to repair the injur}^ — an injury for which there 
is now no remedy, though artificial methods have been resorted to 
for weeks, to the torture of the child, to try to effect the cure which 
nature would have made in a few days, with care upon the part of 
mother and patient. 

One child, well known to the writer, " had a bad habit of crying " 
as a baby. The parents endured it, albeit not always stoically, 
for a certain length of time. Now, babies do not cry, day in 
and day out, for nothing, but these parents assumed, as do many 
other parents, that the child was "cross." So when the child 
grew older, old enough as they thought to understand, she was 
punished for her perverse fretfulness. The feelings of the parents 



THE SICK-ROOM. 



21 



can better be imagined than described, when they discovered, as 
the child very slowly learned to walk, that one little leg was 
shorter than the other, and that she gave evidence of incurable hip 
disease. Poor little creature ! The misery she had endured as 
a fretful, speechless, misunderstood baby, is beyond computation. 
A child complains ^— e.^__,,^^___^ child flesh 

of a headache, a nH|H|^^^^H^^^^^HHB [g \^qIj^ ^q — 

sick stomach, a stiff ^HHIilllJ^^^^^^^^^^^^H ^^^ trifles in 
neck — any one of bBT"' ^iiS^IPH^^^^^^H themselves 
the thousand ills that W^^^T^UmW^^^^^^^K^M perhaps. 

Dismissed 
summarily 
she be- 
comes reti- 
cent about 




her ailments, and the mother never learns of the hundred impru- 
dences the child commits. 

^ When adults have so litde judgment in regard to a right mode 
of living, what especial exercise of that faculty can we expect to see 
exhibited by children ? A child may readily eat imprudently, but if 



214 QUEEN OF HOME. 

she never complains of the result of the imprudence, she may con- 
tinue to eat imprudently directly under the eyes of the most careful, 
watchful mother; for, many times, even the simplest diet should be 
avoided as aggravating a state of the stomach which needs only rest 
for recuperation. She may drink ice-cold water or milk, after she 
has become much heated, and if the mother never sees the perform- 
ance, and the child is never supposed to complain of attendant dis- 
comfort, the process is likely to be repeated once too often, and 
she is sacrificed on the shrine of ignorance — ignorance on the part 
of the. child as to proper care — on the part of the mother, as to the 
actions of the child. 

There are many things in childhood of so slight a nature as to 
seem absolutely unimportant, but these slight derangements, if 
allowed full sway, often result in diseases of the gravest character — '■ 
and while I would not for one moment recommend the course of 
treatment for children known as ''molly coddling," I would most 
certainly urge upon mothers the necessity of hiowing, by personal 
inspection, that all is right with their children. 

How much irreparable injury has been done by over-jumping of 
rope ; by racing under a tropical sun ; by bathing in an exposed place 
in the heat of the day; much, if not all, of which might have been 
avoided if the mother had carefully Investigated a little pain in the 
head or stomach, and not waited for weeks, to learn through wretched 
results, that her child ''has been in the habit" of committing through 
ignorance, utmost imprudences. 

When children have an ache or a pain, it is not always some- 
thing for them to be ashamed of, but rather a matter of reproach to 
the parents, as being the inherited result of imprudence, or the effect 
of ignorance or carelessness upon the part of parents. 

A child should never be permitted to suffer an unnecessary pain, 
even if of slight duration, as the strain upon the nerves is something, 
the effect of which we can hardly calculate. A gathering finger can 
be relieved in a few moments, by placing the finger in water as hot 
as can be borne, increasing the heat from moment to moment. In a 
short time the pus has arisen to the surface, where a fine needle will 
produce instant relief. To be sure it may be necessary to repeat 
the same process in the course of a few hours, but why not give 
relief when you can ? In most cases this treatment hastens the 
consummation of the trouble to such an extent that the one opening 
is all-sufficient, and instead of three or four days of poulticing and 



THE SICK-ROOM. 215 

misery, ending only with the surgeon's knife, the whole thing is 
practically over in a few hours. 

•'Only a toothache," is the remark when some forlorn little 
member of the household presents herself, in a state of distress, 
before a visitor, and as it is "only a toothache," the sufferer does not 
receive sympathy in any degree commensurate to the misery she is 
enduring. Perhaps she is facetiously or impatiently asked, why she 
does not have it out. But, let me tell you, it takes a courage that all do 
not possess, to have a tooth out, even when it is the known relief for 
suffering. It is an operation before which strong men have quailed, 
and yet a little child is laughed at, or reproved, for not submitting to it 
bravely and at once. Some physician has said: *'We give our friend 
with the toothache but scanty sympathy, but for the one with the cancer 
we have great pity. The pain of each is precisely like the other." 

The pain of the earache is quite as difficult to bear as that 
of the toothache, and one has the added conviction that it is impossible 
to remove the offending member, and thus do away with the trouble 
forever. Few will believe, unless convinced by experience, the 
intimate connection existing between the throat and the ear. A 
butler who lived in a family where there were two or three medical 
students among the sons, was quite disgusted, upon applying to one 
of them for a remedy for growing deafness, to receive a gargle. 
Vainly he insisted that it was his ear in which he was deaf, not his 
throat. The student insisted that the gargle would cure it. Much 
to the butler's astonishment the student's declaration proved true. 

The condition of the ear depends much upon the condition 
of the throat. The air passages between the two become clogged 
or closed by inflammation, and the result is often entire or partial 
deafness. If the tonsils become swollen from cold, the pressure upon 
the ear glands is great, and often earache is merely the result of a 
cold in the throat. Another source of discomfort to the ear is 
teething, and the cutting of the sixth and twelfth year molars seems 
to be especially attended with this complaint. Whether the children, 
being older, are better able to locate their ailments or not, is hardly 
to be judged, but it seems fair to conclude that that which can be 
produced in such a marked degree at those stages, may certainly 
accompany the same process earlier in life. 

Blows upon the side of the head, or any undue pressure brought 
to bear upon the ear, may often produce like results. One of the 
worst cases of earache (both as to intensity and duration) ever 



2i6 QUEEN OF HOME, 

known to the writer, was caused by the victim being forced by school 
companions to hang by his knees head-downwards from a fence. The 
rush of blood to an already sensitive ear produced a congestion, which 
caused intense prolonged agony. Children should be taught, from the 
beginning, in their play to carefully avoid hurting a playfellow's head 
in any way, as the brain and the eye, as well as the ear, are in danger. 

It is considered very funny by some would-be facetious adults 
to pick children up by the ears, to make them "see London," as it is 
called ; to pretend to whisper to them, and instead, shout or blow in 
the ear. These practices are highly reprehensible and cannot be too 
severely condemned. Last, but not least, comes cold, which settles 
in the ear itself and is the cause of intense pain, often causing 
gatherings and abscesses. 

Repeated attacks of earache will produce a thickening of the 
drum of the ear, if not actual perforation, and a permanent dullness 
of hearing. The pain of earache is one of the hardest to bear, and 
the nerves become terribly tried. A child who is, from one cause or 
another, frequently attacked by this complaint, becomes thin and pale. 
The nerves are jarred from recurring pain, the digestion is disordered 
in consequence, and appetite fails. The brain becomes weary from 
loss of sleep, and the victim is indeed in a pitiable plight. Guard the 
children as carefully as possible from all draughts, to avoid the possi- 
bility of catching cold. See that their feet are thoroughly protected 
from dampness. If their feet are wet, insist upon a change of stockings 
and shoes. Never allow one child to box the ears of another, whether 
that other is your own or not. Teach children early to guard their ears 
as they would their eyes, and do everything you can to keep their gen- 
eral health in good condition. Frequently, if a child has delicate ears, 
a fit of constipation or an attack of fever will produce earache. 

Heat, judiciously applied, is absolutely the only known relief for 
earache. And of all the "heats" hot steam is the most soothing. It 
is in this lies the virtue of the hop bag, but it soon grows cold, and 
is worse than useless. 

The easiest, and most effective and soothing method of applying 
steam, is to wet a piece of flannel and lay it, in several thicknesses, 
over a small iron well heated, but not too hot to be held in the hand 
or conveniently placed upon the pillow so that the steam may enter 
the ear. The steam will permeate every crevice as no fluid can do, 
and relief is soon experienced, unless there be a positive gathering 
or abscess. Even in the event of this being the case, relief is much 



THE SICK-ROOM. 217 

hastened. As said before, if a finger be red and angry, and threatened 
with a run-around, if the patient will endure dipping it in water almost 
boiling, the pus will be brought to the surface in a few moments. 
Frequently, under such treatment, no poulticing is necessary. So with 
the hot steam. If the cause of the pain in the ear be a real gathering, 
the application of the hot steam very much hastens the process. Some- 
times in the course of a half-hour the cause of the trouble may be dis- 
tinctly seen just at the entrance of the ear, in the shape of a white spot, 
which shows how quickly and surely the steam has done its work. 

One attack renders the victim prone to renewed trials of like 
nature. A tonic should be given, the appetite tempted by savory 
but nourishing food, till the system has gained its normal condition. 
After this is done, the child should undergo a thorough examination 
by some specialist able to locate the cause of the frequent recurrence 
of the attacks, when "he hasn't done one thing to bring it on." 
Parents will probably be surprised, in many cases, to learn that the 
cause of the disease has nothing whatever to do with the ear directly, 
and that severe treatment of the throat will be required for its cure, 
but it should be remembered that the trouble is a painful and serious 
one, and no effort should be spared by parents to relieve their 
children as far as possible from frequent attacks of "simple earache." 

But with all our care, with the utmost vigilance, spite of rigid 
sanitary rules, illness will creep into the family, and one member or 
the other succumbs to a sickness more or less violent, more or less 
lengthened, as the case may be. Then comes the time for the long, 
and often weary nursing, for which we are not always prepared, and 
about which so many of us are lamentably ignorant. Even in the 
simplest matters, the preparation of the simplest foods for the sick, 
the treatment of the patient herself, is this ignorance displayed, in 
most cases, greatly to the detriment of the invalid. 

"Can you make beef-tea?" asks the physician. "O, certainly," 
answers the nurse pro tern,, with an accent of disdain in her tone, as 
if beef-tea for the invalid were as simple a matter as soup for the 
well. And thereupon proceeds to serve up the most unappetizing, 
greasy decoction, in the most unappetizing manner, lamenting mean- 
while that her patient has no appetite. 

Feeling the importance of this matter oi food for invalids, in 
contradistinction to that prepared for the well, there will be given, a 
little later on, methods of preparing, in the very best way, and as 
sanctioned by physicians themselves, such food as invalids require. 



CHAPTER III. 



THE NURSE AND PATIENT. 



HE sick are, except children, easy of manage- 
ment. Certain concessions and allowances 
must be made to the natural idiosyncrasy of 
the individual, and when this is done, together 
with the proper nursing, little or no difficulty 
need be experienced. As a rule, much, more 
time and labor is spent in the unnecessary 
detail, of fixing and fussing in the sick-room, than is 
devoted to the absolute requisites of good nursing 
and comfort. The first care should be, that the room 
in which a sick person is - confined, be neither a 
sombre, forbidding chamber, with heavy drapings and 
stuffy furniture, which enforce repression of spirits 
and suppression of light, nor the place of resort for 
friends and gossiping neighbors. This does not en- 
tail the necessity of rigid plainness of furnishing, nor 
severe restraint in manner, nor the exclusion of every 
element of cheerfulness. Remove the curtains, if such hang about 
the bed, as was the usage years ago. Much must depend upon the 
physician's advice as to the surroundings of the patient, meaning, of 
course, by a patient, not that person who is confined to the house 
and forbidden the street for a day or two, simply for some slight 
malaise or digestive indisposition, but the person who is suffering 
from disability of protracted kind — such as infectious disease of some 
specific form, continued fevers running a definite course, nervous 
disease, injury of surgical character, etc. The confessed invalid 
suffering from debility or age, comes under the head of patient. 

The essential qualifications of a good nurse need not here be 
dwelt upon at length, for it will be impossible to furnish each home 




THE SICK-ROOM. 219 

with a trained nurse. A few words said about the nurse may not, 
however, be amiss. Few who undertake nursing, will understand at 
the outset of a serious case, the grave necessity of conserving their 
own strength, health and vitality. The fond mother, excited over 
the doctor's announcement that her first-born is seriously ill, plans 
to take full charge of the child. She is influenced, in her determination 
by some of the following reasons, i. e. either from pure love for her 
child, which blinds her to every other consideration, or from the 
indulgence of her maternal selfishness, which makes her jealous 
of another's service to what is hers, or, from the false sentiment 
aroused in her mind, by some sensational story of privation and 
endurance suffered by another fond mother, somewhere or other, 
who for days and nights did not leave a sick one's bedside ; or again, 
perhaps, from the worst form of vanity, which impresses her with the 
desire to hear, when the child shall be convalescing, the story related 
of her own great and enduring fidelity. 

Do not fall into any such. Let the mother-nurse's primary 
and sole desire be, to do the best for the child, whether by her own 
or another's nursing. Suppose the mother to have ensconsed 
herself as sole nurse, what follows ? In almost every instance, the 
strength and nerve of the nurse soon become exhausted, and she 
becomes the prey to fancied symptoms and nervous anxiety. This 
not only tells materially upon her efficiency as a nurse, but also soon 
exercises a depressing effect upon the patient. Even a child will 
quickly become impressed, and not beneficially impressed, by the 
constant overhanging of a pale, nervous or tear-stained face, and 
strained or sobbing voice. 

The maternal devotion which prompts sacrifice of self, is by no 
means to be ridiculed. It is often necessary, no assistance being 
near, or none available. But the instances are not common in which 
it is necessary. Let the mother remember that, of her life and 
strength and duties, she owes something to others than the sick, and 
that voluntary as. the excessive sacrifice in one direction may be, it is 
unwise and unjustifiable. 

Those untrained for nursing acquire most in their first cases 
from the exigencies arising, and from the exercise of rational judg- 
ment. From the physician in attendance, the direct instruction as to 
medication will be received and much learned — not in the way of 
knowledge of drugs, their indications and effects, but in the way 
of regular study and discipline of self and patient. There are, 



220 



QUEEN OF HOME. 




MORNING GLORIES. 



THE SICK-ROOM. 221 

however, many things the knowledge of which can be acquired and 
put to use, which wiU in no way interfere with the course of treat- 
ment or the physician's prerogatives, but which will militate greatly 
to the comfort of all concerned — things the detail of which may 
entirely escape the attention of the busy doctor. These may be put 
together and classed under the great head of "Sanitation of the 
Sick-room." The general sanitation and hygienic arrangements, and 
the direction of them, will be looked after by the physician, but he 
cannot be expected to examine every minute detail followed in the 
execution of his instructions. 

A most common occurrence in a sick-room, is the hurry and 
bustle of making the room ready for the physician's visit. His daily 
visit is paid in the morning ! Many things are allowed to fall into 
disorder during the following portion of the day. Upon his entry 
the room is neatly tidied up, the covers smoothly spread, and scraps, 
debris and articles of clothing removed from sight. After his de- 
parture, they are again allowed to fall into disorder, to be again 
hastily rearranged next morning. Let the sick-room require no 
preparation, no setting to rights for the visit of the doctor ; let there 
be no hurry of setting right before a visitor, who is permitted to see 
the sick one, is admitted to the room. Let there be no hurry, nor 
semblance of hurry; patients dislike it. Learn to do things rapidly 
and quickly, and without apparent haste, but keep the room in 
proper order. 

Dishes in which food has been brought can be promptly re- 
moved — not allowed to remain for hours upon chairs or upon the 
stand. Soiled clothing should be put at once into the proper place 
in the house, and the whole room have the appearance of comfort 
and order, which, be assured, will afford as much comfort to the 
patient, as pleasure to the visitor. There Is no necessity for the set 
formality of arrangements that might be made for a reception — 
there should be oi^der. 

The nurse must, for the patient's benefit, be wide-awake, alert, 
and capable of using, to the very best advantage, cool, quiet judgment 
together with a full amount of common sense. To do this, certain 
care is to be given to self. Twelve hours is fully long enough to 
remain in constant attendance on the sick. Sleep and rest must be 
procured, a few hours devoted to taking exercise of some kind, to 
effecting a change of thought and feeling — for example, by a little 
reading — and to freshening the person. 



222 QUEEN OF HOME. 

Noises affect sick people very painfully ; not the loud, necessary, 
constant noises of which they know the cause, but the unexpected, 
irregular, startling noises. A thoughtful nurse will look to it, that 
there are no creaking doors, no rattling windows, no falling of books 
nor dragging of chairs in or about her sick. Conversations ought 
never be carried on in painfully suppressed whispers, especially if the 
patient be sleeping, but, if you please, in the natural voice and in 
subdued tones. This does not rouse the patient with the sense 
of something unusual going on. Whispering excites the curiosity 
and arouses expectation. Persons conversing with a patient should 
occupy such a position that they can be seen by the patient without 
exertion, and should never address her from behind. 

Avoid coddling your patient by continual pattings and caressings. 
Do not give the impression of suffocation by constantly hovering 
about and hanging over the head of the bed. Ample watchfulness 
can be exercised without this form of annoyance to the patient, and 
without compelling her to breathe the air from your lungs and 
mouth. 

In making changes of the bed or clothing, or in performing any 
act for comfort, do it well and at once, and without haste. Do not 
fix a pillow or a spread half a dozen times in as many minutes, to 
suit you yourself, when once fixing should do. 

Let patients feel that service is not rendered in cold, perfunctory 
manner, but that there is a kindly and considerate sympathetic 
influence surrounding them. Gain their confidence by the manifest 
desire to assist and relieve, avoiding the coldness of a purely 
business-like attitude toward them. 

Exacting and irritable patients must be gently and firmly con- 
trolled, not humored nor forced. 

Avoid, also, continual questioning as to physical feelings, and be 
careful to prevent visitors from making remarks that, while they are 
intended to be sympathetic, are really very depressing. A doleful, 
sympathetic, *T am so sorry you are not feeling so well to-day. It 
must be very discouraging," will do more harm in three minutes than 
can be undone in three hours. 

Never speak suddenly to a patient, nor impart startling intelli- 
gence without preparation. The nurse may appear to wait anxiously 
for the doctor s preparation for departure, and then hail him as he is 

at the door with, "I want to ask you about Mrs. 's symptoms," 

or something akin to it, and steps outside to talk. Perhaps the 



THE SICK-ROOM. 223 

conversation is carried on just outside the door, where Mrs. can 

catch now and then a word of it, wondering all the time what there 
is about her so alarming, that the doctor and nurse cannot speak 
of it openly. The anxiety and suspense can do her no good, and 
has been unnecessarily aroused, since the nurse might easily have 
taken some other opportunity of speaking to the doctor. Such an 
occurrence is, however, not infrequent, and springs from thought- 
lessness, or an ignorant desire to appear mysterious and important. 
It is reprehensible, and to be avoided. 

Do not awaken the patient soon after falling asleep. In sickness, 
the brain, like other parts of the body, is weakened and depressed, 
requiring all the rest possible to strengthen it. Disturb the rest 
of the brain and you make it less likely to be resumed, till finally, 
sleep and rest become impossible, from what the physician terms 
''irritability" of the brain. 

Patients like changes, and pleasing appearances, and are very 
grateful for them. Change a piece of furniture about, set the chairs 
differently, change the bedspread, turn the swinging mirror in the 
bureau to a different angle, vary the position of the little nosegays 
that friends send in, etc. If some of the changes be not agreeable 
it is soon remedied. 

Preserve an equable temper, and an expression of cheerfulness 
and content — never a strained, forced hilarity — but be something 
pleasing to look upon. If weary, conceal it from your patient by the 
air of willing energy, for even the sick dislike the assistance that is 
rendered by a nurse who seems overtired, or whose manner is a 
constant complaint against trouble. 

Reading aloud is often an affliction to patients, borne because 
done in kindness, and because there is no alternative — for many 
patients feel that they must be entertained as long as strength lasts 
to endure it. As a rule, patients who have not the energy to 
read, have not the inclination to be read to ; and if there are 
interesting events happening, it is better to tell them than to read 
them. 

And now for a word to the patient herself While you are, of 
course, entitled to every consideration as an invalid, those who are 
waiting upon you have some rights also, which you are bound to 
respect. A nervous and naturally irritable patient can aid very 
materially in her own recovery, by a judicious exercise of self-control, 
a little of which is still left to every human being whose reason is 



224 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



not in any degree impaired. Think of the many steps, the weary 
hours, the Hfting, the carrying, the devotion night and day, and then, 
if possible, try to alleviate the cares of the watchers by a little 
thoughtfulness upon your own part. If your faithful and long- 
suffering nurse has just come up from the kitchen with a glass 
of milk for you, do not send her down again immediately for some- 
thing which you might as well have remembered before. 

If you cannot, by reason of your disease, aid your nurse in this 
way, you can, very materially, by bearing as patiently, and with as 
little outward irritation as possible, the necessary discomforts of a 
sick-room. 




CHAPTER IV. 



CLEANLINESS. 




LEANLINESS must be regarded as one of the 
chief essentials in a sick-room and about the 
sick. Not simply housewifely cleanliness, but 
universal sanitary cleanliness of everything in 
the room, from the spoon used for medicine or 
nourishmerit, to the chamber-set, on the wash- 
stand. 

To-day, the medical profession and every 
profession and business allied to it, is astir to discover 
the causes of disease, the specific poisons to which 
diseases are due, and the best and surest means of 
destroying those poisons. 

Many of the most fatal diseases have been traced to 
their origin, and much epidemic infection spared by the 
light thrown out by recent investigation and research. 
Yellow, typhus and typhoid fevers have, after close atten- 
tion and study, been traced to their sources, near and remote. 
Knowledge of the origin and of the character of the specific poison 
of a disease is of a twofold value. It enables us to prevent the 
spread of infection, and to combat its presence. The study of the 
theory of germ proliferation has yielded amazing results in the way 
of furnishing the means of checking epidemics, and by placing in the 
hands of every one, if not the power of destroying these germs, at 
least the power to prevent their proliferation. The destruction of 
these forms of germ life, and the prevention of their original develop- 
ment, while belonging to the department of sanitation, may be 
as accurately placed in the subdivision of cleanliness — antiseptic 
cleanliness. 

Little need be said of the necessity of personal cleanliness ; there 
can be no excuse for its absence, or the proper precaution for clean- 
liness of clothes, linen and bedding, except in certain forms of 
15 



226 QUEEN OF HOME. 

disease. The following hints may be accepted and practiced, unless 
at variance with the instructions of the attending physician. 

Ever)^ housewife knows the rapidity with which dust, dirt, lint, 
etc., accumulate in a furnished house, and how much greater the 
accumulation is when furnaces and stoves are in use. In the sum- 
mer, when the house can be open to a great extent, dusting and 
removal of dirt is a matter of but trifling annoyance, but when the 
weather necessitates windows and doors to be kept closed, except 
for the required ventilation, it is not so easy to spare annoyance 
to a bedridden person while cleaning the room. It is not always 
judicious to wrap the patient up, throw open the windows, and dust 
away till all is brushed clean, hence other means must be adopted. 
Where the floor is bare (which, by the way, is regarded by many to 
be best for sick-rooms — hospital wards are uncarpeted, and for sani- 
tary reasons) the process is simple enough, a damp cloth, not wet, 
can be passed gently over the floor, the lint and dirt accumulated 
and removed. The dampness will prevent the spreading of clouds 
of dust. Care must be used not to wet the floor sufficiently to leave 
a continued dampness in the room. If mats or strips of carpet are in 
use to subdue the sounds of the footfall, such can be shaken, beaten 
and aired, out of the room. Dusting can be done with the dust- 
cloth. This process should be repeated often enough to preserve 
sweetness and cleanliness. Where rooms are carpeted, a damp 
broom or damp cloth on a broom, will prevent the flying of much of 
the dust 'during the sweeping. 

The patient's body must be washed, and clothing changed with 
sufficient frequency to preserve sweetness. It is not rare to find 
that even an anxious and watchful mother will allow a sick child to 
remain in the same clothes for two or three days. This is more apt 
to occur when there is necessity for sufficient clothing to permit of 
the child sitting up part of the day. A very popular idea is, that if 
a child is suffering from croup or cold, it may not be washed for fear 
of more cold. If properly washed, the risk is a minimum. 

Many diseases require that special attention be given to the 
cleanliness of the surroundings. In diphtheria everything used in 
the sick-room should be thoroughly cleaned before being used by 
other members of the family. Handkerchiefs, towels, etc., that have 
been permeated by the poisonous exhalations from diphtheria, must 
be washed and disinfected to perfect cleanliness. Protracted boiling 
will destroy germs of this kind. The nurse attending upon cases of 



THE SICK-ROOM. 227 

contagion, will do well to wear wash materials, or if that is not 
possible and woolens are worn, the woolen stuffs should be cleansed 
of infection by subjection to heat or fumigation, before going among 
healthy people, especially among children. Precautions are infinitely 
better than cures, and no proper precaution should be spared. 

Malignant scarlet fever has been communicated through the 
medium of the hair and beard of the physician, the clothing having 
been changed, but no thought given to hair and beard. 

Scarlet fever cases, as well as cases of diphtheria, small-pox, 
yellow fever and cholera, should be isolated, and every means, 
looking to cleanliness and disinfection, adopted. Clothing worn by 
the patient must be washed, boiled and aired; bedding and bed 
clothing disinfected by heat or fumigation ; also drapings, curtains, 
lambrequins, etc. Let extra precautions be used to prevent contact 
with the healthy during convalescence. In small-pox, the precautions 
should be, if possible, still more rigid, and the subsequent cleanli- 
ness more carefully looked to. 

To purify by heat, the clothing or bedding must be submitted, 
for some considerable time, to a temperature of not less than from 
300° to 400° Fahrenheit. For instance — bake in an oven raised to 
that amount of heat. The best means of fumigation is to have the 
articles thoroughly saturated with the gaseous acid (sulphurous) con- 
tained in the fumes of burning sulphur. (The very best thing for 
safety is to destroy such clothing by fire.) Rooms, which have 
contained patients suffering from the infections mentioned, should be 
fumigated with sulphur. Sulphur is often burned and lime slacked 
near a patient with diphtheria, or membraneous croup, with the hope 
of effecting disintegration of the membraneous deposits in the air 
passages. Quicklime is an excellent germicide, but is more destruc- 
tive to wearing apparel than heat or sulphur, although some colors 
are destroyed by either lime or sulphur. 

In typhus, typhoid and yellow fevers, precautions must be taken 
regarding every exhalation, secretion and excretion of the body. 
These diseases are contagious, infectious and dependent upon germ 
life. Therefore, every precaution is necessary. The outbreak of 
typhoid has been traced to great distances. For instance — typhoid 
lever occurred in a family surrounded by the very best sanitary 
conditions. Investigations revealed the fact that the first of the 
family to be attacked were children who had taken quantities of milk. 
Typhoid was found to have broken out among children in other 



228 QUEEN OF HOME. 

families supplied with milk from the same dairy. The cows yielding 
the milk were found to feed in pasture, through which ran a small 
stream of water. This little stream was found to receive, higher up, 
the drainings from houses in which typhoid fever had, for some time, 
been epidemic. No precautions had been taken to destroy the 
typhoid poison germs in the infected neighborhood, and from this 
stream the cows had obtained all the water they drank. The poison 
procreating in the stream was taken by the cows, the milk they pro- 
duced giving rise to the disease in different locations. Where foul 
odors . exist in the sick-room, disinfectants may be used to purify the 
air, in addition to the necessary ventilation. Carbolic acid, tar, 
thymol, camphor, etc., are put in convenient form for use for this 
purpose, and can be had of any druggist. 

It has been found that certain preparations, dissolved in water, 
possess the property of preventing development and increase of the 
forms of bacilli (germ life), and possibly the property of destroying 
them. In making certain of the capital operations, especially in 
opening the abdomen, it has been the habit of many surgeons to 
operate within the spray of water bearing a percentage of carbolic 
acid or some other substance believed to prevent septic infection of 
the exposed parts by contact with air. This has given rise to the use 
of so-termed antiseptic dressing for wounds. It is found that water 
containing corrosive sublimate (corrosive chloride of mercury) pre- 
vents development of these germs ; one part to ten thousand parts, up 
to one part to two thousand parts of water is used, which would be 
about from six to thirty grains to the gallon. It cleanses vessels, and 
can be used for clothes, hands and bandages. It must be borne in mind 
that every solution of corrosive sublimate is violently poisonous, and 
if kept about must be carefully labeled and protected as a poison. For 
the sake of absolute safety it would better not be kept longer than the 
necessity for its tise exists. Soluble tablets can be obtained from the 
druggist, which render it easy to quickly prepare a solution at any time. 

A preparation of soda, the silico-fluoride, appears to possess 
about the same antiseptic properties as corrosive sublimate, and has 
the advantage of not being poisonous. Enough of a solution of one 
part to one thousand parts of water (say sixty grains to the gallon), 
which is the proper strength for use, would scarcely be swallowed 
at a draught to produce deleterious effects. 

In passing, it may be stated that a solution of either the corro- 
sive sublimate or silico-fluoride of soda, will be of great advantage 



THE SICK-ROOM. 229 

for cleansing of old ulcers, and surfaces yielding purulent or foul 
discharges, bad ears, etc. Wash the part freely with the solution, or 
lay on cloths saturated in it. To protect children from the form of 
sore eyes, which is apt to arise immediately or shortly after birth, 
and which is so destructive to sight, these solutions are invaluable. 
Wash out the eyes of the new-born babe freely with the weaker 
solution of corrosive sublimate, or with the solution of soda, one-half 
the strength mentioned above, and repeat it once or twice a day for, 
from three to five days. This will probably protect from the disease 
and be an excellent application, even if already acquired. Both these 
solutions are inodorous. 

Solutions of carbolic acid are most excellent for cleansing and 
disinfecting vessels, utensils, etc., and a little of it in the air of a 
room, where the odor is not unpleasant, purifies it. 

There are two other preparations in and about which bacteria will 
not procreate, but are both possessed of strong odor — they are phenol- 
sodique and iodoform. The former is a liquid, and can be used by 
admixture of water in proportions of from one part to ten of water 
up to one part to two. The latter is a powder, having a disagreeable 
odor, which it is impossible to disguise. In addition to their general 
purifying and antiseptic properties, they are good for cleansing and 
dressing of fresh wounds, cuts, burns, bruises, etc. 

Chloride of lime, for disinfecting purposes, may be used dry, 
sprinkled about, or in solution, one pound. to two gallons of water. 
Its power of disinfection depends upon the liberation of chlorine gas. 

Sulphate of iron, one pound to one gallon of water, is also a good 
disinfectant. The salt itself may be used, as may the chloride of 
lime, to disinfect cesspools and drain pipes. 

Nothing that is not absolutely pure and fresh should be allowed 
in the sick-room for one moment, and the nurse who refuses to 
remove, at once, anything detrimental to the health of the patient, 
upon the plea that "it is not her place, but the house-maid's," should 
herself be promptly removed as unfit for her position. 




CHAPTER V. 



VENTILATION. 




N sick-rooms, nothing needs more careful atten- 
tion than ventilation, yet, as a rule, nothing 
receives less of it. Ventilation of living-rooms 
promises to be a constant source of difficulty 
and dispute. Of a dozen persons assembled 
in a room, scarcely two will give the same opin- 
ion of the temperature and condition of the 
air, because people are so differently affected 
by temperature and air. From 68° to 72° Fahrenheit 
is a very pleasant temperature for most people indoors 
while moving about or taking moderate exercise. But 
few are comfortable sitting constantly in a pure air of 
68°. To properly ventilate a room, the air should be 
so constantly changed, as not to become vitiated, and 
yet all positive currents of air avoided. A very good 
means of shielding from the draught of an open or 
partly open window, is to allow the air therefrom to 
pass through loose, hanging curtains of lace, tulle or 
some such material. Unless the wind is blowing directly into the 
window, there will be no severe current, owing to the breaking of 
the air into small particles by the mesh of the curtain. In countr)' 
houses one of the best possible ventilators is the fire in the old- 
fashioned open fire-place. The heat establishes a current of air 
toward the fire, and the column of flame and heat ascending the 
chimney, takes it off. A fresh supply of air is sucked in through the 
chinks in the windows and around the doors, or from the inch or two 
of space afforded by raising or lowering the windows. 

The most injurious condition for a room — a living-room or sick- 
room — is that which ensues from constant heat without moisture. So 
many people enter a room in which they are to remain for some time, 



THE SICK-ROOM. 231 

and finding it rather cool, close up every orifice through which "cold" 
can come, start up the fire or open the register, through which fiarnace 
heat is admitted. Work, study or reading is begun, but afi:er a time, 
during which the heat still pours in, but no air is admitted, a torpor, 
languor, headache or drowsiness comes on. The fault is ofiien pinned 
to the dryness of the study, distaste for the work, or stupidity of the 
book, whereas the chief fault is, that the atmosphere has become 
depleted of moisture by the heat, has become super-heated, has 
become deprived of its oxygen by respiration, and in place of oxygen, 
is loaded with carbonic acid. The air no longer properly aerates the 
blood, and the brain and nervous system are fed by a blood which is 
incapable of furnishing nourishment, and incapable of replacing the 
waste of activity. Mental brightness, activity and physical energy, 
will not now be restored by simply loading the room with fresh, cool 
air, which is to go through the same process as the former air. The 
blood has absorbed a positive poison from the vitiated atmosphere, 
and has deposited it in the brain and nerve centres ; there to exercise 
its baneful influence till it is thrown off by the healthy, normal action, 
and till it is replaced by proper nourishment. 

If a high degree of heat is required, a correspondingly large 
supply of fresh air must be furnished, and that air must be provided 
with a certain amount of moisture while being heated. To furnish 
this moisture, if a stove be used for heating, place on it, or near it, a 
vessel of water, not, however, where it will soon boil dry, but in 
such a position that the air passing over it will absorb moisture. If 
furnace heat is had by means of a register, and there is no means of 
supplying moisture in the furnace, it can be done at the register by 
hanging over a part of it, a piece of thin material, such as muslin. 
Let the end of the material dip into a vessel of water; capillary 
attraction will draw the water high enough into the cloth to moisten 
the air passing through it. 

Now of the sick-room. While these precautions regarding 
ventilation are so necessary for those of sufficiently sound body to 
wait upon themselves, they are of greater necessity for the sick or 
bedridden, who require that nature shall be assisted in every possible 
way in its effort to throw ofi" disease and restore health. Bear always 
in mind that nature does the healing, you and the doctor but render 
the best assistance that common sense and science place in your 
hands, and be ever-ready to furnish that assistance. 

While attending faithfully to the administration of medicines and 



232 QUEEN OF HOME. 

food, do not forget that "God's own fresh air" is as nourishing 
through the lungs, as your food is through the stomach, and is often 
more desired. It is not necessary to subject your sick one to chill, and 
damp, and discomfort, to give fresh air ; the atmosphere constantly 
changing, for the sake of freshness, may be tempered with the proper 
amount of heat for comfort. 

So arrange the room that a stranger coming in from the adjoin- 
ing room would not at once recognize it as a sick-room from its 
stuffiness and foul atmosphere. Do not smile at the idea ! A physi- 
cian wandering around a house can often detect a sick-room upon 
entering it, and for two reasons — first, by the changed atmosphere, 
and, second, by the subdued light. 

Is there need for so much talk about ventilation ? Let us see 
the facts. An adult will vitiate about one gallon of air each minute. 
Little calculation is required to ascertain how much air will be vitiated 
during a night's sleep. Put a patient and a nurse for one night into 
an ordinary bedroom, without ventilation, and calculate how pure 
the air will be in the morning, and see if you are not astonished. If 
you are not impressed with the necessity of keeping the room venti- 
lated, ventilate it for the sake of others. If you wish, make this 
experiment on your own feelings — sleep a few nights in a small 
room, without ventilation, and then in the same room ventilated. 
The result of the experiment will probably be that you will want 
fresh, pure air, all you can get of it, and that you will be willing to 
grant it to others. 

The great variety of ill-constructed rooms renders it impossible 
to lay down any fixed rules for ventilation, but when a room is sur- 
rendered to the use of the sick, let someone devise the means of 
comfortably ventilating it. 

There are cases of sickness which require a greater amount of 
heat and moisture than that usually accorded. Croup and diphtheria 
often need to be kept for days in a temperature as high as 90"", and 
excessively moist. 




CHAPTER VI. 



LIGHT BATHING CLOTHING. 



N old popular idea now disappearing — may it 
soon be written, now disappeared — was, that 
light should be suppressed in the sick-room, 
and "a dim, religious light" maintained. The 
fact is that all nature lives, develops, grows 
and thrives in the light. 

The economical housewife, who preserves 

the gorgeous or delicate colors of her carpets 

and hangings, by protecting them from the light, stops 

not to think and cares not, that those colors were born 

of the same light and sunshine that painted the ruddy 

glow and healthful color in her children's cheeks and lips. 

By excluding the light and sunshine she preserves the 

c^;^y, colors in her carpets, but she also prevents the birth and 

'^P' restoration of color in a sick one's face. 

The spirits are not alone or first affected by light, it 
is the health and strength that are affected, and the brightness of 
spirits is but the evidence of it. Furthermore, light is the great 
purifier of the air. The lighter and brighter the room, the purer and 
cleaner the air. Clean air will not always be cool, for the very 
impurities present in air make it seem cooler. 

If possible, select for the sick-room, one into which the sun may 
shine. Arrange the bed so that the patient can look out of one or 
more windows and see the sky, if nothing more. 

Long observation in hospitals, prisons, asylums, etc., shows that 
the sick recover more quickly, and that the well thrive better, and 
are in better spirits on that side of the building having a southern 
exposure. Among a large number of patients in a freely-lighted, 
sunny hospital ward, but a very small number will endeavor to avoid 
the light. Fewer die on the south side than on the north side. 




234 QUEEN OF HOME. 

Idiocy, melancholy, the development of scrofula and consumption, 
appear to be favored by darkness and constant shade. 

Without being able to give a reason for it, the sick will be found 
lying most frequently with the face toward the light. The reason 
for it they cannot, themselves, comprehend, and hence cannot explain 
it. It is the strong enforcement of nature's demand for light. 
Exactly the same thing may be observed in the vegetable kingdom — 
plants grow toward the light, and the most beautiful flowers face 
the sun. 

Individual instances will be found in which there is intolerance 
of light for a greater or less time. In small-pox, when the matured 
and discharging pustules become confluent, it is believed that less 
pitting and deformity will take place when the light is entirely excluded 
from the face, or a black mask applied. 

The nurse must bear in mind that it is not his or her comfort 
and welfare to be accommodated, but that of the patient, and that 
the ventilation, light and sunshine are to be regulated accordingly. 

Before leaving the subject it may be well to say a word in regard 
to flowers in the sick-room. There is a very strong and popular 
prejudice against the presence of growing plants and flowers in the 
sick-room, because it is said they give off carbonic acid gas, which is 
poisonous. They do give off this poisonous gas, but not in sufficient 
quantity to counteract, by poisonous influence, the benefit of the 
pleasure their beauty and presence in the room yield the patient. In 
reality it would take several very large bunches of flowers to give 
off, in a night, as much carbonic acid gas as would be liberated by one 
bottle of "mineral water." 

Flowers of very strong odor, such as hyacinth, tuberose, etc., 
though pleasant at first, soon render the atmosphere too heavy 
and oppressive for the comfort of the sick, and may wisely be 
excluded from the sick-room altogether. Remove flowers that are 
drooping and falling to pieces, or replace them by fresh ones, lest the 
presence of nature's beautiful growth, undergoing decay, may 
depress the spirits of the patient. 

While giving to the sick every possible attention and considera- 
tion, we must not neglect that ever-important consideration to health, 
namely, the cleaning of the body by bathing or washing. We do 
not feel so bright and well if, after rising in the morning, we go 
about our various duties without washing our face, neck and hands. 
The comfort derived from ablutions is due to the removal of secre- 



THE SICK-ROOM. 235 

tions from the skin and re-establishment of its unrestricted action. 
These secretions accumulate upon the skin during rest and sleep, 
occlude the openings of the glands and destroy the natural pliancy 
and mobility, together with its comfortable feeling. The secretions 
will be re-absorbed into the blood if allowed to remain upon the 
skin. Washing away the secretions from the skin restores its 
healthy condition and feeling, just as washing out the mouth restores 
its condition. 

General bathing is not usually performed daily, except, possibly, 
in the summer season, but everyone washes the face and hands 
several times a day. The skin of the body, arms and legs is pro- 
tected by clothing from much that is deposited upon the face and 
hands by contact with the air and soiled objects. The secretion of 
the innumerable little glands are poured out just as actively and 
constantly on covered parts as on exposed parts of the body, but 
appearance does not require their so frequent removal, and from 
habits of endurance the discomfort of their non-removal is not so 
marked. 

The skin may truly be regarded as one of our organs, and as 
such, should receive as much attention as our other organs. The 
glow and reaction of the skin, after bathing and drying, establishes a 
beneficial condition of the general circulation, which is helpful to 
every other organ. 

The body of your patient need not be plunged into a bath-tub 
in order to experience the beneficial influence of a bath. If there 
be danger in exposing a large portion of the body at one time, 
proceed as follows : wash the face and neck, and dry them off; wash 
and dry first one arm and shoulder, the rest of the body remaining 
covered ; then take the other arm and shoulder ; next, a part of the 
trunk ; next, the legs, one at a time. If the patient be very weak, 
this process gone through with as above, can be done in stages, 
allowing an interval of rest between, to avoid complete exhaus- 
tion. This should be done at least once a day, especially if the 
patient is feverish or perspiring freely. Should there be fear of 
taking cold during the bath, the room may be closed up and extra 
heat admitted for the time. Use tepid or warm water, with soap, or 
add a little toilet-water or cologne to the water. Dry with a warm 
soft towel. As some cases of heart disease and other troubles are 
unpleasantly affected by the bath, it is, perhaps, better to consult the 
physician about the character and frequency of bathing your patient. 



236 QUEEN OF HOME. 

At all events do not forget to give what comfort you can by wash- 
ing the face and neck. If the patient is not dangerously low and 
weak, the process of bathing and drying will be of benefit for 
another reason — the muscular exertion required and the gentle 
kneading of the drying, supply, in a measure, the tonic effect of 
exercise. In other words, it is a mild application of the massage 
treatment. 

In health, an adult will exhale from the skin and lungs, three 
pints or more of moisture in the twenty-four hours, which moisture 
is freighted with effete organic matter of all kinds. The quantity of 
exhalations in sickness is often much greater than in health, and is 
usually of a more poisonous character, and less fitted to be left in 
contact with the body, which has thrown it off as waste. 

What becomes of this moisture and waste organic matter? It is 
taken up for the most part by the garments and bed clothing, and 
there it stays, surrounding the body with its evil influences, till 
removed by changing the garments and bed. Think of this some- 
times when you are both anxious for the welfare of a sick one, and in 
too great haste to perform some routine household duty, to stop to 
change the sick-bed ; and let your thinking of it profit the sick by 
constraining you to execute your highest duty first, and let the house- 
hold wait a few moments longer. 

Let the clothing be changed after each ablution. In cases 
which are not allowed to sit up at all, the night-dress is all that 
need be worn. 

Change all clothing upon the patient once daily. It may not 
need to go to the wash-tub, but let it be hung in the air, to become 
freshened and sweet. Two night-dresses may be in use for four 
days — put one on, wear it twelve hours, remove and put on the 
clean one. The first one is freshened and aired, and ready to put 
on again, and so on till each has been on three or even four times. 
Remember here, that the clothing of persons suffering from infection, 
must not be exposed in a way to cause risk to others. 

Sufficient covering should be provided for the bed, to keep the 
patient comfortable, but not enough to oppress by its weight and 
thickness. Naturally, the amount and weight of covering must 
depend much on the patient's individual requirements for heat; but 
sheet, blanket and spread are usually sufficient in a properly heated 
and ventilated room. 

Use light, thin blankets — the thick, heavy blanket and cotton- 



THE SICK-ROOM. 237 

padded quilt are bad, because they are impervious to air, and confine 
the emanations from the body, which should escape through them. 

Arrange the pillows, not in great banks against the head of 
the bed, but so that when the head lies upon them its weight is not 
thrown forward upon the chest, but rests tipon the pillows, leaving the 
chest and shoulders free for use in breathing. 

Tall people suffer more than short ones from long confinement 
in bed, on account of the greater drag of the legs upon the region 
of the waist. On this account it may be a benefit to occasionally 
support, and slightly raise the legs on pillows. 

There are cases to nurse who cannot move around freely in the 
bed, or who cannot move at all. Then care must be exercised in 
changing the bed-linen. If the patient can be rolled from side to 
side, a change of the sheet may be made as follows: the patient 
lies well over on one side, the soiled sheet rolled or pressed close to 
the back, the fresh sheet is laid in folds upon itself of about six or 
eight inches wide, and is also pressed close up to the patient's back, 
either on or under the other sheet. Now let the patient roll over to 
the other side, back down — rolling over the bundles of sheeting will 
entail some slight discomfort — the soiled sheet is removed and the 
clean one unfolded and spread. In this way no lifting or pulling of 
the patient is necessary. The sheet that is to be immediately 
put back on the bed, after its removal, should be more carefully 
warmed and dried by the fire than a clean one. If both are damp, 
the clean one has the advantage of possessing a clean dampness, 
the soiled one has the foul dampness of the exhalations from the 
body, and hence must be more carefully dealt with. 

Have a low bedstead in preference to a high one, and do not 
have it piled to the ceiling with mattresses and feather-beds. Where 
there is any danger of bed-sores, never put a blanket under the 
patient. 

People are most apt to take cold upon first getting out of 
bed, because the skin is relaxed after hours or days of lying there, 
and is less capable of reaction. The same temperature which 
refreshes a patient in bed, while protected by the bed clothing, might 
destroy the patient just arisen. Common sense will tell us, from , 
this, that which we want is pure air. We, of course, want that 
whjch cannot chill the sick person. Enforce the quick and ample 
protection of the body against chill upon rising from bed during 
convalescence. 



238 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



There is a general tendency of the body to produce less heat 
during sickness than in health. When the actual temperature is 
found to be markedly sinking at any particular time, heat would 
best be applied externally by means of hot bricks, bottles, etc., or 
better than all these contrivances, by means of the gum bag, fitted 
with a screw stopper, filled with hot water. 

Toward morning, in sickness or health, the heat of the body 
becomes less, owing to the recumbent position, and to the exhaustion 
of the strength gathered from nourishment of the previous day. 
Have an extra blanket ready to spread over the patient, when about 
daylight, or before you notice the evidence of chilliness. 




CHAPTER VII. 



DIET. 



IVE to the sick, food of good quality, well pre- 
pared, and let it be given regularly, without 
trying to force more upon the patient than can 
be comfortably taken. 

The physician's instructions should be as 

carefully followed in regard to diet as in regard 

to medication, and his selection of a diet list will 

be influenced by the desire to furnish only such 

nourishment as the system requires and will assimilate. 

Present it freshly cooked and in good order, and 

never upon an overcrowded plate. If it is not taken, 

remove it, and do not leave it standing in sight, till time 

for the next meal ; it produces disgust for what there is 

already distaste for. Avoid soiling the sheet and pillow 

by drippings from plates and cups ; have everything that 

is brought to the bedside clean and dry on the outside 

and bottom. 

Meats are strengthening and good, but a patient must not be 

confined to meat diet — meat, meat-broths, beef-teas, etc. Vegetables 

or fruits in some form must be given. 

Milk contains more of the nourishments required to sustain 
life than any other single article used as food. When it can be 
digested, cream is still better than milk, containing more of the fats. 
Undoubtedly meats come next. Eggs are a good article of diet, 
though they disagree with so many people of nervous and billions 
temperament; but an ^gg is not "equivalent to a pound of beef- 
steak," nor to the quarter of it. 

Beefsteak, chicken and other fresh meats, cooked plainly and to 
suit the palate, are the most nourishing and sustaining. Good wheat 
bread is not to be forgotten ; and give butter with it, both because 




240 QUEEN OF HOME. 

with butter it is more easily eaten, and because more of it is eaten. 
Next after breads from wheat flour, come those made from oat, 
Indian-corn and rye flours. These flours may be made into gruels, 
or the grain, prepared as "grits," cooked and served with butter or 
cream, or both. These are of more value than corn-starch or 
arrow-root, though the latter are prepared in a variety of tasty ways, 
to please the palate and coax the appetite. Calves'-foot jelly, a 
favorite infliction of nurses and friends, is of minimum value as a 
nutriment, but is pleasant to take. 

Many foods are prepared for sale in the stores. Beef-teas, 
beef-j.uices, peptonized and digested foods, lactated and malted 
milks, malted extracts, prepared cereals for infants, etc., to an 
indefinite number. Many of these possess nutritive properties 
of great value, while others are comparatively worthless. 

Beef-teas have been the source of large gains to manufacturers, 
and of much damage to the human system. Som^e time ago an 
eminent physiologist, with the view of testing the nutritive properties 
of a beef-tea sold largely in the community, selected a healthy dog 
and fed him upon the tea-water, but no solid food. The dog soon 
displayed all the symptoms of absolute starvation — showing that, 
although the dog had been a meat eater, that meat in this form did 
not furnish nourishment enough to sustain life. The result of this 
experiment would seem to prove, that we have placed too much 
confidence in many articles of prepared food, which bear good 
names. It is about as well that the "beef-tea" fad appears to be 
dying out, for unquestionably, beef-tea is better made at home, and 
made from healthy meat of good quality. 

Coffee and tea, where people are in the habit of using them, 
should not always be denied. They appear to exercise a peculiar 
effect upon the system, not perhaps nourishing, but they seem to 
conserve the elements of the body, and to a certain extent prevent 
waste. Something of the same may be said of beef-tea, that while 
the solid nourishment in it does not amount to much, as can be seen 
by evaporating the water from a pint of it, yet in some way or other 
it yields good results, and is quite as good when mixed with other 
articles of food, as when taken alone. 

One of the prepared foods which has yielded most general 
satisfaction as a source of nourishment for infants and adults, is 
known as Mellin's Food, 

The more nearly the diet can be conformed to the diet of the 



THE SICK-ROOM. 241 

patient in health, the more satisfactory it will usually be to the 
patient. Often, from lack of time or help, it will be necessary to 
employ some form of prepared food, which can be quickly made 
ready for use. Under such circumstances, obtain the advice of a 
physician as to what form to employ. 

When milk is largely used as an article of diet, for either the 
well or the sick, the source of it should be ascertained. It should 
come from good, healthy cows, which have received every sanitary 
attention. Procure your milk from a thoroughly reliable dairyman, 
or learn for yourself that the cows yielding it are furnished with 
clean and well-ventilated stables, good pasture, good dry food, and 
fresh, pure water. If you have any doubt whatever about the health 
of your milk, boil it all before using it. Put it on the fire in a farina 
boiler, letting it boil thoroughly for some minutes. Allow it to cool ; 
then strain or skim off the curd from the top. It can then be taken 
cold or warm. The change of taste occasioned by the boiling is 
rarely unpleasant. Milk, by the way, may become contaminated not 
only from diseased condition of the cow, but from the readiness with 
which it becomes impregnated with whatever is floating in the air 
about it. Buttermilk is refreshing and possesses nutrition. 

Sugars and sweet things, where desired, replace certain of the 
wastes that are constantly going on. Do not stint the condiments ; 
salt and pepper are required — especially salt — and there exists the 
same demand for it in sickness as in health. Vegetables are in such 
great variety, at all seasons of the year, that nothing need be said as 
to their selection for food ; only see that none are given which have 
been forbidden by the physician. Potatoes in some form will ever 
be a standard article of diet, though there are diseases of the 
kidneys in which they may be strictly prohibited. Fresh fruits and 
fruit juices are craved by sick people, especially when convalescing, 
and are both agreeable and beneficial. 

The patient's craving, or "fancies," are often the echoings of 
nature's intelligent appeal to have a certain something supplied to 
it ; and instead of being ignored, as they too often are, should 
receive consideration, even if they are not gratified. 

Malt liquors of various kinds, given in small quantities, are 
of frequent benefit. In the insomnia of extreme weakness, con- 
sequent upon impoverished nerve force, a few ounces of good ale 
or stout, taken late in the evening, will often induce salutary rest 

and sleep. Wines, brown stout, ales and beer should be administered 
16 



242 QUEEN OF HOME. 

with great care, in order that they do not impair the action of any 
of the organs, or produce too much stimulation of improper kind. 
A good rule is, to give alcoholic stimulants only by order of the 
physician. It will not, I trust, be trespassing upon the prerogatives 
of the physician to state here, that marked benefit has been gained, 
in cases of marasmus and obstinate summer troubles of infants, by 
the administration, at intervals, of a teaspoonful of good claret. 

A very common error in feeding the sick is that of forcing bulk 
of food instead of quality upon them ; feed a patient for the sake 
of the nutriment he is to derive from the food, and not for the 
sake of. taxing his digestion. If all the beef-teas and broths, brought 
to the patient by the quart, were taken, would not his poor stomach 
and digestion be disordered from overwork ? See that the food is 
of fitting quality and possessed of proper nourishment ; give it in a 
form that will please, and in such quantity as will meet the demand 
of nature, without either overloading or overtaxing the power of 
disposing of it. 

And now a most important injunction to everyone who shall be 
called upon to nurse. Never forget that your patient wants water. 
What more inhuman can now be imagined than to permit a person 
whose tongue and mouth are dry and burning, and whose whole 
system is scorched with fever, to lie for hours imploring a drink 
of water, and that drink denied him ; yet it has not been so long ago 
as to be forgotten by some living, that such was frequent. You 
want water to quench your thirst, and so does your patient. Nothing 
on earth but water will satisfy a certain thirst, and since water will 
satisfy it, and nature must have it, do not deny it. 




CHAPTER VIII. 



FOOD FOR INVALIDS EMERGENCIES. 



VERYBODY knows how to make these simple 

things, and perhaps everybody will likewise 

scorn to see them again in print, but be that 

as it may, they are given with the hope that 

some will be saved the necessity of confessing 

they do not know how to prepare what every 

household is expected to yield on very short 

notice. 

To boil rice : first, thoroughly wash the rice in cold 

water, in a cullender or over a sieve, in order to free 

the grains from any fine powder or meal that may be 

adherent to them, then put on to cook. A farina boiler 

is the best for this. Put in three times the quantity 

of boiling water as rice ; cook till each grain is so 

softened that it can no longer be detected as a grain in 

eating it, but not till the shape of the grain is destroyed 

and the whole mass is reduced to a paste ; if there is still too much 

moisture in it, remove the lid for a few minutes. 

For oat-meal gruel : mix a tablespoonful of oat-meal with a little 
cold water, till it makes a smooth paste. Pour this gradually into a 
pint of boiling water, and boil slowly for twenty or thirty minutes, 
stirring to prevent scorching and sticking. Salt, spice and wine or 
brandy may be added. 

To make toast-water: remove the crust from a slice of stale 
bread, and toast the slice thoroughly on both sides without burning ; 
break into four or six pieces, and put into a vessel with a small piece 
of lemon or orange peel ; pour on a pint of boiling water, cover 
with a napkin, and when cool, strain off- the water for use. 

To make wine whey : to half a pint of sweet milk, raised to a boil 
slowly, add a wine glass of sherry wine, mixed with a teaspoonful 
of sugar. Grate into it a little nutmeg, and remove from the fire as 
soon as it again comes to a boil. When cool, strain for use. 




244 QUEEN OF HOME. 

Milk punch: pour two tablespoonfuls of good brandy or whisky 
into eight tablespoonfuls of sweet milk, and add two tablespoonfuls 
of crushed loaf sugar; if agreeable, grate into it a little nutmeg. 
An adult can take one or two tablespoonfuls of this every two or 
three hours, but in giving to children remember it is one-tifth brandy. 

To make lime-water: put a small piece of unslaked lime into a 
perfectly clean bottle ; fill with cold water ; cork, and place in a dark, 
cool spot. In a few minutes it is ready for use. Pour off the clear 
lime-water, without stirring or shaking up the sediment; when the 
water is exhausted more can be added. 

Make a flaxseed poultice by slowly adding to a sufficient quan- 
tity of flaxseed meal enough cold water to make it the consistency 
of thick mush. Heat to just short of boiling, and spread. Lard on 
the surface or mixed into it will keep it from sticking to the flesh. 

To make a mustard plaster: thoroughly mix equal parts of 
ground mustard and rye flour (or wheat flour if more convenient) 
upon a plate or saucer. Add enough cold water to make a soft 
mass. Hot water destroys some of the properties of the mustard. 
Spread, and cover with a piece of gauze to keep from sticking. If it 
is intended for a child, use more rye flour than mustard, according 
to the age of the child. 

Lead-water lotion : dissolve half an ounce of suo-ar of lead 

o 

(acetate of lead) in a pint or pint and a half of cold water, using an 
earthenware or china vessel ; then add one or two tablespoonfuls 
of good cider vinegar. This is an excellent application for bruises 
and sprains. If the sprain or bruise is very painful, add two table- 
spoonfuls of laudanum, and you have a valuable ''lead- water and 
laudanum." If it is kept, it must be carefully labeled poison. 

Emergencies require prompt, decided and intelligent action. 
What are you going to do while your messenger is summoning the 
physician, who, perhaps, lives at a great distance ? You will certainly 
try to do something, either what you "have heard tell" of as good, 
or that which common sense dictates to you. What follows, being a 
general synopsis gathered from the best authorities, and briefly 
stated, may be of value in suggesting something to do. 

Drowning. If a body is recovered from the water after not more 
than half an hour immersion, restoration to life should be attempted, 
and persisted in for a couple of hours, at least till the arrival of a 
physician, who shall determine whether the efforts be abandoned or 
continued. Turn the body face down, and depress the tongue, to per- 



THE SICK-ROOM. 245 

mit any water in the mouth and throat to escape. Do not roll on a 
barrel, nor bruise and mawl the body about, but resort to artificial 
respiration without loss of time ; apply heat and friction with the dry 
hands. To use artificial respiration : draw the arms away from the 
sides and upwards till they meet over the head ; bring them down to 
the sides, allowing the forearm to bend upward on the arm ; bring the 
elbows together forcibly against the chest, till they almost meet over 
the pit of the stomach. Repeat this full movement sixteen or eighteen 
times in each minute. Restoration will not always follow, but this is 
the best method of procedure, and is worth a couple of hours trial. 

Carbonic acid and carbonic oxide poisoning, such as often occurs 
in the descent into wells, or from inhaling the fumes of burning 
charcoal. Strip the body; dash cold water upon it; use frictions 
and artificial respiration. 

For sunstroke: use cold douches to the body, particularly to 
the head and chest, and continued rubbing with ice. 

For fainting: place the person in such position that the head 
shall be lower than the body. If lying on the back, do not raise the 
head ; for by keeping the head low the blood is allowed free access 
to the brain. If the fainting person be seated in a chair, do not 
hesitate to tilt the chair backward upon the floor, allowing the head 
to rest upon the floor and the feet to hang over the seat of the chair. 

For scalds and burns : apply bi-carbonate of soda (baking 
soda) in solution, or dampen the part and sprinkle the soda on ; 
cover it with a soft, damp cloth until the fire is removed, which will 
be evidenced by the lessening of the acuteness of the pain. Dress 
with cosmoline, or with the usual lime-water and linseed oil. 

To extinguish burning clothing. When the clothing catches fire 
throw the person flat on the ground ; this prevents the tendency 
of the flames to rise about the face and hair, and lessens the danger 
of inhaling them. Do not lose a second in rolling the person in 
carpet, or blanket, or rug, or anything heavy at hand. In order to 
better protect the head, begin the rolling, if possible, at the neck and 
go downward. Extinguish the flames in this way, then deal with the 
burns by covering ..them with lime-water and oil, lather of soap, or 
if not too extensive, with soda, and send for a physician. If your 
own clothing catch fire, be sure you do not lose your head ; do not 
attetnpt to rush for assistance — do promptly the same for yourself 
as you would have been quick to do for another. Should you feel 
very much alarmed, stop a few seconds to deliberate. It may be 



246 QUEEN OF HOME. 

years to your life to do the right thing now ; so be sure you do it. 

Dislocation and fracture. If someone has been injured, and 
you suspect a dislocation or a fracture, put the injured part in as 
comfortable a position as possible, without much handling, and 
secure medical aid. If it is necessary to carry any distance, place 
the person on the back, on something firm and steady, and it may 
be of advantage to support the part in some way. When a leg is to 
be supported, it can be done by lightly binding it to the other leg 
with handkerchiefs or strips of muslin ; when an arm, it can be 
supported against the body by the same means. 

Care of wounds : approximate the edges as closely and neatly 
as possible, and bind them so that union can take place. If the 
blood spurts out in regular jets, and cannot be staunched by closing 
or covering the wound, find some place in the limb, between the 
wound and the body, where the pulse can be felt, and if a place is 
found where pressure stops or diminishes the bleeding, keep up a 
steady pressure till the physician arrives. 

Emetics are always of use in cases of poisoning, where the 
poison has been taken by the mouth into the stomach. Such emetics 
as ground mustard, common salt, and warm water, can always be 
procured. To produce emesis : mix a tablespoonful of mustard in 
a tumbler of water; give one-quartei? of it at a draught, and follow 
with a glass of tepid water ; repeat in a minute or two, and continue 
till vomiting ensues. Or, put as much salt in a teacup of warm 
water as will dissolve, and administer every minute or two, till 
vomiting takes place. There are other emetics, but they would best 
be administered only under the instruction and advice of a physician. 

Poisoning by mushrooms : empty the stomach by emetics and give 
a cathartic, such as castor oil, to hasten the discharge from the bowels 
of what has already passed the stomach. If much prostration occurs, 
give some stimulant, such as aromatic spirits of ammonia or brandy. 

Ammonia poisoning: give at once, vinegar, lemon-juice, lime- 
water or soda. Follow by emetics. 

Aqua fortis and oil of vitriol : give soda, lime-water or soap. 
Emetics to follow. 

For arsenic poisoning, the handiest remedies that do not require 
special preparation and the presence of a physician, are calcined 
magnesia or powdered charcoal, and emetics. 

Corrosive sublimate (a common bedbug poison) : give at once, 
white of eggs, milk, flour and water ; afterwards emetics. 



THE SICK-ROOM. 247 

For lunar caustic, which has been taken into the stomach either in 
soHd or solution : give liberally of common table salt, and then emetics. 

For laudanum or any form of opium, which has been taken in 
poisonous doses : empty the stomach as soon as possible by emetic ; 
the physician will use the stomach pump if emetics do not succeed ; 
give strong coffee and stimulants ; keep up constant muscular 
activity ; keep moving ; do not allow to sleep ; dash cold water on 
the naked body ; whip the body with towels ; use artificial respiration 
or do anything to keep up circulation. 

Oxalic acid is often taken by mistake, from its strong resemblance 
to epsom salts. To counteract its poisonous effect take any form of 
lime ; lime-water, chalk or powdered whitewash. Follow by emetics. 

Strychnia is very rapid in its action, when taken in poisonous 
dose, and though not so prompt to kill as prussic acid, there is 
usually little to be done that is availing. Empty the stomach ; use 
friction to the skin and artificial breathing. 

Snake bites. The bites of many of the varieties of snakes 
produce painful and irritating sores, without being absolutely poi- 
sonous. Bites of the venomous varieties of snakes — the copperhead, 
adder and rattlesnake are the most commonly met with in this 
climate, although in the tropics there are many others — must be 
promptly dealt with. Stimulation seems to be the only known 
physiological antidote ; therefore, as soon as possible after a bite 
is received from a venomous snake, administer liberal quantities 
of brandy, whisky or even alcohol, and suck the wound thoroughly. 
Apply the mouth to the wound. It can be done with perfect safety, 
unless there are sores upon the lips or tongue ; for though the virus 
be swallowed, it does not exercise the same poisonous effects, when 
taken into the blood through the stomach, as when absorbed directly 
from the wound into the blood. Suck the wound thoroughly, and 
if it has been recently inflicted, all poison and danger may be 
immediately eliminated. Continue the administration of alcoholic 
stimulants as long as it is safe to do so, or till the effect of the poison 
is overcome or becomes fatal. The bite is to be treated as a simple 
wound. It may be well to treat all snake bites to a good sucking, 
but reserve the alcoholic stimulation until the variety of the snake is 
known or very strongly suspected to be venomous. 

The bites of dogs may also be sucked to prevent the absorption 
of possible virus into the blood, but when the dog that bites is known 
to be rabid, the person bitten must immediately consult a physician. 



CHAPTER IX. 



THE EMERGENCY-BOX. 



N connection with emergencies, perhaps it would 
be well to speak of that arrangement so highly 
necessary in every house — ''an emergency- 
box." 

At all times, "in the very best regulated 
families," most unforeseen and startling com- 
plications of difficulties are apt to occur, and 
to be able to meet these promptly and systematically, 
with as little confusion as possible, is half the battle. 
Having things all ready for such occasions insures 
promptness of action. There seems to exist in some 
minds a kind of superstition that to prepare for disease 
is to i7ivite it. I remember one family where, as soon 
as the father would broach the subject of having his life 
insured, the whole tribe would set up a wail of "O, 
father!" and burst into floods of tears. This is not 
affection, nor even sentiment; it is affectation and sen- 
timentality, and sentimentality of a very "sickly" nature at that. "In 
time of peace prepare for war" is a good old adage (one of the few 
that are practical — most of them are arrant frauds). 

"How can you go around so composedly when your children 
are so ill?" was asked of a mother, once upon a time. "I should be 
so nervous I should not be of any use at all. It is always such a 
shock to me. I am very sensitive." The implied rebuke to the less 
"sensitive" woman was uncalled for. So sensitive was she — so 
keenly alive to the necessities of the case — that she did not dare to 
let loose her hold on herself. But she gave no sign that she noted 
the tenor of the remark. She merely replied : "When there is any 
illness in the family, I at once think out the very worst that can 
happen from that particular form of disease. Then I make up my 




THE SICK-ROOM. 249 

mind what I shall do //"such and such emergencies arise. Then I am 
prepared if they come, and thankful if they do not. But nothing can 
take me absolutely by surprise, unless it be a miraculous recovery 
from what has promised to be a tedious or dangerous illness. There 
is no reason, nor economy of nervous force, in putting away from you 
the gravest possibilities. When an emergency comes to me, instead 
of spending my time in thinking what I ought to do, I can spend 
it in doing. While I was deliberating, my loved ones might be lost, 
and my life be one long regret, that I had not been prepared to be 
more prompt." 

Admitting, then, that emergencies do occur — that croup, and 
toothache and earache do come suddenly and unawares — in the 
middle of the night, perhaps ; that John cuts his finger off, and Mary 
sprains her ankle, and all in the most highly unexpected manner, it 
is proper that there should be remedies at hand to meet these in the 
most prompt manner possible. For this is our ''emergency-box" 
needed. Its proportions may be increased to a ''shelf," if the mother 
have room, but a box at least ; and if it be a shelf, a box of the more 
necessary articles should be made, so that they may all be picked up 
at once, and carried to where the patient is, without going backward 
and forward a half-dozen times. 

Now for the box. In it should be, first, neat rolls of bandage. 
By this I do not mean mere strips of muslin, which the physician 
must pause in his manipulation to tear and roll into a compact and 
suitable form before he can proceed. A bandage, to be of imme- 
diate service, should be about two yards long, and from two to three 
inches wide. It would be well, perhaps, to have rolls of two widths, 
two and a half inches and three inches respectively. Tear off strips 
the required width and length, from soft, but still firm, muslin. Turn 
one end in the fingers till it is a tiny roll. Lay this strip, down on 
the knee, and roll under the palm of the right hand towards the knee, 
keeping the unrolled musliii smooth and tight, meanwhile, with the 
left hand. This performance can best be accomplished while the 
worker is sitting down, and when deftly done, forms a compact, firm 
roll, ready for the physician's hands, and with which his work can be 
accomplished with dispatch. Pin the ends, so that they may not 
become loose, and your neatly rolled bandage, useless. 

Next to your bandages, and as an accessory for the same class 
of emergencies, a paper of good pins. Do not annoy your patient, 
nor insult your physician, by keeping them waiting, while you hunt 



250 QUEEN OF HOME. 

your dress over (or perhaps the floor), to give him, perhaps, at last, 
a crooked or pointless pin. Likewise, there should be a spool 
of strong, though fine, linen thread, and needles. He may find it 
preferable to sew on the bandage, instead of pinning it. 

Next, a soft sponge, to sponge away any extraneous matter that 
may nave collected, especially if it be a cut occasioned by a fall ; as 
sand and dirt of various kinds are very apt to find lodgment in such 
a wound. But the sponge should be thoroughly cleansed and puri- 
fied after each using, and unless the mother is willing to take the 
time, trouble and proper care to do all this, soft rags are preferable, 
as they can be burned up at once. 

Next, plenty of soft rags — old sheets, old underwear, soft cloths 
(no, rags is a better word, for until they become "rags" they are 
not in their most useful condition) of all kinds. 

Next, some fine needles and some very fine white silk. What 
for? For sewing up cuts in the children's fingers. "Oh," you groan, 
* ' I never could do that. It makes me sick. ' ' The process is ver}^ simple. 
To be sure, it is not scientific, but it is certainly very comfortable 
when done, and serves an excellent purpose, though not accom- 
plished in a highly surgical manner. The pain in a cut does not 
arise from the cut itself ; the edges of that are partially paralyzed 
by the bruise produced by contact with the sharp object. What 
hurts is the strain and stretching of the uncut flesh at the bottom 
of the wound. Therefore we put on a plaster to hold the lips of the 
wound together. But very often the very putting on of the plaster 
is the worst thing we can do. It may not agree with the flesh of that 
particular person, and suppuration may set in. The opening being 
entirely covered, there is not vent, and inflammation ensues, often 
entailing serious difficulty. If, however, the cut finger is first soaked 
in very hot water, both to cleanse it and reduce any inflammation 
or hemorrhage, and then sewed up, the pain is reduced to a minimum, 
and recovery is very prompt, for the tw^o edges being brought close, 
unite very soon. Very little pain is caused by the sewing. A fine 
needle, number ten or twelve, should be used. Catch up the mere skin 
each side of the cut, some distance, say one-eighth of an inch, back 
from the wound, and lace across as you would a shoe, returning to 
the point from which you started. Having left an inch or two of silk 
when you began, you have only to tie the two ends together, gently 
and tenderly, but firmly, exhibiting no haste, as an unguarded move- 
ment might undo your w^ork. 



THE SICK-ROOM. 251 

Next in order comes a box of some simple emolient, like vaseline 
or cosmoline, and that very best of all things for chapped hands, 
lanoline. This is a preparation of the oil extracted from sheep or 
lambs' wool. Do not let the little tots suffer from cracked or chapped 
hands and knuckles, when this emolient, well rubbed in, after a 
thorough washing, will cure them. 

Next, a few ounces of kerosene for chilblains. The feet should 
be soaked in water, as hot as it can be borne, for about twenty 
minutes, adding hotter water during that period, until the feet are 
almost scalded. Then rub in the kerosene thoroughly. Do this 
every night for a week (or oftener, if the itching and burning sets 
in), and the recovery will be complete in ordinary cases. Of course, 
a fresh frosting will entail the necessity of fresh treatment. 

If you belong to any of the new schools, you will, of course, 
have your own remedies for small illnesses. But if you are a 
member of the regular school, you want to add spices and mustard for 
plasters, with a bottle of syrup to mix a certain kind with. Also a 
hop bag. Likewise a bottle of ammonia, for fainting spells or 
sudden disturbance of the action of the heart. Also, any one of the 
thousand "infallible remedies" for croup; but of which, none is 
better than alum and molasses, given in quantities of as much 
alum as will go on a three-cent piece, mixed with a teaspoonful 
of molasses. This will produce vomiting, and will break the spell in 
ordinary cases. 

In short, the best way would be, some fine day when you have 
a little leisure, to think out all that you would need, according to 
your own school, for cuts, bruises, burns, scalds or sprains, and 
collect them in a box in case an emergency should arise. 





HOME AMUSEMENTS. 



CHAPTER I. 



THE MISSION OF FANCY-WORK. 



HE question of home amusements is one of 
much more serious import than is presented 
upon the surface. There are amusements and 
amusements, and parents should select for their 
children their amusements, just as carefully as 
they select their food, clothing or studies ; for, 
as before said, as the child's amusements are, 
so will the child herself be. Children are more 
easily led than is at first sight imagined, and a judi- 
cious parent can create an interest in some pursuit 
that would otherwise have been utterly distasteful. 
There is so much to learn, and so much that is inter- 
esting and amusing in the process of learning, that it 
seems a pity not to cultivate in children an interest in 
solid amusements. Indeed, so closely are the subjects 
of home training and home amusements connected, 
that it seems almost useless to try to separate them. 
When it is possible, amusement, usefulness and instruction should be 
combined. Lest I should be accused of disapproval of a "good 
time," let me give one or two illustrations. Your little boy, we will 
say, for example, rejoices in a pair of "snub-nosed scissors," and 




254 QUEEN OF HOME. 

loves to sit on the floor and surround himself with clippings of paper, 
until he is almost buried in them. Excellent ! There could not be 
a better amusement provided for him. It is clean and safe, and if 
he has been judiciously set upon a large cloth or drugget before he 
began, you have the delightful consciousness that, no matter what 
amount of clippings he has made, the moment he is done you have 
but to gather up the cloth by its four corners, empty the cHppings 
into the fire or some receptacle for the purpose, and lo ! the room is 
as undisturbed in its order as before he began. Well and good ! 
The boy is amused for two or three hours, perhaps, and peace reigns. 
But why not say to him, "See, little Paul ! Do you see these straight 
black lines all up and down the newspaper ? Now see how many 
straight strips Mama's little man can cut for her. We will lay them 
aside and show Papa when he comes home, that Paul cut all those 
strips himself, nice and straight." Or, in the same way, teach him to 
fold his paper in four, and cut a circle or a square, telling him that, 
when he has learned to do them nicely, you will give him some 
different paper, and he can make some for you to lay away, to be 
used some time in covering your preserves. The boy's ambition is 
fired, and a desire to excel is created ; at the same time his eye and 
hand are being unconsciously cultivated, and the day when one of his 
"very own" papers graces the top of one of your preserve jars, 
finds him a proud, happy little mortal. He has been of use — he has 
been a producer — and he can see the result of his work. And the 
simple cutting of a few papers has, perhaps, been to him one of the 
most useful lessons of his life. 

Again, your little girl wants to knit. Certainly, let her knit, but 
give her some object in learning. Let her imagine she is making 
something, if it be only a garter, with the hope that, some day in the 
near future, she may be able to successfully construct a hood for 
dolly. To simply knit, knit, knit, a long string, without any prospect 
of immediate result, is so very purposeless that the brain of a child 
soon wearies, and the effort to learn is abandoned, and the child has 
imbibed one more lesson of instability. 

I would strongly urge upon mothers the value of teaching their 
little ones all the arts of "fancy-work" that lie within their grasp, for 
it has a decided mission in women's lives. Some, doubtless, think 
that there is no such thing — that so-called "fancy-work" is placed 
upon a too elevated plane when one attributes to it anything so 
exalted as a "mission." 



HOME AMUSEMENTS. 



255 



Certainly it can be carried to excess, and then its mission is 
ended. But the stronger minded sisters, the ones who look upon 
all fancy-work as the refuge of weak brains, cannot for one moment 
imagine what an element of beauty, what delightful possibilities the 
much despised ''fancy-work" brings into some lives, even though the 
work be of the commonest and coarsest kind. It is hard for the 
more aesthetic to comprehend a life so barren of all but drudgery, 




that the piecing of a calico bed-spread, in some cherished design, is 
the only element of beauty that ever enters it. And who shall say 
that that which adds an innocent pleasure to a barren life, has no 
mission? "But why not make something- which is really beautiful 
in itself?" 

In what does beauty really consist, let us ask. Surely it consists 
in that which pleases the eye of the beholder, and if the eye be no 



256 QUEEN OF HOME. 

further cultivated, if the brain be capable of no pleasure in no more 
really artistic work, does not the despised bed-quilt carry into that 
barren life an element of pleasure that should be nurtured ? Who 
shall say that the thoughts flitting through the brain of the worker as 
the lovely work grows under her hand from moment to moment, may 
not be as elevating as those of the woman who does her ''resting" 
with her hands lying idle in her lap, triumphantly announcing the fact 
that she ''knows nothing of fancy-work." 

In after life, when the sight is dim and the hearing dull, and 
everything is seen in the light of the setting sun — when active work 
is over, and the busy hands are only waiting for the touch that shall 
still them forever, the ability to make the pretty, dainty trifles with 
which the younger queens adorn their homes, adds brightness to the 
life that now has but few enjoyments, and cheers many a weary day ; 
and the dear old lady blesses the time when her mother taught her 
to knit and crochet, in her childhood. There is no object to be 
imagined, more forlorn than an old lady who, from impaired (or, 
perhaps, totally lost) sight, is unable to occupy herself with any 
of the many arts which require vision, and who, at the same time, 
from want of a little knowledge, possesses none of the dexterity 
of finger known to so many women. 

And I would strongly urge, too, the necessity of fancy-work for 
boys as well. 

"Fancy-work for boys!" sniffs a disgusted mother. "Fancy- 
work for boys!" growls an irate father. "Is my son to take his 
crazy-work when he goes out to tea, and sit around and stitch, stitch, 
stitch, like all the rest of the lunatics ! Ugh !" 

Well, no, my dear sir, I hardly meant for him to take his 
patch-work when he went out to tea. Perhaps, under such circum- 
stances, he would look better sitting back, twirling his incipient 
moustache, while the "lunatics" you speak of so disrespectfully, 
attend to the femininities of the occasion. But I mean at other 
times; iox '' home wear'' 2J^ it were. You certainly must be aware 
that boys of a certain age, or between certain ages, are as a general 
thing, voted as nuisances; and it is my private opinion, publicly 
expressed, that it is because they have nothing to do in the house. 

"Let them read." 

Well, yes, that is an admirable employment. But then, when 
they tire of reading, what then ? Now suppose, for instance, there 
is published a really good, interesting work, is not there something 



HOME AMUSEMENTS. 257 

cosy in collecting the family round the table and reading aloud ? 
Mother takes her knitting and Mary takes her darning, and Nellie 
sews or crochets, and Jennie reads, while Ned — teases his sisters, 
"Satan finds some mischief still," etc., you know. 

"Let him do the reading?" 

Yes, I heartily approve of that ; but suppose, just for the sake 
of argument, that you have two or three Neds (there are in some 
families, you know). You would not buy three or four copies of this 
interesting work and have them read in concert, would you, just for 
the sake of having them employed ? 

No ! I do believe that a boy is much better for home employment. 
He ought to have something to do besides lying on the floor kicking 
up his heels, when all the girls and women round him are employed, 
and a little bit of "girl's work" will not hurt him one bit. For 
instance, I know boys who keep the family shoes supplied with 
buttons. To be sure, they are put on with clamps, but it would be 
no disgrace to him if they were sewed on with a bona fide needle. 
Why, quantities of the buttons are sewed on new shoes by men ; why 
not on old shoes by boys ? Then, too, it would not hurt your boy, 
some rainy day, or some day when he is not well enough to go out, 
and yet is not sick enough to be in bed, to run the sewing machine, 
and sew up some of those long, tiresome seams for sister Mary. I 
have not the least doubt that he will be rewarded with an extra lump 
of sugar in his tea, or a superfine polish on his Sunday collar. For 
women are grateful creatures by nature, and highly appreciate any 
little unexpected help from the "men folks," even if those same men 
folks be but boys. 

I know one youth of eighteen whose mother bought a sewing 
machine, and that young man hemmed a set of sheets, and quantities 
of tablecloths and napkins, just to amuse himself. He was pleased 
with the mechanism of the sewing machine. 

"O, but he did not have to ; he only did it to please himself." 

And pray, may I ask, is it any more disgraceful to do something 
to please and help someone else, than it is to do that same thing to 
amuse one'self ? And I know of one man, aye, and a true man, who 
has learned — now I am almost afraid to tell this, for fear of shocking 
some strong-minded man — but he has really learned to knit. He 
was threatened with cataract, and rather than have nothing to do but 
sit still and hold his hands, and bewail his fate, making all round him 
miserable, he learned to knit — knitting being an occupation that 
17 



258 QUEEN OF HOME. 

requires but little sight. And, to my certain knowledge, he has knit, 
during the last two years, nine beautiful petticoats, which he has 
bestowed on his various sisters and nieces. Is he any the less a 
man ? Not one whit ! Instead of repining at his fate, he has simply 
accepted the inevitable, and instead of doing nothing, resignedly does 
his best to make up for his loss. 

Old men who are delicate, grow far more fretful and hard to 
deal with, than old women in the same condition of health, as a 
general thing, and it is just because they have no way of interesting 
themselves about the house, and they grow tired of doing nothing ; 
only they do not for a moment suspect it is that, and they do not call 
it that. They think they feel so bad because nobody ever felt quite 
so miserable as they do. Indeed, they are miserable and much to 
be pitied. 

"But I do not care for your stories about old men that knit 
petticoats ; I want my boy to be a man ; I do not want him to learn 
to sew." 

Some of these days, when that same son shall have grown to be 
a famous surgeon, you will be proud, yes, proud, to have people tell 
you how successful he has been in some dehcate operation, and how 
deftly he has set the stitches with his silver wire. 

But then, supposing by way of hypothesis, that it is all wrong 
for boys to learn to sew (this is merely for argument's sake, you 
understand), is there nothing else he can have to do? Give him a 
scroll saw ; give him a microscope, and teach him how to mount his 
own specimens ; give him cardboard, and teach him to make castles 
and fortresses, and a thousand and one other interesting things ; give 
him a penknife and wood, and teach him to make and rig vessels (but 
be sure to tell him that his sisters, not he, must hem the sails), or let 
him make jack-straws — an excellent occupation, as inculcating deft- 
ness and neatness, while calling on the ingenuity ; give him, oh give 
him anything else you please, but do give him employment in the 
house. 




CHAPTER II. 



PETS FLOWERS MUSIC. 



OR training children to amuse themselves in 
such a manner as shall ultimately lead them 
to education, there is nothing of such absorb- 
ing interest, perhaps, to one in whom this 
particular study has any interest whatever, as 
the wonders of nature, especially as evidenced 
in animal life; and even a cheap and inferior 
microscope will give such pleasure as the 
uninterested can little imagine. By its aid the most 
insignificant dwellers on the terrestrial sphere become 
invested with a dignity. And many are the lessons 
of industry and thrift that may be gained by a careful 
study of the lower orders of animals. I can well 
remember, as a child, suddenly discovering that ants 
did not roam aimlessly over the ground, but that each 
had a definite object in view. One particular ant hill I guarded for 
inspection, and seldom have I enjoyed in after life, greater delight 
than that I experienced in childhood, in watching the motions of the 
little band. One day, to my surprise, there was a grand commotion 
in the camp. Finally, one ant backed out of the entrance to the hill. 
He was dragging out the dead body of a comrade. Another 
member of the community, was pushing the body from below. When 
they had safely deposited their burden, a procession was formed, 
headed by four, who carried the body, and they started off It has 
always been a matter of regret to me that I was called away before 
I discovered where they went to, or how they disposed of their 
deceased brother. 

The study of that ant hill afforded one child a pure, true, 
intellectual, educational amusement, as long as it was undisturbed ; 
but the rain spoiled it one day, and the little animals which I had 




2 6o 



QUEEN OF HOME. 




SPEAK!" 



HOME AMUSEMENTS. 



261 




watched with such absorbing interest, 
and had fed daily with crumbs, were 
dispersed. From no amount of toys 
could I have reaped the same amount 
of beneficial pleasure. 

One gentleman, of whom I read 
recently, Sir John Lubbock, had con- 
structed a tray which he filled with soft 
earth. A colony of ants was placed in 
this, and the whole arrangement was 
covered with a glass case, through which 
all the motions of the inhabitants could 
be watched. This arrangement was 
placed in a receptacle in which there 
was water, to prevent their roaming 
away. It was darkened by thin boards, 
which were removed for a short time 
when he wished to note the work they 
had accomplished. A strange kind of 
pet perhaps, but one which afforded 
the owner infinite delight. 

Children seem to take special pleas- 



262 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



ure' when once introduced to the study, in watching the habits 
of insects in preference to those of larger animals, possibly because 
those of the larger animals, as known to children, are dependent in 
a great measure upon the human beings with whom their lot is cast. 
But bugs, beetles, butterflies, moths, in short anything which leads 
an independent life, affords an immense fund of solid pleasure. The 
more infinitesimal the creatui'-e, the more beautiful the work of the 
Creator — the more wonderful the instinct which actuates every well 
studied motion and preconceived action. Watching and feeding 
toads has often afforded the greatest delight to the little ones, who 
had. not before suspected that these rather despised animals were 
worthy of notice. Pets in the household are, likewise, a great means 

of education. In caring 
for them, children learn 
thought and care. They 
learn, also, much of com- 
parative anatomy, and of 
the habits of the particu- 
lar kind of animal in their 
possession. 

Nevertheless, the in- 
troduction of pets into the 
household should be 
a matter of much 
deliberation and 
consideration. 

Cats and kittens 
are admissible into 
any household where they are properly cared for and fed, and not 
abused in any way. But many children are permitted to own, as 
pets, animals to whom, by force of circumstances, they are unable 
to give the proper attention, or even comparatively natural sur- 
roundings. A boy in the city, for instance, owns a pet chicken, 
which he is, in all probability, obliged to keep in the cellar. Another 
boy owns a rabbit, which, for the want of a better place, he keeps in 
a little hutch, hardly large enough to allow the animal to stand up 
straight. The two animals grow lymphatic and dull-eyed, and finally 
die from passive cruelty, if one may use the term. In fact, no 
animal is suitable as a pet for a child, unless it can retain, in a 
measure, the freedom and habits of its independent life ; and there 




HOME AMUSEMENTS. 



263 




264 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



are but few pets, except cats and dogs, that should be given to 
children in the city. Even with the latter, there is often the utmost 
cruelty practiced, without any intention on the part of the owner. 
As an ordinary thing, there is no room in a city house for a large 
dog. He is, therefore, relegated to the yard, which, in its narrow, 
confined dimensions, is entirely inadequate to his needs. Further 
than that, lest he should spoil some of the precious plants, which it 
has been such a labor to raise, in the little half-sunned garden, and 
lest he should run away, and thus a valuable animal be lost, he is 
chained to his kennel, day after day, all day long. Doubtless he is 

well cared for, and well 
fed — perhaps is often 
caressed — but his God- 
given freedom is entirely 
destroyed, and life is a 
burden to him. 

In many houses there 
is a prejudice against 
cats, both on account of 
foolish superstitions and 
because the parents are 
afraid that their children 
may be scratched or bit- 
ten. A well treated cat 
will not turn upon its 
owner. The trouble is 
that children are permit- 
ted to treat cats with 
positive cruelty. The 
year-old infant is given 
the kitten to play with, as she would be given a rubber doll or a 
wooden horse. Suddenly there is a shriek, and Miss Baby is 
discovered with a scratch across her cheek, which has been given 
her by ''that nasty, treacherous cat." Had Mama looked a moment 
sooner, she would have seen the small princess, perhaps, grasping 
the tail of poor pussy with exceeding firmness with one hand, while, 
with the chubby forefinger of the other, she dexterously endeavored 
to remove the eyes of the long-sufTering little beast. What wonder 
that she should receive, in return, a scratch, and a pretty severe dig 
at that ? Cats are affectionate and wonderfully intelligent, if de- 




HOME AMUSEMENTS. 



265 



veloped. But they must be treated with ordinary decency, and on 
no account should even the youngest member of the household be 
permitted to abuse them in the slightest degree. 

Flowers and plants, too, are wonderful sources of amusement 
and education ; and when it is at all possible, the children should be 
encouraged in their cultivation and study. Who can express the 




delight of the little one who finds, for the first time, a ''real flower" 
on her "very own bush"— the plant she has tended and watched, 
and watered, till, perhaps, it was in danger of death from over-care. 
In the city, where ground is scarce, a well conducted window garden, 
which may, in summer time, be a mere box outside the window, will 
gratify the desire to ''make things grow." 



266 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



Anything of this kind, which may be obtained for the children at 
the expense of a Httle money, entirely commensurate with the means 
of the parents, or by trouble on the part of the parents themselves, 
should be obtained without fail. It should be regarded quite as 
much a part of their education as their geography or arithmetic, and 
much more so than their dancing lessons. It would be a gopd thing 
for the ''Queen" herself, too, if she would work out in the garden 
with the little princes and princesses. 
And she would find that the interest 
and pleasure to her children would be 
more than doubled, and Mama's arrival 
would be hailed with delight. 

Among the instincts implanted in 
the human breast there is none more 
divine than love of music. How soon 
the baby learns to listen with delight 
to the singing of her mother or nurse ! 
How soon she learns to make her ow^n 
little attempts at vocal melody! At 
an age which seems ab 
normally early, children 
detect the difference in 
tunes; which shows 
that the ear is far more 
sensitive to sounds than 
would be imagined. In 
two cases known to my- 
self, children six weeks 
of age were manifestly 
and visibly affected by 
musical sounds. The 
first, a boy, would be 
thrown into the depths of sadness by a minor, or even a mournful 
tune. His little frame would be shaken with sobbing breaths, while 
a pitiful wail would issue from his quivering little mouth. There 
were, likewise, certain notes which seemed to affect him in the 
same way. This same child, however, was so sensitive to music, 
that until he was eight years old it was impossible to take him to 
church, because the instant the music began he would burst into 
uncontrollable weeping. 




HOME AMUSEMENTS. 



267 




A SONG WITHOUT WORDS. 



268 QUEEN OF HOME. 

The second case was a little girl, who, though affected in as 
great a degree, was evidently delighted with musical sounds, no 
matter what their character. She would purse up her lips, and turn 
her head from side to side in ecstasy, meanwhile making a cooing 
sound. So great was her ecstasy that, while she smiled, the tears would 
come to her eyes. Of course, in such extreme cases as this the utmost 
care should be exercised, as the excitement is intense, and is very detri- 
mental to the child itself, as is all undue excitement. Neither of these 
children is remarkable at the present day, in the musical line. 

Music has a refining influence in the household, and is therefore 
a very important factor, but in many ways its importance is over- 
estimated. When it is regarded merely as an accomplishment, which 
must be acquired because others have learned whether there be any 
talent in the case or not, it entirely loses its usefulness, and becomes 
a burden and a useless outlay of money. The child who takes to 
music naturally, as does the little street musician — the child who 
learns music for the love of melody itself, and not because her little 
neighbor "can play a piece," and she herself does not wish to be 
outdone— //2(^/ is the child to receive a musical education. 

Thankful should we be that the day has gone by when there 
must be ''an instrument" in every house, and the daughters were 
expected to ''make night hideous," and their lives a burden, by their 
weary hours of practice. How much better had their time been 
employed in something which they could do well. In these days, 
there are open to growing girls so many other ways to dispose 
of their time, that really a young girl has but little excuse for not 
finding a congenial home amusement. 

Clay and putty modelling, painting, drawing, china-painting — 
all these things have attained a prominence highly satisfactory to the 
would-be student, as opening avenues in all directions for unde- 
veloped talent and unfilled hours. So, again I say, though music 
may be regarded as a refining accessory, do not oblige any child to 
undertake its study ; leave it for those who have, at least, capacity 
for its absorption, and its hard work, even if actual talent be wanting. 

Before closing this chapter, perhaps it would be as well to say 
a word as to the great advantage of stamp collecting as a pastime, 
especially if the young philatelist is led, at the same time, to inquire 
somewhat into the manners and customs of the countries issuing the 
stamps. . This pursuit has an added charm in the fact that a good 
collection is marketable at a high price. 



HOME AMUSEMENTS. 



269 




PLAINTIVE MELODIES. 



CHAPTER III. 



GAMES. 




UT life should not be all work-a-day, and there 
comes many a time when the mind refuses any- 
thing that is not amusement, pure and simple, 
and requires something into which no element 
of instruction shall enter. 

For these times there are provided thousands 
of games that may be bought at a merely 
nominal cost, to say nothing of thousands more 
which require no outlay of money at all. 

First, let us take into consideration the very 
little things that it takes to amuse the very little ones. 
The pleasant little games of "guessing," that Mama can 
invent for the babies, are unlimited in number, and the 
children learn to hail with glee the hour when, in the 
twilight, the nursery lighted only by the glow of the fire. 
Mama sits with them and they "guess" each others 
thoughts. The old, old-fashioned game, "What is my 
thought like?" will never die, though it is presented in 
many new forms. 

" Guess what I am thinking of. Baby," says Mama, 
as they sit together by the open fire. 
Then Baby turns her small brain to work, and by dint of many 
very profound questions, discovers that the "thought" has two ears 
and a tail, eats milk, and sometimes scratches, and fi.nally announces, 
with a triumphant shout, "It is Tabby! It is Tabby!" and off she 
goes to bed, delighted with her own sagacity, and the better for the 
little game. 

For the older ones we have quantities of more advanced 
"thought games," involving questions of history, geography, arith- 
metic, etc., but none the less interesting because they call in the aid 
of lessons learned at school. 



HOME AMUSEMENTS. 



71 



Next in order we have the games which require a lead pencil 
and a blank paper. The variety of these is infinite, and it would be 
impossible to enumerate them all, but, perhaps, it will be possible 




to give some hints that will enable the ingenious to invent more. 

Beginning with the very little ones again, good, old-fashioned 
*' Tit-tat- to " and ''Fox and Geese," come to the fore. They amuse 



272 ' QUEEN OF HOME. 

the children now just the same as they did fifty years ago. Like 
the "Thought Games," they never lose their freshness. 

Two very amusing games for the older ones (and those with 
which adults likewise have been amused) consist in drawing animals. 

The first game is to close the eyes and draw a pig. Very few 
people have any talent in the way of animal drawing, and many of 
the attempts are very funny, indeed. The picture goes on pretty 
well, perhaps, at the hands of the blinded artist, so long as the 
pencil is not removed. But directly comes the moment when the 
pig's tail is to be placed, and if one might judge by the amount 
of absorbtion exhibited on the faces of the watchers, and the 
anxiety displayed on that of the artist, it must, indeed, be a moment 
of supreme interest. Presently shouts of laughter go up from those 
who have been waiting, almost breathless, till the drawer shall decide. 
Having taken up his hand, he has completely lost his bearing, and 
after a moment or two of uncertainty, he has made a dash and has 
added the appendage, quite certain that he is not far wrong, only to 
discover, when vision is restored, that his pig has a beautiful curly 
tail sprouting out between his ears. 

The second game consists of sectional drawing of animals. A, 
B and C we will imagine are to be engaged in this. A draws the 
head of some animal. Having carefully turned down the paper so 
as to leave exposed only just sufficient to add the body, he hands it 
over to B. B attaches a body, and going through the same process, 
hands it to C, who completes the picture, by adding the legs and 
feet. Some of these are very droll. Of course neither player has 
any idea of the portion drawn by the other; thus we may have a 
man's head, a bird's body, and the feet of a cat. 

Analogous to this, but requiring more intellectual handling, is 
''Thread and Needle Poetry," and some of this is as comical and 
ridiculous in its way as are the animals. The first player writes a line, 
telling her next neighbor only the final word and the number of 
syllables. The second player adds a line (the first line being 
previously hidden, as w4th animals,) being careful to preserve the 
rhyme and metre. The third starts a new couplet, preserving the 
metre only, while the fourth must again rhyme with the third, pro- 
ceeding in this wise until all have added their contributions. The 
last one reads the whole ''poem," and very comical some of them 
are. What is most curious of all is that very many of these efforts 
make comparatively good sense. 



HOME AMUSEMENTS. 



/o 



Similar to this, again, is the game of "Consequences," and a 
great amusement is it to both old and young. Children soon learn 
the difference between a noun and a verb, if it is carefully explained 
to them. In this game each player must be provided with a slip of 
paper and a pencil. Upon these slips, each player writes first a 
name. Folding it down he passes it on, having meanwhile, himself, 
received that of his neighbor on the other side. Then a verb is 
written and the slips are again passed round as before. Again, a noun, 
and again the slips passed. Then they must each write what he 
said — then what she said. After that what the world said, and finally 
"the consequences." When they are read aloud, as consecutive sen- 
tences, some of them are droll enough. 

Let the children have plenty of bought games, too, as a fund 
to draw upon, if you can afford it, or if not, show them how to make 
for themselves, when they can, such games as are played by those 
who have more money. It is very awkward for a growing girl or 
boy to be absolutely ignorant of all such things, simply because 
means were not at hand to purchase the necessary accessories. 

I presume that no checker-board and men ever did more duty 
than did those owned by a country boy of my own acquaintance. 
His board was a plain, square board, laid out by himself, and his 
men were sections of broom handle, sawed off into discs, about a 
half inch in thickness. The white ones were left au naturel, the black 
ones were colored with mk. Think you he could have done better 
with better men? Not a bit of it! While handsomer men would, 
perhaps, have been prized as a treasure, I will warrant that he 
extracted as much solid pleasure from those " self-made men " as if 
they were the most elaborately carved importation from China or 
Japan. 

Jack-straws, dominoes, chess, all such things should be within 
reach of the growing girls and boys. 

A boy may whittle out, in a little while, as part of his "fancy- 
work," a very pretty set of jack-straws from soft wood. A hoe, 
a rake, spoons, shovels, knives, swords ; in short, anything and every- 
thing is available, not forgetting plenty of the plain sticks. Or if 
the boy has no talent, or there be no boy at all, the little girls may 
have "lots of fun" playing jack-straws with ordinary paper lamp- 
lighters. Many a little girl, however, has quite a capacity for whit- 
tling, and it will do her no harm to permit her to exercise that, and 
her ingenuity at the same time, in producing wooden jack-straws. 

i8 



274 



QUEEN OF HOME. 




HOME AMUSEMENTS. 275 

Very often duty and pleasure can be combined in a way that 
adds much to the zest of both. Do you remember, in Mrs. Whit- 
ney's "A Summer in LesHe Goldthwaite's Life," Martha and her 
sister? That always seemed to me such a beautiful idea. These 
two girls were the hard-worked daughters of hard-working parents. 
One of the most beautiful times of their weekly tasks, was the day 
when the sfochn£'-d3irnmg came round. ''O," I hear from every 
corner, 'T don't believe anybody ever liked to darn stockings. I 
hate to read about paragons, myself." 

But wait ! T/ie^ disliked stocking-darning as much as you do, 
but their mother, wisely recognizing the needs of growing girls, and 
feeling glad that some beauty could creep into their lives in this way, 
made no objection when they took their stockings and their chess- 
board up where the soft murmur of the pines made music in their 
ears and soothed their worried minds. Here, in their nook, their men 
were placed on the board ; upon the left-hand was drawn the stock- 
ing ; in the right the needle and thimble were in place, and then work 
and play were ready. While they drew their threads back and 
forth, the moves were discussed. After much deliberation, a move 
was taken, and the men changed position. So it went on, with a 
pause now and then, but the work suffered little, and after two or 
three hours the girls would return to the house, the finished stockings 
neatly folded, and themselves refreshed, body, mind and soul. 

Mother could often, if she would only think so, play some game 
with her daughter or son, even while attending to some of the 
weightier matters of the household, and her own labors would be 
lightened by the refreshment, while her child would be brought 
nearer to the parent, who could be amused with a trifle like a game. 
Do not say, 'T can't learn games, I never could!" Try to do so. 
It is your duty to try to enter into their pleasures, as well as their 
afflictions, and you will be well repaid for your efforts. 




CHAPTER IV. 



AMUSEMENTS IN THE COUNTRY. 




EGRETS, of course, are useless, but what a 
pity it does seem to be that all children could 
not live in the country, for at least the first ten 
years of their lives. Such delightful possi- 
bilities of fresh air, wholesome exercise, blood- 
stirring, pure entertainment and amusements ! 
Where can such charming sand heaps be found ? 
Even the children, who have a taste of freedom 
for awhile, running wild at the sea-shore, know nothing 
of the beauties of "real country sand" and the delights 
of real mud pies. The sea-shore is, of course, a charming 
place to go to, and the change of air and scene are doubtless 
very beneficial to the little ones, but, ordinarily, the trip 
is expensive, and so the mother can only keep her little 
brood there for a short time. How much better it would 
be if she could make arrangements to take them to some 
quiet country place and give them all the delights of a 
free life, entirely separated from the excitement and 
contaminations of watering-places. 
Take them into the country, dress them suitably, and turn them 
loose. When Fall comes they will be invigorated and much better 
able to stand the strain of school, and better able also to resist the 
attacks of epidemic disease. 

''Dress them suitably" I say, and that I mean. I do not mean 
merely with plainness. Let them have such for special occasions that 
neither you nor they will be obliged to give a thought to their clothes. 
I call to mind two little folks who had what was called their "sand- 
pile suits." The girl's consisted of a little brown calico slip, and the 
boy's, of pantaloons buttoned on to a jacket or shirt, both of the 
same material as the little girl's slip. Rigged out in this garb, their 



HOME AMUSEMENTS. 



277 




FUN BY THE SEA. 



278 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



heads crowned with broad-brimmed hats, they were ready for any 
emergency. It was distinctly understood that after they started out 
with their Httle buckets, wagons, spades and dolls (made especially 
for this purpose) that no one was to feel distressed about the dirt 
they were accumulating, or to make a single remark upon their 
appearance, upon their return, no matter what they looked like. A 




happy, dirty little pair they were, I can assure you, when they trudged 
back, but it was a matter of a very few moments to empty the sand 
from their shoes, change their clothes and wash out the soiled ones, 
against another morning spent in the same way. Where can such 
beautiful swings be put up? Where are such charming trees to 
climb ? A boy can go to the gymnasium in the city and learn to 



HOME AMUSEMENTS. 



279 




GOOD TIMES. 



8o 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



climb, but that is nothing to compare to the deUghts of climbing a 
''real tree." And the barn ! The mow full of the soft, fragrant hay ! 
Where could a more harmless place be found for the little ones ? 
The daily raid on Biddy's precincts, too ! What excitement, what 
shouts of glee, when a stolen nest is discovered which Biddy has 
hidden carefully away, hoping to convert the treasures into a little 
yellow downy brood before she is discovered ! 

Country chil- 
dren, as a rule, 
have but few 
toys, and their in- 
genuity is much 
developed in this 
line. They must 
amuse them- 
selves with what 
they can find, and 
1 e t imagination 
do the rest. Who 
does not remem- 
ber the delightful 
trips that have 
been taken in the old disused 
wagon, with a barrel for a 
horse ? The charming horse- 
back rides that have been 
taken on this same long-suffer- 
ing steed? 

In the country there is so 
much room that children can 
be allowed to keep up their 
daily illusions. They can have 
a corner for the stabling of 

their horse, and it does not become necessary to put him away in 
the cellar or some unnatural place. It destroys half the fun if they 
cannot go through the whole performance, and must each day begin 
to ''make believe over again," instead of starting out where they 
left off. To be a success, however, as a saddle horse, he should 
have six legs — the middle two being about an inch and a half 
longer than the other four. He will then develop a most beautiful 




HOME AMUSEMENTS. 281 

cante7\ Or, if you prefer a nondescript kind of pace, make all 
four of his legs of different lengths. When a discarded feather 
duster, or even a bunch of long rags has been added for a tail, you 
have a charger whose charms cannot be surpassed. 

And, perhaps, at the foot of the hill there runs a little stream. 
Here is another source of amusement, instruction and education, about 
which the city boy knows nothing. If the boy be inclined to history, 
how often does Washington cross the Delaware, or Leander swim 
the Hellespont? If he be inventive, what avenues are open for the 
invention of water-wheels and bridges ? Many a boy has received 
his first ideas of mechanics from the "Books in the running brooks." 
However, it is well to address a word of caution to the city mother, 
who takes her children to the country for the summer. She is very 
apt, some day, to attain an idea that, being "In Rome she must do 
as Rome," and she turns her children loose, to do exactly as the 
country children do. But she should reflect that her little ones have not 
been reared from infancy to this kind of life, and their systems are 
hardly prepared for a sudden change in their surroundings, occupa- 
tions and diet. They have been bred in the artificial atmosphere 
of city life, and the country life, as country-bred children live it, is too 
strong for them, as it were, much as a sudden change to a diet of meat 
would be for a person who had always lived exclusively on cereals. 

It is necessary, therefore, that the mother keep careful watch over 
her children until they become inured to the new life. She must not 
imagine, because those who are accustomed to it can do so with impu- 
nity, that her children can go barefoot, or with damp shoes and stock- 
ings ; be out in the hot sun and morning dews ; can wade, or swim, or 
eat, in defiance of the laws which have heretofore regulated their lives. 

Every change should be approached with caution, and one liberty 
after another granted, as the child seems strengthened for it. 

Many a village or country-seat has earned a condemnatory 
reputation on account of the folly of the city visitors. They commit 
all sorts of indiscretions in the way of diet and exposure (many of 
which would be hard upon country people themselves), without having 
the hard work and exercise to counteract the effect. So, by the 
time Autumn arrives, what with exposure, over-eating, and too much 
exercise in some directions — tennis, or croquet, or archery, for 
instance — and not enough in others, the Summer outing, which was 
to have proved so beneficial, has been only such as to predispose the 
constitution to some Autumn fever, which soon sets in, and lo ! the place 



282 



QUEEN OF HOME. 




'AIN'T IT FUN. 



HOME AMUSEMENTS. 



^83 



in which they have been staying for the Summer is stigmatized as a 
" malarial district." A physician has lately made the statement that 
in his estimation nine-tenths of the Autumn fevers arise, not so much 
from the ''malarial districts" as from the causes above mentioned, 
combined with the fact that the houses to which the victims return 
have been closed all 
Summer. The house 
should be thor- 
oughly ventilated 
before entering it 
in the Autumn, and 



^^^W ^<«^^^k..^^lH' \'^lM-J^" jL \.-i^ v\li: »l--^= 


^^^ ^U^y^r^rarq m 


^M ■ ,,,, 11 ^* Jj 




'^^^^^^^K^^^^^^^^^^^^maSs^Kt3^i 


W^W -^-_.;y^«^r^ 


^^m :^ ;.^^g^ 



a wise precaution 
would be two or 
three days of good 
strong fire in the 
heater, no matter 
how warm the 
weather is. 

The winter amuse- 
ments of the two 
classes of children 
are not so widely 
dissimilar as those 
of summer time, though their occupations outside of school hours 
must naturally differ much. While the city boy's chief labor is going 
errands for his mother, the country boy is assisting his father — 
helping water the stock, feeding the chickens, harnessing the 
horses, etc. The opportunities for snow-balling, skating, sledding, 
coasting, and all kindred amusements, are much greater in the city 
than would be imagined by the country boy. It is the city girl who 
suffers by the comparison in this case. The life of the girl in the 
city is much more restrained than that of one living in the country. 
The half-grown city girl does not, as an ordinary thing, coast, and sled, 
and slide, and skate, as does the country girl. Here are not to be found 
those artificial distinctions which hedge in the city-bred girl. A country 
girl is most times a ''girl," and not an incipient "young lady." 

I will conclude, by saying that a girl who has not been able, at 
some period in her childhood to spend a winter in the country, has a 
right to consider herself defrauded. She has missed one of the great 
delights of life, and a good opportunity for pure, wholesome fun. 



CHAPTER V. 




SOME HOME-MADE TOYS. 

AVING spoken in a general way of home- 
made toys, and mentioned one or two, such 
as the worn-out coffee mill for the baby's 
Indian meal, and the checker-board with its 
broom-handle men, I may add that there are 
many more things that may be made for the 
children, at a very little expense of time or 
money, and which serve them quite as well 
as more expensive toys. 

First in order, let us take the doll for the baby. 
This, of course, must be a rubber or rag doll. Per- 
sonally I object to rubber dolls, because there enter 
into the composition of the rubber itself such ingre- 
dients as are detrimental to the child. This is 
evidenced by greatly increased drooling after the child 
has had the rubber baby in her mouth, which, of course, 
is the case about one-fourth the time, as the first in- 
stinct of the human animal is to find the way to its mouth. As an 
ordinary rag doll is a cumbersome article — it being almost impossible 
to make a small one, on account of turning the seams and stuffing 
the body — mothers like to have, for the youngest child, a knit doll. 
These take considerable time in the preparation, as well as skill on 
the part of the knitter. Consequently, they are rather expensive 
when purchased at a toy store. But a mother can have a very nice 
knit doll, that will answer ever}^ purpose, with no expense of money, 
and very little of time. The process is as follows : roll up a piece 
of white stocking about two and a half inches long. This roll, when 
complete, should be about as thick as the thumb. This is the head 
and neck. Next, cut a pair of feet and legs — extending to the knee 
only — of black stocking goods. Stuff these with cotton, tight, all the 
way to the top. After this, cut a pair of knickerbockers from dark 



HOME AMUSEMENTS. 285 

blue stocking goods. Attach them to the legs in a seam, turn them 
up, and stuff with cotton wool, as the legs and feet were stuffed. 
Next, roll two smaller pieces of white stocking for hands. Then cut 
a'shirt-waist or jacket, of some other color — scarlet, for instance — 
sleeves and body in one piece. Attach the hands as the legs were 
attached, and stuff the sleeves. Then fasten the lower edge of the 
waist to the ^ waist line of the trousers, in a seam, and turn up, 
stuffing as before. Before it is entirely full, insert the rolled head 
sufficiently far for security. This will leave exposed just about 
enough for proportion. Draw the shirt-waist close around the neck, 
and finish off with a mite of embroidered ruffle. With black silk, add 
eyes, nose and mouth ; put a cap on, made of some scrap of blue or 
red stocking goods, and the doll is done. And a very useful young 
gentleman, too, you will find him. You will find that Miss Baby will 
not in any degree despise him on account of his ignoble origin, and 
she can chew him to her heart's content, without injuring either him 
or herself. A few moments in the sun will soon cure the effect 
of his bath, and he will resume his pristine beauty. 

For an older child, an ordinary button mould, with a match 
whittled down to proper size and inserted in the hole, will make a 
top that has whiled away many an hour. If three or four of these 
are given to a child, it affords him great amusement to see how 
many he can keep going at once. But they must be adjusted with 
nicety, being careful that the spindle is not too long. Otherwise 
the spinning will be very difficult, and the child will soon grow 
discouraged at the failure of his efforts to make the top "go." If 
these tops are covered with bright-colored paper, they look like little 
dancers dressed in gay clothes, and it affords much fun to note their 
gyrations — perhaps one will strike against another, knocking it 
completely over, while the aggressor goes gaily on her way, almost 
unharmed by the contact. 

Bean-bags are another home-made toy, which affords much fun 
as well as considerable exercise, if played where there is plenty 
of room. The only difficulty about this game is lack of room, and 
it often happens that a bag is thrown in such a manner as to destroy 
or break something. There are, however, one or two games of 
bean-bags which do not possess this disadvantage. First, we will 
speak of the bean-bags themselves. They should be made of canton 
flannel, in gay colors, and should be about five by seven inches in 
size. They should be filled about two-thirds full of beans ; some use 



286 QUEEN OF HOME. 

corn, but the sharp point at the germ end of a grain of corn soon 
wears holes in the bags. Two of these bags are ordinarily sold as a 
"set," but four are much better, as it gives room for greater variety 
of color, and makes the game pleasanter in many ways. Old gold, 
garnet, blue and gray make a very prett^^ combination. 

Having prepared the bags, the next thing is to prepare a board. 
This should be about three feet long by nine inches wide. It should 
be laid off into four divisions, by pencil line or paint. In the division 
next the end should be cut a square hole, large enough to permit of 
the bean-bag dropping through with comparative ease. The open end 
of this board is rested upon a chair (unless you choose to make a 
prop specially for it), the other end upon the floor. The game is to 
throw the bags so that they may light in one of these four sections, 
which count in numbers as follows — five, for the one near the floor ; 
ten for the next; twenty-five for the third one, if the bag is sent 
successfully through the hole, and fifteen for the last. 

The second game is played by the players dividing into two 
parties, each party striving to pass the bags from hand to hand more 
rapidly than their opponents, as they stand in opposing lines. This 
game, however, is hardly suitable for "home" play, as, to make it 
interesting, there should be a number engaged in it. 

Again, there is the scrap-book. I am almost afraid to look at 
any of my readers, for fear of the look of disgust I shall see there, 
at the very mention of such a time-worn amusement. But I do not 
mean the scrap-books you have made for your children ; I mean the 
ones that tkey shall make for themselves and for others. And, spite 
of the disdain in your countenances, ladies, I am going to give a hint 
or two on the preparation of the pictures. The scrap-book ttnmade 
is the to)\ and except for very little children, the occupants of the 
nursery should make it themselves. To have a really finished 
article when completed, the leaves of the book should consist of gay- 
colored muslin. The pictures should never be put in place on the same 
day as they are gummed. They should be gummed and laid away to 
dry. When they are to be placed, they only need dampening on the 
back with clear water, and thus all possibility of a single extra drop 
of glue exuding from the edges, to entirely spoil the appearance 
of the whole page, is out of the question. The children may also 
group the smaller single pictures together, and thus form "composite 
pictures" that are quite artistic in effect, if judgment and taste are 
used in their construction. 



HOME AMUSEMENTS. 287 

A kaleidoscope is another wonderful source of amusement, and 
is quite within the scope of home-manufacture. Two strips of 
window glass, one and a half inches in width by six in length; a 
few bits of gay-colored glass, and a bright bead or two ; two small, 
circular pieces of glass, and a piece of pasteboard, are all the 
materials necessary. First, roll your pasteboard the required size, 
and having glued it firmly together, lay it away to dry thoroughly. 
When complete, it should be a hollow cylinder about seven inches in 
length and two in diameter. When ready to work on, slip in the two 
pieces of window glass, down to within about a half inch of the end. 
Slip them in so that they will fit tightly, and form an angle. Then 
slip in one of the glass discs, after this the little pieces of gaily 
colored glass and beads, and on top of these the second glass disc, 
which has previously been covered with one layer of thinnest tissue 
paper, in order that it may resemble ground glass. Fasten all in 
place by a strip of paper neatly glued round the edge, and that end 
is complete. The other end only needs a disc of pasteboard in 
which has been previously cut a small, circular hole, about one-half 
inch in diameter. 

Another very easily made home-made toy is what was once 
called "Ship-coil," but which is now, in a little different form, called 
"Ring-toss." If played out of doors, a stake can be driven into the 
ground to catch the rings. If in the house, a hook can be driven 
into the nursery wall to receive them. The game is to throw the 
rings so that they will catch on the hook or fall over the stake. Nine 
is a good number of rings to have, and they should be made of good 
sized rope, fastened together with bright-colored braid or ribbons. 
The ends of the rope should lap about a finger length, and be firmly 
fastened before putting the ribbon on. Made in this way, the rings 
are easily put away when not in use, while ordinary "Ring-toss," of 
which the rings are wood and the stake fastened to a broad, heavy 
foundation, is quite cumbersome. It is always well to select such 
toys for the children as occupy but little room when not in use. 

"Squails" can also be made from heavy pieces of pasteboard or 
thin board. If these are not available, silver dollars are a very good 
substitute. In the centre of the table is placed a large button or a 
checker. Each player then takes a squail, lays it flat on the table, so 
that it projects about a half-inch, and strikes it sharply on the edge, 
with the palm of the hand, sending it quickly across the table. The 
player who is nearest the centre-piece, after all the turns have been 



288 



QUEEN OF HOME, 



taken, is the one who makes the count. Sometimes the squail strikes 
the centre-piece, and it is thus moved from its original position. But 
this makes no difference. It must not be replaced. The game must 
go on as before, and the players try to strike the centre-piece in its 
new position. 

As a final suggestion, I would recommend a "menagerie rug," 
for the baby. This should be made of double-faced canton flannel, 
if new goods are to be bought. But, if your stock will permit it, a 
half-worn blanket is the very nicest thing for the purpose. On this 
blanket should be applied, as a border, a row of animals of all kinds. 
These can be cut out of cloth of different colors, and applied with 
blue or red cotton. When complete. Miss Baby, as she sits in the 
centre, is warm and comfortable, as well as interested and amused 
by the animals and flowers, which she soon learns to recognize. 





SOCIAL RELATIONS, 



CHAPTER I. 



WHO IS MY NEIGHBOR r 




RDINARILY, when this query is put, it is to 
point some sermon on missions or, at least, 
charity in some form. But surely the Divine 
Teacher meant us to go more deeply into the 
subject than this ! Too few of us have that 
charity which, "like a cloak, covereth a multitude 
of sins." The true interpretation of that sen- 
tence was pointed out to me, once upon a time, in a 
never-to-be-forgotten sermon. The rector explained 
that many people, in fact, most people, he thought, 
interpreted it to mean that though possessed of "many 
sins," if a person were charitable, these sins were in a 
great measure nullified — covered, as with a cloak. But 
that, in his estimation, it should mean that charity, upon 
the part of the beholder, would hide from his own vision, 
the sins of those upon whom he looked. He considered 
this the fuller, deeper, sweeter meaning. "Charity" (on our part) 
"covereth a multitude of sins" (on the part of others). If we could 
only grasp this in its fullness, how simplified would become our 
"social relations." For though, of course, social forms and rules 
are necessary to the preservation of a harmonious whole, there is an 
underlying motive which is the root and. foundation of all true 
19 



290 QUEEN OF HOME. 

politeness. True politeness springs from a kindliness of heart. 
True politeness gives of itself, and mere manner can never take its 
place. There has never been a rule given which could exceed the 
''golden rule" for motive of action, no matter what the social 
occasion. Combine this with an ordinary knowledge of social forms, 
and a woman is equipped to enter any society, and is greeted with 
equal heartiness in all circles. Indeed, many of our most rigid 
social regulations have arisen from the "golden rule" itself. Take, 
for instance, the one that the hostess must see each guest provided 
with entertainment before she herself takes part. True ! ''it is not 
polite" to do otherwise, but why? Because feeling for others in 
preference to ourselves should be the ruling motive. It cannot be 
hoped that a child, who has been permitted to think of self always, 
will preserve the unities of social life when he or she emerges from 
the seclusion of childhood. The true foundation, therefore, of both 
manner and manner^-, should be early ingrained and consist chiefly 
of forgetfulness of self in the wishes and wants of others. 

Bernardin de St. Pierre, the great French writer (the immortal 
St. Pierre, of "Paul and Virginia" renown), in one of his most 
excellent works on nature, relates an anecdote of a certain tyrant, 
who obliged his subjects to fit a bed of certain dimensions. Of those 
who were too short, he had the legs stretched ; of those who were 
too long, he had the legs amputated. For, meet the requirements 
of that bed, they must. It seems like a very ridiculous story if told 
for truth, does it not? But as a fable (or an allegory, rather) it 
seems especially able. The same process is going on daily, has 
been for centuries, will be for cycles, should the world last so long. 
If we bear enmity toward a fellow-being, impartial as we may be, 
justly as we may desire to judge him, do we not expand his failings 
and curtail his virtues, in order that he may better suit our ideas 
of what he is ? If we possess in another an ideal of goodness, do we 
not try our best to belittle his faults to ourselves, and enlarge his 
good qualities, in order that he may exactly fit the dimensions by 
which we have chosen him to be measured ? 

Virtue and vice have no actual standard ; people possess 
no intrinsic worth which everyone will acknowledge. Each one 
measures and weighs his kind by what they are worth to him, 
individually, and, if they fail to comply with the requirements, then 
something is wrong. It is all a mistake, if one only knew in what 
way to correct it. The habit of reducing all human attributes to a 



SOCIAL RELATIONS. 291 

certain fixed standard by which we judge, is a grave fault, and one 
which each should strive hard to kill out in himself or herself. To 
allow other people, unmolested, to have tastes and opinions which 
we can neither comprehend nor appreciate, is one of the hardest 
lessons to be learned in life. The feeling that prompts "What do 
you do it that way for? / do not do it so," is one to be rigidly 
rooted out — the sooner the better. The sooner we learn that people 
may neither eat, drink, sleep, dress, nor even think as we do, and 
still be neither fools nor miscreants, the better, not only for all 
around us, but for ourselves. 

The decadence of "old-time hospitality," and the exceedingly 
flimsy article now offered as a substitute, have served as text for 
many a disquisition, of later years. The plea seems to be, that 
people in general are so devoured with a desire for show as show, so 
anxious, each one to outshine his neighbor, that all not only endeavor 
to do so, at the sacrifice of comfort for themselves and guests, 
but, failing in the accomplishment of this grand object, in a spirit 
of envy and unpleasantness, shut themselves up, away from all 
necessity of "entertaining," by avoiding society altogether. 

There is, no doubt, much truth in the ground taken here, but it 
does not cover everything. There is one more reason, seemingly a 
greater interference to the "old-time" hospitality than that already 
mentioned. What people were, individually, in their social relations 
in by-gone days it would be folly to try to ascertain now. But it 
really seems as if the guests must have been a little different then as 
well as the hosts. 

Some woman remarks: "If you want to tell about the house- 
keeping qualities of a lady of your acquaintance, do not form your 
judgment by her parlor, but by the soap cup in her spare chamber. If 
that is clean, she is a good housekeeper." While it is not presumable 
that the writer of the phrase above quoted meant it in its literal sense, 
the literal sense of the opening phrase is going far towards killing 
out the free-handed giving of such as we may have, which is trtte 
hospitality. 

"If you want to tell about housekeeping qualities." There is 
just where the rub comes. What business has a guest to "tell 
about the housekeeping qualities" of the hostess to whose courtesy 
an enjoyable time is due ? Guests have every right to your time and 
indulgence and endeavors to entertain, but hosts and hostesses also 
have "inalienable rights," and among these is, that those who are 



292 QUEEN OF HOME. 

indebted to them for the accepted invitation, shall not, immediately 
upon leaving the house, "tell about the unwashed soap cup in the spare 
chamber," or any other little defect which may occur in the house- 
keeping. Not only "accidents," but oversights "will occur in the 
best regulated families." 

Many a woman would gladly entertain her wealthier neighbor, 
giving her her best, but refrains, because, from certain uncharitable 
remarks she has heard that neighbor make, she feels that her effort 
will not be received in the hospitable spirit in which it is intended, 
but will be picked to pieces as falling short of what the guest has 
been used to. Consequently, the would-be hostess makes no effort 
in that line, unless the necessity be forced upon her ; then, being a 
timid woman, with a nervous dread of the scathing remarks of some 
of the people whom she is obliged to invite, she makes an over- 
exertion, involves herself in expense she can ill afford, makes herself 
sick with worriment, does not save herself, in any degree, from the 
ill-natured remarks of the cavillers, and ends up by vowing it to be 
the "last time." 

So many people make ill-judged, disagreeable remarks to their 
hosts, indicative of great want of thought, if not of ill-breeding. In 
illustration — once upon a time a lady called at the house of a friend 
just about dinner time. Mrs. A. — "Will you have a piece of mince 
pie, Mrs. B. ?" Mrs. B. (smiling) — "O thank you, yes." Mrs. B. 
(tasting the mince pie, quietly lays down her fork) — "You must 
excuse me, Mrs. A., but I have just eaten a large piece of Mrs. C.'s 
elegant mmz^y^i^'' (emphasis, perhaps unconscious, on elegant) "and 
I do not believe I am hungry." And Mrs. B. never seemed to know^ 
that she had done an atrociously rude thing. But, it is needless to 
state that Mrs. A. never forgot the circumstance to the day of her 
death (for the illustration is taken from life). Now Mrs. B. either 
had a vacant spot to be filled, or she had not. If she had not, she 
should not have taken the pie ; if she had a place to stow it away, 
having taken it, she should have eaten the most of it, even though it 
was not just the kind she had been used to, or was not as elegant as 
Mrs. C.'s. 

Just fancy having a woman like Mrs. B. as your guest for a 
week, or even over night. Mrs. B's are uncommon ? Not by any 
means. There are plenty of them, and Mr. B's too. Plenty of men 
and women who make all sorts of tactless remarks (not, perhaps, 
with malice aforethought, but just as cutting all the same), to one's 



SOCIAL RELATIONS. 293 

face, and exceedingly unpleasant ones behind one's back. It is no 
one's business what kind of a housekeeper or what kind of a 
domestic man, the host and hostess are. "The relation between 
host and guest is a sacred one, and remember neve}"- to speak of the 
peculiarities of your guests," and it may be added that the reverse 
is equally important. If the housekeeping and the cooking, the 
domestic arrangements, the children, the master of the house, are, 
any or all of them, unendurable or even unpleasant, do not go again. 
But — do not "tell about" them. 

Doubtless the method of entertaining has, like all other things, 
undergone a radical change within the last century, but, apart from 
the reasons given above, there are many things which have militated 
against the preservation of the "old-time hospitality." The woman 
of the present day is as different from the woman of the past century 
as are the customs. She has different aims and aspirations — newer 
and wider fields are open to her — her soul is enlarged and expanded 
— her opportunities immeasurably increased — her education advanced 
— and with all this, newer and higher responsibilities fall upon her. 
She is laying the foundation to-day for a higher and nobler race yet 
to come. The inheritance of education, is an indisputable fact, and 
the woman of the next century will doubtless, in a certain sense, 
begin where the woman of to-day leaves off. Seen in the newer and 
higher light, her duties assume a different aspect, and she learns that 
"social relations" exist not only between her and the companions 
whom she invites to her house to "eat, drink and make merry," but 
as well, between her and every other man, woman and child in the 
universe. She has learned that she, her individual and achtal self, is 
in a degree responsible for the welfare of the rest of humanity. She 
has learned that a certain bond of responsibility exists between her 
and the servant-maid in her kitchen or the inebriate in the street, as 
well as the be-plumed and be-ringed young lady who dances in her 
parlor. She has learned that she is no longer a mere "drop in the 
bucket," with no individuality to distinguish her from all the rest ; she 
is a distinct, integral part, of a Great Plan, and that she will be held 
individually accountable for her method of discharge of her duties 
to the whole human race, let those duties be what they may, according 
to her walk of life. She has not, perhaps, learned all this yet, in its 
fullest sense, but she is fast learning it, and in exact proportion to 
her acquirement of the lesson, will her individual nature become 
nobler, her aspirations greater, her influence wider. 



294 QUEEN OF HOME. 

There is, perhaps, no quahty or attribute possessed by man, to 
which there is a more untrue value attached by the possessor, than 
that of personal influence. By reason of vanity, many overrate their 
personal importance, but by reason of lack of self-appreciation, or 
timidity, myriads underestimate the power they possess for good or 
evil. 'Tt is not worth while for me to say anything; nobody cares 
for my opinion," argues some timid man, or shrinking woman, and 
the good that might be done, is lost. They are overwhelmed with 
a realizing sense that they are but a ''drop in the bucket," but they 
should at the same time realize, to their good and to that of others, 
that to. each drop is given the power of attracting and influencing 
every other drop in the bucket. The trite old story of the ''straw 
which broke the camel's back," contains two morals, instead of one. 
We are too apt to use this fable to illustrate what can be done by 
continued and persistent effort. But, we too seldom consider that 
only in all the other straws having gone before, lay the power which 
"broke the camel's back." Had any one of the first straws been 
missing, that particular last one of which tradition tells us, would 
have been powerless to accomplish the work ascribed to it. 

The successful accomplishment of many projects, is not the result 
of the influence which is recognized, but of that unseen, unnoticed, 
subtle power exerted by those, often, who least know it themselves. 
Let no man or woman under or over estimate his or her influence on 
those around. If we may not have the honor of being the ''last 
straw," we may at least be one of the straws which has gone before, 
and as such, our personal influence is not by any means to be 
despised. 

Did you ever try to take from a shelf higher than your head a 
bottle ? And did you notice, at the time, that if you walked away 
from it you could see the bottle in its true position, so that if you 
could reach it from where you were then standing, you could put 
your hand on it without difficulty, while when you have again reached 
the shelf you are again obliged to grope blindly for the object so 
plainly visible from afar? It is precisely this law of nature that 
makes advice from a disinterested party often so valuable, and he 
who goes willfully on his own course, without seeking counsel from 
one who, from another position, can take an "outside view," knows 
not what he misses. It is the helmsman, who "sees from afar," that 
makes it possible for the engineer to send the boat upon its way. 

"Lead us not into temptation," is certainly the key-note of the 



SOCIAL RELATIONS. 295 

seven petitions given us as an example for prayer. Many a poor 
soul, with every desire in the world to do right, struggling manfully 
or womanfully against an inborn demon, has succumbed against a 
circumstance of temptation, and gone down to destruction by reason 
of a thoughtless act or word upon the part of a so-called "friend." 
Woman of to-day is recognizing this unfortunate but undeniable 
fact. She is becoming daily more and more cognizant and com- 
passionate of the temptations which supplement innate moral 
weakness m the human soul, and she is striving hourly to overcome 
the machinations of the inborn demon, by establishing such possi- 
bilities of surroundings, such "social relations" between herself and 
those unfortunate in any way, as shall make the struggle lighter and 
the prospect of final victory more sure. 

All this being true, the woman of to-day, with her higher, nobler 
aims, has not the time for the mere merry-making of the "good 
old-fashioned hospitality." Hospitality has taken on for her a newer, 
wider, more beautiful meaning, and through the discernment of 
higher education, she recognizes that she must feed not only the 
body of her "neighbor," but her mind and soul as well. 

Three single sisters, full of that divine hospitality which entertains 
the world, found themselves without charitable work directly at hand, 
because they had moved to a new city. This they could not endure ; 
but did they sit down and lament over their past opportunities ? Not 
a bit of it ! They sought new ones. Noting for several Sundays 
that some half-dozen young girls (evidently of the demi-monde) 
passed their house laughing loudly, and conversing coarsely and 
profanely, they determined, if possible, to give them a glimpse of a 
higher and better life, and without any preaching (which they knew 
would not be tolerated). One Sunday, at about the hour they were 
expected, one stood upon the doorstep, apparently by accident. She 
held in her hand a picture, at which one of them glanced as she went 
by, making her comments in the free, off-hand manner of her kind. 
"Perhaps you would like to look at it more closely," said the lady 
kindly, seizing this opportunity eagerly. From sheer surprise the 
party halted. She descended the step and showed them the picture 
closely, remarking at the same time, "I have many more inside, 
would you not like to see them?" Partly from surprise and partly 
because any novelty was hailed with delight, almost before they knew 
it, the party was ushered into her pretty parlor, and there they were 
kept for an hour, spell-bound by the hostess, who was extending to 



296 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



them the hospitaHty of the present day. Not a word of rehgion, not 
a word of reform, not a breath of their past, not a word of their future 
— nothing but such interesting information as should make them 
want to come again. And Sunday after Sunday did this class meet 
in that cheery little home. Day after day did the sisters, by their 
example, show these girls what a home might be when governed by 
a true "queen." Hour by hour did they raise in those girls, aspira- 
tions to become nobler and better, and surely the finger of time 
can record no nobler deeds than those of that trio, as they sat 
there, endeavoring (and succeeding) to awaken those wayward girls 
to a sense of true womanhood. They had found their ''neighbor" 
without much search ''by the wayside." 




CHAPTER 11. 



MISTRESS AND MAID. 




OCLA.L problems are constantly cropping up, but 
the one which now agitates the country, and which 
stands almost side by side in importance with the 
various political factions, is the question of mistress 
and maid ; or, the " Servant Question," as it is now 
denominated. 

The servant has grown to be regarded as one 
of our "neighbors." What relation the mistress shall 
bear to her maid — what relation the maid shall bear to 
her mistress — what relation each shall bear to the work 
to be done — are the agitating questions. And as in 
their ramifications they bear very strongly on the home 
question, both socially and politically, a chapter under 
the heading of Social Relations may well be reserved 
for the consideration of this issue. 

It would seem that the question is not so much 
what should be, or what has been, as what zs, and taken 
from this point of view the problem, in common with 
many others, is difficult of solution. 

First, the mistress. Some wise woman comes to the fore and 
announces that the solution of all the difficulty is that we have no 
servants ; that we do our own work. This bears absurdity on the 
face of it. Many of us are physically unfit for any manual labor at all, 
others unfit to take all the work of the house. Then, contends some 
one else, do not undertake the care of a household. Absurd ! as well 
say that a man should not start a business establishment unless he 
be able to do all the work of that establishment, from the entry^ in 
the journal to putting out the ashes. A household, from whatever 
other point it may be viewed, should of all things be considered 



298 QUEEN OF HOME. 

from a business standpoint. The fact should be recognized, too, 
that we are fortunately so constructed that we are not all capable 
of being or doing the same thing. A woman may be fitted to be 
thoroughly companionable, and yet unfitted for housework. Another, 
well-fitted for housework, but thoroughly uncompanionable. Why 
should the latter undertake a household on her own account, utterly 
failing in that great requirement in a wife, a true " helpmeet," or why 
should some worthy man be deprived of that element of brightness and 
sweetness which the former would bring into his life, simply because 
she was utterly unfit to do the washing, or even because the *' drudg- 
ery of housework tired her to death? " If I cared to be personal, I 
might cite more than one instance where a literary man's life had 
been almost wrecked by the loss of a wife who had been to him a 
most congenial and much-beloved companion, even though a life-long 
invalid. I might also quote other instances where the utmost discord 
had reigned, though the wife was a good housekeeper and thoroughly 
capable of doing all that her housekeeping demanded of her, because 
that fine appreciation of the higher plane upon which her husband 
lived, was utterly beyond her. Understand me, I am not objecting 
to good housekeeping, but it is well to view all sides of the 
question, and again I maintain that servants in a household, where 
such can be afforded, are not a luxury but a necessity, as allow- 
ing time and strength for the pursuit of more merely intellectual 
occupations. 

One great trouble exists in the persistent perversion and mis- 
understanding of the word "Servant." A servant is merely "one 
who serves." Do we not all serve? A lady once, on applying for 
a position in a dental office, was asked by the dentist, "Tell me, 
please, exactly your idea of studying with me ? Do you expect to 
learn the profession in this way ? " She thought a moment and then 
replied, " No, I do not think I ever mean to practice. My object at 
present is merely to undergo such instruction and experience as shall 
make me a valuable servant in any dentist's office. There are too 
many heads to establishments now, in all professions. I desire to be 
merely a valuable servant. A wide-awake, experienced, intelligent 
servant is a rarity in these days, I am convinced. The minute an 
underling obtains a certain amount of judgment and knowledge in 
his own line, he wants to establish himself by himself. My idea is to 
make mysoM valuable as an employe." " Good !" said he, "you talk 
like a woman of sense." The place was hers, and what she had 



SOCIAL RELATIONS. 299 

said, she proved. The misapprehension of the word servant, arises, 
however, primarily in the mind of the mistress, and is afterward 
conveyed subtly, or perhaps with most direct plainness, to the servant. 
With such we cannot deal, they must regulate themselves. 

Let us now take another view of the question — the relation of 
servant to mistress. This is, perhaps, a little more complicated than 
the former. 

It has long been a source of regret that the tendency of the 
latter day inclines young girls to factories, instead of some "cool, 
quiet, kitchen," where they will be well-fed and receive all possible 
consideration. Try, however, to look at the matter from thew point 
of view, and see if they have have not a reasonable motive of action. 
Admitting the strong contrast of surrounding between a "cool, 
quiet, kitchen," and a noisy, stuffy, factory or " establishment," what 
comes next into consideration ? Hours ? Yes, hours ; and here's 
" the rub." 

Upon the women of America, the young girls, devolves, in a 
great measure, the support of their families, as before stated — not 
only the support but the assistance — and of what possible service 
can a young girl be In her family when she is out at service ? If she 
is in a factory, her hours may be from six to six, but when the second 
six comes round, her work is done, and she is at absolute liberty to 
dispose of her time. She goes home, perhaps, only to amuse herself, 
but in the greater number of instances to help wash the dishes or put 
the children to bed. A mistress cannot spare her servant in this way ; 
it is not reasonable to ask it, nor could it be granted. Therefore it 
must be granted that the hours in a factory are shorter and leave 
more time for home occupations and amusements. 

Next in consideration — work and wages. While the family is 
partially dependent upon the young girl, it is an indisputable fact 
that money — pure, hard cash — is desirable. Therefore, though the 
work be heavier and more confining during working hours, she will- 
ingly undertakes it on account of the increased wages. 

" But her board — they, none of them, count that in." No, 
they, none of them, count that in, because it is a very inconsiderable 
thing. "Inconsiderable! I guess you don't know what a difference it 
makes," I hear a housekeeper indignantly exclaim. O, but I do ! I 
know what it costs in your house or mine, but I also know that in their 
own homes it does not cost anything like so much. It costs it in your 
house or mine, because there is no difference made in the two tables ; 



300 QUEEN OF HOME. 

but you will admit, upon the least reflection, that the food this young 
girl finds at your table is much more expensive than what she finds 
at her own. A simple calculation in inverse proportion, will show 
you that her board is less drain at home than at your house. And 
she would far rather make the extra money that is to buy the corned 
beef or pork for her family, and share it with them, than dine alone 
at your table on the dainties you place before her, her heart troubled 
meanwhile, perhaps, that a great strong girl like herself should be 
feeding on the delicate nourishment for which little crippled Katie is 
suffering at home. 

Little crippled Katie ! This brings up another point. The fac- 
tory girl's evenings are her own. If the family be sick, one or all of 
them, who is to gainsay her if she watch with them every night ? No 
one ; and the grateful mother is only too thankful for the opportunity 
for rest. If she breaks down, for, of course, it is not right to watch 
unceasingly, no one calls her to account — it is her privilege. But 
where is the mistress who will, or can, spare her maid-of-all-work, 
night after night, even in cases of illness? She has "her nights," 
and the machinery of the well-regulated household hinges not a little 
on "the girl's night out." 

Again, suppose she does not return home for all these duties — 
suppose she is so situated that she returns merely to enjoy her home, 
what then ? Does any candid woman pretend that her kitchen 
represents to her maid any element of true home ? In her own home 
she has, perhaps, her own little parlor, in which are collected the very 
best attempts at decoration, of which her taste and purse are capable, 
and here, in this little parlor, she can receive the "followers," which 
are forbidden in the kitchen in so m.any households. There is 
implanted in every human soul, a desire for a good time. There is 
also implanted in each breast a desire for intercourse with our fellow- 
beings of both sexes. Is it natural, therefore, that when a young 
girl has finished her day's work by washing the dishes, she should 
find her highest enjoyment in sitting down in the " cozy kitchen " by 
herself to knit or read ? She is cut out of your good times in the 
parlor — she has none of her own. She may go home once a week, 
perhaps, and receive her friends, but those days must seem very far 
apart to the young, active, fun-loving American girl. 

Admitting that humanity is the same the world over — that race, 
climate or color makes no difference, except, perhaps, in degree — 
that the Lord has implanted in the human soul certain hopes and 



SOCIAL RELATIONS. 301 

desires, ranging not so much in degree as quality, according to the 
surroundings and refinement of the possessor — we can but admit 
that in all hearts, no matter the sex, has been implanted the desire 
to *' some day " own a home. All men look forward to the day when 
they shall establish a home — all women look forward to the possibility 
of reigning as queen in some such home. 

"Foolish thing! To leave me where she was so comfortable, 
and marry that poor young fellow, where she'll have to work like a 
horse, to help keep soul and body together ! " exclaimed a mistress 
when her valued maid, spite of the edict, ** no followers," had pledged 
herself to this same " poor young man." 

" Foolish thing ! " Why ? Because she is going with the choice 
of her heart, from a "comfortable home," to one less comfortable ? 
Let that same mistress look back to the time when she, herself, 
pledged herself to do her best to help make a comfortable home for 
her "Paul." Did she not know that she was going to a home in 
which many, if not most, of the luxuries to which she had been 
accustomed, would be absolutely wanting ? Did this deter her? Did 
she not look forward with actual pleasure to the fact that some 
sacrifices would be required of her ? And had that same Paul been 
called to the frontiers by his profession or calling, would she have 
hesitated to go with him ? Would she not rather have rejoiced that 
she was able to help him bear his hard life ? The contrast in one 
case is no greater than that in the other, and why should one woman 
hesitate more than the other ? 

In this connection, however, I do not hesitate to make the state- 
ment that for the present chaotic state of the kitchen, the young 
man of the present day is in a high degree responsible. Admitting 
that the young mechanic is desirous of taking unto himself the care 
of a wife, where does he look for one? In someone's kitchen? Not 
by any means, if for no other reason than that he seeks the ones 
whom he is likely to meet. He seeks, as a help-m^^t, the girl who, 
by all odds, must be of the least possible use or help to him — he 
seeks the girl who has had no chance whatever of learning the ways 
and means of housekeeping and home-making, and the result is often 
a disastrous failure. But why does he do this ? Partly because of 
the reason above, but mainly because the average young mechanic 
and laboring man has grown to regard "living out" as a position of 
which to be ashamed. He prefers to take his wife from that which 
he chooses to consider a higher walk of life, spite of her ignorance 



;o2 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



of domestic affairs. It is all wrong ? Certainly, but it is — that 
seems to be the main question. And it is an unfortunate, but 
equally indisputable fact, that we, as mortals, are much more apt to 
try to do what we zuish, than what is for our best good. 

These are some of the various reasons why we have a decadence 
of servants in these days. I am not offering any solution of the 
difficulty. I have merely striven to present, clearly, some of the 
views that may be taken of this very agitating question. I leave it 
to others to say what shall be done ; I can but express my firm 
conviction that the outcome of it all, not perhaps in your time or 
mine, will be co-operative housekeeping. 




CHAPTER III. 



GNATS. 



HO is not familiar with the story of the bull, 
who having successfully combated with larger 
foes, was finally driven to desperation, and 
even death, by such insignificant things as 
gnats ? 

Who, in his own experience, has not met 
with the same thing ? Who does not remem- 
ber the day, when the gentle breeze displacing a leaf, the 
chirp of a cricket, or the breaking of a pencil point, drove 
him nearly distracted ; a day when perhaps the firing of a 
cannon would not have made him wince ? 

A little worry is like the proverbial " little knowledge " — 
*'a dangerous thing." We drive it away; it but returns 
to sting us or at least buzz in our ears. We strike at it, 
but generally find that we have wounded ourselves and 
left the torment very much alive. 
From a mad dog we run to a place of safety, but from the flocks 
of mosquitoes that attack us upon our doorstep, or from the one 
which has insinuated itself under the net, we have no redress. If 
our enemy deliberately attack us, we know what to do — meet it as 
best we can. 

But if, instead of a lie or a personal attack, our enemy indulge 
only in one or many of the petty methods by which we human beings 
can make another utterly, suicidally wretched, without the aggressor 
being amenable to the law, we are absolutely helpless. With what 
discomfort of mind to the victim may a simple question or expression 
be fraught if but accompanied by a raising of the brow, a meaning 
smile, or a peculiar inflection of the voice ? 

A slander that is really a libel is easily met — an arrow that can 
be removed from the wound with comparatively little discomfort. 




304 QUEEN OF HOME. 

An insinuation that is in effect a slander, yet merely remains a slander, 
is a bullet entering a wound and hiding itself to rankle there even 
after the flesh is healed to the world, and causing more trouble and 
soreness than three or four clean-cut arrow wounds. 

The mad dogs of life are comparatively few — the gnats are 
legion. It is not only from '* battle, murder and sudden death," but 
from the petty annoyances forming so large an element in our daily 
lives that we need deliverance. 

Among the ''gnats" which are more soul-trying than all the 
rest, are the unhappy people we meet — people who seem determined 
that life owes them a grudge, no matter what their circumstances 
are. They seem to recognize no responsibility upon their own part 
to make life endurable for others, and one sometimes almost fails to 
see their use in the world, except, perhaps, as an "awful example." 

'' Rich is he who has more than he wants," and happy is he who 
can see some good in his unpleasant surroundings. Taking human 
life as a whole there is, of course, more unhappiness than happiness, 
and if we choose to look round we can see, without going far, nay, 
at our gates almost, cases of poverty that amount almost to desti- 
tution. These the world is accustomed to regard as the most unhappy 
cases of all. 

This, however, is not the true view, for even destitution is often 
accompanied by a spirit so bright and cheery as to make even the 
pangs of hunger light. The people most needing our pity (not 
sympathy) are those who are persistently unhappy in spite of the 
most pleasant circumstances, those who see in every change of fortune 
only possible evil, no matter which way the scales may balance. 

There are many who actually seem to consider it a virtue to find 
a flaw in everything rather then accept '' the goods the gods provide." 
They ''cant help it" they claim. For such, the weather is never 
right. They see no beauty in the sunset, because, forsooth, " Dear 
knows how long such weather will last. It is very nice now, but, 
likely as not, it will rain to-morrow." 

Present good is invariably swallowed up in prospective evil. The 
word "sympathy" was advisedly avoided, and the word "pity" used 
instead. Such people are truly to be pitied, but not in any degree to 
be sympathized with. The persons with whom to sympathize, are those 
who are daily compelled, by force of circumstances, to listen to their 
vain repinings and their puerile complaints. 

If one does them a kindness, they are sure to see some sinister 



SOCIAL RELATIONS. 305 

motive behind it. If ordinary accidents happen, they look wise and 
insinuate that it was all design. 

If another be compelled by an inexorable fate to forego an 
engagement, no amount of humble apologies or explanations will 
convince these Solomons that the whole thing was not designed from 
the beginning, and that the engager never meant to keep the appoint- 
ment. Such people have the very worst opinion of everybody but 
themselves. As to themselves, they are 7iever wrong, oh no! — ^ 
their judgments, spite of many proofs to the contrary, (conveniently 
forgotten) are always correct ; their comments on passing events, if 
the events be adverse, invariably "I told you so," and, spite of the fact 
that the lie is so often given to their funereal predictions, they are still 
undaunted and come to the surface with their lugubrious prophesies at 
the first opportunity, (and to such, opportunities are not wanting.) 

The power to notice and enjoy that which is really to be enjoyed 
in our lot, is as possible of cultivation as the power to learn to read, 
and is quite as necessary if one would regard life in any other way 
than as one long, painful grind. (This latter we have, for the sake 
of humanity, no right to do.) It is also possible to be very miserable 
without making of ourselves absolute nuisances to all around us. 

One of our first duties to our children should be to inculcate in 
them a sense of gratitude, not gratitude to us, but the gratitude 
which is really thankful that things are no worse. 

This is our duty no more to them than to mankind. It is to be 
done not only that they, personally, may be benefited but, lest society 
and the home circle be cursed in them themselves, with that most 
disagreeable of all bores — habitual grumblers. 

I presume that if we were really stoical we would not let this 
''gnat," annoy us. That we would reflect that they are more unhappy 
in themselves than we could possibly be in their company, but one can- 
not help feeling a desire to try, by forcible language, if by no other 
way, to oblige them to keep their puerile complainings to themselves. 

However, as this is beyond our jurisdiction, let us each strive, 
for our own sakes at least, (if we prefer to take a selfish view of the 
matter) to cultivate in ourselves, to the fullest extent in our power, 
to accept circumstances as they come with a good grace. ' ' Laetus Sorte 
Mea ! " What a glorious, soul-inspiring motto ! 

The poor man with a shortened leg had certainly found the 
true philosophy of life. "I've always been so glad," said he, "that 
both legs weren't shorter than the other." 



CHAPTER IV. 



FORM. 



ND finally arrives the time when, after a season 
of training, and polishing, and finishing, our 
little daughter emerges from the nursery and 
takes her place in society. She is invested with 
a new dignity — she has "come out," and she 
stands before the world a full-fiedged young 
lady. Before her, lie all the pleasures which she 
has as yet seen but from afar ; or, at best, tasted very 
sparingly, and if she has been carefully trained to meet 
this moment, while for the time being, her head may be 
a little turned by the intoxication of the new life, ''let 
not your heart be troubled," for beneath the butterfly 
exterior of the moment, the same beautiful soul is hidden 
which, if you have been wise, you know so well, and in 
a little while, matters will have adjusted themselves. If 
you have been wise, and it has been possible, you have not entirely 
neglected your social duties and pleasures during your children's 
nursery days, and you stand ready, now that your daughter is 
emancipated from nurser}^ rule, to have her enter society under your 
own chaperonage. You will not always feel it necessary to accom- 
pany her, perhaps, but she will feel that you can understand her 
enjoyment of her good time, and the mother and daughter will be as 
companionable as ever. If you are wise, you will fill your house with 
young people and give them a good time and renew your own youth, 
while giving others pleasure. Your husband, too, will be delighted 
to see you again resume something like the vivacity of early days, 
and life will assume new proportions all around. How often do we 
see the lamentable spectacle of a father and his daughters out at 
some evening entertainment without the mother, because she ''does 
not care for society." Perhaps she does not, but it is her duty, for 




SOCIAL RELATIONS. 307 

her children's sake, to keep up with the times, at least in a degree. 
An unfortunate day has arrived when an able-bodied mother must 
depend on her children for knowledge as to social forms and customs, 
or else commit solecisms, at which her children shall be mortified. 
Woe to the mother who is a public mortification to her children ! Their 
love is the same, but her influence is weakened till it is merely nominal. 

And what is mere form ? Let him define it who can. 

Form is a thing of such infinite degrees, and is subject to such a 
variety of interpretations, that it is almost impossible to convey to 
another any adequate conception of the meaning of the word. " Let 
us be natural," says one. ''Let us act out our real selves. All 
this form is cramping to the soul ; it is the death of true society, 
making social life a hollow mockery." 

But if we handle the subject analytically we find that ''form" 
is the military discipline of society, and what our army would be 
without its discipline, would our society be without its forms. Where 
forms and regulations exist, the ease with which one may act is very 
greatly increased. If there be a certain form to comply with and one 
meets its requirements, the thing is accomplished and one's respon- 
sibility over. But if each may act to suit himself or herself in any 
given case, one can never calculate what the result of that case may 
be, and the whole affair is naturally very much retarded. 

One is frequently asked, in a tone of derision, after one has 
remonstrated with another in regard to some particular breach of 
etiquette, "Ah? Is that the ' propah capah?'" Now, while the 
"propah capah" is a thing which certainly can be carried to excess, 
there is no manner of doubt that "ceremony" is the thing which 
keeps society together. 

Nearly all forms, abused though they be, have arisen from some 
real or fancied need — that is, they have been made to suit some par- 
ticular occasion. If the occasion never comes to you or me, we have 
no need of the form, but if it should come, do let us conform to that 
which general custom lays down as the "correct thing" to do. 

Though a subordinate may be the personal and intimate friend 
of a superior officer, does he on meeting him say, " How are you, 
general, or colonel?" as the case maybe. Indeed he does not. It 
is obligatory that he go through the form of a military salute. 

" But a man may be a good man and still know nothing about 
the requirements of society ! " 

True, a man may be a good man and not know how to salute 



o8 QUEEN OF HOME. 



his superior officers well, but he is not a good soldier. And to be a 
valuable and pleasant member of society, it is necessary to understand 
its customs and accede to its demands in a degree. 

Suppose each one in church should pray or sing as he felt inclined, 
what a bedlam would there be. Church government has prescribed 
certain forms and ceremonies for each denomination, and only in 
conforming to those forms and ceremonies, is the church government 
safe. Civil government has prescribed certain other laws and cere- 
monies, and without them where would civil government be ? 

Why not social laws, as well ? "I don't like hypocrisy ! " some 
one exclaims. ''I am not going to return Miss So-and-so's call and 
be civil to her, when I can't bear her, just because she has called on 
me and ' society ' says I must return it. Suppose, too, I am obliged 
to ask her to my house. I ask her because I imist, but I'm not going 
to be such a hypocrite as to ask her for the * pleasure ' of her company, 
when it is no pleasure at all." 

Let us inquire, when you met Miss So-and-so last, did you not 
say, '' How do you do ? " or " How are you ? " or " Good morning ? " 

Did you cm^e how she did, or was ? or did it strike you that 
'' Good morning " was merely an abbreviation of the wish for a " good 
morning to you ? " Was not this hypocrisy as well ? Why speak 
to her at all ? 

When one gives a dinner, it is customary to have soup, fish, 
meat, etc., in regulation order. Everyone who gives a dinner, does 
just this, and wherever the guest goes, he knows just what to expect, 
and he can arrange his appetite accordingly. This custom has been 
the outgrowth of various necessities. Gastronomes discovered years 
and years ago, that a little soup was an excellent appetizer ; so the 
custom of soup first, began to prevail. But custom likewise says ''a 
little soup," so that no matter how hungry one may be, or how deli- 
cious the soup, a little is all one takes. Why should not one eat 
more of it, if one wants it ? Because if one did, the appetite of the 
guest would be satisfied with the soup, and all the dinner following, 
would be a failure to the guest, and a disappointment to the hostess. 

There is no more reason in one guest continuing to eat soup till 
satisfied, than there is in one soldier putting out his left foot, when all 
the rest of the regiment put out their right. 

"There's nothing wicked in a man's eating with his knife," 
testily exclaimed a man when remonstrated with on this evidence of 
ill-breeding." 



SOCIAL RELATIONS. 309 

'' No," replied the other with a groan. " I wish there was ; then 
christians would not do it." 

There is nothing wicked in using one's knife to eat with, but 
custom again remonstrates and asserts that the fork is the more dainty 
as well as the less dangerous tool. 

It is ill-bred to leave one's spoon standing in one's cup, but 
why ? Etiquette discovered long ago that a spoon standing in a cup 
was a possible source of much discomfort to the careful housemother, 
as, in the most unwitting way, a wide sleeve or a carelessly handled 
napkin, might, and often did, upset the full cup, and thus destroy all 
the neatness of the daintily-set table, as well as make the washing of 
extra table linen necessary. So etiquette laid down the iron rule that 
the spoon must no^ stand up in the cup. 

It is useless to cite further instances, but all these only go to 
prove that from some cause in each case, other than mere whim, 
etiquette has gradually evolved her code, and that this code, if one 
would live in unity with his fellow-men, (likewise women) it is well 
to follow when occasion offers. 

"Form" is the backbone of a law-abiding community, and he 
who excuses himself for rudeness upon the plea that he "hates form," 
intrenches himself behind a prickly hedge which repulses all who 
would come near, and which will surely at some time thrust its spines 
deep into his own soul. 

If you are invited anywhere, for common decency's sake do go 
through the form of a properly-written acceptance or refusal. Don't 
think, "When I see him I'll tell him I'm not coming." 

Formality may become greatly exaggerated, but depend upon 
it, every form that has ever arisen, has originated in some necessity. 

Just as it is necessary for the sake of symmetry to have all the 
leaves of a book of one shape, just so is a combining of a number 
of small and apparently Insignificant and useless customs, necessary- 
to the formation of a symmetrical social body. 




CHAPTER V. 



SOCIAL VISITING. 




UR daughter is now launched fairly upon the 

world, and must take up her share of the social 

visiting — calling and receiving, attending and 

giving entertainments — entering into all that 

life brings her. It is to be hoped that she has 

not that very undesirable attribute, the typical 

American voice. Whether the ''typical voice" 

of any other nation be better or worse than that of our 

own, we cannot, even as enthusiastic and loyal citizens, 

deny that the typical voice of Americans (the more 

especially that belonging to the women of America), is 

unpleasant. 

Of course, we all do strenuously deny this fact, but 
an hour spent in any railway station, or anywhere else 
where Americans "most do congregate," will prove that 
our denial is based on false premises. If this were a 
failing, a defect, one might accept the unpleasant fact as inevitable. 
But such is not the case. In the American vocal chords lie all 
the elements of pleasant, flowing tones, and the reverse, in most 
cases, is merely the result of ignorance or carelessness — ignorance 
upon the part of the parents, carelessness upon the part of the 
speaker. 

A well-known teacher of elocution was accustomed to give this 
as a primary rule: ''Remember that the first thing necessary, is to 
cultivate a low-pitched, smooth, even voice, not a tone, used merely 
in reading before me or others, but a regular habit of voice. This 
will very materially aid you in becoming good elocutionists." This 
statement she proved, by results, and pupils finished by her, were as 
absolutely changed in regard to the voice in daily use, as they were 



SOCIAL RELATIONS. 311 

In their powers of elocution. The high-pitched, nasal tone, heard so 
often in America (commonly and appropriately denominated "a nasal 
twang") is the result merely of lack of cultivation. 

Much of this work of cultivation properly falls into the mother's 
hands, if she only knew it. A mother who permits her child to talk 
through her nose, is laying up for her daughter an element of future 
discomfort ; for the time will most probably arrive, when both mother 
and daughter will realize that the habit could have been more readily 
corrected in childhood — the more especially if the daughter desires 
to sing. We teach our children to turn out their toes, because the 
reverse is ugly; why not teach them to ''turn out" their voices, in 
full, round tones, for the same good reason ? 

Business men assert that one great element of business success 
is a good voice. The wisdom of a Solomon, conveyed in a weak 
or nasal tone, loses half its weight, while the utterances of one 
much less inspired, if given in round, full tones, carry with them 
conviction. The man who utters them, impresses the hearer as 
believing in himself, and he who can impress others with this fact, 
wins half the battle, almost before the conflict begins. 

What is true of man, is equally true of woman, and as it is her 
duty to make the most of any gift with which she may be endowed, 
let her be sure that among those gifts, not by any means to be 
despised or neglected, is a good, clear, sweet, even voice, such as 
can be acquired by the expenditure of a little care, thought and 
practice. 

Well, we will assume that the daughter has received the proper 
training in this respect, as well as in all others ; that she has a fair 
proportion of good looks ; that she is dressed reasonably within the 
bounds of present fashion, combined with becomingness of garb ; 
that she has a fairly well-balanced mind and a good education. She 
is not phenomenal in any respect ; she is merely a good, wholesome, 
honest, well-regulated, fun-loving girl, with eyes wide open to see 
all round her, and nerves and sensibilities very much alive to all 
influences. Thus equipped, she is ready to take her place side by 
side with the veterans in the discharge of her social duties. 

First of these, perhaps, as the simplest, comes the duty of 
''calling." In a late article, Mrs. Mary E. Sherwood asserts that it 
is a mooted question, at present, as to who shall pay the first call in 
a new neighborhood — that some authorities assert that it is the part 
of the new-comer to make the first call, though commoner custom 



312 QUEEN OF HOME. 

makes that duty devolve upon the prior resident. It would seem 
that there should be no question upon this subject. Common sense 
would seem to dictate that the latter method was the true one, first, 
because It evinces a disposition to be neighborly with the new-comer ; 
second, because It Is very unpleasant for anyone in any degree sensi- 
tive, to call on a number of absolute strangers, without any idea as to 
her reception. Nor has she any means of judging of her recep- 
tion, unless she begins a systematic gossiping among those whose 
acquaintance she has already made. Therefore, unless your lot is 
cast where the reverse has been laid down as a fixed rule, by all 
means, wait until the neighbors have first called upon you. This 
first call should be returned within one week. After that, circum- 
stances will regulate matters for you. If the acquaintance Is an 
uncongenial one, you will not be obliged to return the second call, 
and here the acquaintance will probably end. If calling upon more 
than one person in one house, send up (If they are in) a card for 
each one. If they are out, leave cards for each. On no account, or 
under no circumstances, make one card "do" for two people. If 
calling upon a friend who is visiting a hostess unknown to yourself, 
you must, by all means, ask for the hostess also, and send up or 
leave cards for both, precisely the same as if you were acquainted 
with both. This is an Invariable regulation, which cannot change 
with time, as It springs from the courtesy of consideration. 

The time of day for calling must depend somewhat upon the 
custom of the place in which you dwell or are visiting. It is not 
well for anyone to strenuously maintain a rigid etiquette, even 
though she knows herself to be correct according to^ the latest code 
in fashionable quarters, If It is not in accordance among the people 
with whom her lot is cast. Ordinarily, however. Intimate calling Is 
done between the hours of eleven and one, while more ceremonious 
calls are made from, two to four. But even these hours vary In 
different large cities, and the points of etiquette change so con- 
stantly, that books written upon these subjects are really ''out of 
date" In a few months. All one can do is to keep constantly on 
the alert for Information as to the latest fad. For instance, the 
ultra-fashionables now declare that it Is admissible — and not only 
admissible, but proper — to eat, among other things, tarts, lettuce 
and cheese with the fingers, as well as the wing or drumstick of a 
chicken. A lady visiting lately in Washington, created quite a 
sensation at a dinner party by deftly taking the wing of the chicken 



SOCIAL RELATIONS. 313 

in her fingers, taking the meat therefrom with no other assistance 
than that provided by her teeth. After she had left, she was freely 
discussed and her supposed gaucheine severely condemned. But 
they were assured by the only other lady present who always knows 
what the last fad is, that this was the latest edict issued by Dame 
Fashion in New York. So you see that even if you are supposed to 
know everything, you do not quite always know what is being done 
in the highest circles of some other fashionable city. Possibly, the 
lady in question was in her heart, pitying the rest of the company 
who were so far behind the times as to eat their chicken with their 
forks when New York says fingers. 

The question of parties and balls is one to be settled largely by 
the customs of the place, but they are not nearly so much in vogue 
at the present day as they have been in years gone by. Receptions 
and "afternoons" and ''evenings" have largely taken their place. 
These meet the requirements of social intercourse, and entail upon 
both hostess and guest much less preparation. A reception or tea 
may be either as simple or as elaborate an affair as the hostess may 
choose to make it. The bill of fare for an "afternoon tea" may 
consist only of sandwiches, tea, coffee and chocolate, if the hostess 
feel so inclined. In fact, it should be a very simple affair, or it 
defeats its end, by becoming a nuisance, as an interference with 
dinner. A reception may, likewise, be a very simple affair. There 
is this difference in the serving of the two. In an afternoon tea, the 
hostess herself dispenses the tea with her own hand in the parlor, 
and the sandwiches, or whatever other light food is served in 
addition, is handed the guests while in the parlor. At a reception, the 
edibles, be they little or much, are served in the dining room, and 
the guests pass out there for refreshments (where they are waited 
upon by a waiter), after they have conversed with the hostess and 
the other guests for some time. When a lady receives an invitation 
to a reception, to take place from seven to nine, for instance, she is 
not, however, expected to remain the whole two hours. This is one 
of the great advantages of a reception. It can be given in a com- 
paratively small house, for a much greater number of guests can be 
entertained by taking them "in sections," as it were. "Evenings," 
too, when it is generally understood that the hostess is home, with- 
out any set invitation given out, and when such guests call in an 
informal manner as they feel inclined, where the entertainment for 
the body is of the simplest character, and that for the mind, just 



SH 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



whatever presents itself on the spur of the moment — such evenings 
as these may be counted among our most enjoyable social occasions. 
There may be but one or two guests, or there may be a dozen, but 
there is no strain upon either entertainer or entertained. This 
custom of setting days and evenings apart for entertaining one's 
friends is desirable from many points of view, and is becoming more 
and more popular. When one has friends at some distance, it is on 
both sides somewhat of a labor to call. It is, therefore, very disappoint- 
ing to make this effort only to find the hostess absent. If, however, 
there be a regular day set for reception of calls the matter simplifies 
itself, .and no one is disappointed. 




CHAPTER VI. 



SOCIAL CIRCLES AND CLUBS. 




HERE is a class of social meetings from which 
very much enjoyment is extracted, and yet there 
seems to be no head under which to class them, 
unlessit be the more common oneof "Sociables" 
They are hardly sociables, either, because, as 
an ordinary thing, sociables meet merely 
for pleasure. The meetings to which I refer 
are those in which part of the evening, at least, is 
spent in mutual improvement. There is, of course, 
much pretence about some of them, and much arrant 
nonsense, not to say twaddle, talked by some of the 
members, and sometimes a name will be given to a 
social meeting which entirely misleads. I was intensely 
amused a short time ago to have my advice asked in 
regard to the re-naming of some such club. They 
had been meeting under the name of the R. A. L. A., 
which, freely translated, meant the Royal American 
Literary Associatio7t, but as they met only for amuse- 
ment, pure and simple, and as the members did not aspire in any 
way to literary ability, acquirements or desires, they had concluded 
that the name was hardly appropriate. I strongly advised that they 
should take to themselves some name that did not mean anything 
at all. As they did not meet for any special purpose, such as dan- 
cing, singing or even card-playing, it would have been almost 
impossible to advise an appropriate name, unless it be the ''Nonde- 
script." I'm sorry I didn't think of that before. I advised them to 
call it "Sunflower" or "Ivy Leaf," or some equally inoffensive, 
euphonious and unmeaning title. Spite of all the arrant nonsense 
aforesaid, and inappropriate and ridiculous names given, there are 
very many of these societies instituted under the various heads 



3i6 QUEEN OF HOME. 

of Socials, Circles and Clubs, and they are not only entertaining but 
useful. 

In the old, old days of ''Singing Skules " Spelling-Bees were 
rife. Then they grew into disuse, but a few years ago they were 
again revived. There is much fun to be extracted from a well- 
conducted Spelling-Bee, let me tell you, and it will pay you to accept 
the very first invitation you receive (if you have never been to one), 
both on account of the fun, and that you may find out in the most 
unexpected and astonishing manner, what a poor speller you are. 

You are a very good speller? I don't doubt it for a moment, 
but just wait till the person who gives out the words at a Spelling- 
Bee, springs on you such simple words as "Balance," "Ballad" 
and "Parallel," without the slightest warning; if you don't put the 
"double L" in the wrong place, you will be doing better than 
thousands of others. There are some good spellers left in the world, 
I admit, but they are scarce. If there was one thing our grand- 
mother's were taught well, it was to spell. 

Reading Circles are another form of intellectual entertainment 
which open a wide field for individual choice. Some devote the time 
entirely to light literature — some to poetry, as, for instance. Browning 
or Tennyson Clubs ; some to the drama, as Shakspeare Clubs ; some 
to history, some to science, but all meeting with some definite idea of 
mental improvement. 

There is one form of Social Circle which is exceedingly interest- 
ing, and as a means of mental development, can hardly be equalled, 
because the territory covered is unlimited. Each member (or any 
number selected from among them) writes upon a slip of paper some 
question, of which he or she desires the answer. It must be some- 
thing about which the writer really desires information. It may be 
of any character whatever, from, "What is the origin of the word 
Macrame ? " or " Who was Thaddeus of Warsaw ? " to "What is the 
best yeast for raising bread?" or "What is the latest method of 
making mustard poultice ? " These questions are thrown together 
and distributed indiscriminately. The member receiving a question 
holds himself pledged between that time and the next meeting to do all 
in his power to obtain the desired information and present it to the 
company in concise form. And as each member is supposed to be pos- 
sessed of sufficient innate good-breeding to enable him to listen court- 
eously to the replies to other questions besides his own, each obtains 
a quantity of information which, even if miscellaneous, is valuable. 



SOCIAL RELATIONS. 317 

To be conducted on thorough business principles, there should 
be a secretary as well as a president attached to a circle of this kind, 
who should record in a book, with the date, all the questions asked, 
by whom they are asked, and by whom they are answered. It would, 
of course, be a work of much labor to record the replies themselves, 
but, perhaps, a brief note could be made or reference to volumes 
used, which would make the book invaluable as a reference. The 
foregoing idea is unfolding somewhat in the ''Queries" propounded 
by various magazines, for both old and young. Prizes are offered 
to the one who answers the whole set, and thus ambition is roused 
and much useful information sought and found on the part of the 
aspirants. 

Next in order we have clubs which meet for vocal music. These 
may be divided into two classes — those who sing little and talk much 
and those who talk little and sing much. In either case, however, 
the participants are satisfied, and they have a good time, and if the 
title of the former is a little aspiring and misplaced, who is to care? 
Perhaps the neighborhood is to be congratulated that they sing no 
more ! 

Next to these, and lastly, come the sociables, which meet for 
pleasure alone, and make no pretense to mental improvement (except, 
perhaps,- in title, as the Royal American Literary Association.) They 
meet for a good time, and they generally manage to have it. They are 
conducted upon on a scale somewhat proportionate to the means of 
the participants, and can be made simple or elegant, according to the 
desires of the members, but as these are more in the order of enter- 
tainments, and are a question of individual taste, we will leave them 
out of the question. 





ENTERTAINMENTS, 



CHAPTER I. 



SOAP-BUBBLE AND POP-CORN PARTIES. 



NTERTAINING one's friends does not mean 
what it once did. Such latitude of method, such 
variety of kind is there, that the hostess of the 
present day no longer gives a simple "party." 
In years gone by, the entertainment in ordinary, 
was a " party," which consisted of any number 
of guests, who were served with the regulation 
supper, at the regulation time, and who listened 
and danced to the same regulation music at each one. 
There might be a little more music, a little less supper, 
a greater profusion of flowers, a smaller number of 
guests, but one party was so nearly like every other one 
in kind, that each guest knew just about what to 
expect before the scene of festivity was reached. Whether 
we, as a nation, have grown to be more full of purpose, 
or whether, indeed, the change marks any national 
characteristic, I leave it for others to say; but that a change there 
is, cannot be denied. People congregate with a view to some 
definite plan — some particular object — albeit that object be an 
utterly frivilous one. The "dances" have, for the most part devel- 




^20 



QUEEN OF HOME. 




A MERRY WINTER EVENING. 



ENTERTAINMENTS. 321 

oped into "germans," or something of a character equally decided.' 
And, as for the manner of entertaining a number of guests when 
they meet, neither as a ''euchre party," "a whist party," "a heart 
party," nor any other special kind of party — they are very numerous. 
In fact, entertaining one's friends seems to consist of selecting first, 
something for them to do, and then providing the means whereby 
they may do it. 

For small entertainments then, we have, first, the "soap-bubble 
party" and the "pop-corn party." 

I mention these two first because they are of such a nature that 
they are quite as suitable for children as for adults, and having been 
described for the latter, each mother will know how to conduct one 
for the former. I would merely suggest, however, that if given 
for children, a soap-bubble party is much prettier and more enter- 
taining as a summer festivity, because much of the fun with children 
consists in seeing the bubbles float away into space. 

Now, then, for the "bubble-party" for adults. We must 
consider first the number of guests. This should be limited for two 
or three reasons. Primarily, because there should not be more than 
can comfortably stand around the dining-table, as the dining-room 
is probably the place in which you will blow your bubbles ; and, too, 
an affair of this kind is so essentially informal, that a number of 
guests would make it very uncomfortable. 

A third reason for limiting the number, is the expense of the 
prizes. There should be some small token for each guest, Avith some 
two or three extra ones. Of course the expense of these must 
depend upon individual ability and inclination, but it will be better to 
have a smaller number and rather more expensive ones, though, 
indeed, I have attended most enjoyable bubble-parties where, the 
prizes consisted of nothing more costly than a china doll or a 
wooden monkey on a stick. That is one great charm about these 
things, the prizes may be made as funny or as elaborate as the taste 
and ingenuity can devise. 

They may be all home-made, and consist of dainty hand-painted 

scent bags, needle-cases, etc., for the ladies, and pocket-pincushions 

or any other dainty trifle for the gentlemen ; or they may be bought, 

and consist of some funny toy ; or if elaboration and elegance is 

desired, the hostess may go still further and provide her guests 

with some appropriate article of jewelry. When this is done, 

however, it should be good of its kind, and the supper should 
21 



322 ^ QUEEN OF HOME. 

correspond with the elegance of the prizes. But be they large 
or small, expensive or comical, there should be, as before stated, one 
for each guest, with from three to a half-dozen extra, and the regu- 
lation of the blowing, should be so devised that each guest will 
procure some little memento of the evening. This is best done 
by, first of all, giving out prizes for the largest bubble blown in a 
given time. 

Suppose the time to be three minutes, the hostess takes her 
watch in her hand, and calling "Time!" watches for the moment 
when the hand shall have traversed three minutes' space. Meanwhile 
the guests have dipped and blown, dipped and blown with varied suc- 
cess — some bubbles bursting at once, some not going out until almost 
the goal is reached, when lo ! a puff, and they are gone, and perhaps 




the only bubble among the assembly will be one that has just been 
begun, and is not yet larger than an orange. But that is the one 
which gains the "first prize" in that contest. Having gained it, that 
aspirant blows no more, thus avoiding any possibility of obtaining a 
second prize in the same contest. This programme should be gone 
through, each successful guest dropping out, until all the guests 
have secured one memento. After that, any regulation that may 
seem good to the hostess, may be instituted for the drawing of 
the extra prizes. But it adds very much to the success of the party, 
if the hostess fully makes up her mind beforehand and then announces 
the regulations. To leave it in any way to the choice of the guests, 
after they assemble, is a mistake. If she feels inclined to add an 



ENTERTAINMENTS. 323 

element of elegance to this little affair, she can construct a neat, 
pretty little programme for each guest, upon a small card. These, 
she may hand-paint if she pleases, with some appropriate or fanciful . 
design, or decorate in any other way she may see fit, attaching 
a ribbon to one end, that it may be tied into the buttonhole of the 
wearer. 

Next, the pipes. These should be of ordinary clay, of two 
colors. They should be white for the ladies and reddish-brown for 
the gentlemen. On each should be painted prettily the date and the 
initials of the user. In these days, when almost every girl "paints 
a little," no matter of what else she is ignorant, it will not be 
YQvy difficult to do this or to find some friend who will willingly do 
it. If the pipes are prepared several days ahead, water-colors will 
be all-sufficient, but if they are to be used the next day, and will 
have but little time to dry, oil is better, as, unless very dry, the 
water-color will wash ofi", perhaps. Around the stem, just above the 
bowl, should be tied a piece of narrow ribbon, about six or eight 
inches long. This should be removed before using the pipe, but 
the owner will like to again attach it and hang the pipe and prize 
together upon the wall, at home, as a memento of the occasion. All 
such trophies are very^ pleasant to look upon, and youth likes to 
collect them. The pipes should be arranged in a pretty basket, which 
may form one of the extra prizes. 

Now, for the ''suds." These should be made by adding strong 
soap to water into which a little glycerine has been put. There is 
to be found so7newherQ, but I can recall neither where nor its real 
name, a soap-bubble fluid that is said to make the most marv^elous 
bubbles, both as to size and color. I can assure you that those 
who attend a properly conducted soap-bubble party have a merry 
time of it, and such a party is hailed with delight by both old and 
young. 

A ''pop-corn party" consists merely in collecting your friends 
(only a few) for a good old-fashioned popping of corn. To extract 
the most from such a party, there should be an open fire-place, and 
the light from the fire should be the main one in the room. The 
refreshments for such an evening as this should be simple, and con- 
sist mainly of fruits, or, perhaps, coffee and sandwiches, as agreeing 
better with the popped corn, which, of course, is eaten in quantities. 
However, this, too, is a matter of choice, for physicians are now 
recommending, as a cure for dyspepsia, thoroughly popped corn, 



324 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



sprinkled with salt. After it has been popped, the corn may be 
treated in three different ways. It may be merely salted or sugared 
-—it may be made into balls with a little syrup prepared for the 
purpose — or it may be buttered. The last is quite the approved 
plan, though hardly fit for children, as it is too rich. In order to 
prepare it, as soon as popped, it should be turned into a tin pan, a 
lump of butter put in it, salt sprinkled over it, and the whole kept 
in agitation over the fire till the three ingredients are thoroughly 
incorporated. 

Of course, after the popping of the corn is all over, there will 
be games or some other entertainments, provided by the hostess, as 
this performance will not fill an entire evening. 




CHAPTER 11. 



CANDY PARTIES. 



HEN I say "candy party," I ought, really, to 
say ''French'' candy party, because it Is not 
the ordinary, old-fashioned "candy pull," for 
the making of taffies, etc., to which I refer, 
but a party for the making of French candies. 
To the inexperienced this sounds very formid- 
able ; but, it is in reality, a very simple affair. 
If they are properly made, they are decidedly 
superior to bought candies, for, in the first place, they are 
perfectly fresh, and, in the second place, one knows what is 
in them. And then, too — it is great fun to make them. 

The making of the paste is the part upon which the 
success depends, and while the directions are simple, they 
must be strictly adhered to. It is impossible to give any 
more definite recipe than one ^^^ to one pound of sugar, but 
of course the size of the eggs varies, and consequently when 
the ^^^ is very large, it will require a little more sugar 
than when of small or medium size. To get the paste "just right," can 
only be learned by experience. This, however, comes with making it 
once or twice. It is better to make it a little too soft than too stiff, 
as it hardens very quickly, as soon as it is allowed to dry. 
Now for the process. 

To each pound of sugar take the white of one ^g^ and an equal 
quantity of cold water. Beat the ^'gg and water together until well 
mixed ; then stir them into the sugar, which should be in a pretty large 
bowl, and add any flavor you may like — vanilla, orange or lemon. 
For orange or lemon flavor, it is much better to use the fruit than 
the extract. If orange is used, the water should be omitted, taking 
the same proportion of orange-juice instead. 

In making large quantities It is well to make up only two pounds 
at a time and vary the flavor. It is also more easily handled in this 




o 



26 QUEEN OF HOME. 



way, because in making six or eight pounds at once, the paste dries 
before it can be used. When it becomes too stiff to stir, take it out 
and knead it on a flat dish. This is where the experience comes 
in — to knead in just enough sugar to make it right and not get it 
too dry . 

In buying your sugar always get one pound more than the 
number of eggs you expect to use. This allows for the extra sugar 
to be kneaded in, in case the eggs are large. If you only want to 
try one pound for an experiment, pick out a small Qgg. 

For cream chocolates, roll the paste into balls about as large as 
shell-barks, and place on a plate so that they will not touch each 
other, and put them in a cool place. Make in plain round balls. 
Being soft when put upon the plates, the under side will flatten and 
make them the proper shape. If making two flavors, it is| well to 
make each a different shape, so that you may be able to distinguish 
them after they have been dipped. Instead of making round balls, 
make them a little long — like a roll of butter. You can also pat 
the paste out into a flat sheet, and cut into squares. They ought 
not to be more than three-quarters of an inch square. Varying the 
size, shape or color of your candies, whenever you can, will add 
very rnuch to the appearance of your boxes when you make them up. 

Buy the best Baker's chocolate, (be sure not to get sweet choc- 
olate, as you can do nothing with it), cut it down and put it in a bowl 
in a pan of boiling water or over the tea-kettle. By the time the 
chocolate is melted, the balls which you have put to dry will be ready 
to dip. Drop them in, one at a time, and roll them around. When 
they are covered, take them out by placing a fork tender them — do 
not stick them with the fork, holding a moment to drain — and put 
them on waxed paper, such as the grocers use to wrap butter in. 
You can buy the paper at any grocery store for a very small price. 
Do not put the chocolates on greased plates, as so many people will 
tell you to do. If you use the papers, when the chocolates are cool 
all you have to do, is to lift the papers up and shake them off. They 
will be perfectly firm and hard outside, and if your paste is not too 
dry, creamy and delicious inside. 

You will find the fruits more easily managed than any other 
part of the candy making. 

The dates are simply cut open on one side with a sharp knife, 
the stone removed, and a strip of the paste inserted in the opening. 
Then press the date together again, allowing the paste to show. 



ENTERTAINMENTS. 327 

Raisins are treated in the same manner, first taking out all the 
seeds. 

The figs are quartered and the paste applied, but there is 
nothing to remove. 

For the English walnuts, put a piece of paste between the two 
halves, press them together and smooth the side ; shell-barks the 
same ; but with black walnuts a little different method is required, on 
account of their irregularity. Take a small lump of the paste and 
cover it with pieces (size or shape is no object), letting the paste come 
through between. 

For the filberts, take a small piece of the paste — flatten it and 
put it in the palm of your hand, and place the filbert in the middle 
of it. Draw up the sides and roll it around until smooth. 

You will find the almond the most difficult nut to work with, but 
the task can be made much easier, if you will put the nuts in a 
colander and run water over them to take off the dust, and then let 
them drain, and use them while they are damp not wet. It is their 
excessive dryness which makes them hard to manage, because they 
absorb the moisture of the paste, which causes it to separate. 

In buying your sugar be sure to have it free from lumps. Ask 
for ''confectioners' sugar." (Some call it ''lozenge sugar.") It 
varies in price from ten to fifteen cents per pound, the price de- 
pending on the place of purchase, and not upon the quality. I have 
bought better sugar for ten cents at one place than that for which I 
paid fifteen cents at another. 

Let me also advise you to buy your nuts already cracked and 
shelled. It is much cheaper in the end, as you will waste a great 
deal more than the difference in the price, if you undertake to do 
them yourself, to say nothing of the labor and time it takes to 
prepare them. 

In all large cities there are stores which make a business of 
selling confectioners' supplies and you can find all these materials 
there, at very reasonable prices. But, if you are out of reach of 
such places, you can prepare them yourself, by cracking the nuts 
carefully and keeping them as whole as possible. 

After you get your candies made, you will say, "What shall I do 
with my scraps? It seems a pity to waste all this," for you will 
find sticking fast to your bowl a great deal of chocolate that you 
cannot use for the cream chocolates, and also a quantity of little fine 
pieces of all kinds of nuts which you cannot use for anything else. 



328 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



Chop these nuts very fine In a wooden bowl, put them into the 
chocolate bowl, and they will take up every bit of the chocolate that 
is left. Add to this a little sugar (scraps of the paste, if you have 
any left) and a little cinnamon ; roll out and cut into pieces about an 
inch long, and you have ''Jim Crows," which are quite an addition to 
your candy box. You will have to regulate the quantity of sugar and 
cinnamon by the amount of ''scraps" you have left; and if they seem 
too dry to work up, it will not hurt to add just a little water to them. 
Be sure to keep the chocolate hot all the time you are working with 
it, until you roll it out. It will harden as soon as it cools. 

If you want to make these candies for a fair, or charitable 
purpose of any kind, you can put them up in tissue paper packages 
(different colors) and make them look very pretty and attractive. 
Take a sheet of tissue paper, and crimp it as you would for making 
a lamp shade. After it has a crepy appearance, spread it out flat, 
and put into the centre of it, one-quarter of a pound of the candies. 
Then draw It up and twist it around at the top, turning over the four 
corners, or points which will look very much like the petals of a flag. 
When there are several colors together the effect is very pleasing. 




CHAPTER III. 




LAWN PARTIES. 



AWN PARTIES are confounded with the 
ordinary tennis, or croquet party, but they 
are, though a combination of both, a dis- 
tinctly separate entertainment. A tennis 
party meets distinctly and only by daylight, 
but a lawn party extends itself way along 
through the pleasant twilight, and even after 
the 

"Stars of the summer night, 
Far in yon azure height," 

light the scene, is the "sound of revelry'' kept up. 

There is no entertainment in the world that is 
prettier than a well-conducted lawn party. It can be 
made such a picturesque affair, that to even the beholder 
it is a "thing of beauty." Of course, the accessories of 
the parties will depend in a measure upon the means 
of the hostess, but it is of all entertainments (except, 
perhaps, a masquerade) a case where ingenuity will take the place 
of money. In the first place, a lawn party should never be attempted 
by anyone wko has no lawn. Do not laugh. There are many 
people quite as ambitious in this direction as were the "Royal 
American Literary Association " in theirs. And many have attempted 
an entertainment of this kind in quarters so cramped that the whole 
performance was entertaining, more from the point of ludicrousness 
than from any other. 

Given a lawn, then, of comparative size, first in order, comes 
the invitations. These may either be formal or informal, according to 
the kind of entertainment and the number invited. If formal, the 
invitations should read very much as an invitation to any other party. 
It would be useless to give, in such a book as this, set forms, sizes 
of cards, or any other exact particulars in regard to invitations and 



330 



QUEEN OF HOME. 







\i -c^^ 






'W^Q, W%^'^^** ■ t 






^#,,.«^ 






C^.PII- 






QUEEN OF THE CUPIDS. 



ENTERTAINMENTS. 331 

kindred matters, as they change yearly, and even oftener. Any 
stationer to whom you apply for the necessary material, can always 
inform you of ''the latest and most approved style," which will be a 
method by far more sure than that of depending on a book even 
one year old. But in making a choice from these, it is always better 
to select the plaiitest as being the most truly elegant. I only en- 
deavor, in this volume, to give such hints and information as are 
good, if not "for all time," at least for many years. 

Second in question, comes the dress. Much beauty is added to 
the scene, if the garb for the occasion is what is known as "fancy- 
dress." The light costumes of midsummer are very pretty, but 
" fancy-dress " is prettier. When the hostess has decided this point, 
she should distinctly so state in her invitation. With the present 
cheapness and rich effects of cretonnes and silesias, the costumes 
need not be in any way expensive. Or, perhaps, even a last year's 
gay-figured lawn on a pale blue ground, may be artistically looped 
over a petticoat of pink silesia. This, with a little sister's broad hat 
trimmed with ingenuity (quite as much as with ribbons or flowers) 
will make an inexpensive "Bo-Peep" or "Dolly Varden" costume, not 
to be despised. This is a day of well-regulated shams, and as they 
are openly practiced and thoroughly understood by all concerned, no 
one is deceived, and practically they are not shams. We work very 
much for effect in these days; so when you find a pretty piece of 
silesia or satine, that looks like silk, buy it by all means, and rejoice 
that you have the effect of silk, at one-fifth the cost. It is a pretty 
idea to have the whole company attired in the dress of some par- 
ticular period, say, Marie Antoinette or Queen Elizabeth. 

Next in order we will consider the entertainments. These may 
consist of any outdoor games — croquet, tennis, grace-hoops, ring- 
toss and quoits are all in order for a lawn party. A platform may 
be erected for dancing in the evening, if considered desirable ; but 
at many lawn parties there is no dancing at all. To be at its very 
prettiest, the lawn and verandahs, or porches, should be artistically 
and fully decorated with Chinese lanterns of all styles. It is well, in 
using Chinese lanterns in this way, to erect artificial arches where 
you can, and to put the lanterns also in unexpected places. A lawn 
prettily and artistically decorated with lighted lanterns, looks almost 
like fairyland. They should be lighted as soon as there is the least 
dusk to give an excuse ; and someone should have them in charge, 
and see that they are renewed if there seems any danger of their 



332 QUEEN OF HOME. 

burning down. One very pretty accessory^ is a tent here and there, 
It adds much to the picturesqueness of the scene. 

Refreshments. The supper should, of course, be spread out- 
of-doors, and should be such a one as would be provided for an 
indoor party. No one is expected to sit at the table, though there 
should be plenty of chairs scattered all over the grounds. There 
should be, in some cool, shady corner, or, perhaps, in one of the 
tents mentioned above, a constant supply of cold, lemonade on hand, 
to which ever)^body may have access. There should be a waiter 
there, whose exclusive business should be, for the time being, to see 
that the guests are provided for in this respect. The beverage 
should be placed in a rustic vessel of some kind, if it is kept in the 
shady nook aforesaid. This is easily made by arranging an artificial 
mound, in which is sunk an artificial well, surrounded by vines and 
flowers. But do be careful to keep the bugs out of it. One of the 
greatest difficulties about picnic lemonade is that one never knows 
just what prize one is going to draw in the next glass. But that is 
because there is no one in particular to look after it. The w^aiter in 
attendance should keep an eagle eye on his charge, and let no 
catastrophe like this occur. 

The hostess should, of course, make it her business to see that 
every guest is provided with amusement, and that all are carefully 
looked after. As this would be difiicult for one person to accomplish, 
it would be well for her to ask one or two young people to assist her 
in entertaining. 




CHAPTER IV. 



MASQUERADES. 

^y^ AVE you ever attended a masquerade ? No ? 
Then you have missed a most enjoyable 
occasion, and one of the prettiest sights 
withal that one comes across in one's efforts 
for amusement. The lights, the flowers, the 
gay dresses, all go to make up a most 
charming scene. Here is Queen Elizabeth 
talking to a page ! There Napoleon dancing 
with Bo-Peep ! Across yonder — who is that ? 
Why, Old Mother Goose herself, and in her wake 
Simple Simon and Bobby Shafto who, 

'' Went to sea, 
Silver buckles on his knee." 

Prince and peasant, queen and page, Ethiopia 
and Europa, all meeting and mingling in one common 
throng ! All distinction of rank and brain forgotten ! 
To one who did not know what the scene meant, it 
would seem that the world had gone mad. 
There is a mistaken impression that a masquerade is an expen- 
sive kind of entertainment, but dressing for a masquerade can be 
made a matter of very small expense (as in the case of the garden 
party) providing the wearer have tact and ingenuity. Any costume 
suitable for a fancy-dress lawn party, is equally suitable for a mas- 
querade, but the reverse is not the case. So that the choice of 
costume in the latter case is very great, while in the former, it is quite 
limited. 

For the sake of the uninitiated, I will make a few suggestions and 
describe a few costumes later on, after giving some practical hints on 
the choice of appropriate subjects. 

Let me mention first, some of the impossibilities one sees some- 




oj4 



QUEEN OF HOME. 




A ORIENTAL HOME-QUEEN. 



ENTERTAINMENTS. 335 

times at such parties — a little, fair, dumpy individual, for instance as 
"Night;" again, a tall, angular woman who, with judicious treatment, 
might make a very fair "Night," posing as "Bo-Peep," etc., etc. I 
mention these two instances, and beg of you, if you contemplate 
attending a masquerade, to study your own capabilities. Everyone 
has some good points ! Make the most of these, and arrange a 
costume that is not only becoming but appropriate. 

Now for a description of a few of those most frequently adopted, 
though let me say right here, that there is always an added charm 
when the costume is entirely new and original in design. 

First in order, we will consider " Night." The person who wears 
this garb should be tall, dark, slender, queenly. The dress should be 
of trailing black, the material being a matter of no special consequence, 
though, of course, the heavier and more massive the folds, the more 
effective the garment. Over this should be thrown a thin black veil, 
containing from three to four yards of material. It should be sprinkled 
quite thickly with gilt paper stars, and should be arranged to fall 
gracefully from the crown of the head to the hem of the train, and 
should nearly envelop the figure. On the head, just above the brow, 
should be securely adjusted, a gilt crescent, from three to four inches 
long. 

For "Morning," the dress should be white, with silver stars, and 
fewer of them. The crescent should also be silver. If the wearer 
pleases, a few trailing flowers may be carried in the hand. But these 
must be well-made artificial ones, as the real ones fade so soon with 
handling, that they look much worse than none. And to carr^^ out 
the simile, they should all be buds, no full-blown flowers. 

The "Seasons," I need hardly describe, as each one can get up 
such a costume from her own imagination. I will add, however, that 
" Winter " is a 7^ole that can be taken by either sex, and that diamond 
dust can be procured of almost any druggist at a small cost. It 
adds very much to the beauty of the costume, by giving the appear- 
ance of glittering snow. Canton flannel and cotton wool will do the 
rest. Sleigh-bell bracelets and necklace make a very pretty addition 
to this costume. 

" Kris Kingle " is a good dress for men, but it requires no 
description. 

" Bo-Peep." Short skirt — bunched up over-skirt — low, square 
bodice, laced up in front — broad hat — slippers — shepherd's crook, tied 
with ribbon. The hair should be powdered and worn pompadour. 



336 



QUEEN OF HOME. 




ENTERTAINMENTS. ^^y 

(Item — if pompadour is unbecoming, do7i t try to be a " Bo-peep.") 
Wearer should carry a toy lamb. 

'' Mother Hubbard." Skirt just touching the ground — low-poin- 
ted bodice, with elbow sleeves, ruffled — muslin kerchief — long apron 
^close ruff — spectacles — mittens — cane — lace cap — high-heeled low 
shoes, with rosettes. A little white dog should accompany " Mother 
Hubbard." One on wheels, and of a size entirely disproportionate to 
" Mother Hubbard" herself, always creates a laugh, and adds to the 
merriment. " Mother Hubbard " is an excellent character for a well- 
grown boy. 

"Queen of Hearts." Any plain colored dress for foundation, 
decorated with hearts, from three to four inches in length. These 
should be made of gold or silver paper, unless the costume Is black 
velvet, and then they should be of scarlet cloth. 

"Queen of Spades," "Diamonds" or "Clubs" maybe arranged in 
the same way by substituting those instead of hearts. If the costume 
is of spades or clubs, it is more effective of red cloth, with black velvet 
clubs or spades, instead of the reverse, as spoken of above, in relation 
to hearts and diamonds. A gilt paper crown, decorated with hearts, 
etc., should adorn the wearer's head. 

One of the most ingenious and Inexpensive costumes ever worn 
at a masquerade was one made not very long ago to represent " The 
Press." Now, old newspapers cost absolutely nothing, and can be 
put together In as many different forms as dress material. One 
would imagine that a dress made of such material would tear easily, 
come apart and dlsgraqe the wearer, but if made carefully no such 
disaster need be feared. In the manufacture of this garment, use 
plenty of either box or side pleating and shirring, always remember- 
ing to crumple the paper between the hands before shirring it. 

Very pretty and attractive costumes can be made of French tissue 
paper of all colors. If this paper is drawn through the hands and 
creased and crumpled, as In making lamp shades, it presents very 
much the appearance of crepe. 

One of your best holds in preparing for a masquerade, if you 
are a novice, is to copy some foreign costume. This is very readily 
done by studying pictures representing inhabitants of different coun- 
tries. To aid you In this matter, there are published In this department 
many foreign costumes, both pretty and quaint. Remember, that in 
copying these, style and general effect are of much more importance 
than expensive material, and a good picture, a few yards of gay- 



33^ 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



fieured chintz or cretonne, a clear head, combined with thimble, scis- 
sors, cotton, needle 2.x\A per sever a7ice, will produce most astonishing 
and delightful results. 

Supposing that you do not care to go to even this trouble and 
expense, there is always left you the ordinary domino, which is. 
merely a chintz cloak, in fact, with a hood, and is used to envelop the 
whole fieure. 

If, however, you are invited to a masquerade, courtesy to your 
hostess demands that you make yourself as attractive an object 
as possible. Many plain dominos give the assembly a funereal 
appearance, very unsatisfactory to one who has striven to give a 
fancy-dress party. 

If wearing a plain domino,- an evening dress is worn beneath, 
while a fancy dress is generally worn all the evening. The domino is 
removed when the time for unmasking is announced. 

A few moments before that time arrives, all join in the ''Virginia 
Reel." At the point when each couple has had its turn and the gen- 
tlemen and ladies are again facing each other, a bell strikes and the 
masks are dropped, revealing to the astonished beholders sometimes 
surprises unlimited. 




CHAPTER V, 



ENTERTAINMENTS FOR CHARITY. 




^ ^H; ERIODICALLY, the church finds itself in debt, 
or there is an orphan fund to be increased, or 
some society needs rehef, or there is a big fire, 
or an infectious disease seizes the inhabitants 
of some town, and then there is a grand com- 
motion among the congregations of the various 
^t? churches, and grand schemes are discussed in 
regard to the raising of money for " Charity, 
sweet Charity." 

The young all put their heads together and try to 
see how much fun they can get out of it, while the older 
ones are intent upon the amount of money they can raise. 
And it generally results in two entertainments being 
given — one by a combination of the older and younger 
heads, and, later, one by the ''young folks " alone. The 
"old folks" have a lecture, or a reading, or a tea, but 
the younger ones are very apt to have a party of some 
kind. 

Two of the most popular kinds are " Lunch Parties " and " Neck- 
tie and Apron Parties." 

In case of a "Lunch Party," each young lady who expects to 
attend prepares the very best " lunch for two " of which she is capable. 
These lunches are all 'done up in neat packages of one size, and 
attractively tied with ribbon. In it is slipped the name of the pre- 
parer, written on a slip of paper. The young men of the congregation 
then buy these lunches at the stipulated price, "sight unseen," as the 
children say, and no young man is supposed to know whose lunch 
he is buying. You see the young ladies contribute their time and 
material, and the young men contribute the actual cash. When a 



340 



OUEEN OF HOME. 







ENTERTAINMENTS. 341 

young man opens his package and finds therein the name of the fair 
damsel who has put up this attractive meal for two, he is bound to 
seek her out, and for one hour pay to her those courtesies which he 
would have paid had he been her escort to the party. The method 
of entertaining the guests otherwise will depend much upon the 
denomination of the church, as the rules of some are more rigid than 
those of others. 

In the second case — the " Necktie and Apron Party " — the ladies 
make themselves dainty little aprons of various chintzes, being careful 
that no two are alike, lest very unpleasant complications should arise. 
Each "faire mayde" then proceeds to construct a necktie from a 
piece of the goods from which her apron has been cut. On the 
evening of the party, these are all put in a basket in an ante-room, 
and before any young man is allowed to enter the charmed precincts, 
he must select a necktie from the basket, put it on, and then seek 
the maker, she to regard him as her escort for a certain fixed time, 
or for all the evening, if the selection prove a happy hit. Young 
girls have been known to give a sly hint to a favored suitor in regard 
to the color of their apron. In any case, the young people manage 
to find much fun in all these things, and youth is the time for honest 
gayety. 

The cavillers will tell you that this is not charity, it is self- 
seeking ; that true charity would give work and money, and would 
not ask any reward of fun ; that just as much money could be raised 
by asking people outright for the money ; that they, themselves, 
will not give one cent towards getting up a concert, or tableaux, or 
an entertainment of any kind, but that they will head a subscription 
list. To such we say, " head the subscription list " by all means, but 
do not seek to interfere with others in their method of • work. 
This kind of thing (the entertainments, I mean,) gives many a one 
an opportunity to lend a hand and a heart to the work, when she 
could not possibly contribute money. Is money the only thing in this 
world? Our Lord Himself did not despise the widow's n^iite — will 
He look with less favor, then, on the girl who, having not even the 
mite to contribute, gives her voice instead ? 

Right here I feel constrained to say a few words on charity itself 
Our ideas of this, as on many other subjects, have grown warped and 
one-sided, and I cannot help feeling that it is in a great measure due to 
the excessive value placed on money. We are apt to think that our 
method of dealing out charity is the accepted method, without consid- 



342 QUEEN OF HOME. 

ering the ways and means of others. Do you not know that there is 
as much charity in permitting your poorer neighbor to do you a kind- 
ness, as there would be in any other favor on your part (for a favor it 
undoubtedly is). If it ever falls to your lot to serve others, remember 
that the day will come when it is the dearest wish of their hearts to 
pay off the debt, and if you are truly of a kindly nature, are truly 
charitable, you will accept the repayment gracefully. You will not 
only do this, but you will ask a favor when you can, feeling sure that 
it will be granted with an added kindliness, from the fact of your having 
asked it. Hearts have often been burdened and oppressed by a 
feeling of indebtedness, because they had been obliged to accept 
favors which they were not permitted to return. ''I am willing to 
do a favor for any one. I am full of the kindliest feelings for my 
fellow-creatures," announces some man or woman pompously, ''but 
I don't want any one to do anything for me. No favors for me, 
thank you. I couldn't stand being obliged to any one." O, be- 
nighted being ! You are daily obliged to all around you — you 
cannot help it. 

" The kindliest feeling ! " On what a pinnacle have you exalted 
yourself! You don't know the a, b, c of the alphabet of true kindli- 
ness. You are willing to receive everything and give nothing. Is it 
no pleasure to you to give and to do for others ? Now, you open your 
eyes in surprise ! Well, then, why not be willing to share this 
pleasure ? Why selfishly keep it all to yourself? And who shall 
say that the young girl who raises her voice in the choir, a veritable 
" Sweet Singer in Israel," is not doing as much for her country, her 
race, and her God, as is the self-sufficient business man, who puts a 
dollar into the collection for the heathen ? 

I fear that I have wandered into by-paths, so we will resume 
the question of entertainments, given for charity's sake. 

A writer has one great advantage. She can always assume that 
her readers agree with her, and proceed on that basis. There is no 
cold or disapproving glance, no murmur of dissatisfaction to greet 
the senses and distract, so I shall proceed just as if there was no 
dissenting voice among you, and all agree that such entertainments 
are a good thing. 

With many, the first on the carpet are "Tableaux." Now, tab- 
leaux are a very good thing, but a great deal of trouble (and often, 
expense) and, quite frequently, exceedingly unsatisfactory, because 
the performers are unable to keep still. 



ENTERTAINMENTS. 343 

If you are proposing to have tableaux nevertheless, spite of 
drawbacks, be sure of two things, or the whole affair will be voted a 
bore by the audience. The first requisite is that someone shall be 
in charge who has done the thing before and understands the busi- 
ness, and having the thing in charge, is permitted to conduct the 
affair without cavilling or gainsaying at the last moment. Many an 
entertainment of this kind has fallen flat, because affairs were in the 
hands of nobody in particular, and there was great lack of unity 
among the participants. 

The second requisite is plenty of material to fill up the pauses. 
Never, under any circumstances, attempt to make the tableaux alter- 
nate with something else. Effective tableaux require much time in 
their preparation, and the audience grows weary of waiting. The 
unalterable motto for all such performances should be, " Never weary 
your audience." 

One of the most effective tableau representations, is called 
a "Picture Gallery." As the main work of preparation can be 
done beforehand, this should really come first upon any pro- 
gramme, as it is a little awkward to erect the necessary wood-work 
afterwards. 

There should be made by a carpenter, a firm frame, as large 
as the stage or platform will permit. Over this should be stretched 
chintz of any desired color (a rich dark red being preferable). After 
this has been securely nailed in place, we have a wall on which to hang 
our pictures. Next in order come the frames. These should be of 
varied sizes, but none too small to admit at least one human head. 
They can probably be borrowed for the occasion, and should be of 
heavy gilt, so as to be most effective against the crimson wall. 
Having made an artistic arrangement with your frames, attach them 
to the chintz by means of tacks, closely placed. This done, cut out 
the chintz within the frame, and you have a space in which to place 
any picture you may desire. 

Next, about three feet back of this arrangement, hang a second 
curtain, black chintz, this time. This completely hides all lights and 
shades that might detract from the effect. 

You are now ready for the pictures themselves. These should 
be historical subjects, ordinarily. They should be representations 
of noted persons, renowned either in history, fiction or poetry, but 
on no account do you want any "domestic scenes" or anything 
of that nature, made up for the occasion. There wants to be but 



344 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



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THE MINUET. 



ENTERTAINMENTS. 345 

one figure in each frame, and that should be a striking one. Among 
the performers there are always some who, by a little manipulation, 
can be made to look like this or that noted personage, and those who 
do not possess those characteristics, should not allow unpleasant 
feelings, akin to jealousy, to enter their hearts. To make the thing 
a success the very best available material should be employed. 
Mary, Queen of Scots, Evangeline, Minnehaha, Napoleon, Washing- 
ton, Henry the Eighth, Marie Stuart, Queen Elizabeth — any or all of 
the personages of whom histor}^ has handed down to us a likeness, are 
proper subjects. 

There should then be selected as "demonstrator" one who 
would take the role well. He should describe the pictures, and give 
a little historical sketch of each, short, but to the point, and as tridy 
witty as it can be made. But poor wit would ruin the whole affair. 
So do not entrust this task to the "would-be-funny-man." 

One of these picture galleries, well conducted, is a truly beauti- 
ful and entertaining sight and well worth the time and labor spent on it. 
The posers, however, should be allowed to rest a few moments 
between whiles, not giving the whole historical lecture at one breath. 
Divide it into three sections, say, permitting the curtain to fall for 
two or three minutes at each interval. Remember that standing 
on barrels, or boxes, or any other precarious foothold that may have 
been provided for them, is not by any means an easy position 
for the posers, and they should not be kept in pose too long at 
one time. 

One of the ever new, ever old, and always interesting entertain- 
ments of this kind, is " Mrs. Jarley's Waxworks." This requires an 
exceptionally smart person as demonstrator, and she should be a good 
actress as well. Each "Mrs. Jarley " must, of course, create her 
own part, as it were, but she must not forget to maintain her role 
throughout. I have seen the quick, energetic Mrs. Jarley, and I have 
seen the drawling, rather lack-a-daisical Mrs. Jarley, and I really do 
not know which to admire most, so admirable were both. 

There are in addition to these "Mum Sociables," where each 
one is fined five cents for speaking before a certain time ; red, blue, 
pink and brown "teas," where all is in accordance with the color 
chosen ; Japanese teas, where all are arrayed in Japanese cos- 
tumes, and at which there is usually a table for the sale of articles 
from Japan, and finally the "Rainbow tea," where we find all the 
colors combined. 



46 



OUEEN OF HOME. 



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THE MINUET. 



ENTERTAINMENTS. 347 

The pretty feature of a rainbow tea is seven little girls dressed 
in the primary colors — red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and 
violet. Erected in the centre of the room is a tall pole, like a May 
pole. From the top of this pole depend seven long ribbons, also of 
the primary colors. At a signal, the little maids each take an end of 
the ribbon corresponding to her dress, and singing a little metrical 
song, they dance round the pole, three one way, four the other, thus 
weaving the colors round the pole in regular succession. 

A bevy of a dozen bright young girls and young men ought 
to be able to invent many ingenious and striking ways of entertaining 
people congregated for enjoyment. 

Finally, as a word of admonition, I would say, whatever you 
undertake to do in this way, use the very best talent available, 
"without fear or favor," and then do the very best you can. It is 
better to attempt less, and have it good, than to be ambitious beyond 
your abilities. 




THE LIBRARY. 



CHAPTER I. 



CONSIDERED AS A ROOM. 



IBLIOMANIACS will look with scorn upon the 
proposition to consider the room in any way, in 
connection with a true library — some averring, 
indeed, that if a man possess a dictionary, a 
copy of Shakspeare and a Bible, he possesses 
a complete library ; but we all know that there 
is every comfort in a well-appointed room, set 
apart for one's books and all kindred and ac- 
cessory articles. So, spite of the bibliomaniacs 
aforesaid, we will consider the room itself in detail. 

First, no matter what the wealth of the owner, to be 
truly luxurious, a library should convey the idea of cozi- 
ness. Libraries (considered as rooms) are in themselves 
frequently an education, and possess a personal influence, 
so to speak, upon those who occupy them. A light or 
frivolous mind will often be led to read, if the surroundings 
are tempting, when a bare room, wherein the walls are 
lined with books, would have merely a repellant effect, 
and the little that might be done, is lost. And even to 
those who study and read for pure delight in the thing itself, the 
subtle influence of pleasant surroundings is not to be denied. 

First, then, we will suppose it is a small room — not too small to 
admit of a "chosen few" friends, but too small to give any idea 




350 



OUEEN OF HOME. 




THE LIBRARY. 351 

short of coziness. It should have a bay-window, and if possible, this 
should have a pleasant outlook. If this is not practicable, then it 
ought to be of stained glass. There is nothing which imparts to a 
library a greater air of luxury (all things else being equal) than a 
parti-colored glass window. Heavy curtains, of course, and a hard- 
wood or painted floor, with rugs of different sizes, not forgetting the 
beautiful skins which are such accessories, not only to appearance, but 
to comfort. And the open fire-place ! Ah, the open fire-place ! How 
the heart warms and glows, how the mind expands, how the under- 
standing quickens under its revivifying, if not absolutely creative, 
influence ! O, by all means, an ope7i fire-place ! In front of the fire, 
one of the skin rugs, where the lazy or tired boy can throw himself to 
read, or ponder of something he has read, and learn his first lessons 
in imagination as he dreams of his favorite characters, and sees 
himself a "Sir Galahad" or a "Good King Arthur," and makes 
many resolutions for the future, for which, even if he never carries 
them out, his heart and brain are all the better for having but 
entertained them. 

And chairs — easy chairs, of course — covered in russet or crimson 
leather, and a wide, roomy lounge of the same. No bric-a-brac, nor 
any of the thousand and one little ornaments that are permissible in 
the other parts of the, house. All here must be solid. There may 
be bronzes and statues, or statuettes, by way of ornament, but no 
filigree. In the centre, a large table, on which are to be found the 
books, periodicals and papers of the day. On one side, or in a 
corner, but by all means, where the light falls well over the left 
shoulder, that all-important addition to a well-appointed library — the 
desk. And in, as well as on, that desk, should be everything that 
heart can wish for, in the way of writing materials, or accessories to pen 
and ink — stationery of all sizes — pens of various kinds for different 
purposes, from the tiny fine one to the ordinary stub — an ink-well, 
clean and full of good ink — a handy and reliable pen-wiper — pen- 
knife — plenty of lead-pencils, even adding red or blue ones, for 
special purposes — ink-eraser — blotters — blank visiting cards, of two 
or three sizes — a bottle filled with good liquid glue — ruler, (steel one, 
nicely graded, is the best), — paper-cutter — paper-weight — rubber — 
elastic bands of various sizes — ball of cord — wafers and sealing wax, 
with a tiny candle and a box of wax matches. 

Now all these appointments can be furnished in exact proportion 
to the needs and pocket of the owner of the desk, and although the 



oD 



=;2 



OUEEN OF HOME. 



BSiilSIBPl'ISWiFia; 



list, perhaps, seems a formidable one, they can all be provided at a 
comparatively small expense. You may have a pearl-handled, silver- 
tipped paper-cutter, but a plain 
one, turned from walnut, will be 
lliteft, found as useful, and at a mere 
nominal cost. You may have a 
'1 gold-mounted ink-well, but so 




you may find a pretty 
ittle atrocity in Japan 
ware for a quarter, that 
will do duty for all time, 
and which will not seem 
out of place on the most 
handsomely appointed 
desk. You may have 
rose-scented candles, or 
you may buy the pretty 



THE LIBRARY. 353 

little penny candles that are used for hanging on Christmas trees, 
which are quite as serviceable and lasting. A good ruler, however, is 
never a cheap article, as money goes, but it is a necessity for literary 
work. The ink should only be of a good black. Colored inks are con- 
sidered vulgar in this day ; though it would be well to have a small 
bottle of red ink, to make marginal notes — you see I am trying to 
provide for all emergencies. I speak of a variety of pens because, 
having guests, you should wish to offer them the courtesies of the 
desk in the library, just as you would the courtesies of the parlor or 
dining-room, and the habits of people vary widely in the use of the 
pen and the kind used. It is well, therefore, to have several kinds 
on hand, so that a guest may not be submitted to the discomfort 
of either asking for something you do not possess or of using 
something that is very awkward to herself. Of course, if a guest 
comes to make any length of stay, she will be of herself provided 
with these things, but a transient guest cannot carry them at all 
times. And as it is a question of very little trouble or expense, it is 
well to anticipate all wants, in a desk that must be, in a degree, 
public property. Into your own private desk, which you will 
probably keep in your own room, or perhaps under lock and key in 
another part of the library, I will not peer, nor even offer advice as 
to its proper appointments. 

. By this time I see your patience is a little tried, and you say, 
"O, yes! this is all well for people with money, but we have not 
even a room for all this, let alone any of the rest." No, I know that 
very many have not a room to devote to this purpose, and must 
combine bedroom and library, or library and sitting-room, in one. 
And many people, too, who daily have much writing to do, find 
themselves without even a desk, and are compelled to write here 
and there, as a vacant chair or the corner of a table may offer. 
There is no reason in the world why one's books should not be kept 
in the sitting-room — the living-voom — but do not keep them in the 
parlor or drawing-room, as though they were a thing apart from 
your every-day lives. A recess, shelved and curtained off, may form 
a well-stocked library in the true sense of the word, ffom which 
father, mother and all the babies, as they grow to years of under- 
standing, may draw sufficient mental sustenance to supply their 
needs, particularly if on the table may be found the newspapers and 
the better periodical literature of the day. 

And the desk ? Certainly there must be a desk of some kind 
23 



354 QUEEN OF HOME. 

in every house that makes any pretence whatever to mental acquire- 
ments, or that, indeed, even holds any correspondence with the 
outside world, or uses pens, ink and paper in any way. But it need 
not even be a bought desk, and its appointments may be of the 
simplest and most inexpensive kind. Shall I describe one that I can 
see now vQry plainly in my mind's eye, belonging to a woman who 
has done much clerical and literar)^ work ? The foundation is a 
square packing-box, which when turned over so as to lie on its side 
is just the right height for a desk. On the side which has now 
become the top, is laid a second top, four by two and a half feet. 
This is covered with sage-green felt, and round this top is attached, 
by brass-headed nails, a curtain. Of course, the arrangement stands 
open side out- In this space are placed four wooden boxes, one 
above the other, which serve as very convenient receptacles for 
manuscripts, letters, etc., and take the place of drawers. To be sure 
they vv^ould be rather more convenient if they were drawers, but they 
are highly appreciated as a convenience in their present incomplete 
form. These boxes, though occupying the full depth and height 
of the box, do not occupy its width, but leave room for the feet of 
the writer. As the second top extends nearly a foot over the edges 
of the box at each end, there is a space still for other things. In the 
left-hand space is another box used as a waste-paper receptacle ; in 
that on the right-hand is piled a quantity of large, square paper used 
for manuscript purposes, which is thus protected by the curtain, which 
falls to the ground, from dust and other mishaps. On top is a set 
of book shelves, which contain her books of reference. Her ink- 
well is a curiously shaped glass jar, which holds nearly a half-pint, 
but which, I strongly suspect, one day held sweetmeats or some 
other fancy condiment. Her penholders (and here is a hint you 
may heed) are made of rolled paper. There is nothing in the world 
in the way of a penholder that can exceed one made of rolled writing 
paper. It has even been averred that, owing to their lightness and 
elasticity, they will prevent "scribblers' paralysis," as it is commonly, 
called — a disease which sometimes ensues from long hours spent in 
the use of the pen. To make one of these very useful little articles, 
roll writing paper into a compact little roll, six inches long and from 
one-quarter to one-half inch in thickness, according to the con- 
venience of the user. It will probably be necessary to roll several 
before you get them "just right," because if a little too tight the pen 
cannot be inserted, and if a little too loose it will fall out (into the 



THE LIBRARY. 



355 



ink-well perhaps) as soon as you begin to use it. It is well to fit the 
pen once or twice while you are making the holder, and, having 
arranged it satisfactorily, and having gummed it carefully and 
thoroughly, lay it away to grow entirely dr)^ before using. These 
penholders can be made of all different colors, or covered with some 
desired color after they are made, and will form a pretty object 
among the desk appointments. You see, as I said before, expense 
is not necessary to comfort, for I dare say, that this lady of whom I 
write, is as contented and comfortable with her conveniences as if 
she had the best the land could afford. But I would say to you that, 
no matter what you can afford, while a gold-mounted penholder is 
pretty to look at, be sure to have some paper ones for use. 

Then, too, having the desk arranged to your convenience, 
satisfaction and circumstances, the next thing you need is a screen, 
at least four feet high and of three leaves. Behind this the writer 
can retire and be comparatively alone, or it can be placed so as to 
shut out part of the room and shut in the fire, making a cosy little 
corner for a lamp table and two or three readers. And, having 
done all this, you have done everything you can towards making 
your sitting-room combine the convenience and luxury of a library 
and living-room together. 




CHAPTER II. 



CONSIDERED AS BOOKS. 











ONSIDERED 2.s books, the library is a question 
subject to much compHcation of ideas, and fraught 
with complexity of opinion. 

"What to read and how to read," has been 
a question of most agitating controversy, and 
so strong has been the feeling in one direction 
or the other, at times, that the mere reader has 
been dazed and helpless from sheer multiplicity of coun- 
selors. 

" What shall my daughter read ? " is very frequently 
^^S^%> ^ question which "my daughter" decides for herself in 
l^wBl ^ manner very far from her best good. But the time, 
^j}^^ quantity and kind of reading are, in my estimation, so 
much questions of surrounding and circumstance, that 
it is almost impossible to give any fixed rule. 

Says Emerson in regard to the value of books, " If a 
book lives two years it is worth reading." I may not have quoted 
the words exactly, but the sentiment is the same. But is this rule 
a good one ? Many books have lived much longer than that, and yet 
have they been such that the world was the better or even the wiser 
for them ? And if the world is neirfier better nor wiser, are they 
worth reading? 

It is impossible to decide to-day, as I said before, for others, as 
to what they shall read, but it is safe to say that anything which 
causes one grand idea or imparts to the mind one good impulse, is 
not reading lost ; so when people say to me, " Do you believe in 
reading fiction? " I say decidedly, "Yes." There are those who will 
allow their children to read no fiction, and give them only biographies 
to take its place. But well-written fiction is an education in itself. 
In biographies, the writer, at best, can but tell us what the hero has 
done — the world often can tell us that — but of his motives, his heart, 



THE LIBRARY. 357 

his soul, we know nothing, absolutely nothing. We deal only with 
effect, the effect on nations perhaps, or perhaps only on individuals ; 
but of the "Why," we are utterly ignorant. We are too analytical 
as a race, in the present day, to be satisfied with bare fact, we want 
motive. Like "Helen's Babies," we are not satisfied that our watches 
shall tell the time of day, we "want to see the wheels go round." 
So the author creates his heroes and heroines ; he gives them action 
and words, and we not only see them act, but we know why they 
do it, and we are able to comprehend the result, and form from 
the cause and effects as evidenced to us by the action of some par- 
ticular character in fiction, such deductions as may be of infinite 
benefit to us in our own life. How often in reading a fictitious work 
are our own hearts laid bare and palpitating, in our own hands, for 
our own inspection ! How often do we see our own motives in such 
a selfish or heartless light, that for weeks we feel the impress of what 
we have read, and are better for it ! And that author who studies 
most closely human nature, and puts it on the paper as he sees it, 
that man is doing most for his race. It may not be in the form of 
fiction always, but nature, human nature, is the study most worthy 
of one's time. We do not find true human nature in all books of 
fiction, but in many we do, and those, by all means, let us read — 
the rest are dross and well to be forgotten. ,Who can read Mrs. 
Whitney's sweet stories of girl-life, "Faith Gartney's Girlhood," 
"A Summer in Leslie Goldthwaite's Life," "Janet Strong's Outings," 
' ' Sights and Insights ' ' — any or all of them, and not be ennobled ? Who 
can live with Miss Alcott's " Marches " through three volumes, " Little 
Women," "Little Men," and "Joe's Boys," and not be filled with 
higher impulses ? Who can read of the trials and triumphs of poor 
"Carmen" in "One Day's Weaving," or forlorn, self-reproached 
"Archie" in "Archie's Shadow" (both by Lynde Palmer), and not 
feel incited to renewed efforts for self-control ? I merely mention 
these as a few of the thousand and one beautiful and ennobling stories 
which, though written for youth, are as much worth the grandfather's 
time as of that of grandchildren. It has been a matter of regret to 
many that so much ephemeral literature floods the country, but this 
very ephemeral literature has its uses, and plays a most important 
part in our political economy. 

The time is not very remote when the avenues of learning were 
zealously guarded, and the acquirements of writers and teachers 
were practically inaccessible to all but the few whose ample means 



358 QUEEN OF HOME. 

opened the door uporr education, or whose native talent enabled them 
to persevere and triumph over all obstacles. In those days men 
devoted a life-time to literary pursuits, not that the outflowings might 
benefit their fellows, but from selfish love of the labor and the ambi- 
tion to shine therein as none before had done. Literary work was 
more patient and painstaking then than the ambitious genius of to-day 
would permit it to be, and the laborious method of the older time 
undoubtedly had a strengthening effect upon mental capacity and its 
achievements. 

A book written under such conditions must necessarily be a labor 
of years. The rigid research required in its inception, and the mere 
manual labor of writing and re-writing every carefully chosen word, 
tended to give the literature of half a century ago an unlimited per- 
manency. Then, he who wrote at all, wrote a book. Would-be 
authors might have a few brilliant ideas on a given subject, but a 
few ideas were not enough to fill a volume — often as they are made 
to do so now — and doubtless many able essays were lost to the world 
because the demand or the means for their publication were wanting. 

If this be the true system, we are making a great mistake in 
our generation. The tendency now, in connection with literature, is 
to absorb rather than to acquire education, and it is contended that 
that method of production which is best calculated to reach the 
masses promptly and continually, fulfils the true progressive idea. 
Now-a-days many a man, woman and child is educated without know- 
ing it, as it were. One may have neither time, money nor inclination 
to take up a solid book for thorough study, and at the same time 
find it literally impossible to read, even cursorily, a modern periodical, 
without gaining information on almost every subject that engages 
the immediate attention of mankind at large. 

Let us then have newspapers — dailies, weeklies, monthlies — peri- 
odicals and magazines of every description, for by them most surely 
is a practical literary education brought within the grasp of all. It is 
certainly a hopeful sign of the times that the old-established ' ' Readers ' ' 
have been set aside in the Boston schools, and current publications 
allowed to take their place. Such a change indicates healthy revolu- 
tion. Children have been too commonly taught mere reading without 
being made to comprehend its every-day usefulness. Within the last 
twenty years many a child of twelve, who was able to plod respectably 
through the dreary platitudes of a "Reader," could not read either 
intelligibly or intelligently, a paragraph of news in a daily paper. 



THE LIBRARY. 359 

It is believed by some that our intellectual super-activity is largely 
the effect of the ephemeral literature which floods our land. May it 
not rather be considered the cause? We are impatient, restless, 
eager ; prone to cultivate brain at the expense of brawn. The press 
is at once our stimulant and our satiety. In its wise conservation 
rests the foremost educational hope of the age. A civilization may 
follow this which will demand a return to slower methods of thought 
and expression, but to-day, we hasten toward the other extreme. 
And while those who would still fill up a life-time with study for 
study's sake, may do so without interruption, the wider and swifter 
avenues to learning are open freely to all. 

Still convinced that human nature is, of all things, the most 
important study in which human nature can be engaged, I would see 
in all libraries, however small, the works of such men as Dr. Holmes, 
Dr. Holland and Donald G. Mitchell ("Ik Marvel"). 

How entirely different in type, yet how complementary in color 
and effect are the writings of the first from those of the other two. 
What an Infinite depth of tenderness, what a world of sympathetic 
pity are revealed to us in Mitchell's "Reveries of a Bachelor," and 
Holland's "Arthur Bonnicastle ! " What a strength and help in 
Holland's " Plain Talks." 

Holmes sees human nature just as clearly, but in an entirely 
different light. He holds her pulse, as it were, under his firm finger, 
and as he notes each heart-throb, he coolly records the result of his 
analytical investigation, with a pen dipped in caustic. She sees her 
reflection in the mirror he makes for her, and is filled with mortifica- 
tion as she notes all her faults, her foibles and her petty meannesses 
laid bare. He shows her the disease, yet offers her no remedy; but 
she turns to the strong, tender words of a Mitchell or a Holland, and 
is saved from despair. 

If you have, or expect to have, a profession of any kind, any 
study or reading that bears in the remotest way upon it, is the course 
most to your advantage. If, however, you study for mere study's 
sake, the course that you are to pursue must be decided by yourself 
But remember that whatever you undertake to do, do not attempt 
too much, nor undertake such studies as shall shut you away from 
the sympathies, and the duties, and cares you owe to your family and 
fellow-creatures. When this is done, study is made subservient to 
a very poor end. It is a question of purely selfish gratification, and 
that life that is lived for self alone, be it spent in study, work, or 



3 



6o QUEEN OF HOME. 



mere pleasure, is less than half lived. It is, indeed, mere existence, 
it is not living at all. 

All libraries, large or small, should contain a good English dic- 
tionary (which should be in constant use), a geography and atlas, 
a rhetoric, a ''Reader's Hand-book," by Brewer, (containing all the 
names noted in fiction, with the names and descriptions of works of 
fiction as well,) and a '' Balch's Hand-book," which contains information 
on a thousand and one topics. These form a neucleus, around which 
a library may be built by degrees, adding a book of poetry here, a 
good novel there, and anon two or three serious works. A library 
formed thus, gives the sincerest pleasure. Each book, as it is 
obtained, grows to have the characteristics of a personal friend, and 
from books that we buy in this way, after thought and deliberation 
as to whether we shall have this one or that one first, is the most 
real good extracted. They have a moral and intrinsic worth to us, 
individually, that they never could possess, had we been set down in 
a well-filled library, chosen for us by someone else. 

It is well to read some one work of all reputable authors, that 
we may, in a degree, be familiar with their style, but in case we con- 
clude to read them all, it is not well to do so in succession. As from 
a continued physical diet in one direction, the stomach ceases to act 
properly, so continued reading of one author, by becoming too familiar, 
ceases to digest thoroughly. It is only in variety of diet that mental 
vigor is secured. Ruskin, Addison, Pope, Coleridge, Holland, Holmes, 
each in his turn, but never in succession two books by the same man. 
Do not understand me to prescribe a desultory, weak method of 
reading. I only say that the brain needs variety and rest. Rest 
does not always mean inaction, it means many times merely change 
of occupation. 

Many people, young girls the most notably, suddenly awake to 
a sense of something that makes them determine to "take up a 
course of reading," and forthwith they plunge into a ''prescribed 
course," and wander aimlessly and helplessly through a maze of rea- 
soning and volumes of statistics that would prove wearisome and 
depressing to a much heavier and better prepared mind. Is it any 
wonder that they become disgusted and fly to the other extreme of 
the wildest and lightest of fictional works? "Milk for babes," and 
the mind of the ordinary school girl, even if she finds herself awaken- 
ing to a sense of her mental needs, is no more fit for a diet of Hux- 
ley or Darwin, than is the infant body fit for a diet of meat. If she 



THE LIBRARY. 361 

has no one to advise, and is blindly groping on for that which shall be 
to her own best good, let her read first the best periodicals of the day. 
They are of such a character that, while vigorous and strengthening, 
they are so constructed that any mind of average intelligence may 
understand and be benefited. From these, following the bent of the 
interests excited by this course, she will be enabled to go more deeply 
into metaphysics and science. But do not let her fall into the practice 
of reading certain deep works ''because everyone else does," when 
her brain is neither fitted to receive or digest them. The pretentions 
to culture so prevalent in the present day, may well be a subject of 
derision among the truly cultured. When a woman prattles of science 
in a way which clearly demonstrates that her ideas of the difference 
between protoplasms and a bacteria are very hazy, then she certainly 
lays herself open to very just ridicule. As '' nature abhors a vacuum," 
so true science abhors pretence and hollow shams. 

There may be but little time for mental culture, but let that little 
be true. The best plan for those young girls who are filled with a 
desire for solid mental attainments, and are ignorant as to the method, 
is to apply to a former teacher, who will always gladly arrange and 
plan for a course of reading according to what she best understands 
to be the needs of her pupil. 

Frequently a '' starting point " is the stumbling block. Now, 
there is one method that is so simple that I almost hesitate to propose 
it, and yet I feel sure that the benefit would be incalculable to those 
concerned. This is simply to read some paragraph of a periodical 
of some kind, and then dissect and analyze it to its minutest point — 
the derivation of the words, the construction of the sentences, the 
habits and manners of the countries which are spoken of directly or 
indirectly — anything and everything that can be found out in any 
way. The manner in which these inquiries will ramify — the questions 
that will arise — the necessity for research in all quarters — the new 
interests that will be evolved — the diversity of information obtained — 
will be something beyond compute, if this system be but faithfully 
adhered to. There was published, not long ago, in instance of this, 
a little story in the St. Nicholas. The aunt of the two children had 
them dissect a simple address. "Mrs. Nathan Holbrook," we will 
say, "No. 42 Balfour St., New York City." "Mrs." was taken first, 
and its derivation in and contraction from "Mistress" discussed, as 
well as the period at which this change took place. Then the reason 
for the woman taking the man's name, with the law upon the subject, 



l62 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



as well as the meaning of the old-fashioned Bible name. Again the 
date at which it became the custom for men to have two names instead 
of one, etc. Next came " No." and its contraction from the Latin 
numero, etc., and so on through the whole address. You can see, 
without further demonstration, the amount of unexpected informa- 
tion and research that would be evolved from carefully pursued inves- 
tigation. This little sketch was called, I think, "What's in a name." 
As all studies are pleasanter when pursued in company than 
alone, it is well for two young girls to take up together whatever 
course they may conclude to pursue. It is likewise one of the best 
ideas that some evening in the week, or some time in each evening, 
be set apart for reading aloud in the family, during which period 
the children should be encouraged to the freest expression of thought 
and opinion. The crude ideas formed by what they hear, are, in this 
way, capable of modification in the beginning, and the children are 
led to a deeper reasoning and sounder judgment than could possibly 
have been the case had their conclusions been left to crystallize, as 
first drawn by themselves. 




CHAPTER III. 



PEN, INK AND PAPER. 




"NDER this comprehensive head let us consider 
all possible points pertaining to correspondence 
of any description, or clerical work of any 
kind, as it falls to the lot of woman in ordinary. 
I refer now not to the woman who earns a liveli- 
hood by her pen, in one way or another, but to 
the "Queen," who finds no necessity of going 
outside of her own home for employment. 
In her girlhood's days, she probably had correspond- 
ents of both sexes to whom she wrote with more or less 
regularity, effusion, wisdom or silliness. Whatever may 
have been the case, it is a great mistake for a woman to 
permit natural disinclination to the effort, or surrounding 
circumstances, to interfere with her retaining, at least, one 
of the correspondents of her girlhood. It keeps her en 
rapport with by-gone times, and, softened and chastened, 
and cultivated by experience and years, the correspon- 
dence develops into something more than merely ''writing 
letters." 
" I hate to write a letter, I cannot write a good one ! " Perhaps 
that is because your ideas of a good letter are, to a degree, incorrect. 
The time has gone by when, in two or three pages of high-sounding 
address (which did not mean half as much nor was half as dignified 
as the plain "My dear friend" of to-day), we are informed of the 
simplest facts which are now condensed into, say a half page. 
Letters, though of various kinds, are intended as a vehicle for 
information, and while we should, of course, endeaver to express 
our meaning as well as possible, do not let us fall out of the habit 
of communicating our thoughts to our "chosen few," because we 
have grown conscious that with disuse, we are becoming unrheto- 



364 QUEEN OF HOME. 

rical. Let a letter, a friendly letter I mean, be a part of yourself. 
Let the receiver see the writer, between the lines. Let a friendly- 
letter, of all things, be characteristic. Write as if you were talking, 
and you cannot fail to amuse and interest. The letter of which we can 
say, "Isn't that just like her!" is the letter we prize most highly. 
As a young man once said laughingly, speaking of a letter he had 
received, " Why, if I was deaf, and dumb, and blind, and was in Mam- 
moth Cave, with my hands tied behind me, I'd know who wrote that 
letter, even if it had no signature. She writes the most absolutely 
readable letters I ever saw." "Readable letters" — that is the key- 
note. Let your friendly correspondence be readable and well-spelled. 
The ability to write a well-spelled, well-expressed readable letter is, I 
fear, an accomplishment that is dying out. 

Letters of condolence and congratulation come next in order. 
Of all things a letter of condolence should come from the heart — if 
this be not the case, it is better left unwritten. A letter of condo- 
lence, written by one who has no real interest in the subject, is but 
an intrusion at a time of sacred solitude. When the sympathy is 
real and heartfelt, the writer will need no prompting of expression. 

And congratulations? Doubtless my views on this subject will 
be considered ultra, but they are at least sincere. 

Can anyone tell me who invented the system of congratulating 
everybody for everything? Whoever he was (I say " he " advisedly, 
because I cannot imagine such an absurd custom emanating from a 
woman's brain), he deserves to be — -congratulated. 

People deal in congratulations wholesale, sowing them broadcast, 
without troubling themselves to think whether they may be agreeable 
to the recipient or the reverse. On the other hand, there are a few 
souls remaining in this world to whom it is a pain rather than pleasure 
to have their most private and sacred feelings made the subject of 
public comment and of what are conventionally termed, "congratula- 
tions." But when one of the "over-sensitive" makes up her mind to 
accept an offer of marriage, and, declining to stand upon the house- 
top to announce it to the curious public, prefers to keep the informa- 
tion for the few with whom she holds intimate relationship, she is 
considered an oddity, an abnormal creature. According to the popular 
doctrine, on accepting the young man of her choice, she should imme- 
diately run out and tell everybody, and thereupon should follow a 
round of congratulations. For what ? For having, as nearly as one 
can make out, landed the fish for which she had been unsuccessfully 



THE LIBRARY. 365 

angling for some time. Rather a bald way to put it ; but it is impos- 
sible to see it in any other light. 

Good wishes are one thing, congratulations are another. We 
have a friend starting on a new enterprise in a new country. We 
wish him well, but do we congratulate him upon being about to 
break off his old associations, to leave behind him all his landmarks? 
For what have we to congratulate him while his path is still untried ? 
We can only congratulate for a success achieved. Is it, then, an 
achievement when a young lady receives a proposal of marriage ? 

In regard to congratulating parents upon the engagement or 
marriage of a child, the whole ground seems to be covered by one 
lady, who, having been the subject of some such congratulations, 
replied with calm-eyed surprise, ''Congratulate me? Upon what? 
That I shall soon lose my daughter? I do not consider it a subject 
for congratulation." 

Pleased as a parent may be and must be to see a child happy, 
the parting must necessarily be accompanied by much that is bitter. 
Is it pleasant to see the child for whom one has toiled and striven 
from babyhood up, desert the parent nest and start out in life with 
an alien just as soon as he or she has sufficiently matured to be really 
companionable ? 

And to receive congratulations — congratulations gotten up after 
a set form, at that, must be anything but pleasant at a time when 
the heart is divided between pleasure for the child and desolation 
for the parent; unless, indeed, the approaching marriage be one of 
congratulation — one in which the parents feel that lynx-eyed watch- 
fulness and steady manoeuvre have brought to their toils the bird 
they have used every effort to snare. Then, indeed, are letters of 
congratulation in order. 

Still, fashion sanctions the custom of congratulatory letters, and 
it is better to comply when it seems to be expected or when the 
reverse would seem discourteous. When " congratulating " another 
upon her prospective happiness, make your letter more one of 
felicitation and good wishes, however, than of congratulation, and 
let it be as hearty as the case will permit. Use only the best note 
paper in such cases. Cards are not permissible. The acceptance 
or regrets in relation to an invitation should also be written only upon 
paper, no matter in what form the invitation has been received. 

In replying to a note, no matter what the mode of expression, 
the answer should preserve the same mode. If receiving an invita- 



366 QUEEN OF HOME. 

tion or note written in the third person, reply in the same way. Meet 
cordiaUty with cordiahty, and formahty wdth formahty. 

If writing in the third person be sure to preserve that form all 
the way through. Do not write, ''Will Mrs. Simpson kindly give 
me the address, etc." The note should read, "Will Mrs. Simpson 
kindly give Mrs. Lathrop the address, etc ; " or, " Will Mrs. Simpson 
kindly give the address, etc., etc., and oblige Mrs. Lathrop." 

Next in order come business letters. Now, much as we would 
like to deny it, it is the cold, calm, bald truth, that the average 
woman who stays at home, as a business woman, is not a success. 
This is not the fault of brain, but of false education. It has always 
been easier for both, that the husband should attend to all such things, 
so that the wife goes on, perhaps, to old age, utterly ignorant of the 
simplest business forms. 

A few hints wnll, perhaps, not come amiss. First, bear in mind 
that when you write to a business man, he knows nothing about you, 
and you are to him only one in a thousand. If you have written to 
him but two days before, do not assume that he remembers what 
was in your letter, for he does nothing of the kind. He makes it 
his study to forget all about it (when once attended to) as promptly 
as possible in order to make room in his brain for the next one of the 
thousand. 

When writing to a business firm, if your letter is in reply to 
some communication from them, always enclose to them their com- 
munication, so that they may comprehend, at a glance, the whole 
business. They will recognize their own letter, and can tell at once who 
wrote it, and in five minutes can put the whole matter through the 
regular form, which in all business houses is necessary, to a systematic 
handling of their mail. First, at the top of your sheet address the 
firm so that there may be no mistake as to the persons for whom the 
letter is intended. Then state your business, clearly, and as briefly 
as the subject will permit, giving all necessary information in as few 
words as possible. I emphasize the word "necessary" advisedly, 
because it seems utterly impossible for many women to write a busi- 
ness letter without giving a detailed account of much that has no 
bearing whatever on the case. This fact has caused "a woman's 
business letter" to be a by-word and a reproach. 

Don't begin your letter with some such sentence as the follow- 
ing: "You remember that some six month's ago I addressed you 
upon a certain subject, but I have not yet heard what you intend to 



THE LIBRARY. 367 

do." They do 7iot ''remember" anything about you, you may rest 
assured of that. Tell them briefly again the subject matter of your 
letter six month's back. They can then refer to their files and will 
be able to give you a reply at an early date, if the business is such 
that they can. If they cannot, you will, at least, elicit a response to 
that effect. 

Don't write, 'T have received your letter, and it is satisfactory. 
Shall expect it soon." Expect what soon? Such a letter as this 
conveys no impression whatever in a business house. In all proba- 
bility, having written such a note as the last, your indignation will be 
aroused in a few weeks at the carelessness (?) of the firm with whom 
you are dealing, but you, and you alone, are to blame. A business 
man has no time to waste in guessing what his correspondent is 
talking about. 

Having stated your business, be sure to sign your name. You 
are indignant at such admonition ? Had you seen as many unsigned 
letters as I have, you would know that such admonition is not need- 
less. Next, give your town and state. Again, indignation on your 
part ? Again, I reply as before. One experience which fell to my 
lot was positively ludicrous. A lady sent a letter to me without 
state. As there were five states which contained a city by that name, 
I was under the necessity of addressing the five postmasters on the 
subject, before I could find out in whose delivery district the lady 
aforesaid was. When the circumstances of the trouble to which I 
had been put to find her, were laid before her, she coolly replied that 
it was a mere oversight on her part, and in her estimation a matter 
of no m^oment whatever. 

I would advise always in signing a business letter to put full 
address and date at the end, thus . 

''Mrs. Emily Snyder, 

25 Apple Street, 

Thorpe, 
3-1-89." Kansas. 

By this arrangement the whole matter of date and name is pre- 
sented to the eye of the business man at one glance. And, remem- 
ber, that anything that you can do to save the time and thought of a 
busy man or woman, is highly appreciated. 

If you have received a communication containing questions, all 
that is really necessary, is to write a brief " yes " or " no " after each 
question and return the communication. This is no breach of busi- 
ness etiquette, and is quite frequently done. Whatever you may be 



68 QUEEN OF HOME. 



to your friends and acquaintances, remember that to the business 
world you are your own personal self, and all documents, outside of 
letters, must be signed with your simple signature, without prefix of 
" Mrs." or " Miss." If, however, you are subscribing for a periodical 
or transacting any other business of like nature, sign the prefix 
''Miss" or *'Mrs.," but in parenthesis. Having this prefix, gives 
one method of distinguishing the writer from another by the same 
name. It is well, also, to sign the full name, as initials are not 
sufficiently distinctive. In "J. C. Snyder," for instance. ''J. C." 
may stand for ''John Clark," or "Joseph Gumming," or "Jeannette 
Cadriiore," and there may thus be three, with the initials "J. C. S." 
in the same family. 

If you are married, if you would have the least trouble in corres- 
ponding with strangers, use the same signature every time — don't sign 
yourself '' Mrs. James Billings " one day and '' Mrs. Mary Billings " 
the next, and still on the third day " M. Billings." They have no 
possible means of either guessing that you are the same party or of 
informing themselves to the contrary without going through an elabo- 
rate correspondence, to which you should not subject them. I am 
simply giving you all these points in order that you may be in position 
to receive the most prompt attention at the hands of any firm that 
it is in their power to bestow. By aiding them, you are helping 
yourself. 

Having finished your letter and carefully closed it, direct it 
plainly to the persons, number, street, town and state, to which it is 
destined. Then put the stamps on what would be the northeast 
corner, if your envelope were a map. Does it make any difference 
where you put the stamp ? Decidedly it does — to yourself more 
than others. The work by postal clerks is necessarily done with great 
rapidity. In order to facilitate their work, the letters are arranged 
in piles, so that they can be slipped along readily and the stamp 
quickly cancelled. If, when the postal clerk comes to your letter, 
he finds there is no stamp on the northeast corner, where it should 
be, he has no time to hunt it up in some other corner (or even on 
the back, perhaps, as is quite frequently the case) — he simply casts 
it aside as an unstamped envelope. After the mail is made up and 
off, he has more leisure to examine those that have been cast aside 
for insufficient postage, and finding your stamp in some out-of-the- 
way place, he cancels it, but you, by your own act, have lost the first 
mail by which the letter might have gone. This little piece of 



THE LIBRARY. 369 

information will show you how necessary it is to know and observe 
the ordinary forms which attain in the simpler business transactions. 

The following little article, published recently in Drake's Maga- 
zine, endeavors to expose the methods of the average woman. It is 
called "The Feminine Way," and while it is doubtless an exaggera- 
tion, contains more than the traditional "grain of truth." 

"I want to get a money order," she said, thrusting her head 
through the window intended for her face alone. 

"Make out an application, then," replied the clerk. "You'll 
find the blanks on the desk back of you." 

" What application ? I just want to send fifteen dollars to— — ." 

"Fill out the blank," interrupted the clerk, handing her one. 

"I — I — will you please fill it out for me?" 

"I can't. It's against the rules. You must fill it out yourself." 

"Oh dear me. I don't believe I can. What do you do first?" 

"Write the date." 

"Where?" 

"On the first hne." 

" There ? On that line ? " 

"Yes ; that's it." 

" Now, let me see, is this the tenth or the eleventh? " 

"The tenth." 

"I thought so, but I wasn't sure. What do I do now?'* 

"Write the amount to be sent." 

"It's fifteen dollars." 

"Well, write it on the next blank line." 

" There ? " 

"Yes." 

" How easy it is, after all ! Now what do I do ? " 

" Where is the money to be paid ? " 

"Oh, at Chicago." 

" Well, write ' Chicago ' after the words ' Payable at. ' '* 

" I — I — don't see any ' Payable.' " 

"There it is." 

"Oh, of course ; how perfectly ridiculous of me not to see it 
myself! Now what shall I put after ' State of ? ' " 

"Why, 'Illinois,' to be sure." 

"Of course! What a goose I am! Now, let me see, what 

comes next? " 

"To whom are you sending the money? " 
24 



370 QUEEN OF HOME. 

" Oh, to Mr. John Smythe ; that is, I'm really sending it to Mrs. 
Smythe, who is my sister ; but we thought it would be better to send 
it in his name and save her the trouble of going to the post-office, and 
of course he can give it to her, as the money's really for sister; but 
if it makes any difference, I suppose — " 

"It makes no difference at all." 

''I didn't see why it should, really, and I'm glad it don't, for 
sister isn't in good health, and she might not be able to go to the 
office herself, and " 

"Write Mr. Smythe's name and address on the line below." 

" His full name ? " 

*' Yes — there are so many Smythes." 

" ' Joseph N.' will do, won't it ? " 

"Yes, yes." 

"I can write it ' Joseph Newman Smythe ' if you prefer. New- 
man is his middle name." 

" 'Joseph N.' will do." 

"Oh, will it? I'm sure I don't see why it shouldn't. He's so 
well known, anyhow." 

" Now write your own name and address on the other lines as 
quickly as you can, please ; there are others waiting." 

It don't take her but about twenty minutes to do this, and ten 
more to ask if Smythe will have to be identified, and when he'll 
get the money, and how she'll know he got it, and if the post-office 
is responsible if the money is lost, and if a registered letter wouldn't 
have been as safe, and so on in a way that only helpless and suffering 
postal clerks know anything about." 

It is positively necessary that women should understand all such 
things, and what a pity it is that men neglect to make them a part 
of their daughter's education, and thus fail to put in their daughter's 
hands these weapons of defense with which to cope with the world, 
laying up for their children many a future annoyance that a little 
care might have prevented. 

One never knows, be her station what it may, to what a woman 
may come, and it behooves her to be armed at every point, even 
though she may never have any use for the knowledge. If she be 
so fortunate as to possess such means that her only part in life is 
that of a "Lady Bountiful," she should understand hard, dry, busi- 
ness facts and methods, not only that the distribution of her wealth 
may be conducted with business tact and judicious management, but 



THE LIBRARY. 371 

if she be alone in the world, it is well for her to know whether those 
who are attending to her affairs, are dealing fairly with her. Many 
a woman has ignorantly signed away property and money, for which 
mistake, there was afterwards no redress. 

" O yes ! " I hear scoffingly, " I presume you'd like my daughter 
to learn shoemaking, in case she should ever be without shoes and 
have no money to buy them." 

Well, since you mention it, I see no particular reason why any 
woman, not excepting your daughter even, should not learn to make 
shoes if it so please her. But this is not what I meant. I merely 
wanted to say that there are certain business forms and methods 
which obtain in all business, if well conducted, no matter what the 
trade or profession may be. 

Among these are bookkeeping or the keeping of ordinary 
accounts, in which no elaborate system of bookkeeping is involved ; 
drawing checks, drafts and promissory notes ; buying and sending 
money orders and postal notes ; drawing up agreements, etc. In 
short, every process that relates to the correct administration of 
financial affairs. And such things all women should know. You 
may think that the article previously quoted is a great exaggeration. 
To a degree — yes. But let me tell you that the number of women 
who buy a money order and then coolly retain it ("as a receipt," 
they say,) is beyond belief. How they imagine the people at the other 
end are to receive it is beyond me entirely. 

Did you ever travel any distance ? Did you ever watch many 
women buy their tickets and hear many of them ply the poor ticket 
agent with questions irrelevant and too numerous to mention ? I 
have, and I have seen those same women seize the long-suffering con- 
ductor every time he passed through the train to inquire if they must 
"get out at the next station," although he had already told them 
four separate and distinct times that their station would not be reached 
until certain other stops have been made. These are the women who 
would be likely to take part in a conversation just like that quoted 
from Drake's Magazine. 

On every printed form used in business transactions, there are 
certain printed directions. These are so worded that the average 
intelligence can comprehend their import and instructions. You have 
only to read them once or twice carefully and you will probably be 
mistress of the situation. If not, and there still is some doubt in your 
mind, inquire of someone in authority, but ask only such questions 



372 QUEEN OF HOME. 

as are necessary. Say, for instance, "And I am to sign my name 
here?" (indicating the spot.) Ninety-nine times in a hundred you 
will be right, and an affirmative is all that is necessary on the part of 
the official. If you have misunderstood, he will probably say, "No, 
here,'' and he will put down one to your credit as having tried to 
understand and having talked as little as possible.' 

Many persons use the expressions "sign a check" and "endorse 
a check" as interchangeable terms. This is by no means the fact. 
The person who signs a check is the one who holds the money in 
bank, and without this signature the check is worthless. The person 
who endorses a check is the one to whose order the check is drawn. 
If a check is made out "to bearer," no endorsement is necessary — 
it can be drawn by anyone who presents it. If, however, A makes 
out a check to "B or order," when B presents that check at bank 
he must turn it over and write his name across the back of it before 
he is entitled to the money. This signature should be placed about 
half way between the middle and what would be the left-hand end, 
were the check properly face up. A check should never be turned 
end for end when endorsing, as bank clerks arrange all these things 
very systematically, for the sake of celerity, and they must have them 
so endorsed that they can turn them rapidly under their fingers and 
not be obliged to hunt for the signature. All this to the uninitiated 
seems unnecessary, perhaps, nevertheless reflection will reveal the 
fact that none of these regulations are arbitrary, but that all are the 
result of profound study, as to the best method of accomplishing the 
greatest amount of work in the smallest space of time. 




CHAPTER IV. 



PREPARATION OF MANUSCRIPT. 




HERE seem to be just now so many persons 
seeking either fame or fortune ''at the point 
of the pen" (instead of the sword), and so 
many inquiries are made upon the subject of 
ways and means, that perhaps a few words 
would hot come amiss. 

First, as to paper. There is no particular 
size or kind necessary, but, for the convenience of 
compositors, ordinary note paper, about six by nine 
inches, is preferable to foolscap or any of the larger 
sizes, as being handled with greater ease. The 
writing of manuscript on large paper involves the 
necessity of its being cut by the compositor, so that 
it may be given out in sections to the various hands, 
and the type-setting thus facilitated. 

Second, pen-and-ink or pencil. Pen-and-ink is 
always preferable, as there is no possibility of its 
blurring or rubbing off. But clear pencil writing is by no means 
objectionable. Many writers of note use nothing but pencil. The 
quality of the wiating itself is of far more importance than the 
materials with which it is done. Whichever method is selected, let 
it be in "black and white," for it is very trying to the soul of an 
editor (to say nothing of his eyes) to be obliged to labor through a 
manuscript in purple, red or green ink (or pencil), upon a ground 
of yellow or any other brilliant and effective color, which the writer 
may elect to use. Make the copy as clear as lies in your power, not 
only in regard to chirography, but in regard to expression and 
spelling as well. 

Third, numbering the sheets. There is no special spot for 
placing the numbers of the pages, but it certainly is advisable to 



374 QUEEN OF HOME. 

number them carefully, and in pretty nearly the same position, as, in 
case the sheets should become displaced after falling into the editor's 
hands, there will be no difficulty in re-arranging them. Anything 
which saves one moment of time to the busy editor may be considered 
as to the advantage of the aspirant for literary honors. An editor 
may examine at once a manuscript sent by a renowned writer, even 
though the manuscript may be carelessly arranged, but if pressed 
with business, as most of them are, he will assuredly lay aside until 
he ''has more time," the paper of the "unknown" who sends to him 
an article ill-written, blurred, or in any other way difficult to deal 
with. 

Fourth, fastening the sheets together. This is optional — the 
only care to be observed being that they are so fastened as to 
turn readily. But, in any event, one may be pretty sure that the 
sheets will all be taken apart before examination, and returned 
to the writer in that condition, if returned at all. 

Fifth, regarding margin. There should be a margin of at least 
one inch at the left-hand side of the sheet, and on no account write 
on both sides of the paper. Editors positively refuse to examine a 
manuscript that is written on more than one side of the paper. 

Sixth, signing the name. This, which is, perhaps, one of the 
most important points in preparing articles for the press, is one 
which meets with the least consideration. In signing a fictitious 
name, or nam de plume, never omit to give the real name as well. 
Thus : 

BEAUTIFUL SNOW, 
By Daisy Jonquil. 

Mary L. Simpson, 

Box 45, Applethorpe, 

P. Q., Canada. 

It is well even to put the information twice, once at the beginning, 
once at the end. By this means the editor is relieved of all necessity 
and responsibility of guessing about the writer. If amateurs in 
authorship could for one moment realize the miseries they inflict 
by carelessness in this respect, they would certainly exercise more 
care. In many cases they blame the editor for not "forwarding the 
manuscript or its value," when perhaps the only clue to the writer is 
a name, evidently fictitious, without town or state. Whatever else 
you fail to put on your article, always put your name in full, your 
street number, town, state — in short everything necessary to identi- 
fication or correspondence. 



THE LIBRARY. 375 

The manuscript having been properly prepared, next comes 
proper sending. A manuscript should never be rolled, as many 
editors refuse to examine even a rolled manuscript, no matter how 
renowned the writer. It should not even be folded, if it be possible 
to avoid doing so, but should be enclosed flat in a stout wrapper 
of some kind, and be fully prepaid. For surety and certainty, it is 
always well to enclose in this package two things. First, a postal 
card or stamped envelope, fully self-addressed, to be mailed by the 
editor upon receipt of manuscript. Then the writer feels sure that 
his article has reached its destination, and he can afford to wait a 
little for a reply, without being annoyed by a haunting sense of 
anxiety. Second, an addressed, stamped envelope, for notice as to 
desirability of the article after examination. Stamps for return must 
not necessarily accompany the manuscript, but if desired again, if 
not accepted, the editor should be so notified when the article is sent, 
and stamps for return should be promptly forwarded upon notification 
of rejection. A pile of manuscripts awaiting "stamps for return," 
becomes a burden, and it is one from which an editor should be 
relieved as quickly as possible. An article must be of exceptional 
merit indeed, and only rejected for want of space, or some equally 
potent reason, to escape the waste-basket, if unaccompanied by 
stamps or a request to have it retained until sent for. 

As to "the prices set on any particular class of articles," they 
are as variable as the wind. Some periodicals pay per line, some 
per article, some per column, some per word, and writers fix their 
own value in the same irregular ways. Some editors insist on the 
writer setting the price, some set the price themselves. In the latter 
case the writer has always the liberty to refuse before the article is 
published. One periodical may pay twenty-five dollars for an article 
that another would not have for a gift. In literature, success in any 
particular line depends directly upon the laws of supply and demand, 
and it is therefore well to consider the market to which you must 
send your wares. Iron Age has no use for society articles — a 
purely society paper cares nothing for the latest wrinkle in bread- 
making. And now for the final question so often asked : 

" Do editors read over all articles sent in to them ? " 

" No — they do not, for there are many articles sent to periodicals, 
where the very name of the article is sufficient to condemn it as unsuit- 
able for that particular publication, (for reasons aforesaid,) though 
able in construction and grand in conception. 



376 QUEEN OF HOME. 

If a periodical which never pubHshes poetry under any circum- 
stances, receives several foolscap sheets on " Beautiful Spring — a 
Poem," naturally the editor of that same periodical does not even 
examine it. If stamps, name of writer, address, town and state 
accompany the manuscipt, it is probably returned ; if not, with equal 
promptness, it is consigned to the waste-basket, even in the face of 
the writer's pathetic little prelude. ''I know you never publish 
poetry, but I thought I would send you this. I like your paper very 
much, but I think it would be better if you would publish some poetry 
once in a while." 

Many articles, as entirely unsuited to their columns as those 
mentioned, are received daily by periodicals, meeting with the fate 
mentioned, but any manuscript that seems to have any bearing upon 
the interest an editor is trying to serve, is carefully examined with as 
much promptness as may be, whether the writer be "old" or " new," 
unless the matter for this particular magazine is already contracted 
for, two or three years" in advance, as is by no means unfrequently 
the case. 

Perhaps it would be a matter of interest to the aspirant for 
literary honors to know something about the practical making of 
books, so I quote here from Book News an article taken by them 
from the New York Stm. Reading this process, can we wonder at 
the marvelous cheapness of books in our day, the works of standard 
authors as well as those of lesser merit ? 

"A syndicate of publishers has perfected arrangements that are 
calculated practically to give a monopoly of the business of repro- 
ducing here European books. The names of the members of the 
syndicate are kept secret at present, but it is expected that they will 
soon be known by the stupendous surprises they propose to flash 
upon their business rivals. The syndicate has made a three years' 
contract with a company controlling a process for reproducing books 
for all that they can do in that time, and the company is fitting up an 
expensive plant for the carrying out of the work. It is asserted that 
fac-simile plates, ready for printing, could be profitably furnished as 
low as one cent a square inch. One of the company, Mr. Penfold, 
says: 'The amount of matter that a compositor would charge six 
dollars for setting, we can furnish, blocked and ready for the 
press, at a profit, for fifty cents.' In a general way the process is 
understood by many, but the especial features that make it valuable 
are secrets carefully guarded by the three gentlemen who constitute 



THE LIBRARY. 2>11 

the company. As* far as they are willing to make it known it is as 
follows : 

The instant that a book for reproduction is put into their 
hands it is ripped apart, -and its pages are put in fixed places before 
half a dozen cameras simultaneously operated. No time is lost in 
focusing, and the making of negatives of the pages is a matter of 
only a. few moments. Each negative is transferred to a transparent 
rubber film, which is stripped from the glass and used to print from, 
after which it is laid away, like a sheet of paper, and can be kept 
indefinitely. The printing is done upon heavy sheets of gelatine, 
from one-thirty-second to one-sixteenth of an inch thick, prepared 
with bichromate of potash and other chemicals. Ten pages are 
thus reproduced at once, upon each sheet of gelatine, and, as there 
is space on the roof for laying out, at once, forty of these sheets in 
their printing frames, one hour of sunshine will give four hundred 
pages printed on the gelatine. The portions of the gelatine upon 
which the light has not acted, are easily washed out with brushes and 
warm water, leaving the letters, pictures or other photographed 
images in bold relief, and only six or eight hours are required to dry 
the plates perfectly. The plates thus prepared are blocked to type 
height, and it is affirmed that as many as two hundred thousand clear 
impressions can be made from them if they are not touched by water 
nor subjected to excessive heat. Their relief is equal to that of 
ordinary type at least, and the outlines are sharp. Engravers are 
ready to carefully overlook and repair each plate, should a spot 
appear in which the printing has been defective, but so cheap is the 
work of reproduction that, if it is found that more than five minutes 
will be needed to make a plate perfect, it is simply tossed aside, and 
a new one is made in its stead. 

It is evident that important details are missing from this general 
recital of the process, but those are the secrets of the gentlemen who 
do the work, and their security against rivalry. Enough has been told 
to demonstrate how cheaply and rapidly the work can be done." 





DRESS. 

CHAPTER I. 



THE INFLUENCE OF DRESS. 

MONG the many topics of general interest 
there is none, perhaps, civil or political, which 
causes more conversation, in the long run, 
than does the subject of dress. Indeed, such 
gigantic proportions do these discussions at 
times assume, that they become questions of 
national interest, and assume a political sig- 
nificance not to be denied. As the cropping 
of the hair proclaimed a man a "Roundhead," just so 
does the removal of a Chinaman's cue proclaim him as 
no longer in sympathy with his own country. When 
Queen Victoria inexorably insisted that, in the court 
which surrounded the Princess Louise (Marchioness 
of Lome), only decollete dresses should be worn, she 
opened up a question which could not end just here. 
Unused to the rigors of our Canadian winters, and 
unable to combat her royal mother's dictum, there was nothing for 
the Princess Louise to do but to withdraw from Canada — a fact 
which, combined with other circumstances, certainly caused a variety 
of complications in the royal family. Eras of history have been 
traced, and even designated, by some peculiarity of dress at that 
particular period, and fashion of dress has long placed its imprint 
upon the manners and advancement of a nation. 

It is a fact beyond dispute, in my mind, that to the introduction 
of the overdress, as a garb for woman, are due many of the priv- 




c*^ 



38o 



QUEEN OF HOME. 




BRIDL (Jl OLD. 



DRESS. 381 

ileges which have been granted her in later years. It would be 
almost impossible to estimate the far-reaching influence of this 
article of wearing apparel. You laugh? Think a moment, and 
see if the argument presented is not a just one ! Years and years 
ago, when "Dunstable" bonnets were ''the fashion," every woman 
wore a Dunstable ; and the rest of her dress so accorded with that 
of every other woman of her acquaintance that, if their backs were 
turned, it was almost impossible to tell "which was which." In 
those days, each woman tried her very best to look like every other 
woman. Look at "The Bride of Olden Times !" Could anything 
be more alike than she and her bridesmaids? And just so was it in 
every particular of dress. 

Later along, new fashions were introduced, and every woman fol- 
lowed them, even in question of color! When leather color (or "cuir 
color," as it was called) came into vogue, it is safe to assert that nine 
hundred and ninety-nine, out of every thousand women in the United 
States, adopted this color, hideously unbecoming as it might be. 

Then the day of emancipation arrived — the day when over- 
dresses were introduced to the notice of the women of America. 
At first, the old tendency to bondage was very perceptible. Every 
woman looped her dress in precisely the same place, and in exactly 
the same way, as did all her neighbors. Then some bold spirit 
ventured to loop her dress on the left side, whereas everyone else 
was looping on the right. As there was no very calamitous result 
from such daring, others ventured to display a little originality. 
Then came the day when a still bolder spirit introduced combination 
of goods and colors in the construction of dresses, and the work 
of emancipation in this way, was complete. Bonnets were made in 
many shapes, to suit many styles of face. Hair was worn high or 
low, at the will of the wearer. Satin was combined with velvet, silk 
with cashmere ; and to-day a woman dresses as she pleases, without 
remark from the world, so long as she remains to a reasonable 
degree within the range of fashion, or perhaps I should say fashion^-. 
That she often lamentably fails in the effect, or that she entirely 
misjudges her own capacity in the line of beauty, is her misfortune. 
She holds the power in her hands to make herself as fascinating as 
the natural material will permit. 

Dress having become a question of individual taste, instead of 
one of comparative expense, women have discovered that they have 
minds of their own, and, grown accustomed to think for themselves 



382 QUEEN OF HOME. 

on this subject, they have gone further. They have investigated 
their mental anatomy, and have determined that they have not only 
tastes but ideas, and some of them very pronounced and decided 
ones at that. They have learned that to have an individuality is no 
crime, and they have likewise learned to exercise that individuality 
for their own good and for that of the nation. They are not only 
thinking more deeply themselves, but they are teaching their sons 
and their daughters to think also, and the destiny of the American man 
of the future will be greatly influenced by the overdress which has 
been introduced into the wardrobe of the American woman of to-day. 

Dress, apart from any foregoing argument, is a great factor in 
the world's economy, and among the axioms that parents have 
striven to impress upon the infant mind, the one that is pre-eminently 
irritating is, "Handsome is that handsome does." That it is to a 
degree true, is beyond question, but that it is absolutely true, as 
children are intended to believe it, is a matter admitting of very 
strong doubt. That a patient, pleasing spirit — a desire to please for 
the sake of principle, and not for the sake of attracting temporary 
admiration — does beautify the expression of the face until it takes 
on newer and lovelier curves, no one will deny. But one may do 
and effect all this, and not be handsome either ; lovable, certainly, but 
not handsome. 

"What ! is it not better to be lovable than handsome ?" Cer- 
tainly, my dear madam, better, far better, if one cannot be both ; but 
why not be both, if it lies in one's power? The most lady-like child 
in the world never was handsofne in a purple dress and blue hat, or 
in a dark blue hat by itself, if she was afflicted with a sallow com- 
plexion ; nor should she be taught to feel that even if draped in In- 
harmonious colors, she is a harmonious whole, providing her behavior 
is all it should be ; nor should she be allowed or taught to think 
that if her behavior is perfect no one will notice her appearance. 
Teach her to bear patiently an incongruous combination (if such a 
combination be unavoidable) just as you would teach her to bear 
any other affliction, but do not permit her to sustain such an injury 
(for injury it is, to a sensitive eye and mind) for one moment after it 
is avoidable. It is not true that it makes no difference. People will 
notice her dress, and she will become an eye-sore and source of annoy- 
ance to all who may be compelled by circumstances to look at her. 

Everyone has some good point or points, and it should be the 
duty of each one to make as much of that particular beauty as 



DRESS. 383 

possible ; to do otherwise is an insult to society at large. That 
many spend too much time upon themselves, and that a goodly 
portion of these only succeed in making themselves elaborately 
hideous, is no argument against the principle. Napoleon is recorded 
as having been first attracted towards Madame de Beauharnais by 
the pleasing effect produced in the contrasting colors of her drapery 
and that of a crimson chair upon which she was sitting. How often 
have we ourselves been personally attracted by the appearance of 
some man, woman or child, when we knew nothing of them at all — 
an attraction that led to a desire for nearer acquaintance — a desire 
which culminated in a life-long pleasant friendship. 

If a child have pretty, curling hair, do not plait it in tight braids 
on the plea that it is less trouble, or that you do not wish to en- 
courage vanity. The innocent pleasure that the child may take in 
her curls will be far less harmful in its effect upon her general 
character, than will be the chafing and fretting against the injustice. 
She is innately conscious of the fact and "Do not think so much 
about yourself," "Handsome is as handsome does," will not alter 
her opinion of herself ; indeed, it will only tend to increase the evil 
you are trying to guard against, by making her think about herself ; 
whereas, the chances are ten to one that if some little attention is 
paid to her personal appearance, she will be a better, because a 
more contented child. We all know the feeling of satisfaction, the 
content with all the world and its doings, that pervades every fibre 
of our being, when we look at that same world and ourselves in the 
glass, through the medium of an especially becoming bonnet, or a 
dress that we know to be well-fitting. 

Above all things, never permit a child to acquire the notion that 
he or she is possessed of a homeliness so hopeless that nothing can 
modify it but perfection of behavior. Perfection of behavior is 
unattainable, and the sense of defeat in having lost 07ie chance of 
being passably good-looking, by some lapse, is absolute torture to 
an over-sensitive mind. On the contrary, teach a child that everyo7ie 
has some good points in appearance, and that to note and make the 
most of these, without being vain of them, is not only a commendable 
thing but an absolute duty ; that the reverse is an insult to society at 
large, and that no woman has a moral right to neglect this gift from 
God, any more than she would have to neglect a talent for painting, 
music, or any of the thousand and one other things she is expected 
to cultivate if she has the slightest turn for them. 



CHAPTER 11. 



DRESS VERSUS COST MOURNING. 



ANY fallacies in regard to women obtain 
among men, but the one which they most 
fondly cherish at the present day, is that the 
dress of women, in these times, is extrava- 
gant and expensive beyond description, and 
that women spend all their time thinking 
about *' dress." That the fashions of to-day 
(to-day refers to the period covered by the 
last ten years) are extravagant, is not to be denied ; 
that they can be made expensive beyond limit is also 
a matter which admits of no denial, that they are 
necessarily so, is false ground for argument. 

There goes a saying to the effect that ''fashions 
are made for the wealthy," but the present fashions, 
of their very lavishness, paradoxical as it may sound, 
seem expressly designed for women of limited means. 
It is because, under existing modes, such good effects 
are possible at so small an expense, that non-thinking -(or, rather, 
non-discriminating, for it were cruel to accuse him of not thinking 
over a subject about which he has talked so much) man feels at once 
a vague sense of uneasiness when he sees, upon a female friend, a 
garb which he feels sure could not be so effective without an outlay 
upon her part, not warranted by the state of her finances. 

This is not willful misunderstanding — merely ignorance of the 
laws of cause and effect as applied to woman's dress. When, in 
summer time, a man is pleased with the effect of a soft, long dress, 
of creamy yellow-white, with belt and ribbons, or flowers, of color to 
light up the complexion, does he take in the very important detail 
that the dress material is unadulterated, unbleached muslin, at an 
expense of perhaps seven cents a yard, making the whole costume, 




DRESS. 385 

ribbons and all, possible at an expense of something less than two 
dollars ? Certainly not. The effect is good, and the method of 
production is to him a profound mystery. Indeed, it is an open 
question whether, being admitted into the secret, his respect for that 
particular costume would not go down many degrees. It is not that 
all women put, year by year, more money into their dress, but that 
they are learning from day to day, with all the methods of artistic 
culture going on around them, to do more easily, deftly, inexpensively, 
those things which were necessarily the work of a "professor" in 
days gone by. What fashion could be a greater boon to the "lim- 
ited" many, than the present system of combinations ? It is perfectly 
possible to make such a combination of silks, satins and velvets that 
it shall cost hundreds of dollars, but suppose a dress to have been 
worn and worn, and re-worn, as is often the case, till frequent darns 
and varied stains make it, as a whole, no longer presentable or even 
wearable? What does a woman do under these trying circumstances ? 
Throw it away (as a man does, because he can do no better) or give 
it to some less fortunate sister ? By no means ! She rips that thing 
up and examines it with the eye of an artist, and perception, sharp- 
ened by necessity, discovers just what it will do (for do S07nething 
it must) and then buys enough new material of a contrasting color 
to finish it out ; and finally evolves, at a small cost, a neat, tasteful 
costume which impresses some of her masculine relatives, as un- 
necessarily expensive, but through whose flimsy veil of pretention 
(if she be of the "false pride" kind, and ashamed of her economy) 
her female friends penetrate at a first glance, well knowing from 
experience, all the ins and outs of the shifts to which she has been 
put. Or perhaps she may own, or be the recipient of, two half-worn 
dresses, each totally inadequate in itself to form anything like a 
complete dress. A judicious combination (supposing them to be 
suitable), a badly-worn place arranged to come under the basque 
tails, an ingenious trimming here to cover a long rent, a line or two 
of embroidery there, to cover up some stains impossible to be elimi- 
nated in any other way, even by the most^ economical cutting, and 
lo ! she appears in a costume that, as a whole, is as stylish and 
fresh, and neat in effect as it is inexpensive. It is not fair to pre- 
sume, each time a woman appears in an unfamiliar rig, that she has 
on a totally new dress. 

All this may be done without "devoting all one's time and 
thought to the subject of dress." It is possible to-day for a woman 
25 



386 QUEEN OF HOME. 

to make ever}^thmg she wears (and many do it because they must, or 
go without) except her shoes ; and while one must sew, let taste 
come to the assistance of ingenuity. . Not in multiplicity of ruffles 
and manifold stitches does a "fashionable costume" consist (though 
there be many, of course, whose chief charm seems to consist of 
these), but in a certain exercise of individual taste w^hich is an 
intuition to most women, aided by the suggestions of the multi- 
tudinous prevailing modes. With this and the patterns, and the art 
education, and the cheap, pretty materials of the day, most any 
woman can make herself "look like other people" (surely a com- 
mendable ambition) at a comparatively small expenditure of time, 
money and labor. 

As for "spending their time thinking about dress," take an 
average family and the chances are ten to one that the women 
of that family will not spend half as much thought upon some 
egregious failure or shortcoming in their wardrobe as the men will 
upon some infinitesimal spot on a shirt front or an unexpected 
wrinkle in pantaloons that were intended to be skin tight. It seems 
possible, taking all these things into consideration, if one chose to 
devote one's time to it, to prove that, as a dresser, woman is no 
more extravagant in the use of time, thought and money than man, 
or, as this seems a not entirely fair conclusion (as a woman who 
makes her own clothes must spend more time upon it than a man 
who gives an order to others), it would be well to reduce the com- 
parison to thought and money. 

But there are other prices to be paid for clothes than that 
of actual money. A young girl who embroiders for herself a suit, 
at the expense of time and nerve and sight, pays a much higher 
price than she can afford. So it is with the question of underclothes, 
more especially the wedding outfits. Love of finery is a pardonable 
attribute of youth, and the woman's heart never grows so old that 
she does not appreciate and love "pretty things," even though the 
time goes by when she would sacrifice health and strength for them. 
But it is too often the case that, day after day, week after week, the 
prospective bride sits at her needle, puffing and ruffling, and em- 
broidering and stitching, for what ? Many times, in order that she 
may have a larger and handsomer trousseau than her neighbors. 
How much better it would be if she would spend some of this 
valuable time in going out in the open air and taking exercise — in 
drinking in health and good humor; so that she may not present to 



DRESS. . 2>^y 

her husband the tired, worn-out specimen of young-womanhood she 
has become, under the baneful regime she has prescribed for herself 
A lady once said to me, ''I never had any trousseau, nor do I mean 
that my daughters shall have." In reply to my comments on her 
rather heretical sentiments, she said, "My mother always said that 
she did not believe in any girl 'getting ready to be married.' She 
believed in our keeping up a good stock of clothes all the time. 
She said that a girl who was going to be married needed no more 
clothes than one who was going to remain single. She gave us a 
good stock, and we were expected to see that the stock was kept 
up. Consequently, when I was married I could have been married 
quite as readily in one week as in six. For I had literally nothing to 
provide except my wedding dress." What an excellent plan ! And 
was not the dear old lady right ? 

In buying muslins, always select one that you know% from 
experience, will wear all over alike. There are muslins which are 
very strong and heavy in the beginning, but which wear in slits. 
This is most annoying. One can calculate for wear, but one cannot 
calculate for slits in muslin, and very often, just when one thinks 
that the family sewing is done, lo ! the first garments are beginning 
to give out in the most unexpected manner. If you buy a muslin 
that grows thin all over, you can lay away the thin garments for 
summer time and prepare new ones for winter wear. But under no 
circumstances have a great stock ahead ; for muslin garments wear 
out, or "tender," as housewives say, far more in lying by than in 
being worn. Clothes should be only in such quantities that they can 
be worn all around, at least once in five or six weeks. 

Shoes are better for being "seasoned," as the shoemakers say. 
That is, ordinarily, when one buys shoes, they are newly made ; the 
leather is still "green," as they call it In the trade. Now, if those 
shoes are worn at once, they will only last about one-half the time 
that they would if they could lie by for three or four months. Six 
months or a year is none too long to keep shoes before wearing, 
though it is not possible for all of us to buy our clothes so long 
ahead and let them lie idle. But when it can be done, it Is great 
economy. 

Gloves do not improve with lying by, as they are liable to spot. 
Neither do silks improve with disuse ; they crack and go into slits. 

There is much said in derision of home dressmaking, on account 
of its lack of that certain indefinable something called "style." But 



o 



88 QUEEN OF HOME. 



''style" really consists mainly in a perfect fit of waist and sleeve, 
combined with exact hang in skirt. All these may be obtained by 
the home dressmaker, and when there are added, natural taste and a 
quick eye for effect, the dresses turned out by the family seamstress 
are equal to those made by dressmakers with a more prominent 
name. Do not be satisfied with anything less than a ''good fit." 
There are many ways of obtaining this, and it is worth what may 
seem an extravagant price at first. A good pattern — a reliable one 
— is like a "thing of beauty," it is a "joy forever." Do not attempt 
too much. This is another caution to be observed. There are 
many little tricks and intricacies that an experienced hand may 
accomplish with ease, that should never be attempted by the ama- 
teur. Let the first work be of the simplest kind ; as more confidence 
is gained, one elaboration may be added after another. Be neither 
too anxious nor too independent in regard to prevailing modes. 
There is no praise for an independence which manifests itself in an 
utter indifference to fashion. We have no right to mortify our 
friends by making ourselves conspicuous. 

Having procured a good fit of the waist, next will come 
adjusting the sleeves. This the home dressmaker can seldom do 
well for herself. Never be satisfied to adjust one sleeve by the 
other. Each should be fitted in place, and should be pinned and 
altered, and altered and pinned, until a satisfactory result is reached. 
A dress that might otherwise have been made by Worth or Redfern, 
is a failure if the fit of the sleeves is imperfect. Why may we not fit 
one sleeve by the other ? Because few human beings are so blessed 
as to be exactly alike on both sides. Naturally, to have a "good 
set" then, there must be certain modifications before the effect is the 
same. Remember that in dressmaking and millinery the effect is 
the great object. Therefore it is better to have a dress that dppears 
straight, yet in reality is an inch larger on one side than on the other, 
than one which is straight and appears crooked. In nearly everyone, 
one hip is a little higher, one shoulder a little larger, one side a little 
fuller than the other. And these peculiarities should be noted and 
looked after. If one hip is larger than the other, let the drapery 
fall with comparative plainness on the large side, while the fullness 
is mainly placed over the small hip. Select a pattern of dress in 
which this is possible, and be sure not to select a pattern which will 
fall so plain all around as to but accentuate the defect. Sometimes 
there will be a difference of, perhaps, three-fourths of an inch be- 



DRESS. 389 

tween the two sides of a neck. But this fact must be recognized 
and provided for. Very many of the difFicuhies arise from just this 
trouble and no other. The young girl who is making her own 
dresses, has never realized that she possesses these defects, and is 
almost in tears because the "hateful thing will not go right." A 
woman who dresses herself, must study her good points and her 
bad, and dress accordingly. If she be dumpy, a spot or a large 
plaid will only increase her dumpiness. A short, broad woman 
should invariably dress in stripes, or if in plain color, let that be 
black or dark, and let her dresses be made so as to fall as nearly in 
straight lines as possible. This will give her the appearance of 
greater height and slenderness. A tall woman, if not broad in 
proportion, can carry well the most pronounced patterns. The petite 
woman should wear only dainty little patterns, though she can carry 
off some daring atrocity with much better grace than can her broader 
sister. We are not obliged to look at ourselves, but to do less than 
our best, with the material for dress and the natural capabilities 
which Providence has given us, is to voluntarily make of ourselves 
a blot upon the landscape, and to offer a tacit insult to those who 
must look upon us. 

As a measure of economy, black is the best to wear, and no 
wardrobe should be considered complete without at least one good 
black dress. A well-made, black silk dress is a great boon. It is 
equally appropriate for a wedding or a funeral, and is quite good 
enough for "small and earlies," but do not make the mistake of 
thinking that a black silk dress is suitable for everything. There are 
many occasions on which you may be invited, when a black silk 
would not be sufficiently "dressy." It is much better to refuse such 
invitations than to suffer the mortification of being different from 
everyone else, as well as the misery of feeling that your hostess 
must feel the same way about it. Probably, being a true-hearted 
woman, your hostess feels nothing of the kind, though she cannot 
help noticing your unlikeness to everyone else. But we owe it to 
a hostess to dress in ordinary conformity to the demands of an 
occasion, precisely as a judge dons gown and wig as peculiar to his 
office. We never want to be "picked out" anywhere by peculiarities 
of dress. 

With all the improvements we fmd in the dress of both sexes, 
there is none more marked than in that of children. The short 
socks, and still shorter skirts, exposing the bare and purple knees 



390 QUEEN OF HOME. 

of the little ones to the rude blasts and cruel cold of winter, have 
been abandoned for the warm and comfortable dresses and woolen 
stockings of the present day; and probably at no period has the 
general dress of children been more sensible, and at the same time 
tasteful, than at the present day. They have individual fashions in 
conformity to their youth and requirements, and are no longer mere 
miniatures of their elders ; they are certainly to be congratulated 
upon the change. 

While speaking of particular garbs assumed for particular 
occasions, I cannot forbear to say a few words on the subject of 
"mourning" as it is used and abused. It is a subject of con- 
gratulation that physicians are making a protest against this custom 
as being unhealthful, and some day, perhaps, the heavy crepe veil, 
which breathes of poison, will no longer be used to keep a woman's 
face confined in a six by seven space of mephitic air. It has become 
mainly a badge of vanity, not of grief. The custom of wearing 
black at times of mourning has, no doubt, originated in the fact that 
on such occasions the heart and soul are so plunged in gloom that 
anything bright is more than distasteful — it jars on every nerve, and 
is but an added torture. As an outgrowth of sorrow, then, the 
wearing of what is commonly called "mourning" attains a dignity 
which is worthy of our highest respect and sympathy. The veil was 
originally intended to hide from the public gaze the quivering lip, 
the sad eye to which "the tears will unbidden start," and as such, 
was and is a great boon to sensitive women in the first shock of 
affliction. 

But when one sees the sable robes used as an instrument to 
convey to the public an inward sentiment of grief, a thing that 
should be too sacred to be paraded, then dignity is gone. One sees 
in a code of etiquette such sentences as these: "After six months 
the crepe veil may be thrown back, and a light net veil some six 
inches in length substituted." "A lady should wear the same 
mourning for her husband's relations that she does for her own." 
"Diamonds are admissible with mourning," etc. When one meets, 
daily, women in deep mourning — no, black would be the better 
word — with their veils thrown back and pinned to their bonnets 
gracefully, artistically and ornamentally, one is filled with a feeling 
akin to disgust. "Oh, I shall wear mourning for a long while," says 
one, "it is so becoming to me;" and she gives her veil an extra 
twitch on the right, and settles it over her left shoulder, well satisfied 



DRESS. 391 

with the effect. "When my husband died," says another (both 
cases quoted being from real Hfe), "I mourned very deeply. Why, 
my veil touched the he^n of my dress!' .Such mourners were better 
dressed in bright blue or pink. One can respect the over-sentiment 
of the widow who asked for black underclothes in which to attend 
her husband's funeral, even if she did marry again early, for at the 
time her grief was so real that it was despair. But of the widow 
who m,ourns till her veil reaches the hem, of her dress, there is little 
mention to be made. The less said the better. 

When the time comes to throw the veil back, the time has surely 
come to take it off. Its usefulness is gone, and to ornament our- 
selves in robes of grief seems ghoulish. A young lady, "being in 
mourning," as the phrase goes, may go to a party, but, being in 
mourning, she must wear a black dress ; nevertheless, in order to 
make her funereal garb and her gay surroundings a little more 
compatible, fashion graciously permits her — not to wear a gay 
ribbon — oh, dear, no ! That would never do ; but she may wear a 
scarlet flower. Being in mourning, too, she must not dance, but 
she may play cards at this same party, and have just as good a time 
as she knows how. Oh, consistency, where art thou ? 




CHAPTER III. 



GENERAL CARE OF THE PERSON. 




VERY one knows the necessity for bathing and 
general habits of cleanhness, so it will not be 
worth while to dwell upon that subject at all. 
But there are other questions which arise in 
regard to caring for the skin — the questions of 
cosmetics, unguents and powders. 

First, use no cosmetics, whatever, no 
"creams," nor "balms," nor ''lillies," nor 
Present to the world your face as the Lord 

In summer time 



"roses. 

made it and you have cared for it. 
when over-heated, powdering of the neck and arms 
with ordinary corn-starch is cooling and refreshing, but 
powder should never be used in any other way. As an 
adornment it is an "abomination of desolation," a "de- 
lusion and a snare." Some of what are termed "the 
loveliest French complexions" are never touched with a 
drop of water from one year's end to another ! What do you think 
of that? Cold cream, appHed at night, and "mopped off" with a 
soft linen towel in the morning ! This is all the owners know of the 
delights of washing their faces i Just fancy ! 

If there is any tendency to chapping of the face and hands, 
simple lanoline is the best thing to be found. Being a purely animal 
oil, and of the very finest quality, it more nearly "assimilates with the 
human skin than almost anything else of the kind. The face should 
be washed in the very hottest water just before going to bed, with 
no soap. This is a wonderful preservative of freshness of com- 
plexion. One authority on skin diseases asserts that nothing but 
the hands should ever wash the face — that no cloth should ever be 
permitted to touch it. A soft, large flannel cloth, however, dipped 



DRESS. 393 

in very hot water, is very grateful to the skin, and cleanses and 
softens, without roughening it. Another authority asserts that lan- 
oline, thoroughly rubbed into the skin at night, will, by assimilation- 
remove wrinkles. It is all absorbed by the morning, and the face 
ready for a good washing in hot water. 

But there is another and surer preventive of wrinkles, to which 
few of us, I fear, give the deserved amount of consideration — the 
preservation of an equable frame of mind. "What a pity," remarked 
Mrs. A. of Mrs. B., "that she will frown so at nothing. It is such 
an ugly habit. I met her this morning as she was walking in the 
sunshine, and she had her face all screwed up. There is no need 
of anyone frowning like that because of a little sunshine. A little 
self-control is all that is necessary. When Mrs. B. grows old, instead 
of having one of those lovely, smooth skins, her beautiful face will 
be all wrinkled. If people all knew enough to keep calm under the 
most trying circumstances, women's complexions would be preserved 
way on into old age. Every time anyone frowns she adds a new 
wrinkle somewhere, they say." 

Whether a "lovely, smooth complexion" is altogether a beauty 
in a fine-looking old lady, is an open question. A face unmarked 
by past emotion, unseamed by events — a face upon which the finger 
of experience has traced no lines, the chisel of deep thought has 
made no furrows, is deemed by many to be characterless, and, as 
such, unattractive. Be that as it may, it is not to be doubted that 
many of the ugly lines which really disfigure the face in old age, are 
entirely under the control of the possessor. The curve of scorn, 
the frown of impatience, become as deeply cut, as firmly set by 
frequent recurrence, as though nature had marked them with her 
finger in babyhood, or adverse fate had drawn them with the cruel 
pen of circumstance. The lines drawn by sadness and those marked 
by passion are two entirely different things. And so marked is this 
distinction, that the beholder in after years has no difficulty in 
deciding from which cause the lines have sprung. It behooves all, 
therefore, to keep the mind as nearly in equipoise as possible, if they 
would avoid making, unnecessarily, "a new wrinkle." 

After the care of the face comes the care of the hands. In this 
line there is much to be considered. There are many things you 
cannot afford to do with your hands, and no one should consider it 
anything more than a proper pride upon your part, to kindly refuse 
to do them. There are certain professions and callings wherein the 



394 QUEEN OF HOME. 

hands are brought much into play, and for the sake of advancement 
in those caUings and professions, you cannot afford to display a 
marred or stained pair of hands. For instance, a music-teacher 
cannot afford to stem strawberries or pare potatoes ; she should 
keep her hands presentable before that public which is her judge 
and censor. There is no special credit due to a young girl who 
"is not afraid of her hands," and dashes them into ashes without 
heed to appearance. It is our bounden duty to make the most of 
ourselves, and there is no false pride in a girl who does her hard 
work in a pair of gloves. The finger-nails should never be cut, but 
should be daily shaped with a nail file. They should, likewise, 
never be cleaned with anything sharp or metallic. A piece of 
match, or any other sliver of wood, is the best thing. One of 
those public abominations, a toothpick, is a good thing, if not too 
sharp. 

Next, let us consider the teeth. I shall not say much about 
daily cleaning; you have, probably, already heard many times about 
all that. But I would urge upon you general care — unremitting 
care and watchfulness. You will very often find poor teeth accom- 
panied by a poor complexion. This is a rather complex state of 
things, because the action of each upon the other is often reflex. 
Defective teeth may be either the result or the cause of indigestion. 
Improperly masticated food will produce indigestion, and indigestion 
from any cause, will affect not only the teeth, but the complexion. 
Imperfect assimilation of food produces a superabundance of acids, 
which seriously affects the condition of the teeth, if it does not result 
in their absolute destruction. The teeth should be well cared for by 
a competent dentist. In the economy of nature, as in that of house- 
holds, "a stitch in time saves nine," and a small filling, placed early, 
may save absolute loss of the molar. The tendency was, in years 
gone by, to immediately extract an aching tooth. To-day, we have 
learned to save. "What is the use, it does not show, way back 
there?" is the argument often used when a dentist objects to ex- 
tracting a troublesome tooth, preferring to build it up if possible, if 
only for a year or so. But every tooth extracted, deducts from the 
general contour of the face, and worse than this, brings more 
pressure to bear on those that are left. And, believe it or not, as 
you please, replacing one or two lost teeth, even if they be "very far 
back and do not show," will be almost as effective in arresting decay, 
as will the filling of those remaining. If a child's teeth are noticed 



DRESS. 395 

as coming in very irregularly, it is probably because the mouth is 
crowded. Dr. Edward A. Bogue, a prominent dentist, says that it 
is a well attested fact that the human jaw is at least three teeth 
shorter than it was originally, and that the shortening process is still 
going on, which accounts for so much over-crowding of the teeth. 
When this crowding is marked, a reliable dentist should be consulted 
as to the propriety of extracting four of the molars so as to give the 
rest room to spread. This is a necessity, as teeth which are crowded 
will decay much more quickly than those which are not ; the matter 
should be attended to between the ages of ten and sixteen ordinarily. 
A child should be sent to a dentist regularly for examination, at 
intervals of not longer than six months — more frequently, should the 
dentist himself consider it judicious. An adult should not make the 
intervals longer than a year. Do not wait to have the toothache 
before you have your teeth examined. If you have them examined 
with sufficient frequency, you may be mercifully preserved from that 
''fell destroyer" altogether. 

Next, let us take into consideration, the hair. First let me 
enter an earnest protest against either bleaching or dyeing it. If 
there is one thing that renders woman a painful object to look 
upon, a travesty upon nature, it is having her hair either bleached or 
dyed. I remember reading in an old-fashioned book on ''etiquette" 
a sentence something like the following: "When a lady finds that 
her hair is growing grey, she should wear a false front, of hair the 
color that her own was originally. Grey hair makes a woman's face 
masculine !" Fancy! Picture to yourselves some of the sweet-faced 
old ladies you know, with their soft, silvery hair, and then think of the 
amount of womanly dignity (?) that would be added to their faces, if 
their heads were covered with such an atrocity as a bright brown 
front ! No, the beauty of grey or w^hite hair has grown to be 
appreciated at its full value. The ones who now dye their hair are 
not the older women, who find theirs growing grey, but the younger 
ones, the color of whose hair does not suit them. But there is one 
thing you can depend upon, and that is that if Dame Nature knows 
anything at all, she most thoroughly understands matching hair and 
eyes with complexion and eyebrows. Do not tamper with her work. 
Nature is resentful of interference. Sometimes, when she finds us 
determined to have our own way, spite of her mandate, she quietly 
steps back, and allows us to steer our bark to suit ourselves, and 
when we finally find ourselves in danger of shipwreck and call upon 



396 QUEEN OF HOME. 

her to aid, she does not always extend that aid with a good grace. 
Indeed, she is sometimes very slow to accept our allegiance again. 
It is well, therefore, to keep on the right side of the much abu-sed 
dame, and to heed her mandate before her patience is entirely 
exhausted. 

Not long ago, some man propounded the theory that neuralgia, 
in women, was owing to the fact that they drew their hair up to the 
top of the head, and left the back of the neck exposed. Candidly 
considered, is the back of a woman's neck any more exposed by a 
high dressing of the hair, than is a man's neck by having his hair cut 
with the clippers all the winter round, as do hundreds of men ? Or, 
even theoretically, is neuralgia any more common now than it was in 
the days when women wore their hair low on the neck ? The hair 
should be worn to suit the contour of the face. A "Psyche-knot" is 
very much at variance with a long nose, as is high dressed hair w^ith 
a long, narrow face. At night the hair should be taken down and 
well brushed, but whether it should be left down, is a question for 
individual decision. If the hair is worn high, to take it down at 
night and leave it so, if the hair is light and fluffy in texture, would 
be to get it into a hopeless tangle, and so much hair would be 
literally "torn out by the roots" in the effort to readjust it in the 
morning, that the advantages of having had it down and free dur- 
ing the night, would be entirely over-balanced. Even if plaited, 
much difficulty would arise in again bringing it to the top of the 
head. 

Shall I say anything about tight lacing, I wonder ? What is the 
use ? Both the squeezed and the unsqueezed will unite in asserting 
that they "wear their clothes just as loose f' Well, perhaps ! I will 
not dispute the fact, but I will say that if your clothes are not com- 
fortably loose, you are ruining your complexions and making your 
hands red. You perceive I say nothing about the manner in which 
you are predisposing yourselves to serious complications of the heart 
and lungs. These things are ''m futiu^o'' and each foolish girl hopes 
to ward them off. But a bad complexion or red hands are an ever 
present distress which, like the spot on Lady Macbeth's hand, will 
not "out." I make no mention of the ill-health caused by tight 
lacing, because there is so much said daily upon the subject. But 
if, perhaps, a few may be tempted, through vanity, to do right in this 
respect, there will be a point gained. Remember, too, when you are 
lacing yourself "within an inch of your life," as the saying goes, that 



DRESS. 397 

It is said that a good figure demands only ten inches difference 
between the measure of the bust and that of the waist, and that 
"wasps" are no longer even "the fashion." 

Now, the care of the feet. Corns ? Well, yes ; it is an unfor- 
tunate fact that many of the human race are afflicted with these 
painful and undesirable appendages. But they do not always arise 
from tight shoes by any means. They are, however, always the 
result of ill-fitting ones, though some people are more predisposed 
to this kind of thing than others. A pair of shoes that is too large 
will produce corns quite as quickly, if no more so, than one which is 
too small, and a shoe that is too short will produce what are called 
"ingrowing nails," but which are in reality an irritation of the toe 
which causes the flesh to overgrow the nail. A shoe that is too 
narrow will produce distorted joints, while a shoe that is too wide 
will produce corns. You see the necessity of having your shoes like 
everything that belonged to the "middle-sized bear" — that is, "just 
right." And what is just right? Well, "just right" is in accordance 
with your foot. Very few people can wear a pointed shoe unless it 
is at least one size longer than the shoe they have been accustomed 
to wearing, simply because no human being's toes w^ere ever meant 
to be cramped into such a narrow space, nor is it possible in most 
cases to do so. The toe of the shoe is left vacant, and appearances 
are preserved, A high heel drives the foot forward, and for this 
reason, if one be worn, the shoe should not only be quite long for 
the w^earer, but it should be tight across the instep, so as to keep 
the foot well back. Wright, the well-known shoemaker of New York, 
who makes it his business to treat deformities of the foot (either 
contracted or natural) by means of a properly made shoe, claims 
that a shoe should always be tight across the instep and loose across 
the toe. 

In Spain, when a gentleman meets a lady who is unknown to 
him, he first looks at her feet; if those are pretty and well shod, he 
looks at her face. If her feet do not please him, her face is a matter 
of perfect indifference to him. This is a fact vouched for by the 
little Countess D'Anderez. "I do not understand your American 
women," she said to me once; "you think so much of your dress 
and your hair, and you do not care how ugly your shoes are. Great 
broad things ! A Spanish woman would consider herself disgraced 
to be seen in such shoes. We wear such pretty slippers and shoes 
in Spain, with such high heels. In my country, a woman's greatest 



398 QUEEN OF HOME. 

attraction is her foot." A pretty foot is a pretty sight, be it in Spain 
or America, but ideas vary on the subject of abstract beauty in this 
respect, as witness the Chinese foot. We Americans are a sensible 
race, and learning daily that the more nearly we approach to nature 
as God has decreed it, the more nearly we approximate true beauty, 
and to realize also that to tamper with and distort that which the 
Creator in His wisdom has created, is practically an irreverence 
for His handiwork. 

If your circumstances are such that a degree of economy is a 
necessity with you, let some of that economy be exercised upon the 
dress in which strangers see you. Do not reserve it all for home 
use. Nor do not let the time ever come when you feel that you are 
too far advanced in life to be careful of your dress. A middle-aged 
woman has just as much need to be prettily and becomingly dressed 
as has a young woman. Father and mother, why not dress for each 
other now, as you did in years gone by ? Mother, why not select a 
pretty pattern for your wrapper, instead of that hideous brown thing 
with the green sprig in it? Why not have a little bit of color in 
your bonnet? "It does not matter; anything is good enough now. 
Nobody looks at an old woman like me." O fie ! Suppose someone 
else should say that ! Does not father look at you ? And is not he 
as well worth pleasing now as when you married him ? Do not you 
suppose he takes pride in thinking what a fine looking old lady his 
wife is ? Why screw your hair up in that uncompromising little 
knot, when a deft turn or two would arrange it in pretty puffs, so 
becoming to you and so gratifying to those around you ? And 
father, why encase your naturally neat feet in those hideous old 
slippers, all down at the heel, when you have two more good pairs 
in the closet, just because the old ones go on so easy? I dare say 
they do; they apparently come off "so easy" too, that every step is 
a shuffle, and as you go up and down stairs an unmusical clip-clap ! 
clip-clap ! heralds your movements. Why not trim your beard neatly 
and make yourself generally presentable? If the time has gone by, 
father and mother, when you care to dress for each other, then dress 
for the sake of your children. It is a bad day for a mother when her 
son contrasts her appearance with that of "the other boys' mothers ;" 
it is a bad day for the father when the daughter looks upon his care- 
less dress with a sense of mortification. 

And, O daughter, beware of the time when you shall permit 
yourself to go around in curl-papers and crimping-pins ! In old age. 



DRESS. 



399 



carelessness of dress may be in a degree condoned (and yet at no 
time of life are neatness and care more needed) but in the young 
it is unpardonable. And of all forms of carelessness, the curl-paper 
and crimping-pin is the worst. A tear, a missing button, a spot 
of grease, may any or all of them be the result of accident, but a 
curl-paper or a crimping-pin is aggression. Daughter, you should 
dress for the ''old folks at home" even more than for outsiders, 
instead of less, and you should take into consideration that you are 
helping form your brother's impression of women. For the sake 
of your sex, as well as for the sake of the brother himself, you 
cannot be too careful to have that impression the very best. 



>^^^^j 




OCCUPATIONS 



FOR 



VOALN 





OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN 



CHAPTER I. 



WOMAN S SPHERE. 



ND what is woman's sphere? Decidedly, in the 

present day, a very unsettled thing. Every 

few weeks some new writer comes to the front 

and endeavors to establish a fixed standard. 

But ''thus far shalt thou go and no farther/' 

does not seem to have the desired effect upon 

constantly advancing woman. And now we 

ask again, who will or can define a woman's 

sphere ? That sphere was once considered to be 

bounded on all sides by the circle drawn round the 

domestic hearth. Nobody seemed to reflect that there 

were some women so unfortunate as to have no special 

domestic ties of their own. Such miserable creatures 

were directed to seek womanly employment among the 

families of their married relations. Why should a single 

woman unsex herself by going out into the world, when 

her brother or sister had a houseful of obstreperous children to 

look after ? Why, indeed ! 

In these times, all is changed, however, thanks to the persevering 

ones who have hacked and hewed a way to competence, through 

thorny paths, leaving the road comparatively clear for those that 

follow. "No head for business," says some man; ''a woman's 
26 




402 QUEEN OF HOME. 

proper sphere is housekeeping." Let us see ! No head for bus- 
iness ! Very Httle head for accounts ! Well, perhaps the last 
proposition is true in the main, but it is purely for want of practice. 
Ask any business man who employs a woman bookkeeper, whether 
his accountant is competent or not ? There is certainly one point 
on which the women can yield the palm to the men (no doubt they 
will do it gracefully and willingly), and that is the number of betrayed 
trusts. Let him who reads the daily papers say what per cent, of the 
women employed as accountants, and handling large sums of money, 
pocket the half of it and flee to Canada. 

"No head for business." Leaving aside the scores of w^omen 
employed in business houses, there is hardly a thing in the world 
that calls for a clearer head for business than the intelligent man- 
agement of a household. Not the scrubbing and the scouring, 
though even in these the more brains one can bring to bear upon 
them the better, both for the occupation, and the persons engaged 
therein. But the management of all the minutiae, the being able to 
consider each separate detail, and see the result of the great whole 
at the same time. 

Why, to be a successful housekeeper, a woman must understand 
— let us see — baking, washing, ironing, cooking, sewing ; that is, four 
trades, without the minor acts of dishwashing, sweeping, dusting, etc. 
But a woman, to be true mistress of her house, must absolutely be 
accomplished In four trades, that require no mean skill, any one 
of them, and three of them, trades that many men practice. Men 
bake, men cook, men sew. Do they unsex themselves when they 
practice three of the trades of housekeepers, or do wo7nen unsex 
themselves when they practice in their households three of the trades 
in which men have been successful ? How is it, anyway ? 

Taking all the facts into consideration, we think "woman's 
sphere" is the same as that of man, i. e., to do cheerfully and well 
the work that comes to her hand, whether it be with a pen, a sur- 
geon's knife, a dentist's drill, a pair of scissors or a broom. 

In an article recently published, entitled "Woman and Work," 
there is much sound, hard, common sense, with a few ideas which 
will, I think, bear modification. "It is not more money the world is 
suffering for," says the writer of that article, "but more virtue; not 
more homes of luxury, but more homes of real refinement, happiness, 
goodness and love; more sterling women who realize what is their 
truest and noblest sphere of usefulness ; more men who will carr^^ 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 403 

into the world the aroma of homes, lovely in every sense." She 
should have added (no doubt she forgot it) mid more me7i woi^thy 
mid appreciative of such a home. 

She speaks, in the earlier part of the article quoted, of men 
becoming contemptible and losing their "spark of manliness," but 
perhaps if she had made more than a surface observation of the 
human race, she would have found that it is the women who have 
been sufficiently unfortunate to discover that their husbands, or other 
masculine connections, -dXr^-d^Ay lacked that "spark of manliness" (the 
loss of which is certainly much to be deplored, whatever the cause 
of that loss) have been compelled to turn out for themselves. 

The "spark of manliness" and the love of home comforts, 
supposed to be implanted in every masculine breast, do not, unfor- 
tunately, "make the pot boil;" and if the writer of "Woman and 
Work," had gone a trifle more deeply into the subject, made notes 
and drawn up a set of statistics for herself, I think she would have 
found that it is necessity, and not love of display, of money, or of 
power, which drives most women to work in public places. Even 
the career of school teaching (which she almost condemns), with its 
alluring prospect of money and fame (!) is not entered into by many 
because they will, but because they m.ust. 

When, too, there is more than one daughter at home, and the 
family can "get along" (nothing more) "on father's salary," that 
extra daughter is reprehensible who does not turn out and "do 
something," in order to provide the luxuries for the parents, who, in 
their older life, require something more than a mere "getting along," 
at the hands of the children for whom they have toiled and striven 
all their anxious lives. Sometimes, too, "protectors" die (perhaps 
from the very strain of "getting along") — then what? Useless, as 
far as combating the world is concerned ; helpless from having been 
taught to consider that their sole duty was to "shed the aroma of 
sweet, womanly influence" around the domestic hearth, they sink 
into that most deplorable of all positions — "poor relations." 

In whatever else it may disagree, the world unanimously 
considers it a settled fact, that woman must eat and be clothed, 
though as to her legitimate path in the pursuit of food and raiment, 
there be various opinions. Without discussing the desirability or 
legitimacy, of the devious paths now open to women ; without at all 
wishing to open up the subject of "woman's rights," I would urge 
upoq parents a closer thought in regard to the future of their 



404 QUEEN OF HOME. 

daughters, which, indeed, in these days of fluctuating fortune, is no 
Hght matter. Let them be educated for good housekeepers, by all 
means, if they have any taste for it (and led to it, if possible, if they 
have not); let them be taught to sew, to knit, to weave, to bake, 
to brew, to scrub ; anything and everything, in short, calculated to 
make their own home or that of the "coming man," pleasanter and 
more comfortable. Let them further be educated so as to be able 
to fill, with ease any position in society; let them become brilliant 
women, if they have the ability for that. But there is something yet 
beyond this — -let them be educated to be self-supporting, if necessity 
should offer. 

Each girl should have a trade or a profession. When a man 
of fortune fails, who is to take care of his five daughters, or what 
use has the world for five "good housekeepers" who have no 
houses to keep? Since it is a melancholy fact that "ladies" are at 
times unexpectedly obliged to support themselves (and even those 
around them), every woman should have at her command some 
trade or profession, in order that when necessity occurs, if ever it 
does, she may have wares to ofler, for which the public is likely to be 
a ready purchaser ; for, believe it, the world has but little to say to 
the woman who can urge only her "good housekeeping" as a plea 
for a position whereby she may earn her daily bread. Let each 
daughter be taught some trade or profession outside of her own 
home : one, millinery ; another, dressmaking, and so on — if only the 
so-called womanly employments are preferred. If, however, popular 
prejudice, or private opinion, does not interfere, the branches in 
which a woman may perfect herself with a view to future self- 
support, are legion — bookkeeping, short-hand, type-writing, any of 
the thousand-and-one new avenues opening for women, or the time- 
honored old ones. But, parents, do not, as you love your daughters, 
do not allow them, in case of reverses, to find themselves stranded 
on a barren shore, incapable of anything but "eating the bitter bread 
of charity" as "poor relations." 




CHAPTER II. 



WHAT SHALL I DO t 



HAT ca7i you do ? That is the question. 

Having elected and decided that something 

she must do, the question of ''What shall I 

do?" is one which causes many an anxious 

day and sleepless night. The tendency seems 

to be more towards a point of willingness 

than one of capability. The avenues to 

women are so immeasurably advanced that, 

it is to be feared, without sufficient thought as to individual 

capacity, she enters into paths entirely unfitted for her, 

uneducated as she is in business. 

Woman's mental ability is a thing which needs no 
proof; her capability — her adaptability to some or any 
particular position — remains always to be proved, and she 
is handicapped by generations of ancestors who were op- 
posed to a woman's advancing one step beyond the kitchen 
or ball-room. To the woman who found herself "obliged to look out 
for herself," in past years, there was absolutely but one refuge for 
"decayed gentility" — that of teaching. Taking boarders was the 
only other occupation which a woman could take up, unchallenged. 
Now, everything is so different that, in the excess of freedom, women 
with all the audacity of ignorance, seek paths for which they, as indi- 
viduals, are entirely unfitted. All this will probably be eradicated 
with generations of education, and women who must seek a business 
life will have inherited, in a degree, a business education. And, if 
not, what then ? Do we not find men in positions to which they are 
no ornament? Look at the various trades and professions, and 
answer the question for yourselves. 

There are many points of consideration when the grand question 
is to be solved, but the very first — the one that is of all the most 




4o6 QUEEN OF HOME. 

important — is your peculiar fitness for the walk you have chosen; 
and if none is decided on, if there be no real predilection, then for the 
path you are about to choose. Do not fancy, because it is elected 
that you must earn your own living, that pluck and energy and 
perseverance, combined with your natural abilities, will enable you 
to fill any position you may select. You may desire to do some 
particular thing, or to enter some particular walk, because -'it is so 
respectable and genteel," or because someone else has done so. 
But be very sure that you have the requirements of success before 
you fioat your bark, lest you not only lose this chance of a safe 
passage, but prevent all chance of making port in any other direction. 
There are yet many domestic avenues open to women, that have so 
far been untried. One smart woman, who felt that she lacked the 
brain required for a lawyer or a physician, or, in fact, any of the 
professions or callings, accepted the work at her door, and did ''the 
next thing." 

If we would analyze the methods by which the successful ones 
in the race of life have achieved their end, we will find that it was by 
their ability to seize on "the next thing." "Some are born to great- 
ness, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 
them," says the sage, but those few who are born to greatness, or 
those w^ho have greatness thrust upon them, are nothing to ^those 
who "achieve greatness" by doing "the next thing." To every^one 
is not given the power to see just what is the next thing, but to such 
as it is given, is assured success. Others have the gift, but from 
modesty or indolence (as often one as the other) they hesitate, and 
"he who hesitates is lost." 

There is nothing so likely to produce success as a definite, 
settled purpose ; nothing so likely to assure a mediocrity of achieve- 
ment as a daily performance of fixed duties, with a vague hope that 
"something will turn up." Life is too short for mere waiting, unless 
Waiting be inevitable. Let her who waits, watch also, that any straw 
which floats in her direction may be seized to best advantage. It is 
not once in a thousand times that one leaps to success. One arrives 
there only after having, with toil and pain and weariness, taken in 
hand from time to time, as opportunity presents itself, "the next 
thing." 

This brave woman spoken of, took up "the next thing," and 
made a trade and name for herself, as a lamp-trimmer. There are 
quite a number of these now, who go by the name of "lampers." 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 407 

For a certain sum per lamp, they keep in order all the lamps of a 
household, coming at stated periods, trimming, filling and cleaning, 
as occasion requires. What a blessing this is to the busy house- 
mother ! Men make their living by winding clocks, going from 
house to house and office to office, as do the lampers. Why should 
not women learn to do this also ? This is more of a trade, however, 
as one must understand clockmaking before such work can be 
attended to in a truly satisfactory manner. 

I am growing older every day I find, and the more I read and 
hear and see and feel, the more am I convinced that many of my 
fellow-women have nothing to do, because they are not willing to do 
that which lies before them. 'T must earn some money," sighs 
someone, "but how? Ihave no trade, and there seems nothing for 
me to do." Nothing? Can you do nothing well? Can you do 
none of the homely home work well? If you can accomplish any 
one thing deftly, there is your trade at hand. Are your preserves 
a success ? Go round among your neighbors at so much per day. 
Plenty of them will be glad to have the bother of preserving off 
their hands. Can you mend and darn to your own satisfaction and 
that of others ? Go darn your neighbors' stockings at so much per 
pair. Can you — oh, dare I mention such a menial occupation ! — but 
really, can you clean and polish children's shoes nicely and quickly? 
Then a fortune awaits you. For I can even now see the eye of the 
mother brighten with relief, as she sees you enter and attack the five 
little muddy pairs of shoes which she has been regarding with such 
despair, not knowing where the time was to come from for her to do 
it. For her who can do well something which the neighborhood needs, 
there is occupation and money, as, when once the mothers find that 
they can be relieved of many little duties which have taken them 
from more important things, they will gladly hand them over to some- 
one who makes a profession of it, and will cheerfully pay for it, too. 
A woman may not desire to set up a bake-shop in her own house, 
but if she truly understands the art of baking, there are many 
neighbors who will welcome her gladly to their homes to do the 
work. 

The trouble with too many who cry for work, I am convinced, is 
that they are so anxious to be "genteel" (being full of that false 
pride which is far worse than none), and are 7iot willing to do that 
which they can do well. One woman, whose forte is evidently 
baking, desires to give music lessons ; another, who wields a needle 



4o8 QUEEN OF HOME. 

with neatness and effect, desires to paint placques. Surely, good 
biscuits are better than bad music — fine darning better than coarse 
painting. 

There are women who make it their business to lay carpets, 
others to hang curtains and keep them in repair, doing them up at 
certain seasons, and folding them carefully away in the summer 
season. Why should not some woman make it her calling to go 
around packing winter clothing away from the moths ? If called 
upon to do something at 07ice, and you feel that there is some homely 
task that you can and do perform well, that is the thing for you to 
try first. It may prove a step to something higher and more Intel- 
lectual, but as a beginning, it is the very best you can do. You have 
a good oven, and it is not always convenient for your neighbors to 
heat theirs for baking, why not start a trade in baked potatoes, for 
instance ? Mrs. Jones, over the way, will soon be glad to send her 
order for a dozen smoking hot potatoes, and shortly, her dear friend 
round the corner, learning that your potatoes are always "done to 
a turn," will follow suit. And the same enterprising woman who 
sells hot baked potatoes, may also sell cold baked apples with equal 
success. The question of getting along is greatly one of supply and 
demand. When seeking work you must be able to offer, well done, 
that which people need, and you must also go to those who need 
what you can supply. 

A step beyond this class of occupations, which require little 
or no capital, is another class, in connection with which may be 
mentioned bee-keeping, poultry raising, the silk-worm industry, and 
the raising of small fruits. For each of these a certain amount of 
capital is needed, and frequently the ultimate success of any of these 
enterprises depends upon the amount of money one has to lose, or 
how long one can wait for returns to come in. If any woman fancies 
that it is but to put in a little money, followed by a little work, and 
then a rich harvest in a few short months, let her disabuse herself 
of the idea at once. There are quantities of beautiful, theoretical 
stories written, in which a girl accustomed to luxury, suddenly finds 
herself alone in the world, her sole capital about one hundred 
dollars and some old farmhouse or other, that the family has con- 
sidered of so little importance heretofore, that they have really 
forgotten they owned it. To this she retires with her hundred 
dollars. This sum she invests, as the case may be (or, rather, 
according to the taste of the writer), in one of four things — strawberry 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN, 



409 



plants, chickens, silk-worms or bees — and, spite of the fact that she 
has no practical knowledge in regard to these matters (or, indeed, 
practical knowledge in any direction) she buys a book upon the 
subject, and fearlessly attacks the problem of caring for her stock in 
trade. In a few months, her capital yields her immense returns, and 
she shordy finds herself a "bloated bondholder." She never meets 
with any mishaps ; the eggs always hatch ; no rats ever devour the 
small chicks ; the incubator lights never go out nor flare up too high ; 
her chickens never have 
rheumatism, nor any 
other complaint; the 
result is an immense 




number of spring chickens just when the market is at its very best. 
No blight ever strikes the plants ; no drought kills the berries. The' 
silk-worms thrive and fill their spindles, and the magician's wand 
converts the web-like filaments into gold. The bees always swarm 
at the proper season, and winter finds the young mistress with stores 
of golden honey, and "silver coin galore." All this, and much more, 
is credited to her, and all the result of little capital and, inferentially, 
less work. 

But the truth is that to success, as to learnino^, "there is no 



4IO QUEEN OF HOME. 

royal road." Every success represents so much experience — every 
dollar, so much hard work. Do not permit yourselves to be deluded 
by statistics. Let actual experience be the source from which you 
draw your information, and unless you can gain your knowledge 
from someone who has had practical experience in the calling which 
you wish to undertake, you are unwise to risk your little hoard. 
Books must be had, of course, but it is impossible to gain in this 
way, information so exact as to form an infallible premise upon which 
to base business calculations. The Silk Growers Association has 
been a wonderful success, and many women are doing well in that 
way. But it is not an easy path. It is not so back-breaking as 
washing, ironing or house-cleaning, but it requires as "strict attention 
to business" as either of those. It is a pleasant occupation, however, 
and one that can be begun on a small scale, with very little capital. 
As such, it is to be cordially recommended to the notice of women. 
For they can gain such experience for a small outlay of money, as 
will be invaluable to them when desiring to increase the business. 
A few words taken from the reports of the association, will give a 
brief history of the industry that may be interesting. 

"Every time the culture of silk has been introduced into this 
country it has met with discouragement and failure, caused by spec- 
ulators in mulberry trees, and primitive machinery. At the present 
time it is introduced under more favorable auspices, and in states 
where legislative aid has been extended, it is successfully pursued. 
About twenty-five years ago the silk-worms of France were diseased 
and the industry crippled ; at that time healthy and fine quality eggs 
were sent to the silk-growing districts of France from Louisiana ; a 
private firm from France has bought thousands of acres in Missis- 
sippi, and is fitting up a silk farm. 

The United States ranks third as a silk manufacturing coun- 
try, but depends entirely upon imported raw material and skilled 
workmen. The 'Woman's Silk Culture Association,' of the United 
States was organized in Philadelphia in the year 1880. Mrs. John 
Lucas is president, and Mrs. Bishop Simpson one of the vice- 
presidents. The association was formed to create an interest in 
silk culture, to give reliable information to culturists, and to make a 
market for cocoons. The ladies of the association used their own 
money for this, until government aid was furnished in 1885, when a 
government experimental station in silk culture was established in 
Philadelphia, and Mrs. John Lucas was appointed superintendent 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 411 

of an experimental station, to demonstrate the filature department 
of the silk industry, which was done at 1222-26 Arch street, Phila- 
delphia, and this silk reeling station did good service." 

This industry, the progress in which is due entirely to the zeal 
and undaunted courage of women, bids fair to be one of our chief 
industries. Silk underwear even is being made in Chicago, the silk 
native to America being specially firm and fine, and well adapted to 
this purpose. Out of five successful silk raisers in Massachusetts, 
four are women. There is a wide field open for women in this 
direction, both as raisers of mulberry trees, and also of cocoons. 
The Silk Growers Association report a great advance in quality of 
the cocoons. The industry is growing slowly, but the best results 
are being brought out by women who have taken up the work. 

The association has taken a tract of land at Odenton, Maryland, 
where they carry on the business on a large scale, and in which they 
are desirous of interesting the women of America. Any woman, 
therefore, who desires to go into this business would do well to 
obtain advice and instruction from this centre of silk-worm culture. 

Raising flowers for the market, more especially sweet violets, 
has become quite an occupation among women, and when successful 
at all, it is quite lucrative. But, like all the rest, success only crowns 
untiring devotion to business and unceasing vigilance. The windows 
must be closed when the weather is too cold, they must be opened 
when too warm, lest the flowers should be chilled or smothered, and 
thus the labor and expense of months be lost. If a sudden change 
comes in the night, the flower-raiser must arise and examine the 
furnaces and the sash, to see that all is right, and her charges in no 
danger of harm. 

In everything, you see, it is the same, but then, when heights are 
gained and success is won, by a blessed provision, the winner looks 
back, not upon the toil, but upon the pleasant steps which have led 
to final conquest, and competence is enjoyed with a greater zest for 
the very reason that it was not lightly attained. 




CHAPTER III. 



ADVICE TO YOUNG WOMEN, 



DVICE ! " That is an ugly word, is it not ? Few 
of us are so humble or so self-distrustful that 
we really like advice that has been given un- 
sought, and yet no one in the wide world needs 
advice, good, sound, common-sensical advice, 
as much as the young woman who turns out 
for the first time to seek a livelihood. Whatever 
else a mother is capable of doing, however 
near she and her daughter may be, whatever her judg- 
ment and counsel may be worth in all other respects, 
she is utterly incapable of giving her daughter the ad- 
vice most necessary to her as a wage-earner. She 
is incapable of this, because by reason of her secluded 
life, she is utterly ignorant of the requirements of the 
case, and the circumstances and treatment her daughter 
will meet with. She can only do her best to ground her 
in firm principles of integrity and truth and loyalty and honor, and 
then bid her " God-speed," striving to assist her in a general way, by 
still keeping, if possible, her hold as her daughter's confidante. If 
she can do this, she has done all that a mother can do — the world, 
experience, and a judicious friend must do the rest. 

There are many, however, to whom the *' judicious friend" 
never comes, and to aid such, much has been written by both men 
and women, who should certainly be considered as experienced. 
But even in this, individual judgment must be exercised and a close 
line followed as to the advice to be taken. Witness, for instance, a 
recently published article, entitled, "Advice to Young Women who 
are Alone in the World." I would like to quote, verbatim, a para- 
graph or two, just to see how it will strike you. 

"Live in a first-class neighborhood. It is worth more to you 
to have a good address on your cards and envelopes than any 




OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 413 

amount of finery you could pile on. In a first-class neighborhood, 
you can afford to dress as plainly as you please ; but if you lived in 
a little back street, particularly if you dressed well, it might be 
sufficient to ruin your reputation. If you are at all straitened in 
circumstances, never board with anyone who depends upon your 
board-money. Then if you run at all behindhand, you will not be 
likely to be tortured by demands to pay before you are able. We 
hear a great deal now-a-days, about the rich grinding down the poor, 
but the poor are just as likely to grind down each other. You 
cannot afford to be ground down by anybody. 

For a similar reason, go to a first-class physician, dentist, or 
other professional man or woman, if you need their services. You 
may have to pay a little more in the end, though the probabilities are 
that you will not — but, in any event, your bills will not be sent you 
in a hurry, and you will not be harassed until your soul is sick in 
the effort to pay. 'Rich people's doctors' are proverbial for their 
patience and sympathy with the poor ; they will take your money 
rather than allow you to feel under any obligation to them, but they 
are not seriously injured if anything happens, and they never get 
what is due them. But this is not all. If you employ first-class 
professionals, the services rendered you are better. Rich people can 
afford to risk their life, health and appearance for the experiments 
of bunglers — you cannot." 

There ! I will not go any further with it, except that later on I 
would like to quote one more short paragraph. The advice here 
given clearly is, as a measure of self-preservation from duns : "Incur 
all sorts of debts, no matter whether you have any immediate pros- 
pect of paying them or not. Board with someone who can better 
afford to support you (even though you have no claim on them), than 
yo2i can afford to live in a back street. Unhesitatingly ask the 
services of the best professional men, because they can afford to 
^ive you their services, if you find yourself indisposed to pay them." 
In other words, get everything you can, and do not feel the slightest 
embarrassment at being considered a "genteel pauper." She says 
you "cannot afford" to do this or that, but believe me, you can 
still less "afford" to lose one whit of your self-respect, or the 
respect that is due you from a world you have treated honorably. 
Now for the closing paragraph of this truly remarkable article. 

" About economy ? Oh, yes ! Every letter to young women con- 
tains something of the kind. Well, the foregoing indicates in what 



414 QUEEN OF HOME. 

directions not to economize. You can economize in every other 
that you please, except kid gloves, real lace, the best shoes and 
corsets, violet sachet powder, cVeam linen paper and fresh cut flowers. 
These things you 'have to have.' The world has long laughed at 
the young fellow who said : ' Stockings I can do without, but a 
buzzum pin I 7mcst have ! ' But the world was wrong and the young 
fellow was right. The probabilities were that he had more stockings 
than he needed already; so have you ! " 

On this paragraph I have little comment to make except to say, 
dear girls, that the advice which counsels "cut flowers" instead of 
stockings, and ''real lace" in place of honest payment of debts, is 
dangerous, to say the least, and will lead to some very risky 
experiments, and unpleasant experiences upon the part of the 
experimenter. 

In contradistinction to the former article, I would like to give 
another one, recently published in the Busiiiess Wo77ian s yournal. 
I shall give this entire, as I feel sure that every word of it is needed 
and to the point. I am only sorry to be unable to give the name of 
the writer of an article so informed with common sense. It is called 
" Homely Hints to Young Women in Business." 

'' Never ask for your services more, and never accept for them 
less, than they are actually worth. If you demand more compen- 
sation than you are capable of earning, you will either not be engaged 
at all, or will be dismissed as soon as someone can be found to take 
your place. If you accept less than you know your experience 
and ability ought to command, you will throw out of employment 
someone else who is only capable of earning a small salar}'. Most 
business men who demand skillful services are able to pay for them. 
On the other hand, there are certain firms who cannot afford to pay 
high salaries. For the sake of economy, the latter are willing to 
accept less competent labor. Positions of this kind should therefore 
be reserv^ed for those whose capacity is only sufficient to fill them. 
A man whose business is large, and time consequently valuable, will 
not cavil about a few dollars a week, when he has to decide between 
a skillful and an unskillful employe. But when the skilled artisan will 
accept the salary of the unskilled, the employer does not hesitate to 
avail himself of such an opportunity, and the bread is thus taken 
out of the mouths of those whose workmanship is estimated on a 
lower scale. 

Never chat durino- business hours. Remember that, although 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 415 

you may not be occupied at the time, others in the office with you 
are, and your conversation will be very likely to disturb them. 
Employ your leisure hours in reading or study, and you will be sur- 
prised to see how much you can thus add to your stock of knowledge. 

Be as lady-like in an office as you would be in a parlor; and 
above all things, avoid undue familiarity with the clerks with whom 
you may be associated. Treat them always with kindness, and be 
ever ready to do them a favor, but remember that familiarity breeds 
contempt. The dignified- and refined manners of the young ladies 
who first entered the different kinds of business awakened respect 
and made a place for others. Do not, by your careless behavior in 
public offixces, destroy the good opinions which have thus been earned. 
Do^not treat as a social friend a young man you may chance to meet 
in business, until you have the approval of. your friends, or your 
association with him has been sufficiently long to prove his worth. 

Never accept gifts or other attentions from your employer, 
unless he has introduced you to the members of his family, and you 
have been received on a social equality by them. He may invite you 
to entertainments with the kindest motives, but remember that in 
accepting his attentions, you are exposing yourself to criticism, and 
will lose much of the respect of others to which you are entitled. 
In your association with men in business, above all things strive 
to command their respect. 

Do not receive letters or social calls at your place of business. 
Although you may have leisure for this purpose, such calls will 
probably be an annoyance to those with whom you are associated in 
business. In a printing office or in a manufactor}^ at noon, busmess 
ceases and the employes are given an hour for lunch, but in most 
offices where ladies are employed, the machinery of business con- 
tinues all day. Some of the employes must be constantly at their 
desks, and it is necessary that there should be no disturbance or 
interruption, and that quiet and order should always be preserved. 

Never use the telephone for your personal business, except in 
cases of absolute necessity. You may be alone in the office of your 
employer, and a little chat with a friend through the telephone may 
not, at that time, interfere in the slightest degree with the interests 
of your employer, but what do you know of the engagements of the 
young lady at the other end of the wire? 

Imagine a scene like this : In a busy office, a call comes through 
the telephone for Miss Smith, the stenographer or typewriter oper- 



41 6 QUEEN OF HOME. 

ator. The small boy whose duty it is to answer, knows that Miss 
Smith at this moment is taking dictation from the head of the firm, 
but being- anxious to oblige the young lady, he consults the managing 
clerk. This young gentleman, thinking there may be an important 
message for Aliss Smith, invades the sanctum of his senior, just as 
he is in the midst of dictating an important paper, and announces 
that the young lady is wanted at the telephone. The senior member 
of the firm frowns ominously on the daring clerk, and reluctantly 
gives Miss Smith permission to answer the call. She rushes from 
the room, seizes the speaking tube and receives this important 
message : ' Halloa ! Jennie, where are you going to lunch ? I am 

going to ; meet me there, please.' Jennie answers : 'Yes ; I am 

awfully busy. Good bye.' The whole operation, perhaps, may not 
take over five minutes, but in that short time it has disorganized and 
thrown out of working gear, the entire office. The stenographer 
now returns to her task to find her employer in a state of nervous 
excitement, which impedes the progress of his work, perhaps, for an 
hour. The flow of his thoughts has been interrupted, and he finds 
it almost impossible to dictate with the same fluency as before. 

To most young women in business, the advice we have given 
above, is entirely unnecessary. The good common sense and judg- 
ment displayed by most of them is proverbial, but to the few, who 
through thoughtlessness, are in the habit of subjecting their employers 
to these annoyances, a few hints of this kind will be useful. The 
fact that employers do not complain of anything of this kind is not 
a proof that they are satisfied. Most of them dislike exceedingly 
to find fault with the refined and lady-like girls in their employ, and 
rather than do this, will either bear these annoyances in silence, or 
which is mxore often the case, conclude to dismiss the young woman 
in fault, and hire a young man. 

If all employers would take the same course as one of whom I 
recently heard, who requested a young lady in his employ not to 
receive, at his office, calls from young lady friends, such suggestions 
would not be necessary. But, unfortunately, this is very seldom the 
case. We do not mean by these remarks to imply that young ladies 
generally are not quite as business-like, and quite as trustworthy as 
young men. On the other hand, the statement that they are far more 
trustworthy than young men has frequently been made to the Avriter 
by employers. For this reason, my dear girls, I want you to keep 
up the record. We do not feel responsible for the conduct of the 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 



417 



young men ; but we must remember that the employment of women 
has not yet, in popular estimation, ceased to be an experiment, and 
that the mistakes made by a few, are recorded against us all. 

A man who at some time had in his employ a giddy girl, who 
w^as in the habit of spending her leisure time in chatting with the 
clerks, can never be convinced that this is not the common habit of 
all women in business, unless previously he had employed one who 
had been a valuable assistant. If a young man in his employ proves 
troublesome or incompetent, he dismisses him and employs another. 
It never occurs to him to say: 'I will never employ a young man 
again, young men are idle and incompetent, you cannot depend upon 
them.' Yet these are just the kinds of arguments that are used 
against women, when any one of them makes a mistake. Women 
have not, in popular estimation, reached the heights where they can 
be considered as individuals. We have not yet attained to the 
dignity of having our work estimated as that of Ellen, Sarah or Jane. 
We still belong to the inconglomerate mass called ' women ' and 
must stand and fall together. 

When the standard of womanhood has been raised so high that 
men will not say, when some woman of their acquaintance makes a 
mistake, or has done some foolish, unbusiness-like act : ' Oh ! these 
women.' When we have advanced to such a position that we may 
be judged as individuals, then the responsibilities which rest upon 
our shoulders will be lighter; but under present conditions, and in 
every act of our lives, let us all remember that on each of us rests 
the responsibility of sustaining the dignity of all." 




27 



CHAPTER IV. 




SELECTION OF A CALLING. 



E will suppose that our young woman is already 
equipped with good common sense and firmly 
grounded principles, and the question of se- 
lection of a calling arises. But how shall she 
proceed ? She has no influential friends, and 
as little money. What hope is there that she 
will ever be able to enter some calling or 
profession congenial to her tastes ? The very first thing 
she should do, is to become a good stenographer and 
typewriter. Well, how can she do this ? In every large 
city the Women s Christian Association, and other kindred 
institutions, have opened this field by starting night classes 
at a merely nominal sum for tuition. If she can obtain a 
clerkship, or some other employment, by which she may 
support herself, she may in the meantime be preparing 
for a higher field. Having become a good stenographer and type- 
writer (and let her not stop short of excellence), her next step will 
be to find, if possible, such a position in the office of some pro- 
fessional man. By this means she will learn much of the business 
and can, by degrees, pick up such an amount of knowledge that she 
may consider herself well on the road to the goal. Copying papers 
for lawyers, writing specifications for architects, or attending to 
the correspondence and general clerical work of physicians, as a 
method of education, is not by any means to be despised. As steno- 
graphers are employed in all professions, callings and trades, this 
certainly opens the best avenue to the aspirant as giving a knowledge 
of the business, and at the same time insuring a livelihood. She 
learns what she should and must know, and has at hand very 




OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 419 

often the means of studying those things in which she is most 
deficient. 

In training for a stenographer, the novitiate generally considers 
that the training of the hand is the most important point, whereas 
the training of the brain to quick thought, is the primary point. In 
no calling is intuition more necessary than in this. Next to this 
comes a quick ear, but here again quickness of brain and intuition 
come to the fore. There must not only be acute hearing, but a 
quickness to connect sound with idea. When a stenographer hears 
the word ''rational" she should know by intuition that it is "rational" 
and not "national," even though she may have fancied that the latter 
word, and not the former, was spoken. To be truly valuable, the 
stenographer should also be able to write a good letter — to punctuate 
with accuracy, and phrase and paragraph with judgment. A lack of 
these characteristics is the general complaint among those who em- 
ploy people in this capacity. An employer would prefer intelligent 
rendering, to rapidity of execution. He would feel that the latter 
might be acquired if lacking, but would be perfectly hopeless in 
regard to the former, if that were wanting. 

Are women employed in architects' offices ? Not to any great 
extent as yet, but I believe there is a great field for women in this 
direction. One architect has been known to declare that he always 
has a woman in his office, because he is convinced that women know 
far more about planning conveniences than do men. In dealing with 
detail, or, in fact, in planning at all, he always consults the young 
woman who has, by her exercise of sound judgment and common 
sense, made her advice valuable. 

To quote from a recently published article by Mary F. Seymour, 
editor of the Business Woman s yottrnal. "To the question, 'Is 
there any reason why a woman should not become a practical 
architect ? ' we have an unqualified negative from most of those 
who have employed women ; others answer, ' No, as far as draughting, 
planning and designing buildings is concerned ; ' but they are of the 
opinion that her sex and her dress unfit her for superintending con- 
struction. One answers, 'Women are specially apt in matters of 
interior decoration.' Another says, 'I should think it best for women 
to study architectural drawing, with a view to decorative work, in 
which they can, and some have, made a real success, but only an 
exceptionally strong-minded woman, with a long daily experience in 
the uses and qualities of materials and mechanical trades, could 



420 QUEEN OF HOME. 

superintend the construction of a building, without being constantly 
imposed upon by the contractors and workmen.' " 

Alexander I. Tinkle, a prominent architect of New York, is 
quoted, in this same article, as saying, " I think I have been the only 
architect in this city who has made it a practice to fit young ladies as 
architectural draughtsmen. I have had them as far back as 1884, 
and am satisfied in my mind that they can do as well as men." Mr. 
Tinkle also says: ''I have fully considered the matter for several 
years, and have come to the conclusion that draughtswomen, for 
office work especially, would in many instances be preferable to 
men." And then he adds : 'T will give you all the help in my power 
for the introduction of women into our profession." 

But the other side of the question should be pointed out to the 
student. In order to do this, I will quote one more paragraph from 
the same excellent article by Miss' Seymour. 

" A young woman who is a graduate of a good technical school 
miay be able to earn a salary of two or three dollars per week, after 
remaining in an architect's office for three or four months. If she 
has no previous training, she cannot expect to earn anything in less 
than six months; after three years' practice, she ought to be able to 
earn from eight to twelve dollars per week ; in five years, a specially 
competent person may command a salary of from twenty to twenty- 
five dollars per week. Excellent draughtsmen may be obtained for 
eighteen dollars per week." 

It would seem from this, that in a financial point of view, the 
study of architecture by women is not as desirable as many another 
path which they might tread. Indeed, the matter may be summed 
up by one other quotation from Miss Seymour. ''We would not 
advise the study of architecture by any woman whose necessities 
compel her to earn a salary at once. * * * g^^ having 
faithfully done this" {i. e., pointed out the difficulties), ''we feel 
justified in saying that for the woman who loves art well enough to 
sacrifice personal comfort for the sake of success, architecture offers 
a most delightful occupation." 

In civil engineering, too, there is an avenue opening. The 
chief engineer of the New York Central and Hudson River Rail- 
road declares it as his belief that there is no reason why women 
should not be largely employed in the offices of civil engineers. 
There is much work, he says, of computing, drawing and trans- 
ferring, that may be done quite as successfully by women as by 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 421 

men. In this opinion he is supported by other engineers of high 
standing. 

In many cases we see young women, who are their fathers' trusted 
assistants in some particular profession. Why should not other 
young women be trusted assistants in other similar offices which are 
not controlled by their fathers ? For instance, I am well acquainted 
with a young girl, scarcely nineteen, even now, who has for the past 
three or four years been the right-hand man, so to speak, of her 
father, who is a conveyancer. She makes his calculations, she pro- 
jects his maps, she engrosses his deeds — in short, she does everything 
in her power to save him the unnecessary expenditure of his over- 
full time. Why could not she, or any other young woman, do the 
same work for any other conveyancer ? 

' Into the international contest, last summer, there entered, as 
contestants for honors as rapid typewriters the following : 

Remington operators^ — Miss Mae Orr, New York City ; Miss 
M. C. Grant, New York City; Miss M. Berry, Toronto; Frank E. 
McGurrin, Salt Lake City; Thomas W. Snyder, Pottsville, Penn- 
sylvania. Caligraph operators — Mrs. A. J. Henderson, Toronto; 
Miss Mary McManus, New York City; A. I. Nicholas, Youngstown, 
Ohio; George McBride, Ottawa; T. W. Osborne, Rochester, New 
York. 

Miss Orr took a well-earned first place. The account of the 
contest, as given by the Phonographic World, pays a pleasant tribute 
not only to Miss Orr's excellence in her profession, but to her 
womanly qualities. 

Quoting first from the Evening Mail, of Toronto, it runs: "'In 
legal work. Miss Orr averaged over one hundred words per miitute, 
but the correspondence abounded in long words and brought her 
total average down to about ninety-nine words per minute. The 
total number of words written was nine hundred and eighty-seven. 
McGurrin wrote nine hundred and fifty-one. Of five thousand points 
as a basis. Miss M. E. Orr gained four thousand, nine hundred and 
thirty-five ; McGurrin, four thousand, seven hundred and fifty-six 
and a half. Both of the winners used the Remington machine, and 
demonstrated that the limit of speed on that machine has not yet 
been reached. An analysis of Miss Orr's copy shows that she 
averaged about nine strokes per second, and neither machine nor 
operator showed any signs of distress. Miss Orr owns a very pros- 
perous copying office in New York. Her nimble fingers bring her 



422 QUEEN OF HOME. 

an income of about three thousand dollars per year. She has won 
several contests in New York, but this is her first appearance in 
an international tournament.' 

''Miss Orr, the winner of the championship medal, commenced 
the study of typewriting about five years ago, and for the past two 
years has been in business on her own account. She is a woman of 
whom the profession is justly proud, not only for her remarkable 
skill as an operator, but for her excellent personal qualities. She 
combines with business ability an unassuming and attractive manner; 
but is possessed of a quiet determination, the exercise of which 
carried her successfully through the Toronto contest. She carries 
herself with all the dignity necessary in a woman engaged in 
commercial pursuits ; is intelligent and agreeable, methodical and 
matter-of-fact in her transactions, and, as a consequence, enjoys the 
respect of all who know her. Such women are ornaments to the 
profession, and do more every day toward advancing the interests 
of, and removing the prejudice against, female labor, than does a 
'Woman's Rights' Convention. The branch of her business to 
which she personally attends, is the taking of dictation upon the 
typewriter, from court stenographers. Among her customers are 
such men as Munson (the short-hand author), Bonynge, Caswell and 
Keib. Mr. Bonynge reported the famous Jacob Sharp and Kerr 
trials. Every line of his notes was dictated to Miss Orr, and her 
remarkable speed enabled him to furnish daily copy to the court. 
Miss Orr writes from dictation as rapidly as the average operator 
can read his notes. So accurate is her work, even at this high speed, 
that her copy is handed in without revision. In order to give an 
intelligent idea of her skill in manipulating the keys of the typewriter, 
we might state, that at a convention of typewriter dealers, held in 
New York last winter, she wrote a full line in five seconds, under 
several stop watches. In this line were sixty-five strokes, an average 
of thirteen strokes per second." 

Surely this is a rapidity almost phenomenal, and Miss Orr 
deserves all the praise that has been given her. Her success proves 
the steadiness with which she has pursued her profession, and is in 
itself a story with a moral ; but this is not the best of it all. With 
all her success, and all her contact with the world, her association 
with business men, and her own well-proved business ability— with 
all this, she has not lost one whit of her womanly dignity or her 
womanly qualities. Let her career be a lesson to those who are 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 



423 



following in her steps — a refutation to those who hold that a business 
woman imtst acquire such habits of masculinity as make her obnoxious 
to all who come in contact with her. I am even not quite sure but 
some feel confident that, could they bring themselves to stepping into 
the "offices" of the women of whom they have heard, they will find 
the occupants in the full enjoyment of the masculine privileges of 
cigar and cuspidor. Indeed, when one reflects, there is really no 
good reason that a woman should not smoke for solace, as well as a 
man, except, perhaps, that she has superior good common sense on 
this point. So the wary or fearful ones need be in no wise afraid. 
They w411 find, if they care to investigate the matter, that business 
women are very much like all other w'omen, the world over. 




CHAPTER V. 



WOMEN AS BUSINESS WOMEN. 




O women ever become thoroitgh business 
women?" is a question that many men 
have seen fit to raise, and many others, to 
assert strenuously that such is not the case. 
"I hope that the day may come when no woman 
may make the entry on her account book, ' Re- 
ceived from my husband ^50.00,' on one side^ — 
on the other, 'Spent it all,' " wrote a business man to me 
not long ago. This is not an exaggerated instance. 
There are numbers of women who could not, for the 
life of them, tell, after an account is made out, whether 
they are creditor or debtor. But, as I told my cor- 
respondent, this is a fact for which neither the wife 
herself nor her mother before her, is in any way respon- 
sible ; it is chargeable directly to the father, who has not 
given his daughters the education in business matters 
which it is every girl's right to receive at her father's hands. Men 
too seldom think of the generations of uneducated women who have 
gone before. There is nothing more surely inherited than education 
(be it in business or other branches) and a logical brain. A woman 
may inherit a logical brain from her father, but if she never receive 
such an education as shall exercise the peculiar muscles and func- 
tions necessary to its development, it becomes inert, and she does 
not transmit to her offspring that which she herself inherited. As 
the race of slaves must be educated for centuries before, as a class, 
they will be educationally as capable as the whites, so it will take 
centuries of careful training and inheritance before women, as a 
class, can hope- to hold their own in all directions with men. There 
are exceptional cases, and these are becoming more and more fre- 
quent Women are daily entering more and more into business 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. Z125 

enterprises for themselves, and making successes of them too. One 
great reason that women do not arise to the eminence of men in 
many of the paths which they have chosen for themselves, is that 
marriage interferes. A woman enters a calling, and after a few 
years, having reached a certain degree of perfection, she marries 
and drops it all. This is as it should be. The woman who does not 
expect to undertake the duties of the "Queen of Home" has no 
right to her title. But in the man's case it is different. He simply 
goes on, scaling greater heights, and each new effort means greater 
comfort to his family ; whereas, if the wife were to continue progress- 
ing in her line, it would mean confusion in the parlor and chaos in 
the kitchen. 

But "women there be" who have devoted their lives to business, 
and, as business women, have attained the same success as men. This 
is particularly noticeable among the French, where women have been 
specially successful. In America also we have many instances of 
women carrying on business alone. Among the many avenues now 
opening for women, there is none, possibly, more congenial and 
lucrative than that of "purchasing agent." There is a double 
advantage in this institution. Primarily, it furnishes occupation to 
many women ; secondarily, it in a great measure does away with an 
abiding nuisance, that of being annoyed by one's friends to make 
small purchases. Now, no woman is so selfish, perhaps, that she 
is not willing to do a favor for a friend, but there are other women 
who are confined to the house all the time, and thus, though not 
lacking the money for their purchases, do lack the necessary time 
and opportunity required to make them. Or, perhaps they only 
lack the required taste and ability to select that which is not only 
appropriate but becoming. What way has there been, then, for these 
victims of circumstance or inheritance, but to depend on some more 
fortunate friend ? The very friend selected would, probably, be the 
very one to whom no remuneration could be offered for the service 
performed. There was nothing left, by way of recompense, but a 
gift now and then, which to the receiver would seem extravagantly 
disproportionate to the small service rendered, while, at the same 
time it was, in the estimation of the giver, impossible to come at 
anything like a just money value for the service received. Thus 
there was always such an uncomfortable balance of accounts be- 
tween the two parties, that, in many cases, friendly relations became 
strained. 



426 QUEEN OF HOME. 

An enterprising woman set her wits to work, and having the 
couraore of conviction, stated to her friends that she was hereafter 
prepared to make all purchases, but on a business foundation only. 
Her friends saw the justice of it, and to-day the business of purchasing 
for others is one of magnitude. So great a business has it become, 
that many people even put the whole furnishing of a house into the 
hands of others whom they consider more competent than themselves. 
But do not fancy that, because you desire to do this thing, you are 
necessarily competent. In the selection of this for your life-work, 
you must look at your fitness in precisely the same way as in any 
other' The woman who undertakes this work must possess taste, a 
sense of harmonious color and outline, a sense of congruity, tact, 
a knowledge of the world and its doings, and, above all, the capacity 
to shop to the greatest advantage. 

The purchasing agent must possess every one of these qualities, 
because, very often, her main work in the contract, will be to give 
advice. A woman will write to her: 'T have a parlor so long, so 
wide, so high ; it is painted in old-fashioned blue ; what shall I do 
with it? I have only so much money to spend." It is not every 
woman who can, upon such an indefinite call as that, evolve a har- 
monious whole for the sum to be expended. This is proved by the 
fact that the woman who has the money to spend, finds herself un- 
qualified. But to the woman who possesses the requisite qualities, 
there is a future of competence. 

To know just how to dress a woman one has never seen, requires 
a certain amount of intuition that many women, but not all, by any 
means, possess. Many know nothing about dressing even themselves. 
Did you ever, for instance, note women hunting for a bonnet ? One 
woman will try on all possible shapes and styles and colors, and 
stand before the glass studying the effect, only in the end to pur- 
chase some incongruity, that an infant could have told her was 
unsuitable for her years, or her station, or her face, or possibly, all 
three, while about one out of ten will come in, give a glance 
round at the shapes, and know at once, without ever seeing her face 
beneath it, exactly which one of those bonnets she can wear best. 
Just this tact is needed by the purchasing agent. She should obtain 
from her client all possible points of information, and, bringing her 
natural sense, intuition, tact and judgment to bear on this knowledge, 
should be able to produce such wonderfully pleasing effects and 
combinations as will make for her a steadily increasing clientele. 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 427 

Let her do nothing rashly ; if she is uncertain about a point, let her 
expend an extra stamp, and take the trouble to have all things clear, 
rather than make one false step, which might otherwise have been 
avoided. This and kindred occupations deal mainly or solely with 
women, but there are many other occupations and businesses in 
which women are engaged, where they are dealing daily with men,, and 
are standing mentally side by side with them in their work, and are 
not suffering by the contrast. More than one woman has been a suc- 
cessful stock-broker or stock-reporter, and her work pronounced good, 
while she never for one moment lost her manner and appearance 
as a lady. 

Look at the "Teachers' Agencies," run by women, and say 
whether women have an innate capacity for business. Where will 
you find a more thorough business woman than the one at the head of 
what was once the ''Schermerhorn Teachers' Agency," in New York? 
How many Mesdames This, or Misses That, are there, who run large 
establishments, of which they themselves are head and centre, chief 
and autocrat, and where nevertheless, everything is on a strict business 
basis ? How many women are there who, when death of father or 
husband has left them with a business so involved that to sell meant 
abject poverty, to go on meant almost certain ruin, and yet who, in 
spite of this, have taken the reins in their own hands and have finally 
''brought order out of chaos ? " How many ? Thousands ! I need 
recall to you but one name to ''point my moral." Look at " Frank 
Leslie," and say again that women cannot be made to understand 
business ! 

As woman is daily being more fully recognized as a trustworthy 
assistant, she is daily being placed in positions of greater trust. She 
is more frequently seen at the cashier's desk, and is in all ways more 
frequently entrusted with large sums of money. In the Mint, many 
of the most important positions, among the weighers and filers, for 
instance, are filled by women. The government offices are full of 
women, and we hear no complaint of their inefficiency. The govern- 
ment prefers women as detectors of counterfeit money, on the ground 
that their perceptions are keener and are more to be relied upon. 

Most prominent among the employes of the government is 
Ada C. Sweet. She bears the proud distinction of being the only 
woman who was ever entrusted with the disbursement of public 
moneys. " I do not know that my career has in it any special 
encouragement for women, " she writes. " If there is any lesson 



428 QUEEN OF HOME. 

in it, it is to the effect that judicious training in practical work 
will give reasonably good results, when applied to girls, as well 
as boys. h^ * ♦ j hope my business experience will 

not have the effect of encouraging either women or men to enter 
public service. There is no work in the world so tr)dng in many 
ways, and which gives so little preparation for other business. How- 
ever, I learned the business of disbursing pensions as one would the 
banking business, or as one would study a profession, and the real 
lesson of my life, as I have before intimated, is that girls can be 
trained successfully for business and professional life." 

By her permission, I give to the world the following little sketch 
of her life, and -in the story that it tells of earnest purpose, and 
victory over adverse circumstances and the prejudices of a nation, 
may be found much that will not only be interesting, but instructive 
as well, to the thousands of women w^ho are engaged in a hand-to- 
hand fiofht with the world for existence. 

Ada C. Sweet was born February twenty-third, 1853, at Stock- 
bridge, Wisconsin, on the eastern shore of beautiful Lake Winnebago. 
She was the first-born child of a youthful pioneer couple, Benjamin J. 
Sweet and Louisa Denslow. The parents of these young people 
had moved West from Oneida County, New York State, and the 
schoolmates became lovers while they were yet young in years, and 
were married when the bridegroom was but nineteen years old. 

Ada Celeste, their first child, grew up out of doors, the friend of 
birds and of all living things of the woods that stood like a wall 
around the clearings in the wilderness. The beauty of the country 
about her sunk into her heart before she could speak plainly, and 
she remembers to this day how a snow storm looked to her when 
she was three years old — lovely as a dream sent by fairies to their 
prime favorite. The love of nature became a passion with the child, 
and remains strong in the woman. 

When the War of Rebellion began, Ada's father, who was, by 
that time, a rising lawyer and a state senator, took up arms at the 
first gun, and went forth to the war as major of the Sixth Wisconsin 
Infantry. Afterwards, when colonel of the Twenty-first Infantry, he 
was desperately wounded at Perryville, and after a fight for life, 
maimed and broken in health, took command of Camp Douglas, at 
Chicago, as colonel of the Eighth United States Veteran Reserve 
Corps. The commandant had his family with him at the camp, and 
Ada's young eyes were feasted on the pomp and show of military 



^ 



ADA C. SWEET. 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 429 

life, while, under the excitement of the scenes around her, every 
faculty expanded rapidly. She had practically had no schooling, and 
now passed through the forms of study at one or two convent 
schools, when she could be coaxed away from the camp in the winter, 
while she spent her summers in the Wisconsin woods, happy and at 
home. After the wa.r, the girl spent a winter in New York with her 
father, now become General Sweet, who had resigned when peace 
was declared. The general soon opened a law office in Chicago, 
and the family settled on a farm twenty miles from the city. Ada 
was a tall, delicate girl of fifteen, full of dreamy visions, a lover of 
music and poetry, when it dawned upon her that her father needed 
her. His right arm hung useless at his side, and he took kindly to 
the idea that his daughter should supply its place. 

There was a brood of younger children, but Ada was the only 
one old enough to "help Papa" and beginning at this time, a sweet 
and inspiring companionship grew up between the young, chivalrous 
father and his daughter, not quite twenty years younger than himself. 
How the girl worshipped her handsome, dark-eyed, soldier father, 
only those who knew the pair can understand, and her devotion was 
repaid by the most wise, tender and patient love that was ever given 
by parent to child. The brave, gentle mother helped her husband in 
the training and care of their eldest girl, cheerfully giving up the 
daily company she loved in her home, with full faith in the plans of 
those she loved. The family life was very happy, and the children 
have always been united by a more than ordinary bond of affection. 

In 1868, General Sweet was appointed by President Grant, United 
States pension agent, at Chicago. Ada entered the office with her 
father, and there she walked the treadmill of routine oJhfice duties for 
months and years, learning to do every kind of work that was to be 
done in that place. General Sweet explained the laws and the 
principles of the rulings and instructions under which the office was 
constituted and perpetuated, and was so pleased with his young 
pupil, that he soon formed the project of having her study law. 
"We will hang out a shingle some day," he used to say, and this 
will be on it, "Sweet and Daughter, Attorneys-at-Law." Alas ! the 
dream of life-long companionship crumbled too soon with his loving 
and proud heart ! 

When her father went to Washington, as first deputy com- 
missioner of internal revenue in 1872, Ada soon followed him, acting 
there as his private secretary. Here she entered a new world, and 



430 QUEEN OF HOME. 

one most interesting to her. She met the famous statesmen and 
soldiers of the time, Sumner, Grant, Sherman, Governor Morton, 
Senator ConkHng, and a thousand men of lesser note, but national 
reputation, and here she became intimately acquainted, from the 
inside, with the politics of the day. She heard the first mutterings 
of the revolt which led to Greeley's nomination, and saw that struggle 
through to the end. General Sweet never hid anything from his 
secretary, and from her quiet corner in his great room in the 
Treasury building she learned many a strange lesson in the ways of 
men. In the midst of all her expanding hopes and ambitions (they 
were all in one direction — for her father) the blow fell ; he died. New 
Year's day, 1874, his eyes closed upon this earth, after an illness of 
but four or five days. 

The stricken family lived on, and Ada soon found, in living for 
them, courage to live herself. It soon became apparent that General 
Sweet's estate would be of little value to his family; business com- 
plications really left them nothing, and at the age of twenty-two, Ada 
found herself with her delicate and grief-stricken mother, two younger 
sisters and a baby brother to care for. President Grant, a friend of 
General Sweet, heard the story of the family embarrassments, and 
knowing that Ada had conducted almost alone, at times, the business 
of the pension agency, appointed her United States pension agent, 
in March, 1874, the appointment being the first ever made by the 
United States Government of a woman to the position of disbursing 
officer. 

The duty of the United States pension agent, at Chicago in 
1874, was to pay pensions for the northern district of Illinois, there 
being at that time four agencies in the state. There were about six 
thousand names upon the roils of the Chicago agency, of pensioners 
who were paid quarterly, the annual disbursements being a little over 
one million dollars. There were six regular clerks in the office, one 
being a woman, and at the time of the quarterly payments many 
extra clerks were employed. Miss Sweet had seen enough of gov- 
ernment offices and their management, to have become a thorough 
convert to the most advanced doctrines of civil service reform. She had 
also observed, in the department at Washington, that much of the 
hardest work was done by women, and that, as a rule, the women 
were more conscientious than the men employed there, in the dis- 
charge of their duties, and had come to the conclusion that the 
reason for this fact was, not because women are all in all, more 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 431 

honest than men, but because they cannot rely upon their pohticai 
services to keep their places, and so must earn what they receive, by 
hard work. Be this as it may, it was not long before most of the 
clerks in the Chicago pension agency were women, and after a long 
and hard fight with political spoilsmen, it finally became an established 
fact that political influence did not count for much in applications for 
clerkships in this office. 

July first, 1877, President Hayes issued an order which made the 
Chicago pension office a much larger and more important one than 
it had been heretofore. - All Illinois pensions were made payable at 
Chicago, and the books, records, etc., of the Springfield, Quincy and 
Salem agencies were brought to Chicago. Miss Sweet found herself 
taxed to the utmost, to effect the consolidation of four offices into 
one, so as to make the payment for September with promptitude and 
accuracy, but the task was satisfactorily accomplished, and the new 
state of affairs soon became established so perfectly, as to bring about 
an acknowledged improvement in the manner of disbursing pensions. 
From this time on, the business and the load of responsibility con- 
nected with the ofifice constantly grew, and the yearly disbursements 
increased from one million dollars to four, five and six millions. 
Miss Sweet continued to give her own entire attention to the busi- 
ness of her office. The clerical force grew to be a large one, and 
the agent, in making appointments, almost invariably chose one of 
her own sex. She maintained a rule, however, that, in any case, such 
new clerk should begin at the foot of the ladder, and as he or she 
became more useful, the pay w^as increased, and in no case was there 
any difference between the quantity and quality of the work de- 
manded of a man or a woman, nor was there any difference between 
their pay. 

In 1878, when her four years' term expired, President Hayes 
reappointed Miss Sweet, although she had many strong contestants 
for the place. In 1882, she was again reappointed, by President 
Arthur, after a struggle with the friends of ambitious politicians. 
Miss Sweet always found strong friends among the ablest men in 
Illinois, and even among politicians who confess themselves as spoils- 
men ; and she needed such friends, for without them she could never 
have stood up under the constant war waged upon her, first, because 
she was a woman in a high salaried position, and second, because 
she would not run her office as a political machine. Generosity 
flourishes in unexpected places, and to the generosity of a few of 



432 QUEEN OF HOME. 

the most ardent advocates of "the machine" in lUinois, Miss Sweet 
will always be indebted for her chance to run her office on anti- 
machine principles. 

The Presidential election of 1884 saw Miss Sweet's party turned 
from power. She had a year to serve on her commission, and hoped 
to be allowed to serve it out peacefully, when she expected to retire 
from public office. Early in April, 1885, however, occurred an epi- 
sode which has been misunderstood quite as much by Miss Sweet's 
friends, perhaps, as by those who criticised adversely her action at 
this time. 

The new commissioner of pensions, hardly well settled in his 
chair, sent a telegram to Miss Sweet, asking her to send him at 
once her resignation, to take effect July first, 1885. He, in the 
same message, declared that he made this request ''for no reason 
personal to Miss Sweet, nor to her management of her office." 
Miss Sweet was naturally surprised at such a request, made by tele- 
graph, from an officer recently appointed by a President who had 
declared his intention to make no removals except for cause. She 
knew, also, that the commissioner of pensions had no right to 
interfere in any way with the appointment or dismissal of- pension 
agents, who are appointed by the President. She appealed to Pres- 
ident Cleveland by telegraph, and he sustained her in the position 
she had taken, and nothing more was ever heard from the com- 
missioner of pensions on the subject. 

Miss Sweet gained her point easily, it would appear to an 
outsider, but the storm of public comment evoked by her refusal 
to resign, and the evident hostility of the pension commissioner, 
combined to make her seek for another field of activity, and in 
September, 1885, she sent her resignation to the President, in order 
that she might accept a promising business engagement in the East. 
In November, 1885, she left Chicago, and became immersed in her 
new venture in New York City, where she worked all winter with 
all the energy there is in her nature. The next spring, feeling the 
strain of long years of constant toil, care and anxiety telling upon 
her, she went to Europe and took a long needed rest. Upon her 
return to this country. Miss Sweet devoted herself to writing, taking 
the position of literary editor of the Chicago Tribune. Literature 
has always been her main solace and delight, and her writings are 
known favorably at least to her friends. At present the pension 
department again absorbs Miss Sweet's attention. In September, 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 



433 



1888, she opened a claim office in Chicago, and her success is 
already assured. Her experience in the pension department, and 
her large acquaintance among ex-soldiers and the families of soldiers, 
combine to give her all the work she can do, to assist claimants to 
present their cases to the Government. 

New domestic sorrows have been met during the years since 
Miss Sweet lost her father. Her beloved mother was killed in a 
railway accident in 1878, and in 1887 she lost one of her sisters. 
She is left now with one, sister and a brother, the youngest two of 
her father's family, to whom she is devoted as only those sisters can 
be who have been both father and mother to the fledgelings of the 
home-nest. She has proved to the world that a woman may be a 
''thorough woman"— may retain all the graces of true womanhood 
— may be quite as much "mother" as "father" to those under her 
charge — and may still be a representative business woman. 




28 



CHAPTER VI. 



THE TRAINED NURSE. 




HERE is, perhaps, no occupation undertaken 
by women, in which the requirements are so 
thoroughly misunderstood by the aspirant, as 
in that of trained nursing. It seems to be the 
general impression that, given a young woman 
with an incentive and a desire to become a 
trained nurse, with a few months' work, the 
trained nurse is an accomplished fact. There seems 
to be no idea of peculiar fitness for the calling, 
whereas, in reality, there is nowhere an occupation to 
be found that should be entered into with more riorid 
self-examination. It is so ''genteel," thinks the young 
girl, and the "cunning little caps are so becoming." 
She sees herself, in a becoming cap, "bathing the 
brow of some fevered patient," or carrying some 
delicacy on a dainty tray to the invalid. Or, perhaps, 
she pictures to herself the gratitude of the family, 
when, by some especial piece of skill upon her part, she shall have 
brought to a successful termination, a violent illness. She has 
always heard that so much more depended on the nurse than on the 
doctor ! To be one of these is her ambition, and in her visions of 
the future, she herself is the central object in the sick-room. This 
sounds harsh, perhaps, and perhaps exaggerated, but it is neither ; I 
only speak of the mistake that many make who imagine themselves 
particularly adapted to this calling. All honor to the many noble 
women, who have faced bravely the discomforts and hardships of 
their positions, and have gone on steadfastly to the end, thinking not 
of themselves — only of the precious life which it is their province to 
try to help save. Let us study the prerequisite conditions a little. 
Says Dr. Fisher: "The good nurse must have good, vigorous, 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 435 

general physical health. She must be free from nervousness. She 
must have good hearing and sight. She must be of gentle manners, 
even temper and cheerful disposition. She must be willing and 
active, and ready to submit to trying, monotonous work. She must 
be of blameless character and settled habits. She must be of pure 
mind. She m.ust be neat, clean, orderly, systematic and thorough — 
especially neat and clean in person. She must have a fair, general 
education (knowledge of the fundamental branches), and be of quick 
intelligence. She must not be too fastidious to encounter soils, 
stains or odors. She must be free from alcoholic or opium habit. 
She should not breathe heavily when awake, nor snore when asleep. 
She should be possessed of the highest quality of discretion." 

Quite an array of necessities, you see, yet anyone who has studied 
the subject at all, can see the positive necessity of each requisite. 
Of them all, perhaps, none is more important than the one which 
declares that she must be willing and active, and ready to submit to 
trying and monotonous work. One of the greatest difficulties, I 
am told, with which the trainers meet, is insubordination upon the 
part of the students. This would be a comparatively small matter 
if it ended here, because the student could merely be removed and 
someone better qualified be given her place. But physicians meet 
with this same spirit in the nurses who have been graduated and are 
nursing under them. Many young women who have been graduated 
as nurses, seem to consider that they know everything, and if, in 
their wise judgment, a given order seems arbitrary, they relegate to 
themselves the right to do otherwise. Sometimes this takes place 
at a period much more critical than the nurse imagines, and the 
result is disastrous. It is needless to say that disobedience to 
physicians' orders is equivalent to incompetence. A trained nurse 
should be an intelligent machine. Intelligent when her intelligence 
and judgment are required — a machine when they are not, and only 
strict obedience to orders is needed. But this same physician adds : 
''Though a woman finds herself qualified in all the foregoing, she is 
not yet a nurse, even though she has nursed satisfactorily in a 
number of cases." 

Why must a nurse be trained to be efficient ? Why can she not 
train herself? Why is not a woman who has nursed many cases a 
trained nurse? are questions sometimes asked. Because, first, by 
reason of her affections, her judgment has been biased — she has 
either been led by her hopes to take an optimistic view of the cases, 



436 QUEEN OF HOME. 

or by her fears, to take a pessimistic view. In the latter case, her 
care has been exaggerated, and in many cases, wholly unnecessary. 
In the former, her hopes have led her, perhaps, to relax a vigi- 
lance that was of the utmost importance. She has learned just 
so much, or so little, as each case has presented to her, and her 
premises from these experiences are often of the falsest kind. The 
physician will listen gravely to her views, or account of the patient, 
and will wonder, meanwhile, if such things can be and the patient 
still live. Then she is called, perhaps, to nurse a neighbor, and she 
must unlearn all she has previously learned. She immediately forms 

the conclusion that Dr. does not know as much as her own 

family physician, and probably, if she is more than usually indiscreet, 
she will say so. All this complicates matters very much, and the 
physician finds that she, who should have been his valuable ally, is 
an enemy in the camp, or, at best, performs but grudgingly the 
services that he asks of her. She will also, probably, entertain her 
patient with a dissertation upon her own knowledge of drugs and 
diseases, all of which is detrimental to the patient, and more than 
annoying to the attending physician. 

Schools for the regular training of nurses are to be found in all 
large cities, and if, after having made a rigid self-examination in 
regard to the foregoing requisites, the young woman feels herself so 
far qualified for her work, as to make her wilhng and anxious to 
attempt it, let her then examine carefully into the list of requirements, 
as given by the same physician. ''The course is usually a graded one, 
and examinations are held to ascertain the pupil's qualifications for 
advancement. Let no prospective applicant shrink from the amount 
of work nor be shocked at the kind. The following list may enlighten 
those not familiar with the subject, in all of which the pupil must 
attain a fair proficiency before graduation : 

Application of bandages and padding of splints. 

Making beds, cleansing patients and utensils, and changing bed- 
linen without disturbing the occupant. 

Arranging positions, preventing bed-sores and dressing them. 

Manner of applying frictions, duration and repetition. 

Application of cups and leeches. 

Making and applying fomentations, poultices, blisters, etc. 

Dressing of wounds, bruises and sores. 

Administration of enemata. 

Use of the catheter. 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 437 

Giving baths, general and partial — their temperature, duration, 
etc. Vapor and medicated baths. 

Ventilation. 

Disinfectants — their preparation and use. 

Methods of ascertaining and noting pulse, respiration and 
temperature. 

Methods of preventing hemorrhage from wounds, and stopping 
hemorrhage. 

Proper procedure in emergencies and accidents. 

General condition of patient's appetite, tongue, mucous mem- 
brane, skin, secretions, etc. 

Effects of medicines and foods, 

Special fever nursing. 

Special surgical nursing. 

Special nursing of heart and lung diseases. 

Special nursing of diseases of the alimentary tract. 

Knowledge of domestic remedies. 

Feeding and preparation of foods. 

Study of elementary anatomy and physiology. 

Hospital housekeeping — care of linen, etc. 

Massage and Swedish movements. 

''Lectures are given by the physicians in charge and by the head 
nurses, and by specialists upon special subjects. Very few books 
are required, and only such as shall be recommended by those in 
charge of the school. During the whole period of study, an allow- 
ance per month is made to the pupil nurse, which, if carefully 
expended, will be sufficient to provide her clothing. The discipline 
is rather rigid in the schools ; but no woman of from twenty-four to 
thirty, who is preparing for her life-time work, will require to be 
forced into good behavior." 

You see the requirements are not small, nor the course of study 
of a trifling kind, even though few books are needed. Only those 
who mean to make it a life-work, or who expect to throw into it the 
very best that is in them, should undertake it. 




CHAPTER VII. 



ARTS AND SCIENCES. 




^jTEADILY as women are advancing in all directions, 
in none are they gaining- more recognition than in 
the arts and sciences. And nowhere do we find 
greater evidence of this advancement than in the 
fact that departments have been established in 
the public schools, for the instruction of girls as 
well as boys, in all the arts of the present day. 
The schools of manual training open these fields 
to girls as well as boys, and the work done — the good 
work done by the girls — shows that they are quite as 
apt as the boys in acquiring the knowledge and re- 
quired deftness. We find classes for instruction in 
drawing, designing, hammering brass, clay and putty 
modeling, wood-carving and all kindred studies. 

''Drawing and designing ! " some one repeats ; "are 
they not the same thing ? If one can draw, cannot one 
design, without further instruction?" Not by any 
means. Designing is a separate study — a thing of 
itself — to which a knowledge of drawing is merely the initiatory 
step. And not only that, but the artist for each separate branch 
of designing, must undergo a special course of instruction. For 
example, a designer of wall-papers is not, by any means, a designer 
of carpets. To become an expert, one must not only understand 
the combination of colors and the correctness of lines, but the 
construction of the fabric for which the design is intended. A 
design meant for a curtain could not possibly be utilized upon a 
wall-paper, without much modification and adaptation to the new 
purpose. 

A young girl, of no mean ability as an artist, was once ap- 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 439 

preached by a large carpet firm, to furnish for them designs to be 
used in their factory. To which she repHed : 'T can give you no 
designs until I have first visited your factory, have thoroughly 
inspected the work, and have comprehended, as far as in me lies, the 
method of constructing carpets from the very foundation." To this 
the firm would not hear. They never, under any circumstances, 
permitted anyone to visit their works. "Very well then, gentlemen," 
was her reply, 'T decline your proposition. No good work can be 
done in designs unless the artist thoroughly comprehends the me- 
chanical work, the purposes of which the design is to serve." She 
could ill afford to lose the engagement, but she could still less afford 
to take up her work in any but the very best way. No one can 
afford to do that. It does not pay in the long run. Designing is 
work that pays well, providing the student becomes an expert, but, 
like everything else, to be an expert requires long, close application 
and natural talent. A student cannot elect herself to be a designer 
any more than she can choose to be a musician without the required 
talent. 

One of the paths in which women are making considerable head- 
way, is in wood-engraving, though, "As yet," writes John P. Davis, 
teacher of engraving. Cooper Union, New York City, "the number 
of women who have followed wood-engraving until it led to any 
proficiency is very small. The reason for this is not inherent in 
the vocation itself; for similar reasons may be found operative in 
debarring the progress of women in all other occupations save 
those of a purely domestic nature. I shall have no difficulty, how- 
ever, in making you a list of half a dozen, as you request; so I 
shall not trouble you with the reasons why there are not more 
of them. 

Miss Caroline S. Powell shall head the column by priority in 
years and achieved results. She has worked at engraving for 
more than twenty years ; was a pupil of W. J. Linton, at the 
time he had charge of the Cooper Union school, and subsequently 
of Mr. T. Cole. She is a member of the Society of American 
Wood Engravers. Her work is principally seen in the Century 
Company's publications. 

Miss Edith Cooper, easily the second, and a very close second, 
has worked at engraving for the past fifteen years. She also began 
at the Cooper Union school, but has been mostly under my own 
instruction. She paints and draws ; is a member of the Art Students' 



440 QUEEN OF HOME. 

League and assistant teacher of engraving at the Cooper Union. 
Her work is seen in many important illustrated publications, beside 
in all the magazines. 

Miss M. J. Whaley is probably entitled to the third place. I do 
not know where she learned. She came to New York from California. 
She works for the Century and Scribner's magazines. She draws 
and paints, and is a member of the Art Students' League. 

Miss Margaret Jones, a pupil of the Cooper Union school, has 
worked for about twelve years at engraving. Her work appears 
occasionally in the Century and Scribner's, but she is mostly engaged 
at illustrated paper and commercial work. She is a proficient 
draughtsman, having studied in the antique and life classes of the 
Art Students' League. 

Miss Angelina Waldeyer, a pupil of Cooper Union, has worked 
at engraving for about twelve years. Studied drawing at the 
National Academy of Design. Works for Century and for com- 
mercial purposes. 

Miss Hart; a pupil of Cooper Union. Engaged as local 
draughtsman and engraver by a silver-plate manufacturing company 
at Meriden, Connecticut. Doing excellent work of the kind — com- 
paring favorably with the best men in the same line. 

Miss M. L. Owens, a pupil of Miss Powell, whose work is seen 
in the Century Company's publications. 

Miss Flora Stiegleman, of Olive Hill, Indiana. Pupil of Cooper 
Union engraving school, and of drawing classes of the Art Students' 
League. Working at present on florists' catalogues. 

Miss Lienor Wragg, of Charleston, South Carolina. A pupil 
of the Cooper Union school. At present engaged extensively in 
commercial and mechanical engraving. 

In the Cooper Union classes — which figure rather largely in my 
report, because it is a very prolific source of women workers in 
art, and about the only one of women wood-engravers — there are 
excellent pupils who graduate this term as full-fledged engravers, 
and, doubtless, will soon be heard from. In fact, one. Miss Rebecca 
Shipman, of Vermont, has already done much good work for en- 
gravers in Boston. 

I cannot close even so slight an account of the good work done 
by women engravers of our country, without reference to that of 
Miss Alice Barber, of your own city. It is likely she never takes a 
graver in her hand in these later years, but the time was when we 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 441 

had looked to her for achievements equal to our best men. She 
chose the easier road to glory, however, and shines among the most 
promising American painters. She had at least one pupil, Miss 
Willoughby, who promised well, and who must be known among you 
if she still engraves. Philadelphia may contain other women practi- 
tioners of engraving, as Mr. C. P. Williams, an excellent engraver, 
has been teaching there for some years. 

I have complied as closely as possible with your request, and 
the reason why I have failed in diffusing my examples more widely 
over the country is their fault, not mine. No matter where our 
pupils hail from, they show equal reluctance to leaving New York." 
I may add to this a letter received from Miss Cooper herself, in 
relation to her art 

1300 Broadway, New York, 
April 20, 1889. 
Mrs. E. C. Hewitt : 

Dear Madam : — Mr. Jno. P. Davis has handed me your request for a few lines 
on my experience as a wood-engraver, which I herewith append. 

In learning the art of wood-engraving, I, like most others who only judge a 
business from the success that has been made, and not understanding the long and 
weary struggle of years that has brought the success, thought it looked simple enough, 
just cutting lines, and with application, which I was willing enough to give, it would 
not take long to earn a good living. This is the experience of most of those 
who take up the business, whether they are sixteen or fifty years of age; for engraving 
has such a deceptive appearance, that ladies of the latter age have made inquiries, and 
some have even made an attempt to learn it, thinking it could be as easily taken up 
as crochet-work, and would pay much better ; but experience of many years has taught 
how vain any such expectation is. It is one of the most difficult of the arts to 
acquire ; a knowledge of drawing and painting is necessary, and constant practice of, 
not two or three hours daily, but seven or eight all the year round ; and if, after four or 
five years' practice of this kind, one is fortunate enough to command work in compe- 
tition with the hundreds of men who have already gone through the hardships of 
learning, she has done remarkably well. 

In comparing engraving with other branches of business that women take up, 
it is one of the pleasantest, for its variety of subjects, and the delight of being able to 
translate beautiful paintings into black and white, if one really cares to take the 
highest branch of the art and compete with fine etchings. Even the ordinary book 
illustrations, though only drawn in black and white, are generally done by artists 
whose work it is a pleasure to reproduce. 

In regard to the amount earned, the fabulous accounts which have been reported 
from time to time, have misled many into believing that after spending three or four 
years in practice, work would pour in on them without any trouble to themselves, and 
sums ranging from twenty to fifty dollars a week could easily be made. One lady 
even thought she would be satisfied if she made twenty dollars a week after giving six 
months of her precious time, but suddenly departed when she found her self-sacrifice 
was not appreciated. 



442 QUEEN OF HOME. 

The reality, I am sorry to say, is far different. It requires much patient hunting 
for a little work, and if one manages to average ten dollars a week after four or five 
years" practice, it is all she can expect. If she continues her study, becomes known 
among the different publishers for excellent work, her income will increase, and after 
fifteen or twenty years may reach the large sum of twenty-five or thirty dollars a 
week ; or, if she is a rapid worker, still more. 

Of course there are exceptions here and there, in cases of great business tact, 
rapidity and excellence of workmanship ; but, as a rule, women have not had the self- 
reliant training necessary to compete with men, who from childhood have learned to 
depend on themselves, and it takes a long time to acquire. 

In saying this, I do not wish to discourage women from learning the art of wood- 
engraving, but to open their eyes to the difficulties which stand in their way, but 
which- can be overcome by a person of energy, patience and much natural tact in 
taking advantage of favorable circumstances. 

Yours very truly, 

Edith Cooper. 

It may readily be seen that the ''path of glory" In this pr-o- 
fession is no easier than that in any other, and that it requires the 
same indomitable perseverance, the same exercise of will and energy, 
to insure ultimate success. 

In the higher branches of art but one or two need be men- 
tioned, for the world knows them all. With Harriet Hosmer as 
sculptor, Rosa Bonheur as painter, Maud Humphreys and Ida 
Waugh, as illustrators of the highest type, the capacity of woman, as 
woman, to meet the demands made upon her by devotion to some 
oarticular art, cannot be denied. 

Women, have, as yet, not become prominent to any degree, as 
scientists, except in rare cases, as, for instance, Caroline Herschell 
and Prof Mitchell, so well known as astronomers, but they have 
attained such proficiency as to have become most careful and suc- 
cessful teachers, and in almost all the schools of the present day, 
we find women teachers of all the highest branches ; and the day 
may yet come when, as scientists, they will be prominent by reason 
of the good work they have done. The inventors among women 
are many. Most of their inventions are in the line of household 
conveniences, it is true, but there are instances where the invention 
has taken a much more scientific turn. It was a woman, for in- 
stance, whose invention prevented noise in the machinery of the 
elevated trains in New York — a noise which had baffled all the 
engineers. The wife of one engineer first inquired in regard to 
the cause, and then rode backwards and forwards on the trains till 
there was suggested to her mind a remedy. It was proposed to 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 



443 



the company and accepted, and it stands to-day chronicled as an 
invention of great importance in the Une of mechanics. 

Why should there not be more of such achievements ? What is 
invention ? It is merely the suggestion of improvement over an old 
method ; and as women are more and more versed in the laws of 
mechanics, physics and all kindred topics — as they learn more and 
mxore, scientifically, of cause and effect — why should they, too, not 
learn to look in their own brains for hitherto unheard-of means for 
overcoming difficulties that have baffled all effort so far. Someone 
must discover a remedy for the evil, or a better and quicker plan 
of accomplishing some simple daily task ? Why not some woman ? 




CHAPTER VIII. 



DENTISTRY. 




HORRID ! So masculine ! " exclaims some igno- 
rant girl who aspires to be distinctly feminine. 
But a glance at the profession of dentistry as it 
really is, will soon disabuse the sensible of all 
real objection to the profession ; and those 
devoid of good, sound, common-sense are better 
out of it than in it. 
There is no profession wherein a valuable servant 
of more real value than in that of dentistry. A 
young woman forced to seek a livelihood felt a great 
desire to enter dentistry. Advisedly, I do not say 
''desired to become a dentist," because that was hardly 
her defined object, as witness her interview with her 
superior: 

"Tell me your object in coming to me," said the 
D. D. S. 

" I wish to enter your office as assistant." 

" But what do you mean to do with your work ? Do you wish to 
set up an ofhce for yourself when you become proficient ? I ask 
these questions because the replies influence our relations in a 
degree." 

She hesitated a moment, and then replied frankly: 
'T hardly know just exactly how far I may go in the end. I 
feel that there is a field for women dentists, the more especially in the 
treatment of children. I think a woman understands or would 
understand interesting and amusing children, so that half the terrors 
of ' going to the dentists ' would be removed, and the patient be 
much more tractable. But I had not reached so far as that in my 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 445 

mind. At present, and perhaps for years to come, I desire to be 
only a valuable servant. There are too many already who desire to be 
master or mistress, and I am convinced that there is a great field for 
valuable servants. I desire to be one." 

And in her position as assistant (which was assumed the next 
day) she was invaluable. , It would be perfectly impossible, in a 
treatise like this, to give any idea of the duties incumbent upon a 
woman in that position ; for they are varied entirely according to the 
requirements of the particular employer with whom the worker's lot 
is cast. 

There is one thing, however, that is more valuable in a private 
assistant than almost any other, and that is discretion. In all busi- 
nesses there are certain professional secrets, as well as those of a 
more intimate nature — certain little family disturbances — that are, 
necessarily, more or less brought to the notice of anyone taken in so 
intimately as is a dental assistant, and unless a woman can make up 
her mind that, pre-eminently, loyalty to her employer is her motive 
power, let her abandon all thought of taking up this, or any other, 
position of trust. The woman who works for what she receives, who 
merely does her daily duty, without thought of bettering in any way 
the work around, without any ingenuity to devise or head to plan 
improvements in her own work or in that of her employer, is not the 
one for a position of trust. 

I have said it was impossible to give any adequate description 
of the duties of a dentist's assistant, but you may rest assured 
that for a long while it will consist of tasks which are not only disa- 
greeable, but perhaps positively repulsive. But the time will come 
when the science of it will dawn on you, and there will not only be 
satisfaction, but positive pleasure, when you are permitted to per- 
form some delicate task by yourself. As an assistant once said, 'T 
do not know any one moment in my life that was more filled with 
solid satisfaction than the one in which I was permitted to take the 
cast of a child's mouth, and knew that I had done it successfully, and 
in a way worthy of commendation from my employer — a man not 
easily pleased by any means." 

There are one or two things, however, that are absolute requi- 
sites, before even thinking of entering the profession of dentistry 
in this way : 

First, nerves that are not easily unstrung, or at least such as 
may be controlled by strong effort, for the time being. 



446 QUEEN OF HOME. 

Second, power and will to do anything, no matter how dis- 
agreeable the task may be. 

Third, keen sight. 

Fourth, insight into character. ' ~ 

Fifth, a steady hand. 

Sixth, power of endurance, as the assistant may be obliged to 
stand almost without change of position for two or three hours at a 
stretch, during difficult operations. 

Seventh, a good education — more than what is called common- 
school. The dentist's assistant will always be called upon to keep 
more or less of the employer's books, and will be expected to con- 
duct the main body of his correspondence. Therefore, an absolute 
knowledge of letter-writing, in all its branches, is one of the requisites. 

Of course, if the aspirant enters college at once, the course will 
be entirely different ; but it is strongly to be recommended, that any- 
one desiring to finally have an office of her own, shall, before going 
to college, spend a certain term of apprenticeship in the office of 
some already established, reliable D. D. S. 

It would seem that the practice of dentistry was far more 
suited to woman than that of medicine, for various reasons. 

In the first place, the work does not require the exposure to 
inclement weather, which is necessary in the life of a conscientious 
physician. In the second place, the hours are better adapted to her 
physical requirements. Though the continued physical strain is 
greater for the moment, the working day is necessarily short, as day- 
light is required for operating. The mechanical work, of course, 
must be performed after the hours for operating are over, but it is a 
change of occupation, and even then the working hours are much more 
a matter of choice with the D. D. S. than with the M. D. The physi- 
cian is the servant of the people ; the people are the servants of 
the dentist. If one has a tooth to be filled, he must await the 
dentist's pleasure for a disengaged half-hour, or hour, as the case 
may be, but if any other part of his body fail in its proper functions, 
the physician must come now, be it night or day, sunshine or storm, 
summer or winter, to minister to his ill. Therefore, as before 
stated, as a profession for women, that of dentist offers greater 
independence. 

It is a path which many are treading or desiring to tread, and 
though, as yet, Frau Hirschfeld Tiburtius is the only one who has made 
a real mark in the profession, there is no reason why, with advanced 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 447 

education and increased advantages, many more women may not 
stand side by side with her in her eminence. 

Dr. Olga Newman, herself a well-known dentist of New York, 
has recently given to the world a short treatise on this subject, and 
this treatise she has kindly placed at my disposal. As it gives a 
clear and concise account of woman's history in dentistry, I will leave 
her to tell the story in her own words. 

''Though the profession of dentistry has had women among its 
members for the last seventeen years, it may be considered as one 
of the comparatively new occupations for women, and one which is 
as yet to receive the stimulus of popularity. It seems strange that 
with all the American woman's propensity, and her readiness to 
adopt and adapt the new, the first incentive to woman's studying 
dentistry should have come from abroad. In 1867, a Mrs. Hirsch- 
feld, now Dr. Tiburtius, came to Philadelphia, with letters of intro- 
duction, to seek admission to the Pennsylvania Dental College. The 
Board of Trustees at the time had among its prominent members 
Drs. Truman and Pierce, both men of recognized ability, friends of 
progress and the advanced education of women. Through the influ- 
ence of these two gentlemen, who afterwards became her staunch 
friends, the young woman finally gained admission to the college and 
graduated with honors in 1869. Hers was the path of most pioneers. 
As one of her classmates, whom I met two summers ago, told me, it 
was a great strain, and using his own words, he confessed : 'When 
Dr. Tiburtius first entered the college we were almost all opposed to 
the new issue — opposed to a woman's presence in our midst — opposed 
to her as the first one whom we supposed would curtail our advan- 
tages. Her quiet manner, earnest ways, and ability to cope with 
each and all of us, soon imbued us with the utmost respect and 
deference ; and, glancing back, I do not know but that I must confess 
it was she who first weaned me from youth, and inspired a manly 
mode of thought.' 

Dr. Tiburtius' success in her own country, to which she re- 
turned, is in itself a sufficient testimonial of woman's capacity to 
become a dentist. She has had an income from her practice amount- 
ing to fully $10,000 a year, and selected her patients from among 
the highest social class in Berlin — the German Crown Prince and 
family among the number. Slight of stature, and to all outward 
appearance fragile, she has nevertheless all these years been a 
most thorough and conscientious practitioner, without shirking one 



448 QUEEN OF HOME. 

iota her duties as wife and mother. From her the impetus has 
gone forth, and this is probably the reason why dental colleges, 
heretofore, have had more German than American women students. 
And wisely, these foreign women, whose scope of occupations is 
infinitely more limited than ours, have availed themselves of the 
privilege. 

In 1870, the first American woman, a resident of Philadelphia, 
then only eighteen years of age, became an applicant for admission at 
the Pennsylvania College. It seemed then as if her nationality were to 
prove a barrier. She was refused entrance to one of the lecture 
courses ; she, as well as her supporters, annoyed and harassed, 
until, nothing daunted, she allowed the issue to become one of legal 
inquiry, and the justification of her presence at college, as well as at 
every lecture, settled beyond a doubt by the courts. Dr. Annie 
Romborger has now a practice of $5,000 a year, coping with two 
other lady dentists in the same town. Her ability and excellence of 
workmanship have earned for her several medals, among them one 
awarded by the Centennial Committee. 

With these two women as signal examples, we glance through 
the lists of graduates and as yet are able to record no failure. There 
are women students to-day at two of the Philadelphia dental col- 
leges, their admission to the University of Pennsylvania being merely 
a question of time. 

Ann Arbor has several women students every year in its 
dental course, and my own College, the Pennsylvania College of 
Dental Surgery, has had many women students. 

Having answered the requirements for admission, the first duty 
of the student, after entering the college, is to familiarize herself with 
the new surroundings, the plan of studies, and the instruments as 
well as appliances, needed in the work. The lectures, similar to those 
delivered in the medical colleges, include anatomy, supplemented by 
practical dissection on human subjects. Physiology, Materia Medica, 
Chemistry, Prosthetic Dentistry, Dental Pathology and Therapeutics. 
All practical work is done in the clinics in charge of an efficient body 
of demonstrators. The acknowledged fact of women's admission 
seems to make them welcome. Professors, demonstrators, stu- 
dents, all treat us with the utmost courtesy, offering assistance 
where possible, and there is an existing entente cordiale, which 
reassures the women of their position. 

In the operative department the women excel. They are ear- 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 449 

nest, conscientious, painstaking and hard-working ; they appear 
especially adapted to the niceties of the work. 

There have been excellent mechanical dentists among women, 
and in Germany, where special laboratories for such work are but 
few, the women superintend and give to all mechanical cases their 
personal attention. This .department is not so cleanly, owing to the 
appliances necessary, and thus we find women preferring operative 
work. The preference does not, however, preclude their aptitude, 
as one of our professors assured me that he had proportionately 
seen quite as many women efficient in the manipulation of prosthetic 
cases as men. 

Once graduated, the hours of attendance on lectures done 
away with, the dentist finds herself or himself in a quiet office or labor- 
atory, the work of the day outlined, and in a profession, which 
though apparently a drain on the physique, is in all reality more 
restful than occupations which call one away from home. One of 
my fellow-students, an apparently delicate girl when she entered col- 
lege, told me at the end of the first year, she had never been so well, 
even though her work had seemed infinitely more arduous than what 
she had been accustomed to. My own experience has only made 
me more of a convert, and assured me of a woman's perfect physical 
fitness for this occupation. To those who ask the further, and the, to 
me, so oft^^repeated question : ' Do you feel confident of sufficient 
strength to extract teeth ? ' I would say : ' Should I doubt my 
capability or strength, there are men who make a speciality of 
extraction, and to whom such a case can be referred.' This would 
be no conce£sion of weakness or inefficiency on the part of the den- 
tist, as there are men in the profession, occupying the foremost ranks, 
who have no forceps of any description in their cabinet, and refer all 
these cases to the specialists. 

In actual practice, man and woman alike have to be guided by 
no different code of ethics than that which rules every conscientious 
life. Of the reception accorded us by the men in the profession, 
personal experience has convinced me of its being cordial and sin- 
cere. Theirs has been that perfect willingness to lend a helping 
hand, so welcome to all beginners. The First District Dental 
Society of New York, though it had no lady members on its list 
when my name was proposed, did not hesitate to accept the same. 
Invitations have been extended to visit the offices of some of the 

most capable and best known men in the profession, permitting me 
29 



450 



OUEEN OF HOME. 



to reap full benefit of all I could absorb. At all the meetings and 
public clinics thus far attended, I have invariably met with courtesy, 
and even cordiality. At a recent anniversary meeting of the above- 
mentioned society, held in this city, which was attended by some six 
hundred men, the executive committee had placed on the list of 
clinical operators the names of two women dentists, Drs. Sophie 
Feltwell, of Pittsburgh, and myself. It was a personal pride that 
women should be represented, and that the profession at large should 
recognize the new departure. 

As a reply to the varied objections put forth to a woman's 
undertaking the profession of dentistry, one can only ask for this 
general consideration — let a young woman judiciously select her 
vocation ; let her exercise all perseverance ; and in the earnest fulfill- 
ment of her task, seeming obstacles, will, as it were, remove them- 
selves. The observing of this ' eternal fitness ' will further aid in 
abolishing that class of girls who claim ' to have such an aching in 
them to be or do something uncommon, and yet a kind of awful 
assurance that thev never shall.' " 




CHAPTER IX. 



MEDICINE. 




N no branch of woman s work has there been 
greater advancement than in the profession of 
medicine. In the face of opposition on all sides 
— in the face of derision from the opposite sex 
and condemnation from their own — a few brave 
souls have held fast, and, after advancing step 
by step to honor and renown, can look back 
upon their pathway and cry " Excelsior." 
To quote Dr. Mandana F. De Hart, in the Btcsiness 
Women s journal: "They never doubted their ability 
and eminent fitness for the more arduous work of nurs- 
ing. Women were trusted to carry out with accuracy, 
through the long and tedious night-watch, the directions 
given by the doctor in his two-minute visit ; but some 
insisted that no amount of study and experience could 
enable her to give those directions, or bear the strain of 
professional life. Women were considered eminently 
fitted, both by nature and grace, to be invalids, but utterly 
unqualified for the much less difficult career of healthy and pleasant 
work. They were unquestionably born to be mothers, with all which 
that implies, of work, anxiety and agony, but lacking in the courage, 
endurance and strength necessary to assist others in labor so essen- 
tially feminine ; as if it were not much easier to recommend and 
applaud heroism than to be a hero." 

To those who deny that women have done good work — accept- 
able work in this line — let such names as Elizabeth Blackwell, Frances 
Emily White, Hannah Croasdale, Mary Putnam Jacobi and Clemence 
Lozier, as well as such specialists as Amy Barton, occulist, and the 
many other women who have made a specialty of obstetrical prac- 



452 QUEEN OF HOME. 

tice — let the work of such women as these carry the confutation of 
conviction. 

EHzabeth Blackwell may be justly considered the pioneer of 
women physicians. She was the first woman to receive a diploma 
from a regularly chartered college. Like many who have followed 
in her path, she was met on all sides by ridicule and opposition. 
Brave to the end, however, she was graduated in 1848, at Geneva, 
N. Y., her woman's tenacity standing her in good stead. So great 
was the prejudice against the course she had pursued, that it was with 
great difficulty she could obtain a boarding place or a house to prac- 
tice in, after she had been graduated. A private letter written by her 
at this time of trial, and since given to publication, gives her exalted 
motives and inspiration for her work as no one else can give them. 

*' My whole life is devoted unreservedly to the services of my 
sex," writes she. "The study and practice of medicine is, in my 
thought, but one means to a great end, for which my very soul yearns 
with intensest passionate emotion, of which I have dreamed day and 
night from my earliest childhood, for which I would offer up my life 
with triumphant thanksgiving, if martyrdom could secure that glo- 
rious end, the true ennoblement of woman — the full, harmonious 
development of her unknown nature, and the consequent redemption 
of the whole human race. Every noble movement of the age, every 
prophecy of future glory, every throb of that great heart which is 
laboring throughout Christianity, call on woman with a voice of thun- 
der, with the authority of God, to listen to the mighty summons ; to 
awake from her guilty sleep, and rouse to action ; to play her part in 
the great drama of the ages, and finish what man has begun. She is 
bound to rise, to try her strength, to break her bonds ; not with 
noisy outcry, not with fighting and complaint, but with quiet strength, 
with gentle dignity, firmly, irresistibly ; with cool determination that 
never wavers, with a clear insight into her own capacities, let her do 
her duty, pursue her highest convictions of right, firmly grasp what- 
ever she is able to carry. If the present arrangements of society 
do not admit of woman's free development, then society must be 
remodeled and adapted to the great wants of humanity." 

With such motives as these underlying her every action — with 
self set aside and only the good of her sex as a beacon light to lead 
her on, what wonder that she succeeded ! 

Realizing the necessity for advantages of education hitherto 
almost inaccessible to woman n order that they might successfully 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 453 

cope with men in competitive examination, she labored to estabHsh 
a college for women. The institution which she labored so hard and 
so successfully to found is called ''The Woman's College of the New 
York Infirmary." While laboring to aid all who desired to enter 
upon this path, she heartily discouraged all effort that was not to be 
permanent. She knew tTiat only unlimited endurance, abiding faith 
in results, unexampled patience and unshakable tenacity, would over- 
come the obstacles which beset on every side the path of the woman 
who entered this career. She knew, too, that without all these 
requisites, failure was sure. And failure meant so much to those 
who were following, and who looked to the pioneers for hope, encour- 
agement and guidance. She, therefore, only encouraged to take up 
the work, those who she felt sure had the requisite courage, and who 
intended to make of it their life work. 

To quote again from Dr. De Hart : 

"The difficulties which these women met can scarcely be real- 
ized by those who now undertake the study and practice of medicine, 
as this career has been made pleasant and honorable by these brave 
pioneers. Their motives were questioned and their characters 
assailed. Every attempt to enter the hospital clinics was opposed 
by both professors and students, who seemed to vie with each other 
in their attempts to make these women so uncomfortable that they 
would be discouraged and stay away, and thus lose all opportunities 
to become skillful. But, contrary to their expectations, this behavior 
only confirmed the women in their determination to persevere and 
obtain, under any difficulties, that knowledge which would enable 
them to minister to their own sex. The state of public opinion at 
that time, may be gathered from a letter of the Paris correspondent 
to the New York Journal of Commerce^ which appeared soon after 
Elizabeth Blackwell went to France to complete her medical edu- 
cation. 

'The medical community of Paris is all agog by the arrival of 
the celebrated American doctor, Miss Blackwell. She has quite 
bewildered the learned faculty by her diploma, all in due form, auth- 
orizing her to dose and bleed and amputate with the best of them. 
Some of them think Miss Blackwell must be a socialist of the most 
rabid class, and that her undertaking is the entering wedge to a 
systematic attack on society, by the whole sex. Others, who have 
seen her, say that there is nothing very alarming in her manner ; 
that, on the contrary, she is modest and unassuming, and talks rea- 



454 QUEEN OF HOME. 

sonably on other subjects. The ladies attack her in turn. One said 
to me a few days since : '' Oh, it is too horrid ! I am sure I never 
could touch her hand!" I have seen the doctor in question, and must 
say, in fairness, that her appearance is quite prepossessing. She is 
young and rather good-looking. Her manner indicates great energy 
of character, and she seems to have entered on her singular career 
from motives of duty, and encouraged by respectable ladies of Cin- 
cinnati. After about ten days hesitation on the part of the directors 
of the Hospital of Maternity, she has at last received permission to 
enter the institution as a pupil.' 

Looking back to those days of trial and struggle in obtaining a 
medical education, some of us recall, with singular pleasure, isolated 
instances of helpfulness on the part of fellow-students. I can never 
forget the politeness of one young man, who, while his companions 
jeered, waited behind the rest of his class, to show us the way through 
the labyrinth of halls and passages in the Blackwell's Island Hospital, 
to the lecture-room, and held the door open for us to enter. Such 
politeness to us, at that time and place, was real heroism, and made 
an impression that twenty years has not effaced. 

Little by little this opposition gave way, and finally the professor 
welcomed us. The students would sometimes take off their hats 
and stop smoking, when we entered the lecture-room, and some would 
make room for us to sit down where we could see the operations. 

It is a pleasant duty to speak, also, of our friends in the profes- 
sion who have, from the first, helped women to obtain a medical 
education, and given advice and assistance, in defiance of the edicts 
from time to time promulgated by the medical societies. They may 
never know the comfort they have given, but those whom they have 
befriended, should never fail to remember the men who helped them 
when friends were few." 

Dr. De Hart herself, from whose article I have made such copi- 
ous quotations, is a physician of long experience and recognized 
ability. She is also known in the lecture field, and her lectures are 
so fitted to the comprehension of all, that the most unscientific mother* 
cannot help being benefited by the information she has imparted. 

Dr. Maria Jakszewska, at one time associated with Dr. Black- 
well, opened a dispensary in Boston, "until now," to again quote, 
*'the New England Hospital for Women, under the entire charge of 
women doctors, is a monument to her courage and ability." 

Dr. Alice Bennett has charge of the department for women in 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 455 

the Asylum for the Insane at Norristown, and by her method of 
conducting the place in her charge, has won the highest encomiums. 

Nor are the women lights of the medical world confined to New 
York, by any means. Philadelphia has her colleges and hospitals for 
women alone, and not only this, but they are admitted as fellow- 
students to the clinics at the ''Philadelphia Hospital," which is the 
hospital connected with the Blockley Almshouse. 

The "Women's College of Pennsylvania" was founded in 1850, 
two years after that of New York. Prominent among the men who 
thoroughly believed in women as physicians, and who always gave 
the much needed encouraging word as well as assistance, was Dr. 
Isaac Comly, deceased since a few years. 

In the death of Rachel L. Bodley, A. M., M. D., the "Women's 
College " met with a serious loss. She was Dean of the college, and 
a very efficient woman in every way. Her place has been filled by 
Dr. Clara Marshall. 

In a valedictory address delivered by Dean Bodley in 1881, she 
gives some statistics that are worthy of note, as embodying opinions 
and facts to be obtained only from members of the profession them- 
selves. As early as this date (1881), women were occupying prom- 
inent positions as physicians as follows : 

'Tn our own state of Pennsylvania, one is physician in charge of 
the Woman's Hospital of Philadelphia; one is resident physician to 
the department for women in the State Hospital for the Insane of the 
South-eastern District of Pennsylvania ; one is assistant physician in 
the State Hospital for the Insane, South-eastern District of Pennsyl- 
vania ; one is assistant physician in the Pennsylvania State Lunatic 
Hospital at Harrisburg. 

In New York, one is resident physician in the Nursery and Child's 
Hospital, Staten Island ; one is assistant resident physician, same insti- 
tution ; one is resident physician of the House of Mercy for Girls,* New 
York city. Eight are assistant physicians in the Woman's Hos- 
pital of Philadelphia, and in the New England Hospital for Women 
and Children, in Boston. Besides these, several are consulting 
and visiting physicians to hospitals and charitable institutions, mem- 
bers of consulting boards ; one alumna occupies the responsible 
position of physician to the State Industrial School, Lancaster, Mass. 
Others have in the past occupied similar positions, as the position 
of resident in our own Woman's Hospital, resident in the N. E. 
Hospital for Women and Children, Boston ; in the late Mission 



456 QUEEN OF HOME. 

Hospital of Philadelphia, etc., etc. Besides this service in hospitals, 
several record themselves as resident or visiting physicians to schools 
for girls ; one as auxiliary visitor to the State Board of Charities in 
Massachusetts, etc., etc. One states that she was City Physician for 
one year to the city of Springfield, Mass. Another is now Health 
Officer to the city of Charlotte, Michigan. The frequent mention in 
the answers to this fourth question of being physician (usually with- 
out salary) to '' Erring Woman's Refuge," " Home for Unfortunate 
Women," "Orphans' Home," ''Home for Girls," "Reformatory 
School for Girls," "Infirmary for Infants," "Children's Home," 
"Home for Aged and Infirm Persons," etc., etc., suggests the wide 
and fruitful field opened by medical work to true-hearted women, 
skillful and wise physicians, wherein they may accomplish great and 
lasting good for their race." 

Previous to the delivery of this address. Dean Bodley had had 
propounded by letter, a series of eight questions to the alumnae of 
the college, of whom there were at that time two hundred and forty- 
four, thirty-two having passed away in the thirty years intervening 
since the opening of the college. To the last question, " What in- 
fluence has the study and practice of medicine upon your domestic 
relations as wife and mother?" came sixty-one replies. The answers 
of the fifty-two married ladies tabulated as follows : " Influence 
favorable, forty-five; not entirely favorable, six; unfavorable, one." 

To make a still further direct extract from the valedictory 
address : 

"Eleven unmarried ladies reply to this question, after striking 
out from the line, the words ' wife and mother.' Of these, three state 
that the study and practice of medicine have prevented marriage, 
while a fourth states definitely that she has ' remained single for rea- 
sons entirely distinct from her profession.' The following answers 
from unmarried women are given as fair specimens of the remainder : 

' Never married, but have found time and means to care for 
several orphan nephews and nieces.' 

Another : ' I hope I am more patient and persevering, withal a 
better woman than I ever could have been without the discipline which 
the study and practice of medicine has afforded me.' 

Returning to the answers of married women, because these 
possess the greater general interest, I remark that the song of do- 
mestic life, as I have listened with ear attent, has been sung in no 
minor key. In the melody (as the tabulated statement shows) are a 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 457 

few discordant notes, but these are such as a master might throw in 
to enhance the harmonies of his strain. For example, a thoroughly 
conscientious mother writes from her nursery, where three quite 
young children claim the mother's ministry. 'The study of medicine 
is of great benefit, but the practice often interferes with my duty to 
my family.' The clear, pure quality of the replies, as a whole, is 
truly exhilarating, for example : ' Purifying and ennobling. Married 
a physician since I began practice. Am the mother of a boy of eight 
years of age.' Another : ' I keep house, and care for husband and 
three children as I would if not in practice ; perhaps not quite as 
well, however.' 

Another : T have not been less a wife or mother. My duties as 
such have never been neglected. At times I may have been more 
taxed than if I had not these duties to attend to.' Another wife and 
mother, whose successful training of three children, now in adult life, 
entitles her to an opinion : ' I think if the history of the families of 
women physician^ were written it would be found that their children 
are well cared for, well trained, well educated ; all this, and house- 
hold duties not neglected. * * * Women who study medicine 
are watchful and careful.' Another: 'As wife, my duties have never 
been interfered with ; as a mother, I have been incalculably benefited. 
* * * My husband is also a physician. I am often enabled to 
assist him with his cases, both in diagnosis and treatment, and I often 
find his advice of great value to me. We are, mutually, a help to 
each other.' " 

With all due respect to the opinion of those who have tried 
practicing medicine and wifely and motherly duties at one and the 
same time, it would seem that a conscientious physician — a physician 
who should be at the beck and call of the public at all hours of the 
day and night — is hardly in a position to give to her household, and 
above all to her children, the care a mother alone should give. Who 
puts baby to bed, while Mama is seeing that someone else's baby, 
three miles away, is being relieved of the colic ? Who nurses baby 
through her croup, while Mama is administering croup medicine to 
that other baby round the corner ? 

There are many reasons by which a woman may be actuated to 
take up the practice of medicine, even after she is married, and all 
honor to the women who have made it their work in this way ; but 
for a woman who has assumed wifely duties, to continue in a course 
of labor that will necessitate the relegating of her motherly duties to 



458 QUEEN OF HOME. 

another, perhaps a servant, is all wrong, radically, emphatically 
wrong. A man who deliberately tried to run two professions would 
be derided by society and the world in general. In all its fullness 
and sacredness, ''home-making and home-keeping" is a profession 
in itself, and to try and combine with it another profession which 
naturally takes the worker away from the duties of the first, must 
naturally interfere with both. A man does not try to practice law and 
dentistry at the same time. While he pled in court, the patients 
would wait — while the patient's teeth were filled, his clients would 
wait. And yet the calls of these two professions are no more incon- 
gruous than those of mother and physician — that is, practicing phy- 
sician. Who should teach the baby its infant prattle but the mother? 
Who should teach the growing girl her housewifely duties but the 
mother ? Who should have the long hours of confidential talk with 
the maiden — the hours of reading and study together — t\iQ formation 
of the daughter s soul, in fact, but the mother ? If the mothers* lives 
be such that they must 'go out into the world and make the daily bread, 
then God help them to bear the cross ! But, from choice, let no 
mother relegate her duties to another, while she practices her science 
and knowledge away from home. 

There have been a number of students among women who have 
been actuated with more than ordinary desire to assist their sex. 
Notably among these is one from Turkey, who studied medicine 
with the express desire to. assist her sex in her own country, where 
the services of a man are rarely allowed. So rigidly excluded are 
Turkish women kept, that it is considered far more desirable that 
they should suffer all the pangs to which " human flesh is heir," than 
that they should be relieved by a man. 

A student of the college in Philadelphia, at the present time, is 
an Indian woman, who has but one desire — to help her sex among 
her own tribe. It is for this she has labored ; first, to conquer the 
English tongue, and then to be graduated as a physician — to this 
work she means to devote her life. 

A cry, too, an imploring cry, has gone up from Persia, that 
America will send to them women physicians ; for there, too, are 
they kept excluded from the assistance of man. 

The question of income derived, is one of considerable import- 
ance. Of seventy-six who were questioned in this respect, the replies 
were as follows : ''Twenty-four, as much as one thousand dollars 
per annum, and less than two thousand — twenty, as much as two 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 459 

thousand, and less than three thousand— ten, as much as three 
thousand, and less than four thousand — five, as much as four thous- 
and, and less than five thousand — three, as much as five thousand, 
and less than fifteen thousand. 

Four report sums varying from fifteen to twenty thousand per 
year, while ten report less than one thousand. The four who report 
the exceptionally large sums, are established practitioners, and have 
reported the amount each year for several years. 

These sums may probably be relied upon by the social statisti- 
cian as fair averages of the income of women physicians, since many 
are careful to state that they give only actual receipts, as indicated 
by bank-book or ledger, and several decline to attempt to reply, 
stating as the reason that they are too busy to make an accurate 
estimate, and they are unwilling to hazard a guess. Several, who 
make no estimate, reply that they are able to support comfortably 
families varying in size (frequently stating the number in family), 
father, mother an^ brothers ; mother and sisters ; several nephews 
and nieces, etc. Three alumnae, report having accumulated sums 
sufficient to permit them to retire from active service." 

I feel that I cannot close this chapter without relating, in the 
words of Dean Bodley herself, some of the struggles that such noble 
women as Dr. Ann Preston, and others, underwent to obtain for their 
sex, recognition and advantages in this profession. 

'* When the history of the Woman's Medical College of Pennsyl- 
vania shall be written, the future historian will dwell with great satis- 
faction upon the heroic support which women -here afforded women 
in the hour of extreme discouragement. When, after ten years of 
earnest effort in the pursuit of medical knowledge, it became evident 
that the doors of the renowned clinics of Philadelphia were persist- 
ently closed to women students, a serious doubt as to the possibility 
of properly educating women for the manifold duties of medical prac- 
tice arose. Without bedside teaching, didactic lectures failed of their 
high purpose. It was at this juncture that the courageous Dr. Ann 
Preston, member of the first graduating class of the College, so weak 
as to her fragile form, so strong in the might of a holy purpose, re- 
solved that clinical teaching should be had. Faithfully throughout 
one year she threaded the streets of Philadelphia and the roads of 
suburban districts. It was while thus engaged that she made this 
record in her diary : ' I went to every one who I thought would 
give me either money or influence.' As a result, funds were pledged. 



46o QUEEN OF HOME. 

influential women interested, and, in i860, a charter was obtained 
which sets forth as the object of the corporation a three-fold pur- 
pose, viz : ' To establish a hospital for the treatment of the diseases 
of women and children, for the practical training of nurses, and for 
furnishing facilities for clinical instruction to women engaged in the 
study of medicine.' Important as are the first two objects, the last 
will, in the histor)^ of the allied institutions, stand pre-eminent ; for its 
accomplishment saved the cause of medical education for women in 
Philadelphia, when it had well-nigh failed, not from lack of students, 
or of able professors, or of money, or of friends, but through lack of 
clinical instruction. 

The Scripture, 'Whosoever hath, to him shall be given,' has 
since been fulfilled in the progressive unfolding of hospital teaching 
afforded our students in other hospitals of Philadelphia, and 'the end 
is not yet.' 

Another alumna contributed to securing clinical advantages 
also, but in quite another way. She was a member of the third gra- 
duating class (1854). She had entered upon the study of medicine 
for the express purpose of going to Asia as a medical missionary. 
She is described in well authenticated documents in my possession 
as a young woman of rare gifts and graces, combining ' womanly dig- 
nity of character with refinement of manners.' Having received her 
degree as stated, she realized her unpreparedness to enter upon the 
practice of medicine in foreign lands without hospital trainings and, 
in company with other members of the class, sought access to the 
wards of the different hospitals of the city. Every effort in this direc- 
tion having failed, she applied, supported by the powerful Influence 
of Mrs. S. J. Hale, for the situation of a head nurse In the Philadel- 
phia Hospital. This she obtained, the immediate care of the wo- 
man's wards being assigned her, with access to cases of interest in 
any part of the institution. In this laborious position she faithfully 
wrought three years ; at the expiration of this time, realizing that her 
purpose was accomplished to the extent possible In her limited 
sphere, she applied to the missionary board of the church of which 
she was a member, to be sent out as a missionar}^ physician. This 
they positively declined to do, stating as a reason for denying the 
request, that the Board would not send out single women. Foiled in 
the accomplishment of this cherished purpose, and seeing no other 
way to compass her desire to carry healing mercies to the daughters 
of Asia, she remained in her position at Blockley, serving as before. 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 461 

Some years later, when Matthew Vassar was making up his corps 
of noble women for the faculty of Vassar College, the claims of this 
cultured lady were presented by influential friends. As a result, 
President Raymond invited her to occupy the chair of Physiology 
and Hygiene, and the post of resident physician in the institution 
when it should be opened, and she accepted. She resigned her 
position, and looked forward to release from arduous duties. Before 
the expiration of the term of her engagement, she was smitten with 
fever (at the time epidemic in the wards), and died an employe in 
Blockley Hospital, January 28th, 1865 ; and yet, four years after her 
death, for the first time in the annals of Philadelphia, a distinguished 
clinical lecturer, Alfred Stille, M. D., L. L. D., began his lecture in 
the amphitheatre of the same hospital in which this woman physician 
had wrought, unrecognized, seven years, with words of welcome to 
'Ladies and Gentlemen,' the class of the Woman's Medical College 
of Pennsylvania having been admitted to attendance as students of 
medicine. 

But the valuable ministry of Dr. Elizabeth G. Shattuck did not 
end here. Her rejection by a Missionary Board in 1858, because 
she was an unmarried woman, together with other cases of a similar 
character, led Mrs. T. C. Doremus, of New York, Mrs. S. J. Hale, of 
Philadelphia, and other ladies of kindred spirit in those two cities and 
in Boston, to form a society, in i860, whose express object was stated 
to be to send out single ladies as teachers or Bible-readers to the 
women of heathen lands. The society, which flourishes still after 
the death of its founders, is known as the Woman's Union Mission- 
ary Society. It may be regarded as the mother of six or more other 
missionary societies composed of women, and formed for the pur- 
pose of sending women to teach and to minister to the spiritual and 
physical needs of women in Eastern lands. Although the first 
society was organized in i860, the development of the work of these 
Associations did not justify the employment of missionary physicians 
until 1870, when a graduate of this college (class of 1869) was sent 
out by the Woman's Missionary Society of the Methodist Church. Her 
destination was Bareilly, India. This lady, Dr. Clara Swain, may be 
regarded as the first of a rapidly lengthening line of women mission- 
ary physicians, who, working in harmony with their associates in the 
zenanas of the east and the crowded abodes of China and Japan, are 
accomplishing a silent revolution in the condition of women, of which 
the world at large little dreams. 



462 QUEEN OF HOME. 

In all, eight of our graduates have engaged in this work in Asia. 
Two of these, Dr. Mary Seelye and Dr. Lucilla Green-Cheney, are 
numbered among our alumnal dead. Dr. Mary F. Seelye graduated 
in 1870, and after one year spent in the Woman's Hospital in Bos- 
ton, sailed for India, Wednesday, September 6th, 1871. Her destin- 
ation was Calcutta, where she at once entered upon her work in 
connection with the Woman's Union Missionary Society. She died 
June 9th, 1875, aged twenty-eight years. During the four years of 
her practice in Calcutta, she attained a professional success which was 
quite remarkable. Her profession and her sex proved at once a 
passport to the most secluded apartments of Hindoo dwellings. The 
gentlemen of the medical profession, native as well as English, were 
among the first to speak her praise. They freely consulted with her 
and esteemed her advice of the first importance. 

Before the close of her first year she established a child's hos- 
pital, the earliest of its kind in India, which called forth from the Cal- 
cutta papers many words of approval and encouragement. There 
was scarcely a medical man in the city who did not give it his coun- 
tenance and support. Early in the fifth month of its existence, the 
government granted to the little hospital one hundred and fifty rupees 
per month for the ensuing year. It accommodated thirty children. 
During the last year of Dr. Seelye's life there were one hundred and 
forty-five sick children in its wards. Thirteen hundred and ninety- 
five patients were treated in the dispensary, held in the hospital build- 
ing, and the number of patients visited in their homes, was eight 
hundred and sixty. In the midst of this abounding professional 
work. Dr. Seelye was stricken down. She sought rest and relief from 
the intense heat of the city, in the mountains of Northern India. 
After sixteen days' illness the telegraph wires flashed back to her 
associates in Calcutta, ' Dr. Seelye has gone home.' She was buried 
the morning after her death, just as the sun was rising upon the Hima- 
laya slopes, the pure white peaks of the snowy range looking down 
upon the lonely grave." 

But little more is to be said. Such lives as these are daily 
telling a story of bravery and patience that all may read, and, 
reading, may understand all that is meant by a noble life. 



.CHAPTER X. 



SCHOOLS, SCHOLARS AND TEACHERS. 

Progress! Progress! Progress!" has been 
more particularly the cry of the nineteenth 
century, than of any previous era. Inventions 
have been conceived, constructed and patented ; 
complicated machinery has been introduced 
everywhere, and labor has been saved to an 
(^\-^-^M^W^ -:, extent, and in a manner, that would have 

^^^^^ appalled our forefathers, could they have had 

even a glimpse of the future. Fifty years ago, a 
young man was sternly rebuked by his father, because 
he ventured the statement that he believed that, in his 
time, he would see Philadelphia built up as far as Sixth 
and Noble streets. That young man is still living, and 
the city of Philadelphia stretches miles in every direction 
beyond Sixth and Noble. What would have happened 
to that young man had he ventured to predict some 
of the improvements of to-day, I dare not conjecture. 
Of all the professions into which both men and women enter, 
that of teaching is pre-eminent in the extent of its influence. The 
teacher comes, absolutely and without question, next to the parents 
in the training of children to complete manhood and womanhood. 
Often, indeed, do they take the place of parents, when those parents, 
fail, by reason of incapacity, indolence, ignorance, or the dictates of 
fashion (supplemented by disinclination), to do their duty, or even 
to comprehend what it means. Many children depend far more on 
what "Teacher says," than they do upon what Father or Mother 
says. This arises from two causes. First — they are not with the 
teacher all the time, and the influence for the time being is much 
greater, in the same way that we frequently see, in households, the 
children obeying the father more promptly than they do the mother, 
not because the father is more judicious or more to be feared, but 
because his infrequent commands have in them none of that element 




464 QUEEN OF HOME. 

of reiteration that comes daily from the mother, who finds "Hne upon 
Hne, and precept upon precept," the only way to impress forgetful 
little minds. Second — they are fully impressed with the teacher's 
book knowledge, and there is nothing which so impresses the un- 
tutored mind of average intelligence, be .that mind possessed by 
adult or child, as ''book learning," as it is vulgarly expressed. 

If "Teacher" knows how far it is to the moon, without even 
having to stop to think — if she can tell the capital of the island of 
Java, without even opening the book — if she can predict to a cer- 
tainty that if potash and sugar, two very harmless ingredients in 
themselves, should be rubbed together, an explosion will follow — 
why, surely she must know, also, when she says that it is not good 
for Virginia, Jr., to jump rope at recess till she almost falls down in 
a fit, or for young Master Paul to race with the boys until he is red 
as a lobster, and then drink two tumblers of ice-water in immediate 
succession, or plunge his head into a bucket of ice-cold water, be- 
cause he is ''so hot." A true teacher is confidante and friend of her 
pupils, as well as instructor, and many a wrong has been righted by 
a judicious or a gentle hint upon the part of the teacher, while the 
fire was yet but smouldering. 

Through higher education, the idea, once so popular, that any 
girl who has received an ordinary (or extraordinary) education is 
qualified to teach, has been relegated to the region of the past. It 
is known and recognized that something more than mere knowledge 
is required in the would-be teacher. A man or woman, it has been 
discovered, may possess all the knowledge of a EucUd, and yet be 
unfit to teach the ordinary multiplication table ; or all the erudition 
of a Draper or a Webster, and yet be unable to convey the smallest 
iota of that knowledge, so as to be of the least benefit to the budding 
mind. Let us take into consideration the various requisites to suc- 
cessful school teaching. 

First — a certain amount of knowledge in regard to the subject 
or subjects to be taught. I say "certain amount" advisedly, because 
a teacher, with her superior training, can always keep herself ahead 
of her pupils. I am personally acquainted with two teachers, both 
of whom have kept ahead of the pupils, and one of whom has risen 
from eminence to eminence in her profession. She was, at one 
time, appointed to one of the most important offices ever held 
among teachers, over the heads of many others, both men and 
women, proposed for the position. 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 465 

Taking the knowledge for granted, then, next in order comes 
the power to impart that knowledge. After this, enthusiasm for 
the work and untiring energy in its execution. She must also be 
cognizant of, and give particular attention to, the mental peculiarities 
of each pupil. Just as with various sects in religion, one method of 
instruction will, often, entirely fail to appeal to one pupil, while, to 
another, it will be exactly what is needed. All this must the teacher 
take into consideration, and try to find some means by which this 
particular one may be reached. Let her not set the child down, even 
in her own mind, as stupid, until all means to reach the requirements 
of the case have been exhausted. Often, too, let me add paren- 
thetically, the apparent stupidity is due to want of proper vision. A 
little boy, upon trying to read, was the despair of his teacher. Spell 
he could not, or would not, as they thought, and as to learning his 
letters, there seemed to be no possibility of his ever distinguishing 
permanently the difference between them. "H" was as often called 
''Q " as anything else, and he seemed utterly indifferent to the fact that 
he had been told a hundred times of their distinguishing features. 
Finally, the teacher, feeling sure that a boy, ordinarily bright in other 
things, could not be stupid only in learning to read, concluded there 
was something the matter with his vision. She informed his parents 
of her surmise, the child was fitted with glasses, and at the end of a 
month had conquered the difficulty. ''Why, Mama !" he exclaimed, 
"they all looked alike to me before. I see how different they are now." 

Just as that boy had a physical difficulty which prevented his 
seeing clearly, just so does a "mental squint," as it is often denom- 
inated, interfere with clear mental vision, and it is the province of 
the teacher to discover where these mental discrepancies lie. A 
man once said to me, with that peculiar want of tact which seems to 
inform each word and act of some people, "I want you to make a 
teacher of my grand-daughter. She's kind o' lazy, and aint much 
good, so I'm determined to make a teacher of her." I remonstrated 
with him, and assured him that, of all professions, teaching was the 
last in which "laziness" and no-good-ativeness could be introduced 
with safety or hope of success. That this same young woman was 
"lazy" and not "much good" I can cheerfully endorse, and that she 
never made, nor could make, a teacher, I am equally willing to assert. 

The next requisite is the power of self-control. A teacher who 
cannot maintain both temper and dignity under the most trying 
combination of circumstances, would better at once give up all idea 
30 



466 QUEEN OF HOME. 

of teaching, and undertake something else, in which her personal 
influence will not be felt to such a marked degree. A teacher 
without self-control, cannot hope to control unruly pupils. Beside 
all this, the true teacher should thoroughly comprehend the respon- 
sibility which rests on her shoulders, as a moulder of the future 
destiny of the miniature men and women in her charge. Teaching 
is not merely hearing lessons out of a book. It is not even explaining 
knotty points, nor lifting infant feet over the rough places on the 
road to knowledge ; it is a combination of all the foregoing requisites 
and, withal, a calling of such importance that its responsibilities 
should never be assumed lightly. Added to this, also, comes a will- 
ingness to assume new methods, not because new methods are the 
fashion, but because it is a recognized fact that improvements and 
auxiliaries can be added to this profession as well as to any other. 

Compare the school-room of to-day with that of a hundred 
years ago ! What the district school of our century is, the ordinary 
school of the past century was. Now, even the district schools, if 
within the radius of a city government, have many of the con- 
veniences and appliances known to the larger places. Compare the 
size, the ventilation, the desks and benches, the books, the instru- 
ments, and the regulations for discipline, with those which were in 
vogue in the time of our grandmothers, and note the changes ! 
Compare the curriculum now established for girls, with that of our 
grandmothers ! Compare the art-work of to-day with the samplers 
perpetrated by the dear old ladies when they were in their teens, 
and hung by them, in frames of superior quality, in conspicuous 
positions in the best room ! Granted ! the art-work, so called, of the 
present day is, much of it, not only meretricious, but a waste of time 
and an eye-sore when complete ! But that is the misfortune of the 
perpetrator. It is the opportunities of which I am speaking. Every 
door of the palace of knowledge is now open to woman in one way 
or another. If she elects to enter the wrong door, it is a mistake 
for her and a misfortune for her friends. As opportunities for 
scholars have increased, in like proportion have increased the oppor- 
tunities for teachers, and we are having the satisfaction of seeing, in 
every direction, women occupying the highest chairs, which were, at 
one time, only accorded to men. Look at the women teaching in 
Vassar, Cornell, Bryn Mawr or Swarthmore, and say that advancement 
has not come with rapid strides ! Look at the Harvard Annex, and 
say that we are not preparing women for mental acquirements un- 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 



467 




468 QUEEN OF HOME. 

dreamed of. fifty years ago. Compare Alice Braislin (no longer 
Alice Braislin, however) or Maria Mitchell with men in their posi- 
tion, and say if they fall in any degree short, either in mental ability 
or in ability to impart their knowledge. 

Where the higher branches were once given only to men, 
women have now the control of many of the highest positions, and 
it is to be hoped and prayed for, that, some day, such a sense of 
shame and justice will strike the world, that women will receive 
exactly the same remuneration for equally well performed labor. 
Their ability to control and command the respect of their pupils is an 
acknowledged fact, and their peculiar adaptation to this profession, 
by reason of the motherly instinct implanted in each woman's breast, 
has had such an influence on the public that, in many places, there 
have been put on school-boards women instead of men. For these 
positions, married women and mothers have been preferred. Rep- 
resentative, both as woman and teacher, no better instance can be 
cited, perhaps, than Mrs. Louisa Parsons Hopkins. 

Louisa Parsons Hopkins, born in Newbur^^port, April 19th, 1834, 
was a daughter of Jacob Stone, whose ancestry was of the best New 
England type, including such names as Parsons, Gyles, Griswold, etc. 
Louisa P. Stone was a graduate of the Putnam free school, under 
W. H. Wells, and a classmate and intimate friend of Harriet Prescott 
Spofford and Jane Andrews, both well known authors. With Jane 
Andrews, she also passed through the course at the West Newton 
State Normal school, now at Framingham, graduating in July, 1853. 
She was poet of her class, and of several anniversary occasions of 
the institution afterward. She taught in a high school at Keene, 
New Hampshire; in the Putnam free school, Newbur}^port; in 
Friends' A^cademy, New Bedford, and in the Academy for Girls at 
Albany, New York. At the age of twenty-three, she decided to 
devote herself to teaching in foreign missionary fields, and her name 
Avas on the list of applicants for such work, at the American Board 
of foreign missions, for a year and a half. The unwillingness of her 
parents, and her broad theological opinions, prevented her appoint- 
ment, and in 1859, she married John Hopkins, of New Bedford, who 
represented an ancestry as distinctive and distinguished in New 
England histor^^ as her own. They resided in New Bedford, rear- 
ing a family of five children, until 1886, when she was elected 
to her present position on the Board of Supervisors for Boston 
public schools. Mrs. Hopkins had much to do with general reform- 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 469 

'atory and philanthropic work in Newburyport and New Bedford. 

At an early date she devoted herself to her vocation of teaching, 
and she has studied science and literature all her life, as time and 
opportunity allowed. In 1875, she opened a small school in her own 
nursery, that she might educate her little daughter under the most 
favorable circumstances. This school grew to about twenty-four 
in number, and was carried on for eight years. All the problems 
of modern education were initiated and worked out in this little 
school, and a series of papers, describing its methods and details 
of work, was contributed by Mrs. Hopkins herself, to the journal 
of Education and Primary Teacher, during all the years of its 
existence. These papers attracted much attention, and were after- 
wards embodied in the book, "How shall my child be taught?" In 
the meantime, she had published a volume of verse called "Mother- 
hood," which received the highest praise, both as a poem and as an 
expression of the sentiment of motherhood. She also published a 
volume of poems called "Breath of Field and Shore." Both were 
successful publications, and, if the author had not been so vitally 
absorbed in educational ideas and projects, she would, doubtless, 
have been drawn, by their success, into the path of poetic Hterature. 
A number of versified studies in natural history, written for use in 
her own school, were published in book form ; also, a condensed 
work on geography, projected for the same purpose, called "Hand- 
book of the Earth." 

After closing her school, she filled the chair of Pedagogy and 
Psychology in the Swain free school, New Bedford, for three years, 
this position ending only with her appointment in Boston. It was 
during those years that the very compact little work on educational 
psychology was published. This book was highly praised by Prof. 
Mark Hopkins, of Williams College, Dr. Peabody, of Harvard, and 
other high authorities. She is now engaged on a series of manuals 
in elementary science, for teachers, in connection with her duties as 
Supervisor of Elementary Science In Boston schools, and attending 
to the varied and responsible duties of her position. 

Coming from a woman so well qualified in every way, Mrs. 
Hopkins' sentiments in regard to her vocation are specially valu- 
able. In reply to a request for "a few words" in regard to her 
profession, she writes as follows: "A sympathetic and idealistic 
temperament, with great energy and a strong executive faculty — 
inborn love of childhood, with an insight into the philosophy of 



470 QUEEN OF HOME. 

human development — all these elements must combine in the con- 
stitution of the real teacher. To love each child as if it were one's 
own, to believe in its best possibilities, to work for it and think for 
it night and day ; to love study and thought for itself, and to feel 
impelled to communicate these results, for the good of others, in 
every way possible — these are the natural activities of one who will 
teach well. All my life I have felt these impulses dominating my 
action and forming my influence. I have always found courage and 
inspiration for every effort, and never failed to stimulate interest, and 
awaken my pupils both morally and intellectually. My faith has never 
been unsteady or faint, in either the sources or the results of my 
inspiration. My divine attachments have been equal to every strain 
of short-coming on my own part, or discouraging conditions on the 
part of others. The influences which my religious inheritance and 
training provided, have been the secret and constant spring of all 
my activities, and through me, have upheld many who trusted to me 
for help. Great sympathy with nature has given me inexpressible 
happiness, and an inborn and growing desire to use all my powers 
toward the right development of humanity, within my own limited 
opportunities, has made my life buoyant, energetic and busy, yet 
peaceful, in its constant round of duties and its many endearing 
relationships. Consecration to duty, courage of conviction, truthful- 
ness of expression, without regard to criticism or favor, and a deep 
sympathy for humanity, are the elements of my life-work. 

The heart in the life and the life in the work, is my only formula 
for good work in any direction. I am both learner and teacher, as 
much now as ever, and I look beyond this life to eternal receiving and 
giving — to eternal growth and communication of growing forces — to 
eternal transmission of divine life and love, as fast as I can take them 
to myself. This is to teach." 

As Mrs. Hopkins may be considered a true representative 
woman among those who are connected with public institutions for 
learning, so may Miss Anne Churchman, whose long and useful 
career was closed by death in 1884, be considered a representative 
private teacher. Though a Philadelphian 'by birth, her labors were 
by no means confined to her native city, and all over the United 
States there may, perhaps, be found readers of this volume, who 
well remember the sensible, conscientious teaching received at her 
hands. I have truly said a "long and useful career," for, 2X fourteen, 
she began teaching in a night-school for colored children, at Frank- 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 471 

ford, Pennsylvania, never remitting, meanwhile, her own studies, 
attending school with great regularity, which the most robust health 
and utter defiance of all weathers, readily permitted. 

At sixteen, she was offered a position in Byberry, which, with 
much misgiving as to her abilities, she accepted, upon the urgent ad- 
vice of friends. She kept up her studies here as well, and I may truly 
say, that all of her long life was spent in acquiring as well as giving. 

So excellent were her methods, so clear and plain her explana- 
tions, that a pupil must learn. Many of her pupils have said to each 
other, with a smile, when recalling school-girl days, "Do you remem- 
ber the day Miss Anne cut up the potatoes and explained fractions 
to us? I never forgot the principle of fractions again. With all 
the teaching from books I had had in other schools, I never could see 
why one-tenth was not more than one-fourth. But then, Miss Anne 
taught everything the same way. You had to learn — you could not 
help yourself," 

In this was the underlying principle of her teaching. She did 
not teach "from books." Fractions were real, practical things in 
life, and, as such they must be taught. They were not a question 
of figures on a slate. She made her pupils feel that learning had 
some more definite object than the mere ability to recite a lesson. 
Each fraction referred to their daily life in some way ; each sentence 
in their grammar book had a distinct bearing upon their daily conver- 
sation ; each astronomy lesson dealt with daily or nightly occurrences, 
which they could and should watch for themselves — thus she taught 
them. Their daily lessons were woven into their daily surroundings, 
and she taught her pupils to observe and, above all, to think. "I 
cannot teach you anything — no one can'' she was wont to observe, 
" I can only show you how to learnt She taught in the public schools 
of Philadelphia, and afterwards in New York. After this, she went 
to New Orleans, where she was made Principal of the grammar 
school (a distinction at that time seldom offered to a Northern 
woman), a position which, by reason of her superior ability, she held, 
spite of her pronounced Northern views, until the winter of 1853. 

In 1858, she opened a private boarding and day school in Phila- 
delphia, which met with the success it deserved, and hundreds of 
pupils can testify to the excellence of the training received at her 
hands, and the hands of the able corps of teachers whom she knew 
how to select. 

A woman who has labored faithfully, steadily and successfully. 



472 QUEEN OF HOME. 

as a conscientious teacher, over a period covering more than half a 
century, can surely not be said to have lived in vain, and may surely 
be considered a representative woman. 

There is one branch of teaching about which I have said nothing 
as yet — about which I would like to say something — but about which 
I hardly know what to say. I would like to give a word of some 
kind to the goveriiesses. 

The situation of a governess, save in exceptional cases, is not in 
any way to be envied, and I would strongly advise any young girl 
who can possibly gain a livelihood in any other way, not to attempt 
to undertake to assume the duties of such a position. The position 
usually accorded to a governess, and the discomforts attached thereto, 
are not entirely due to the employers. They are the outgrowth of 
various circumstances. First of all, the trouble has arisen from the 
fact, of which I have already spoken, that, in past years, a girl who 
found herself suddenly obliged to do something, at once put herself 
to work to find a position as governess, no matter whether she was 
competent or not. In this way, many half-educated and wholly incom- 
petent girls, hardly in their teens, found themselves in the houses of 
people who neither appreciated their desire to do, nor felt for their 
youth and inexperience ; and in most cases they found themselves in 
the anomalous position of neither servant nor one of the family. The 
servants despised them, as being above themselves, but below the 
family. As added dignity has been given to all professions for women, 
governesses are not so numerous, and those who are willing to under- 
take the arduous task of such a position, command not only more of 
the respect which their high calling deserves, but higher remuneration 
for services rendered. 

Another cause of the trouble is the unfortunate fact that very 
many people possess more money than refinement, and young girls 
who are obliged '*to work for a living" are all classed together, no 
matter what the degrees of refinement and education. They are 
not, themselves, of sufficiently fine fibre to know that a woman in 
whose hands they are willing to trust the training and educating of 
their children, should be only one who could command their highest 
respect and appreciation. 

Matters are, however, adjusting themselves, by slow degrees ; 
but, though it has taken thousands of years to put " the right man " 
in comparatively "the right place," let us hope that another thousand 
will see the position of woman clearly defined. 



CHAPTER XI, 



LITERATURE. 




HE time has gone by, when woman appeared on 
the Hterary field under protest, and was only 
accorded a place therein by the courtesy of the 
men who already were masters of the situ- 
ation. To-day she holds her own by right of 
mental might, and stands side by side with her 
competitors of the opposite sex. Within the 
last few months, has appeared in the papers a lengthy 
discussion on the relative mental force of woman and 
man. But what does it amount to ? Woman no 
longer needs to apologize for daring to appear in liter- 
ary competition ; she no longer even needs to assume 
a masculine nom de plume, to insure recognition for 
literary composition equal in virility and profundity 
to that of the men in the same field. The French 
say, ''There is nothing succeeds like success," and 
the literary woman of to-day may emphatically pro- 
claim herself a success, should she desire to make herself prominent 
in that way. But in no walk of life are the successful ones more 
retiring, or less eager to proclaim their own prominence. In no 
profession is the person more thoroughly merged in the work than 
in that of literature. That her work shall be recognized, is the ab- 
sorbing thought; that she hei-self shall be "a lion," is a thought 
from which she shrinks. But that anyone, man or woman, can enter 
a profession where every thought is for the people, where the public 
pulse is felt constantly, and remedies and restoratives, or stimulants, 
are constantly applied by the literary nurse, without becoming known 
and her individuality felt — her personality known — is irnpossible. A 



474 QUEEN OF HOME. 

writer who has written much, and whose works possess not that 
individuahty that causes the reader to say, "This paragraph sounds 
Hke so-and-so," has utterly failed in the highest requirements of a 
writer. There is, of course, much desultory writing done, that 
accomplishes a purpose. Some, perhaps, have, once in a lifetime, 
an idea to which some psychic force compels them to give utterance. 
The article accomplishes its aim — it perhaps fulfills its mission — 
but the author's brain, like the swan, gives forth its only song while 
dying. 

There is also much published in the various "home" papers by 
"Sam's Wife," "John's Wife," or "A Subscriber," or "An Ardent 
Admirer," which, while it may contain some ideas (but very often not), 
cannot in any sense of the word be called literary work, though 
doubtless the writer will inform you p.roudly, that she " writes for the 
papers," and in all probability her intimate friends regard her with 
admiring respect and awe. All these lucubrations do no harm, and 
some good. They serve as an outlet to the writer, and reach the 
wants of those whose mental calibre is no higher than that of the 
author. I dislike exceedingly to use the word "author" in this con- 
nection, and only do so because we have no other word to express 
" source." 

There are those, also, who have even arrived at the dignity of 
having "written a book." It may be only the veriest trifle of a 
" Sunday-school story," with all the usual variations of the good boy's 
trials and the wicked boy's triumphs, with an overwhelming majority 
in favor of the good boy, in the final chapter, when the bad boy 
repents, confesses, and is forgiven on his death-bed, having, in a state 
of spasmodic remorse, saved the good boy's life at the expense of his 
own. It may all be little but a variation from all the others of its 
ilk — the self-same hackneyed scenes, with only, perhaps, a change 
from " Billie " to "Jimmie," or the substitution of "Jerusha" for 
" Hepzibah," but it stands as " a book" all the same, and the author's 
friends are duly proud. But real, true, literary work reaches a very 
different standard from this. 

We have, among the laborers in the literary vineyard, two dis- 
tinct classes — the editor and the author. Some — indeed I may say 
many — combine the two vocations, but ability for one is no requisite 
for the other. 

There is no position more thoroughly misunderstood than that of 
editor. "Editor" is a term capable of broad interpretation, and in 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 475 

large establishments, there will perhaps be editors as numerous as 
the departments of the periodical published. An editor is merely 
one who edits or manages his or her particular department. The 
"agricultural editor" is the one who notes, notices and puts in shape 
the latest ideas on agriculture. He may read it, he may hear it, but 
it is his business to clip, or accept, or write, the required amount for 
his particular columns. So with the "fashion editor;" she must 
visit the stores, the dressmakers, the shoe-shops, and give us the 
latest fads in her line. Sometimes she writes, sometimes she merely 
adjusts. The term "managing editor" is capable of still broader inter- 
pretation. He or she "manages" the affairs of the establishment, and 
seldom puts pen to paper. The main business of "managing edi- 
tors " is to see that the right people are in the right place. They must 
have intuition and discrimination as to what people will read, though 
they never do a stroke of such work themselves, or perhaps could not. 
They may not have even the higher education necessary to good lit- 
erary work, but they know by instinct and close observation what the 
public wants, and they know a good thing when they see it. They 
may have neither time nor ability to prepare their own editorials, but 
they know who can do it acceptably, and that is the person whom 
they install in that place. They may have no ability whatever to 
write even the simplest story, but they know to whom to apply for 
fiction that will suit the readers of their particular periodicals, and 
insure increase of circulation. 

All this is art, and expresses a certain quality of mental force 
and business ability that is greatly to be admired. With this ability 
is combined, at times, literary talents as well. We have notable 
instances in Mary Mapes Dodge, Mrs. J. D. Croly (Jennie June), 
Mrs. Virginia Terhune (Marion Harland) and many others. 

Mary Mapes Dodge, a daughter of Professor Mapes, has for 
many years been the successful editor of St. Nicholas. This period- 
ical is published in New York, where she resides with her family. 
Her work does not stop with her editorial "sanctum;" her pen 
is constantly weaving bright stories and tender fancies, not only for 
the little ones, but for "older children" as well. Her poem, "The 
Two Mysteries," will ever hold its place in the literature of the nine- 
teenth century. It was inspired by the inquiring expression with 
which a child looked up into the face of her uncle (Walt Whitman), 
upon first beholding death. " You don't know what it is, my dear?" 
said the old man, adding softly, "We don't either." 



476 QUEEN OF HOME. 

THE TWO MYSTERIES. 

We don't know what it is, dear, this sleep so deep and still ; 
The folded hands, the awful calm, the cheeks so pale and chill ; 
The lips that will not lift again, though we may call and call ; 
The strange white solitude of peace that settles over all. 

We know not what it means, dear, this desolate heart-pain. 
This dread to take our daily way and walk in it again ; 
We know not to what other sphere the loved who leave us, go. 
Nor why we're left to wonder still, nor why we do not know. 

But this we know : our loved and dead, if they should come this day, 
Should come and ask us, what is life ? not one of us could say. 
Life is a mystery, as deep as ever death can be ; 
Yet, oh ! how dear it is to us, this life we live and see ! 

Then might they say — those vanished ones — and blessed is the thought, 
" Lo, death is sweet to us, beloved ! though we may show you nought. 
We may not to the quick reveal the mystery of death — 
Ye cannot tell us, if ye would, the mystery of breath." 

The child who enters life comes not with knowledge or intent ; 
So those who enter death must go as little children went. 
Nothing is known. But I believe that God is overhead — 
As life is to the living, so death is to the dead. 

Distinguished among American women in social, literary and 
philanthropic circles, is Mrs. Jennie Cunningham Croly. We have 
adopted her for our own, and we jealously insist that she is an Ameri- 
can, although she was born in England. She came to this country 
in early childhood, however, and all her associations since that time 
are with America. She has thoroughly identified herself with her 
American sisters, and has made a name of which we are justly 
proud. Her literary abilities were early developed, inheriting from 
her father, a man of strong personality, his vigorous style of thought. 

Her first article was published in the New York Tribune. Her 
first position was upon the New York Sunday Despatch, and her 
second upon the New' York Sunday Times. She became favorably 
known as a writer of fashion articles. Not only this, but she was the 
pioneer of literature devoted to the interests of women. This desire 
to aid her sex, and work for their best interests, has been with her all 
through her life ; and she is a bright and shining light in more than 
one association, which, if not composed exclusively of women, is at 
least devoted in some way to the advancement of their condition. 

She neither rants nor wears bloomers, nor does she even desire 
to be known as the '' exponent of a great principle." She is merely 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 477 

a thorough beHever in the needs and capabilities of her sisters, and 
she Hves up to the beHef. 

A pioneer among Hterary women, the story of her hfe is one of 
unusual interest, and nowhere has it been more clearly and briefly 
told, perhaps, than in an account given by Florine Thayer McCray in 
the Philadelphia Ladies Home journal, edited by Louisa Knapp. 

"In 1856," writes Mrs. McCray, ''she invented the duplicate 
system of correspondence (syndicates were then undreamed of), 
and the writer had the entire advantage of her bright scheme ; and 
about the same time she became an editor and dramatic critic of the 
Sunday Times, which position she filled for five years. 

A friend, writing of her wonderful activity at this time, says : 
'In the meantime, she had succeeded Mrs. Ann S. Stephens as the 
fashion editor of Frank Leslie s Magazine, was writing the fashions 
for Graham's Magazine, maintaining her weekly and monthly cor- 
respondence and executing much ' order ' work. The most important 
part of this supplemental labor, was devoted to the starting and edit- 
ing of Madame Demoresf s Mirror of Fashions, a quarterly for which 
she wrote every line for nearly four years.' It was then consolidated 
with the Illustrated News, and she left the Sunday Times to edit it. 
Under the name of Demoresf s Illustrated Monthly, it remained in her 
charge until May, 1887, or upwards of twenty-seven years. She also 
started and controlled other small publications for the same house. 

Not only is the present honorable status of newspaper women 
and the suggestion of duplicate correspondence and many other labor- 
saving ideas which originated in her fertile brain, due to the efficiency 
and unflagging industry of Mrs. Croly, but the development of 
the social side of newspaper productions, the recognition that there 
is something worthy of public discussion, exclusive of politics, crime 
and sensational occurrences — common ground upon which men and 
women can meet, exchange opinions and compare experiences — may 
be traced directly to her influence. Her work was a revelation to 
the editors of the past generation, and so full of suggestion and 
animus was every topic which came from her hand, that they were 
fain to possess themselves of it as something new, strange and inter- 
esting in the history of journalism. It has all become a matter of 
course to us, but one has only to go back in imagination forty years, 
to see how overgrown, and apparently impenetrable, was the now 
clear field which this little woman undertook to cultivate. 

She swept away all objections to women's work in newspaper 



478 QUEEN OF HOME. 

offices, proved that not only were they as alert for news, as quickly 
comprehensive of knotty points and as well qualified to probe the 
heart of tough issues as men, but that their intuitive perception of 
what would please the public taste, their instinct for salient points 
and things provocative of general discussion, were a necessity for a 
journal which would satisfy the multifarious and varying tastes of its 
clientele. Her active journalistic labors have continued unremittingly 
up to the present time. Between them, her fashion work and her 
books, one upon cookery, called ' For Better or Worse,' and one upon 
the liabilities and duties of married life, and another, composed of 
essays, called 'Talks upon Women's Topics,' have come in the brief 
interims between routine labor which would have worn out many 
robust men. 

At the beginning of her career, Jennie Cunningham married 
Mr. David G. Croly, then city editor of The Herald, and she became 
a regular attache of it. When The World ^n^.^ started in i860, her 
husband was made managing editor of that paper, and Mrs. Croly, 
in addition to all her other work, took charge of a department which 
included in its scope, all matters relating to, or interesting, women. 
This work continued until 1872, and during eight years of the time, 
she did similar work for the Daily Times. 

When The Graphic was started, Mr. Croly became the editor, 
and his wife transferred her work to that paper. She was, during 
this time, correspondent of more than twenty papers, covering nearly 
all the territory of the United States, many of which she retains at 
the present time. 

All of Mrs. Croly' s work has had the aim and effect of building 
up the intellectual position of women, of inciting them to worthy 
work, and directing their efforts in useful and ennobling channels. 

Her fashion letters, each of which, for thirty years has been read 
by a million and a half of women, have been conscientiously and 
most dexterously used to emancipate her sex from the slavery of 
custom, to make them decide for themselves upon what is graceful, 
becoming and comfortable in costuming, and to break down the 
prestige of unworthy foreign fashions. She has always discussed these 
questions with the strength of superiority in judgment, as indeed 
has been her method with all topics. In reading her articles or 
hearing her speak, one always gets the impression of an immense 
reserve force behind her utterances. The dream of her life has been 
the organization of women in societies corresponding to the organi- 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 479 

zations among men ; for she believes that only by concerted action 
can any great end be attained. An early step, which proved a very 
long stride in this direction, was the inception and founding of Sorosis, 
now twenty years old. Only a brief outline of a very interesting set 
of circumstances, which cr^^stallized this unformed idea in the mind of 
Mrs. Croly, can here be given. It was in March, 1868, that the 
Press Club of New York, an association comprising nearly all the 
leading journalists, offered to Charles Dickens, prior to his departure 
for home, after a successful reading tour in this country, a dinner at 
Delmonico's, which was to be of an unprecedented character in 
honorary banquets. David G. Croly, then editor of the New York 
World, was on the executive committee, which had preparations in 
charge, and through him, his wife, a well known and actively efficient 
journalist, applied for a ticket at the regular rate, claiming it upon 
the ground that the dinner being tendered by the ' Press ' of New 
York, she was entitled to be present in virtue of her acknowledged 
standing in the profession. 

It was a test case, and cleverly put forth. The committee were 
disposed to regard the application as a joke, but James Parton, who 
was one of them, took it seriously, and reinforced it by bringing a 
similar application from his wife, popularly known as 'Fanny Fern.' 
This, and other applications which came in, proved the thing serious, 
and the lively discussion which ensued, came to the ears of Horace 
Greeley, the veteran editor of The Tribu7ie, who had promised to 
preside upon the occasion, and he, be it ever remembered as a tes- 
timonial of his sense of justice and promptness in bearing out his 
convictions, declared that he would not do so unless the ' women 
had a chance.' This compelled the committee to act, and a reluctant 
note was sent, very late, to Mrs. Croly, saying that, if a sufficient 
number of ladies to make a good showing, were ready to purchase 
tickets at fifteen dollars, they were at their demand. 

This churlish assent, which was practically a refusal, was not 
accepted, but the matter was not dropped. Mrs. Croly, the Misses 
Alice and Phebe Gary, Mrs. Charlotte B. Wilbour, Miss Kate Field, 
Mrs. Henry M. Field and Mrs. Botta made it the subject of conver- 
sation with many others, at the receptions and social reunions where 
they met within a few weeks. A meeting was finally called at Mrs. 
Croly' s house, and the project began to take form. 

What was evolved, was a woman's club, named Sorosis, with 
twelve members, among whom were Celia Burleigh and Madame E. 



48o QUEEN .OF HOME. 

L. Demorest, with Alice Gary as president, and Jennie C. Croly, vice- 
president, while Kate Field was corresponding secretary, and Char- 
lotte Wilbour recording secretary and treasurer. It was to be an 
artistic, literary and social organization, for the encouragement and 
mutual assistance of women in professional life. They met at Del- 
monico's, as they have ever since continued to do, beginning their 
meeting with a luncheon, after which, business was arranged and plans 
discussed. Those who were then children, can remember the sensa- 
tion which the formation of this club made all over the country. The 
New York Press Club, seeing that the thing carried weight, made 
the amende honorable by inviting Sorosis to a ' breakfast,' at which it 
had nothing to do but sit and eat, and was not asked to take any 
part in the exercises. 

In return for this courtesy, Sorosis invited the Press Club to a 
'tea,' at which the women did all the talking, allowing the men no 
chance to speak — not even to respond to their own toast. The spec- 
tacle of the company of talented men, thus personally repressed and 
disregarded, while ostensibly honored en masse^ was irresistibly 
funny, and under the stimulus of the occasion, Sorosis showed its 
mettle, and spoke in a series of brilliant addresses, sparkling with 
wit, seasoned with spicy reflections, and founded upon indisputable 
facts of a wide range, which showed the club quite strong enough to 
stand and run with its competitors. A third entertainment was soon 
after given, at which ladies and gentlemen each paid their own way, 
and shared equally the responsibilities and honors. After the first 
year of life, Sorosis was left without a president, Alice Cary 
having resigned, and Mrs. Croly was soon after elected to that office 
by acclamation. Under her rule, the club made rapid strides toward 
settled forms and systematized work. During the ten years under 
her management, it grew to be a recognized power, reaching out and 
running into channels of home, professional, public and political 
life, which cannot here be descanted upon. Mrs. Croly possesses, 
in an enviable degree, the rare power described as the ' faculty of 
thinking on one's legs.' Her quick grasp of situations, her instant 
grouping of facts and arguments about any point, her confidence in 
her own quiet exposition of her side of the question, have made her 
one of the most powerful speakers of the day. She makes her 
deductions logically, constructs a symmetrical argument, and ceases 
the moment no more can be said to add to its force. 

In this she evinces what has sometimes been called by modest 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 481 

men (who naturally appropriate to themselves much that seems 
admirable in mental qualifications) a masculine quality of mind. It 
is certainly quite distinct from the intuitions which sometimes make 
less thoughtful women stick to a point, despite of all arguments to 
the contrary, while yet they cannot give reasons for their convictions. 
'Jennie June' has also the purely mental faculty of seeing the good 
points on the sides to which she is, in opinion, opposed. When a side 
of any question before Sorosis has seemed to lack supporters, Mrs. 
Croly has often thrown herself into the breach, and against her 
strongest convictions, builded so stable an argument for that side 
that even sister members, who know her possibilities, have been 
deceived as to her beliefs, and have sought her, indignant and 
remonstrating. 

'Jennie June' has, within a year, purchased a half-interest in 
Godey s Lady s Book, and assumed its editorship. She has also been 
made president of the Women's Endowment Cattle Company, 
originated by Mrs. Newby. This unique organization, which has 
for its object a safe investment, to be made by women for their 
children, is incorporated in the State of New Jersey, has a capital 
stock of one million and a half dollars and control of two million 
acres of grazing land in New Mexico, on which there are now 6,000 
head of cattle. 

Mrs. Croly lives at 148 East 46th street. New York, and while 
giving the care of the establishment to friends, keeps her family 
circle and the atmosphere of home for her husband, now an invalid, 
and her children — a daughter and a son. Miss Vida Croly, a young 
lady of attractive appearance and charming manners, has followed her 
mother's example in efforts for self-support, and is playing a pleasing 
part at the Lyceum Theatre. With all her continuous and hard 
work, Mrs. Croly has never been a money-getter. Her pen has fur- 
nished a comfortable, even a luxurious home for her family, but she 
has no fortune, and looks forward with weariness that the time is so 
long delayed when she may rest upon her oars, and, secure at least 
from discomfort, devote her time to book-writing and work of a more 
strictly literary nature than has been in her line as a journalist. She 
is a forcible political and philosophical writer, and has contributed 
largely to scientific journals. She is a member of the New York 
Academy of Sciences, vice-president of the Association for the 
Advancement of the Medical Education of Women, a member of the 
Goethe Club and other societies with high objects. 
31 



482 QUEEN OF HOME. 

Her home has been for years the centre of the Hterary and 
artistic Hfe of the metropohs, and probably no woman in New York 
is better quahfied to establish and maintain a desirable salon. 

Her Sunday evening receptions bring together a brilliant array 
of celebrities and charming conversationalists, and her influence goes 
forth through this channel into the educational and social life of the 
whole nation." 

Since the writing of the above article by Mrs. McCray, Mrs. 
Croly has withdrawn from her connection with Godey s Lady s Book. 
Her husband, too, to whom she was united by a bond of more than 
common strength, passed away early in the Spring of 1889. 

Quoting again from Plorine Thayer McCray, who has made it 
her work to Write up many of the living women authors, we have an 
article of hers on Mrs. Virginia Terhune, published in the New York 
World: 

"Every woman in the country who reads ever so cursorily the 
journals and serial publications of the day knows ' Marion Harland,' 
but comparatively few among the vast army of readers, among the 
mothers and housewives who depend upon her friendly advice in 
home-making, are acquainted with Mrs. Mary Virginia Terhune, who 
lives on South Ninth street, in Brooklyn, within easy reach of New 
York. 

' Marion Harland' occupies a handsome four-story brown-stone 
front house, by the side of which is a large garden laid out in pictur- 
esque walks, among trees, shrubs, and, in their season, beautiful 
flowers. The spacious drawing-rooms are furnished in delicate tints, 
in frescoes, carpets and draperies, and back of them is the library, 
which is crimson. The decoration of the walls and ceiling, which is 
done in velvet paper, laid in folds, and framing at the four corners 
paintings of the 'Neapolitan Boy,' the 'Odalisque,' and other rich 
types, is very effective. In the large bow window looking out upon the. 
pretty yard, is a Wardian case filled with palms, ferns and mosses. 
A spinning-wheel, with its bunch of flax, stands near the fire-place, 
and upon the walls are hung various engravings, among them, those 
of Longfellow and Washington Irving and his friends, surmounting 
the book-cases. A writing-table and scrap-basket complete the literary 
appearance of this room. The atmosphere of the whole house is 
attractive and comfortable. 'Marion Harland' is, indeed, a model 
housekeeper, for the home environment is made conducive to the 
enjoyment of the family, with none of the vainglorious insistance upo;i 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 483 

ways and means which is the discomfort of many a painfully precise 
management. She is the descendant of a cultivated Virginia family, 
of a mother gentle, refined, and born and bred with quiet domestic 
and literary tastes, and inherits from her father the pith and earnest- 
ness for which her life is distinguished. Her early literary diet was 
made up of the British classics, with now and then a diversion in 
reading Rollin's Ancient History. The Spectator, Thompson's 'Sea- 
sons,' Cowper's 'Tasks' and Plutarch's 'Lives' furnished light 
reading until the advent of Grahain s and Godey s magazines. 
' Marion Harland's' first novel, 'Alone,' appeared in 1854, of which 
more than one hundred thousand copies have been sold. Of her 
' Common Sense ' series, no reader need to be told, as they are found 
in every home, and have sold more than one hundred and ten 
thousand in ten years, and the sale is unabated. 

Her book, 'Our Daughters; what shall we do with them?' 
a helpful talk with mothers, and 'Eve's Daughters,' a series of dis- 
cussions with the girls themselves, in a vein of infinite tact and 
purity, on matters pertaining to the health and highest development 
of brain and body, have reached many editions. 

' Marion Harland ' is the wife of Rev. Edward P. Terhune, the 
popular pastor of Bedford Avenue First Reformed Church, a genial, 
magnetic man of splendid physique, standing six feet in his stockings, 
and broad-shouldered in proportion. He is a specimen of muscular 
Christianity good to see, and is the object (he sometimes declares, 
the victim) of the enthusiastic affection and loving familiarity of 
his family. He once remarked, in comic despair, when particu- 
larly dishevelled after a filial melee, ' Oh, yes ; I am not only hen- 
pecked, but I am chicken-pecked, as you see.' His wife, ' Marion 
Harland,' of the cook-books, Babyhood, and editor of household 
departments which appear in various magazines, and are such a 
boon to women, is a medium-sized woman, with a sweet, piquant 
face, dark hair and eyes, sparkling with kindliness, and a hopeful 
view of life. 

As, according to Madame de Genlis, a woman has nothing to do 
with dates, it is unnecessary to refer to Mrs. Terhune's age. Suffice 
to mention that she is the mother of three children. 

Dr. and Mrs. Terhune believe that every young woman should 
have some practical means of livelihood, and educate their children 
accordingly. Miss Belle Terhune is a pretty, blue-eyed girl, who 
already finds constant employment for her pen, and the son, a lad of 



484 QUEEN OF HOME. 

fourteen, is working hard at school, taking time meanwhile to have 
grown within an inch of his father's heroic stature. 

The great sorrow of their lives was the loss of a beautiful girl, 
a delicate, gifted child, who died from the effects of a fright given 
her by an ignorant servant. The maid appeared to her young 
charge at night as a ghost, and so terrified the imaginative little girl 
as to throw her into convulsions, from which she never rallied. 

Dr. Terhune's is a most methodical household. Each day, 
after breakfast, the members of the family separate, going to their 
desks for work or study, and when they meet at luncheon, the busi- 
ness of the day is over, and social recreation begins. Dr. and Mrs. 
Terhune receive Monday evenings, and in their hospitable rooms 
may be often found many of the most distinguished people of the 
two cities spanned by the bridge. Mrs. Terhune is a faithful 
pastor's wife, taking charge of the social interests of the parish, 
working effectively in fairs and other benevolent schemes, and 
in her literary work is, doubtless, one of the busiest women in the 
country. ^ 

' Marion Harland's' work has always possessed a peculiar sell- 
ing quality, and publishers fight hard to secure her engagements. 
Since the early days, when she made instant success as the author of 
'Alone,' she has, with few digressions, turned her attention to work 
for home life. She says of herself, that she is ' good three-halves 
mother,' and as she certainly compasses work enough for two women, 
we may say that the fourth half of her nature is poetic and artistic. 
Her poems have touched the hearts of thousands, and her hand, in 
so persevering a use of the pen, does not lose its deftness with the 
brush. But the lady with such versatile gifts says she thinks, if she 
has any talent, it is in knowing in what line her best work is done. 
*Most people,' says Mrs. Terhune, 'want to do the things they are least 
fitted for. So, many a stream which might be a beneficent one, if 
turned into a channel where it could run full and strong, is spread 
out, thinly covering a large area, and rises only in miasma from the 
marshes it has made. Therefore I keep to my line, despite my fre- 
quent desires to branch into other channels, confining my efforts 
within limits where I am sure they do useful work.' 

' Marion Harland ' is blessed with good health, but when the 
pressure of her busy life becomes too strong, taking all, or one or 
two, of her family with her, she flees the town, with its incitement to 
constant endeavor, and goes for a few days' rest to their country 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 485 

home, named 'Sunnyside,' not far from Paterson, in the mountains 
of New Jersey. She was there during the first snow-storm of the 
season, and speaks gratefully of the calm imposed upon her tired 
brain, in looking at the mesmeric fall of the flakes and the pure, 
soft blanket that gently covered the sere world." 

Among those who possess rare literary talents, combined with 
the executive ability of the editor, was the late Mary Louise Booth, 
editor of Hai^per s Bazar since 1867. As a translator, her work 
received highest commendation, not only for accuracy and felicity of 
expression, but for rapidity. She was, at one time, called upon to 
translate a French work of considerable size (the name is forgotten), 
and, incredible as it may seem, for twenty-four hours, with unceasing 
toil and sleepless eyes, she sat at her desk. The work was accom- 
plished in the most satisfactory manner, and she, a "frail woman" 
(belonging to a sex whose mental and enduring force are supposed 
to be far below that of man), had done something which no man has 
ever done. The mental strain, of course, was terrible. President 
Lincoln gave her much commendation for her translations of French 
works of such writers as were favorable to the Union. She had a 
wide circle of personal friends, and, for years, her informal "Saturday 
evenings" have been the. place of enjoyable meeting for people from 
all quarters of the globe. By the death of Miss Booth, a great 
literary light has been lost. 

As a translator, none is more widely known than Mrs. Wistar ; 
and to those to whom, by lack of knowledge of the German tongue, 
these volumes would have been as a sealed book. Von Marlitt's 
works have become a household word. Nor does she, by any 
means, confine herself to the novels written by Von Marlitt. But 
who does not know "The Old Ma'amselle's Secret," "The Second 
Wife," "Countess Gisela" or "Only a Girl ?" Many generations to 
come will still be brought into contact with the German world of 
centuries before, by Mrs. Wistar's brilliant efforts in this line. 

Miss Katharine Wormeley, a daughter of rear-admiral Ralph R. 
Wormeley, of the British navy, and a collateral descendant (if one 
may use the term) of our own Commodore Preble, is also by no 
means unknown as a translator. She has made a valuable trans- 
lation of "Balzac," and has lately been engaged on "Louis Lambert" 
and "Seraphita." 

Of those who devote their time and energies to giving voice to 
their own thoughts, and whose writings are more or less acceptable. 



486 QUEExN OF HOME. 

the name is legion. That there are many whose claim to distinction 
is not, in any way, dependent upon true literary merit, is, perhaps, 
chiefly due to the American characteristic, which loves and seeks 
excitement and novelty. A book may possess neither merit of plot 
nor rhetorical handling, and yet its construction may be such as to 
command universal attention, as being ''so odd!" More especially 
is this the case, if the writer have the acuteness to express some of 
the com-monest, most every-day thoughts in language that is a little 
vague. Obscurity has great charms, and causes endless discussions 
— which is so much capital to the author. But there are many, many 
of oui" women writers who have won their laurels by no tricks of 
construction, no pandering to a vicious taste but half expressed, 
or, at best, but thinly veiled. They have put into their works 
the very best there is of themselves. Whole-souled, earnest work- 
ers, they remain a living memory to future America, and none the 
less vigorous is the work they leave to attest their mental power, 
that that work deals mainly with the best that there is in human 
nature, and seeks rather to guide than to warn. These writers 
may be divided into several classes, but, even then, each one is a 
type in herself, and cannot properly be classed with any of the 
others. With the same object in view, the same innate love for 
growing girlhood, the same desire to have youth at its best, and 
the same hope of saying something that may benefit, as well as 
amuse, how different the works of Mrs. A. D. T. Whitney and the 
late Louisa M. Alcott. 

In a recent number of Book News appeared the following ex- 
tract : "Those who read current American fiction must have noticed 
how small and insignificant a part is played in it by the American 
home. It is the great summer hotel, or parlor car, or steam yacht, 
or Atlantic liner, or Continental pension, or any other of those de- 
vices by w^hich Americans seek to get as far away from home as 
possible, which is chosen for the setting of our pleasant tales. As a 
consequence, the American is too often depicted as acting a part 
which is not natural. He is either aping manners and customs which 
are not his by inheritance, or scoffing at them in a very disagreeable 
way. He is, no doubt, in this capacity, a fit subject for satire. But 
take him where he is at home, where he has achieved success from 
very humble beginnings, by sheer force and shrewdness, where he 
has gained the confidence of his neighbors along with his riches, and 
there you will find him a more admirable character, and his daughters 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 487 

more lovable and refined, and his wife not so much an object of 
laughter as of admiration or, perhaps, of tears. 

For there are hosts of American homes of the right sort, where 
mother, father and children are united into a compact and influential 
social unit, by affection, respect, and even something of reverence. 
The struggle of such a family for fortune and position, is not the 
sordid thing which fiction-writers have so often depicted. There 
spring from these homes, every day, most beautiful examples of 
self-denial, mutual aid, self-help, and almost heroic endeavor. It will 
not do to satirize continually the rising man, or the rising family ; in 
them are boundless hope, new ideas, progress, and rich variety. The 
other side of this picture is furnished by the largest cities, where 
lonely and homeless young men struggle on to selfish and luxurious 
middle age, or sink iato pitiful poverty. These furnish our writers 
of fiction with too many types — perhaps because they are most 
familiar with that side of life. So long as homeless men and women 
are the chief characters in our novels, we can expect that only the 
surface of our national life will be touched by them. 

Contrast with ours the great masters of English fiction — 
Thackeray, Meredith, George Eliot. They give you heroes and 
heroines surrounded, for good or ill, with relatives of various degrees 
of lovableness, or the opposite. You see how large a part the 
home plays in human destiny, for success or failure ; you see how 
large a part it plays in love ; you watch its gentle influences or its 
sad limitations, to the very end of the story. Every man knows in 
his heart that this is the right point of view for any acute observer 
of life and manners. Yet Mr. Howells has been almost alone in 
adopting it to a degree here, and he has given us a number of 
beautiful family pictures — perhaps none more genuine and almost 
pathetic, with all its humor, than the Putneys, of Hatboro', in 'Annie 
Kilburn.' Such American homes make the heated atmosphere and 
false sentiment of Edgar Saltus's 'Eden' seem a horrid nightmare, 
and not a picture of life." 

We presume that the writer of this article referred to the lighter 
kind of fiction, for reflection will surely show the glow of the fireside 
athwart many a page of American novels. Who can deny the home 
touch in Mrs. Whitney's works ? Where do we find sweeter stories 
of young girl-life, with all its hopes and aims, and pride and passions, 
than in her works ? She may truly be said to write for the young 
girl, and yet, so bright and crisp are the thoughts that flow from her 



488 QUEEN OF HOME. 

pen, so scintillating with the fresh dew of morning, so filled with the 
glow and peace of sunset, that all she writes is eagerly read by old 
and young alike. Poor Anstiss Dolbear ! who has not felt for her ? 
And Glory McQuirk, with her happy, funny ways and fuzzy head ? 
Where will we find that much abused member of society, the "old 
maid," as she is termed by irreverent Young America, more truth- 
fully or more touchingly portrayed than in the character of Miss 
Craydocke, in "A Summer in Leslie Goldthwaite's Life?" Her char- 
acters are none of them wicked — she deals in no ''heavy villains" — 
but there is nothing weak in any of them. Her young girls are not 
flirtatious and slangy, but then, neither are they milk and water. 
They are real, solid, wholesome American girls, such girls, mothers, 
as you and I would like our daughters to be — girls with plenty of 
"snap and go" in them, but with honest hearts and earnest desires, 
and good intentions, spite of their mistakes. A young girl, reading 
Mrs. Whitney's works, must feel that the writer " understands." 
Indeed, I think she must stand very much in the light of a ''mother 
confessor" to many a young American girl, so deeply does she probe 
into the heart, and yet, how delicate, tender and considerate her 
touch! Any young girl who has missed reading "Faith Gartney's 
Girlhood," "Hitherto," "We Girls," "Real Folks," "The Other 
Girls," "Sights and Insights," or any other of the dozen or so vol- 
umes of the same character, has missed one great branch of her 
education. 

Mrs. Whitney is a resident of Milton, Massachusetts. Her 
father, Enoch Train, was a wealthy ship-owner, and established the 
Warren line of steamers, between Liverpool and Boston. She has 
been married many years, having, at nineteen, become the wife of 
Seth D. W^hitney, of Milton, Massachusetts. Mrs. Whitney's wri- 
tings proclaim that her relations as mother and grandmother have 
been of the highest type, and we can feel, without being told, the 
loving sympathy that must have existed between that mother and 
her growing children. 

Not only as a writer of vivacious, interesting and instructive 
stories is she known, but as a poet as well. Her "Mother Goose 
for Grown Folks" contains many a pithy or tender verse that con- 
veys a lesson. It is hard to select examples when all are so good, 
but little "Bo-Peep," for its tenderness, and "Attic Salt," for its 
moral lesson, characteristically taught, are, perhaps, two as good 
selections from this volume as could be made. 




.i^^^:^<.^^ 




OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 489 



BO-PEEP. 

''Little Bo- Peep 

Has lost her sheep, 
And doesn' t know where to find ^ em. 

Let 'em alone, 

And the f II come home, 
And bring their tails behind ^ em^ 

Hope beckoned Youth, and bade him keep, 

On life's broad plain, his shining sheep. 

And while along the sward they came. 

He called them over each by name : 

This one was Friendship — that was Wealth ; 

Another Love — another Health ; 

One, fat, full-fleeced, was Social Station ; 

Another, stainless, Reputation ; 

In truth, a goodly flock of sheep — 

A goodly flock, but hard to keep. 

Youth laid him down beside a fountain ; 
Hope spread his wings to scale a mountain ; 
And, somehow. Youth fell fast asleep. 
And left his crook to tend the sheep. 
No wonder, as the legend says. 
They took to very crooked ways. 

He woke — to hear a distant bleating — 
The faithless quadrupeds were fleeting ! 

Wealth vanished first, with stealthy tread ; 

Then Friendship followed — to be fed — 

And foolish Love was after led ; 

Fair Fame — alas ! some thievish scamp 

Had marked him with his own black stamp ! 

And he, with Honor at his heels, 

Was out of sight, across the fields. 

Health just hangs doubtful; distant Hope 
Looks backward from a mountain slope ; 
And Youth himself — no longer Youth — 
Stands face to face with bitter Truth. 

Yet, let them go ! 'T were all in vain 
To linger here in faith to find 'em. 

Forward ! Nor pause to think of pain, 

Till somewhere, on a nobler plain, 

A surer Hope shall lead the train 

Of joys withheld, to come again 

With golden fleeces trailed behind 'em. 



490 QUEEN OF HOME. 

ATTIC SALT. 

' ' Two little blackbirds sat up07i a hill, 
One 7ia7)ied Jack, the other 7iamed Jill ; 
Fly away, Jack I Fly away, Jill ! 
Co77ie agaiTj., Jack f Co77ie agai?t, Jill I ' ' 

I half suspect that, after all, 

There's just the smallest bit ' . 

Of inequality between 

The witling and the wit. 
'Tis only mental nimbleness. 

No language ever brought 
A living word to soul of man 

That had the latent thought. 

You may meet, among the million, 

Good people every day — 
Unconscious martyrs to their fate — 

Who seem, in half they say. 
On the brink of something brilliant 

They were almost sure to clinch, 
Yet, by some queer freak of fortune. 

Just escape it by an inch ! 

I often think the self-same shade — 

This difference of a hair — 
Divides between the men of nought 

And those w^ho do and dare. 
An instant cometh on the wing, 

Bearing a kingly crown ; 
This man is dazzled and let it by — 

That seizes and brings it down. 

Winged things may stoop to any door, 

Alighting close and low ; 
And up and down, 'twixt earth and sky, 

Do always come and go. 
Swift, fluttering glimpses touch us all — 

Yet, prithee, what avails ? 
'Tis only Genius that can put 

The salt upon their tails ! 

None the less characteristic of American young-girlhood, are the 
children of Miss Alcott's brain, but how different ! The rollicking, 
breezy Joe March, or the "Old-Fashioned Girl," Polly, bear no 
resemblance to Faith Gartney or Leslie Goldthwaite, but they are, 
none the less, wholesome, lovable girls. One cannot help finding it 
a matter of surprise that one brain can turn out book after book, 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 491 

"Under the Lilacs," * 'Old-Fashioned Girl," "Little Women," "Eight 
Cousins," "Rose in Bloom," and many more, one after the other, all 
replete with individuality and personality, and still no repetition of 
characters. 

Her birthplace was Germantown, a well known suburb of Phil- 
adelphia, Pennsylvania. When but little more than an infant, her 
father went to Boston, to open a school in the Masonic Temple. 
Louisa was one of four daughters, and as unlike the other three as 
is her "Joe" different from "Beth," "Meg" and "Amy March." 
Indeed, in her "Little Women," one may read the life-history of this 
well known author ; for in that, with such slight changes of name 
and incident as are absolutely necessary, has Miss Alcott taken the 
" Alcott family" for her theme. 

At the age of eight, she was an uncommonly active, tall, well 
developed child, fond of boys' sports, and hailed by all her boy friends 
as "boon companion." Her mind was as active as her body, and 
at sixteen her first book was vv^ritten — "Flower Fables." This, for 
various reasons, when pubHshed six years later, was not a success, 
however. Nothing daunted, and conscious of innate mental power. 
Miss Alcott still continued to write short stories, with varied success. 
Sending a collection of these to Roberts Brothers, of Boston, they 
strongly advised the writing of a continuous book, as there was no 
special demand for a collection of tales in those days. They advised 
her, further, to write a book for girls. Half acting upon their sug- 
gestion, half desiring to prove that writing for girls was a thing she 
could not do (feeling so much more at home with boys), she pro- 
duced "Little Women." By the time she had begun her second 
volume of that work, she found herself famous. 

She has been besieged with thousands of letters in behalf of the 
"March family," and has produced several volumes in order to supply 
the demand to know what "had become of them all;" but finally, 
she asserted positively that she would tell the public no more of the 
adventures of this family. To quote words attributed to her, she 
was "tired and sick of them " — threatened dire vengeance upon those 
who demanded further news of them. 

Though Concord was her home, very little of her literary work 
was done in that place. She pursued a regular system. When 
intending to write, she went to Boston, shut herself up in hired 
rooms, and wi'-ote sometimes as much as fourteen hours per day. 
Her literary work accomplished, she returned to Concord exhausted. 



492 QUEEN OF HOME. 

there to recruit for future effort. Her works were not the result 
of much manual labor, as she seldom corrected and never copied. 
All her characters and scenes came to her before she put pen to 
paper. When she began to write she was ready, and her actual 
labor, at that especial time, was but little more than copying. 

Like her own Joe March, when "genius burned," she was 
under its sway, and, instead of retiring to the attic as Joe did, she 
retired to Boston. Financially, as well as in every other way, her 
works were a great success. She is credited with having made one 
hundred thousand dollars. This has been left for the support of her 
"adopted children," as they are termed ; for though having no little 
ones of her own, Miss Alcott's heart was full of real "mother-love," 
and it manifested itself in the care and assistance she gave to more 
than one growing girl and boy. 

There is an incident told of her (indeed, she was fond of telling 
it herself, for her sense of the ludicrous was keen, even when its 
point was against herself), which will, I feel sure, be interesting to 
the many of her readers to whom it is not familiar. One day, after 
being utterly worn out with receiving callers, yet more visitors were 
announced. At first, Miss Alcott was inclined to excuse herself, but 
her good heart prevailed, and she descended to the parlor, to find a 
strange lady and a little girl. The mother explained elaborately that 
the little girl had the greatest admiration for Miss Alcott's works, 
and felt so anxious to see her, etc. (all the old ground that had been 
gone over to Miss Alcott, ad nauseam). Meanwhile, the child her- 
self had nothing to say. She simply stared at Miss Alcott with a 
solemnity that became oppressive. So she said to the small visitor, 
encouragingly, "Well, my dear, have you nothing to say?" "O no !" 
exclaimed the child in a funereal voice; "O, I am so disappointed! 
I am so disappointed /'' "Why, my dear f'' exclaimed Miss Alcott, 
somewhat taken aback. "O," continued the child, in the same tone 
of bitter disappointment, "I thought you would be beautiful !" Miss 
Alcott laughed with delight, and insisted, to the remonstrating and 
horrified parent, that the child be allowed to express her opinion 
frankly, declaring that it was very refreshing. 

Miss Lucy C. Lillie, in her little memoir published in the Metro- 
politan, pays a very just and charming tribute to Miss Alcott's 
work. "I think," says she, "another generation will pay Miss 
Alcott the special tribute due her, for having founded an era in the 
literature of our century. Other juvenile writers of excellence — 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 493 

like Miss Warner, for instance — had certainly preceded her. But 
Miss Alcott's work was certainly unique. The peculiar quality of 
freshness, the captivating realism, of Miss Alcott's books, will, I am 
sure, make them forever popular." 

This specially gifted woman died March 6th, 1888, and left 
vacant a place that no one, as yet, has been found to fill. 

There is another class of writers, again, who have a double 
claim to our recognition, as devoting their time and talents to the 
furthering of some great cause or grand principle. No better ex- 
ponent of this type is to be found than Harriet Beecher Stowe, and 
it is safe to say, that no one has ever been more surprised at his or 
her own success than has this noble woman. Devoted to the cause 
of the down-trodden and oppressed, she was inspired to write her 
ever living "Uncle Tom's Cabin." Of the success of this work little 
need be said. The world knows it to such an extent that this same 
volume has been translated into seven different languages. Few 
American books, I fancy, have attained such an eminence as that. It 
is an undoubted fact, that this work of Mrs. Stowe aided very ma- 
terially to stir up, and keep alive, the feeling which resulted in the 
freeing of the slaves. She has written many other books, but none 
which have attained the immense sale (over five hundred thousand, I 
believe) that was reached by "Uncle Tom's Cabin." Her "Minister's 
Wooing" is a tender, soft picture, that can bear close scrutiny. Her 
"Little Foxes" is something, without having read which, no young 
person's education is complete. And to young couples, having first 
recommended "Little Foxes," I would most certainly add "My Wife 
and I." Mrs. Stowe has been ill for a long time now, but while her 
brain is at present quite non-retentive, and she feels all thinking a 
weariness, an admiring nation can never forget the vigorous intellect 
and firm, noble principle that informed her pen. 

We have yet another class of writers — those who devote them- 
selves to dialect stories. Prominent among these, though of entirely 
different nature, as well as purport or object, are George Egbert 
Craddock (Mary Noailles Murfree) and Marietta Holley, better 
known as "Samantha Allen" or "Josiah Allen's wife." Miss Holley 
hunts out all the weaknesses of human nature, and having found the 
vulnerable place, plants her dart with unerring aim, clothing her 
remarks in the "down-east" dialect. She has little use for the 
follies and foibles of fashionable life, and she does not hesitate to 
make it known. Every weakness that she perceives, she holds up to 



494 QUEEN OF HOME. 

ridicule with unsparing hand. Her judicious mixture of pathos and 
humor is at times very wonderful, so instantaneously, so gracefully, 
does she descend "from the sublime to the ridiculous." To those to 
whom such things do not become utterly wearisome after having 
read one or two, the observations and notations of "Josiah Allen's 
wife" are an unceasing fund of amusement. Entirely different is 
the work of Charles Egbert Craddock. Her work deals largely in 
description of Tennessee mountain life, and the dialect which she 
has chosen to portray, is that of the Tennessee mountaineer. 

There are many other women besides Harriet Beecher Stowe, 
with her " Uncle Tom's Cabin," who, however good their other work 
has been, have stirred the world by one particular volume. Of these, 
Margaret Deland, author of "John Ward, Preacher," is a noted 
example. She was already well known as a poet, but her novel of 
to-day, is a work with which her name and fame will always be 
associated, no matter what may be her future achievements, in poetry 
or prose. 

Says Book News of her : "Few authors have come to the front so 
rapidly and so brilliantly as Mrs. Margaret Deland. She is a writer 
from whom we have still much to look for, as she is only a little over 
thirty years of age, and already has done work rich in merit, and 
richer still in promise. Mrs. Deland was born in 1857 in Pittsburgh, 
Pennsylvania, and was brought up in that city, in the family of her 
uncle, the Hon. Benjamin Campbell. When she was seventeen years 
of age, she went to Pelham Priory, a boarding-school kept by two 
English ladies, in New Rochelle, near New York. Afterwards she 
entered the Cooper Institute, and took the course of Industrial 
Design. A little later, she taught drawing and design in the Normal 
College of New York, for a short time. In 1880, she was married 
to Mr. Louis F. Deland, and with her husband removed immediately 
to Boston, which city has since been her home. Mr. Deland is also 
possessed, of literary tastes and ability, and his critical and most 
helpful interest is of much assistance to her in her work. 

Mrs. Deland began writing in 1 884. A friend, seeing some of her 
poems and recognizing their true poetic worth, sent several, without 
the author's knowledge, to Harper' s Magazine, Others followed in 
the Century and other magazines. These were received with such 
favor, that she collected her pieces and had them published, in 1886, 
under the title of 'The Old Garden and Other Verses.' Not yet 
conscious of her own powers, she issued only a limited edition, 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 495 

which was exhausted within a few days. Since then, this volume has 
gone through six editions. Her poems are charming, by reason of 
their freshness, genuineness of feeHng, and power and feHcity of 
expression. Her first poem, 'The Succory,' we give here : 

Oh, not in ladies' gardens, 

My peasant Posy ! 

Smile thy dear, blue eyes, 

Nor only — nearer to the skies — 

In upland pastures, dim and sweet ; 

But by the dusty road, 

Where tired feet 

Toil to and fro ; 

Where flaunting Sin 

May see thy heavenly hue. 

Or weary Sorrow look from thee 

Toward a tenderer blue. 

Mrs. Deland's novel, 'John Ward, Preacher,' has been so 
much discussed, that there is little left to be here said of it. This 
much we may affirm, that it manifests a power and depth of thought, 
and insight into character, wonderful in one so young, with a finish 
and care of execution not often met with in this age of hurry. The 
book is now in its twentieth thousand in this country, and has gone 
through six editions in England, where also it has made a deep 
impression." 

It is not an uncommon thing, by any means, that an author is 
known both as poet and prose writer, but there are many who 
devote themselves to poetry alone. 

A few lines or verses are timidly put forth, which meet with a 
reception sufficiently encouraging to induce further effort. Suddenly, 
an idea takes flight and soars away with such joyous melody, that all 
the world pauses to listen, and sighs with disappointment when the 
song is done. 

The work is finished ! The rhymer is a recognized poet, and 
henceforth, an eager public waits for the next, and yet the next. 

Such a poet is Edith Thomas. The Brooklyn Eagle gives an 
account of her real introduction to the public, through the efforts and 
endorsement of Helen Hunt Jackson ("H. H."). 

" Mrs. Helen Hunt Jackson used to tell, with a great deal of 
pathos, the story of her first meeting with Edith Thomas, the poet. 
Mrs. Vincenzo Botta, who is known and loved by every literary man 
and woman of consequence in New York City, wrote to Mrs. 



496 QUEEN OF HOME. 

Jackson one day, saying that she had staying with her a young girl 
who, she beHeved, had great talent, and asked that Mrs. Jackson 
would let the girl come and read some of her poems to her. * I had 
suffered many things by reason of young women who wrote verse,' 
Mrs. Jackson used to say, 'and I dreaded it, but I said yes. The 
next day, through the pouring rain, came this gaunt girl, with her 
melancholy dark eyes, and thin, white face, looking so eager and 
anxious, that I couldn't bear to say to her what I felt I should have 
to say, so I told her to leave her portfolio with me and I would read 
the poems at my leisure and send her word. So, after she had gone, 
I took them up with the greatest repugnance and reluctance, and 
began turning the papers over. 

Pretty soon something struck my attention. I began to read, 
and went on and on. Then I rang my messenger call and scribbled 
on a card to Gilder, of the Century : ' Come to me at once. I have 
found a genius.' And in less than an hour the girl had three poems 
accepted by the Century, and I could scarcely wait till morning to tell 
her.' " 

Since that day. Miss Thomas has been a constant contributor to 
the magazines, and has published in two volumes, a collection of 
these verses ; and they all are so good, it is a little difficult to make 
a selection, though her "Sunshine Land" is, perhaps, as good an 
example as may be found, of her delicacy of touch, her tenderness of 
thought, and her peculiarly felicitous way of weaving in a life-lesson 
with her poetic fancies. 

They came in sight of a lovely shore, 
Yellow as gold in the morning light ; 
The sun's own color at noon it wore, 
And had faded not at the fall of night ; 
Clear weather or cloudy — ' twas all as one 
The happy hills seemed bathed with the sun, 
Its secret the sailors could not understand, 
But they called this country Sunshine Land. 

What was the secret ? — a simple thing 

(It will make you smile when once you know). 

Touched by the tender finger of spring, 

A million blossoms were all aglow ; 

So many, so many, so small and bright. 

They covered the hills with a mantle of light ; 

And the wild bee hummed, and the glad breeze fanned, 

Through the honeyed fields of Sunshine Land. 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 



497 



If over the sea we two were bound, 

What port, dear child would we choose for ours ? 

We would sail, and sail, till at last we found 

This fairy gold of a million flowers. 

Yet, darling, we'd find, if at home we stayed. 

Of many small joys our pleasures are made. 

More near than we think, very close at hand. 

Lie the golden fields of Sunshine Land. 

Who knows the good, to some suffering heart, that may arise 
from a stray song Hke this? Who does not remember a moment 
of trial, when some long-forgotten strain fell upon the mental ear, 
and soothed the overtaxed nerves ? 

Blessed be the women who write the tender little heart-melodies, 
the '* Mother Songs," that sink into the souls of their weary sisters, 
and lift them to a higher, nobler view of life ! 




32 



CHAPTER XII. 



CHARITIES AND OPPORTUNITES. 




F one wishes to chronicle the broader scope 
of woman's work, one hardly knows where 
to begin. When we have left the confined, 
though ever increasing, circle of her purely 
home influence — when we have passed over 
her enlarged sphere as working woman and 
bread-winner — when we have ceased to view 
her as ringing all the changes of occupation, 
from mill-hand to physician, from nurse to teacher, and 
enter into the field where, instead of working for per- 
sonal gain and fame, all her energies are devoted solely 
to the welfare of others, either as individuals or as a 
nation, the pen may well pause, while thought travels 
from one to another of the many and varied works of 
woman. 

Where shall we begin ? With individual effort ? 
Let us, then, take as a starting point (we shall be 
obliged to go backward, as well as forward, from this 
point) and take into consideration the grand scheme which Mrs. 
A. T. Stewart tried to carry out, in accordance with her husband's 
wishes, for the benefit of the working women of New York City. It 
is more than ten years, now, since this all fell through, and to-day 
it is, perhaps, hardly remembered as it was originally intended to 
exist. That the w^ant of success of the original plan was the result of 
ill-advisers to whom the idea, even in A. T. Stewart's time, was 
disagreeable, there are few found to doubt. It is well to speak 
of this one particular charity, because the result, as it was finally 
completed, was something so far from helpful, as to be a warning 
to all projectors of like plans. When finished, the hotel on Third 
avenue was an expanse of velvet carpets, mirrors, walnut furniture. 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 499 

and servants, and the visiting public held up its hands in admiration 
and exclaimed: "How charming! to provide all these elegancies for 
shop-women, for the nominal sum of six dollars a week!" and the 
public expected the said ''shop-women" to be overwhelmed with 
gratitude for the luxuries and the servants. But, ungrateful crea- 
tures ! they were not overwhelmed a particle. In the first place, 
there are few women in New York City who can afford to pay "the 
merely nominal sum of six dollars per week," no matter what 
luxuries may be provided for that amount of money. But that 
which militated against the scheme more strongly than anything 
else was, that while providing everything else for these women 
whom she desired to aid, Mrs. Stewart left entirely out of con- 
sideration, the one thing that was of value and is of value to the 
human heart — the element of home. There were libraries and 
bath-rooms and stationary wash-stands, but there was no home ; for 
one of the most stringent regulations of the establishment was, that 
in the private rooms of the dwellers therein, was to be absolutely 
nothing that belonged to the inhabitant. "How would it look," it is 
to be presumed they reasoned, before such an absurd regulation 
could have been made, "to see a faded old photograph of her 
country mother, or the old green pincushion her sister gave her, up 
in those rooms with their beautiful appointments !" So the dear old 
mother's picture and the faded green pincushion must never come 
out of the trunk, which was left in the basement. No little pot of 
ivy to remind 'her of her country home ! No sea-shell box left by 
the sailor lover on his last visit ! No bunch of hair flowers, in 
memoriam of the departed members of the family I Oh, no ! None 
of these ! None of these ! These women were to be placed in 
elegant surroundings, and they must be taught to live up to them, 
or, at least, must not be permitted to live below them. And, finally, 
they must be in bv half-past ten, and on no account have a male 
visitor. 

The consequence of all this ill-judged movement was, that the 
scheme failed, and very naturally, for want of supporters. No self- 
respecting w^oman would, for the sake of a few luxuries which she 
received in charity (for that is what it amounted to), live in a place 
where her every action was hampered — where, if her brother or her 
father came to see her, she must meet him on the street, and be in 
by ten o'clock, like a cook or a chambermaid. And it is to the 
credit of the working women of all classes in New York that, almost 



500 QUEEN OF HOME. 

to a woman, they preferred their Kttle rooms, bare of all luxuries 
save their own poor little attempts at such decoration as affection or 
taste dictated, but breathing of home, to the gilded prison to which 
this ill-advised charity would have condemned them. Most bread- 
winners are easily offended by the word "charity." They neither 
ask it nor receive it. All they want is fair, full value for work done, 
and a chance to earn it. 

Works of benevolence are divided into two distinct types — the 
preventive and the reformatory. With the reformatory, we will have 
little, to do at present. It would seem that when a time-worn axiom 
is "Prevention is better than cure," a nation would realize the fact, 
and such efforts towards prevention would be put forth, that reform 
could find but a small place in the world's work. But, alas ! such 
has not yet been the case. The world and its workers are waking 
up to the questions of vital importance involved in prevention, and 
such efforts as the Christian Association are not only gaining wider 
influence, but are increasing in number each year. In nothing, 
perhaps, can this question of advance be more clearly shown than in 
a brief history of this association in its dealings with women. 

The W^omen's Christian Association, an outgrowth of the Young 
Men's Christian Association, is now in its nineteenth year, and it may 
look back with satisfaction and thanksgiving upon its eighteen years 
of work. The outgrowth of the efforts of a few determined and 
sympathizing spirits, it now stands as one of the institutions of the 
world, and a recognized instrument for good. Yearly, new ideas 
are carried out and improvements introduced. The aim is to pro- 
vide for 2X[ yoimg working women a home and protection. Recogniz- 
ing the fact that the working woman of America is turned out in 
the world to battle for herself, and that in this position she meets 
with discouragements and temptations — temptations which are dis- 
couragements — discouragements which are temptations — at every 
turn, they make protection the objective point. To better accomplish 
this work, they not only do not take under their care women who 
are over twenty-five ; but when they reach this age, women are 
expected to withdraw. They naturally assume that a woman of 
twenty-five has acquired sufficient force of character and knowledge 
of the world to look after her own interests and protect herself. 
This limitation of age, however, refers oiily to those who board in 
the houses provided by the association for this purpose. All other 
considerations are extended to all working-women irrespective of age. 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 501 

The workers in this institution do not dispense charity in the 
old sense of the word. But they give it all its glorious, new inter- 
pretation. They help people to help themselves. They endeavor 
in every way to give young girls a chance. Have you ever thought 
what it must be to long for nothing in the world so much as a chance, 
and yet be denied that chance ? 

The founders of this charity recognize this in all its force, and 
they give young girls "a chance" in every way. An incident 
related in one of their yearly reports, will give a better illustration 
of their work in this line than almost any other one of which I know. 

" It was just at nightfall, upon the evening that Miss Leigh, of 
Paris, spent with us, that a girl about sixteen years old was brought 
to us for a night's lodging. Along with all the rest, she drifted into 
Assembly Hall, and as Miss Leigh was moving all our hearts with 
the story of the struggles and trials of the working girls in Paris, we 
saw the tears stream down this child's cheek. One of our ladies, 
sitting down beside her at the close of the meeting, drew from her 
her pathetic story. She never remembered any father or mother or 
home. While still a little child, she had been bound out to a travel- 
ing circus, and from that, into one strolling theatrical company after 
another ; never learning any good, but having a knowledge of evil 
that was appalling. She could not do a stroke of housework, but 
she knew every game of cards played. Oaths and curses, she said, 
she knew better than anything else. But of any knowledge of God, 
or the Saviour, or prayer, or right living, she was as ignorant as the 
veriest heathen. And now she wanted to be a better girl. ' Oh, for 
a chance to be a good girl, lady,' she said to me next morning, with 
her big eyes full of tears, and, thank God, we were able to give her 
the chance. Carefully watched over, fed and cared for, all that week 
we tried to do what we could to help her, and, being convinced of 
her sincerity, after many anxious thoughts and fervent prayers for 
help and wisdom, we were able to place her in a good home, near 
enough for us to keep our eye on her. I do not know when I have 
seen a more touching sight than the day she left us, with her ward- 
robe replenished out of the scanty stock of some of our dear house- 
hold, and a face beaming with smiles, that at last she was going to 
' have a chance.' 

The coveted 'chance' is, we believe, working out for this one, 
the promise of fruition in a redeemed life." 

In speaking of the Young Men's Christian Association, the 



502 QUEEN OF HOME. 

young president of one of Its branches related an incident in regard 
to a young man who was led by the sight of lights and the smell of 
coffee, to enter the parlors of this association, upon a ''Sociable" 
night. The warmth, the companionship, the food, the hearty wel- 
come, all conspired to put new heart into the man. Not a word was 
said to him of his past career, not a question was asked as to his 
future or his religious convictions. Nothing was done at which the 
most indifferent or skeptical could take alarm. So imbued was the 
man with a sense of novelty and comfort, that his resolution was 
taken, and from that night, through many a toilsome by-way, up 
many a thorny road, he struggled back to manhood, and he often 
speaks to young men now, of the time his soul was saved by a cup of 
coffee. 

Strictures are often passed by the scoffing, upon the methods 
used by these institutions, in reclaiming the wanderers. They say, 
money is spent in amusing them, and in '' Sociables " and like ''non- 
sense," as they are pleased to term it, which would be better spent in 
some other way. But such cavillers do not realize, that in all bruta- 
ized human-nature, the physical must be appealed to before even the 
mental is approached, and that the mental must be fed, before the 
moral and spiritual can be attacked. The young man quoted above, 
is not the only one whose soul has been saved through a cup of 
coffee or some other equally humble instrument. 

Most truly do these noble-hearted women hold out the cup of 
cold water to those around them, who are mentally and morally, as 
well as physically athirst. 

The large boarding-houses provided for the applicants are con- 
ducted on the most home-like plan, consistent with the numbers 
housed. The bedrooms are so arranged that seldom more than two 
girls occupy a room together. There are even no dormitories such 
as we find in many large boarding-schools. 

Each girl is provided with wholesome and abundant food, and 
is permitted to put one dozen pieces in the wash each week. There 
are bath-rooms, recreation rooms, parlors and libraries. Games are 
provided, and social life is encouraged. All this is done for the sum 
of three dollars per week, provided a girl's wages do not run over 
five dollars. After that, there is a small but steady increase in the 
demand for board, in proportion to the increase of salary. 

There is also a house-physician, whose services are given free to 
the inmates of the household. 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 503 

In addition to all this, the association is reaching out its arms in 
all directions and providing summer "Rests" for the tired, over- 
worked working girl. There are seaside resorts and summer 
residences, to which these young girls may go for two weeks, at the 
cost of eight dollars, including car-fare. Think of it ! Think of the 
boon it is to leave the hot, dusty city and drink in the beauty of the 
green fields or the ever-changing sea ! 

One young girl exclaimed: '' Those two weeks are what I look 
forv/ard to for six months to come, and back to for the next six 
months ! " 

''O," exclaimed a little half-starved city girl, when taken on a 
day's trip to the seaside by some charitable institution or other, 
" how £-ood it is to see enough of something." 

And this sentiment is more prevalent than you would imagine. 
There is no part of the w^hole scheme of this charity that is more 
beneficent than that of giving each one a chance for tWo weeks' 
absolute rest away from city sights and sounds. 

Beside the advantages offered in this way, there are others. 
Night-schools are connected with the institutions, in which the daily 
worker may obtain instruction in any branch she may desire. Should 
her education have been neglected, and she have a thirst for 'Team- 
ing for learning's sake," here is the place where she may obtain it 
almost free of cost to herself. The curriculum is about as follows : 
reading, spelling, writing, grammar, composition, arithmetic, plain 
sewing and button-holes, one dollar for each course ; book-keeping, 
German, elocution, stenography, type-writing, dressmaking, cutting 
and fitting, millinery and advanced cooking, two dollars for each 
course. 

Connected with its general workings (and yet disconnected with 
its other branches) are restaurants, where a young woman may 
obtain an excellent meal for a much less rate than at ordinary rest- 
aurants. There are also rooms for temporary lodgers, and women 
strangers who are visiting cities alone, are sure of comfortable quar- 
ters, at reasonable rates, with the restful assurance that they know 
exactly with whom they are staying. 

All this good is the outgrowth of hard work, business ability and 
that tenacity for which woman is often condemned, upon the part of 
a few loyal women. 

Disconnected with the Women's Christian Association, and yet 
undoubtedly due to its workings, are the various organizations formed 



504 QUEEN OF HOME. 

to give days and weeks of pleasure to mothers and children. In Red 
Bank, New Jersey, for instance, an old hotel has been fitted up for 
this purpose, and there, day after day and week after week, pining 
and delicate children are taken to get the air. All around are woods 
and river and open field. Each day at noon there is a pint of vege- 
table soup provided for each one, and as much milk, all day long, as 
the children can use. Some days, there are as many as a thousand 
who take advantage of this delightful outing. Neighbors club their 
resources together and send the children of four or five families 
under the care of one mother. The next time, it is the turn of another 
mother, and so on. By this means each child gets five days outing, 
while the mother loses but one day's work (though she gains a day 
that is, in the end, of far more value to her). 

Again, there are those good, kindly-hearted souls that each 
summer, open their farmhouses and their large hearts to one or 
more little ones and give them ''a real good time," bringing life to 
their eyes and health to their cheeks, by open-air play and generous 
fare, not forgetting that stimulant of childhood, milk. How can we 
say enough — how can any one speak with even the faintest discour- 
agement of what woman is able to accomplish, with all this before us 
as evidence? Some exclaim, 'Tf the facts do not agree with the 
theory, so much the worse for the facts." 

And the Womeii s Christia?i Temperance Union, known as the 
W. C. T. U. all over the world ! What need be said of that ? It 
would seem that all the world should already know of its accom- 
plished good, and that to herald them anew in this volume were a 
work of supererogation ; and yet too many tributes cannot be 
offered to such a woman as Frances E. Willard, the President of the 
W. C. T. U. 

Immediately upon her graduation from the College for Women, 
in Evanston, Illinois, Miss Willard was elected to its Professorship 
of Natural Science, at the age of twenty-three. 

After her return from a trip to Europe, which covered a period 
of two and a half years, she was made Dean in the college and 
Professor of ^Esthetics in the university, which was composed of 
several institutions under one head. She has the honor of being 
the first woman ever elected to the presidency of a college. 

But, advanced as are her acquirements and education, it is not 
of these I desire to speak. I wish more especially to pay a tribute 
to the woman herself— \.o put before the world, that all may see the 




FRAXCES E. WILLARD. 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 505 

noble, self-sacrificing spirit, the hard work, the charitable zeal that 
has informed all her work, and has formed the foundation for the 
success which has crow^ned her efforts. When the necessity for work 
in the field of intemperance was forced upon her ; when a call came 
from the agonized hearts of wives and mothers from all over the 
country, that something should be done to save them from despair, 
among the first to answer the call, was Frances E. Willard. Sacri- 
ficing everything in the way of a certainty of livelihood, putting 
utterly away from her the twenty-four hundred dollars per year 
assured her in her position in the college, she entered the new field 
of labor, and, with absolutely no prospect ahead, devoted herself, 
body and soul, to what seemed to her friends a desperate and losing 
cause. 

Composed only of thousands of desperate women — entirely with- 
out any organized plan of action — directly opposed to what was 
supposed to be the money-making element of the nation, the cause 
might well be regarded as desperate. 

But Frances E. Willard, w^ith her clear brain, her head for busi- 
ness, and her executive ability, had evolved order out of chaos in a 
marvellously short time. When at the very lowest financial ebb, 
personally — all her money having been devoted to the cause she 
loved so much — she received two letters offering her positions. 
The first, that of Principal in the Normal Institution of New York, 
with a salary of twent}^-five hundred dollars per year ; the second, 
urging upon her the presidency of the W. C. T. U. of Chicago, a 
society with absolutely no financial resources, and which had been 
able to record only one triumph — that of having been able to close 
the saloons on Sunday, through a petition to Common Council. 

Here the woman came to the fore grandly, and, in opposition to 
all advice and wishes of others, she accepted the latter, entering 
cheerfully upon her new life of privation, never for a moment doubt- 
ing that the cause would finally win. Hard work and poor fare 
broke her down, however, and resulted in a serious illness. The 
facts being strongly presented to the White Ribbon Women, a 
handsome check and the regular payment of a fair salar}' were the 
result. 

The National V\[ ovci^W s Christian Temperance Union desired 
that she would accept its presidency, but she preferred to fill the 
position of secretary. She afterwards, however, accepted the presi- 
dency in 1879. 



5o6 QUEEN OF HOME. 

She is identified with the cause of Woman's Suffrage, being 
convinced that, through woman's vote, the millenium of temperance 
is nearer at hand. 

Her correspondence is something enormous, consisting of 
the reading and answering of some twenty thousand letters yearly. 
With all this, she is known as a writer to various magazines, and is 
frequently heard upon the platform, advocating the causes to which 
she has devoted the whole of her useful life. 

She has a right-hand man in the person of Miss Gordon, who 
sees after all the petty details of life, leaving Miss Willard without 
thought or care of even so much as a railroad ticket or pocket hand- 
kerchief, and thus her mind is free, absolutely free, to devote itself 
to the higher requirements of her life-work. Long may she live to 
perfect her work ! 

There are two other institutions which have branches in all large 
cities in the United States, and possibly in the Old World. It would 
seem that such institutions of beneficence should be found all over 
the globe. I refer to the Exchange for Woman s Work, and The 
Decorative Art Society. These are intended to aid such women as 
have been unused to any but the lighter kinds of labor. In the 
''exchanges," any kind of ^ work may find a home and remain until 
sold, a small commission upon the sale being retained by the insti- 
tution. Here may be found anything from pin-cushions to pickles, 
from bed-spreads to babies' bibs. In the case, in the Exchange of 
New York, there were at one time for sale, some most beautiful 
preserved pears from California. Here, one may leave an order 
for anything, and obtain it in its best home-made style. Many a pan 
of warm biscuit and nice home-made cake goes out from these 
exchanges. Many young girls, who find the necessity of staying 
home to help mother, and yet find it hard to obtain the money for 
clothes, earn many a dollar by their pretty crochet or knitting, which 
they do at odd times, as "pick-up work." 

If a young woman (or an old one either, for that matter) takes 
a sample of her work to these establishments, she can leave her 
name for orders, which will be promptly forwarded to her, the same 
commission being charged as if her goods were sold. In this way, 
orders for cake, bread, biscuit and pies, often keep busy the young 
girl who takes up the work. One lady, out West, declares that she 
has made a handsome income by sending preserves (real home-ri\2.di^ 
preserves) and jellies to these institutions, where she can always 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 507 

obtain the best prices. Few people purchase at these places but those 
who are willing to pay the best price for what they buy. 

The work taken at The Decorative Art Society is of a different 
nature. All taken to them must be of the distinctly decorative type. 
They will take pillow-cases for instance, if they are hemstitched and 
show drawn-work, but of plain ones they will have none. They have 
no use for plain sewing, no matter how dainty it may be. Drawn- 
work, painting, embroidery, designs, anything, in fact, that is decora- 
tive, or tends to decoration, find a sale there, if of good quality. 
This affords an excellent opportunity to many young girls, who, after 
having received the higher education of the day, find their wealth 
gone, and themselves stranded upon a world that has but little use 
for any who have not been trained to be of use. Who shall say 
that this is not a true charity ? 

One of the most important private charities ever established is 
one which has been in operation for about four years in the city of New 
York. It is a glorious work, of which the inception and working out 
lies entirely with Mrs. Lamadrid. In a personal letter she says : "I 
enclose you a clipping from the JVew York World, written about a 
year ago, which will, I hope, give you a general idea of my work and 
its bearings. As to meals served up to date, as near as possible, I 
should say about three millions. It is a great, great blessing to our 
city poor, and I do it in the Master's name." 

" St. Andrew's one-cent coffee stands" have now been so long 
established as to be a regular and well known institution of New 
York city. They are no longer an experiment — they are an accom- 
plished fact. 

Something less than four years ago, Mrs. Lamadrid conceived 
the idea of establishing, in New York city, coffee booths, where any- 
one could obtain a cup of coffee and a roll for one cent. These were 
already in operation in England, the price there being 2^ pen7iy, which 
is equal to two of our cents. To think, was to act, with Mrs. Lama- 
drid, and it was not long till she had her carefully prepared plan in 
operation. Her husband is very wealthy, and can well afford to 
provide his wife with money to carry out any whim which might seize 
her fancy. But this is no whim with Mrs. Lamadrid. The business 
is not carried on in that way. Supplied liberally with money, and 
possessing a husband who is thoroughly sympathetic, Mrs. Lamadrid 
makes this charity her life-work, devoting not only her own and her 
husband's money to the purpose, but giving regular and systematic 



5o8 QUEEN OF HOME. 

attention to the work, devoting a certain portion of each day to its 
regulation. As has been justly observed of her, she most truly 
realizes for us, in her own person, the original meaning of the term 
*' lady " — the original, old Saxon word being '' hlaf-den,'' loaf-giver. 

To quote directly from the article in The WoiHd : "At first, 
she met much opposition and very little encouragement, but the 
stands were an instant success, and they rapidly multiplied until she 
reached the limit of her funds. Mrs. Lamadrid is a skillful business 
woman and a rigid economist, otherwise the charity would soon 
become impossible. Every day in winter, she drives down from her 
handsome up-town residence to the kitchen in Madison street, and 
all through the hot summer weather, she leaves her pretty country 
home at Bay Ridge, and comes in for an hour or two, to see that 
everything goes well, and transact all the business connected with 
the work. She has made special contracts with grocers, butchers 
and bakers. There is a large kitchen in the basement, and the 
white-capped cooks, under her eye, weigh and measure everything, 
and make savory and appetizing, the contents of the great pots and 
kettles simmering on the range. 

Twice a day food is packed and distributed by carts to the booths, 
where a charcoal brazier keeps things piping hot, and warms the 
water, in which every dish and spoon is carefully cleansed after 
every using, for Mrs. Lamadrid is determined that her charity shall 
not be cold, but as hot and clean as it is possible to make it." 

In the front of the basement is her office, where are done up 
parcels of change and packages of food-tickets. These tickets are 
purchased by merchants, and others who desire to distribute charity, 
but do not wish to give money to the shiftless. If a man asks for 
food, a ticket is as good as money wherewith to purchase it, for it is 
good for one cent at any of the St. Andrew booths. Mrs. Lamadrid 
desires it to be thoroughly known that it is no manner of assistance 
to this enterprise, for any one to buy tickets, for the sake of helping 
the scheme along, without afterwards distributing them. On the 
contrary, it is a hindrance. Tickets locked up in this way represent a 
fictitious value, because no real deduction can be drawn from their sale. 
They represent nothing, and yet only from the sale of the tickets is 
she enabled to come to an approximate estimate of the amount of 
food needed. If, of one thousand tickets sold, only five hundred are 
presented (the rest being locked up by people of mistaken benevo- 
lence), the food which has been prepared in anticipation of the 



I 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 509 

presentation of the remaining five hundred, is practically wasted, and 
the object of the charity defeated. Mrs. Lamadrid desires to feed 
the hungry, not to sell, for the sake of profit, the tickets she has had 
printed. Common sense would dictate to every one that there can 
be no profit in a hot lunch that costs the purchaser but one cent. 
In fact, careful computation shows that it is in reality exactly one-half 
the cost — the loss being Mrs. Lamadrid's contribution to the enter- 
prise. Her cent, therefore, if locked up in the way spoken of, is 
sunk entirely, and does no good. 

Of course, all this is really charity, since the purchaser receives 
twice the value of his money ; but it is charity offered in such a way, 
that the proudest may accept if necessity drives. Here are to be 
found coffee, beans, rice and pea-soup, all to be had for one cent — 
each, all piping hot. And warming and comforting is it to many a 
poor soul, tired and hungry, to obtain such fare for such a price. 
To quote again from The World: "Some of the stories that come 
to Mrs. Lamadrid are very touching. In an old garret, near Duane 
street, lived a young German artist who was studying his profession 
of engraver and etcher. He was too poor to live in the ordinary 
way, and, at the same time, pay for his lessons ; so he got permission 
to sleep in the unused loft of a store, and lived sumptuously at the 
nearest St. Andrew coffee-stand, for nine cents a day, until he had 
learned his profession and got work, when he made haste to thank 
the gnadige frau whose wise benevolence had been so great a boon 
to him. 

Two sisters, who sewed for a living, tided over all their hard 
times, last winter, by eating at the coffee-stand at Ann street, and 
n\any a waif, to whom a hot meal was an unknown luxury, now fares 
warmly and sumptuously every day. There is even a charming 
suggestion in the name, 'St. Andrew's Stands,' for he was the apostle 
who carried the fragments of the miraculous loaves and fishes among 
the people, and fed the lean and hungry Galileans." 

As above stated, Mrs. Lamadrid tells me that, up to the present 
time, there have been distributed about three million meals. Think 
of it ! Three million good, warm meals ! And all this the result, not 
of one woman's money, but of her benevolent heart and her ability 
and energy to formulate and carry out her project, after it was once 
presented to her active brain and charitable soul. 

And the grand, good feature of the booths is that they are never 
closed. At any hour in the night, the hot food can be obtained, and 



5IO QUEEN OF HOME. 

even all during the blizzard, she managed to keep them supplied with 
the amount of food necessary. 

What more need I say? The Great Teacher has said, "Inas- 
much as ye have done it unto the least of these." Surely, Mrs. 
Lamadrid has followed in the steps of the Master whom she strives 
to serve, and has given "the cup of water" with a liberal harid. 

One most beautiful work, that claims the attention of many, and 
does a quiet good that is beyond computation, is the Flower Mission. 
This is not confined to any one locality, but may be found, as are 
almost all other charities, in all large cities. 

Implanted in the human heart, so deeply that nothing can eradi- 
cate it, is the love of flowers. Walk among the lower quarters of any 
city, with a bunch of blossoms in your hand, and see how the very 
lowest and most unpromising of the children will swarm round you, 
and beg for "just one flower, lady." 

Who can estimate the pleasure that fills the souls of the poor, 
when they see the flowers from the fields, which they cannot hope ever 
to be able to reach ? Who can tell what message of a higher life a 
little blossom may bear to the sick ? Who can know how far a little 
daisy, or a violet, may go towards reclaiming a fallen-soul, if it brings 
her a message from her country home, where she spent her unsullied 
childhood ? Many a hardened criminal has broken down utterly, at 
the sight of a bud or a blossom that was entwined with bitter-sweet 
memories, as only flowers can be entwined. Who shall say then, 
that the Flower Mission is not one which, in importance, stands side 
by side with many another with more pretentious aims ? 

To the good work, both in founding and running hospitals, few 
can attest, because the work is done so quietly and so unostenta- 
tiously, that few know of the physical and financial sacrifices, made by 
many women of leisure and wealth in the interest of their less for- 
tunate sisters. 

One instance alone is all that I will cite, but it may be taken as 
a fair sample of the work done by many a woman who is really known 
best as a "society woman," and of whose private work of this kind 
but little is heard. To the Medico-Chirurgical College of Philadelphia 
is attached a hospital. A little over four years ago, this hospital 
started with one room, a rather dilapidated bedstead, and a patient, 
a young girl, who needed all the aid and attention that medical skill 
could render. Too poor, as an institution, to have any organized 
system of nursing, the wives of the medical faculty volunteered their 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 511 

services, and there, day by day, in turn, they cared for this poor 
creature, and gave her the solace and attentions that only a refined, 
sympathetic woman can give. 

From that nucleus, through the energies of those same devoted 
women, the Medico-Chirurgical Hospital is an accomplished fact. 
So much is it a recognized institution, that the Governor has lately 
signed a petition for an appropriation of fifty thousand dollars for 
enlargement and improvement. 

Of the thousands of women who are unsung — women whose 
right hand knows not what their left hand does — it is impossible to 
tell. Of the many noble, private and unheard-of charities, who shall 
say ? Of the women whose charitable work consists in reading to 
the blind or aged — in laving the fevered brow of the patient too 
poor or alone to have claim on anyone — who makes record, so that 
all the world may read and know ? None ! 

And all this is the work of women who are, many of them, well 
and favorably known, not only as society women, but as wives and 
mothers ! 

There is one form of charity, which, I think, may be safely so 
called, although it does not consist in any material giving — not even 
the ''cup of cold water." It must, perforce, of its nature, too, lack 
any of the elements of coldness that often enters into alms-giving. 
I refer to the giving of sympathy. Life is very bitter to many a poor 
soul, and the "word in season," which unlocks the soul and brings 
blessed tears to the dry eye, or checks the exhausting sob and gives 
a word of hope or wise counsel, is as truly charity as any other thing 
that one may bestow. 

"The ideal woman feels that all are the children of want," says 
Gail Hamilton, "bodily, mental, moral want, the infant of days or 
man bowed with age — all are children whom the Lord has given 
her, and over a wide and ever-widening circle beams the radiance of 
her spotless motherhood." Supplementary to this, is a paragraph 
from John Boyd Kinnear, which may well find a place in this chap- 
ter : " If a woman were to try to do the very best for herself, in a 
worldly sense, she could take no surer course than by fitting herself 
to confer the largest benefits on those around her. For her, then, 
I ask that she shall be trained so to be best able to do good." What 
made Florence Nightingale beloved ? Was it because she nursed 
the patients back to life? Many another has done that. No! it 
was her sympathetic heart, that, while she had a tender hand for 



512 QUEEN OF HOME. 

their physical ailments, taught her where to place a healing balm 
upon the mental miseries of the suffering ones. What was Sister 
Dora's charm ? The same thing ! No one is loved for mere fulfil- 
ment of duty. One is respected and admired, but not loved as these 
two women were. Look at the Roman Catholic Sisters who, following 
in the steps of the brave and noble Father Damien, have gone out 
to the Pacific Islands to nurse the lepers ! "Greater love hath no 
man than this — that he giveth his life!' 

With a heart filled with the tenderest pity — that truest of all 
charity, that longs to aid a suffering soul — these noble-hearted, de- 
voted, women have given their lives. Not at the instigation of the 
heroic impulse induced by emergency, but calmly, deliberately. 
They have, with a clear consideration and a full knowledge of what 
is before them, given up everything, and gone into a living death. 
Surely, one can do no more than give one's life, daily and hourly, 
as a sacrifice upon the altar of charity. 

Of all, however, is not demanded, either by circumstances, by 
conscience, or by religious training, such a terrible self-sacrifice as 
this. But it lies within the power of all to do something, in this 
way, and the more especially in that of women who are heads or 
overseers of large establishments. Where girls are herded together, 
no matter what the business, they are oppressed by a sense of unity 
with the mass ; they feel that their individuality is gone, and they 
themselves but a drop in the great sea of life. Here is the oppor- 
tunity for the woman who is head of such a collection of women. 
And, for such reason, women are better calculated to hold such posi- 
tions than men. By slow degrees, through observation — keen, 
though quiet — through a word dropped here, and a hint caught 
there, she may learn much of the inner life and home-surroundings 
of these girls intrusted to her care. She has a duty to her employer, 
which is the thing for which she is paid ; but her duty to the girls, 
as struggling women, is as great in its way as that to her employer, 
providing they do not conflict in any way. 

Life is a dreary thing, at best, with many of these young girls, 
and the struggle to make ''both ends meet," and the hopeless task 
of making three dollars do the work of ten, are weary work. The 
girl who sits at her loom, hollow-eyed, savage, giving never a pleas- 
ant word to companion or employer, is set down as moody, if not 
actually vicious. Who knows or cares that the little brother is 
dying at home, perhaps dead, at that moment, while the weary sister, 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 513 

worn out with night-watching, must toil on and on to earn money 
for their support, lest they starve ? No one ! She is only an atom 
of humanity, and her limited experience has taught her that her ills 
are her own, and that no one else is interested. This is the lesson 
she has learned, but to the honor of humanity be it said, that she 
has drawn the wrong conclusion. The human heart is mostly open 
to the demand for sympathy, if one only knows how to ask for it. 
Indeed, it is often much less difficult to give sympathy than to 
demand it. Many human beings are like animals in this respect ; 
finding a fellow in distress, they freely give of their best — of their 
very selves — but when the case is reversed, and they need the 
sympathy and encouragement that they have so freely and gladly 
bestowed on others, they only ask to be permitted to go away and 
fight it out alone. 

To reach such cases as these is often woman's peculiar privi- 
lege, and, as I said before, a woman who is nominal head of such a 
collection of girls as I have spoken of, has infinite opportunity. If 
she fails to seize it, it is as much her loss as that of those by whom 
she is surrounded, and to whom she may be so much. A word 
about yesterday's toothache — a query about the sick mother — a 
question about the little lame sister — will brighten the whole day for 
an employe, sometimes. 

'' I love to have Miss Blank come up-stairs," exclaimed a young 
compositor. *'She never said anything to me especially, but it does 
me good to look at her, she has such a kind face. If she speaks to 
me it makes sunshine for me all day. I always try to manage it so 
that she shall nod and smile at me." Only a smile ! Such a little 
thing to give, but brightening the whole day for another ! There 
will come, too, if by slow but sure degrees the confidence of the 
girls has been gained, a hundred opportunities of giving advice or 
information, that will be of infinite value and will never be forgotten. 

It is a great boon for a struggling, motherless, perhaps home- 
less, or worse than homeless, young girl, to have some one to turn to 
with all her physical and mental ills. It is a great comfort for such 
an one to be able to turn to an older woman, whose opinions she 
respects, and ask her advice on all subjects, from the most trivial to 
the most weighty. Thmk what a favor is conferred by the woman 
who listens patiently and advises wisely (because her own experi- 
ence of limited means makes her knowledge valuable) in regard to 
the turning of last year's dress or the combination of two. Young 



514 QUEEN OF HOME. 

girls like to look nice, and they must look respectable. Heaven only 
knows how some of them accomplish it ! And all their poor little 
fineries, so pathetic in their meagerness, are a source of real trouble 
to them, which can be much alleviated by a word or tw^o of advice. 

Their physical ailments, too ! So many of these are produced 
by ignorance or apparent impossibility of proper mode of life ! A 
silk dress and no rubbers ! A feather in the hat, but no flannels ! 
Kid gloves, but almost useless stockings ! How much can be done 
to regulate these matters, only those who have seen it and known it 
can tell. To regulate the hearts and minds of these young girls, so 
that they shall take a truer view of life, and learn to accept the pure 
metal, is a work of charity of widest scope and interpretation. To 
teach them that, if they cannot have both, outward appearance is of 
far less moment than health, is a labor of love that may well claim 
the attention of any large-hearted woman within whose province the 
opportunity falls. 

To regulate the hearts ! Ah ! there comes the most difficult 
task of all ! This is the point upon which advice, good, motherly 
advice is most needed and least heeded. To protect girls from the 
world, and teach them to protect themselves, lies within the endeavor 
of all such institutions as the Young Women s Christian Association, 
but still it is undoubtedly a fact, that much of the good that is done 
by a nightly return to good home, like that provided by this institu- 
tion, is done away with by the contact with those more or less 
depraved during the day. "Girls who must be watched all the time, 
are weak, and will go wrong any way?" I don't ^gree with you ! 
Weak, certainly, but all the more reason that they should be sur- 
rounded by an atmosphere best adapted to their strengthening ; and 
a woman has it in her power, by persistent effort in the right direc- 
tion, to surround her employees with such an atmosphere as will 
enable them to look more clearly to a proper mode of life in all 
things. 

Many large business firms employ women in the capacity of 
overseers and forewomen, but their positions are such, that duty to 
their employer makes any other kind of oversight of the employees 
a very difficult task. Again, too, the women so employed are unfit 
for such positions. To do the best by the girls (and from a merce- 
nary point of view, also, for where there is heart and pleasure in the 
surroundings, better work is done), there should only be employed 
in this capacity women of judgment, of large sympathies, of experi- 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 515 

ence and of firmness. When these quahties are combined, the very 
best possible results are attained, both as to the character and dis- 
position of the employees, and as to the quantity and quality of 
work performed. 

"Is not the life more than meat?" says the Great Teacher ; 
and, surely, she who teaches her fellow-laborers how to live, does as 
much as she who gives them ''meat f 

Meek and lowly, 

Pure and holy,. 
Chief among the blessed three ; 

Turning sadness 

Into gladness, 
Heaven-born art thou. Charity. 

Never weary of well-doing, 

Never fearful of the end. 
Claiming all mankind as brothers; 

Thou dost all alike befriend. 

Chief among the blessed three. 
Heaven-born art thou, Charity. 




CONCLUSION. 



WOMAN HER POSITION, SOCIAL, CIVIL AND POLITICAL. 




'O close a volume of this kind, would seem 

impossible, without reviewing, in some way, 

the position of woman, as she now stands 

before the world — to compare her position as 

it now is, with what it once was, in centuries 

gone by, and to note, as well, with more than 

a passing glance, her comparative position in 

different countries. This view, I think, will 

show that, of all climes and all ages, the American 

woman of the nineteenth century, pre-eminently, 

holds the first position. 

The situation may be viewed from three stand- 
points — the social, the civil and the political — though 
the three are so intimately connected that it is difficult 
to tell just where one commences and the other ends. 
Beginning with the first suggested thought — socially, 
the position of the American woman is certainly su- 
perior to that held by her in any other country, and 
this progress has been rapid — a fact that may be distinctly attributed 
to the good sense of both men and women^good sense and good 
feeling upon the part of men, to recognize and acknowledge the 
good sense of women, w^hom tradition had taught them were a "little 
lower than the angels," but were utterly devoid of anything but the 
shallowest brains. 

In India, the wife still occupies the most abject position, and 
the widow of tender years is compelled to immolate herself upon 
the funeral pyre which consumes her deceased husband, or to live 
on, considered only as a blot on the earth. In China, female infants 
are still destroyed by the unenlightened, in accordance with their 
rigid laws. Christianity and civilized rule are doing much to stamp 



5i8 QUEEN OF HOME. 

out these iniquities, but ages will elapse before woman will be con- 
sidered as anything but an encumbrance in those countries. 

The moral degradation of woman in Turkey, is something that 
should employ our most serious thought. The toy of the hour, and 
then — destruction, in many cases, when she no longer pleases. The 
people are here awakening to their lack of enlightenment in, many 
ways, however: w^hich is proved by their sending to America, not long 
ago, a minister of the Armenian church, to learn American ways and 
introduce them to his own congregation. Let us hope that, among 
the ''ways" introduced, will be respect for woman as woman. 

In England and France, women are so closely environed, that 
it is the easiest thing in the world for the most innocent, if in the 
least degree thoughtless, to start a most damaging scandal. A 
native Parisian said to me, a few months ago, "I am glad to note 
that my countrymen are adopting American ways in regard to 
women. I think our young women have been kept entirely too 
closely. Instead of engendering innocence^ it only caused them to 
deceive. I am told that a young French woman can walk along 
the streets of Paris, now, with almost as much freedom as a young 
American may." "Did young xA-merican women excite remark by 
so doing?" I asked. "O, no; we all knew they were Americans, 
and no one thought anything of it. But we have learned that it is 
rather to the discredit of the young French women, not to be able 
to do that which the young women of another country can do, with 
perfect modesty and propriety." So here, you see, is one great 
step gained, and it has been accomplished, we may well be proud 
to think, by a demonstrated propriety of deportment upon the part 
of young American women in foreign countries, although, if one 
might judge from various novels, written by foreigners and would-be 
foreigners, the average young woman abroad is of the "Daisy 
Miller" type. 

In England, though there is not this kind of environment to 
contend with, there are certain other social considerations that mil- 
itate, in a measure, against her true independence, but these are 
gradually being modified. 

Whether "Young American Independence" is altogether an 
unmixed good, is a question which has been considered as open to 
doubt. It has been regarded by some as having a tendency to make 
our young women coarse, loud and slangy. But those who really 
study the matter, know that such is not really the case. There will 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. - 519 

always be those who take advantage of any privilege, but to take 
these as a type, betrays an unfairness of temperament with which 
one would be sorry to be charged. It has made them independent 
and thoughtful, but not coarse. 

Socially and civilly, woman has proved herself a success, and 
who shall deny that, politically, she is a power ? I do not refer to 
the ballot, though, doubtless, some day this will be accorded to her 
as her right. I do not mean to open up any discussion on the sub- 
ject of ''woman's rights," nor yet upon that of the freedom of the 
ballot ; but, as some one has ably expressed it, we are growing to 
dislike being classed with ''idiots and children," as incompetent. 
The law does not permit women, children or idiots to vote. It is 
growing just a little difficult for some of us to see just why an intel- 
ligent American woman of good education and a natural endowment 
of brains — one who keeps up with the topics of the day, and under- 
stands what her countrymen are doing — is not quite as competent to 
form an opinion of the state of the country, and of the men by whom 
she would prefer to be governed, as the average unintelligent 
foreigner, who is so soon naturalized, thus attaining to all the 
dignity of American citizenship, and enjoying all the privileges 
which that term implies. 

We fail, also, to see why an intelligent American woman, who 
has all the privileges of education, and has taken advantage of those 
privileges — who knows what she thinks and feels, and just why she 
so thinks and feels — who can converse intelligently and sensibly, 
perhaps brilliantly, on all topics treating of science, moral philosophy, 
church or state — we fail to see, I say, some of us, just why such a 
woman would not really poll a more valuable vote than a man who 
can neither read nor write. 

It seems, again, as if justice would demand, that a woman who 
owned property, as many do, might very readily have some word to 
say in regard to the laws which govern that property. 

Judging from a little slip taken from a local paper, it would 
seem that, at one time. New Jersey recognized the justice of this last 
view, and fixed the sum required for recognition as a voter, without 
regard to sex or color, at forty pounds — about two hundred dollars : 
"New Jersey gave suffrage, in 1776, to all inhabitants worth forty 
pounds. Women voted there until 1807. No state during those 
thirty years had a nobler record. But there, as here, and then, as 
now, an intelligent American population moved westward, and was 



520 • QUEEN OF HOME. 

replaced by illiterate immigrants. In 1799, John Adams carried the 
state, over Thomas Jefferson, by a small majority, owing, it was said, 
to the federal proclivities of the women voters. When the demo- 
crats, in 1807, got control of the legislature, they passed a law con- 
struing 'all inhabitants worth forty pounds,' to mean 'all white, male 
citizens whose names appeared on the last state or county tax list,' 
thus disfranchising women and free colored men worth forty pounds, 
and enfranchising, in their stead, every white man who paid a poll-tax 
of one dollar. New Jersey, as a consequence, lost her enviable 
moral pre-eminence, and became the pliant tool of a slaveholding and 
moneyed oligarchy." 

It is interesting to note the process, and the reasons given there- 
for, by which women lost the right to cast their vote. It is also 
pleasant to be able to say, when accused of aggression and encroach- 
ment, that our grandmothers had this privilege more than a hundred 
years ago. 

But, as I said before, this is merely by the way. I have not the 
slightest intention of opening any discussion ; only I must add, that 
a cause which has as a staunch supporter, Frances E. Willard, must 
be one of no small moment, and one that can very readily bear 
examination on all sides. Mrs. H. M. Tracy Cutler, too (the author 
of "Philippia, or a Woman's Question"), of Cobden, Illinois, is a firm 
supporter of suffrage. She has broken down in the cause, but says : 
"It is better to break down working for the right, than in fashion- 
able folly. If I had more means to spend, I suppose I would spend 
it all the same way." 

In speaking of the political power of women, I referred more 
especially to the fact that our public men depend very much upon 
the tact of the women of their households for smooth sailing in politi- 
cal waters. Seldom, too, has it been that a woman has been called 
to hold position as the wife of one of our high public officials, that 
she has not occupied that position with a dignity and grace that 
not only endeared her to all around her, but drew closer the chains 
with which she held her husband's and her children's hearts. The 
influence which the mothers of political men have wielded over their 
sons, and the affection and reverence with which these distinguished 
men have regarded their mothers, have many notable instances. In 
Mothers of Distinguished Men, we read : 

" Henry Clay, the pride and honor of his country, always ex- 
pressed feelings of profound affection and veneration for his mother. 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 521 

An habitual correspondence and enduring affection subsisted between 
them to the last hour of life. Mr. Clay ever spoke of her as a model 
of maternal character and female excellence, and it is said that he 
never met his constituents in Woodford county, after her death, 
without some allusion to her, which deeply affected both him and 
his audience. And nearly the last words uttered by this great 
statesman, when he came to die, were, ' Mother, mother, mother.' 
It is natural for us to feel that she must have been a good mother, 
that was loved and so dutifully served by such a boy, and that neither 
could have been wanting in rare virtue. 

Benjamin Franklin was accustomed to refer to his mother in 
the tenderest tone of filial affection. His respect and affection for 
her were manifested, among other ways, in frequent presents, that 
contributed to her comfort and solace in her advancing years. In 
one of his letters to her, for example, he sends her a moidore, a gold 
piece of the value of six dollars, 'toward chaise hire,' said he, 'that 
you may ride warm to meetings during the winter.' In another, he 
gives her an account of the growth and improvement of his son and 
daughter — topics which, as he well understood, are ever as dear to 
the grandmother as to the mother. 

General Marion was once a plodding young farmer, and in no 
way distinguished as superior to the young men of the neighborhood 
in which he lived, except for his devoted love and marked respect 
for his excellent mother, and exemplary honor and truthfulness. In 
these qualities he was eminent, from early childhood, and they marked 
his character through life. We may remark, in this connection, that 
it is usual to affect some degree of astonishment when we read of 
men whose after fame presents a striking contrast to the humility 
of their origin ; yet we must recollect, that it is not ancestry and 
splendid descent, but education and circumstances, which form the 
man. It is often a matter of surprise that distinguished men have 
such inferior children, and that a great name is seldom perpetuated. 
The secret of this is as often evident ; the mothers have been infe- 
rior — mere ciphers in the scale of existence. All the splendid 
advantages procured by wealth and the father's position, cannot 
supply this one deficiency in the mother, who gives character to the 
child. 

Sam Houston's mother was an extraordinary woman. She 
was distinguished by a full, rather tall and matronly form, a fine 
carriage, and an impressive and dignified countenance. She was 



522 QUEEN OF HOME. 

gifted with intellectual and moral qualities, which elevated her, in a 
still more striking manner, above most of her sex. Her life shone 
with purity and benevolence, and yet she was nerved with a stern 
fortitude, w^hich never gave way in the midst of the wild scenes that 
checkered the history of the frontier settlers. Mrs. Houston was 
left with the heavy burden of a numerous family. She had six sons 
and three daughters, but she was not a woman to succumb to mis- 
fortune, and she made ample provision, for one in her circumstances, 
for their future care and education. To bring up a large family of 
children in a proper manner is, under the most favorable circum- 
stances, a great work ; and in this case it rises into sublimity ; for 
there is no finer instance of heroism than that of one parent, espe- 
cially a mother, laboring for that end alone. 'The excellent woman,' 
says Goethe, ' is she who, if her husband dies, can be a father to her 
children.' 

As wife and mother, a woman is seen in her most sacred and 
dignified character ; as such she has great influence over the charac- 
ters of individuals, over the condition of families, and over the 
destinies of empires. It is a fact that many of our noblest patriots, 
our most profound scholars, and our holiest ministers, were stimu- 
lated to their excellence and usefulness by those holy principles 
which they derived, in early years, from pious mothers. 

Our mothers are our earliest instructors, and they have an 
influence over us, the importance of which, for time and eternity, 
surpasses the power of language to describe." 

The words of a few noted men upon this subject will find a most 
appropriate place here. Says Heinriche Heine: '-When I read 
histor}', and am impressed with any great deed, I feel as if I should 
like to see the woman who is concealed behind it, as the secret 
incentive," 

Bonaparte asked Madame de Stael in what manner he could best 
promote the happiness of France. " Her reply was," declares Daniel 
Webster, ''full of political wisdom." Said she: "Instruct the 
mothers of the French people." It is presumable that it was after 
this conversation with Madame de Stael that Napoleon said, in his 
laconic way, "The great need of France is mothers." 

Says Aime Martin: "If you would know the political and moral 
condition of a people, ask as to the condition of its women." 

"Women govern us," says Sheridan. "Let us render them 
perfect ; the more they are enlightened, so much the more shall we 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 523 

be. On the cultivation of the mind of women depends the wisdom 
of men. It is by women that nature writes on the hearts of men." 

Emerson says: "Men are what their mothers make them. You 
may as well ask a loom, that weaves huckaback, why it does not make 
cashmere, as to expect poetry from the engineer, or a chemical dis- 
covery from that jobber." 

Says a writer in Scribner s Monthly : "There is, probably, not 
an unperverted man or woman living, who does not feel that the 
sweetest consolations and best rewards of life are found in the loves 
and delights of home. There are very few who do not feel them- 
selves indebted to the influences that clustered around their cradles 
for whatever good there may be in their characters and condition. 
Home, based upon Christian marriage, is so evidently an institution 
of God, that a man must become profane before he can deny it. 
Wherever it is pure and true to the Christian idea, there lives an 
institution conservative of all the nobler instincts of society. Of 
this realm woman is the queen. It takes the cue and hue from 
her. If she is, in the best sense, womanly — if she is true and 
tender, loving and heroic, patient and self-devoted — she consciously 
and unconsciously organizes and puts in operation a set of influ- 
ences that do more to mould the destiny of the nation than any 
man, uncrowned by power of eloquence, can possibly effect. The 
men of the nation are what mothers make them, as a rule ; and the 
voice that those men speak, in the expression of power, is the voice 
of the woman who bore and bred them. There can be no substitute 
for this. There is no other possible way, in which the women of the 
nation can organize their influence and power, that will tell so bene- 
ficially upon society and the state." 

Though most of the authors quoted are of recent date, we find 
that, as far back as Plato, and even further, woman's power and 
influence were not only not denied, but were openly recognized. 
"The same education and opportunity for self-development which 
makes man a good guardian, will make woman a good guardian ; 
for their original nature is the same," says Plato. 

Passing by the eras marked by the magnificence of such reigns 
as those of the Queen of Sheba, Zenobia or Cleopatra, we come 
down to the comparatively more modern times, and take into con- 
sideration the wives of the kings, who have been known as wise 
counsellors, on whom their husbands depended for consultation in 
all straits. The example that should certainly be mentioned first, as 



524 QUEEN OF HOME. 

the one great author of America as it is to-day, is Queen Isabella, 
of Castile. Though the aid which she finally gave to Columbus was 
given in opposition to her husband's expressed coldness towards the 
scheme, together they had been interested in it at first, and through 
her woman's tenacity and faith in her instincts (not to call it by the 
harsher term of obstinacy, which certainly would have been applied 
to it, had Columbus been unsuccessful at the last) the voyager won 
the day, and we are a people, separate and distinct from all other 
peoples, albeit we are a combination of many or all. The Lives of 
IllMstrious Wome7i gives a very pleasing account of the personality 
of this woman, who, in her time, was such a power in the politics 
of her country. 

"At the period of her marriage, in 1469, Isabella had just 
entered her twentieth year. In person she was well formed, of 
middle size, with great dignity and gracefulness of deportment, and 
a mingled gravity and sweetness of demeanor. Her complexion 
was fair; her hair auburn, inclining to red ; her eyes were of a clear 
blue, with a benign expression, and there was a singular modesty in 
her countenance, gracing, as it did, a wonderful firmness of purpose 
and earnestness of spirit. She exceeded her husband in beauty, in 
personal dignity, in acuteness of genius and grandeur of soul. She 
combined a masculine energy of purpose with the utmost tenderness 
of heart, and a softness of temper and manner truly feminine. Her 
self-command was not allied to coldness, nor her prudence to dis- 
simulation, and her generous and magnanimous spirit disdained all 
indirect measures, and all the little crooked arts of policy. While 
all her public thoughts and acts were princely and august, her 
private habits were simple, frugal and unostentatious. Without 
being learned, she was fond of literature ; and, being possessed of a 
fine understanding, had cultivated many, branches of knowledge with 
success. She encouraged and patronized the arts, and was the soul 
of every undertaking which tended to promote the improvement 
and happiness of her subjects." 

The power exercised by Catherine Alexiewna over her husband, 
Peter the Great, is a well known story in history. Long before he 
married, while she was his slave, he became charmed with the 
powers of her intellect and her extraordinary talents. The bril- 
liancy of her mind became known all over Russia, long before Peter 
raised her to the throne by marriage. The Lives of Illustrious 
Women, in speaking of this extraordinary woman, says: "At first, 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 525 

the Czar only visited her occasionally; soon, however, not a day 
passed without his seeing her; and, ultimately, he took his ministers 
to her house, and transacted all business of state in her presence, 
frequently consulting her, and taking advice on the most knotty diffi- 
culties. Her cheerfulness, her mildness of temper, and especially 
her energy of mind, so congenial with his own, filled up the void 
left in his heart by former disappointments." 

Another most notable example (though in this case the crown 
belonged to the wife, and not the 'husband) is Mafia Theresa, of 
Austria, wife of Francis, of Loraine. Her reign was distinguished 
by political disturbances of all kinds, but her reign endeared her to 
the people. An account of her also is given in the Lives of Illus- 
trious Women, which clearly depicts the daily life of this great and 
noble woman, who knew so well how to combine the duties of a 
public and a private life. She was adored by her husband, and was 
devoted to him in return — a devotion which did not cease with his 
death. 

"Maria Theresa made some admirable regulations in the civil 
government of her kingdom ; she corrected many abuses which had 
hitherto existed in the administration of justice ; she abolished for- 
ever the use of torture throughout her dominions. The collection 
of the revenues was simplified ; the great number of tax-gatherers, 
which she justly considered as an engine of public oppression, was 
diminished. Her father had left her without a single florin in the 
treasury. In 1750, after eight years of war, and the loss of several 
states, her revenue exceeded those of her predecessors by six mil- 
lions. One of her benevolent projects failed, but not through any 
fault of her own. She conceived the idea of civilizing the numerous 
tribes of gypsies in Hungary and Bohemia ; but, after persevering 
for years, she was forced to abandon the design. Neither bribes 
nor punishment, neither mildness nor severity, could subdue the wild 
spirit of freedom in these tameless, lawless outcasts of society, or 
bring them within the pale of civilization. She had no overweening 
confidence in her own abilities. She was, at first, almost painfully 
sensible of the deficiencies of her education and of her own inex- 
perience. She eagerly sought advice and information, and gladly 
and gratefully accepted it from all persons ; and on every occasion 
she listened patiently to long and contradictory explanations. She 
read memorials and counter memorials, voluminous, immeasurable, 
perplexing. She was not satisfied with knowing or comprehending 



526 QUEEN OF HOME. 

everything ; she was, perhaps, a Httle too anxious to do everything, 
see everything, manage everything herself. While in possession 
of health and strength, she always rose at five in the morning, and 
often devoted ten or twelve hours together to the dispatch of bus- 
iness ; and, with all this close application to affairs, she found time 
to enter into society, to mingle in the amusements of her court, and 
to be the mother of sixteen children. She was by no means an 
extraordinary woman. In talents and strength of character she was 
inferior to Catherine of Russia and Elizabeth of England, but in 
moral qualities, far superior to either: and it may be questioned 
whether the brilliant genius of the former, or the worldly wisdom 
and sagacity of the latter, could have done more to sustain a sinking 
throne, than the popular and feminine virtues, the magnanimous 
spirit and unbending fortitude, of Maria Theresa. She expired on 
the twenty-ninth of November, 1780, in her sixty-fourth year; and 
it is, in truth, most worthy of remark, that the regrets of her family 
and her people did not end with the pageant of her funeral, nor 
were they obliterated by the new interests, new hopes, new splendors 
of a new reign. Years after her death, she was still remembered 
with tenderness and respect, and her subjects dated events from 
the time of their mother, the empress." This account shows that, 
even in monarchies, the highest and most honorable term that the 
governed can apply to her who governs wisely and well, is not 
*' Queen," but "Mother." 

Not less worthy of note than those gone before, is Victoria, 
queen of England, in her capacity of wife and mother. She was, 
as Maria Theresa, deeply attached to both husband and children. 
Like Maria Theresa also, she reigned by her own right, her husband 
being only prince consort. Her husband. Prince Albert, was a man 
of domestic tastes, and it is generally believed that Queen Victoria 
and her husband were an exceptionally happy couple. Her house- 
hold discipline is admirable, and when her children were young, they 
were taught to render an obedience to teachers and tutors, and to 
submit to a regularity of habit and hours, in precisely the same way 
that would have been the case had they been the children of a 
commoner, without one drop of royal blood in their veins. Her 
daughter, the wife of "Unser Fritz," believes in her mother's 
principles, and the story of Frederick, the late emperor of Ger- 
many, gives a little insight into the domestic life of this royal 
couple. Among the domestic tastes which she has gratified is one 



OCCUPATIONS FOR WOMEN. 527 

for a dairy. This she has estabUshed, and to this she retires when 
it so pleases her, to skim the cream or make the butter, as the fancy 
may take her. It is not to be supposed that she does much of this 
kind of thing, but she shows that she considers domestic duties and 
household labor, as no disgrace. 

And here, in America, where we have no royal blood — where 
we are glad only to know that our ancestry can be traced back to 
some hero or heroine of the revolution — here we have "queens" 
of society, who, with all their outside duties, all their calls for 
charitable endeavor, all the time necessarily spent in calling, and 
other demands of the society in which they move, still find time 
for domestic duties, and find their greatest enjoyment in home 
pleasures. 

The reverend H. H. Birkins pays a most beautiful tribute to the 
reign of the mother in her home. "The queen that sits upon the 
throne of home," says he, "crowned and sceptered as none other 
ever can be, is mother. Her enthronement is complete, her reign 
unrivalled, and the moral issues of her empire are eternal. 'Her 
children arise up, and call her blessed.' Rebellious, at times, as the 
subjects of her government may be, she rules them with marvellous 
patience, winning tenderness and undying love. She so presents 
and exemplifies divine truth, that it reproduces itself in the happiest 
development of childhood — character and life. Her memory is 
sacred while she lives, and becomes a perpetual inspiration, even 
when the bright flowers bloom above her sleeping dust. She is an 
incarnation of goodness to the child, and hence her immense power. 
Scotland, with her well known reverence for motherhood, insists that 
'an ounce of mother is worth more than a pound of clergy.' The 
ancient orator bestowed a flattering compliment upon the homes 
of Roman mothers when he said, 'The empire is at the fireside.* 
Who can think of the influence a mother wields in the home, and 
not be impressed with its far-reaching results ! What revolutions 
would take place in our families and communities if that strange, 
magnetic power were fully consecrated to the welfare of the child 
and the glory of God. Mohammed expressed a great truth when 
he said that 'Paradise is at the feet of mothers.' There is one vision 
that never fades from the soul, and that is the vision of mother and 
home. No man, in all his weary wanderings, ever goes out beyond 
the overshadowing arch of home. Let him stand on the surf-beaten 
coast of the Atlantic, or roam over western wilds, and every dash 



528 



QUEEN OF HOME. 



of the wave and murmur of the breeze will whisper, home, sweet 
home. Set him down amid the glaciers of the North, and even 
there thoughts of home, too warm to be chilled by the eternal frosts, 
will float in upon him. Let him rove through the green, waving 
groves, and over the sunny slopes of the South, and in the smile of 
the soft skies, and in the kiss of the balmy breeze, home will live 
again." 

T. De Witt Talmage, in speaking of woman and her influence, 
says: "Thank God, O woman ! for the quietude of your home, and 
that you are queen in it. Men come at even-tide to the home ; but 
all day-long you are there, beautifying it, sanctifying it, adorning it, 
blessing it. Better be there than wear Victoria's coronet. Better be 
humble there than carry the purse of a princess. It may be a very 
humble home. There may be no carpet on the floor. There may 
be no pictures on the wall. There may be no silks in the wardrobe ; 
but, by your faith in God, and your cheerful demeanor, you may 
garniture that place with more splendor than the upholsterer's hand 
ever kindled." 

The day has surely come when the cavillers are silenced, and 
it has been proved that woman may take a prominent place in the 
world — she may be known as ruler, philanthropist, scientist, novelist, 
philosopher, or even mere wage-earner, and still retain her right to 
rule as "Queen of Home." 




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